does no one want to own me

Zig x MC playlist

Hi everyone! So here’s another placeholder of sorts while I get my butt in gear to write a new fic. 😊 I want to quickly thank @holly-park (again) for the Zig x MC playlist she gifted me, it was my inspiration to make my own playlist. I actually like to listen to these songs when I’m trying to get in the head space to write a Zig piece. *Some songs are nsfw* Alright, here we go!

Originally posted by stavo-acosta


Night Changes - One Direction

Does it ever drive you crazy
Just how fast the night changes?
Everything that you’ve ever dreamed of
Disappearing when you wake up
But there’s nothing to be afraid of
Even when the night changes
It will never change me and you

Good For You - Selena Gomez, A$AP Rocky

I just wanna look good for you, good for you
Baby, let me be good to you, good to you
Let me show you how proud I am to be yours
Leave this dress a mess on the floor
And still look good for you, good for you

Coffee (F***ing) - Miguel, Wale

And pillow talk turns into sweet dreams
Sweet dreams turns into fucking in the morning
Fucking in the morning
I dont wanna wake you
I just wanna watch you sleep
It’s the smell of your hair
And it’s the way that we feel
I’ve never felt comfortable like this

Body Say - Demi Lovato

You can touch me with slow hands
Speed it up, baby, make me sweat
Dreamland, take me there ‘cause I want your sex
If my body had a say, I wouldn’t turn away
Touch, make love, taste you
If my body told the truth, baby I would do
Just what I want to

Starving - Hailee Steinfeld, Grey, Zedd

I didn’t know that I was starving till I tasted you
Don’t need no butterflies when you give me the whole damn zoo
By the way, by the way, you do things to my body
I didn’t know that I was starving till I tasted you

Toothbrush - DNCE

When you’re standing there in your underwear
And my T-shirt from the night before
With your messed up hair
And your feet still bare
Would you mind closing the bedroom door

Adorn - Miguel

These lips can’t wait to taste your skin, baby, no, no
And these eyes, yeah, can’t wait to see your grin, ooh ooh baby
Just let my love
Just let my love adorn you

Into You - Ariana Grande

So baby, come light me up and maybe I’ll let you on it
A little bit dangerous, but baby, that’s how I want it
A little less conversation, and a little more touch my body
Cause I’m so into you, into you, into you

PILLOWTALK - Zayn

I’m seeing the pain, seeing the pleasure
Nobody but you, ‘body but me
‘Body but us, bodies together
I love to hold you close, tonight and always
I love to wake up next to you

Then There’s You - Charlie Puth

There’s no words to express
When you’re wearing that dress that way
There’s no words to describe
Let me look in your eyes and say
There’s beautiful and then there’s you


If you want to listen to the entire playlist, including the songs from @holly-park, click here!

anonymous asked:

L is a suck up and only talks to the popular blogs for attention she just wants followers im over it

Okay first of all L is NOT a suck up they are simply spreading positivity, something everyone should be doing and not negitivity like this. Second of all they do not talk to the popular blogs alone, I’ve seen multiple posts where they sent something beautiful to the not very noticed blogs heck I’m not even one of those ‘popular’ blogs in fact I’m merely one compared to all these beautiful people, they spread all the positivity they can when in time of need for example; when any of these blogs owners are down and need inspiration or so L brings them back up like they’ve to me SO MANY TIMES and third of all why does L want followers when they’re in ANON if you haven’t realized its ANONYMOUS so we don’t know who the blog is and if your over it, I respect that, everyone is entitled to their own opinion and you just chose to share it but L is my friend even if they only appear in my asks every blue moon and I chose to stick up for them cause that’s what I do when my friends are getting hate so please anon don’t spread hate, it’s not nice and you hurt a lot of people when doing it in so many ways that you can’t imagine💜💜💜

-C

AND L IF YOUR SEEING THIS YOU ARE A BEAUTIFUL HUMAN BEING AND I LOVE YOU SO DEARLY AND SO DO ALL THE OTHER BLOGGERS DON’T LET
THE HATERS GET TO YOU LOVE AND TO ANYONE EXPERIENCING ANON
HATE YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL IN YOUR OWN AMAZING WAY AND NOBODY CAN COMPARE TO THAT 💜💜💜- C,

anonymous asked:

The show has rape and incest

i know it does, and im not going to try and defend the show for one second, but there is a stark difference to me between a 12 season long show that has incidents of rape and incest sporadically as plot devices (again, i am not supportive of this), and a 1000 word long graphic story that sexualises the idea of a gay tv character being raped by his own father

im not trying to preach or say that people have to stop writing these sort of fics, but i am not going to apologise for saying i think theyre disgusting and that i want them far away from me

bangtan asks

we are bulletproof: if you could be any superhero, who would you be and why?

no more dream: if you woke up tomorrow to be incredibly famous, how would you react?

i like it: if you could reverse any moment in your life, what would that moment be?

n.o: biggest pet peeve?

