dog ate homework

The Young Justice team as things my chemistry class has said:

M'gann: *teacher announces pop quiz* “Where are the aliens when you need them, and can they please abduct me and take me away from this awful place" 

Artemis: "I’ll have you know, there’s fifteen bags of pot in my locker and I swear to god I’ll break into your house, plant them all under your pillow, and have the police take you away unless you give back that strawberry smencil right now" 

Jaime: "I want to die” “Wow, same, let’s jump out that window while the teacher’s not looking”  

Wally: “What do you get when you mix beauty and a nice personality? A date with me, hello" 

Conner: *breaks hour long silence* "You know, I ate a shark once" 

Kaldur:*kid answers obvious question completely wrong* Teacher: "You know, I could have been a surgeon or a scientist, but nooo, I decided to come here and meet all of you people" 

Zatanna: "Wtf, I got a hundred on the quiz?!” *whispers* “Thank you, illuminati”

Bart: *lights Bunsen burner and holds finger near flame* “I’ll touch this for a dollar”

Raquel: *two students are talking three feet away from each other* “OH MAH GAWD, GET A ROOM" 

Roy: "Where do babies come from?” “Yo mamma" 

Dick: "How much of these chemicals do I have to drink to get superpowers" 

Tim: "My brother got arrested yesterday, so guess who’s the favorite child now”

Mal:*principal announces lockdown drill over loudspeaker* “Oh well, I guess we’re all dying today, it was fun while it lasted" 

Virgil: "Excuse me teacher? Yeah, um, my sleeve caught on fire what do I do now" 

Garfield: "I swear to god my dog actually ate my homework you have to believe me”   

Stuff I've Actually Heard People Say
  • "Yeah, I just stuck him in the microwave."
  • "My friends and I have planned a murder for after school. Any tips?"
  • "You have another arm?" "Dude, everyone has two arms."
  • "It's simple, you just gag them and throw them in the trunk!"
  • "To heck with paleontology."
  • "Can you imagine if Velociraptors had wings?" "Well, actually-"
  • "Suh dude." "Same."
  • "Guard it with your life." "My knife?"
  • "First, you need have no life, Second, sell your soul to Adele."
  • "Feet; they're hands for your legs."
  • "Wow, those sure are some nice fish scales on your facial protrusions." "You really know how to sweep a girl off her feet."
  • "It's not even good garbage."
  • Teacher to the class: "Guys, I'm sorry but uh... my dog ate your homework." *Passes back chewed-up papers*
  • "Bros before toes."
  • "Woah, Dude, is that Harambe on your lock screen?" "Dude, that's my dog."
  • "Can you imagine just walking up to someone and slapping them in the face with a piece of meat?"
  • "Hey man, got any gum." "Nah dude, I'm about to kill myself." "I'm not sure how those are related, but okay."
  • "You're made of good dirt."
  • "Stop breathing so much."
  • "All my drawings look dead inside because I am dead inside."
  • "I didn't have lunch this morning."
  • "I have a strong desire to make dictators dance."
  • "Is this revenge for the octopus at the fair?"
  • "Embrace your inner childhood." "Embrace? You've got yours in a headlock!"
  • "Make sure you have Target popcorn at my funeral."
  • "And fill my coffin with glitter."
  • "I put the 'fun' in funeral."
  • "Oh my gosh, someone is going to get punched in the throat."
  • "I could do math in the time it's taking this light to change."
  • "We were both crying; it was fun."
  • "It's Halloween! Merry Christmas!...Wait."
  • "So like, if a centaur got arrested, would you handcuff its' legs?"
  • "Yeah, and I like the smell of farts."
  • "I stuffed your heart in my pencil bag, so I won't forget."
  • "Life sucks, but at least I have my Poptart."
  • "I want to build a mirror out of spoons."
  • "Joke's on you, I don't have a soul."
  • "Boy howdy do I like eating leaves off the ground."
  • "I'd rather be burnt toast than frozen bread."
  • "When I die, bury me in a Hefty bag... but make it a pretty color."
  • "I just got a great idea." "Dress up as Batman and beat up ____?"
  • "Plan B: Cry"
  • "Oh yeah, the guy with the head on his neck."
  • "I just choked on an oat."
  • "You're a substitute for a good friend."
  • "Dude, I once dropped a breakfast burrito on the garage floor, and I still ate it."
  • "We never go stale. Unlike our jokes."
  • "They speak American."
The Dog Ate My Homework
  • It’s a warm night in Sixth year at Hogwarts and Remus Lupin is sitting, bent over a table in the empty Gryffindor common room trying to finish off some charms homework that is due in the next day.
  • Sirius, who finished the homework earlier in the week (or, more correctly, thought up his excuse for not doing the homework earlier in the week) is sitting next to his boyfriends, desperately attempting to gain his attention.
  • ‘Moooonnnyyyy’ He says, tapping him in the arm with his quill.
  • ‘Moons’ he whines, draping himself over Remus’ shoulders.
  • ‘Moonykins’ he cries, laying across the table on Remus homework.
  • And Remus looks up in frustration, shoving Sirius off the now smudged work.
  • ‘Geroff’ Pads! I promise I will give you attention later, right now I need to finish this so shut up or go away.’
  • And so Sirius slumps down onto his chair beside him and is quiet….for about three seconds.
  • Before he jumps up onto the table and transforms into his animagus, gently padding up and down the table as he whines and wags his tail.
  • Remus tries to hide his smile by biting his lip and staring more aggressively at his work.
  • Padfoot comes over and starts licking his ear slowly irritating Remus into submission as he nips away.
  • ‘Padfoot.. I’m serious.’
  • The dog barks loudly before jumping up and down happily on the sheets of parchment.
  • Remus rolls his eyes as he tries to gather the work from under the stupid dog.
  • ‘Sirius I swear on Merlin’s life…’
  • Padfoot takes the papers between his teeth and growls playfully as he tries to pull the blasted homework away.
  • So Remus pulls it away even harder.
  • Sirius yanks it in response.
  • Remus tugs with all his might.
  • But the big black dog is stronger, and with one sharp heave, he tears the parchment free.
  • But he is so caught up in the fight he doesn’t even realise hes won, so he opens his mouth to get better purchase, and all the homework Remus had worked so hard on is now inside and being chewed up by his boyfriend.
  • Remus mouth falls open as he stares at the salivary wreckage.
  • ‘Pads..’
  • Sirius transforms back to stare at the pile of slobbery mess.
  • ‘Shit Moons… I didn’t mean to..’
  • ‘reparo’ Remus glares over at Sirius as he tries and fails to mend the work.
  • Sirius now sitting cross-legged on the table, looking like a scolded puppy. ‘Rem I’m sorry..’
  • But Remus just sighs in response.
  • The following day and Remus is standing up at the front of the charms classroom.
  • ‘Professor, I’m sorry, I don’t have my homework.’
  • Professor Flitwick just looks up curiously at the usually well-behaved marauder.
  • ‘Excuse me Mr Lupin? No homework? Why?’
  • Remus just blushes.
  • ‘It ugh… well I did it you see.. but then it sort of…’
  • ‘Yes?’
  • ‘Well.. it got ruined.’
  • Flitwick’s eyebrows go up. ‘Ruined? What ruined it?’
  • Remus’ blushes deepens. ‘Um.. well.. it sounds unbelievable.. but..but..’
  • ‘Come on Mr Lupin I don’t have all day.’
  • Remus’ eyes dart nervously around the room. ‘A dog ate it..’ he mumbles.
  • ‘What?’
  • ‘A dog ate it. A dog ate my homework.’ he says, much louder as the whole class giggles.
  • Flitwick shakes his head. ‘Really Mr Lupin. i had at least expected a better excuse.. A dog.. really…’
  • ‘No! No! It’s true professor! It really happened!’
  • ‘Detention Mr Lupin. Maybe try to think of something better next time. You can stop now Mr Black, you’ll be joining him.’

