does this look familiar to you

slavic languages gothic

You see a sentence written in cyrillic. Some of the letters are familiar. You see the meaning shimmering underneath the surface. You almost grasp it, but it slips away. The letters on the page mock you silently.

You know this Czech word. You’ve already learnt it in Polish. It is not the same word. It is a grave insult. Your slavic friends are shocked and embarassed for you when they hear you speak it.

There is a sentence in Croatian. There is a sentence in Serbian. There is a sentence in Bosnian. They are all the same sentence.

You have to write about your day in Slovak. You spend the night polishing the draft. You fail your assigment. It’s written in Czech. You don’t know Czech.

P is not what it seems. You have to remember that.

The Croatian sentence does not mean what the Bosnian sentence means. They both mean the same in Serbian.

That word has a diminutive. The diminutive has its own diminutive. The diminutive of the diminutive also has a diminutive. Nobody knows what the final diminutive of a word is. Some say the knowledge had been lost in centuries past and matrioshkas are the echo, the tangible warning left for us to remember. No living creature should hold the means of diminishing something into nonexistence.
Others say you may still find some of them in old soviet textbooks, if you dare to look in abandoned schools of Chernobyl.

Someone is speaking to you. Is that a he or a she? You aren’t sure. It’s an abstract concept. Why does it have gender.

You see a word in a dictionary. It has seventeen letters and only one vowel. You close the dictionary very carefully not looking at the phonetic transcription. The shape of it haunts you in your sleep. You wake up face damp with tears, a bitter taste on your tongue. The clock blinks 3:03AM. You do not dare look up that word again.

This word means the same thing in the five slavic languages you’re familiar with. You use it in the sixth one. That word does not exist in this language. It never did. There is now a word-shaped void in the fabric of this language. The natives look at you uneasily. There is a new quality to the silence and your palms start to sweat.

H is not H. H is not H. H is not H. H is not H.

One day you flip through your dictionary. A page is missing. What was the word? You can’t remember. There is pressure building at the back of your head. The clock blinks 3:03AM.

You write my name is in cyrillic. There are shadows dancing on the walls. They grow longer with each letter you write down. It is not cyrillic you’re using. You keep writing my name is. The shadows now bleed from the tip of your pen. It’s irrelevant. You need to remember the right letters.

N is not N is not N is not N is not N is not N is not N is not N is not N is not N is not N is not… If only you could remember the letters. The letters are important. What was it, that wasn’t N?

There are nine different prefixes you can add to a verb to change its meaning. There are fifty three different suffixes you have to add to a verb to make it work. In the end the only thing left of the original is a vague shape of one of its middle consonants. You can feel the anguish radiating from the verb’s mutialted form. A desperate sob escapes through your clenched teeth. You’re so, so sorry, you didn’t meant to. You didn’t. It doesn’t matter.

You now read a text in Russian. You’ve never learnt Russian. Why are you reading that text? The words burn your eyes, the meaning searing your mind.

There’s a shot of vodka in front of you. You don’t drink alcohol. You don’t care. All existence is meaningless, your soul’s in eternal pain. A broken matrioshka lays at your feet. There is no salvation, she says boring into your eyes. You open your mouth to answer, but there is only a burst of harsh rustle. It dies in whispering echoes a moment later. Your glass is empty again.

3dspacejesus  asked:

[Prompt]: A fantasy world is so used to human children arriving to go on quests and learn moral lessons that they've set up a whole bureaucracy to deal with it.

“Name?”

“Trudy C-”

“Is that a nickname?  I need your full name.”

“…Gertrude Chau.”

“Favorite mythical creature?”

“Unicorns.”

“…do you have a second favorite?”

“…Mermaids?”

“I can get you mermaids.  What were you doing before you - how did you say you got here?”

“I looked under my bed for monsters and fell.”

Scribble scribble.  “Before that, what were you doing?”

“We just moved and -”

“Hang on -”  Papers rustle.  “Which of the following best describes your attitude: excitement about your new opportunities, apprehension about your new school or neighborhood, resentment at loss of old friends and familiar settings, or other?”

“….what does resentment mean?”

“It means you’re mad that they were taken away.”

“That one.”

“Okay.  And, fingerprints here in case you take longer on your quest than you’re supposed to and we need to do a locator spell; and would you like a dagger, magic wand, animal companion, or bow and arrows?”

“I only get one?”

“You can combine the animal companion with another option if you fill out form 37-J -”

“I’ll just take the magic wand.”

“There’s a bin of them by the door; take one and then recite this fairy-summoning chant to call a guide fairy and be led to your destination.”  Stamp, check, peeling of carbon paper.  “This is your copy.  Next!”

Have a gif of a sexy combat rolling Hanzo

Now who does that remind you of? They met at Overwatch right? Right???

Chicken Nugget

pairing: Lin x reader

warnings: none!! cursing i think? this is fluffffffy

summary: The story of you and Lin, told through Twitter. 

requests: “hey, I just wanted to say that your writing is so cute! ^.^ anyway, I wanted to request a Lin x Reader where maybe reader and Lin get into a Twitter battle and it’s just really cute and stuff! thanks! <3″

@not-mystery-anymore-anon: happy late birthday! This took me so long wow I have like 4 more unfinished fics so I’m gonna go work on that. I don’t know how to feel about this, enjoy! 

words: 1524


January 26 / 11:56

@Lin_Manuel:

Good morning!
Sometimes people will steal the last chicken nugget from you.
They will slip past you in a line.
But life goes on.

@Lin_Manuel:

Story time. I was at the supermarket at midnight. I was gonna buy some chicken nuggets for a writing snack. And just when I come round the aisle, SOMEONE TOOK THE LAST PACK. (1/?)

@Lin_Manuel:

SHE JUST GRABBED IT. And I shouted “Hey those are mine!” and she just ignores me and walks off. What the f*ck? (2/?)

@Lin_Manuel:

I mean it’s one thing if you’re gonna take the last nuggets but you’re also gonna ignore me? And when I was about to step into one of the cashiers, lo and behold, she appears again! (3/?)

@Lin_Manuel:

She slips right in front of me and pays for her damn chicken nuggets. One day, I will find you. And suffocate you in chicken nuggets. Just you wait. (4/?)

@Y/N:

Tfw you buy chicken nuggets and some guy rants about it on Twitter even though they’re rightfully yours

January 30 / 08:05

@Y/N:

Thank you to everyone who made this album possible. Here’s to all the blood shed and tears spilled.

@Lin_Manuel:

Okay I’m supposed to be writing but HOLY MOLY. @Y/N’s most recent album is F*CKING FIRE. This is going to be the only thing that I listen to today.

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel Thank you! Did you like track 2?

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N Absolutely loved it. Elegantly done. How do you get the inspiration for this kind of genius, master?

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel Glad you asked! Few months ago, I was buying chicken nuggets and this guy got mad because I took the last one. Also, I beat him to the cashier, and later that day he poured out his feelings on Twitter.

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N Oh.

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel Oh indeed, Lin. Or should I call you ‘the guy who rhymed son with sun’?

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N Um okay but at least that rhymed. Chicken nugget and unwritten sonnet don’t rhyme. I take back what I said about track 2.

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel Are you saying you can come up with a better rhyme for chicken nugget?

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N Taking the last chicken nugget, staking it fast and kickin’ it like a bucket

@Y/N:
@Lin_Manuel Brilliant. Amazing. Superb. Impressive. Remarkable. Exceptional. Marvelous. Excellent.

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N Thanks for showing us that you can use a dictionary! See ya next time when you learn more words!

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel *thesaurus

February 29 / 15:07

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N Karen told me that she spotted you at Hamilton. Why didn’t you tell me that you were suddenly a huge fan?

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel I watched it as a writer. For writing inspiration. And I’m very impressed with the musical. Not you.

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N Oh so I have yet to impress you? I mean I impressed people enough to get me a couple of awards.

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel Do something worth my being impressed at, and we’ll see about that.

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N Oh it’s SO on like Donkey Kong.

March 4 / 23:50

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N Congrats on the Billboard #1! Hope it can last 2 weeks like Hamilton did

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel How do you manage to be an asshole and a friend in one tweet

March 6 / 02:05

@Y/N:

Sometimes I like to imagine that Eliza Schuyler from Hamilton is based off me. We’re both pure, smart and lovable.

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N Nice try. You were the greatest inspiration for Jefferson, though. Where else would I find someone as annoying and cocky?

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel The mirror maybe?

April 17 / 22:05

@Y/N:

Congrats on the Oscar. And the PEGOT. You still haven’t (pe)GOT my heart, though. @Lin_Manuel

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N Wow yes because very other award fades in comparison to winning your heart.

April 30 / 12:05

@Lin_Manuel:

Bit of a day. Met Mark Hamill. Bought a lightsaber. Harrison Ford thought @Y/N and I were dating.

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel 1. Absolutely never 2. DETAILS PLEASE!! Harrison Ford was my childhood crush

@Lin_Manuel:

I told him you were stubborn like Leia. He said that I was Han. I said “Sure we’re Han and Leia without the whole falling in love thing.” @Y/N

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel Nicely phrased.