we on: how do you deal with people who don’t like you?

if i ruled the world: what would you do if you found out that you were an heir to a wealthy kingdom?

coffee: what’s your coffee order?

cypher pt. 1: if you had to be part of a kpop group, what position would you want to be (i.e. leader, visual, lead vocal, dancer, rapper, maknae, etc.)

rise of bangtan: when and how did you get into the king and legends, also known as bangtan sonyeondan?

satoori rap: what does home mean to you?

boy in luv: when you are interested in someone (romantically, sexually, etc.), does your behavior change?

just one day: who would you want to spend the last day of your life with?

tomorrow: goal that you would like to achieve within the next year?

cypher pt. 2: one thing about yourself you wish people would appreciate more?

spine breaker: what is your weakness when it comes to spending money?

jump: favorite childhood memory?

miss right: what is your ideal ‘type’?

i like it pt. 2: dream date?

danger: have you ever had a near-death experience?

war of hormone: most embarrassing moment?

hip hop lover: three songs that are meaningful to you?

let me know: are you good at keeping secrets?

rain: most spontaneous thing you’ve ever done?

cypher pt. 3: favorite outfit to wear?

blanket kick: longest time you’ve spent lying in bed (sleeping or not)?

24/7 = heaven: what are you most looking forward to?

look here: do you have any hidden talents?

second grade: proudest accomplishment?

i need u: are you in love?

hold me tight: does physical contact comfort you?

love is not over: ever had your heart broken?

dead leaves: how loyal are you?

move: last time you cried?

butterfly: most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen?

run: do you like traveling? if so, where? what’s your dream vacation?

ma city: if you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?

baepsae: do you vote and/or keep up with politics?

dope: what did you want to be when you were younger? how does it compare to what you want to be now?

fire: are you a spontaneous person?

save me: your favorite place on earth?

young forever: what is one movie from your childhood that you will always treasure?

boys with fun: you’re going on a roadtrip with seven other people– dead, alive, fictional, real, famous, or not. who are they, and why?

converse high: how many pairs of shoes do you own?

whalien 52: weirdest thing that has ever happened to you? alternatively, weirdest dream you’ve ever had?

house of cards: when was the last time you felt sexy?

boy meets evil: have you ever committed a crime? if so, what was it? alternatively, what is the worst thing you have ever done?

blood, sweat, & tears: kinkiest kink you have?

begin: who are you most grateful for in your life?

lie: biggest fear?

stigma: would you rather know the date of your death or the cause of your death?

first love: do you believe in soulmates?

reflection: if you could tell your past self one thing, what would it be?

mama: are you good at giving advice?

awake: if you had to be a flower, which flower would you be?

lost: how good are you with directions? do you get lost easily?

cypher pt. 4: what do you do to treat yourself or relax?

am i wrong: you wake up one morning in the hospital, knowing only your name and a single memory from your life. what is that memory?

21st century girls: do you prefer texting, calling, or video chatting?

2!3!: your favorite thing about bangtan?

spring day: who do you miss right now?

not today: what are your procrastinating right now?

wings: on airplanes, do you prefer the window seat, the middle seat, or the aisle seat?

you never walk alone: how many people do you trust with your life?


So a few weeks ago I got interested what made us human apex predators(cuz lets face it we don’t look intimidating). One of the obvious is superior intelligence but that can’t be all. I figured I put a list together for any writer that want to use this information. (these are all google facts so feel free to do your own research or correct me)

Also disclaimer: This post excludes anything that has to do with our above intelligence(like use of weapons) and dexterity thumps, because those are a given. I wanted to concentrate on what else helped us survive in the wild. And this post does not say that the modern human is like this, its about people that still live out in the wilderness or 10 000 years ago.

  • Unique Hunting
    • We humans are persistent hunters, so instead of the typical predator approach by stalking our prey and kill it fast, we let our prey know we are here. We tried to hit it with rocks or spears, if the first strike didn’t kill it, we would just calmly walk after it and try again. This goes on over hours, usually during the hottest time of the day, not giving the poor thing a chance to rest until it’s finally to exhausted to run away. We would literally walk our pray to death. There are other animals that hunt like this(wolves) but we humans are the best at it.
  • Insanely Good Trackers
    • This is tied in with our intelligence but I wanted to give it an extra point. Most animals track by smell, which we don’t. We track foot print and things like fur on branches or broken twigs. Water or rain will wash away a scent but following broken twigs is a bit easier in the rain.
  • Amazing Cardio
    • We can’t out sprint any animal but we can outrun them. Humans are within the top 5 animals that are able to walk/jog/run long distances without needing a break. And we are the only predator in that  list.
  • Incredible Aim (hand eye coordination)
    • Out of all the animals we have by far the best aim. Other species with similar abilities just don’t have the same success rate.
  • Best climbers
    • We are one of the best climbers there are and if you don’t believe me watch a parkour video.
  • We eat everything (and i mean everything)
    • We eat many things that are either unenjoyable for animals or poisonous. Our digestive system is unique and allows us to digest these poisons without a problem. While some of these poisons would be dangerous enough in large doses, it is literally impossible for us to OD on them if we eat them as food. Here’s a list:
      • Chocolate
      • Spicy food (is not deadly just unenjoyable)
      • Milk (Humans are the only animals on earth that are lactose tolerant when we grow into adulthood)
      • Avocado
      • Garlic 
      • Coconut
      • Yeast bread
      • Eggs
      • Grapes/Raisins
      • Onions
  • Super Healing
    • Our flesh wounds stop bleeding relatively fast and heal fast too.We heal so well that a broken bone is considered a relative minor medical issue. A broken bone is a death sentence in the animal kingdom and even for modern days vets its impossible sometime to heal an animal’s broken bone. Not only do our bones heal fast but it grows stronger afterward.
  • Lack of Fur
    • Animals that don’t sweat need to regulate their heat by panting. Humans have much better way at regulating heat: we sweat. Sweating happens parallel to whatever activity we do and allows us to perform these task without needing a break. If you made a dog do sports like a human it would have a heatstroke.