Sirius hadn’t stopped laughing the whole time.

The Excuse [1/1]

A/N: I honest to God have no idea what this is. This article came across my newsfeed and my brain did that thing (every writer in this fandom knows what I mean) and with enabling from one @xpumpkindumplingx, this came about even though I haven’t updated TMTC since October (still working on that, btw). Again, no idea what this is. It is teacher/student so if that’s not your jam feel free to give it a hard pass. The events that happen would not happy in real life but… fiction, right? Many thanks to @spartanguard for looking over this for me!

Rated: T
FFNET | AO3 (will post when AO3 decides to bloody cooperate) 


Killian Jones had seen many excuses for late assignments in his short teaching career but the one currently sitting in his inbox was by far the most extensive he had ever seen.


Killian Jones had seen many excuses for late assignments in his short teaching career.

A death in the family (a viable one, of course, except that one student whose grandmother died eight times in one semester) or the fact they were in a family member’s wedding and completely forgot about the assignment, even though every assignment he gave was on the course syllabus his students received on the first day of class. There was the one where they thought it was due another week (again, his course syllabus had the dates for all assignments) and the trickster excuse that it was showing in their sent email but not his inbox - like he was the seventy-year-old Mrs. Lucas who didn’t know how e-mail worked. Sickness of some sort was another one, although he doubted the one student had really had walking pneumonia but been able to drink his fellow classmates under the table that same night at the football game. His personal favorites were the dog had eaten their ten-page research essay and a tv show had left them emotionally compromised. He watched Doctor Who as well and while he could sympathize with their pain after the Doomsday episode, it still wasn’t a practical excuse.

But the one currently sitting in his inbox was by far the most extensive he had ever seen.

Keep reading

  • Saeyoung: Can I get an explanation of the reason are you hiding all these things from the RFA?
  • V: [opens book of excuses] Umm... My dog ate my homework, sorry.
Seems like... 것 같다

Sometimes we need or want to speak authoritatively on something that we know or believe to be true. However, sometimes we want to express that we are a little uncertain about we’re saying, or we just want to emphasize a little more that it’s coming from our own thoughts or opinions and not actual fact. Also, in Korean, saying something too directly can come across as rude, especially when speaking to your superiors. So how do we soften things up? Today, we’ll look at how to say that X seems or looks like Y.

There are actually three grammatical forms that we can look at to express this kind of meaning! Today we’ll look at what might be the most common one, 것 같다. The other two are -ㄴ가 보다 and -나 보다. They are largely similar to 것 같다, but there is a difference. Look forward to seeing a post on those in the future :)


PLEASE NOTE that in this post, “past,” “present,” and “future” all refer to the tense of the (noun modifier ending of the) verb before the grammar in question, not the tense of the sentence as a whole! I will write all of my sentences in this post in present tense for the sake of simplicity.


것 같다

To use this form properly you should understand noun modifier endings, which I discussed here. You simply use the appropriate noun modifier ending depending on whether you’re using an action verb, description verb, or noun and then follow that with 것 같다. Conjugate 같다 to your formality of choice and you’re done!

Action verbs

PAST: -은/ㄴ 것 같다

  • 이미 나간 것 같아요. (It seems he already went out.)
  • 강아지가 내 숙제를 먹은 것 같아. (It seems the dog ate my homework.)

