does it make sense that those are two different lines from two different people

Lana Del Rey: Wild At Heart

Courtney Love: Is this the mysterious Lana Del Rey?

Lana Del Rey: Is this the one and only Courtney Love?

Lana Del Rey: So, we could just talk about whatever… Like those burning palm trees that you had in the ‘Malibu’ video. I didn’t think they were real!

Courtney Love: Back when rock’n’roll had a budget, you mean? Oh my God, Lana, setting palm trees on fire was so fun. You thought they were CGI?

Lana Del Rey: Yeah.

Courtney Love: God, you’re so young. I burned down palm trees. In my day, darling, you used to have to walk to school in the snow. So, since I toured with you, I got kind of obsessed and went down this Lana rabbit hole and became – not like I’m wearing a flower crown, Lana, don’t get ideas – but I absolutely love it. I love it as much as I love PJ Harvey.

Lana Del Rey: That’s amazing because, maybe it’s slightly well documented, but I love everything you do, everything you have done – I couldn’t believe that you came on the tour with me.

Courtney Love: I read that you spend a lot of time mastering and mixing. Is that true on this new record?

Lana Del Rey: Oh my God, yeah, it’s killing me. It’s because I spend so much time with the engineers working on the reverb. Because I actually don’t love a glossy production. If I want a bit of that retro feel, like that spring reverb or that Elvis slap, sometimes if you send it to an outside mixer they might try and dry things up a bit and push them really hard on top of the mix so it sounds really pop. And Born to Die did have a slickness to it, but, in general, I have an aversion to things that sound glossy all over – you have to pick and choose. And some people say, ‘It’s not radio-ready if it isn’t super-shiny from top to bottom.’ But you know this. Whoever mixed your stuff is a genius. Who did it?

Courtney Love: Chris Lord-Alge and Tom Lord-Alge. Kurt was really big on mastering. He sat in every mastering session like a fiend. I never was big on mastering because it’s such a pain in the butt.

Lana Del Rey: It is a pain in the ass.

Courtney Love: I think my very, very favourite song of yours – you’re not gonna like this because it’s early – is ‘Blue Jeans’. I mean, ‘You’re so fresh to death and sick as ca-cancer’? Who does that?

Lana Del Rey: I have to say, that track has this guy Emile Haynie all over it. I remember ‘Blue Jeans’ was more of a Chris Isaak ballad and then I went in with him and it came out sounding the way it does now. I was like, ‘That’s the power of additional production.’ The song was on the radio in the UK, on Radio 1, and I remember thinking, ‘Fuck, that started off as a classical composition riff that I got from my composer friend, Dan Heath.’ It was, like, six chords that I started singing on.

Courtney Love: You have that lyric (on the song), ‘You were sorta punk rock, I grew up on hip-hop.’ Did you really grow up on hip hop?

Lana Del Rey: I didn’t find any good music until I was right out of high school, and I think that was just because, coming from the north country, we got country, we got NPR, and we got MTV.

Courtney Love: What I hear in your music is that you’ve created the world, you’ve created a persona, and you’ve created this kind of enigma that I never created but if I could go back I would create.

Lana Del Rey: Are you even being serious right now? I don’t even know if your legacy could get any bigger. You’re one of the only people I know whose legacy precedes them. Just the name ‘Courtney Love’ is… You’re big, honey. You’re Hollywood. (laughs) Touring with Courtney Love was, like, an Elizabeth Taylor diamond (for me).

Courtney Love: You know, I met Elizabeth Taylor. I was with Carrie Fisher at Taylor’s Easter party and she was taking six hours to come downstairs.

Lana Del Rey: I love it.

Courtney Love: I looked at Carrie and I said, ‘This is not worth it,’ and Carrie said, ‘Oh, yes it is.’ So we snuck upstairs and, Lana, when you go past the Warhol of Elizabeth Taylor as you’re sneaking up the stairs and it says ‘001’, you start getting goosebumps. And then you see her room and it’s all lavender, like her eyes. And she’s in the bathroom getting her hair done by this guy named José Eber who wears a cowboy hat and has long hair, and I’m like, ‘What am I doing here? I’m not Hollywood royalty.’ And the first words out of her mouth are, like, ‘Fuck you, Carrie, how ya doin’?’ She was so salty but such a goddess at the same time.

Lana Del Rey: She was so salty. The fact that she married Richard Burton twice – and all the stories you hear about those famous, crazy, public brawls – she was just up for it. Up for the trouble.

Courtney Love: You know what, darling? I started real early. I started stalking Andy Warhol before I could even think about it. And you kind of did the same, from my understanding. That ‘I want to make it’ thing. And there’s nothing wrong with that.

Lana Del Rey: No, there’s not. There’s nothing wrong with it when you do the rest of it for the right reasons. If music is really in your blood and you don’t want to do anything else and you don’t really care about the money until later. It’s also about the vibe, not to be cliched. And the people. I think we had that in common. It was about wanting to go to shows, wanting to have your own show – living, breathing, eating, all of it.

Courtney Love: Can I ask you about your time in New Jersey? Was that a soul-searching time?

Lana Del Rey: Oh, I don’t even know if I should have said to anyone that I was living in that trailer in New Jersey but, stupidly, I did this interview from the trailer, in 2008.

Courtney Love: I saw it!

Lana Del Rey: It’s cringy, it’s cringy. (laughs)

Courtney Love: You look so cute, though.

Lana Del Rey: I thought I was rockabilly. I was platinum. I thought I had made it in my own way.

Courtney Love: I understand completely.

Lana Del Rey: The one thing I wish I’d done was go to LA instead of New York. I had been playing around for maybe four years, just open mics, and I got a contract with this indie label called 5 Points Records in 2007. They gave me $10,000 and I found this trailer in New Jersey, across the Hudson - Bergen Light Rail. So, I moved there, I finished school and I made that record (Lana Del Ray A.K.A. Lizzy Grant), which was shelved for two and a half years, and then came out for, like, three months. But I was proud of myself. I felt like I had arrived, in my own way. I had my own thought and it was kind of kitschy and I knew it was going to sort of influence what I was doing next. It was definitely a phase. (laughs)

Courtney Love: But you have records about being a ‘Brooklyn Baby’. You can write about New York adeptly and I cannot. I tried to write a song about a tragic girl in New York, going down Bleecker Street – this girl couldn’t afford Bleecker Street, so the song made no sense, right? (laughs) I did my time there, but it chased me away. I couldn’t do it because I wouldn’t go solo. I had to have a band.

Lana Del Rey: I wanted a band so badly. I feel like I wouldn’t have had some of the stage fright I had when I started playing bigger shows if I had a real group and we were in it together. I really wanted that camaraderie. I actually didn’t even find that until a couple of years ago, I would say. I’ve been with my band for six years and they’re great, but I wished I had people – I fantasized about Laurel Canyon.

Courtney Love: I wanted the camaraderie. The alternative bands in my neighbourhood were the Red Hot Chili Peppers and Jane’s Addiction. I knew Perry (Farrell, Jane’s Addiction frontman) and I went to high school for, like, ten seconds with two Peppers and a guy named Romeo Blue who became Lenny Kravitz. I remember being an extra in a Ramones video and he stopped by when he was dating Lisa Bonet from The Cosby Show and it was a big deal.

Lana Del Rey: See? You didn’t really see that in New York. When I got there, The Strokes had had a moment, but that was kind of it. LA has always been the epicenter of music, I feel.

Courtney Love: LA is easier. People have garages. And then as you go up the coast, in Washington and Oregon people have bigger houses and bigger garages, and people have parents. I didn’t have parents, and you – well, you had parents, but you were on your own.

Lana Del Rey: Yeah. You know that song of yours (Awful) that says, ‘Just shut up, you’re only 16’? I think there are different types of people. There are people who heard, ‘What do you know? You’re just a kid,’ and then there are people who got a lot of support from the line, like, ‘Go for it, go for your dreams.’ (laughs) And I think when you don’t have that, you get kind of stuck at a certain age. Randomly, in the last few years, I feel like I’ve grown up. Maybe I’ve just had time to think about everything, process everything. I’ve gotten to move on and think about how it feels now, singing songs I wrote ten years ago. It does feel different. I was almost reliving those feelings on stage until recently. It’s weird listening back to my stuff. Today, I was watching some of your old videos and this footage of you playing a big festival. The crowd was just girls – just young girls for rows and rows. I was reminded of how vast that influence was on teenagers. And – going back to enigma and fame and legacy – you know, those girls who have grown up and girls who are 16 now, they relate to you in the exact same way as they did right when you started. And that’s the power of your craft. You’re one of my favourite writers.

Courtney Love: You’re one of mine, so, checkmate. (laughs)

Lana Del Rey: What you did was the epitome of cool. And there’s a lot of different music going on, but adolescents still know when something comes authentically from somebody’s heart. It might not be the song that sells the most, but when people hear it, they know it. Are you a John Lennon fan?

Courtney Love: When I hear ‘Working Class Hero’, it’s a song I wish to God I could write. I wouldn’t ever cover it. I mean, Marianne Faithfull covered it beautifully, but I would never cover it because I think Marianne did a great job and that’s all that needs to be said.

Lana Del Rey: I felt that way when I covered ‘Chelsea Hotel (#2)’, the Leonard Cohen song, but when I was doing more acoustic shows, I couldn’t not do it.

Courtney Love: I don’t have your range. I’ve tried to sing along to ‘Brooklyn Baby’ and ‘Dark Paradise’ and this new one, ‘Love’. You go high, baby.

Lana Del Rey: I’ve got some good low ones for you. You know what would be good, is that song, ‘Ride’. I don’t sing it in its right octave during the shows because it’s too low for me. But I’ve been thinking about doing something with you for a little while now. Then after we did the Endless Summer tour, we were thinking we should at least write, or we should just do whatever and maybe you could come down to the studio and just see what came out.

