Hey! I don't really know how to go in the way of sending an ask, so excuse my awkwardness. I'm sixteen, and I've honestly only really questioned my sexuality for the past couple of years (probably only since I was around 14-15) and, I don't know. To some extent I think I might be bisexual (there are other factors and things here but those are questions for another time), but I can't help but think that the fact that I never considered it before the age of around 14 might mean that I'm not. ++++
++++ Does that make any sense? I was probably 12-13 when I actually started having crushes on guys (I’m a girl), but I never even thought about attraction to girls at that time. I guess I’m just asking - Do you think I’m bisexual, or do you think I only believe I am because I know a lot of LGBT people?
Hey don’t worry - it takes a lot of courage (at least for me) to send an ask.
Something that I was told once was really helpful - straight people don’t spend a lot of time questioning their sexuality. If you are questioning it, then it’s pretty likely that you may not be straight.
Attraction to different genders often doesn’t feel the same - what I mean by that is that attraction to guys feels one way, attraction to girls feels another, and attraction to non-binary folks can feel different too. That makes it really hard for us to figure out if we are attracted to more then one gender! Not to mention, the attractions may develop at different rates - puberty is really weird like that. It’s not at all strange that you would have been developing crushes on guys at 12-13 and then started questioning your sexuality at 14. In fact, there are many many people that don’t really start questioning things until much later - 18, 25, 35, 60, etc - it’s never too late to figure out something about yourself. Hell, I’m 30 and I’m coming to terms with my asexuality. Sexuality is confusing at the best of times, and it can take a long time to make heads or tails out of it.
Don’t believe anyone that says you have to have everything perfectly figured out by a certain age. You’ve got plenty of time to explore your feelings and figure out where you are. And, nothing is set in stone. If you feel like you are bisexual now, then awesome. If later you feel like maybe you are straight after all, or are a lesbian, then that’s awesome too! Labels are there to help you.
I know the worry that because you have LGBT friends - that you feel like maybe you are just co-opting them because you want to feel included or what not. I’ve been there - and I still have days like that. And unfortunately you will run in to people who will tell you that directly. But you are valid, and your experiences are valid. You matter. And the only one that can tell you what your sexuality is, is you.
Rock on, my anonymous friend. You are doing hard and amazing work trying to figure yourself out.