does this even make any sense no i do not think so

It’s important to pay attention to how you pay your attention. 

I have a tendency to overanalyze. A consequence of this is that if I find myself unhappy (and I can’t figure out why) I get stuck in a looping lack of action. Thus rendering my time and attention ineffective because I’m just sitting and stewing (Kitchen!) instead of admitting and doing (rhymes!). 

But answers aren’t always clear. Especially when you’re having a hard time pinning down the question. So I think that maybe there’s a way to answer questions of happiness by taking a step back from the questions themselves and looking at the pattern of thought itself. 

If you’re feeling generally unhappy and can’t put your finger on a tangible reason then try to keep track of where your mind wanders when you’re free of distraction. 

Does this make sense to you guys? It’s not a solution or even any advice really… just sharing that sometimes I think that our feelings and moods can be a bit foggy and we can’t always see where the bumps are coming from. So maybe there’s something to be done zooming out on the weather-map of your life to see which parts are overcast. At least that gives you a direction to start.


RvB PSA: Trigger Warnings

Here’s my two cents on the video.

In the video you have Doc talking for trigger warnings, and it’s nailed right on the head. Grif & Sarge just banter back & forth for a bit about why it makes no sense to TW their content as the show already has a rating anyway, plus their banter was very playful, it wasn’t malicious at all. And also Sarge makes a point that if they do TW their show then they will lose a majority of the audience/fans which would then result in their longest running show, loved by many to basically flop and I don’t think they want that. And they’re a production company so they don’t want that to happen meaning they’re gonna have to make decisions that upset someone because they can’t please everyone.

As for the rape joke, it wasn’t a joke about rape in the slightest so does it even need to be discussed? They turned the word into an acronym and didn’t joke about the topic of rape in the slightest at all, they barely touched it.

The “triggers” they use for each character are even some I’ve seen that are just beyond ridiculous, there’s nothing there that’s them making fun of PTSD (like some said) or depression or anxiety or anything that people have claimed they basically made fun of. I’m not saying all TW’s are ridiculous but I’ve literally see one for the colour blue & I think for so many people that makes absolutely no sense at all, they didn’t pick out these certain triggers and berate them individually either. 

Grif also makes a good point that if they do TW RvB then everything they say will have to be called a trigger which then decreases any entertainment value they have since that particular show is known for crude humour. Grif also mentions how some triggers aren’t even helping people, if it’s that bad for them then they need to go seek some help so they can live their lives & I don’t see anything wrong with that, he also didn’t say it in a malicious way. 

One of the “triggers” they made for the PSA was Gavin Free. None of this was in any way malicious, it was done with hilarity/satire, to also spread a message. Grif also makes a point that TW’s basically coddle people, which in a roundabout way doesn’t actually help people tackle the problem they have, because it will always be there when you enter the outside world. 

Donut sums it up as RvB is what it is, it’s crude humour, it’s been known for that since 2003, and the majority are fine with it & sadly those are the people they cater to since there’s more of them & people who use TW’s are an extremely small minority. He also says how TW’s are a nice thing to do, but everyone already knows the way RvB is, so the point is if it’s affecting your mental health then do steer clear of the show. 

And as for the comment section comment made, they’re pointing out how the comments are just gonna be a shitstorm as always. I get why people are gonna be upset as it seems like RT hate you, but I promise you they don’t hate you for having a TW, I think they’re getting to a point where they are tired of people telling them to censor/tag stuff as people should know this is what the show has always been about & it’s not easy to start doing that. It really wasn’t a personal attack on the fans.

Life would be so much easier if I could hate Furuya you know?



His intentions are so pure and straightforward and what the hell he’s come a long way from that kid from the start who couldn’t even fathom that there are actual people he can trust when he’s on the mound

What the fuck this made me emotional :( Polar bear just wants to be the best for this team. 


Okay but I think here lies Furuya’s mistakes lately? He’s trying to shoulder everything? Am I right? Am I wrong? WHO KNOWS, ALL I KNOW IS T-SENSEI WANTS TO RIP ME APART _(」∠ 、ン、)_

Ok, I don’t give a F about OUAT anymore, but this makes me so mad!

Regina: “He doesn’t like you, does he?”
Emma: “He thinks I’m not good enough for Hook.”