All in all we are a species that can adapt to any sort of environment thanks to these traits. 

WARNING: YOU ARE ABOUT TO ENTER THE TERRITORY OF AN EMOTIONAL ARMY, WHO SIMPLY WANTS TO APPRECIATE AND CHERISH AN ANGEL KNOWN AS JUNG HOSEOK. You have been warned!

Now, who is Hoseok for me?

Hoseok is my so called ‘THE bias’ of BTS (since all of them are my biases… oops).

Hoseok is my inspiration.

Hoseok is my sunshine.

And somehow he is hated and under appreciated.

Why is that, however?

Perhaps it could be because he is too kind

Originally posted by eynmagination

It could because he genuinely loves and cares for his members

Originally posted by omojinyounghobi

And in generally is kind to all. After all, there are those who can’t fathom the idea, that someone might actually be nice and supportive to other people.

Originally posted by onetrue14

Maybe he gets hate for trying to stay positive. Some people feed on negative energy and thus really wish to bering someone with good vibes down, they want to bring down that precious smile, to destroy it.

Originally posted by jhope-shi

And of course, one of the biggest reasons people hate him is because he is so talented. And as a result he achieved fame along side his members

Originally posted by itsvanillish

Originally posted by btsgifdump

And it pains me, oh it pains me so much to see this amazing, beautiful young man get hurt.

It hurts me so much to see people throw insults at him simply because of jealousy, because the feel threatened.

Hoseok deserves the universe.

Remember the video, when on his birthday he saw a video filmed to wish him happy birthday? Remember how emotional he got, how touched and honoured?

Originally posted by pastelyoonseok

He didn’t waste any time, making sure to thank all the people around him, to hug them, hold their hand, anything to express his gratitude.

******

This is a young man who had the ability to do a full solo song for the groups album and he chose to write a song about his mum, for his mum, thanking her for all she went through. 

Originally posted by jeonity

This is the young BOY who said to himself that the only way he can make his mother proud, the only way he can repay her for all her sacrifices is to ‘become successful.’ Even if that meant selling his all.

Selling his body to endless practice

Originally posted by yvainne

Selling his private life

Originally posted by hobismole

And even selling his own emotions.

What does that mean?

Well, on one hand Jhope is a sunshine, on one hand he is Hobi.

A sunshine with a smile so pure

Originally posted by hyejonqs

A sunshine with a laugh so genuine

Originally posted by hobsflower

A sunshine who just loves to play around

Originally posted by jhope-shi

Yet on the other hand, he is Jung Hoseok.

Someone with a deadly passion

Originally posted by hobipd

Someone with extremely powerful emotions

Originally posted by prince-hobis-castle

Someone rather serious

Originally posted by hopetaeguk

Someone who smiles much more calmly

Originally posted by chimneytaels

And honestly, I love that calm side just as much as I love the sunshine side.

Because part of the allure of Hoseok is that he is a very full rounded human being. A very beautiful one inside and out. And so what i hope is that Hoseok actually allows himself to be himself (whatever that truly is). 

Im sure that his members are alway there to support him.

Hoseok’s existence seems to be making everyone happy.

Originally posted by kths

Originally posted by sugasmagnificentlegs

But its those precious moments when Hoseok is happy for himself, content with his own self that he shines like the amazing star he truly is.

Originally posted by hohbi

Originally posted by eyesmiletrash

Originally posted by yourbiaslikesitrough

When he allows his emotions to overtake him

Originally posted by sugaswagdaddy

That my heart just fills with happiness to the brim as I realise that yes, I do love this young man in some sense.

It is then that I smile because he gives me happiness, a reason to be excited, a reason to work hard.

Which is why I wold like to ask more people to pay attention to tis amazing young man.