Courtney Love: When we were on tour, our pre-show chats were very productive for me.

Lana Del Rey: Me too. That was a real moment of me counting my blessings. I just wanted to stay in every single moment and remember all of it, because it was so amazing.

Courtney Love: Likewise. It was really fun coming into your room. My favourite part of the tour was in Portland, getting you vinyl that I felt you needed. (laughs)

Lana Del Rey: When you left the room, I was just running my hand over all the vinyl like little gems, like, ‘I can’t believe I have these records that Courtney gave to me, it’s so fucking amazing.’ And we were in Portland, too. It felt surreal.

Courtney Love: Yeah, I don’t like going there much but I went there with you. We have this in common, too: we both ran away to Britain. If I could live anywhere in the world, I’d live in London.

Lana Del Rey: If I could live anywhere in the world other than LA, I’d live in London. In the back of my mind, I always feel like I could maybe end up there.

Courtney Love: I know I’m going to end up there. I know what neighbourhood I’m going to end up in, and I know that I want to be on the Thames. I subscribe to this magazine called Country Life which is just real-estate porn and fox hunting. It’s amazing. OK, so, if you weren’t doing you, what would you do?

Lana Del Rey: Do you have a really clear answer for this, for yourself?

Courtney Love: Yeah, I would work with teenage girls. Girls that are in halfway houses.

Lana Del Rey: That’s got you all over it. I’m selfish. I would do something that would put me by the beach. I would be, like, a bad lifeguard. (laughs) I’d come help you on the weekends, though.

Courtney Love: Do you like being in Malibu better than being in town?

Lana Del Rey: I like the idea of it. People don’t always go out to visit you in Malibu. So there’s a lot of alone-time, which is kind of like, hmm. I’m not in indie-rock enclave Silver Lake but I love all the stuff that’s going on around there. I guess I’d have to say I prefer town, but I’ve got my half-time Malibu fantasy.

Courtney Love: The only bad thing that can happen in Malibu really is getting on Etsy and overspending.

Lana Del Rey: Oh my God, woman… (laughs) Tell me about it. Late-night sleepless Etsy binges.

Courtney Love: Regretsy binges. OK, so, lyrically, you have some tropes and one of them is the colour red. Red dresses, scarlet, red nail polish… I kind of want to steal that.

Lana Del Rey: You need to take over that because I think I’ve got to relinquish the red.

Courtney Love: Well, I overuse the word ‘whore’.

Lana Del Rey: You take ‘red’. I’ll trade for ‘whore’. I’m so lucky.

Courtney Love: I love this new song ‘Love’.

Lana Del Rey: Thank you. I love the new song, too. I’m glad it’s the first thing out. It doesn’t sound that retro, but I was listening to a lot of Shangri-Las and wanted to go back to a bigger, more mid-tempo, single-y sound. The last 16 months, things were kind of crazy in the US, and in London when I was there. I was just feeling like I wanted a song that made me feel a little more positive when I sang it. And there’s an album that’s gonna come out in the spring called Lust for Life. I did something I haven’t ever done, which is not that big of a deal, but I have a couple of collabs on this record. Speaking of John Lennon, I have a song with Sean Lennon. Do you know him?

Courtney Love: I do, I like him.

Lana Del Rey: It’s called ‘Tomorrow Never Came’. I don’t know if you’ve ever felt this way, but when I wrote it I felt like it wasn’t really for me. I kept on thinking about who this song was for or who could do it with me, and then I realized that he would be a good person. I didn’t know if I should ask him because I actually have a line in it where I say, ‘I wish we could go back to your country house and put on the radio and listen to our favourite song by Lennon and Yoko.’ I didn’t want him to think I was asking him because I was namechecking them. Actually, I had listened to his records over the years and I did think it was his vibe, so I played it for him and he liked it. He rewrote his verse and had extensive notes, down to the mix. And that was the last thing I did, decision-wise. I haven’t mixed the record, but the fact that ‘Love’ just came out and Sean kind of finished up the record, it felt very meant-to-be. Because that whole concept of peace and love really is in his veins and in his family. Then, I also have Abel Tesfaye, The Weeknd. He is actually on the title track of the record, ‘Lust for Life’. Maybe that’s kind of weird to have a feature on the title track, but I really love that song and we had said for a while that we were gonna do something; I did stuff on his last two records.

Courtney Love: Do you have a singular producer or several producers?

Lana Del Rey: Rick Nowels. He actually did stuff with Stevie Nicks a while ago. He works really well with women. I did the last few records with him. Even with Ultraviolence which I did with Dan Auerbach, I did the record first with Rick, and then I went to Nashville and reworked the sound with Dan. So, yeah, Rick Nowels is amazing, and these two engineers – with all the records that I’ve worked on with Rick, they did a lot of the production as well. You would love these two guys. They’re just super-innovative. I wanted a bit of a sci-fi flair for some of the stuff and they had some really cool production ideas. But yeah, that’s pretty much it. I mean, Max Martin –

Courtney Love: Wait, you wrote with Max Martin? You went to the compound?

Lana Del Rey: Have you been there?

Courtney Love: No. I’ve always wanted to work with Max Martin.

Lana Del Rey: So basically, ‘Lust for Life’ was the first song I wrote for the record, but it was kind of a Rubik’s Cube. I felt like it was a big song but… it wasn’t right. I don’t usually go back and re-edit things that much because the songs end up sort of being what they are, but this one song I kept going back to. I really liked the title. I liked the verse. John Janick was like, ‘Why don’t we just go over and see what Max Martin thinks?’ So, I flew to Sweden and showed him the song. He said that he felt really strongly that the best part was the verse and that he wanted to hear it more than once, so I should think about making it the chorus. So I went back to Rick Nowels’ place the next day and I was like, ‘Let’s try and make the verse the chorus,’ and we did, and it sounded perfect. That’s when I felt like I really wanted to hear Abel sing the chorus, so he came down and rewrote a little bit of it. But then I was feeling like it was missing a little bit of the Shangri-Las element, so I went back for a fourth time and layered it up with harmonies. Now I’m finally happy with it. (laughs) But we should do something. Like, soon.

Courtney Love: I would like that. That would be awesome.

anonymous asked:

FYI: 8 reasons why CR7 is the GOAT, therefore better than Messi. - CR7 is a better overall goals scorer. Better goals per game ratio than Messi. - CR7 is a better free- kick scorer. - Messi never prove himself outside Barca. CR7 makes his team better. Messi always rely on Xavi and Iniesta. - Messi constantly dissapears with Argentina when his team need him. - Messi usually dissapears in relevant Champion' matches. - CR7 is a better header scorer. (To be continue)

(part 2:) - CR7 is a player with more goals and assists in the history of CL, he is more decisive in this competition. - CR7 is more decisive with his national team. In WC 2010 Messi score 0 goal even North Korea score more than him. In WC 2014 only scored in a group stage. Don’t mention Copa America, he just scored 1 goals and next year missed penalty. All the greatest players of all times have won with their national team. But Messi won’t. I hope this informations will get in your head. Keep crying.

I’ve avoided getting involved in this “debate” over the last few years or so, but since you took so much effort in trying to convince me of something that isn’t even an argument to me, I have some time & I’m more than happy pay you the same courtesy in explaining to you with facts why this is so. Let’s do it by looking at each of the points you’ve included this so-called “information” I’m supposed to “get in my head”:

► “CR7 is a better overall goals scorer. Better goals per game ratio than Messi.


All-time, club and country?

  • CR: 595 goals/852 matches = 0.70 goal ratio
  • Messi: 562 goals/698 matches = 0.81 goal ratio

All-time, just club?

  • CR: 524 goals/714 matches = 0.73 goal ratio
  • Messi: 504 goals/581 matches = 0.87 goal ratio

All-time, just country?

  • CR:  71 goals / 138 matches = 0.51 goal ratio
  • Messi: 58 goals / 117 matches = 0.50 goal ratio

CR’s ratio is 0.01 higher and he has had 21 more international matches played than Messi. Alright. Collectively though, that 0.01 doesn’t make him “better overall”. 

Conversion rates since 2009:

  • CR’s conversion rate total/outside the box: 15% / 5%
  • Messi’s conversion rate total/outside the box: 21% / 9%

What about when they’ve been at their very best, goalscoring-wise? Most goals scored in a calendar year:

  • CR: 69 goals (ratio: 1.17)
  • Messi: 91 goals (ratio: 1.32)

Not only is Messi better in terms of quantity of goals, he is also a better goalscorer when context is considered. How do they perform under pressure/when the team needs them the most? From 2016:

  • CR conversion rate when team is winning / when team is losing or drawing: 25% / 6%
  • Messi conversion rate when team is winning / when team is losing or drawing: 22% / 20%

Here’s an infographic (although it’s only updated up to 2015) to help better illustrate the importance of context & goalscoring when it comes to Messi and Cristiano:

(credit to Grup 14 and Sarah)

Goals after 1 dribble/2 dribbles/3 dribbles/4 dribbles:

  • CR: 45 goals/10 goals/2 goals/0 goals
  • Messi: 115 goals/40 goals/15 goals/4 goals

Pre-assisted goals:

  • CR: 13 goals
  • Messi: 90 goals

► “CR7 is a better free-kick scorer.

Not quite

  • Since Messi and Ronaldo have been playing together in Spain (2009-10 season): 
    • CR has scored 20 goals in 291 attempts. This creates a conversion rate 6.87%.
    • Messi scored 17 free-kick goals with 212 attempts, creating a conversion rate of 8.02%.
  • Since 2012: 
    • CR has scored 17; conversion rate = 7%, 
    • Messi has scored 23; conversion rate = 10.5%
  • Even more recent, just for fun: 
    • Messi has scored 3 free-kicks in 2017 alone
    • CR has converted only 3 since 2015.