May 14 / 15:30

@Y/N:

I’ve never tried sashimi. It looks weird as hell

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N Shame on you.

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel Are you suggesting something?

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N If the girl wasn’t you I would’ve offered to take her to try them.

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel Yeah like I’d go anywhere with you anyway. Hypothetically if you were taking this girl with you, where would you go?

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N I’d tell her that she has to go with me to find out.

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel And if she can’t stand you but really wants the sashimi?

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N I’d make sure that by the end of the date she’ll be in love with me.

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel You talk big. Care to prove it?

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N DM me your number and you’ll find out.

May 15 / 10:05

@Lin_Manuel:

I have converted @Y/N into a sashimi-er.

@ham4ham4ham:

@Lin_Manuel more importantly, is she in love with you now?

@Y/N:

@ham4ham4ham Am I?

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N @ham4ham4ham Great things take time.

July 31 / 13:35

@wowhamilton:

Why do @Lin_Manuel and @Y/N never talk again??

@Lin_Manuel:

@wowhamilton I feel like a 13-year-old saying this but I have her number now. I got her number guys!

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel I feel like a 13-year-old saying this but I really like texting you.

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N *screenshots and sends to friends*

August 17 / 21:56

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N Do you maybe kinda wanna be my date to the Tonys? *runs away to hide*

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel From sashimi to Tonys? You’re a real overachiever aren’t you

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N Is that a yes?

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel Yes x100

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N OH SNAP WHO’S THAT DON’T TOUCH ME I’M TOO HOT YES QUÉ PASÓ HERE I GO SO DOPE Y TU LO SABES NO PARE SIGUE SIGUE DID YOU SEE ME

August 25 / 14:26

@Karenolivo:

Today I was a wonderful thirdwheeler, as you can see in this photo

@Lin_Manuel:

@Karenolivo76 The loveliest girl in the place. Hint: not you Karen

@Y/N:
We know, Lin. It’s you. @Lin_Manuel

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N Goddamit I really need to go back in time and talk to Hamilton so he can help me up my game. I wrote the lyric ‘if it takes fighting a war to meet it will have been worth it’ y’know. I’m good at this flirting thing I swear

September 18 / 13:25

@Y/N:

Wait for a guy who makes you feel like you’re in high school with your heart doing jumping jacks. It’s worth it, I promise.

@Lin_Manuel:

Wait for a girl who makes your heart spin and makes you unaccountably nervous. She’ll come.

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel She’ll come hehehehehe

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N Well if you look at it that way it ain’t wrong either

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel BLOCKED AND REPORTED GOODBYE

September 29 / 09:05

@Lin_Manuel:

Bookstore dates are the best. @Y/N is the best.

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel You’re such a nerd. One that I happen to be in love with, though.

October 10 / 17:31

@Lin_Manuel:

Sometimes she looks at me and I’m Eliza, wide-eyed and adoring. She’s got me helpless.

@Y/N:

Sometimes he looks at me and I’m Philip. Dead. He got me deceased.

October 19 / 13:48

@Lin_Manuel:

Goodbyes are the worsttt. @Y/N I love you don’t get an affair see you in a few months

@Y/N:

Wish I could be there with you. Kinda hard to get an affair when I can’t stop thinking about you. @Lin_Manuel

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N Just now on the plane I bought some Oreos. I just realised that you weren’t there to eat the white cream so I decided not to eat the Oreos. Life really does suck without you.

November 1 / 23:59

@Y/N:

Wrote a sad song today. It’s about a girl who misses someone but knows that he’s gone doing something great. Sounds familiar

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N Heard your song on the radio today. Started crying in the cab. Driver looked at me weird. I miss you.

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel Fell asleep listening to your interviews yesterday. Just wanted to hear you talk as though you were next to me.

November 4 / 00:01

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N Happy birthday to the very best. Thank you for learning salsa just so my dad would like you and for making me the best homemade ice cream. You transcend Eliza. You’re you, and I love you.

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel Thanks, loser! Come back home. I miss you.

November 5 / 02:05

@Y/N:

Guess who just came home for my birthday!!!!! @Lin_Manuel

@Lin_Manuel:

Good night.
Sometimes you gotta lose something to gain something even better.
I lost a pack of chicken nuggets but gained the love of my life.

Days on end

‘How do you feel about the violin?’

John lifted his head, turning his attention from the depths of a packing crate. God, he was tired. They’d been at this for hours and the flat still looked half-exploded. ‘I’m sorry, what?’

His eyes finally refocused to find Sherlock standing by the window, looking out at the familiar sliver of London. As unruffled as ever, and what kind of bastard does home restoration while wearing a tailored shirt? Had he even been helping? John rubbed his forehead and felt like he had grit embedded in his soul.

What had Sherlock said again?

‘I play the violin when I’m thinking,’ Sherlock said, still watching the street. Musing.

Yeah, OK. A remarkably obvious comment. Was this one of those conversations Sherlock had without bothering to open his mouth? Or had John been so engrossed in rooting through back issues of the BMJ _ and Christ, was that old copy of Hustler actually his? _ that he simply hadn’t noticed him speaking?

Or was it something more? John had trotted somewhat cluelessly after Sherlock at even the best of times, but he was embarrassed to admit that recently he felt more out of touch with his best friend than ever before. A lot had happened, even for their admirably high level of functionally insane. Quite uncomfortable things. And of course he didn’t live at 221B anymore.

Maybe that instant, unworldly bond they once formed had finally snapped. And really, hadn’t it been extraordinary, that bond? John idly scrubbed the dust from his knuckles and remembered that day …

… and then he remembered.

Now he looked at Sherlock more carefully, as if the man was no longer standing across a disheveled room but on the brink of another time. Sherlock, still gazing out the window. Waiting.

John cleared his throat, deliberate. Again: ‘I’m sorry, what?’

And there, the tiniest curl of a smile.

‘I play the violin when I’m thinking,’ Sherlock said. ‘Sometimes I don’t talk for days on end.’

He turned to look at John, settled in the shadows, elbows-deep in the past. Still that air of drama. But John saw the haughty, untouchable cool of that first day missing.

Sherlock looked almost unsure. Just something there, at the edges of his eyes. With a twist of self-loathing, John thought: I put that there.

And then: Please let me fix this. Right fucking now.

With a silent cry of protest from his knees, John stood and paused, pretending to consider.

‘I’m a terrible typist,’ he said.

Sherlock cocked his head, assessing. ‘I’ve been known to keep internal organs in the crisper,’ he replied.

'I sometimes have nightmares.’

'I have cigarettes stashed around the flat.’

'I … I have problems with my temper,’ John said, looking down, fists curling at his sides. 'I am so sorry. Sherlock …’

'I often interrupt and find apologies tedious. Also, I am a master of baritsu and will not hesitate to demonstrate it in the future.’

That tight half-smile. A sigh. Something in the room lightened by a degree. Then John looked serious again.

'I have a daughter,’ he said. 'Honestly, Sherlock, would that bother you?’

'I love her,’ Sherlock said softly. 'Please, do keep up.’

John exhaled. And just like that, it seemed a decision had been made.

They really did know the worst about each other, John thought, looking around at the boxes and skulls and wondering how their lives could possibly fit in more. He glanced up to catch Sherlock doing that annoying mind-reading bit, miles ahead of him as usual, grinning.

Flatmates? Yeah. They had potential.

@librarylock
@conversationswithjohnlock
@alexxphoenix42
@a-candle-for-sherlock

Sleepless

Summary: You and Sam both have insomnia, so you find a way to entertain yourselves.

Warning: smut

Word Count: 1550

A/N: It’s been a while since I wrote Sam x reader. Hope you enjoy! XOXO


12:36 AM

Insomnia does weird things to a person.

Under no other circumstances would you be sitting in the library of the bunker, reading about the weaponry forged in fourteenth century Japan to combat a monster that was essentially an ocean-dwelling werewolf.

Yeah. Can’t make this shit up.