Looks are subjective, dance is subjective and so is the ‘great’ rap style. Just because he doesnt fit your ideal type does not mean that you have to start creating movements in order to bring him down. If your favourites do not deserve to be destroyed, the neither does Hoseok, or any other innocent soul.

Originally posted by hobsflower

I hope Hoseok stays happy.

I hope he IS happy.

I hope he gets more opportunities to shine, to create his own work, develop his own self both as an artist and as a human being.

I hope he stays healthy because unhealthy Hoseok is broken Hoseok and nobody wants that. No, not because people would stop stanning, but because we do not want him to be in pain.

But if he is, I hope he does not feel like he is a Burden to BTS or ARMYs.

Because he isn’t.

Angel Hobi down mean perfect Hobi for me. It means a relatable Hobi, someone who is human, kind, emotional, loving. Angel Hobi means that by being himself, Hobi gives us one more reason to smile and go through our day.

And it would pain me if he doesn’t know what he means to me, to us.

We ARMYs support, love and cherish Hoseok to the fullest and i pray to all entities that he knows that.

Because his smile is one that must never fall.

Originally posted by itsvanillish

Originally posted by hobilu

Originally posted by sugutie

Originally posted by kawaiinekololitablog

Originally posted by btsleepy

Originally posted by sugamysavagebaby

Originally posted by caramelpjm

Because his smile is one that deserves to forever stay genuine.

Lets spread the love for this amazing young man!

Thank you for reading!

Originally posted by hoseokxx

dan and phil ; tranquil downpour

(does that look like dan and phil?? idk..)

“but if i sit in the rain
maybe i can drown
in something other than
my own thoughts.”

》》other edits/phanarts《《

requests are open.(if you want me to make you one of these, you can private message me a picture of your choice and i’ll be pleased to work on it)

Nick & Fiona discuss going to the pub with Harry
  • Nick *reading out a review* : "the person I'd like to go to the pub with is Nick Grimshaw or Harry Styles, or both"
  • Fiona : I can confirm that going to the pub with Harry, and you, and I've done both, is really wonderful
  • Nick : Do you like me on my own, Harry on his own or us together ?
  • Fiona : I like you on your own or you both together. I don't want him on his own
  • Nick : Why ?
  • Fiona : 'Cause it'd be awkward and I wouldn't know what to say. He's quite quiet
  • Nick : True. He's a wallflower
  • Fiona : He just doesn't fancy me, that's the problem
The Fic Writer’s Beatitudes

Blessed are the readers, for theirs is the archive.

Blessed are the betas: for they help us write the stories we see in our hearts.
Blessed are they that kudo, for they reassure us that someone likes what we’ve done.
Blessed are the rebloggers and reccers, for they help the readers find our work.
Blessed are they which leave comments on a WIP that say something other than “write more please”: for they comfort us when we feel taken for granted.
Blessed are the commenters; for their words bring us joy.
Blessed are the loyal fans, for they keep the fandom alive.
Blessed are the fan artists, for they bring our worlds to life before our eyes.
Blessed are they which read an entire long fic and comment each chapter, for the string of comment notifications fills the writer’s heart with delight.
Blessed are ye, who rec our fics in public and tag us, for seeing that we made somebody squee is the light in our days.
Rejoice, and be exceeding glad; for great is your reward in fandom.

“I’m Unsubbing to Jontron But...” (YOUTUBER RECOMMENDATION MASTERPOST)

“…I still want to see video game reviews like the ones he does!”

-PeanutButterGamer: Follows a very similar style of game review to Jontron, but with minimal sketches, and focuses a bit more on the game itself rather than his own comedy. Less cut away gags, though the sketches that he does do are always entertaining enough to actually justify a cut away gag, something that Jontron surprisingly still has yet to perfect. His content is clean, like most of the Youtubers on this list, but clean in a sort of Tumblr level of obscure that gets a good laugh without offending anyone. To quote his Tumblr: “ I’m all for not offending people. I mean, I actively attempt to be as inoffensive as possible on videos and on social media, “. He also recently voiced his distaste for what Jon has been saying lately, a bold move, considering they work for the same company.

-BrutalMoose: Brutalmoose does both video game and TV show/movie reviews the same way Jon does, and unlike PBG, he does have a few videos with a bit more mature content in them, like his reviews of “adult” games. While he does play “mature” games from time to time, and the content/comedy of those games can be offensive, his own comedy is still clean, but on the borderline of dirty. The kind you’d see on the likes of the Simpsons. Jokes that are adult, but still don’t hurt anyone. (Also…Tumblr is kind of obsessed with the fact that he’s gay? Don’t go overboard with that info, kids.)

-SpaceHamster: If you were a fan of JonTron’s knockoff game videos, you’re gonna love SpaceHamster! He’s done multiple knockoff and rom hack compilation videos, and his humor is up there with PBG. Heck, PBG and him even game together on PBG’s side channel!


“…I still want to see movie reviews like the ones he does!”