What about in big matches?

  • Total free-kick goals in El Clasico: 
    • Messi = 2
    • CR = 0
  • Messi’s total free-kick goals in World Cup and Copa America matches: 2 
    • CA = 1 (vs. Panama)
    • WC = 1 (vs. Nigeria) 
  • CR’s total free-kick goals in World Cup & Euro matches: 0. 
    • With 43 attempts. On average, he has had a shot from a direct free-kick every 67 minutes he has been on the pitch (with a total of 2,884 minutes at major international tournaments) and has a ZERO PERCENT conversion rate.

► “Messi never proved himself outside Barca.”

The old “but can he do it on a cold, wet Tuesday night in Stoke?” argument is easy to lean on because he hasn’t, but it doesn’t change that it’s an extremely flawed argument. Let’s look at why - specifically England, where CR has proved himself outside of Spain since we’re doing a head-to-head comparison. 

  • Lionel Messi has scored more Champions League goals against English clubs than he has against sides from any other nation.
    • On the 25 occasions that he has lined up against English teams, Messi has scored a total of 16 goals. 
      • Arsenal - 9 goals in 6 matches. 
      • Manchester City - 5 goals in 5 matches. 
      • Manchester United - 2 goals (which helped Barcelona claim Champions League victories in Rome in 2009 and at Wembley Stadium in 2011

Never mind him having big performances against Bayern/Leverkusen, PSG/Lyon, AC Milan/Roma, Celtic/Rangers and etc. So, something tells me the kid from Rosario - who also played very well through the rough conditions he experienced there - CAN do it on cold, rainy night in Stoke. If you think he cannot simply because he hasn’t, that’s up to you. You’re entitled to your opinion. But the stats tell us another story.

► “CR7 makes his team better.”

Sure he does, he is one of football’s greatest. But Messi makes his even better

Messi’s total major club trophies: 29 TOTAL (including 2 trebles, one of those years winning the sextuple)

  • 8 League championships
  • 4 Champions Leagues
  • 4 Copas del Rey
  • 3 UEFA Supercups
  • 3 Club World Cups
  • 7 Supercopas de España

CR total major club trophies (RM+Manchester United): 16 TOTAL

  • 4 League championships
  • 2 Copas del Rey
  • 2 Champions Leagues
  • 1 Supercopa de España
  • 1 FA Cup
  • 1 EFL Cup
  • 1 Community Shield
  • 3 Club World Cups
  • 1 Super Cup 

Stats since 2009, when Messi and CR started playing together in the same league:

  • CR + RM: 9 major Trophies
    • + 1 Liga
    • + 2 Copas del Rey
    • + 2 Champions Leagues
    • + 1 Supercopa de España
    • + 2 Club World Cups
    • + 1 Super Cup
  • Messi + Barça: 20 major trophies
    • + 5 Ligas
    • + 3 Copas del Rey
    • + 2 Champions Leagues
    • + 5 Supercopas de España
    • + 3 Club World Cups
    • + 2 UEFA Super Cups

All-time assists, club and country:

  • CR: 195, in 852 matches
  • Messi: 230, in 698 matches

    ► “Messi always relies on Xavi and Iniesta.

    Another archaic myth that Messi has destroyed year after year. Crazy that people are still hanging on to this, even after Xavi has been gone for two years now and Iniesta has been on/off form while dealing with playing in/out of position. Meanwhile, Messi has continued to improve and remain the greatest. 

    This myth seemingly makes sense due to Messi’s lack of titles with Argentina compared to his achievements at Barca - but again, this is a very flawed argument. Messi is the greatest player in the world and Xavi/Iniesta are two of the greatest midfielders/were one of the greatest midfield duos of this generation. Together, the three of them contributed to a Barça that won everything a club can within a short span of time. But how can we say in the same sentence that “Barça is only successful because they rely on Messi” AND “Messi is only successful because he relies on Xavi/Iniesta”? Grasping at straws like this really isn’t necessary, because the truth of the matter is that they simply formed a brilliant partnership together. Barcelona successfully utilized the talents of these incredible players together to succeed. Some facts to further debunk this:

    • During Messi’s record breaking year when he scored 91 goals, he was assisted only eight times by Iniesta and five times by Xavi. 
    • Neither Xavi nor Iniesta have even assisted Messi the most in his career. It’s Dani Alves. 
    • Messi continues to have the most Barcelona assists himself since 2003/2004. At Barcelona, he has more assists alone than Iniesta and Xavi combined in their club careers.

    But maybe assists alone cannot determine the impact Xavi or Iniesta has on Messi. Alright, what about pre-assisted goals (goals pre-assisted by the scorer)?

    • As we said before, as of 2016, 90 of Messi’s goals were pre-assisted. This means that in ~23% of his goals, he started the play with key passes that ended up back with him scoring. 
    • While CR, surrounded by Modric, Kroos, Ozil, Di Maria, etc. (I’m not sure why people like to act like he hasn’t been surrounded by top players) throughout his career sits at 13 pre-assisted goals. 

    Not convinced? Then let’s look at Messi’s performances for Argentina, where he has no Xavi/Iniesta. You said….

    ► “Messi constantly disappears with Argentina when his team need him. CR7 is more decisive with his national team.

    Which is again, false. Of all the big name players that play for Argentina, you call the man who is, for his national team, the…

    • Top scorer in all international competitions, including friendlies
    • Top scorer in International friendlies
    • Top scorer from the penalty spot
    • Top scorer in all U-20 international competitions
    • Top scorer in FIFA World Cup qualification
    • Top scorer when looking at goals scored in one calendar year
    • Top hat-trick scorer in all international competitions, including friendlies
    • Top assister in all international competitions, including friendlies
    • Only player that have scored against all 9 South American Nations
    • Key contributor in terms of keeping possession, averaging 63 passes per game and converting 86.2 percent.

    “disappearing”, “dependent on Xavi/Iniesta” and "indecisive”?

    • Argentina’s National Team Win % in 2014 and 2018 World Cup Qualification with Messi: 65%
    • Without Messi? 22%.

      Not quite. 

      I would suggest reading and watching [this analysis] for a better perspective on this. There is a video there which compares how Messi plays for Argentina and how he plays for Barcelona and it reveals that there isn’t much difference between how he plays for both sides, but there is a difference in the behaviour of his teammates. The confidence that Messi receives from his teammates in Barcelona is far different from what he is offered by his teammates in Argentina. As I said before, Barcelona has been able to successfully utilize Messi’s talents/abilities and have reaped every award there is because of it - something Argentina has failed to take advantage of so far. 

      In regards to CR with this, a reminder:

      • CR goals international: 71 goals / 138 matches = 0.51 goal ratio
      • Messi goals: 58 goals / 117 matches = 0.50 goal ratio

      A difference of 0.01, with CR playing 21 more international games.

      International Assists?

      • CR: 23
      • Messi: 37 (in 21 less matches)

      International Goal Participation?

      • CR: Every 113m + 25s
      • Messi: Every 99m + 12s

      ► “In WC 2010 Messi score 0 goal even North Korea score more than him. In WC 2014 only scored in a group stage. Don’t mention Copa America, he just scored 1 goals and next year missed penalty.”

      It’s true that Messi didn’t score in WC 2010. He did get an assist (the same amount as CR in the tournament) and was named MOTM once (the same number of times as CR in the tournament). Funny you should mention North Korea though, the ONLY team Ronaldo scored against in WC 2010. Once. After Portugal was already up 6-0. 

      Also, I’m not sure which WC 2014 you were watching. I was watching the one where Ronaldo’s only goal in this tournament was also in the group stage (against Ghana), while Messi scored four times in the group stages, assisted Di Maria’s goal which carried them in the round of 16, and carried his team to the final. 

      And lol ”don’t mention Copa America”? Why? Because Leo carried his team to the final twice in two years?

      In 2015:

      • 1 goal, 2 penalties (including the ONLY one of his teammates to do so in the final) 
      • 3 assists

      In 2016: 

      • 5 goals 
      • 4 assists
        • (If you want to compare to CR’s Euro 2016, where he scored 3 and assisted 3). 
      • Again, carried his team to the final. But sure, summarize the tournament as a “missed penalty” to fit your narrative. 

      Also worth mentioning that in 2007, at age 20, he also set up the game winning goal against the US in the opening 4-1 win, scored the game-tying first goal vs Colombia in their 4-2 win, assisted their only goal against Paraguay in the beginning of the knockout stage, scored the second goal in their quarter-final victory, and another in their 3-0 semifinal win - which lead to the first of the three Copa America finals he’s played in. 

      ► “CR7 is a better header scorer.

      Yes, a 6′1 CR is better at scoring headers than a 5′7 Messi (*pretends to be shocked*). CR just passed Aduriz for this record a few months ago actually, which isn’t surprising - Cristiano has shown he’s very good in the air. Nobody is denying that Cristiano has great qualities as a player. But as I’m sure you would agree, this argument alone, does not cement anyone as the greatest of all time. Also notable to mention that Barça as a team - tactics/style kept in mind - score less headers. Next. 

      ► “Messi disappears in relevant Champions League matches.

      Did you even try with this one? A few examples of how wrong this is off the top of my head? 

      UCL Final vs. Manchester United, 2009

      UCL Quarterfinals vs. Arsenal, 2010

      • Scored four goals in the second leg, the first three in just 21 minutes

      UCL Semifinals vs. Real Madrid, 2011

      • Scored twice in ten minutes in the first leg. We advanced to the final 3-1 on aggregate. 