PRESENT: -는 것 같다

  • 저 차는 너무 빨리 달리는 것 같아요. (It seems like that car is going too fast.)
  • 아기가 맛있게 먹는 것 같아요. (It seems that the baby is eating well.)

FUTURE: -(으)ㄹ 것 같다

  • 오늘 비가 올 것 같다. (It seems it will rain today.)
  • 내일 만나지 못할 것 같아요. (It seems we won’t be able to meet tomorrow.)

Descriptive verbs

PAST: -았/었을 것 같다 / -았/었던 것 같다 — If you are just speculating about something that you didn’t experience, use -았/었을 것 같다. If you’re talking about your own memory or something that you experienced, you can use -았/었던 것 같아요.

  • 이 옛날 사진을 보니까 그 때 살기는 많이 힘들었던 것 같아요. (Looking at this old photo, it seems that living at that time was really hard.)
  • 미나 씨가 어제 산 케이크가 이미 다 먹힌 걸 보니 정말 맛있었던 것 같아요. (Seeing that the cake Mina bought yesterday has already been entirely eaten, it seems it was very delicious.)

PRESENT: -(으)ㄴ 것 같다

  • 이 머리 스타일은 그 스타일보다 더 예쁜 것 같아요. (This hairstyle seems prettier than that one.)
  • 이 제품을 처음 사용해 보는데 품질이 정말 좋은 것 같네요. (I’m trying this product for the first time, and it seems the quality is really good.)

FUTURE: -(으)ㄹ 것 같다

  • 장마철에 한국에 가는 게 정말 안 좋을 것 같아요. (It seems that going to Korea during the rainy season won’t be good.)
  • 머리를 좀 더 밝은 색깔로 염색하면 예쁠 것 같아요. (It seems that if you dye your hair a lighter color, it will be pretty.)

Nouns

PAST: -이었/였던 것 같다

  • 저 할아버지는 요리를 이렇게 잘 하시는 걸 보니 과거에 요리사이셨던 것 같아요. (Seeing how well that old man cooks, it seems he was a chef in the past.)
  • 뉴스를 보니 우리가 어제 지나간 교통 사고가 많이 심한 사고였던 것 같아요. (Seeing the news, it seems that the accident we passed yesterday was a really serious accident.)

PRESENT: -인 것 같다

  • 재우 씨의 스타일을 보면 미술가인 것 같아요. (If you look at Jaewoo’s style, it seems like he’s an artist.)
  • 오늘의 메뉴는 불고기인 것 같아요. (It seems today’s menu is bulgogi.)

FUTURE: -일 것 같다

  • 내일은 좋은 날일 것 같아요! (It seems like like tomorrow will be a good day!)
  • 그 영화는 아이들이 많이 좋아할 영화일 것 같아요. (It seems like that movie will be one that children will like a lot.)


Happy studying~

You’re On (Sirius Black x Slytherin Reader)

“Can you please write a real fluffy sirius x slytherin reader imagine? Where they hate each other at first but as the years go by they come to like each other? REALLY like each other haha. Thank you for your amazing writings btw I am obsessed xx” omg thank you so much!!! i loved this prompt and i hope it exceeds expectations! xx

You sighed as you felt a raindrop land on your forehead as you looked up to the skies, you were supposed to be getting ready for Quidditch practice, but seeing as how it was starting to rain you almost skipped out but you knew that the rest of your team would hex you if you did. I’m so over this childish rivalry, I just wanna be wrapped up in my blankets…

You had an upcoming match with none other than Gryffindor, as a Slytherin you were less than thrill because this meant extra practices, which meant less free time for naps. Nevertheless, you mounted your broom and started doing some laps as you waited for the rest of your team.

“Say, Y/N, if you fall, would you land on your feet?” a voice called out from the bleachers. You rolled your eyes and flipped off Sirius Black with your hand that was also holding your bat. Just great, you thought, he here to watch your team’s practice with his little posse, and the rest of the Gryffindor team. It wasn’t unusual for the other team to come and watch their competition during practice, it was mostly annoying because they would try to distract them, and now that Sirius was there with them, it meant that you would be his number one target.

You and Sirius were both in the same year, but you had never gotten along with the long haired boy, even when you were little, you two would bicker endlessly, driving both of your mother’s crazy. You were the only child from a very prominent pure blood family, and just like Sirius’s family, blood status was incredibly important to your parents. You remember watching Sirius’s sorting ceremony, how you gasped when he was sorted into Gryffindor whereas you safely sat next with the rest of the important heirs of pure blood families at the Slytherin table.

As far as you could recall, your years at Hogwarts with Sirius were less than amicable.

First year was spent throwing dirty glances towards one another, bumping into their shoulder a little too harshly when walking down the hall and of course, nicknaming each other some ridiculous named that would leave both parties grinding their teeth. He dubbed you Princess of Slytherin, and how you hated it. To get even with him, you call him Goldie Locks. That was four years ago, you were both currently in your fifth year both those names still annoyed you both to the core.

During second year nothing much had changed between the two of you, it wasn’t until third year after spending a summer vacation with the Black family and yours in the country side for a week that Sirius decided to make your life a living hell, and you retaliated.

You were coming back from Quidditch try outs, feeling particularly confident in yourself and how it went. You were turning down a hallway when suddenly there was a loud explosion and the air around you was a very bright and powdery green; you looked down at your hands and you noticed that they were also bright green. You were speechless, completely confused at what had happened before you heard laughter.

“James, don’t you think the Slytherin Princess looks lovely?” Sirius bragged to James, coming down the opposite side of the hallway.