Keep reading

  • Me: having a structured life is exhausting!
  • Therapist: I understand. Let's say just get up in the morning, get some breakfast, go for a walk...and that's it for a start.
  • Me: *internally: sounds reasonable, but that means first fighting against my will to just stay in bed and act as if I'm not existing. Getting up either way and facing my face and body in the mirror. There's an 80% chance that it's one of those days and I hate myself just so fucking much I could scream. But there's also a chance I look in the mirror and find a person that does not seem to be familiar to me looking back at me. Still, now you want me to shower and wash this body I find really disgusting. I have to see every single scar I have and maybe feel the burn of fresh cuts. Then I have to put on cloth, brush my teeth and my hair and do my makeup, as I can't go outside without hiding my ugly face under layers of primers and foundations and powders and highlighters and fake lashes and a perfect contour and a big nude fake smile. I spend money I don't have to make myself look good enough for myself to endure my own appearance. I remember to take my meds. Now I'm dressed (in clothes that hopefully say 'i don't care' when really I care a lot) and can go to the kitchen to prepare food that I know I won't be able to eat in 50% of the cases. There's also a good chance that I eat it and then find myself throwing up and ruining my makeup feeling every single disgusting cell of fat on my body vibrate while trying to breathe. Well either way let's say I might redo my make-up, brush my teeth again and step outside. I maybe take my horse with me and walk through the neighbourhood. I have to see people. I feel anxious. I would love to just turn around and go back home. But I keep on walking, trying to seem selfconfident so my horse and neighbours can't see or feel my insecurity. I'll try to be friendly and act normal even though I'm sure they hate me and laugh about me. Still if the communication between my horse and me isn't perfect today I'll probably cry and if a neighbour just looks at me in a way that i interpret to be unfriendly or cold or annoyed I'll probably cry too. Let's say I'm back home. Now it's like 11 in the morning. What do I do? By now I'm an emotional wreck, tired as hell, probably planing on how to harm myself with one half of my brain while the other half bundles it's last energy to prevent exactly this from happening. How do I survive the rest?*
  • Me: I'll try.
Signal boost for a precious dragon

Hey folks! I very rarely stray from anything daily cat related but I am going to make an exception for one of my friends. Her bearded dragon Draco had to make a vet visit recently (the lil’ buddy is on the mend!), and she’s trying to promote Etsy sales to cover the cost of the trip. 

Some of you may be familiar with her work, for the last two years we’ve been working Rose City Comic Con together. She does some phenomenal colored pencil work! Please if you have a moment go take a look at her shop, I’m sure she’d appreciate the patronage.

The original post

Jillian Lambert Art Etsy

 I have this print, had to get the cat one of course!

This is Draco. Ain’t he a cutie? 

Thanks again folks, now back to the daily cats!  ❤

Alluring Tune | (m)

Pairing: Yoongi x reader
Genre: Fluff, a lot of smut
Warnings: Mature content
Word Count: 4.4K

His voice was almost a whisper, warm breath hitting the shell of your ear. And the heat coupled with the slow, savory movements of his fingers overtop the thin fabric had an almost numbing effect, your mind drawing a blank as you enter an intoxicating haze.

“I thought there was no punishment?” you manage to say, swallowing back the moans that threatened to escape.
“This is a demonstration baby, not a punishment.”

Keep reading

- SU AMETHYST THEORY: “Deep Cut” Definition - Not a Defect; a Secret Weapon!! -

So when the Crystal Gems are all at the forge, Bismuth calls Amethyst “Deep Cut”. She says “Hey deep cut, what’chu packin’?”

When Amethyst pulls out her whip, Bismuth is genuinely impressed and continues, “Not every Quartz can make a whip like this”

I looked up what a “deep cut” means in gem terminology. 

“When we discuss colored gemstones such as sapphire, ruby and emerald, the main motive of cut is to maximize color to its full potential. In contrast, cutting in diamonds mostly refers to maximizing brilliance.”

Stones that are too deep will look smaller than expected but they will show off more color than they would if they were cut to normal proportions. Deep-cut stones also preserve weight, increasing the cost of the stone without the expected increase in the size of the crown (top portion of the gem).”

Well, we now know why Amethyst is considered a defect by Homeworld, she came out cut too deep, so she looks smaller. But check out what else it says about deep cut gems; their color is more saturated, vibrant, beautiful. Possible relevance as their bodies are a projection of light, and with light you get colors. I think that’s why her weapon is special.(Or, if the color has nothing to do with it, then a deeper cut/color would mean her potential is maxed out. Like maxed IVs!)  They also ‘preserve weight ’ without having to be physically bigger. That could mean Amethyst has more mass packed in her body than the other gems; she’s smaller because of her gem’s density, which would explain her shapeshifting prowess.

In particular, why Amethyst can shapeshift into someone twice her size like The Purple Puma, or Jasper, without taking damage (when she’s used to the form, comparing Purple Puma vs Jasper, she’s been shown to sustain Puma for much longer without resting). Even then it took a long time before being Jasper started to be hard for her. 

In contrast, remember how tired Steven got, from just stretching his body a few inches??

Her smaller body is ALSO why when she finally accepts herself, it takes her TEN SECONDS to reform after she’s poofed the second time: 

How long did it take Pearl the Perfectionist?

TWO. WEEKS. So in battle, though she still needs some protection, Amethyst’s small size gives her a tremendous advantage; she could potentially save herself from being shattered by reforming almost immediately. No other gem has had that ability so far.

Finally, Amethyst is just deep. She’s a very deep person.

Why else do I think this is relevant? Well… 

“Stones that are too shallow will look big for their weight and appear lighter in color than deeper-cut stones.”


Why does that sound familiar?

Oh. 

Shallow has several meanings here. Her weapon is a helmet. Her battle strategy is to run into her foe. 

That’s a shallow strategy. No one will stay with Jasper because she only thinks of things from her perspective; she lacks insight in other’s emotions. She’s, in a way, shallow. 

Or, an allegory for being born with pure talent vs having to work for everything you have, and how shallow pure talent alone really is. 

In Conclusion

Homeworld has a recourse problem, and Amethyst’s ‘deep cut’ gives her all the abilities of a regular cut Quartz soldier plus more, while taking the same amount of resources to create, and they’d consider her a defect?? Homeworld. You fools. 

Tricks (Part 1)

Request: Hello! How are you? Could I request a Joker x Reader where the he and his friends are arguing about who the most attractive/best with the ladies is and joker ends up betting he can seduce the reader. They fall in love but then reader finds out it was all a bet. Sort of a ‘10 things I hate about you’ scenario haha Thanks lovie

A/N: I COMPLETELY fell in love with this idea this is cute AS FUCK. Part 1 of ??

Pairing: Joker x reader 

Summary: Joker makes a bet he can seduce the reader but finds out he’s met his match. 

Warnings: Sexual implications? Probably swearing? Joker stuff. 

Originally posted by grysamobojcow

Keep reading

It took me a while to post this because I had to edit the text…that’s always what holds me up. Full story under the read more

Here we have the presidents son out walking his dog with his 2 guards in tow
Umbra’s after making things awkward with a total stranger who whips around ‘oh em gee your dog got further than any date ive ever had’ and of course Noct is mortified D:
Ignis and Gladio are just like 'Dog?!?! what’s wrong with you??’

Keep reading

Anathema

Note: hi, darlin! I’m glad you love my writing! thank you so much for the request! I really hope you like it! .c

Request: Hii can you do a Bucky imagine where the reader is part of the avengers but they all ignore her all the time and they kind of hate her and to actually talk to them she has to follow them around. She has always been like that and one night they are really rude to her and she kind of breaks down and yeah…. You can make up the ending. By the way love your writing :) - @mariamaymanessam


Becoming an Avenger was not what you expected. Instead of a warm welcome, you had no welcome at all. Instead of  making new friendships, you seem to have made…enemies? You weren’t exactly sure what they were. The team didn’t take a liking to you and you had no idea what you did to deserve such a rough time with them. You were on their team, you helped them during missions, and dare you say it: you picked up their slack and even saved their lives a few times.

So why do they hate you? Why do they ignore you?


You were getting ready for a mission, slipping your boots on. Your zipped up your suit afterwards and took a deep breath as you looked in the mirror. It was much like Natasha’s, just with more weapon holsters and secret pockets for knives. You sighed as you left your room, almost dreading having to leave.

You tried all morning to find out what the mission was about. Every time you asked someone, they’d brush you off or just completely ignore you. It was frustrating, but you knew they couldn’t let you go out there and not know what to do. Sure, kill enemies and protect your team members, but you didn’t know if there was something you had to do specifically.

The tower was pretty quiet as you searched for the team. Taking the elevator up to the common room, you didn’t find them there either. It was ten minutes till take off and you had no clue where they were.

“Friday, where’s the team?” You asked, tapping your fingers against your thigh nervously. “They are about to leave, Miss Y/L/N.” You gasped and the elevator doors slid open just as you were about to ask Friday to tell them to wait on you.

You opened the door to the roof and saw Steve walking onto the strip, securing his shield on his back. You ran as fast as you could, yelling for Steve to wait on you.

“I’m coming! Wait! Please!” Your combat boots hit the ground hard and fast as you watched the landing strip start to close. Your heart was beating fast and you swore he almost turned around to look at you but acted like he didn’t hear you.


Grunting, you pushed yourself to run faster and you just barely made it as the strip started to lift off the ground. You fell onto the strip and crawled up into the quinjet, your lungs burning.

The team was sitting around the table, going over the mission plans again, not seeming to care that you were gasping for air on the floor.

“You couldn’t have waited for me?” You asked breathlessly, standing to your feet. Nobody turned to look at you and you sighed heavily through your nose. “Guess not.” You muttered, walking over to the table. You stood near Sam and he cleared his throat, slightly turning his body away from you.

You peeked over the table to look at the manila file folder Steve was reading from. “It’s a HYDRA base. It holds information on a new experiment and we cannot leave without it. You know what to do.” His eyebrow quirked as he looked up from the file to glance around the team, skipping you.