      UCL Final vs. Manchester United, 2011

      UCL Semifinals vs. Bayern, 2015

      • Nobody will ever forget his two goals in this extremely ‘relevant’ match, as you put it.
      • Was also at the heart of Neymar’s second goal in the second leg.

      UCL Final at Berlin against Juventus, 2015

      • Messi’s pass to Alba sparked the first goal scored by Rakitic
      • Messi was at the heart of the counter attack which gave Barca the lead again.
      • He wasn’t on the scoresheet, but he made his presence felt.

      It’s true that our last two Champions League tournaments were not what we hoped they would be, but in our ‘relevant’ matches then, Leo still scored 3 against Arsenal over both legs and scored a crucial penalty in our historic PSG comeback this year.

      I couldn’t help but notice how you didn’t have a counter-response about CR and ‘relevant’ CL matches. Could it have to do with numbers like this, from last season?:

      ^ (And again, credit to Sarah for this.)

      And speaking of ‘relevant’ matches, why not mention ‘relevant’ league matches?

      Credit to Grup 14 for the graph. Messi’s line (higher than CR’s in all aspects) shows a relatively steady performance in games (goals/assists) that isn’t affected by the quality of the opposition - so he’s there (more or less) regardless of ‘relevance’ of the match. Meanwhile, as we can see, CR follows an obvious increase in performance as the quality of the opposing team decreases.

      ► “CR7 is a player with more goals and assists in the history of CL, he is more decisive in this competition

      CR does have an advantage when it comes to assists in this competition (37 in 145 vs. Messi’s 25 in 115) - the only competition which he surpasses Messi in assists. And I’m certainly not denying that he’s decisive in this competition. Nobody could.

      But with goals:

      • CR: 104 goals in 145 games = 0.72 goals/game
      • Messi: 94 goals in 115 games = 0.82 goals/game

      And ultimately, titles:

      • CR: 3
      • Messi: 4

       ► “All the greatest players of all times have won with their national team. But Messi won’t.

      Cruyff. Raul. Puskas. Eusebio. Zico. Maldini. Ballack. Bergkamp. Figo. Gascoigne. Laudrup. And the list goes on.

      The greatness of these players, all who have never won an international title, are not questioned. A list Cristiano was also on just last year. Did you create this entire argument after the goal Eder scored, which CR watched from the bench?Did that moment make you believe it can overshadow all of the facts above? 

      If you want to get technical, Messi won with Argentina in 2008, when he became an olympic champion and was highlighted as one of the standout players in the tournament. 

      Neither CR nor Leo has lead their team to a World Cup. 

      But it is true that Messi hasn’t won a Copa America, despite playing in 3 finals and standing out in each one of those tournaments. 

      ► Other:

      • Most Ballons d'Or (5): Messi
      • Most consecutive Ballons d'Or (4): Messi
      • Most goals in La Liga history (347): Messi
      • Most assists in La Liga history (137): Messi
      • Most goals scored in a La Liga season (50): Messi
      • Most goals scored in a club season (73): Messi
      • Most goals in El Clasico history (23): Messi
      • Most assists in El Clasico history (13): Messi

      All I have to say is that if after going through the facts, doing some reading (some suggestions = Lionel Messi is ImpossibleBeyond stats and stunts - The gulf between Messi and Cristiano Ronaldo widened in 2016Lionel Messi vs Cristiano Ronaldo - Who’s the best goalscorer?Messi vs Cristiano Ronaldo - What defines a big-game player?, and the Messi vs. Ronaldo resource), some watching/listening (check out Lionel Messi - The World’s GreatestCruijffCast - Episode 7 - Messi x Cristiano Ronaldo, Lionel Messi vs. No Space, and Lionel Messi - The 10 Smartest Skills Without Touching the Ball), and maybe just watching some of Messi’s matches that will show you the things stats can’t fully capture… if you believe that headers in a differing styles of play and one international title can justify your entire argument, then there’s no more convincing I can do. This is why I like to stay out of this debate these days. Because for me, although CR is undoubtedly one of the great players of this generation, the greatest of all time isn’t debatable. 

      So if you haven’t guessed it by now, there are no tears over here. If you need a tissue though, let me know!

      The white road

      I am 24 when my doctor tells me that I was abused. She doesn’t tell me what happened to me, or plant any memories that weren’t already there. She takes what I have told her and she puts it all inside those six letters, that one word.

      Before she takes my memories and gives me that word, I tell her that I have made the appointment because I want to know why I can’t stand being touched. I tell her that I’m 24 and I’m sick of flinching when shop assistants hand me my change, just in case their fingers brush against my palm and there is that fire again, the one that rushes up from my bone to the membrane of my skin any time it comes into contact that I wasn’t expecting. I tell her that I have been trying to do this properly, from dating to everything else, and it’s like I’m blocked. It’s like I’m missing a piece of myself that makes me an adult, or perhaps even a human, and I don’t know where it’s gone.

      Read more (mobile)

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      theoremofwhat  asked:

      Would you say that each chapter is a scene with one large event in it, or that a chapter has multiple little scenes that lead into something larger? Does this question make sense? I'm struggling with this...

      A chapter is a section of a book that contains multiple scenes that form a coherent narrative arc. A scene is a single event, or closely related series of events that lead directly from one to the next, which forms a coherent narrative arc. Scenes can transition by a break in the text, or by a transitional phrase.

      Let’s use an example. I think most people can access the first Harry potter book pretty easily, so we’ll use that.

      Chapter One of the Philosopher’s stone covers the Dursley’s home life before Harry is dropped off, through to the discovery of Harry on the door step by Aunt Petunia. There are multiple scenes within the chapter, though there are no breaks in the text (a break is signified by a white space between two paragraphs.)

      Chapter One is 12 pages long, and it has no text breaks, but we’ll look through the first few scenes together to see how they flow from one to the next.

      The first scene of the first chapter introduces the Dursleys and their home dynamic, as well as establishing their mundane life and suggesting the extraordinary events that are going to follow. I’d place the end of scene one as when Uncle Vernon gets in his car and leaves the drive.

      Scene two follows on directly, a little way down the road he sees ‘a cat reading a map’. He also notices other odd things in the streets as he heads in to work, but when he arrives there, there’s another scene change as he pulls into the car park.

      Uncle Vernon sits with his back to the window, so the third scene is his ‘perfectly ordinary day’, which is then interrupted by his overhearing a discussion of the Potters in the street.

      So those are the first three scenes in the chapter. Let’s have a look at the transitional phrases that move us from one scene to the next. You’ll notice that these scenes are very short, and don’t contain much description – this chapter utilises a storybook style to set up the mood of the narrative, giving us a jaunty depiction of people who don’t want to be seen as weird. You could even think of this first chapter as being ‘telling, not showing’, which is a stylistic choice.

      The phrase that the first scene ends on is “He got into his car and backed out of number four’s drive.” And this is the last line of the paragraph. The next paragraph picks up some way down the road “It was on the corner of the street that he noticed the first sign of something peculiar …” Between these two phrases, we have the information that Vernon has left home and driven some distance before the events of the second scene begin.

      This second scene takes up two paragraphs and details his trip to work, and seeing the odd things happening, it ends with “The traffic moved on and a few minutes later, Mr Dursley arrived in the Grunnings car park, his mind back on drills.” And the next paragraph begins the next scene with “Mr Dursley always sat with his back to the window in his office on the ninth floor.”

      There’s a sequence occurring here, the scenes are separated by a shift in physical setting, character action, and time. Time progresses, the character moves through the town, and he goes from one activity to another (morning with the family, driving to work, sitting in the office).

      It might be helpful to go through the rest of the chapter yourself and see if you can figure out where the rest of the scenes fit, and how they move from one to another. You can also look at how each scene is composed – the first one, for example, contains the initial lead-in discussing how ordinary and normal the Dursleys are, and then closes in on their morning routine – If you don’t have this book to hand, you could try it with a chapter of a book you do have.

      Of course, different authors have different styles, some will have longer chapters and some shorter. Some will prefer transitional phrases like what we’ve looked at above, and some will use text breaks to shift from one scene to the next. In Chapter Three of the Philosopher’s Stone, there’s an example of a text break between scenes, so we might as well look at that while we’re here.

      This is on page 33 of the book.

      So Harry goes to bed in the evening, with ‘a plan’, and then the next morning with the alarm ringing the next scene begins. If it were a transition phrase between the two scenes, you might have had something like: 

      … He had a plan. 
                Harry set his alarm and when it rang at six o’clock the next morning he turned it off quickly and dressed silently.

      The transition phrase creates continuity and flow between one scene and the next, but it isn’t always necessary. The advantage of the text break is that it gives a sense of urgency to the transition between two scenes, and it can be a lot neater. It can eliminate unnecessary detail and action which could bog down the narrative and make the reader lose interest. 

      We don’t need to read about Harry cleaning his teeth and going to bed, setting the alarm, sleeping through the night. All we need to know is that he has a plan, and then wakes up early to carry it out.

      It might give you a better idea of how things fit together if you take a few different books and just read through the first chapter of each one, taking note of how the chapter is divided into discrete scenes. 

      • Does the author favour text breaks or transitions?
      • How many scenes do you think there are in each first chapter?
      • How long is the first chapter of each book you choose?
      • How long, generally, are the scenes that form the chapter?

      Reading a lot of different books with an eye to taking note of the structural elements and how they work to give the piece tone, atmosphere, tension, traction, etc is the best way to get a handle on how to construct a story yourself.


      As someone who specializes in jackass characters (i.e. evil, bad, morally corrupt, etc.) I’ve been meaning to make this guide for all my fellow roleplayers trying their hand at harvesting their evil seedlings. I hope you enjoy my guide and it helps you. If it doesn’t, though, at least you laughed due to my hilarious commentary.