The hell is with this dialogue? Not only it doesn’t make any sense that Hook’s brother doesn’t like Emma without even knowing her (like the woman went to the underworld to rescue your brother’s stinky ass and you are complaining?), but Emma sounds like she actually agrees with that thought.

WHO THE FUCK IS H00K? He is no one! He is a Pirate that wasted hundreds of years in a stupid revenge. He is a man without honor, or skills or brains. In fact he is so brainless that literally every villain so far has manipulated him somehow, and he can’t do anything to stop them. He doesn’t even have a ship, a job or anything that could be considered valuable. He is just a pretty face that’s all.

Emma, SHE IS THE FUCKING SAVIOR! That should be enough to describe her really. She is honest, caring, smart, strong, and good at her job, a good mother, a good daughter and friend. Why in the hell the show even shows this sentiment? The worst part is that clearly is H00k who has the upper hand in this relationship. In the preview, he says that maybe he should move forward. I might not be a C$ shipper and wish that boat to sink into the Mariana Trench, but Emma went to the underworld to save this fucker and now the ungrateful bastard wants to stay to what? Spite her? How come a man without any redeeming qualities is the one once again deprecating women, when this show is suppose to be about strong female characters!?


anonymous asked:

Although I agree 100% with the whole Cursed Child forced heteronormativity thing, I do think that keeping race in mind is pretty important. Even though Rose/Scorpius is super heteronormative, it's still got to be great for a lot of little girls of color to see themselves as desired and loved by the hero, considering we so rarely get that. Of course it would've been better if they'd actually developed that romance instead of having it be a last minute no-homo. Just something to consider

Yeah I’m not against that ship based on those reasons. Before reading the play I was SO ready to pair Rose and Scorpius together.

I just hate the whole girl-shows-no-interest-yet-guy-persists-and-they-fall-in-love trope. 

There was literally no justification for that relationship to be implied at the end whatsoever. Nothing. Rose has never showed any interest in Scorpius. If she had it would make sense. But all she does is express dislike for him. It comes from absolutely nowhere. 

I totally get what you are saying and I agree it would be great in terms of race, but unless Rose actually shows she likes him then it feels like this uncomfortable forced thing and just unbearably heteronormative. 

Also Rose deserved so much better than simply being Albus’s cousin and Scorpius’s no-homo moment. Where even was she in this play? I don’t get why she wasn’t involved in the story more. 

The whole thing makes me sad to be honest. Genuinely sad. 

Ok, so a quick note regardless of whether that interview where Suga said something about his ideal type not being limited to girls was a mistranslation or not (and honestly even if it was slightly mistranslated I don’t think that really changes the fact that Yoongi pretty obviously seems to view girls and his sexuality different than some of the other guys do (and also still wrote about pleasing men and women in Cypher pt. 3) but that’s a bit of a different topic).

When people are talking about idols potentially actually being queer, especially when queer fans are talking about it, it’s really not the best time to bust out the OMG MY OTP IS REAL talk. Queer fans are excited about potentially having an idol who they can relate to in terms of sexuality, which given the lack of queer representation in most media (not just Korean), is a big fucking deal, and making this about Yoonmin or Yoonseok or Sugamon or any of that is kinda missing the point here and honestly seems kinda…disrespectful, I guess?

Like, it’s find to keep shipping Yoonmin or w/e. It’s fine to talk about it, but it’s not really cool to make this interview about Yoonmin. But the fact that Yoongi might be queer isn’t important because that means that Yoonmin is one step closer to being possible, it’s important because an idol being open about being queer would be a huge deal on its own. 

imagine the smithsonian finding letters to bucky from steve:

they’re one sided and steves copies from bucky were lost so they contain fragmented replies that news sites speculate upon and fics are written about:

*no I didn’t lick the stamps so you can calm down but if it’s any consolation I did carry them in my pocket for half a day
*if you keep using socks for that they’ll stay stiff
*why would I wear your jacket? it’s not the right size & I won’t melt in the rain, bucky
*in response to the question about sleeping problems, yes & thinking about that only makes them worse
*I do remember that day, mainly because of a black eye and what happened after we went to your place. your ma still hasn’t forgotten by the way. I can tell by the looks she gives me.
*that was the night we spent on couch cushions on the floor, woke up all stiff
*I can’t breathe very well since you’ve been gone, you know how much it kills me to admit that so don’t rub it in 
*I didn’t mean to say that your handwriting is messy, your letters are just late is all. blame the postman
*heard someone humming that song you used to sing in the bath, it’s stuck in my head now so thanks for that
*can’t believe you messed the lyric up. it’s “I’d work and toil all day just to come home to you” or something along those lines, not foil

after steve comes out of the ice he tries to get them back because dear god they’re embarrassing and he can remember exactly what each one was about. some were innocent, most were not and he knew back then that bucky could fill in the blanks on his own. 

years later the winter soldier visits the smithsonian and tries his damnest to read between the lines, maybe he’s imagining things. maybe they were actually innocent. he takes six brochures with steve’s face on the front, one of which has a photocopy of a skinnier shorter steve. that one is his favorite.


They’re gonna have so much fun.

Will is excited,Nico is nervous and Grover is confused.Fun,fun,fun!

Truly though,Will did show a bunch of insecurities about his abilities in Blood of Olympus, so I thought it would make sense for him to go on a quest and find that hey,he does have skills that would make him invaluable as a demigod.You’ll never know if you don’t try right?

And they are going with Grover because I miss Grover and also it is like a rite of passage,no?(Like Percy and Annabeth)

Please click on the individual images to read the words,the composition has become awful!

This comic took some time to make so I hope the quality is good and that the story is understandable.If you don’t understand it,let me know!

And last,if you notice any mistake, please look away!!! 。 (´ ω `) 。

And last last,thanks to @phikee bc she is the sweetest person who discussed ideas,motivated me and gave me the inspiration to do this.She doesn’t even ship Solangelo though, that traitor.

libfems calling themselves radfem as a way to reclaim radical feminism doesn’t even make sense. like if you’re a libfem, you don’t believe in radical feminist ideas in the first place - what is there to even reclaim?

like one of the core beliefs of radical feminism (aka root feminism) is that women’s entire lives are affected by misogyny - how does that line up with liberal feminism beliefs in any way? libfems think that a woman can just identify out of misogyny, so why would you even associate yourself with radical feminist ideas?

i don’t know if by “reclaiming” radical feminism they think actual radical feminism will just go away or what but it won’t lmao

Arzaylea: ‘People I went to high school with are literally doing what they were doing 5 years ago.’

Ummmm….. you don’t even have a job? And never even had one or any other type of adult responsibility? Like paying rent or bills? You are not getting through life by working for and earning the things you have like the rest of us but by scrounging off others who do work and achieve things by themselves?Where on earth did you get this sense of superiority that makes you think it’s ok to laugh that others who unlike you, are living in the real world and earning a living for themselves? You have nothing in your life that you worked for? Even your paid/sponsored Instagram posts and lip fillers came off the back of Luke’s and 5SOS’s popularity and not your own? 

Get a job and join the rest of us in reality because with that you’ll get a sense of what it’s like for someone who hasn’t taken advantage of others and leeched off them. You really should not be proud or happy to be a freeloader because it really is shameful. If Luke dumped you tomorrow where would you live? How would you provide for yourself? I suppose that’s where the safety net of Dad and your trust fund comes in? 

There’s More Than One Of You? (Requested)

I didn’t do the whole losing control/anchor thing on this one for one main reason: Derek already has an anchor. His anchor is his anger, which he has plenty in ply. I know Scott’s anchor changed after he lost Allison, but I don’t think Derek’s anchor would ever change. I don’t think that anger would ever truly go away since it was about his family and just his life in general. That’s just a part of who Derek is, even if he’s grown and that anger isn’t so omni-present anymore. Does that make any sense?

Anyway, here’s the imagine…


Upstairs in Derek’s loft, Scott is holding a pack meeting. There hadn’t been any trouble lately, but Scott liked to hold these little meetings just to keep the pack close to one another.

Just as Scott is wrapping things up, Stiles’ phone beeps. He looks down at the text from you before standing up. “Y/N is on her way up. We have to go meet up with my dad at the sheriff’s station.”

“Who the hell is Y/N?” Derek asks, wondering who Stiles had invited into his home now.