“Who’s supposed to get the information?” You asked, looking around at the team. Their expressions were cold and they stayed silent, moving away to sit in their seats. You sighed and you reached for the file until a hand yanked it off the table. You looked over to see Clint whistling to himself, holding the file in front of his face, pretending to read it.

The team chuckled quietly and you frowned. “I wanted to read that.” You said, waiting for Clint to put the file down to respond to you. When he didn’t, you sighed. “Forget it.” You turned to sit in your rightful seat, only to see a large black duffel bag sitting in it.

Wanda was smirking as she hummed, keeping a hand on the bag so you couldn’t pull it away. Not bothering to say anything, you sat against the wall, a little ways away from the team.

You were used to them treating you like this, so it didn’t bother you too much to not have a seat or know what the mission was entirely about. You’d do what you always do. Go in, take down any enemy you see, and make sure the team was safe.

And that’s what you were doing. Your guns were firing bullet after bullet as you fought alongside Nat, Wanda, and Clint.

“On your left!” You shouted to Nat as she snapped a guards neck. Another one was charging at her and he pulled out a gun just as you hopped off the back of another guard.

Nat, of course, didn’t listen to you. So instead of letting her get shot, you ran into her and you both fell to the ground before either of you got shot. You quickly shot him down and Nat grunted, more so in annoyance than pain. “Get off of me!” She yelled, pushing you onto your back.

You scoffed and shook your head at her. “You’re welcome for saving your ass!” You yelled back, watching her kick open a door, leading into another room. Clint followed silently behind Nat, his bow aimed in front of him. You stomped after them and swallowed your anger. All you needed to do was get through this mission alive. Being angry would only make you lose focus.

You walked into the room Nat and Clint were in and you listened to Nat and Steve talk to each other in your comms. “The room is empty. Do you see anything?” Steve asked, you could hear him grunting and fighting alongside Bucky and Sam. 

Wanda and Tony had been searching the far end of the base. A sense of familiarity set into your bones as you looked around the room. You knew exactly where they would keep such information. “I know where it is!” You exclaimed, listening to the team go quiet. “Great.” Clint said sarcastically. 

You looked at Clint and Nat let out a laugh. “Of course she does. She was one of them.” Nat laughed harder and soon the others joined her. Your heart sank in your chest and you gripped your gun in your hand, holding onto the last ounce of composure you had. 

Your past with Hydra wasn’t what they wanted to accept. They thought you were one of the bad guys, but you weren’t. You never were. You were kidnapped and experimented on but they didn’t care to look at it that way.

You sighed and left the room, making your way to the hidden vault on the left wing of the base. A few guards cut down the hallway, yelling in Russian. Before you could do anything , you had to take them out. And it was more than you expected. “Shit.” You muttered, readying your gun and a throwing knife.

You shot down any guard you could and even had to do hand-to-hand combat to get through some of them. 

You took down the last guard with a choke hold and pride filled your chest. You ran towards the end of the hallway and saw a door with a passcode button. If you remembered correctly, you’d be able to get in without tripping an alarm. You had to do this before and it was nothing new to you. You knew all of their codes, having been in a base for five years.

The team had gone quiet in your comm and you figured all the guards left were dead. You suddenly heard footsteps approaching behind you. “What is she doing?” You heard Sam ask behind you. You turned around and let out a breath as you saw who it was. “I’m getting what you all couldn’t find.” You shrugged, turning back to the door.

You punched in a code and heard it beep two times, then the metal door slid open to reveal a large vault. You pumped your fist and exclaimed happily. “Unbelievable.” Wanda groaned, shaking her head. The others were upset and angry, but you were happy to had found what was needed.

You typed in the same code into the vault and pulled the door open, a file folder and two tubes of red liquid were set on display. You took them all and walked over to Steve, holding them out for him with a smile. He stared down at you with an unreadable expression before turning and walking away.

The team followed behind him and you sighed, following after them. Nobody was grateful for you finding it. Though, after a successful mission, you were worn out and ready to clean yourself of the dirt and blood. 

So when you got back to the tower, you went straight to your bedroom to clean up. Thoughts filled your head, swirling around and nearly making you dizzy, as you slipped out of your boots and your suit. Your chest felt heavier the more you thought about everything. 

You stepped into your bathroom and turned on your shower, stepping in and letting the hot water loosen your tense muscles and wash away the sadness. Only by a little. It wasn’t enough to let you feel peaceful. The way the team treated you everyday, it hurt. It was confusing and you were tired of it.

Getting out, you quickly dried your hair and slipped on a pair of shorts and a tank top, deciding to wear a thin cardigan. It gave you a sense of comfort. Your mind raced with questions and possible reasons as to why the team didn’t like you. You’d even say they hated you at this point.

Your stomach growling kept your thoughts at bay, you were more than ready to eat dinner. You’d rather avoid the team, but you had a right to eat just as much as they did. As the elevator to the kitchen opened, you could hear the team talking among themselves, the sound of their laughter echoing through the hallway.

You stopped before you reached the door, keeping out of sight as you heard your name.

“Come on, Nat! Y/N saved you.” You heard Wanda say, teasing the redhead. You could just picture the smirk on her face, you even heard the venom laced in her tone as she spoke. Nat scoffed and a few laughs covered up the beginning of her sentence.

“-but I had it under control. It’s not my fault the bitch won’t stick to her job.” You frowned and leaned against the wall, your stomach sinking as you listened to everyone agree. “I mean, she acts like she’s the best on the team!” The sound of a fork dropping onto a plate made you jump and you were suddenly aware of the tears falling down your cheeks.

You sniffled lightly and wiped at your nose with the sleeve of your cardigan. “I mean, we don’t even need her here.” Sam said just loud enough for you to hear. You felt sick to your stomach, feeling like a terrible burden to everyone.

Clint chuckled and you could hear him loudly chewing his food before he joined in. “She knew the passcode. Only a fucked up person would remember Hydra’s passcodes.” He mumbled the last part lowly. You heard Bucky clear his throat, his chair sliding against the floor. “Excuse me!?” He asked, shock evident in his voice.

You covered your mouth as a sob threatened to escape and you turned on your heel, running down the hallway and back to the elevator.

You couldn’t listen to this anymore. All they did was ignore you when you needed them or even wanted to hang out, and they were always talking about you and how they don’t like you. If they didn’t want you here, all they had to do was say so.

You stepped into the elevator and took it up to your bedroom. You tried your best to hold it in and when you slammed your door shut, you let everything go.

Everything that you held in came crashing down on top of you. Your sobs echoed through your room and it felt like your heart was going to split in two. You couldn’t understand what you did wrong. 

A few minutes passed and a knock on your door startled you. Quickly scrambling to your feet, you took a few deep breaths before you opened your door, only to see Bucky standing there. His hair framed his face as he looked down at you, his eyes taking in your appearance.

You wiped at your cheeks and put on a fake smile, as if he couldn’t see that you were crying right in front of him. “H-hey, James.” Your voice came out shaky and you winced at the sound of it. Bucky stuffed his hands in his pockets, his head hanging low, guilt bubbling in his stomach.

He felt bad for how the team treated you. He would always take up for you, always tell the team to give you a break. He knew you were good for the team, whether they wanted you here or not. But he was too scared to approach you about it.

It was no excuse, but he was still new to opening up and talking about feelings. He hoped he was strong enough to finally put an end to how the team treated you.

“Did…Did you want to join us?” Bucky asked softly, kicking himself in his mind at what he just asked you. Why on earth would you want to join them after hearing what they said about you? After how they’ve treated you ever since you arrived? You were taken aback and you wanted to scoff at Bucky, but you held it in. He was making an effort.

You shook your head, “Sounds like you’re all having the time of your lives. I don’t want to intrude.” You walked away to sit on your bed and you sniffled, staring down at your knees.

Bucky walked into your room and sat down on your bed beside you. You held your head in your hands and let out another sob. “I need to leave.” You spoke through your sobs and Bucky felt his heart clench in his chest. “Please, don’t.” He whispered, and you almost missed it over your crying.

You let out a shaky laugh and you looked up at Bucky. “You guys hate me! I can’t do this anymore. A-all I’ve ever done, all I’ve e-ever tried to do was be apart of the team!” You inhaled deeply before another sob shook your body.

Bucky’s right hand rested on the small of your back, his metal hand moving to your cheek to wipe away your tears. “Y/N, when I first got here, they, aside from Steve, treated me nearly the same way.  And…what happened to you, they don’t understand it. But I do.” Bucky saw your lip tremble and that did it for him.

“Come with me.” He stood to his feet and held his hand out for you. You stared at it as if it were a foreign object, your eyebrows creasing. “What?” You asked, sniffling as you wiped at your cheeks.

He gently wiggled his fingers after a few seconds. “Come on.” Bucky quietly urged you to take his hand and you gently slid yours into his, letting him pull you along to wherever it was he was taking you.