“Sirius Orion Black, you have ten bloody seconds to get this off of me or I’ll hex you so hard, your great grandchildren will feel it.” you hissed, pinching the bridge of your nose.

“Hmm, I don’t know Princess, green really suits you.” before you could threaten him again he ran down the hallway, James following behind as you were left fuming and green.

 

“Oi, watch where you’re going.” You growled as Sirius bumped into you after Potions.

“And if I don’t? what are you gonna do? Run to mummy and daddy?” he taunted, you scoffed at him.

“What makes you think I’ll willingly talk about your slimy ways with them? We only associate with pure bloods.” you sneered. He said nothing more and left with a dark look on his handsome face. Truth be told, you hated the whole ‘pure blood’ argument, but if it meant getting Sirius off your back for a moment or two, you would swallow your pride and preach a sermon that you’ve always hated. Sirius had embarrassed you countless of times and it was time for you to give him a dose of his own medicine.

During your fourth year, you briefly dated Lucius Malfoy and that seemed to make Sirius go out of his way to intentionally bother you more than before. You would find your books disappearing from your dorm, robes that were discolored and once you spent a whole week with green hair thanks to his prank.

It wasn’t until Lucius ended things with you that the pranks and glares briefly stopped. After the break up, the marauders noticed how Sirius would glance at you more often and how he wouldn’t have a weekly prank just for you.

Sirius had developed feelings for you. He stopped with the cruel pranks, in fact, the last prank that he played on you was transforming into his animagus form. He literally came barreling into the Slytherin common room, grabbed your freshly done Transfigurations essay and ran off with it. You had to fight a dog for your essay and the dog won, ripping it apart. Needless to say, McGonagall didn’t believe you when you told her a dog ate your homework.

By the end of your fourth year, you were beginning to see the messy haired boy as less of a nuance, he didn’t prank you like he used to so now you found his pranks and jokes endearing.

Which brings you back to now, fifth year.

“I can’t believe you dragged us out here just so you could stare at Y/N.” Remus muttered to Sirius as they marauders held to their rain jackets tightly.

“Oh shut up, Moony, a little rain never hurt anyone.”

“Seriously, just ask her out already, you both seem to be mature enough to handle each other outside of a duel without killing each other.”

“Very funny, Prongs, and no, I don’t want to ruin what we have.”

“I wouldn’t consider death glares in between classes something to cherish…” Remus said.

“How about this, if Y/N doesn’t knock out Lucius with a Bludger, I’ll ask her out.”

“Aw come on, you know she dated the git and still has some pent up aggression towards him, it’ll be a miracle if Lucius comes out of this practice without a bruise from Y/N.” James pointed out, but nevertheless, they shook hands with Sirius.

“If you don’t fulfill your end of the bet you have to cut your hair. All of it.” James smirked as Sirius’s eyes widened.

Much to his displeasure, Lucius managed out of practice unscathed. The Marauders pointed towards you as you made your way across the field and towards the locker room. He nervously made his way to you, this was not how he planned asking you out but a bet is a bet and he loved his hair dearly.

You were heading towards the locker room when a hand grabbed your shoulder, making you turn around.

“I guess you’re getting better at blocking me out, huh?” Sirius asked with a smirk.

“I’m in it to win it.” you shrugged.

“How about we make this game a little more interesting…” he trailed off.  You arched an eyebrow, prompting him to go on.

“If Gryffindor wins, you have to go on a date with me.” He declared.

“Is this some sort of joke? Listen if it’s because of what I said last year about being a scum and all that other pureblood nonsense, I’m truly sorry.” You apologized, you saw the look of surprise on his face.

“Wow, I can’t believe you still remember that, I mean I knew you didn’t mean it but that truly showed why you were sorted there, you’re cunning and know how to use your ‘opponent’s’ weakness against them.” He said, rubbing the back of his neck. You stifled a laugh.

“I never thought I’d see the day when Sirius Black admitted that I’m smarter than him.” You said good-naturally. He simply shrugged.

“So what do you say?” he asked.

“I swear to Merlin, if this is a joke…”

“I promise you, Y/N, this is not a joke. Cross my heart and hope to die.”

“Alright Black, you’re on.” You shook hands and felt a spark of electricity as your hand connected with his. Little did you know he felt the same thing.

“Come on let’s get you into something dry, I want to win this fair and square.” He said leading you inside the castle.

The days leading up the match were some of the most nerve wracking ones you’ve ever lived. Part of you was confused on these new found feelings for Sirius and the rest of you was hoping that Gryffindor would win.

You began to notice Sirius more and more; how his eyes would crinkle when he laughed or how he would doodle on the corner of his parchment during Charms. More than once you caught him staring at you which prompted you to blush. Who would’ve thought you would be crushing on your former enemy, but I guess it’s true what they say, people change.

The day of the match finally arrived and your team was ready to win, the game began and the stakes were set high. You wanted to win just to rub it in their faces but at the same time you did wanted to go on a date with Sirius.

The game was one of the closest ones you’ve ever played, you were currently tied and the rest of your team were basically praying for your Seeker to catch the Snitch, but lo and behold, Gryffindor catches the Snitch and wins the match.

Your team congratulated them bitterly, although Lucius flat out refused to acknowledge their victory. The field was soon filled with the rest of the students, a sea of green and scarlet running towards both teams, congratulations and laments were exchanged.

Amidst the commotion you didn’t notice Sirius coming up behind you, a pair of strong arms circled around your frame and spun you around.

“I believe you owe me a date.” Sirius exclaimed as he set you down, grinning. You laughed merrily. You looked up at him and acting on the rush of adrenaline from the game, you stood on your tip toes and kissed him softly. You could tell he was surprised but without missing a beat, he kissed you back, cupping your face with his hands.