“I’m Y/N.” Everyone looks towards the open doorway to see you standing there, your hands placed firmly on your hips.

Derek stands up and crosses his very muscular arms over his chest. “And, who the hell are you?”

“She’s my older sister.” Stiles stands up and pushes his cell phone down into the pocket of his pants.

“Wait, there’s more than one of you?” Derek turns to look at Stiles, an amused grin on his face. Stiles makes a face, silently fake laughing at Derek’s best attempt at a joke.

“What is that supposed to mean?” You move your arms up and cross them across your chest while giving Derek a mean glare. It sounded like he was degrading your little brother, and that was not something you were okay with. You’d always been protective of Stiles, especially since your mother had passed away. And, right now, you were sensing that this personality trait was going to squarely pit you against Derek Hale, who you heard plenty about from Stiles.

Derek turns towards you and lets out a short, soft chuckle underneath his breath. “So, where have you been hiding? I can’t imagine it’s easy to outrun the stigma of being related to this one.” Derek points over his shoulder with his thumb towards Stiles.

“I was at this little place called college.” You reply in a sarcastic tone. “Some people actually move on and stop hanging out with teenagers and lurking around our old high school.”

“You are so related to Stiles.” Derek rolls his eyes while reaching up and rubbing at the permanent crease in his forehead.

“Do you have a problem with that?” You ask aloud, wondering what the hell this guy’s problem actually was.

Derek lets out another laugh under his breath. “Shouldn’t you?” He quickly retorts.

You take a deep breath, locking your jaw shut, as you turn on your heel to fully face your brother. “Ready to go?” You ask him, but Stiles knows by the tone of your voice that he doesn’t actually have a choice. You were both leaving.

As you turn back around and strut back out of Derek’s loft, Stiles following behind you, Derek watches you with careful eyes. “Well then, things just a little more interesting…” Derek mutters under his breath. The smallest hint of a smile seems to be pulling at the corner of his lips.


Being back home for the summer had been just what you needed. Your first few weeks back so far had been amazing. You had really missed your dad and Stiles so much while you’d been away and getting to hang out with them again felt just like the old days. The only bad thing about being home was running into Derek Hale at ever turn. You had been willing to put your first impression of him behind you and start over, but every time you saw Derek, he just seemed more surly and sour than the time before.

One afternoon when you come home from catching up with a few old friends, you find Scott and Stiles in the living room playing video games. “Don’t you two have anything better to do?” You ask while letting your body fall back onto the couch beside your brother.

Scott, who’s sitting on a nearby chair, glances back at you. “No one, or should I say nothing, is threatening Beacon Hills right now. We need to take our downtime when we can.” He smiles back at your cheekily.

You had been made aware of the very realness of the supernatural world after your brother had been possessed by a thousand year old trickster spirit. You still found the whole thing to be bizarre and weird, but you had also just grown to accept it. Stiles wasn’t possessed anymore, and you knew that Scott was one of the good guys. You weren’t worried about your brother or Scott, who was like another little brother to you.

“And, you’re not even being stalked by an overgrown sour wolf… It must really be a good day for you two.” You tease the two teenagers.

Stiles chuckles underneath his breath, loving that you felt the exact same way about Derek that he did. “Derek’s not that bad.” Scott tells you over his shoulder as he pushes down hard on one of the buttons on the controller in his hand.

“He’s an ass.” You tell Scott point blank, not pulling your punches.

Stiles nods his head in agreement with you while he goes for the kill, pushing down on the buttons. Once he’s succeeded in beating Scott in whatever game they’re playing, he throws his controller down before lifting his arms up in the air. “Victory!” He exclaims excitedly.

Scott ignores his best friend while he turns around to look at your fully now. “He’s like that because he likes you.”

“That’s crazy.” You shake your head at Scott. “He loves to drive me insane every time we’re in the same vicinity… which is kind of a lot surprisingly.” You add on, thinking about all the times you’ve run into Derek in the last couple weeks.

“I know what I’m talking about. I can smell it.” Scott taps his nose.