      Keep reading


      Disclaimer & Masterpost 

      Summary: Kakashi can’t help the whimsical smile on his face as he watches his former students, interacting with one another as if no time has passed. This peace won’t last long, he knows. But for right now, in this tiny medical tent, they can all pretend for a little longer that everything is going to work out perfectly. [NarutoWeek2017 – Day 1 - Prompt: “Team 7”]

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      caerulaen  asked:

      i love your s12 spn meta post, i love how you've analysed things and looked through different angles, but i have to admit. sometimes i feel that us fans of the show think more complexly about the characters and scenes than the writers themselves. they've shown continuity errors and character development mistakes time and time again, and the queerbaiting is frustrating as fuck. it doesn't make sense to me that these people are the same ones orchestrating such fantastic plotlines.

      (i ran out of space for that previous ask) but again, i sincerely mean no disrespect to you or to the creators of the show. it was just my two cents. i’m sorry if you find it offensive in any way, i definitely did not mean for it to come off as rude! :(

      Hi… I didn’t take it as rude, so you’re fine. :P

      (I probably wouldn’t have posted it on anon, though, just because I don’t see the show as being fully of continuity errors and character development mistakes, and “queerbaiting” is in the eye of the beholder and seems a harsh statement to level against a writing staff that is comprised of several LGBT writers. Especially when they have been addressing queer characters and issues in serious ways, and absolutely not making them the punchline of a joke or dismissing them. It’s a word I would not throw around so casually.)

      ***On second thought, after typing ALL of this out, I feel like having spent the whole morning on it, it should be on my blog… I hope that’s okay.

      Half the point of my rewatch (which, oops, I’m behind on because TNT showed a ten episode marathon the morning after a new episode aired, and the new episode had to take priority over the old) is to point out how consistent ALL of these things are.

      There’s a post I like very much that I just saw again yesterday:

      People should probably learn the difference between “plot holes” and “things I didn’t like” or “things the franchise plans to explain in the future” or “things film makers didn’t think they needed to explicitly explain because they thought you had critical thinking skills”

      I didn’t reblog it because it’s already somewhere on my blog from ages ago, but especially relevant to s12, because of the way they’re telling the story.

      99% of the time what looks on the surface like a “plot hole” is actually an expansion of canon, and yelling PLOT HOLE! or RETCON! just because something seems different means there’s a reason for the difference now.

      Like the fact we’ve seen several shapshifters who don’t shed their skin like puddles of goo and can just *poof* into a new form. We’ve had shifters like this since s6 when we learned about the alphas. Truly powerful shifters don’t need to shed to change form.

      (on a practical level, it makes the prop department’s job easier because they don’t have to create goo puddles, but also they’re able to use a shifter’s ability to change instantly as a plot point, and have done so several times very effectively. Like in 12.20 when Ketch was torturing “Mary” and punched her, so the shifter took on HIS form. They couldn’t have done that if they hadn’t introduced this more powerful strain of shifter before.)

      Technically, everything that’s happened since 4.01 would fit the strictest definition of plot hole, because it had already been established that angels did not exist. And yet… here were angels.

      Cas said in the past that angels were now walking the earth for the first time in two thousand years, so the fact he’d been down here in a vessel in 1901 must be a plot hole too… unless you assume that Cas’s previous statement was both specific and hyperbolic (which really isn’t a stretch, angels have always avoided certain truths in order to manipulate us). Angels as a whole hadn’t embarked on a unified mission to earth in the last 2000 years, but we know that Lily’s first encounter with Ishim in 1901 was because SHE SUMMONED HIM. She performed a magical spell that BROUGHT AN ANGEL TO EARTH. And the events of their relationship unfolded to the point she felt compelled to summon yet another angel (Akobel) to protect her from Ishim. Well, suddenly there’s a whole flight of angels coming to kill her, you know? It’s not the sort of story that any of the angels involved would be cheerfully chirping on about.

      Point being, if Lily Sunder was capable of summoning an angel, there’s probably been OTHER people over the course of human history who’d tried it too. All of heaven may not have descended like they did in s4, but here and there, angels very well may have been watching over us.

      It’s not a plot hole, it’s an expansion of canon. It refines our understanding and reminds us that we don’t know everything about the entire history of that universe.

      I think there’s two kinds of people: Those who see something they think is a “mistake” in canon and scream PLOT HOLE! and get upset about it and think the writers are idiots, and then there are those who see that same thing and wonder how does that fit with the information I already have and then try to understand.

      Sometimes a plot hole is just a plot hole (like the time travel nonsense in 12.13 that turns into a strange loop of infinitely decreasing returns), but most of the time it’s really really not.

      As for characterization “errors”, most of the time they are incredibly purposeful. Like the whole scene at the beginning of 12.15. People are STILL shouting, “Out of character! Dean hates germs! He would NEVER do that!” and therefore MISSED THE ENTIRE POINT OF THAT SCENE.

      Which was SAM standing there staring at Dean THINKING THE EXACT SAME THING.

      Dean was putting on the performance FOR SAM. He KNEW Sam was lying to him about where the cases were coming from, and Dean’s not a moron. They visit the MoL, and suddenly a few days later Sam’s got a “magic phone app” that finds cases for him? Yeah, Dean wasn’t about to let Sam keep lying to him, and yet Sam was STILL lying to him even after two weeks of hunting, so he kept upping the Disgusting Quota trying to get Sam to break and confess. Because if he just comes out and asks Sam directly, he continues to lie and give him weak excuses. There’s more to it than that, but that’s the basics right there…

      The one characterization thing that actually bugs me was the scene in 9.04 where Sam and Dean are watching Game of Thrones with Charlie, and Jensen and Jared DECIDED TO SWAP LINES because they felt that Sam was the one who would read the books, and not Dean… (Robbie Thompson, who wrote the scene, is still grumpy about it, too). Because DEAN DOES READ. And in this scene HE was the one who was supposed to be mirrored to Charlie through their mutual love of this particular brand of nerdery. It sort of wrecks the entire characterization of the episode, in which Dean’s usual “performing Dean” persona was SUPPOSED to fall down in Charlie’s company, and he would casually and comfortably admit he enjoyed reading the epic fantasy series (which, really, we know Dean reads fantasy novels… he’s a huge effing nerd).

      Why do you think in 11.04 (also by Robbie Thompson) he wrote the line about Dean knowing that the phrase “god helps those who helps themselves” was from Aesop and not the bible? Because Jensen COULDN’T JUST HAND THAT LINE TO JARED. He HAD to admit he read. Because Performing Dean is one thing, but when he’s not trying to project that facade, he’s brilliant.

      So yeah, 99% of it is 100% intentional. It’s our job as viewers to think about why. You can absolutely watch the show as a passive casual viewer (and the most casual viewer wouldn’t even NOTICE the things that get called plot holes or characterization mistakes), or you can see those things that seem not to make sense on the surface and look for the reason they struck you as being slightly wrong. Because if you dig just a little bit deeper, it opens up an entire new level of understanding about the show.

      The writing is NEVER going to hand you all of that deeper characterization on a plate. That would make for TERRIBLE writing. All they want is for the characters and the plots to stick with us, so that we DO turn these issues over in our heads, so we DO think critically about them, and hopefully come to some compelling and fascinating conclusions. Or at the very least we’re eager to tune in again the following week to see if our suspicions are confirmed.

      This is a hook that writers have been using since writing was a thing. This is how stories are told. Not just in the words, but in the negative spaces. We’re not just supposed to consume stories, but in the very best way, the best stories also consume US. They make us into an active participant in the narrative, and force us to consider the world and characters on our screens as real people.

      That’s how all of this works.

      Created Sapphire Theory

      So, a lot of people have been concerned. The jig is up, right? Blue Diamond can’t be active on Homeworld while Lapis and her partner are trapped on Earth with Blue Fusion theory still in effect. Sure, we still don’t have any good answer for those statues; sure, Lapis is looking more suspicious than ever because she’s allegedly a “mere” worker bee here to assist in oceanic building projects and yet inexplicably she has an incredibly high sense of her importance and is clearly trying hard to cover up something major. But, none of that matters: the center is, we’ve seen Blue Diamond.

      Have we, though?

      (I’ll put the readmore here so anyone who’s already rolling your eyes can just skim over the post and go on with their lives)

      Keep reading

      theirprofoundbond  asked:

      Can we talk about how at the end of 12.12 Mary said, "I almost lost one of my boys." Like, no, she's hardly the best mother figure, but the fact that Cas is "one of her boys"? omg. That felt huge to me.

      I have to say - I’m having complicated feelings for Mary right now - not only Mary not coming clean about the Colt to Ramiel when there was a slight chance he was going to kill her and let the others go, but mostly Mary turning over one of the most powerful weapons in existence to a secret organization she knows nothing about - also people who tortured and skinned her son.

      The kindest explanation for Mary not saying anything in that barn was to assume she’d sort of - frozen in fear? After all, she may have caught up with her reading (we don’t know what she’s been up to, exactly), but to her, yellow-eyes demons must be the worst kind of enemies - much more close and personal than anything else. And as for her involvement with the BMoL - I’ll go all Tale of The Three Brothers on this and say Mary’s sort on a path of self-destruction, and she doesn’t care who else gets hurt as long as she gets what she was promised: the end of the supernatural threat utterly and completely. I’m not saying she doesn’t love Sam and Dean, and, as you say, she seems to have taken to Cas as well (even if, I’ll admit, it seemed a bit forced to me), but we know she feels a big disconnect with the world around her, because that’s not where she belongs. And in her mind, her sons are already dead, in a sense, because everything she’d hoped for them went up in flames in that nursery, and if she could only fix that - if she could rid the world of monsters, once and for all - any price is worth that, including, I suspect, the lives of anyone she’s ever met, like Wally, whom she considered a friend, or even Sam and Dean. 