Taking the elevator back down, Bucky brought you into the kitchen and you felt small beside him. But you felt even smaller when the team looked up at spotted you with him. He stood there, his chest rising and falling heavily as his anger tried to break through his ribcage.

“She’s apart of the team. I don’t care who doesn’t like it. She has saved you-,” He pointed to Nat with a hard stare and she slowly sank in her seat, casting her eyes down to her lap, “-and you, and you.” He pointed at Wanda and then Clint.

They all sat there, seemingly full of shock and surprisingly, guilt.

Bucky’s hand dropped from yours and he walked over to the table, moving his plate of food to an empty seat beside him so that you could eat it.

"Y/N, eat with us.” He said with a small smile. You stood there, unsure of what to do, just like the others as they watched. Bucky sighed and walked over to you again and pulled you to the seat, gently sitting you down.

“If anyone says anything about her again, I won’t be so nice.” Bucky threatened, taking the seat beside you. You kept your eyes on the plate and bit your lip nervously. Bucky gently nudged your arm and you looked up at him. He smiled at you and motioned towards the plate. 

You sighed and slid it back to him. “It’s yours.” You whispered, ignoring the stares from the team. “I want you to eat first. You worked hard today.” Bucky shrugged.

Nat took a deep breath and Bucky tensed in his seat. He shot her a warning glare and she held her hands up in defense. “I was just gonna tell her thank you.” She said softly, her eyes flickering to your face before looking at Bucky again.

Steve straightened his back in his seat, “Y/N, I want to apologize. And I-I want to say thank you, as well.” Steve said, his cheeks tinted red. Your eyes widened and soon enough the whole team was apologizing. 

“We weren’t sure if we could trust you. Hydra has…Hydra has a way with weaving people in and destroying things.” Tony explained after a few minutes, setting down his drink. 

You nodded gently. Bucky let his arm rest on your chair, his thumb brushing against your shoulder. A warm feeling spread throughout your body at the small action. “I’m sorry if I haven’t proved myself.” You whispered softly, keeping your eyes on the food.

Sam cleared his throat and looked over at you. “You’ve proved that we could trust you many times and I’m sorry for everything. We need you on the team. I was too cocky to admit it.” Sam mumbled the last part bashfully. Bucky snorted and covered his mouth with his hand. Soon enough, you were laughing along with the team.

“Do you want to say something?” Bucky asked softly, watching as you took a bite of your food. You looked around at everyone and sighed.

It wasn’t entirely wrong to accept their apologies. They did have a good reason to resent you at first, with the whole new recruit with a Hydra backstory situation, but it would take you a little while to fully become their friend after everything.

You shook your head and looked up at Bucky. He simply nodded at you, completely understanding, and let you get back to eating. He kept his arm over your chair and scooted just a tad closer to you.

Not too long after, the team started talking again, only this time: they didn’t ignore you.

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anonymous asked:

Prison AU: inmate dan becomes officer Phil's personal fuck toy at the prison.

Warning!! Smut: Inmate! Dan, guard! Phil, dom! Phil, sub! Dan, degradation, feminization, spanking, choking, daddy kink, hand jobs, blow jobs, closet sex, etc etc.


~Dan was told many things whenever he was first put into prison. He was told he would lose weight, eat less, exercise more, have to fight more, cigarettes were considered currency, all the usual stuff you’d be told before going to prison. No one, however, told him one thing in particular: That he would be a prison bitch.

~Dan had always known he was gay on some level, and didn’t much care for the idea of unconsented sexual relationships in prison, which he had also been warned about beforehand. But he wasn’t just a prison bitch to another prisoner, no of course not, a guard had claimed him.

~Phil Lester was a well respected officer, he had been working here for a few years and everyone was proud of him for his years of diligent hard work. He was a man of secrecy though, kept to himself most often, about many things, including his love life. Many of his coworkers had in the past asked him about his love life, but he never spoke about it. Again, being a man of secrecy, his love life fell under that veil.

~Dan had met Phil during his first year in. He knew who he was from the moment he saw him, the blue eyes strikingly familiar in a way that made his stomach knot up with old feeling swelling up. They had been together in high school, breaking up just before graduation due to having different career path choices, and different college choices. So they had decided it best for their relationship to just break up before making things too complicated.

~Phil was doing rounds, bunk checks were regular after an incident that happened a few weeks past. He looked through each bunk thoroughly, walking through the narrow hall and going into each one to check individually. He slowly walked in bunk 13, meeting his eyes with a pair of familiar brown eyes he hadn’t seen since he spent two years looking into them daily. Dan Howell.

~Phil smirked, deciding to play fun at their chance to catch up. “Inmate. What are you in for?” He asked, leaning on the cement frame of the small room and looking around to make sure no one noticed them before meeting his eyes back with Dan’s. “Vandalism. Mom had some asshole boyfriend start beating her, I destroyed his house, car, work area, everywhere I could. I wanted to destroy him like he had been destroying mom.”  

~Phil chuckled quietly, smiling fondly. “So. You still the same old mama’s boy I see.” He smirked. Dan scoffed softly, rolling his eyes and crossing his legs on his mattress, looking up at Phil with a grin. “Shut up.” He hummed. “I got three years for it too. In my opinion, totally worth it.”

~Phil nodded, looking around as the rest of the prisoners moved to the lunch area. No one would mind if he held Dan up, after all, he was an officer, he could do as he liked to the prisoners pretty much. He walked over and sat by him, smiling. “I haven’t seen you in so long.”

~Dan chuckled softly and nodded, looking at him. “Yeah. I haven’t seen you since you tore my heart out and stomped on it.” He murmured a little. “Seriously? Dan we aren’t 17 anymore you cannot still be brooding over me leaving you. I was going to a school 4 hours away from you. It would have been too hard!” He sighed, placing a hand on Dan’s thigh. “You know I loved you. I cried the whole time because I didn’t wanna leave. I loved you too much.”

~Dan sighed, closing his eyes and leaning back. “You shouldn’t touch me. Even talking to me so intimately could cost you your job.” He sighed again, his tone a little sad. “I got suspended for you four times in a year, lost two jobs over you, and gotten a teacher fired for you just because my dad is a lawyer. Danny, as it was before, it’d be worth it to lose a job over you.”

~Dan smiled softly, his dimple popping out and a light blush spreading across his cheeks. “I haven’t been called Danny in a  very long time. Especially not by a guy so cute.” He hummed, swaying a little from side to side and nudging Phil.

~Phil chuckled softly, glancing around again just for safety before leaning in and pecking Dan’s cheek. “I’ve missed you. And you’re flirting.” He smiled. “Oh the flirting can get much worse. Have I ever said how much I love a man in uniform? Although, looking good in the uniform isn’t the challenge. Looking good with it off is. And I can guarantee you look damn good with it off.” He smiled bashfully at his own flirting, leaning his head on Phil’s shoulder.

~Phil laughed quietly, shaking his head and kissing his hair softly. “Why does this feel so familiar? I feel like I’m 17 again and my boyfriend is trying to get into my pants after homecoming.” He laughed.

~Dan smiled sweetly. “It does feel familiar doesn’t it?” He agreed, feeling Phil’s fingers lace with his own. “Even after all these years when you touch me I get butterflies…” He smiled, nuzzling his neck a little. “That your way of telling me you got a boner or something?” Phil snickered, feeling Dan shove him over, his laugh ringing in his ears.

~Phil smiled in adoration as they calmed down from their mutual laughter, letting Dan settle back against him before taking his hand in his own once more. “You know, orange really isn’t your color.” He commented. “And what do you suppose I do about it? It’s the only attire I’ll be allowed to wear for the next few years.” He chuckled, this time a bit sadly.

~Phil smirked again, squeezing his hand. “You could just take it off sometimes. Preferably when you’re with me.” He suggested, only half kidding. “You just miss my ass don’t you?” Dan smirked back, going along with his flirting. “Oh fuck yes I did.” Phil laughed, almost snorting. “I have to admit, it to this day is the best ass I’ve ever gotten. Probably because I love the person attached to it so much..” He smiled.

~Dan flushed pink, giggling quietly and looking up at him, moving into his lap and starting to play with his hair. “I never really got over you either, as cheesey as it may sound.” He bit his lip, and Phil felt the same butterflies in his stomach he got the day he had first kissed Dan. He was so pretty, he hadn’t aged a day. Granted it had only been a few years, but still. He was just as breathtaking a sPhil remembered him to be.

~Phil smiled at him, his hopes raising. He knew he couldn’t make a relationship with Dan again, not with him being in prison and all. But he could, at the very least, get to know him again. “Yeah?” He asked, seeing Dan nod. “Yeah..” He said.

~They were dangerously close, close enough that Phil could lean in not even an inch and close the gap between them with ease. His hands shook, he could get fired and he did love this job, he didn’t want to get fired by any means. But the way Dan looked, his hair curly and longer than it used to be, his big brown doe eyes burning into him, his lips soft and pink, the bottom caught between his teeth; he was down right irresistible, and so, on impulse, he leaned in and kissed Dan with all the passion, lust, and love he had harbored for him all these years.