Stiles suddenly stops celebrating his win and looks at Scott. “Wait, he like… really likes her? I thought it was just a fleeting thing.” Stiles faces his best friend, registering the fact that Derek Hale, the wolf who loved to torment and tease him whenever he could, actually liked his big sister. Stiles then turns to suddenly look at you.

“And, you always run into Derek because he can smell you.” Scott purses his lips before adding in something else. “He’s tracking you and running into you on purpose.”

“Wow…” You whisper out under your breath while letting everything Scott had said sink in.


It had been a few days since you’d talked with Scott, and all you’d been able to think about was Derek and what Scott had told you. You didn’t want to admit it, but knowing that Derek liked you changed things. You went back and thought over every exchange the two of you had since you’d officially met him. Instead of Derek annoying you, you actually thought it was kind of cute. It was classic, like when grade school boys picked on the pig-tailed girls they liked.

So, after figuring out how you felt about it all, which was good, you decided to confront Derek about it all. But, unfortunately, Derek had chosen now to quit borderline stalking you, and you hadn’t seen him. You’d even gone to his loft, seeking him out, but he hadn’t been there.

After resigning yourself to spending your summer pining away after a guy who obviously got over you pretty quickly, you had decided to just hang out with your little brother for the day. You and Stiles were currently in front of a redbox, arguing over what movies to rent. “Stiles, I am not watching Spiderman again!” You tell him in an exasperated tone. “We’ve already rented in three times since I’ve been home.” You remind your little brother.

“Because it’s awesome!” Stiles rolls his neck while turning to face you.

“Not everyone is as lame as you, Stiles.” The voice, which sends shivers down your spine, surprises you.

You turn around to face Derek, who is standing directly behind you. “Hey.” You nervously smile up at him.

“Hi.” Derek turns his eyes away from Stiles to look at you.

Stiles, who is now standing behind you, looks up at Derek’s face, and he can see what’s happening between you two. “Oh no!” Stiles exclaims while jumping forward and then pulling you behind him. “Before any of this…” Stiles waves his arms around. “… happens, you and I need to have a talk.” Stiles waves a finger between himself and Derek.

“Are you going to threaten to beat me up if I hurt your sister?” Derek slowly lifts his arms, his giant, muscular arms, up and crosses them across his chest.

Stiles, whose eyes drift down to Derek’s arms, squints his eyes up at Derek while locking his jaw. “That’s my sister!” Stiles points back at you. “Be nice to her.”

You let out a soft chuckle underneath your breath, thinking Stiles’ protectiveness is adorable. “Stiles, I can handle myself.” You lift your hand and pull your brother back, away from Derek. Once the teenager is standing behind you, you take a step closer to Derek. “So, what are you going to do now that you’ve had a stern talking to?” You say, teasing Stiles just a little bit.

Derek lets out a soft laugh. “I was thinking we could not rent Spiderman, and maybe go back to my loft. Get to know each other a little more.” From behind you, Stiles clears his throat, not liking the sound of that. “I meant talking.” Derek lifts his eyes to look over your shoulder at Stiles.

“I think that sounds perfect.” You bite your lip, getting Derek’s attention again.

“Great.” Derek nods his head while turning and nodding towards his car. “Right this way.

You try not to let the smile on your face get too wide. Then, you look back at Stiles. “I’ll see you at home later.” You tell Stiles before letting Derek take your hand and lead you to his jeep.

“But…” Stiles just watches you leave before turning back to the machine in front of him. “I’m getting Spiderman then…” Stiles mumbles under his breath while tapping the screen with more force than necessary.

He doesn’t know how long he stands there, staring at the gaping hole where the elevator once was. He can’t will himself to move - not if it means he’ll only stagger backwards to fall back on weak knees and a broken heart. 

(If he had a heart but- that’s just the problem, isn’t it?)

His hand curls into a fist, hard enough that his rings bite into his skin but it’s a tad better than the alternative of leaving his fingers to hover mid air while he feels the burn of the absence of Emma’s hand in his. He keeps his lips squeezed together for good measure, too, lest he part them and forget the way she tasted (the salt of tears, and all). 

He isn’t sure what to do. Not with his body, not with himself. Perhaps, he thinks, he’s destined to spend eternity here, with his back against the rocks and his being so achingly numb. He wants to be angry, to blame Hades and curse up a storm. He wants to be angry, but he can barely move.