You both broke apart after a few moments, smiling at each other.

I guess you were the first Slytherin to ever be thankful for losing a match against Gryffindor.

Things I associate with the houses:

Slytherin: the sharp clicking of heels, scribbled signatures, carless smirks, winks, coffee with whipped cream cause you need the sugar, running purely of adrenaline and drive, “sleep is for the weak”, not giving a damn about the status quo, plotting murder against donald trump, always having an escape plan, twitter fights because this person is just bugging me today, knowing exactly who you’d die for, playing music too loud then turing it down because “damn now i’ve got a headache”, not trusting perfect,so much sarcasm,“i’ve got it covered not really” just slytherin things.

Hufflepuff: laughing till your stomach hurts, baking brownies, refusing to swear, flipping the bird at the backs of authority, “but that’s unfair!”, helping a blind man, volunteering, hating something about someone but being two polite to say it to their face, feminism, trusting to much, spending all your money on sweets, “its not their fault”, little to no patience, rushing homework because “i was having too much fun, laughing at their own joking, so many dad jokes, sleeping in, “I’m so sorry professor my dog ate my homework”, all the puns, cheesy grins and lazy smiles, “I am not a hipster i swear”, actually waiting until their old enough to get tumblr, “i’m only breaking the rules because there stupid rules. just hufflepuff things.

Ravenclaw: endless pages of doodles, writing until your hands sore, being the teachers pet but hating said teacher, getting away with everything, literally pulling out hair from stress, stress eating, saying important things in a casual manner, knowing all the disney songs, “gosh darn i forgot my luncheon”,  losing your library card, “I’m not fit enough to cary all theses books!”, all the cute animals, writing publishable fanfiction, “its technically not a lie…”, overachievers, purposely failing classes because there boring, “bORing”, eye rolls, nutella addictions, running purely of caffeine, colour coded everything, new phones, overdue books, charming smiles, long answers, rainy inside days, just ravenclaw things.

Gryffindor: “i would but I don’t like you”, friendship bracelets, crushes, “come on it’ll be fun”, truth or dare, hangovers, dancing in the rain, hugs, “I’m about as straight as the amazon river”, flirty winks, running till you can’t, lights in your eyes, humming kpop, fighting over stupid stuff, internet famous, possessiveness, singing around a bonfire, extrovert, 2 steps ahead of the trends, wishing on shooting stars, “i’ll prove it!”, running out of charge, perfect makeup or no makeup, “but we’re just friends?”, making yourself full on sweets, mephobia, “what could go wrong?”, just meeting deadlines, blue lips and smiles, binge watching, funny faces, short skirts, curled hair, odd talents, grins. just gryffindor things.
 

Dreamland

Anon: Hi! Erm I was wondering if you could do a sister Winchester story were one of her brothers accidentally knocks her out during training and while she’s out she has a like a weird dream (completely up to you) and when she wakes up she’s face to face with her brothers and is slightly freaked out//just starts laughing but soon complains about the pain?¿? Sorry it’s long lol I love your writing!!

Nonnie, this was tons of fun to write! Thank you for the idea! As always, feel free to comment with your thoughts. I could really use some constructive criticism.

Summary: Sam Winchester, your brother, accidentally knocks you out during a sparring session. While unconscious, you take a very interesting trip to dreamland…

Warnings: None

Tags: @the-third-winchester-warrior @winchesters-favorite-girl @lil-sister-winchester @jensen-jarpad @sister-winchester-imagines

The air is pervaded with the lovely stench of sweat. BO wafts through the air of the simple training room Dean had set up. A mat lies in the center of the room serving as a safe sparring area. And on that mat, circling each other, are you and your brother, Sam Winchester, both of you holding taped fists in front of your faces. You are locked in yet another combat training session that had lasted for longer than you wanted. Covered in sweat and some new bruises, you’re ready to end this fight.

“C’mon, Sam. You’re not scared to hit a girl, are you?” you taunt.

“I’m not the one who’s been circling for the past few minutes,” Sam retorts back.

You grin peevishly. “Sorry, what was that? Can’t hear you from down here. Your head’s too far up in the clouds! Watch out for any passing planes, Godzilla!”

“Look who’s talking, shrimpy.”

“Hey, Being fun-sized has its advantages. For instance, I can do this!” You dive between Sam’s legs, spring up behind him, and wrap your arms and legs tightly around his torso before he can react. You tighten your grip on his neck. “What’cha gonna do about that, huh?”

Sam’s voice comes out a little strangled. “Just this.” He rolls on the ground so suddenly, you release your grip in shock. Sam stands back up, placing a foot on your chest. “Take that, squirt.”

“Oh, you’re gonna regret that one, moose man.” You drive your hands into Sam’s ankle, twist, and throw him all in one motion. Sam loses balance and falls to the ground while you get to your own feet. You raise your fists again.

“Bring it on, Goliath.”

Sam does something completely unexpected. He launches himself up, throwing his whole body into a punch aimed for your face. You side step and respond with a pleasant right hook to his face. Sam staggers backward a little.

“How’s that for a taste of your own-”

Your cocky remark is cut off by Sam’s fist slamming into the side of your left temple: a perfect knockout punch. You feel weightless as you slam to the mat on the floor, watching everything go dark.