      I’m probably wrong, but I’ve been wondering, on and off, how much guilt Mary is carrying around. In a way, she got her parents killed, and we know that with their deaths, a whole dynasty of hunters crumbled away into nothingness. How many lives were lost because Samuel Campbell wasn’t there to coordinate the hunts on those monsters? Is that why Mary kept hunting, even if she’d gotten out? Because one day she turned on the radio in her ordinary, sigil-free kitchen and heard about two kids who’d been gutted in an ‘animal attack’ and knew - she just did - that this was a nest of vampires her father had been tracking before she traded his life for John’s?

      All this to say that, if it make sense, her inclusion of Cas as one of ‘my boys’ wasn’t so much as a statement in Cas’ favour, but a downgrading of her own sons, in my view. We already know she’s feeling complicated feelings for both of them, and now we’re learning that those extend to not involving them in her decisions and not trusting them and even putting their lives on the line if necessary. And I’m sure Mary loves her sons, and that she’s including Cas in her brood because of that hunter/soldier philosophy they all seem to function by, but I think she also feels responsible for the rest of the world - perhaps even for giving birth to the archangels’ vessels, who knows - and since she hasn’t long left on Earth, she’s determined to put everything right, no matter the cost.

      And, by the way - not that I’m still obsessing over that, but Cas’ I love you - I’ve read some people frowning at the fact there were two different sentences there, and I now think Mary was the reason why. It wasn’t singular and plural - it was two different plurals. Because, well, look at Cas’ whole speech - 

      Thank you. Knowing you, it - it’s been the best part of my life. And the things that - the things we’ve shared together, they have changed me. You’re my family. I love you.  

      - where does Mary fit into that? Cas’ known her, like, two months? That speech is for Sam and Dean, not Mary. As is that first I love you - which is why we get a second one, I love all of you, which is a more inclusive plural.

      Anyway - I should specify this is not Mary hate - I like the character they’re building there, and I like how they’re working against the classic motherhood tropes. Still, she’s truly her sons’ mother - as guilt-ridden and martyrdom-seeking as Dean, as secretive and randomly hubristic as Sam - not a good combination.

      Warning: Samurai Jack Season 5 Spoilers ahead, don’t read if you haven’t watched

      To explain this vaguepost I made about Samurai Jack, I am going to go in depth about the latest episode of Season 5, aka episode 8. THERE WILL BE SPOILERS, so if you haven’t seen the episode scroll down and don’t read. It wont make much sense anyway if you haven’t seen it anyway and I wont be putting this under a cut for preservation purposes.

      Also, I’m going to sound very pissed off in this post, and I want you to know that it does not come from a place of hate for the show itself. I love Samurai Jack and it’s that love that makes me as passionate as I am and urges me to be so violently critical. Please be aware of this as you’re reading and don’t take what I say to heart. All critique is opinion and this is just mine.

      Alright, here we go!

      For those of you who haven’t seen the soon to be infamous, or most likely already infamous by the time of me posting this, scene, let me provide a visual for my absolute distaste for this goddamn episode.

      THIS SCENE GENUINELY DISGUSTED ME. And not because of the vile grub filled fight that preceded it, or the icky grey goo the two are covered in. No, this disgusts me because it’s a cop out. It cements the entire awkwardly cringy, hamfisted relationship that this episode bashed against our skulls and FORCED us to accept.

      Let me explain by providing a point of comparison, and because this is relevant to life recently, and because of the new game that was released. We’re going to be comparing Jack’s and Ashi’s relationship with that of Ms. Commander Shepard and Garrus Vakarian.

      First, why this episode DISGUSTED me on so many levels.

      I’ll admit, this episode started innocently enough, they wrote Jack a little more naive and wide eyed than usual as he tasted weird alien foods, but I can accept that he really has seen stuff this odd before and that it just doesn’t phase him at this point. Especially since 50 years have passed since then, although most of that time was spent with him in a depression but whatever, suspension of disbelief and all that jazz. It made for some funny scenes, despite the generic “woman are so different hurr durr” joke shoved in. It’s as soon as they get on their ride that it gets wince worthy.

      They’re forced into eachother’s space and IMMEDIATELY we see Jack regarding Ashi differently. He’s no longer treating her as the person he’s been traveling with over the span of what we can assume to be a couple of months, or even the student he had seemed to regard her as at the beginning. Suddenly, he’s stammering on his words, and acting like an awkward 8 year old with a school yard crush. I had paused MULTIPLE TIMES in this scene because it made me so sick and uncomfortable. It was so cringy that it took me an extra 10 minutes just to get through that scene alone. And it gets WORSE!

      They have an admittedly cool fight scene with some tiger furries, although more of that cringy stereotypical “boy meets girl” crap gets sprinkled in. Whatever, it ends and the two are acting the same, regarding each other as people and thankfully it continues through most of the episode.

      Until the last fight scene, that last goddamn scene. 

      This is where Ashi’s clothes just HAPPEN to be chewed off by those weird grub things, (even though they didn’t do that before and had aimed for open skin the first time but whatever, nitpicks) and Jack is stammering AGAIN because “OH BOI naked w-w-woman how do i f-f-f-f-function!!?!?!?!!?!” Whatever, it passed and again there’s another amazing fight scene with the two screaming in agony as they think this is the end, and when it  isn’t they end up macking each other’s faces! What the hell?! That was out of goddamn nowhere!

      AND IT JUST ENDS LIKE THAT! No further development, no real explanation, just over and done!

      Now I want you to compare this to Garrus and Shepard. (honestly I could’ve picked any relationship option from the game as they’re all amazing, but these two prove my point the strongest)

      They also are soldiers in arms, fighters set against incredible odds within a small group. But why is it when I think of these two and their relationship with each other I don’t want to vomit?

      BECAUSE IT COMES FROM A PLACE OF MUTUAL RESPECT. These two don’t just meet each other and act like stammering kids, and it definitely doesn’t just pop out of nowhere either. THEIR RELATIONSHIP STARTS OUT ON A STRONG FOUNDATION OF MUTUAL RESPECT AND AN ADMIRATION FOR EACH OTHER’S ABILITIES AND SKILLS AS BOTH PEOPLE AND SOLDIERS. They like each other regardless of species or gender, it all stemmed from that place of RESPECT, and as they got to know each other they grew and developed as people influenced by one another. Shepard’s decisions have a heavy impact on Garrus and his points of view in Mass Effect 1, and stretch on to the rest of the trilogy. You see the two of them regard each other fondly, see the camaraderie between them and the acknowledgement of not just their strengths, but their faults as well. They see each other as PEOPLE first and foremost.

      And you want to know when the two ACTUALLY got into their relationship? When they took that leap from friends to lovers?

      That’s right, it wasn’t until MASS EFFECT 3 when they officially declared themselves as boyfriend and girlfriend. Yeah, they dance around that line in Mass Effect 2 but EVEN THEN they were still testing things out. EVEN THEN they were figuring out where they stood, testing the waters and exploring not just each other’s bodies (yeah yeah laugh it up) but their feelings for one another. And even then it all centered around their respect and admiration as PEOPLE, and not as a man and a woman.

      And that’s what I HATE about the Samurai Jack episode. When Jack was looking at Ashi and blushing, when he was stammering on his words like a bumbling idiot, it wasn’t because of any deep seated respect for Ashi. It wasn’t any admiration that made him so clumsy and awkward. It was the typical Valentines Day, lovey dovey, shoehorned in bullcrap you see in every romance oriented episode in nearly every cartoon on TV. There’s no development, no slow steps, no figuring things out together, and definitely no development at all. It makes me uncomfortable, disgusted, and most of all disappointed.

      And I know some people will say “but Garrus was stammering too when he was in Shepard’s room in Mass Effect 2″ and listen, that’s DIFFERENT. It’s DIFFERENT because WE KNOW IT STILL COMES FROM THAT PLACE OF ADMIRATION AND RESPECT. He’s not stammering because “oh it is gurl how do i talk to gurl, beep boop error!”, he’s stammering because this is his Commander! This is his superior! And above all, this is someone who he’s looked up to for years! He wants the moment to be perfect not just for him, but for her as well, because he CARES that much about her that much! And Shepard sees this and it leads to a scene that will have INFINITELY MORE emotional impact than that goddamn scene in Samurai Jack ever will.

      This scene alone conveys more than any kiss in any shoehorned romance episode in any cartoon. And that’s what I hate the most. This is such a common trope in cartoons that people barely notice, we’re so normalized to it that we just let it pass by without so much as a sidelong glance. 

      BUT WE SHOULDN’T SETTLE FOR THIS. We should DEMAND more in depth romantic development, more fleshed out characters that impact one another as they get to know each other. Samurai Jack Season 5, Episode 8 should NOT BE THE NORM. SHAKARIAN SHOULD BE THE NORM. And that’s what disappoints me.

      Samurai Jack should be above this, it should be doing better than this. All of animation should be doing better than this goddamn episode.

      So I think it’s fair to say that Exodus has definitely been one of the better episodes of season 2. I wanted to get that out right away because overall, I really liked that episode and it felt very reminiscent of season 1.

      Which leads us to the ending scene in Kara’s apartment with Kara and m*n el. There was a lot that I take issue with. Because every ending scene with those two, for the last several episodes, always erases what we’ve learned. The messages of those scenes completely go against what the audience learned that episode and they’re also the reasons I never play the last five minutes when I rewatch. Not that season 2 has many episodes I’d ever want to watch again.