(The I love you, too rings in his head far too loudly to make sense of anything else but the echo of her voice.)

He pulls at the end of his jacket in a vain attempt to stop his hand from fidgeting, and he imagines Emma reaching her home safely. He imagines her boy and her parents - his friends - and for a split second, he feels his lips upturn at the thought of the love that surrounds her. The love that seems to follow her wherever she goes; the exact one that she had spread into his poor, bitter heart, reteaching him the happiness of living without vengeance.

Killian doesn’t regret it, any of it. He might not feel anything substantial, but he also feels no remorse, resolutely sure he would do everything the same way a thousand times over if given the chance. The deep, shaking breath he exhales leaves his body wracking with another sob, but then he finally, finally, manages a stumbling step forward. He may have not be alive, but that doesn’t mean he’s going to bind himself to this bloody rockface. 

He grants himself that small moment of weakness as he presses his fingers to his lips and screws his eyes shut. He will not see Emma again - and he doesn’t have a heart but he’s certain he feels a pang with the sense of loss. Perhaps, in another life. But now, he has a promise to keep to his true love, and he’s always been a man of his word, after all.

So there`s this drawing meme I`m doing.

It asked me to take my favorite character and draw him doing something ooc.

Take a straight forward, serious man, and make him do something no one could ever see him doing…

It seemed like an easy task, everyone sees him as a skilled, bad ass, no nonsense warrior.

but the more I thought about it.

the harder it became to think of something funny, or out of the box.

I mean, the series can get pretty weird at times, but my character never falters.

my hero is never forced to do anything out of the ordinary.

and he certainly does not take shit from anyone.

So why is it so hard to think of him doing something ooc?

Maybe.. because everything cannon about this man is ooc.

Piccolo is Akira Toriyama`s favorite character.

And just like any fan, he appreciates a little fan-service.

ok… a lot of fan service.

Yeah, really thinking about it.

Everything I can think of would make even Piccolo laugh, because he has a great sense of humor.

and is willing to do anything out of the ordinary, not just for the fans, but for himself.

so this image, most associated with piccolo is ooc. 

so always be yourself.  be ooc.

Seriously though, Ren is never seen being held by any of the boyfriends other than Koujaku and I think that’s so important. Not only does Koujaku hold him, but he does it CONSTANTLY throughout the game. Most importantly, Ren hops into Koujaku’s kimono while he’s carrying Aoba back to Glitter. There is absolutely no need for him to do that. When Aoba was carrying Tae home on his back, Ren was walking behind them and keeping pace perfectly fine.

That means Ren has done this before.

It means that at some point before the game, Koujaku had carried Ren around. That’s not a wild assumption either, given how he’s even depicted holding Ren on his lap in a piece of official art (a piece including all of the boyfriends, mind you).

It’s also important to note that Ren automatically powers down while around Koujaku. When Aoba and Koujaku share a scene together, Ren is almost always sleeping. I’m referring to the balcony scene, obviously, but also the beginning of Re:Connect. The second Aoba walks into Koujaku’s house, Ren makes a break for the windowsill to sunbathe. That’s unique to other routes, where Ren is just expected to be somewhere else during sex scenes. They didn’t need to specify that Ren was going into sleep mode; it was purely used to compliment the relationship.

What this all means, is that Ren trusts Koujaku. It’s not surprising since he does share Aoba’s early memories, and has known Koujaku for just as long. Not only does he trust Koujaku, but it appears that he wants to be close to him.

Koujaku is a part of Ren’s family, and he treats him as such.

“Do not worry about what other people think of you. The work I am doing in you is hidden at first. But eventually blossoms will burst forth, and abundant fruit will be born. Stay on the path of Life with Me. Trust Me wholeheartedly, letting My Spirit fill you with Joy and Peace.” do not ignore what God is telling you. be open to trusting His plan, even if it seems like it doesn’t make any sense. we wouldn’t have to trust if we knew everything. so be content knowing that we don’t have to know everything. we just have to trust the One who does