You start swimming up through bright green water. You see a bright sun just up above your head. Instinct tells you to start going in that direction. You break through the surface of the water, only you’re not up anymore. Rather, the water is the sky and the clouds and light are the ground. You drop down into a fluffy bed of a pink cotton cloud. You shred a piece and pop it in your mouth. Cotton candy. Yum. You look around to get an idea of your surroundings. Even in your dream life, your hunting skills kick in. Usually, your dreams were filled with faces of past hunts, nightmares of monsters, the normal PTSD-esque effects of being a hunter. The last time dreamland was like this, you were around 7 years old.

“BLAAAAARGH!!” You turn around suddenly, prepping your dream self to be chased by whatever fictional beast was after you. Right on schedule. But what you saw was surprising even for your mind. Up, towering above you, was a giant version of your brother, Sam, his long hair even longer than usual and moose antlers sticking out from the top of his head. Great big moose legs erupted from beneath his torso, like a Greek satyr. Only with moose legs.

Just when you think it couldn’t get any stranger, out on the shoulder of Moose-Man popped a mini version of Dean. Before you can even comprehend the obscurity of this new development, he starts chittering rather than talking. And a squirrel tail pops out behind him.

“Ooookayyyy…..this one is new.” You reach into your back pocket, expecting to find your normal dream weaponry. A knife, a gun, an angel blade, sword, you have a bit of a versatile inventory normally.

You got an ostrich.

But, hey. Whatever works. You chuck it at Moose-Man and Squirrel-Boy. It kind of explodes in a fury of feathers. You think. You heard some very indignant squawking followed by the sound of soft flapping, similar to when Cas appears. You turn and start running. Well, jumping from cloud to cloud, but same thing. You sort of lunar landing jump from blue cotton candy cloud to pink cotton candy cloud, hearing angry squirrel chittering and mad moose bellowing. You don’t dare look back, lest you start dying of laughter. Or getting squashed by Sam the Moose-Man’s giant hooves. Or dying of laughter while getting squished by Sam the Moose-Man’s giant hooves.

Either option doesn’t sound too good to dream you.

The heavy thudding of Moose-Man’s footsteps is louder than Kansas tornadoes.You keep running, fearing the prospect of falling behind. But it feels like you’re stuck in slow motion. Legs like jello, you try and try and try to move. Sprint. Crawl. Fly. Anything to get you away. More angry squirrel chatters tell you the mutant version of Dean is closing in on you. You turn your head an impossibly 180 degrees to see what-in-the-name-of-Chuck is going on.

As if it couldn’t get any weirder. Squirrel-Boy now has Wolverine claws erupting from his adorable little furry front paws. He raises one hand up, ready to shred you like a cheese grater. So, you react normally: talking your way out of it. You raise your hands in front of your body, saying the first thing on your dream-addled mind.

“I DON’T SPEAK SQUIRREL!!!”

Furry Dean chitters at you confused. The razor sharp blades from his paws shethe themselves. “CRCRCRCKRRK RKERKRRKCRKCEKR?”

“No hablo Squirrel-o,” you respond, a little desperately.

“KRCERCKEKRK.” Dean scurries up a newly appearing tree with…pie leaves? The towering plant has a trunk of stacked aluminum pie tins, sort of like a palm tree, and up at the top, spreading out from everything, sat steaming, fresh-baked pies of every kind. Squirrel-Boy curls up to where the ‘leaves’ meet together. He snatches the nearest pecan pie and starts munching on it happily.

You brush off cotton candy from your pants. “Well, that takes of Dean. So, what about-” A giant roar interrupts the rest of your sentence, but, hey, you get your answer. “There’s Sam…”

You look up. Sure enough, there’s the demented, furry version of your older brother. You do not hesitate to even try and throw a weapon at him this time. You just turn tail and RUN.

Dreamland really sucks. In the midst of your running, an orange, black winged, guinea pig with Cas’s face pops up in the middle of your path. Being the subconscious dream klutz you are, of course you trip on it. You twist your body and fall straight on your back. The guinea pig of Cas uses his miniature black wings to fly away from you.

Just as you turn your head to watch the fuzzy guinea pig leave, another noise snaps your head back to where it was.

“RAAAAAAARRRRGH!!!” Moose-Man Sam raises one of his giant moose hooves and slams it down on your face-

You sit up, cold sweat dripping off your face. You pretty much immediately regret it though. The pain on the left side of your head hurts to high heaven. You unintentionally gasp out, raising one hand to feel the damage.

“Y/N?” You’re pulled into a great big hug from a brother you hadn’t noticed sat beside you. You recognize who it is immediately.

“Sam.”

You notice you’re in your bedroom in the Bunker, soft blankets pressing against the bottom of your arms. Sam sits on the side of your bed.

“I’m so sorry, Y/N. I didn’t mean to go full force on you.”

“Damn right you didn’t. I’m refereeing all your sparring matches from now on.” You hear the gruff, but caring tone of your other brother from elsewhere in the room.

“When you went down, I panicked. We couldn’t wake you up, so we brought you to your room. Dean and I were about ready to take you - what are you laughing about?”

You start laughing hard and loud. Your dream had been so crazy that to actually hear Sam and Dean sends you into a fit of laughter. You couldn’t have been laughing harder if you were sprayed with the Joker’s laughing gas.

“Y/N? What is it??” Dean sounds so confused in the corner of your room. You remember how he was up the pie tree. His voice only stirs you into a deeper laughing spree.

“What?! What’d I say??” Dean shrugs at Sam, both brothers past confusion.

“No hablo Squirrel-o!” you giggle out, quoting your dream self.

“That’s it. Sammy, we’re getting her to a hospital now.”

“Heheheheheh-owowowowowow.” Your laughing turns to painful wincing at the pain in your head. You rub your severely bruised head. “I’m fine, guys.”

