doesnt change me

4

this love is o u r s

“Lost in the forest of this heart
You saw me in new light
And I saw you
Sheltered by the night“ ~ Slow Life, Of Monsters and Men

Excuse me while I try to share a loving fanart after the hilarity of ch. 121

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“The FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST Nendoroid series is not done yet! Next to join the line-up is Riza Hawkeye! #FMA #nendoroid”

[ image description: A screen shot of a post that reads “Don’t cross oceans for people who wouldn’t cross a puddle for you.” Someone has crossed this out with a big grey X and underneath added “No, do it. Do cross oceans for people. Love people, all people. No conditions attached, no wondering whether or not they’re worthy. Cross oceans, climb mountains. Life and love isn’t about what you gain, it’s about what you give.” End of descripton ]

I hate this post, I hate it so much. And let me tell you why.

At first it seems like a pretty good post, right? You should love people and do things for them because you want to or because it’s nice, or just because you love them, not because you expect something in return. Yeah. We learn that as kids. But listen. Listen to me. It is not that simple. Yes you should do nice things for people. Carry in your grandmother’s grocerys even if she forgets to say thank you. Sure. But you should never, never, pour yourself into someone who does not give back to you.

Doing everything for someone who gives you nothing in return is not love.

A friend of mine worded it really well “The point of the original post was to emphasise that your own mental/physical health is more important than someone’s selfish needs.” It’s not romantic to run yourself into the ground for someone who can’t even be bothered to care about you. And not only is it not romantic, it’s unhealthy.

I have, on more than one occasion, “crossed oceans” for people who I do believe loved me, but who didn’t even come close to crossing them for me. And do you know what I got out of that? The first one I lost 10 pounds because I was so miserable I could barely eat and I was throwing up what I did eat. And I was still doing whatever I could to be with them, and make them happy, even though they didn’t seem to be willing to put any work in themself. Why bother, I was always there. The second one I ran my own mental health so thin that that literally could not do anything for him, all I could do is sit in the bathtub and think about how I coudln’t feel anything. But I still refused to turn my phone off and ignore his messages. I still made myself avaible to him because he “needed me.”

There was nothing romantic about either of those situations (note: only one was a romantic relationship but the idea of giving and giving and giving when you’re gettin nothing back is romanticized whether it’s in a romantic or platonic relationship.) There was nothing beautiful or selfless about it. It was miserable. I was miserable. I can remember one of my friends telling me he missed me because all I could talk about was the person I had allowed to become my whole life.

And in the end, both of them stopped talking to me.

Don’t believe anyone when they say the second part of that post. It’s bullshit and I’m really tired of seeing it romanticized. It tells people (especailly young girls) that this is an okay way for a relationship to be, that this is what they should be doing. 

There is nothing selfish about demanding that your emotional labour be reciprocated. That’s what makes a relationship (romantic, platonic, or otherwise) healthy. That’s what love is. Both people giving. Both people supportin each other. Not one person giving until they have nothing left for themself. 

if you have a friend, family member, or S/O with bpd please read this

if you don’t plan on talking to them once a day every single day, don’t let the habit start.

if you don’t plan on hanging out with them a certain amount of times a week, don’t let the habit start.

if you don’t plan on saying goodnight to them every night or good morning to them every morning, don’t let the habit start.

because if you go from talking to someone every day to suddenly talking to them every other day or not talking to them as much per day than you used to, we’re going to notice.

we’re going to notice the change in routine and it’s going to fucking kill us.

we’re going to think you hate us because “why would they stop doing this thing they always did with us if they DONT hate us??”

dont get people with bpd into a routine and then suddenly break it. dont do that to us. dont fucking do that to us.

Hachidraws >>> Kurageclear

been debating on doing this for a while now n_n it’s been my twitter URL for a few years and I’ve been meaning to make them match, so now they do!

I can’t help but be a bit sad whenever I see posts saying that Bakugo isn’t a hero, that he’s been nothing but mean to everyone, etc. Yeah, he’s far from being a 100% likable character (for most people?) but he isn’t a villain and he isn’t just a bully. I think he has a different way with dealing with his personal issues and doesn’t care whether people like him for who he truly is or not. He does what he sees fit, acknowledges and even cares for people in his own way. I’m not defending any wrongs he has done before cause I know that Bakugo has done pretty shitty things like bullying and many more. But that isn’t all there is to him. I admire him for being so passionate and giving his absolute best in everything even if he comes off a bit too intense. HE WANTS TO BECOME A HERO. Just because he isn’t all smiles all the time doesn’t mean he can’t do and be good. He has this drive; this fire raging within him. I think the manga has more than proven that he’s slowly changing. HE’S GONNA BE AN AMAZING HERO. I BELIEVE IN BAKUGO KATSUKI.

unpopular opinion maybe but….ok i think rick and morty is funny but i’m annoyed that it’s validating the typical asshole manchild geek who thinks he’s smarter than everyone else and doesn’t need to care about developing emotional intelligence  

sorry i haven’t been drawing as much, its probably because i foolishly bought another copy of animal crossing to make a faerie-themed town

confession time: I slap pastel on everything. even the things that arent supposed to be in pastel

(thank you @novembon for the request and the kind words!!! I’m glad you enjoy what Ive got on my blog. hope this reigen trying to be cool suits your taste.)

this request post predicts the pastel apocalypse. find out how the world will end right here

Fleur Delacour is the only person who has ever touched Hermione Granger’s hair without getting turned into a cactus. 

also? I think drag race has become a little too formulaic and the queens know what to expect now. I really want them to shake up the format somehow and throw these queens for a loop next season.