Made with Instagram

i’m always changing my mind and am never sure exactly what it is i want for kylo and rey narratively speaking but one thing i know i want for sure, however unrealistic, is the very slow and gradual purification of kylo’s feelings for rey. i think where we’re at now is (an admittedly thoughtless) obsession/fixation with her that gradually becomes tempered by a (healthy) curiosity and awe as he sees what she can do. and as a very sentimental person who’s very stuck on this idea i wanna see that obsession become gradually deeper, gentler, and softer. less selfish and demanding. so that very gradually it makes him all of those things too without him even knowing it. i want love to purify kylo ren.

and maybe i’m totally misreading kylo and this entire dynamic and projecting things onto this story that are not and never could be there (i probably am, i am okay?) but i still love this idea so much and no matter what i can’t seem to shake it. because even more than wanting kylo to be loved, i want him to learn to love again. and is that so unrealistic? we know he finds the light beautiful and attractive and that he has his whole life. despite all his best efforts, after all this time, he still feels the pull to the light. forgive me grandfather. i feel it again.

Again. he’s been fighting this battle for a long time and even though darkness seems to have the permanent upper hand in him, it’s truly a never-ending struggle. as a fan of good storytelling in general and great love stories in particular i think it would be so poetic and beautiful to have that struggle re-imagined in a different form in one person. except this time he loses. and he loses because everything he finds beautiful about the light is personified not in an abstract pull of the force but in a seemingly insignificant scavenger girl, real, human and bright. rey isn’t perfect but she is a bundle of contradictions. she is young, female and vulnerable as well as beautiful, fierce and skilled, perfectly capable of wreaking havoc when she wants to. she has a fire in her and a vulnerability. the same qualities kylo has except, whereas in him they have been twisted into something ugly so that they serve darkness, in her they are still relatively clear and straight like an arrow. there is a simplicity and innocence to her that makes her not perfect (as in without fault) but radiant

i don’t know. it makes sense to me that kylo would fall in love with her, really fall, in addition to or on top of or maybe even springing from his obsession and yet wholly different from it. rey is not the type to encourage obsession. in fact the appeal of this ship is that she draws a hard and fast line with what kylo is allowed to do or not do. there would be no swooning or falling at his feet. her presumed definite and total rejection of any potential obsessive advances on kylo’s part could lead to renewed wild obsession to conquer her and capture her so that he could have her for his own or, because it would have nowhere else to grow, it could lead to a purer love that sneaks up on him unexpectedly. it makes sense to me that once aware of it he would try to fight it, desperately, in the battle of his life, and that he would lose. there’s a chance too, however small, that after the battle was over the simple act of loving (not being loved) but just loving her, letting himself love the good and beautiful in her, could change him too even when, maybe even especially when, he knows he has nothing to gain. it would be a very transformative thing, this love, capable of healing kylo from the inside out, capable of restoring gentleness, compassion and light in him because that’s what real, unselfish love does.

 and i’m not saying it wouldn’t be painful or difficult or heartwrenchingly slow or that it wouldn’t be met by all kinds of obstacles because it would. and i would want it to be. suffering, maybe more than the love, is the key to change and redemption and it’s grueling and painful, like a crucible that melts metals down so they can be remade. love makes suffering not only bearable but (dare i say) beautiful too and glorious. suffering that’s been given meaning by love does not lead to hollowness and despair because the suffering is no longer an empty mockery. it’s not pain and misery for the sake of pain and misery but pain for the sake of love. not for what it can give you but because love, true love, makes you want to be a better person. it makes you want to change. what i’m trying to say is that i know that the only path for kylo’s redemption is through a painful and gruesome crucible of fire but i hope and believe that love will not only help him bear it but will become, could become, the driving force that makes him willing to take the plunge.

Your name is Luna and you are more
like the moon than the moon is
like the moon.
Does that make sense? I don’t know.
I never understood how a name could
be someone so entirely until
I met you.
Juliet was wrong, I think;
that which we call a rose by any
other word would not
smell as sweet.
But no, you’re right, you’re right.
What do I know of love, of passion?
I would not do for you what
Juliet did for Romeo.
So here - either she’s the one
with the clanking and nervous
heart, or I am.
What do you say, Luna?
But yes, maybe both are different
kinds of strength, different kinds
of weakness. You’re right.
But you see - I would not die for you.
However, I would live for you.