-Nostalgia Critic: If you’re looking for completely inoffensive comedy, then Nostalgia Critic probably isn’t the first place you’re gonna want to go, but hear me out. Nostalgia Critic’s offensive content differs from JonTron’s in that not only is he self aware of what is and isn’t acceptable in comedy, he’s willing to apologize when a joke goes too far and learn from his mistakes, instead of attacking his own critics. He’s made videos discussing “the line” in comedy, does countless charity shoutouts, and started the “Where’s The Fair Use” movement, a movement created in hopes of holding YouTube accountable for taking down videos that fall under Fair Use laws. He’s a genuinely decent guy!

-CinemaSins: I feel like CinemaSins is popular enough that I hardly even need to signal boost them, but their content also falls under that “adult but harmless” category. Not only that, but they’re not afraid to call out movies like 50 Shades of Gray for being ungodly shitty.

“…I still want to see sketch comedy like the sketch comedy he does!”

-JacksFilms: Remember that guy? The Your Grammar Sucks guy? You might also know him as “the guy who made parody videos calling out both Leafy and Keemstar for being shitty uncreative people” or “the guy who has videos featuring fans art and complimenting them”. Another genuinely decent human being.

Louis is Harry’s Baby!

I dunno if there is one so I will make one for you!

As we know, young Harry was very much looking forward to having someone to fuss over! And he got what he wanted!

HE WOULD NOT LIVE WITH ANYONE ELSE!!!

LOUIS NEVER DOES HIS OWN LAUNDRY

At least he is upfront about it!

DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THE COOKING!

CAN YOU BELIEVE HOW MUCH HARRY SPOILS HIM?!?!?!

HOW HARD IS IT TO WHISK?!? I MEAN… hE JUST WANTED HARRY’S ATTENTION AND BOY WAS IT READILY GIVEN!

Feeding his tiny boyfriend

Buying mint chocolate chip ice cream for his husband (Look at Harry’s hands though)

Carrying Louis’s jacket in case he gets cold.

But even if he forgets, it’s okay, because Harry is ready to give his coat to Louis!! 

His FACE is like ‘I HAVE ONE, LOU! LET ME GET IT TO YOU’

LOUIS HAD A COLD AND HARRY PROMPTLY GOT HIM THROAT LOZENGES TO SOOTHE HIS SORE THROAT!

Fetching Louis his glasses

WHAT EVEN WAS THIS? HARRY WAS TRYING TO HELP LOUIS AND SO HE GRABBED THE PHONE CHARGER (CASE?) FROM INBETWEEN LOUIS’S LEGS?!?!?! AND LOUIS? DID NOT? FLINCH? wHAt

HARRY KNOWS. AND HE HAPPILY PROVIDES SAID ATTENTION.

*HUSBAND FACE ACTIVATED*

OF COURSE NIALL WOULD ASK HARRY IF LOUIS’S FEET WERE STILL SMELLY

Don’t even get me started on this! Harry held a party for Louis’s 21st bday and it was GRAND! All of Louis’s friends and family were there (so were harry’s) and THEY WORE MATCHING SHIRTS!!  (fyi The shirt that Harry wore was worn by Louis during his mum’s wedding)

Louis’s very own curly cheerleader!!

Harry wore Jay’s wedding bracelet for weeks after the wedding. And when it was frayed, he tied it to his bag. Talk about being supportive!

In conclusion, Harry loves, supports and cherishes Louis! 

(x x x x x x x x)

“We missed each other this whole time. Me and Andy missed each other, but me and Melissa missed each other too. It’s weird. She and I talk when we’re not filming and we’re like “How are you?” It’s f—ing bizarre! So it’s hard and it’s a bittersweet reunion. We enjoy it, but we don’t enjoy being apart. And that goes for a lot of us. There are certain characters where as soon as they start going, we start bawling. It’s kind of silly. But she’s definitely one of those for me.”

“She’s going through her own thing and there’s a reason why she separated herself and doesn’t want to be a killer anymore. And she’s losing herself, and I think Daryl realizes that. It’s a very selfless act. He tells her what she needs to hear to keep going. He does it for her.”

“I think she can totally handle it. It’s just not what she needs. Everyone’s path is their individual path, and she needs to be away from it because she’s losing herself and that world, when your whole life is changed and your whole world is changed and the dynamics have changed, and you start to lose yourself — then what’s the point, you know? So I think that he realizes that she needs to hold on to something. She’s been working towards it and it’s been hard for her, and he sees how hard it is for her to even make the choice to do what she’s doing now. And selflessly, he tells her what she needs to hear because he cares about her and doesn’t want to drag her into something that she doesn’t want to be a part of.” 

- Norman Reedus

Abuse is about control.

An abuser doesn’t always need shouting or physical intimidation like throwing things or grabbing in order to control someone. Abuse can be present without those behaviours.

An abuser can talk calmly and even use a friendly tone of voice or a progressive Consent Culture vocabulary and still be abusive, because the abuse lies in infringing on someone’s autonomy.