~Dan kissed back with the same ferocity, lips and tongue and teeth clashing in a messy, heated kiss. His eyes were practically rolling to the back of his head, his fingers tugging at Phil’s hair, trying to pull him impossibly closer.

~Phil noticed his hands starting to wander, unable to care, gripping the ass he has been still getting off to to this day. He slid his tongue along Dan’s, exploring his mouth as if he never had before, trailing over to kiss his jawline and his neck.

~Dan leaned to the side, his eyes fluttering shut and a soft moan escaping his lips. “You’re neck is still such a fucking g-spot for you huh baby boy?” He purred, nipping and sucking, but not leaving marks. Dan was letting out soft moans, the room quiet all except for Dan’s panting  and breathy moaning. “Please..” He begged quietly, desperate to be silent but knowing it was going to be nearly impossible, especially for him.

~Phil smirked against his pale skin, dragging his teeth over a vein in his neck and chuckling. “You gonna beg me baby? Beg for my cock like the slut you always are for me?” He asked, starting to unbutton Dan’s jumpsuit. Sure, they could be caught, sure this was wrong, sure this could cost him his job; But looking at Dan, his shirt halfway undone, his cock straining against his slightly chubby stomach, his eyes shut and moans slipping past his lips, Phil was reminded of just how much he didn’t care.

~Phil caught his lips for another rough kiss, slipping his hand down to grip Dan’s cock, stroking slowly. Dan nipped Phil’s bottom lip, tugging softly before moaning again, thankful everyone was at lunch and no one was around to hear the whorish noises he was making. “I’m barely even touching you.” Phil smirked. “And you’re already so close aren’t you?” He asked, speeding up his movements, swiping over the head of his cock with his thumb and collecting the beading precum.

~Dan whimpered, nodding half heartedly as he desperately bucked up his hips, trying to get more, Phil’s slow pace so delicious but so damn torturous. “More.” He begged again, leaning his head back and bucking his hips to no avail, Phil holding them down with force. “What do you want baby?” He asked, removing his hand from Dan and hearing him whine loudly at the loss, his hips still bucking up in desperation, trying to get friction to his throbbing cock.

~Dan whined again, finally relenting in understanding that Phil wouldn’t do anymore to him until he begged. And so as many times before, he dropped all pride, and begged like a whore for his rightful owner to fuck him senseless. “Please sir fuck me please! No one can make me cum like you do, please daddy, please I’ll do anything!” Tears fell past his eyes, he was so easy to work up and Phil would be lying if he said it didn’t turn him on.

~Phil smirked smugly, nodding and kissing him briefly, slipping a key into his hand. “There’s a closet down the hall. Everyone else will be outside in the yard. I’ll be there in a moment.” He instructed. “I want you naked and stretched by the time I’m in there and if you aren’t? I’ll spank that perfect ass so hard you won’t be able to sit for the next week.” He finished and Dan nodded eagerly, getting up off his lap and dashing down the hall to do as told.

~Phil waited for some time to pass before making his way down to where he knew Dan was at, opening the door and smirking to himself. It was dimly lit, the window on the door covered, but most notable of this all was Dan. Dan who was bent over a small table, three fingers inside himself, stretching himself open and moaning loudly.

~Phil walked over, slapping Dan;s ass hard and making him squeak. “You better shut the fuck up slut. Or everyone in this damn prison is going to hear you acting like a fucking whore for me. Do you want tha Danny? Knowing you I bet you would. Everyone here to know your ass belongs to me, that pretty pink cunt is for me and me only to stretch open and fucking ruin.” he smacked his ass again, gripping the soft skin. “Isn’t that right baby?” He asked.

~Dan only moaned in response, feeling another harsh slap to his ass after he didn’t respond properly. “Fuck! Yes yes you’re right daddy! I want everyone to know I’m yours.” He admitted.

~Phil chuckled, flipping Dan around and pushing him to his knees. “No lube baby. Guess you’ll just have to get my cock wet enough with that beautiful mouth of yours.” He smirked, lifting Dan’s chin to make eye contact.

~Dan nodded, unbuckling his belt and undoing his jeans as quick as his fingers would let him. He tugged down his pants, mouthing over him through his boxers slowly. He kept looking up at Phil, wide innocent eyes, as if he was doing nothing arousing whatsoever. Phil groaned quietly, the cold air hitting his hard cock as Dan pulled him free from his boxers.

~Dan slowly licked up the side, putting on a show almost, wanting to do his absolute best, but still be a tease in the process. He swirled his tongue around his tip, wrapping his lips around him and slowly bobbing down. He kept a slow pace, taking Phil into his mouth and swiping his tongue over his slit every time he came back up.

~Phil tangled his fingers into Dan’s hair, pushing him down with force and watching Dan hollowing his cheeks to accommodate him, speeding up his movements. Dan bobbed his head quickly, his tongue working over every inch of his cock, making sure he’d be slicked up enough to fuck him painlessly before Phil pulled him off. He wiped the spit dripping from his mouth, the taste of precum stuck to his tongue in a way that made him even more desperate to be filled up and fucked hard.

~Phil pulled him up by the hair, pushing him over the desk and smacking his ass once more. He slowly rubbed his tip over his slightly gaping hole, pushing in just the tip before pulling out again. “You know the drill, I’m sure..” He smirked.

~Dan whimpered, looking back at him and blinking, his lips parted and his thighs starting to shake, his breathing unsteady. “Daddy please..I love being your toy. Letting you fuck me, mark me, break me, cum deep inside me. Please. Make me yours.” He whined, and that was all it took for Phil to slam in.

~Dan cried out, tears brimming in the corner of his eyes, pain and pleasure, along with his tears, clouding his vision as he looked back at Phil. He rocked his hips back, letting himself adjust but wanting more already. Phil smirked, pulling out and slamming back in not too long after, another loud and whiny moan passing Dan’s parted lips.

~Phil gripped his ass, watching himself slide in and out of the younger male, his hips pushing back against him with each hard thrust. “So good for me baby..” He gripped with both hands, kneading his ass as he sped up his thrusts, steadily slamming into him over and over again, his hips hitting against Dan’s ass with each rough thrust into him.

~Dan was struggling to stay silent, moaning loudly, the whole room smelling of sex, and the only noise to be heard in the whole area his loud, porn star moaning. Phil leaning forward, wrapping his hand around Dan’s throat and choking him. “Shut the fuck up!” He hissed, listening to Dan choke on his own moans, silencing significantly but still sounding beautiful with his symphony of whorish moans.

~Phil kept slamming in, hitting his prostate dead on each time with precision, as if he still knew exactly where to hit to drive Dan wild. “You sound like such a fucking whore all for me baby..” He leaned down to bite his earlobe, smirking. “Letting me fuck your pretty little cunt, making such loud noises for me baby. How did I ever get so lucky?” He praised, listening to Dan have to stifle another loud moan, the pressure on his throat increasing along with his arousal from what Phil was saying.

~Phil tugged down softly at his earlobe, tightening his grip on his throat as he grew closer, the pressure building in his lower stomach. He let go of Dam’s throat, hearing him gasp and moan as he tried to get his breath back. He reached down, wrapping his hand around Dan’s cock tightly and stroking in time with his harsh erratic thrusts.

~Dan cried out, getting louder as the same heat built in his stomach, signifying he was getting closer with every hard thrust against his spot and every harsh tug on his leaking cock. He moaned loudly, hearing Phil let out a soft noise under his breath, coming hard inside of the younger male.

~Phil panted gasping a little as he came hard inside of him, thrusting through his orgasm and feeling Dan tighten around him, the younger male closing his eyes and letting out a long drawn out moan as he came as well, bucking his hips into Phil’s hand to ride out his own orgasm.

~After they had both calmed down they laid against each other, naked and in a small cramped closet, breathing heavy. Eventually they started getting dressed, kissing and saying quick goodbyes since everyone was going to come in soon.

~Dan walked away, a smile on his face and putting his hand in his jumpsuit pockets, feeling a slip of paper in his pocket. He opened it and smiled even wider. “I missed you. Maybe we could do this again sometime?” 


A/N: Alright. I wrote this while my little brothers were all next to me playing video games on my tv. So, I’m going to hell, essentially. I hope you like this! It’s 2.9 k of dirtiness. I’ve been watching OITNB lately so this was written literally bc of that not gonna lie.

The Club

Characters: Dean x Reader

Summary:  Reader and Dean go undercover at a strip club

Word Count:  2406

Warnings: Extreme over usage of the word ‘fuck’, smut

As always, feedback is welcomed and appreciated.  Tags are at the bottom.

Originally posted by acklesjensen

The Club

Dean holds out a pink shopping bag. “I had to guess the size,” he says, “but I think it’ll fit.”

Hesitantly, you take it. Moving aside the tissue paper, you pull out the lacy g-string and bra. Can you even call it a bra? It’s two barely-there triangles of fabric held together with flimsy string. At the bottom of the bag are stiletto heels. It’s so tiny, there’s no way it’s the right size.