Dean looks at you with more incredulity than a teacher who hears the ‘my-dog-ate-my-homework’ excuse. “Uh-huh. Sam, pick her up. I’ll warm up the car. We’re getting your head checked.”

“Ah, Dean. C’mon, man. It was one punch! I’m fine!” you protest. You start to get out of bed, but you immediately trip. Sam catches you before you faceplant on the floor.

“Woah! Yep. We’re taking you to the doctor. C’mon.” Sam hauls you up off the ground and wraps your arm around his shoulder. “Can you walk at all?”

You experimentally place one foot on the ground. “Maybe…” You slip again. “Nope.”

“All right.” Sam scoops your legs up. “What the heck was that about?” he asks you as he carries you up to the door outside.

Your head is lolling around a bit more than you’d like it to, still hurting bad. “I had the weirdest dream, man…” You half giggle when you remember bits and pieces. “I threw an ostrich at your Moose face.”

“Aaaand you’re done.”

High School Sentence Starters
  1. “I did it! I’m graduating!”
  2. “Any interest in joining a school club this year?”
  3. “I refuse to be late for class. Pick up your feet and move!”
  4. “I think someone in my class is being bullied. What do I do?”
  5. “My dog ate my homework. Yes, I’m serious.”
  6. “What’s that you’re listening to? Can I listen?”
  7. “How do you have straight A’s if you don’t study?”
  8. “Do you want my lunch? I’m not hungry anymore.”
  9. “Could I borrow a pencil?”
  10. “This teacher’s the worst. Can we skip this class today?”
  11. “Stand up to them! Those jerks will only bully you more if you don’t speak your mind.”
  12. “School uniforms are for losers.”
  13. “I’ll fight you for the Valedictorian position.”
  14. “I don’t… understand this question. Can you help?”
  15. “Hey, can I copy your notes?”
  16. “This cafeteria food is disgusting. Can I have some of yours?”
  17. “We had homework?”
  18. “Please kill me before this exam. Please.”
  19. “You’re such a teacher’s pet.”
  20. “The prom’s coming up. Do you want to go as my date?”
  21. “If I just throw myself from this window, do you think I can get out of this essay?”
  22. “Meet me outside the school. I have something to show you.”
  23. “I’m not going to school today. Wanna go to the mall with me?”
On Trump's Batshit Interview Today with Lester Holt

This is the “dog ate my homework” Presidency.

Dumb excuses, no learning, bad lying.

The ineptitude would be comical IF NOT FOR ALL THE FASCISM.

Keep calling, texting, and emailing your U.S. Senators and Congressional Representatives, urging them not to cooperate with Trump on anything at all, ever.

The man is both compromised by a foreign adversary and out-of-his-skull, dangerously batshit.

I firmly believe we’ll get him impeached. The GOP soon must run their midterm campaigns tethered to the least popular POTUS in modern history. Which will force them to go down with him or finally speak up and distance themselves from a traitorous monster.

The Boomers brought down Vice President Spiro Agnew and President Nixon AND ended the Vietnam War.

We can bring down the Furor.

Separation Anxiety

I tried to do the formatting  @mustardyellowsunshine recommended. Here is my response for prompt 2. These prompts evoke me to keep the storyline set in canon for whatever reason.  I also embrace the fact that Inuyasha is descended from a dog youkai, especially with the line “Did you seriously just______?“

 Thanks for reading.

Summary: Kagome’s got some studying to do, of course. But, Inuyasha makes it difficult for her, but what are his motivations, really? 



“I have a lot of studying to do. So just go back to the Feudal era and wait for me.”


“Why do I gotta go back?”

“Inuyasha, school is my top priority!”

“I know that! You’ve only told me a million times.”

“So, why do I have to keep telling you!”

“You don’t! You’ve been spending more time with school–”

“You’ll just keep distracting me.”

Inuyasha sighed, defeated. His ears and shoulders drooped. He looked crestfallen for only a second as these thoughts raced through his head. His temper bubbled up. He was scowling and opened his mouth with a smack so he could angrily spat: “Fine! You better be ready in the three days you say! I’m not gonna be sittin’ around waitin’!” In a flash he was out the window.

     On the other side of the well, he sulked and huffed back to the village. His hands were fisted at his side and he practically stomped back. Hadn’t she said she wanted to stay by his side? Sure she had exams coming up, but what else was new, why was she sending him away?

“Inuyasha, I thought you were staying with Kagome?” Sango asked, surprised to see him.

“She made you come back, didn’t she?” Shippo teased.

“Shut up!” He shouted with a growl as he pushed past Sango, Kirara and Shippo.

“Wait, Inuyasha!” The young woman called. “What?!” He whipped around and snapped. “Since you’re back, could we train?

“Where’s Miroku?” His golden eyes darted around searching. “He went off with Hachi.”

“Keh! Let’s do this then.”

    Combatting with Sango helped pass the time, plus he actually enjoyed it. But, after getting knocked on his ass a few times, he and the demon slayer were getting fed up. “Get your head in the game!” She scolded. “I haven’t even used Hiraikotsu and I want to face Tetsusaiga.” “Good to know you got a strategy.” He grunted as he pushed himself up.
    He leapt at her, unleashing Tetsusaiga. She blocked his strike, the hidden blade at her wrist ripping out. He knew she had another in her other wrist and she’d try to kick him, so he jumped back. She grabbed Hiraikotsu, just a roll away from her. She swung the heavy weapon and let it fly, climbing onto Kirara to catch it after Inuyasha ducked to avoid it. “You’re predictable!” He criticized. “So are you! You’re thinking to use the Wind Scar now!” She shot back.