If a peer relationship feels abusive but you’re doubting if it’s Really Abuse, look at whether each person is making choices about their own bodies, schedules, activities, and external relationships.

A boundary is about your own body and life, not someone else’s - it’s “I don’t want to do X thing with you” and not “I don’t want you to do Y thing at all even if it does not involve me.” Someone making choices that override your autonomy, even “for your own good”, is not allowing you to have boundaries.

If you don’t want to be in a relationship with someone because they do Y thing that doesn’t involve you, that’s your choice. You can simply end the relationship, or you can say, “Is Y important to you? Because it makes me uncomfortable,” and have an honest conversation about conflicting needs/preferences to see if a relationship is possible.

But there’s a problem when one person says to their peer, “Stop Y thing that doesn’t involve me, or I will do something to punish you,” or even “You’re not allowed to do Y anymore, I don’t like it.” You don’t get to make choices for other people.

the foxes  as popular text posts #2

neil josten: I hate when I’m in class, working on my personal writing and someone leans over and goes “WHat R U wRITing” like your eulogy if you don’t back the fuck up you soggy lampshade

andrew minyard: you’re yelling? at ME? the one person who has never done anything wrong ever?????

kevin day: I’m so ready to be able to legally drink. only eating all these years has left me very thirsty. I have heard very good things about water

nicky hemmick: Yes mother I have slept for thirteen hours straight but Jesus slept for three days straight and started a religion so I don’t wanna hear it.

matt boyd: got yelled at by my mom cos i kept pronouncing "Dwanye" The Rock Johnson the same way one pronounces “Kanye” West

dan wilds: “if feminists want equality does this mean we can punch women now?” go ahead chicken shit punch me in the fucking face. i will shove your entire upper body into your own ass and make you fuck yourself from the inside out

renee walker: do you ever want to gently float up to someone and whisper “this isn’t a debate; i am actually educated on the subject and i’m telling you you’re wrong”

allison reynolds: anonymously tell me your credit card number ill reply with what I bought

aaron minyard: i watched my brother drop a remote on his foot and the only thing he said was “i am so sick of being alive”

david wymack: I used too much No More Tears shampoo in 1973 and haven’t felt a single emotion since then

betsy dobson: [to andrew] *therapist voice* you are stupid and gay

abby winfield: fun drinking game: take a shot of water every couple hours to make sure you’re healthy and hydrated

+ BONUS

jean moreau: once in the fifth grade this kid called me a homo and i thought it meant homeless and i was so confused i said ‘jeremy you’ve been to my house’

jeremy knox: if you ever feel bad about yourself remember that one time i didn’t understand that my waiter was just trying to give me my change so i fist bumped him instead 

sara alvarez: if the phantom of the opera has taught me anything it’s that if all else fails you set the place on fire and cry

laila dermott: I’m in love with this girl. She’s gorgeous, smart, talented, funny as hell, and totally badass. That girl is me.

erik klose: white lips, pale face, im gay, outer space

riko moriyama: back by unpopular demand: me

Don’t Doubt Your Writing

Anonymous asked: “Any advice for the crippling self-doubt with writing? I do short stories and I never think they’re good enough.”

Get ready for probably one of the worst pep-talks ever written. The first time I heard someone say (and not to me actually), “No one asked you to be a writer,” was probably the first time I realized I didn’t actually have to write. 

Keep reading

2

18. Harry Styles, “Meet Me in the Hallway”

Producer: Tyler Johnson, Alex Salibian, Jeff Bhasker
Album: Harry Styles

“Meet Me in the Hallway” is the perfect opener for Harry Styles’ solo debut because it hallmarks all the aspects of what the former One Direction member wants us to hear in him now. It’s a little rock, a little sad, a little twangy. Above all else, it’s vaguely confessional—as is much of Styles’ album—who is this mysterious woman who has got his heart all tangled up? Who does Harry Styles “gotta get better” for? Is it really about drugs? I mean we’ll never find out, but it’s a great listen, one that evokes the ghosts in our own hallways that we never got better for. - Complex