“Uh-uh,” you shake your head, shoving everything back into the bag. “No fucking way.”  

Dean gives you an exasperated look. “We’ve been over this. It’s the best way to get information. And our guy targets strippers. You chat up the girls that work in the club while I keep an eye on the audience.”

Yeah, you bet he’ll be keeping an eye on things. On all those scantily clad women with perfect fucking bodies that look nothing like you. You’ll be wearing next to nothing with all eyes on you, including Dean’s. It’s pretty much the most mortifying thing you can think of. If only it were Sam going with you to the club, at least you’d feel a little less anxious. It’d still be embarrassing for Sam to see you nearly naked, gyrating on a stage in front of a crowd of men, but it’s Sam. He’s the safe brother. He’s not the one that makes you feel hot and cold at the same time. He’s not the one that makes your heart race every time he’s within your reach. He’s not the one that you think about when you touch yourself at night.

“Listen,” Dean says, clapping a hand on your shoulder. It’s meant to be a reassuring gesture, but it only makes you more anxious. “We’ve all had to play roles that we didn’t want to, but you got this. I’ll be there the whole time. Here.”  

He hands you another bag, this one filled with scented lotion, glitter body spray and a shit-ton of makeup. “For real?” you ask.

“Trust me,” he says with a smug grin. “I’m an expert on strippers.”

Keep reading

Always Love You

Peter Parker x reader

Plot- gonna skip this today cause i feel like it would ruing the story if you knew what was going on so, it s a surprise

Warnings- language like usual, angst

A/n ok so im like super proud of this cause I’ve had this idea for a really long time and i like how it turned out. Let me know what you think!!!

~~


You sighed, leaning forward on the counter and tapping your fingers against the wood, leisurely scrolling through tumblr to pass the time at your job. You were bored out of your mind. Every Friday, you worked the night shift at the small little coffee shop you worked at. It was easy, hardly anyone came in at night, and you were allowed to drink a few coffee’s to keep your eyes open, so it wasn’t anything too bad. Plus, there was the extra cash, so.

But, above all, there was one major plus in working the night shift, and that was your friendly neighborhood Spiderman. He came by to buy a coffee once, you ended up talking for hours, and it just kinda became a thing between you two. Eventually he would bring some snacks, as you often got hungry in the night, and you would sit together and drink coffee and eat snacks with him. Well, you ate, he refused to lift his mask that high, and you respected him as to not lose his trust. Of course you wondered who he was, when you first became friends it killed you (not to mention something about his voice was so familiar), but you accepted his secret and let it be.

To be honest, you really enjoyed his company and looked forward to these Friday nights. You didn’t know how many times you had refused to skip a week of the night shift in order to go out on a Friday with your friends. They all eventually learned to plan their nights out on Saturday. You didn’t want to ditch Spiderman, or have him worry. He had freaked out once when you were sick, thinking something had happened to you, and you thought it was really sweet. You worried about him too, a lot considering what he did. He rushed off all the time in the middle of your conversations, and most of the time you wouldn’t see him until next week. Of course you would see on the news that he was fine and had taken down the threat, and that would put you at ease until the next time it happened.

It was dumb, and you knew it was, but you couldn’t help but have a little bit of a crush on him. He was sweet and kind to you, and you loved being around him. You knew you had no chance, you didn’t even know his name for god’s sake, but it was a nice thought. Not, that you thought about it often. You definitely didn’t daydream about him romantically taking off his mask and taking you into his arms before kissing you and-…no, you definitely didn’t think about that.


A few months ago, the light almost silent sound of someone landing outside your stand would have scared the shit out of you, especially at this time of night. But you were more than used to it now, and smiled as you turned around and saw the mask of your favorite superhero.

“Hey Spidey,” you leaned on the edge of the counter to greet him before turning to make his usual espresso, “Slow night?”

“Ya, but hey I’m not complaining. In this business, you don’t want a busy night.” he said with a dorky giggle at the end.

You had to stop yourself from swooning. God, he was just so cute!

“Can’t argue with that.” you handed him the coffee, and as usual, he tried to hand over the money but you pushed it back, “How many times do I have to tell you, Superheroes drink free.” You winked.

Although you couldn’t see his face, you had a feeling he was smiling, you could tell from his voice.

“Thanks (Y/n). So how’s your week been?” he asked.

You went into the usual retelling of your week, as he listened intently, lifting his mask just enough to get the straw under and to his mouth. He then followed with his own stories from the week, which you often argued was the more interesting part of your conversation but he insisted he liked yours better.

“But by far the worst part was when this dude tried to tase me.” he chuckled, and you too couldn’t contain your own giggles. Just imagining him swinging around trying to avoid getting tased.

“Hey, it’s not funny. See, this is the kind of thanks I get for trying to protect you citizens. I was promised the pretty girls would be swooning over me, but instead all I get is laughed at.”

You only laughed harder, until his words processed in your minds, “Wait, you think I’m pretty…?” you trailed off, your amused smile turning to a hopeful one, and you prayed he didn’t pick up on it.

His whole body seemed to go rigid for a split second as he himself realized what he had said, “Uh, I um- I mean uh-” he floundered for a moment, reaching up and running the back of his neck while looking anywhere but at you as he tried to gather his thoughts. Then he froze, looking off into the distance.

You knew that look. His spidey-senses were tingling.

And the moment was gone.

“It’s ok, go save the city.” You smiled, playfully nudging his shoulder.

He looked at you, and you wished you could see the emotions on his face, but all you got was a rushed, “Bye (Y/n). See you next week.”

And it was over. Just like that, the best part of your week had gone by, and you would have to wait a whole seven days before you got it again.

During rest of your shift, and the moments up to when you fell asleep that night, all you thought about was him. Or, more specifically, what would have happened between you and him if he hadn’t had to go at that moment. That night you dreamt of him, or at least someone like him.


Slamming your locker shut, you dropped your head onto the cool metal, “I definitely bombed that test.”

“Same.” your friend mumbled, her eyes fixated on her phone.

“Seriously am I crazy or was that nothing like the study guide?”

“Both.” she winked as you began to walk towards your car.

You laughed, climbing into the driver’s seat as she got into the passengers.

Looking through the rearview mirror, you froze as you saw an oh so familiar car pulling up.

It was Tony Starks. Or, rather, his drivers, coming by like he did every Monday to pick up Peter.

You felt the air drain out of you as you saw Peter run out of the school and into the car, the tinted windows preventing you from seeing anything else.

You gripped the steering wheel and tore your eyes away, looking down. It was ridiculous really. It’s been so long. Why did it still hurt so bad just seeing him?

“Hey,” you felt a comforting hand on your arm, “Does it still hurt that much?” she asked.

She was right to be surprised, it had been almost two months since you broke up with Peter, and as bad as you wanted to, you just couldn’t move on. It was like something was keeping you hung up on him.

He was the first significant other you had really loved, but you never even got the chance to say it. After just over a year of being together, he began to grow distant. He would disappear, miss dates, ignore texts and calls. And the weirdest part was when he would show up with random bruises and cuts. No matter how much you begged, he wouldn’t explain. According to Aunt May, he was sneaking out at night and not coming home till the morning. Not to mention his sudden friendship with Tony Stark, which he claimed was an internship, but he never went into too much detail about it.

It was all just too much. The lies and excuses drove you insane, and you eventually forced yourself to end it. He had just stared at you with huge eyes when you did it, and you knew if he had simply asked you to stay, you would have. But he didn’t ask. And you didn’t stay.

“I don’t want to talk about it.” you mumbled, putting the car into drive and pulling out of the parking lot.


Standing by the window of your coffee stand, you impatiently tapped a beat into the counter. Your coworker was 30 minutes late with no explanation as to why, which meant you were stuck here until her or your boss showed up, whichever happened first. It was almost 9, and you had a crap load of homework to do, but you were stuck in the goddamn stand.

You folded your arms before resting your head on them. A few minutes passed before you heard the sound of a car pulling up.

When you looked up, and saw a van about twenty feet from the stand.

The side door slid open.

“What the hell…?” you mumbled,  standing up straight.

As soon as the words left your mouth, a man jumped out and began firing at the stand with a machine gun.

You shrieked, and dropped to the ground, covering your head.

The firing didn’t stop, and you began to crawl towards the back door, but as you reached the door knob, it was pulled open. A man stood outside, and grabbed you, pulling you to your feet and dragging you along with him.

He pushed you forward to the center of the group that had exited the van. They didn’t seem like anyone special, just a group of very scary looking people.

You tripped and just barely kept your balance, looking around at the circle that had formed around you.

“Well, what are you waiting for? Call him!” a girl spat at you.

“W-what?” you stammered, “I don’t know what your talking about please-”

“Don’t play dumb with us. You dont think no one’s noticed the Spiderman coming here every week? He obviously knows you and unless you call him here the next time he sees ya is gonna be in a body bag!”

You flinched back, tears filling your eyes, “I don’t, I don’t know who he is he just stops by to talk i really don’t-” you screamed as one of the fired into the air.