      2x11 Martian Chronicles: In the episode, Kara has valid points for not wanting to be with him and she lists them. They’re not compatible, she doesn’t want to date someone like him, etc. And everything she says is true. And at the end of the episode, we have a great Danvers sisters scene where Kara reveals her very real fears about Alex slipping away from her (something we see consistently throughout the episode) and that being the reason she wanted to go all out for Earth birthday (to remind Alex how much fun they have together). Kara’s fear of losing Alex is Kara’s plot the entire episode! And the fucking writers, two seconds after her confession, have Alex try to turn it around and say that the real reason Kara was so focused on her birthday was because she was trying to not focus for her feelings on mon ew? Does that actually make any sense? Because Kara’s sudden confusion about how she really feels does not. In canon, Kara knows what she feels. She knew she liked James and Adam. She knew she did not like Winn in a romantic sense. So having Kara say she’s confused, she doesn’t want to face her feelings for man pain and then being upset when he’s going on a date with someone else? It falls flat and I don’t buy it for a second.

      2x12 Luthors: I love this episode. There is no denying at this point that I’m probably in love with Lena Luthor. For many reasons. And yet again, I’m never going to watch those last five minutes because it is just so wildly out of place. Just as every scene with Kara talking to/about m*nel in this episode. The entire episode is Kara defending Lena. Kara trusting Lena. Kara literally fighting for Lena. They are great scenes and it brought back a little bit of that self-assured Kara we love. So having all those scenes of Kara viciously protecting Lena the whole episode and the writers then choosing that same episode to end with Kara saying she does like m*nel and wants to be with him? It’s not only extreme emotional whiplash, it’s completely laughable and honestly this was the worst episode for the writers to have put that scene because after seeing the intensity Kara defended Lena with, Kara saying she wants to be with someone who isn’t the person she spent all episode fighting for is just ridiculous. Frankly, I’m still convinced the writers just had little snippets of karamew dialogue they wanted to use at some point, opened up any episode script, and just cut and paste scenes into random locations because that’s how forced and out of place it was.

      2x13 and 2x14: I can group these nauseating episodes because it’s the same thing over and over again isn’t it? Kara asks Mr. Misogyny to do something, he completely disrespects her wishes and does what he wants instead, and the ending scene? Aw, all is forgiven and everything is okay and look at how cute they are?????? *vomits*. They don’t talk about the very real problems in their relationship, the fact that he has no respect for her and what she wants but who cares because his horrifying behavior is still rewarded by getting the girl every time! #relationshipgoals am I right? No.

      2x09 and 2x10 could probably have their own discussion too but this is already too long and the more I think about him, the bigger my headache seems to get… I’m sure it’s a coincidence, though.

      Which, finally, brings us to 2x15 Exodus.

      Again, loved this episode. We’re finally getting back to an actual plot with Cadmus and even got to see more about the Alien Registration. We got a fantastic Danvers sisters scene, amazing Alex and J’onn scenes, some real cute Sanvers, reporter Kara was back, they remembered James existed, m*new was in the background where he fucking belongs (even though he should be off the show completely), Dean Cain and Teri Hatcher were in the same episode though sadly didn’t interact (as were Teri Hatcher and Brenda Strong), and Lena Luthor(!!!<3) was back and holy shit, am I still flailing over those supercorp scenes! So yeah this episode was awesome.

      And then came the end scene in Kara’s apartment with Kara and m*nel. Are you sensing a pattern here?

      First of all, I wanted it to be Alex at the door. It should have been Alex because those two almost lost each other again in a way that is incredibly similar to Kara almost dying in space after pushing Fort Rozz away from Earth and Alex going into space to bring her back. So yes, it should have been Alex. But I knew it wouldn’t be, not while m*nel is on the show.

      The first line I have issue with is “Supergirl is what I can do. Kara Danvers is who I am.” And before you say anything, yes I know it’s an easter egg. I know it’s a famous quote from The New Adventures of Superman and when you have both Dean Cain and Teri Hatcher in an episode, how can you not have a quote from that show? And for Superman, it’s a great quote. It absolutely works for him because he has two sides that are so different.

      It does not work for Supergirl. Because while Supergirl is what she can do, she’s not Kara Danvers. Not really. She is Kara Zor-El, a Kryptonian through and through. Kara Danvers is the persona she took on at 13 years old to make sure no one found out who/what she really was. Both Supergirl and Kara Danvers’ secret identity is Kara Zor-El. So her saying “Kara Danvers is who I am”? It’s false and out of character and the writers should have chosen a better quote but their laziness is not really a surprise anymore.

      And now the line that got a lot of people heated: “Maybe being Supergirl and having you is enough” is just ludicrous. And good God, the writers truly outdid themselves here because not only does this sentence completely erase what they just established 10 seconds ago (I agree with Supergirl being what she can do but not who she is) but it goes against everything we’ve learned about Kara since the pilot. The whole first season, she’s trying to balance being Kara Danvers and Supergirl. She doesn’t just want to be Kara Danvers anymore and she doesn’t only want to be Supergirl. She wants both. And it’s difficult and we see her struggle throughout the season with those sides of her life but she keeps on going because to her, it’s so worth it. She gets to help people no matter which identity she’s under and that’s all she’s wanted. So no, her settling for being Supergirl just when she was really starting to make a difference as a reporter is not enough. It’ll never be enough.

      And of course, the “having you” part. The only, ONLY person the writers could have ever justified Kara saying this line to (even though it goes against everything we know about Kara) is Alex. Because Alex is her rock, the only reason she ever started to feel like Earth could also be home. The reason she flew into space and nearly blew out her powers trying to stop that spaceship because she would not lose her sister. And before you say anything, even if she had said this line to Lena, I would have obviously been giddy for a few seconds before wincing because it doesn’t matter who Kara says it to when it’s not true. And to do it in this episode? An episode where it was proven once again that Kara and Alex are the heart of the show only for them to have the audacity to downplay Alex’s importance to Kara and have her say that she’ll be okay so long as she has man hell? How dumb do the writers think their audience is?

      But the writers are making a habit of belittling all of Kara’s actions in an episode in order to make it all about man hell again. 2x11, 2x12, and 2x15 are some of their stronger episodes this season. But they’re also the ones where the writers are trying to make man hell seem way more important than he actually is in those last scenes. And the writers are so spectacularly failing at that since there is no way such a badly written character can ever be considered important in those great episodes because he’s just not. And they’re choosing to showcase it in episodes where it would be the most obvious. The only thing the writers are doing is weakening a good episode by turning around and making it about monew again.

      I truly don’t understand what has happened this season. I don’t understand how the writers are sending one message throughout an episode only to have Kara act like a completely different person around man hell in every ending scene just so they can cancel out that message. I don’t understand why they’re still bothering to call the show Supergirl when they’ve destroyed her character.

      TL;DR Do you think Amazon will give me a partial refund on my season pass if I just return the end scenes of every episode or should I just cancel my season pass because every scene worth watching is on youtube?

      A Time Pirates Theory (SPOILERS) [Now ‘Same Coin’]

      (…AKA, Stan is not what he seems.  Again.)

      I have a theory based on the secret page of the new Time Pirates book, the one with the axolotl that Bill invokes in the finale for the show - who gives Dipper and Mabel some very interesting information about our favorite floating triangle and the terms of his resurrection (included under the read more.)

      Basically:  I have a cool idea about how Bill is going to come back.  Or should I say, came back?  

      ((I would love to hear what y’all think.  Also, a big thanks to everyone I rambled to about this spoiler [most of whom I ended up tagging below ayy] as well as @fordtato for walking me through general spoiler theory post etiquette!))

      Keep reading

      anonymous asked:

      I think you might have answered a question like this before, but if the gang was in a modern day environment, what type do you think they'd want to go to college for (if they did)? And why?

      Huh, I don’t think I actually have officially talked about this! Let’s go!

      Hiccup: Computer Science.

      Hiccup is an extraordinary inventor canonically. He creates technology that is well beyond his time. For this reason, I truly believe that a modern AU Hiccup would delve deep into the technology of this time, too. There are of course many different types of technologies in our contemporary society, but I feel as though computers are where Hiccup is going to be. 

      First off, we know that Hiccup is someone who is talented with the physical sciences. His inventions require a lot of knowledge of physics. While Hiccup does have interest in biological sciences as well (his love of dragons!), I feel as though one of the fields in the physical sciences is where he can apply his love for invention the most. The things Hiccup creates - shields, saddles, weapons - fall more into a physical sciences category.

      Computer technology is also where many incredible advancements are being made currently. Hiccup would be able to start playing around with computers at a young age (another reason why he’d be interested in this field specifically). Just as Hiccup started working at Gobber’s shop at a young age and that influenced how he invented things canonically, so Hiccup would at a young age begin to tamper around with computer technology. He would be able to learn how to program things in the middle school and high school. He could craft his own monumental ideas right from home with the resources he has.

      It’s incredibly easy for me to see Hiccup as a techie. He could be that nerd who gets hired by his university’s IT department to help debug other student laptops or show teachers how to turn on their darned projector. He could work for some company like Google or HP or Apple or Android or who-knows-what. But since computer technology is changing so rapidly in this day and age with the latest creative inventiveness, it seems like this is exactly the place where Hiccup would go. So Computer Science major it is!

      Fishlegs: Zoology –> Veterinarian Medicine.

      Other life sciences like Botany, Ecology, or Biology would also work very well for Fishlegs. We know he likes plants and learning all sorts of things about how living things work. But being as we see Fishlegs’ greatest excitement focusing around dragons, I imagine that Zoology could be a good match for him in his undergraduate years. In this sort of degree, Fishlegs could specifically study non-human living creatures and all their wonderful adaptations.