Most popular fics of 2015

✔ subjectively sorted by Hits || alphabetically listed || as of 2017.06


  1. 9 times Harry kissed Draco and the 1 time Draco kissed Harry by LockWhoSuper [4k] 
  2. 19 Years and 5 Minutes Later by TheMightyFlynn [202k]
  3. Animus Nexus by MystyVander [96k]
  4. Any Instrument by @dictacontrion [131k]
  5. Appearances by twistedmiracle [103k]
  6. Bad Medicine by playout [25k]
  7. A Convenient Impracticality by @firethesound [38k]
  8. Curiosity by @gracerene09 [2k]
  9. Dear Diary by @teddylacroix [20k]
  10. The Destiny You Sold by @tryslora [58k] 
  11. Don’t mind if I keep your tie (And your heart, babe) by Ingi [21k] 
  12. Draco at Nineteen by birdsofshore [5k]
  13. Endowment by @dictacontrion [10k]
  14. For Revenge by @gracerene09 [2k]
  15. The Four Ds of Apparition (or: Destination, Determination, Deliberation, and Dicks) by @eidheann & @firethesound [36k]
  16. The Green Vial by @eidheann [31k]
  17. Harmonised Consciousness by @tali-zora [24k]
  18. Harry Potter and the Alpha-Omega Bond by Becstar7 [20k]
  19. Helix by @natasha-stawarski-does-stuff [92k] 
  20. hello goodbye (‘twas nice to know you) by @tamerofdarkstars [4k]
  21. Hung Like a Horntail by @lqtraintracks [2k]
  22. I Bet That You Look Good on the Dancefloor by birdsofshore [27k]
  23. An Image of Lethe by Lomonaaeren [168k]
  24. In His Nature by create_serenity [20k]
  25. It Takes a Village by @natasha-stawarski-does-stuff [24k]
  26. It’s the Love of the Chase (That Created the Ride) by lumosed_quill [13k]
  27. Kiss Me (Under the Light of a Thousand Stars) by Iwao & @sophiefrench77 [114k]
  28. Lessons in Humility by playout [86k]
  29. Like Diamonds We Are Cut With Our Own Dust by raitala [10k]
  30. Love In Slow Motion [11k]
  31. Make Me a Headline (I Want to Be That Bold) by @dictacontrion [31k]
  32. The Name on Your Forehead by @aroaceteddy [10k]
  33. Nature of the Beast by Lomonaaeren [126k]
  34. Nightcall by @femmequixotic​ & @noeeon [116k]
  35. The One Where Harry’s a Top-Virgin by @rebeccajamesbooks [5k]
  36. The Printed Press by @soupy-george [119k]
  37. The Rewards of Bravery by @heaven-is-my-hell [13k]
  38. Right Hand Red by lumosed_quill [73k]
  39. Rorschach by @gracerene09 [5k]
  40. Scurrilous by @natasha-stawarski-does-stuff [25k]
  41. Slip Into My Lover’s Hands by @lqtraintracks [5k] 
  42. The Standard You Walk Past by @bafflinghaze [46k]
  43. Starfall by Lomonaaeren [196k]
  44. Such Great Heights by @dddraconis [93k]
  45. Synchronicity by @everything-a-wolf-could-want [35k]
  46. Tease by penpenhooray [1k]
  47. Temptation on the Warfront by alizarincrims0n [180k]
  48. There’s a Pure-Blood Custom For That by Lomonaaeren [105k]
  49. Unbuttoned by @eidheann [6k]
  50. Unexpected Consequences by @heaven-is-my-hell [39k]

other years

satire-please  asked:

I love your Kuro. He reminds me of a giant cat and it's wonderful. Do you think he would have the same attention getting behaviors as one too? Like what does he do when he wants (Lance's) attention? Does he flops in front of whatever he's doing and won't let up until Lance scratches his head or something? :D

Oh my God yes… just imagine Kuro starting to claw at things, if he doesn’t get enough attention from Lance. Like sofas or Lance’s (and therefore Kuro’s own) favorite clothes.

Kuro: Lance?

Lance:*reads something on his pad*

Kuro: Laaaance?

Lance: ….

Kuro:

Kuro: *slowly opens the closet*

Kuro: *starts to noisily claw at Lance’s “Shut your fuck”-shirt*

Lance: KURO NOOOOOO

Kuro: ♥♥♥♥

Y’all know my obsession with mer!Stiles but what about professional merman!Stiles and single dad!Derek whose little girl is obsessed with mermaids?

Derek understands it’s probably not healthy to try indulge all of his daughter’s impossible wishes, but she rarely asks for anything and if she wants a mermaid for her 6th birthday he’s going to find a way to make it happen.

Enter Stiles - professional merman. Derek isn’t exactly sure if a dude is quite what his daughter wants in a mermaid but between not wanting to ruin the surprise and the fact she pretty much squeals MERMAID!! MERMAID!! MERMAID!! when she sees anything that even slightly resembles a fish, he thinks a guy will be fine. 

Derek is expecting…well, he’s not actually sure what he’s expecting. Do professional mermaids grow up wanting to be professional mermaids or does the job just come with a particular…lifestyle, like surfers and lifeguards and people way too obsessed with Disney? Whoever Derek is expecting to show up at his door though, it certainly isn’t someone who greets him by saying, “holy shit, you’re gorgeous” followed by “wait, I mean…holy shit you’re gorgeous.” Derek hasn’t felt his cheeks turn red since he was fifteen, which is why he’s totally not to blame when all he manages to say in return is, “do you come with your own tail?”

“Why, you planning on supplying one for me, big guy? I do have my own tail but if kitting me out in a different one is something you’re into….” he winks, like he was fucking born to, and for a moment Derek is kind of terrified he’s accidentally hired a hooker who thinks Derek has a weird mermaid fetish. 

“Um…no….that’s….okay.” He swears he used to have better game than this. Not that he’s trying to flirt with Stiles. He hired him for his daughter’s birthday party, for fuck’s sake. There are rules. He’s almost certain. 

