doesn't have to be funny

some American: Happy 4th of July! What are you going to be doing today?

me: oh uh I don’t really celebrate 4th of July actually.

some American: (shocked): REALLY? Then what do you do all day then? 

Me: 

The signs as weird things I've seen on google
  • Aries: I think I just had a poop child. I legit think I lost 4 kilos.
  • Taurus: Are there people who are sexually attracted to Pokémon?
  • Gemini: I hate it when I'm studying and a velociraptor throws bananas at me.
  • Cancer: I just went outside and heard someone boo. Update: it was my wife.
  • Leo: NEVER PUT A SOCK IN A TOASTER.
  • Virgo: Can Jesus microwave a burrito?
  • Libra: What are these strawberries doing on my nipples I need them for my fruit salad.
  • Scorpio: I like to tape my thumbs together and pretend I'm a dinosaur- what did you expect? Some freaky bondage? Nah my mum doesn't approve of that soz.
  • Capricorn: What do I do if a ginger kid bites me?
  • Sagittarius: What would a chair look like if your knees were bend the other way?
  • Aquarius: Why can't I own a dwarf Chinese person?
  • Pisces: Sometimes when I'm alone I pretend I'm a carrot.
3

Circumstances can improve

8

but then again…neither have i

being asexual is seen as “too straight” by the LGBT+ community and “too gay” for straight people. the truth is, we are neither. if straight people are “as straight as a line” and gay people are “straight like a circle”, then we’re as straight as the void. sexual attraction? i don’t even know her. you are seriously in the wrong place if you’re looking for an instant sexual connection. don’t try to “””fix””” us we’re good. keep moving please.

2

#well that plan definitely backfired

anonymous asked:

Do you have a list of funny YOI fics? Doesn't need to have much as long as it makes me laugh!!!

I love a good laugh! I have read SO many hilarious fics, here are a few of them where I was dying from laughing so hard!

(The gif was made by @nikiforoov! Thank you!!)


Humor


Bottom’s Up by cryingoverspilledvodka, lucycamui, Teen, 4.3k
At the Grand Prix banquet, Victor’s been asked to sign an autograph for a very enthusiastic fan. Unfortunately, there’s a distinct lack of paper around. Fortunately, Yuuri has a suggestion. This is the best thing I have ever read, I’m still screaming HHAHHAHAHAHA

Amateur or Expert by Watermelonsmellinfellon, Teen, 1.9k
AU where Yuuri is a ice skating instructor and Victor is thirsty for him and will do whatever it takes for Yuuri to get to know him. Even if that means pretending to not know how to skate at all, even though he’s a five-time world champion. VERY cute, lots of fluff, and Victor is hilarious in this. Love!

better than sliced bread by ebenroot, Teen, 8.1k
in which we all assumed yuuri is the one to own a dakimakura but maybe that isn’t entirely the case. LMAOOOOO

Safety Hazards in St. Petersburg by lucycamui, Explicit, 3.7k
In which Yuuri moves in with Victor in St. Petersburg and Victor discovers just how distracting living with him can be. I LOVE THIS FIC SO MUCH OMG

#KissOrHug by Aurum, Gen, 2.2k
Yuuri and Victor make #Victuri trend worldwide. Phichit accidentally makes it worse. This is is SO cute, it’s a must read!

he was a sk8er boy she said see you l8er boy by bookybookworm, Teen, 14k (WIP)
pika+chu: hello friends
katsudon-yuri: ummm
katsudon-yuri: what is this
pika+chu: this, young yuri, is a group chat

i’m just going to the store by bosbie, Teen, 7.2k
How Victor’s impulsiveness backfires and creates one of the greatest living internet memes to ever come out of Russia. THIS IS AMAZING HAHA

Habit by LFMH021, Teen, 2.8k
Yuuri has developed a habit. Before competitions, whenever he wants to concentrate and exercise at the same time, he faces the wall, braces his forearms on it and then wiggle his hips while trying to recite over and over again his routine. HAHAHAAHA

Turn Backwards on Go by inkwellstars, Not Rated, 5.3k
In which Yuuri and Victor, happily married and retired, find themselves thrown into the past and proceed to mess with everyone. One of the few time travel fics without angst. Super hilarious, too!

Katsuki Yuuri Fan Club by Katyaton, Teen, 2.2k
Yuuri has been adjusting well to life in St. Petersburg, making friends with the Russian skaters and slowly adapting to the new culture. When Viktor starts obsessing over something on his phone, though, Yuuri starts to worry. He suspects it’s something related to him and wants to find out what has Viktor so transfixed, but will the ensuing embarrassment be worth his curiosity? LOLOL

turn it, leave it, stop, format it by ebenroot, Explicit, 19k
“If you want, I can recommend you some security programs that you can download for free and protect your computer. That way, you won’t be at risk of losing these cute photos of your dog even when you browse websites like ‘Luscious Lonely Wives’.” Victor gives one long ‘haa’. “I don’t browse those websites,” he says through his straining smile. SO CUTE AND FUNNY! I love @ebenroot so much!!

lovesick by Ironinkpen, Teen, 2.7k
“Did the doctor send you?” When Yuuri doesn’t reply fast enough, since he’s still gaping like a fish, he turns to Yuri. “Did the doctor send him? Because wow,” He drops his arm and presses his hand to his chest like the dramatic bastard he is. “You’ve got to be the prettiest man I’ve ever seen.”
“Oh my god,” Yuri groans. “Is he hitting on you?” OH MY GOD I LOVE THIS FIC

The Goddamn Tie Has Got To Go by  Katyaton, Teen, 4.5k
Dear God. Yuuri was wearing the tie again.
The powdery blue monstrosity was not only unfashionable (and where did Yuuri even manage to acquire such a tie?), it also reminded Viktor, with shocking clarity, of a sweaty, half naked, pole dancing Yuuri. For the sake of his remaining dignity, Viktor needed to improvise a plan to dispose of it as soon as possible. You have to read this!

Sleep(talk) It Off by cerisecandy, Gen, 1.2k
Where Yuuri sleep-talks, Viktor remains awake and suffers, and another night passes at the Katsuki family inn. Lord have mercy I nearly died while reading this I was in stitches!!!

SkateSquad™ groupchat by stxmph, Teen, 50k (WIP)
(groupchat log of the skate squad) Rec’d by a follower!


If you have any more suggestions, feel free to reply to this post with your favourites!