“Dammit!” Inuyasha’s voice echoed. As soon as Miroku got back, he went to go mope alone up in a tree.

     The next two days were spent hunting, cooking, sleeping, training, and talking with his friends. He even spent some time by Kaede as she worked in her herb garden.

Finally, it was time to get Kagome.


(-)

“Aren’t you ready to go yet?”

“Hear me out,” Kagome began as soon as Inuyasha entered her room. “I have an important assignment due tomorrow, which is Friday.”

“Aw c’mon!” As if the day of the week meant anything to him.

“Now, wait. You can stay here with me while I work.” She offered with a smile. He crossed his arms.

“But, if it’s not this assignment, it’s the next one, Kagome.”

“I just have to get this one done and turn it in.” She said, waving the paper in front of her. “I don’t know why this is bothering you so much!” She gestured wildly, arms out at her sides and the paper flapping with the movement.

“Because it just does, okay? You’re always doing something: training with Kaede, archery practice, school stuff, family and friends here, and hunting down Naraku with us.”

“All of that is important to me!”

“I know, dammit!”

“I manage to do all of it, don’t I?” The wind blew in from the window, causing the paper in her hand to flutter in her hands. Inuyasha had had enough and leapt forward, chomping down on the corner of the paper, tearing off the corner.

“Did you seriously just eat my homework?!” Kagome exclaimed with wide eyes.

Inuyasha sat indignantly with his head turned to the side, nose stuck up in the air, scowl marring his features. He sat in a squat with his arms between his legs, fingers curled mimicking paws.

    She started laughing. The musical sound filling his ears and softening his heart. She figured he had no idea about the cliche excuse of ‘my dog ate my homework.’ And didn’t want to make him feel worse, so she just laughed. He’d said in the past not to treat him like a dog, but when he acted like one it was hard not to.

    She finally composed herself and walked over to him. He didn’t move away, only flinched when she put a hand on his head and knelt down beside him. She stroked one of his ears. She was a little surprised he let her. “Inuyasha, how can I make it up to you?”

That got his attention and he turned to look the woman he promised to protect in the face. “You said you wanted to stay by my side. Just do that.” He answered, his eyes shifting to look at the floor, a blush crossing his cheek.

“Is that was this was about the whole time?” She asked, realization dawning on her. “If you wanted to spend time with me, why didn’t you just say so?” “Feh! As if I could!”

Kagome sat down beside him on the floor and leaned on his shoulder, “I’m sorry. My attention has been focused elsewhere lately.” She cuddled in closer to him, her side conforming to his. After a minute, he rested his cheek on top of her head.

We got interrupted last time, he thought, taking her hand in his. She looked up at him as he was leaning in.

    Their lips finally met. She kissed him back gingerly. His lips glided over hers. His head moved to the side to gain better access. She was too shy to move with him.

    His arms snaked around her waist and pulled her closer to him. He parted her lips with the tip of his tongue, dipping her backward a bit as one hand wound in her hair. His tongue disappeared as quickly as he’d slipped it out, still shy himself, but her taste was also overwhelming his senses. She was letting him touch her, he didn’t want to scare her off.

    He broke the kiss and peered into her glistening eyes, planting a brief yet moist peck on her pouty lips. “You better get to work,” he suggested. Her eyes widened and she frowned: speechless.

    “I’m not going anywhere.”  He assured as he sat back. She smiled and looked down, cheeks visibly blushing. “Well, I have to rewrite this page even if you hadn’t bitten it,” she waved it side to side beside him. The paper was wrinkled, she’d crumpled it during the kiss. “I’ll just get my book and come back next to you to do my work.”

     He sat quietly watching her. Her cheeks flushing now and then cuz he was staring at her. They bickered about that, but he’d told her if she focused on her task then she wouldn’t notice. She’d handed him some photo albums for him to look through to keep him occupied.

       She got her assignment done, but not much other studying. She could hardly concentrate with him breathing down her neck, literally. She decided to take a break, leaning back against him. He nuzzled her neck with his nose.

     “Your nose is damp!” She giggled. “Keh!” He turned away, embarrassed. She grabbed him by the forelocks gently to pull him back down to her, rising to her knees to rub her nose on his. She ran her fingers through his hair as she did so. “Let’s go to bed.” She murmured.  “Wh-what, Kagome?”

     Kagome flicked off the light, the moonlight illuminating her room. She took him by the hand. “Just lay with me and hold me.” She whispered. He sat beside her on the bed. “Are you sure?” He asked, turning to look at her. “I said I’d make it up to you. Besides, I have to get up early for school, then we can get back to the others and continue our quest.”  “Yeah.” He nodded in agreement.  

     He stayed awake, watching her sleep. She looked so peaceful and content in his arms. That’s how he wanted her to always be.

    And later, after they were separated for three years and she’d returned; all that time apart and unsure if she’d ever return. He’d played over and over in his head a thousand times what he would do when she got back.

    But, then everyone excited she was back. He couldn’t hardly get alone time with her, but he couldn’t even be mad.

     Once they were alone, they’d picked up right where they’d left off. He didn’t want to spend another moment apart from her. Ever. That’s how they’d ended up married.

    She lay in his arms every night. Even when he and Miroku had to go away from a village, they’d make up for the time they were apart.

     Then, when they had kids and he had to compete for her attention, she’d always make it up to him. It taught him patience, sorta.

     Looking at his sleeping family now, even having to leave their side for a few days to go make a living to make sure they were taken care of, yeah, it was all worth it.  

-0-0-0-0-The End-0-0-0- @hireikotsu and I had a fun conversation fangirling over Inuyasha’s wet nose. I had to include that detail here. Lol