“Great, well, if you could just lead me to the pool….” Stiles squints. “You….do have a pool, right? Once someone hired me to sit in a bathtub all day and while you might think getting paid to sit around in bathtub all day is the world’s best job, believe me when I say it’s not.”

Half an hour later, Derek blushes again - this is really getting out of hand - when Stiles knocks on his back door, panting, “okay, so, I know my website says professional and please trust me when I say I am but…could you help me get my tail on? Usually I have my buddy Scott to help me set up but it’s his anniversary today and, well,” he shrugs. Derek doesn’t stop blushing for the rest of the day, in fact. Especially during lunch when the kids go inside to watch The Little Mermaid and Stiles flops up onto the pool side, the moles scattered all down his neck and chest doing funny things to Derek under the glare of the sun. Not even the way Stiles’ nose starts to burn puts him off. All it does is force Derek outside, awkwardly standing over Stiles, shyly holding out some sunscreen. 

It doesn’t help that Stiles is perfect with the kids, either. No question is too silly for him and he even manages to coax his daughter’s friend Isaac to the edge of the pool even though Isaac is frightened of mermaids and the only reason he came today is because his daughter promised to hold his hand all day and protect him (which Derek noted fondly Isaac couldn’t stop talking about all week, according to his older brother).

The real problem starts, however, when his daughter asks Stiles if he will fall in love with her daddy because her daddy deserves true love because he’s he bestest daddy in the whole world and mermaids always always make sure when they fall in love it’s the “big explody” kind of love, right? You’re not an evil mermaid, are you Stiles? You won’t try to drown my daddy if he kisses you, will you? 

No, sweetheart, I won’t drown your daddy if he tries to kiss me.” He looks over at Derek, waggling his eyebrows. Derek, god help him, has never been so endeared in his life. 

See, daddy,” his daughter yells, putting her hands on her hips. “I told you.”

Stiles bites down on a laugh and Derek crosses his arms, raises an eyebrow at her. “Lacy, what have I told you about trying to set daddy up with strangers?”

“But Stiles isn’t a stranger, daddy. He’s got a tail.” 

Derek sighs, leading Lacy into the house. “I’m sure Stiles already has a lovely mer…person waiting for him at home.”

“You won’t ever find love if you don’t take a chance, daddy,” Lacy pouts, sounding scarily like Erica whenever they get onto the topic of his love life (which is horribly frequent these days).

“Yeah,” Stiles call after them, “take a chance, daddy! I promise, we merfolk don’t bite.” He pauses. “Much.” He winks and Derek blushes for probably the 100th time that day.

He hates everything.

Except, he really doesn’t because after putting Lacy to bed, he comes back down stairs to find Stiles’ number on the envelope of cash he had left out for Stiles to take. 

We merfolk don’t have use for money but if you want to buy me dinner some time, we do like to eat.

P.S. Curly fries are optional but highly encouraged.

P.P.S. If you bring me this money instead of curly fries, this relationship is not going to work. 

(Spoiler alert: Derek doesn’t bring Stiles his money. Instead he puts it in a box, still inside the envelope, which neither of them touch until Stiles proposes five years later when they use it to buy celebratory engagement pizza and that fancy ice cream that Lacy loves so much - which she henceforth insists on calling “finally ice cream” because, well…..finally.)

MBTI and an Escape Room

ISFJ: “No, no, no, no”

ESFJ: *crying and furious* “This is tearing us apart! Get it together people!”

ISTJ: *Says everyone is an idiot for trying the wrong thing- never offers his own solution*

ESTJ: “I would take over, but I like watching ENFJ fail at it.”

ESTP: “Wait guys, I got this” *does something stupid* *fails*

ISTP: “If you guys would just listen to me then I could get us out of here- ok no one is listening to me, that’s fine too, whatever”

ESFP: *completely oblivious to everyone’s stress* “This is so fun!”

ISFP: *mopping in the corner* “I’m just really tired, I don’t want to do this.”

ENFP: *simply talking and rabbit trailing about random possibilities* “Hey look at this! This is so cool! Oh that’s kinda creepy…what if-”

INFP: *super chill and relaxed* “Man, this is so much fun. Hey guys- we should try and scare ISTJ”

INFJ: *Thinks he knows how to get out but can’t talk because all the tension in the room is about to make him cry*

ENFJ: *Keeps trying to create order amongst the group, but gets too emotional to handle the responsibility* 

ENTJ: *Has already planned out which one of his friends he will have to sacrifice first*

INTJ: *Knows how to get out after discussing with INFJ* *Doesn’t tell anyone because ESTJ said some rude and they want to watch ESTJ fail* 

ENTP: “Hey guys, I know what will work!” *tries something complicated and stupid* *fails* 

INTP: “My goodness, I can’t believe you guys haven’t figured it out yet, it’s so obvious” *doesn’t actually know how to get out*