And sometimes -
sometimes that’s even harder.
—  – Darshana S“Luna”

i just got back home and it’s 6:10 pm and i have a lot of homework and things to do and i’m completely tired out aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

thoughts from my first day of school:

  • the people in my ap psych class intimidate me
  • my spanish 2 teacher intimidates me, but she seems sweet at the same time?? does that make any sense??
    • i also realized that i forgot like 90% of my spanish
  • i found my spanish 1 teacher from last year and we just talked for like 15 minutes after school and it was so nice and i felt so happy
  • from the very start of ap bio, we started taking notes and doing kahoot and watching bio videos and started a lab. i was definitely not expecting that, but apparently, it’s only going to get even faster.
  • i think i like all of my teachers? so far?
  • i forgot how much i actually have to walk in school

i’m off to eat dinner + do homework now :’)

Everyone was making one of these and I’m always a fan of spreading the lobe so I thought I’d join in and make one too. I’ve only been a 1D blog for like seven months? And not to be dramatic but it’s been one of my favorite experiences of my life and definitely of my time here on I’ve made so many good friends because of these 5 boys and this dumb site and I wouldn’t have it any other way tbh. Anyways, obligatory ~i probably forgot someone pls yell at me if I forgot you~(but actually please do). I’m praying to every God that this won’t make your notifications blow up and if it does I’m so sorry maybe one day we will all spend our time on an actually functioning website. 

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The Love Triangle (no one asked for because it confuses people af) 

There are no words to describe how much I’d been looking forward to ITVs Victoria. And even less words to describe how much I loved last Sunday’s episode, when the ‘clockwork prince’ was finally delivered. 

But as thrilled as I was by Albert - because I happen to fall instantly for the morally upright, nerdy, principled, progressively thinking,“stiff and awkward”, porridge-hating, truth telling, dork with cut-glass cheekbones and tousled hair who can’t flirt to save a life but then does something so stupidly romantic that you feel almost embarrassed - I do feel sorry for those people who fell right into the trap set by the writers. 

A rudimentary knowledge of British history should make it clear that there is not much sense in shipping Victoria with anyone else but Albert, but ‘sense’ and ‘ship’ rarely go hand in hand, so any ‘Vicbourne’ shippers who have fallen have just as much right to imagine what is not to be, even if it’s only in fanfic - because I think they’ve been the victims of ‘ship baiting’ of the worst sort. 

See, I can relate, even if I’m an A-class V&A shipper until my dying day. I know what it’s like to see writers do stuff with two characters that would by any other measure amount to a ‘possible’ romance arc, only to have it ridiculed and yourself made to feel as if you were delusional. Go to my old Downton posts and you’ll see a pit of wrath and hellfire about this topic. 

So while I massively enjoyed seeing Albert make more and more of an impression on Victoria and I squealed approvingly at all their moments together, it was almost painful to see what is being served to those who have started to root for Lord M (and please let’s all just be cool about ALL the historical inaccuracies of this FICTIONAL depiction of historical figures, because it is only entertainment and once you start to nitpick, all the fun goes out) who is not supposed to be the romantic hero of this play. 

The funny thing is, if Victoria was not historical but rather original fiction, and none of us would have seen Albert coming and knew that this was the ‘real’ romance of the series — I probably would have jumped on the Vicbourne ship as well after three episodes of making it ALL about Victoria and her Lord M, who acted like jealous Mr. Knightley from Emma in the fourth episode, giving his ‘rival’ young Frank Churchill the evil eye, voicing unflattering things about him and clearly choking on his jealousy in every second close-up shot. 

ITV - I know love triangles sell - but I still believe it is unnecessary to construct them if there is absolutely no foundation and it confuses the heck out of viewers. ‘Crack’ shipping is only safe and fun as long as you never get your hopes up so high that you become convinced that ‘it could happen’ and have that delusion crushed for good. I think this might have happened to some viewers last on Sunday, even though they must have seen it coming. 

Ah well, I guess I just wanted to say that I can understand those who had no choice but to go for the ‘bait’ because the we all know you don’t choose the ship, it chooses you. V&A have already been my favourite while I compared them to M&M on Downton Abbey and having an entire series about them is pretty much the dream. 

Also - I just discovered that moustaches are not that unattractive after all. Who would have known?