“Just kill the crying bitch. Leave her as a warning- mmh!” His mouth was suddenly covered in webs before he was kicked in the face.

“Is that really how you talk to a lady?” a familiar voice asked, standing over the guy as he webbed him up.

There was yelling and a lot of  gunshots, then for some reason you were laying on the ground.

You could hardly keep up with the red and blue blur that was Spiderman. Watching him fight was mesmerising, nothing like listening to his retellings of it. He always down played his feats.

Then all at once there was a pain in your stomach, and you couldn’t contain your scream of pain. It was like nothing you had felt before.

“(Y/n)? (Y/n)! Open your eyes!”

When had you closed your eyes? Nevertheless, you opened them and saw the masked face you had grown to close too. He had pulled you into his lap and was gently moving your hair out of your face.

“What…what happened?” you breathed.

“You were shot oh god (Y/n) I’m so sorry this is all my fault I should’ve come faster or better yet just never let them get to you in the first place just just stay awake ok Mr Stark is bringing help he’ll fix you oh god-” you couldn’t quite hear the rest of his rambles, but instead focused on the increasing feeling of familiarity. His voice,  it made you feel comfortable, and safe, and reminded you of better times. You felt happy, closing your eyes, listening to the sound of his voice, and leaning into his touch. It was soft and loving. And for some reason, Peter was all you could think about. Peter. Why him, why now? Why was he the one?

You could hear him calling your name.

Peter.

Or, was it Spiderman.

You couldn’t bring yourself to open your eyes to check.

And as you slipped into unconsciousness, there was only one thing on your mind.

Peter.

~

He felt sick.

He felt tired.

He felt like he had died.

But he wasn’t the one who had gotten hurt.

He sat in the hospital room, everything a sterile, too bright white. The only thing keeping him together was the sound of the heart monitor. Your heart monitor.

He didn’t want to look at you, he had already seen your skin, which was strikingly pale. He had already seen your face, with dry lips and a tube to help you breath. He had already seen your bandged up stomach, where the bullet wou d had been.

He just wanted to see your eyes. For you to be awake.

But until then, he didn’t want to see you because then it became too real.

He did this too you, and it was killing him.

The door opened,  and peter didn’t have to look up to know who it was.

Mr Stark placed a comforting hand on his shoulder, “Here kid, you gotta eat something.” he place a box on the table next to them.

Peter stayed silent, so he spoke again, “All those times you went on and on about (Y/n) I figured the first time I would be meeting her would be at the engagement party.” he said, trying to lift the mood.

“She wasn’t even my girlfriend.” Peter simply said, keeping his gaze on the floor.

“What? I thought you said-”

“She broke up with me. Because I was keeping secrets. I didn’t tell her cause I thought she would be in danger if I did. And I took her for granted and she broke up with me.” he paused for a moment and Tony heard his sniffling, “But I love her and I couldn’t stay away so I was being selfish and talking to her as Spiderman. And I fell in love with her all over again. And I was an idiot and I almost killed her.”

The room was silent, the steady beating of your heart the only thing making noise.

“You’re right, you were an idiot. You can’t protect people by keeping them in the dark. But this isn’t your fault, kid. You did everything you could, and she isn’t dead, just injured. So my advice is to tell her the truth and pray she’ll take you back when she wakes up. This life isn’t worth losing someone you love over. Trust me.” Tony stood, sympathetically patting his shoulder again, before leaving the room.

For the second time since he had gotten to the hospital, he brought his tear filled eyes up to look at you.

He had missed you more than words could describe. When you broke up with him, he felt his heart breaking, and he hadn’t been able to make himself saying anything. He regretted that everyday. If he had just asked, would he have been able to make you stay?

He took your limp hand in his.

He wanted nothing more but to hold you again, kiss you again.

Finally tell you he loved you.

But for now, this was as close as he could get.

He would just have to wait and hope.


~~


What do you think?? Is it good? Let me know, i love you all!!

Muse

Originally posted by sugutie

Genre: Smut, fluff, angst (it will contain smut in the next parts)

a/n: The story will have another part. So dont worry, im not cutting you off

Description:Jungkook is a  photography major in collaage. Every girl likes him yet he only has eyes for his camera, until he -even tho he hasnt realized it yet-  finds his muse.

Part1 Part 2  Part3

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Sirius x Reader: Potter Plans

Warnings: no ?

Requested: Yes

A/N: I’M BAAAACK!! It’s the 2 month anniversary of this account and we’re a squad of 523… a number I never thought I’d reach let alone reach in 2 months so thank you my lovelies xx I thought I’d greet this 2 month hiatus return with a hella long imagine x so enjoy reading and send me imagine requests (i’m only answering ships every thurs) xx

“Sirius wins.” You announced, standing up from your leaning position on the wall.

“No way!” James protested, panting.

“I have an unfair advantage. You see these cheekbones? Aerodynamically suited for speed.” Sirius said, somehow he said it seriously. ‘Well those cheekbones are sharp’, you found yourself thinking.

You rolled your eyes and started walking around the sofa, spotting Lily as you did so. “Hey Lils.” You smiled.

“Hey, oh sit, I want to ask you something.”

You winked at James who was practically drooling over Lily and sat down. Eventually, you’d satisfactorily answered her question and you were free to go.

“How do you do it?” James asked immediately as you sat down.

“Well, you see, I bend my knees and let gravity pull me to my seat. It’s-”

“Shut up, you know what I mean.”

Remus had started sniggering at his friend’s stupidity. James shot Remus a threatening glare, stopping him immediately and went back to his book.

You giggled slightly and continued chatting, “Just talk to her like she’s a normal person.”

“I’ve been trying!” He groaned. In all the years you had known James, you’d never seen him act like this about a girl- ‘if only Sirius felt like this about me’ you thought.

Sirius came back from his shower shortly after, shooing Remus further over the sofa so he could sit in his favourite spot that, coincidentally, was next to you.

At around 11, you finally felt your eyes grow heavy and flutter shut, falling asleep next to Sirius.

Sirius admired you as you slept, unaware of his surroundings, he loved everything about you and you just seemed more beautiful lit by the fire: your eyelashes cast soft shadows over your cheekbones, your lips were slightly parted and your brows slightly furrowed.

And James watched as his best friend admired another, both so painfully obviously in love yet so blind to it.

You stirred slightly, breaking both boys reverie, Sirius shot up and announced he was going to bed. You waved him good night sleepily and was about to go to bed yourself when James pounced a question on you.

“Does Lily like me?”

“You know she does you twat. She just doesn’t want to give in, she has no reason to, you’re always available to her.”

James looked as though he was going to defend himself but thought better of it.

A familiar look spread across his tanned face and you straightened up, “Potter, I know that look, stop, no.”

“You like Sirius.” you spluttered from shock but James merely continued, “I like Lily. They like us back. We need to make them jealous.”

“Fuck off.” You whinged, not in the mood for a ‘Potter Plan’ as you and Eudaimonia called them.

“Nah, hear me out. We pretend to date, they get jealous and boom, love is in the air.” James looked at you triumphantly, the look not faltering when you glared back.

“Ew, gross, no. You’re like my brother.”

“Calm down, it’s not like I’d ever date you.”

“Doing great, dear.”

“You know what I mean.”

You paused, pondering the idea, and took a deep breath, “Until Friday.”

“Won’t take longer than 2 days.”

Keep reading

distractions » jjk » m

» request: plus size reader w jungkook ?? maybe kookie is a basketball player and the reader is a cheerleader? also: smutttt, thanks !!!

» genre: smut

» author’s note: i love plus size reader fics tbhhhh. i need more of them. also this felt so long to write but it’s not even that long :/// and i might make a plus size reader series if you all like this enough, so be sure to let me know! i love you honeybuns~~

» word count: 3.6k+

» warnings: plus size reader, basketball au, body worship, fingering, dirty talk, unprotected sex, etc.

[nsfw under the cut]

A discontented groan sounds from the back of your throat as you pull your uniform on, a frown gracing your features as you realize the skirt is too small. The length is almost an inch too short, leaving your ass free to see. You swear under your breath, striding to the front of the locker room where your coach stands, chatting with the cheerleading captain.

“Coach, do we have another size up in the bottoms?” You ask, frowning as her eyes travel to your exposed rear end. She shakes her head with a scowl on her face, “Wear your safety shorts, Y/L/N.” She instructs, waving you off and turning back to the captain. You sulk back to your locker and look through for your safety shorts, sliding them on. Even your safety shorts have grown a bit too small, the very bottom of your asscheeks peaking out from the bottom of the thin white cloth. 

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Secure My Services (M)

↠ ceo!namseok x reader; 5.8k; using their ties as a leash; lots of dirty talk and hickies and all that
warning: smut (daddy kink, sir kink, kitten kink, blindfolds, leashes, threesome, slight breath play?, it’s all just nasty read with caution)

“How about we try this, kitten. I’ll fuck you until you can’t even remember anyone else who’s been with you before, and you can give your daddy a blowjob better than anyone else has, hm?”

Originally posted by taestylips

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