      I could see Fishlegs going along a Pre-Vet track. Various degrees could get him to his eventual goal of vet school. I know people who have entered vet school with degrees like Microbiology, for instance. But I feel like Fishlegs would get straight to the point - there are certain species of animals he loves, and he wants to learn about them now. It is to note that entering vet school is extremely competitive… but being as Fishlegs is a bit of a scholar, I imagine he’d still try and go for it. He has enough passion for animals and a lot of academic things going for him that he could successfully enter veterinarian medicine for his graduate studies.

      I imagine Fishlegs would be best suited as a small animal vet as versus large animal or exotic. I’ve got several reasons for this… First, Meatlug acts rather dog-like. This could translate to Fishlegs adoring dogs in a modern AU. Second, large animal veterinarians have a different approach to treatment than small animal vets. Large animal has to take care of entire herds of livestock… small animal is about taking care of pets. Though it’s harder to get into small animal, Fishlegs is happiest when he’s around his companion Meatlug, so pets is where he’d be. I could maaaaybe see a variation where he goes into exotics and tries to work in a zoo setting, given as he does have interest in dragons in their natural habitats, but by and large I think small animal fits his personality and interests best.

      So Fishlegs has a long academic road ahead of him! Let’s wish him luck. ^.^

      One more thing: Fishlegs in his undergraduate years has the potential to double major or get a minor. Fishlegs is also someone who would have a strong appreciation for the arts and humanities. We know he tries to write poems for Meatlug. An English or Creative Writing minor? It’s a possibility. Even something like History wouldn’t be out of scope (though I imagine he probably just takes one or two electives on that topic for that one).

      Heather: Chemistry.

      This admittedly is mostly going after Heather’s characterization as she appears in School of Dragons. I know that it’s a bit divergent from her choices, experiences, and characteristics in DOB/RTTE, but putting her as a chemist still doesn’t seem that odd to me.

      Heather doesn’t strike me as a life sciences, humanities, business, or arts individual. She doesn’t seem to have inclinations towards those sorts of interests. Physical sciences seem more up her alley to me.

      I also suspect that “will I get a job” will factor into Heather’s choice of major. Heather’s had a tough canonical life and she wants to fight for something better. Though she gets emotionally wearied, we do see that she’s willing to even do things like steal from others to “donate” to the people who lost their homes. This suggests she could be willing to drive herself hard, and she is someone who doesn’t want her life to be terrible forever. Her solution would be to pick a degree that she thinks is “practical,” has some reputation, but also isn’t what she would consider “intimidating.” (Note: majors are not actually harder based upon society’s strange perceived notions of value and whether or not it’s science. Don’t get me STARTED on the rigor of my Music Composition degree!)

      For an alternate, I could see Heather pursuing Journalism. Heather has first-hard experienced some terrible things about society. Maybe, with the right circumstances in a modern AU, she would want a job in journalism to expose the injustices she has seen and lived.

      Eret: Accounting.

      I don’t know exactly which business degree Eret would attain (Accounting sounds best to me right now), but I do feel as though business makes sense for him. Eret in HTTYD 2 works as a dragon trapper. He’s got a sense of negotiation and doing what needs to be done to get business continuing smoothly between himself and Drago. Eret is about doing the work at hand and translating that into the best possible resources and security for himself.

      Business can of course be very cerebral, but one of the things that is attractive about it is practicality. It’s a degree with a set goal of going into business and doing work to directly translate practice into financial success. Eret would like to get straight to the point. Something like History would likely feel irrelevant to him - what would he do with it? But he’d know what he could do in the school of business and how to make that work out nicely for him.

      Astrid: Anatomy and Physiology -or- Engineering.

      I’m going to give two answers based upon two different lines of reason.

      The one that people might be most comfortable with, and feel resonates most with her current character, is that Astrid gets a degree in Anatomy and Physiology or some other related Health degree. With this degree, Astrid can be a physical trainer, physical therapist, or some other related profession by which she helps people become stronger physically. As a trained athlete but someone also with the ability for empathy and compassion, this sort of field could work well with her. She can’t exactly fight people as a warrior in our modern society, but she can help other people fight to become in better shape. That’d work great for her.

      So that one might be the most intuitive and comfortable response to give Astrid for a major. I’ll give one alternate suggestion along a different line of reasoning. I feel a little weirder saying “Engineering” for her, but I’ll explain why that’s the other possibility I’m suggesting. If you don’t like it, just chill with Anatomy and Physiology.

      Now, Astrid is someone who fits in well within society’s current parameters. She can adjust to become successful based upon what society values. Both intelligent and smart, I feel like Astrid is someone who could succeed at whatever she wants to do. This means that I suspect that Astrid, in a modern world, would select a degree that she feels contributes greatly to the community and is widely respected by society.

      I also suspect that family history could play into a role for what Astrid chooses degree-wise. Fearless Finn Hofferson probably was a big deal before the Flightmare. The Hoffersons could have been esteemed warriors for all we know - and in fact, maybe there are some hints that they are? Astrid takes pride in wielding her mother’s axe during Dragon Training, and she already seems to have been trained by the time she enters the ring. How could Astrid have already known how to handle an axe? It would probably be family teaching her and honing her abilities, training her well from a very young age. Astrid is aware her parents’ war is about to become hers, she takes a lot of time and effort training… one reason Astrid is so dedicated in Dragon Training could be because that’s how she was brought up.

      Astrid’s family in a modern world would want to instill hardworking values on their daughter at a young age, just as they might have done with her axe training in canon. From the engineering families I know (and I guess I know a lot of them), they tend to take a lot of concern about their kids’ education. They want to train their kids to be successful in school, even if the kid doesn’t end up following the same occupational course they do. But since canon Astrid cares that “our parents’ war is about to become ours,” it could be the case that Astrid’s engineering occupation instills her with the interest to carry on that work, as well.

      If you’re anything like me, you probably think this degree assignment feels weird. Maybe even very weird. I admit that even as I am giving reason for why Astrid would get a degree like this, I feel awkward saying so. It’s potentially because it’s so different from the Astrid we know on Berk. She’s a warrior on Berk. How could a warrior end up with a degree like this? For me, even though it feels odd, I’m still giving this answer because context, context, context is important. In a modern AU context, being a warrior isn’t what pays. Sure, Astrid probably really enjoys athletics, but I don’t think she would be comfortable with the idea of trying to become a professional athlete (while some people definitely laud young athletes, lots of other people would poo-poo the idea for this as a career, and Astrid wouldn’t like that). In a modern AU, where Astrid can do her best fighting and succeeding is in very different occupations. I’m not saying she’d like the degree, but her motivation for choosing it I think is solid enough, even if we feel a little odd associating her with “engineer.”

      As far as what type of engineering? Take your pick. There are so many types of engineering out there, but I can see her going different routes, so if you want aerospace or civil or mechanical or whatever, sure! I think it’d fulfill Astrid’s desires of college whichever one you pick.

      Snotlout: Open Option –> College Dropout.

      Frankly, I imagine that the reason Snotlout would enter college at all is because of familial pressure. Snotlout does care what Daddy thinks, and while Spitelout isn’t some raging academic, he’s someone who cares about success and status. In our modern society, success has been oddly coupled with “your kids go to college.” Snotlout would have a better chance of getting a high-paying job, yada yada yada, aka, Snotlout should go to college. So because of the pressure, that’s what Snottykins does. He applies, gets accepted, starts college.

      I don’t think that Snotlout would finish his degree. Snotlout might drop out of college before he even chooses what his degree will be. I could see Snotlout entering college as an open option, thinking that he’ll figure out his degree as he goes along and becomes “inspired.” He takes a disparate selection of classes, lots of random topics that fulfill general graduation requirements, everything from History of Hip Hop to Philosophy of Science Fiction. He avoids the hard classes (no Calculus II for this guy). While the hip hop class is sort of fun, nothing grabs him. He parties a bit too much, screws up his sleep schedule, slacks off, procrastinates, watches his grades drop. Eventually, Snotlout can’t care enough about college. He drops out within a few semesters.

      Tuffnut: English Literature.

      Tuffnut could be an individual who chooses not to college. I could certainly see him as someone who doesn’t enter the university. But, if he does, I think it would be in English Literature. Theatre is another option. Maybe a minor in Philosophy if he actually extended the effort, though I doubt he would.

      Tuffnut is an individual with a notable amount of vocabulary. He’s actually very good with words - the more you study him throughout the franchise, the more you realize this is an area in which he is very strong, intelligent, and talented. A language-centric field is where he would find his (relative) interest and strengths. 

      English Literature sounds like the best bet for Tuff. I don’t think Tuffnut would be as interested in doing something like Creative Writing where he has to do a lot of original writing himself, but reading up on others’ works and making opinionated comments about it could be his thing. I don’t find it that hard for Tuffnut to enjoy and start gallantly shouting Shakespeare. I think that English Literature makes sense over other types of literature… he’d stick with a field that’s in his own language and relatively close to home.

      Whether or not Tuffnut finishes his degree is up in the air. I think he could finish it. He’ll never take his major extremely seriously, he’ll probably take minimal required classes, he’ll procrastinate and slack off, but he’ll get decent enough grades to pass. Tuff’s GPA won’t be spectacular, but it’d be enough to get him through the graduation ceremony. If Tuffnut decides that college is worth his time and actually enrolls, then I do think it’s possible for him to graduate.

      Ruffnut: Finance.

      Ruffnut would also be someone to go into a business school. I could imagine her wanting to get an Associates degree and then get out of college, but between the two twins, I imagine her more easily in a post-secondary setting. Ruffnut can be very glib and free, but she also is a little more practical minded than her brother. I could see her picking a degree that she thinks will get her a solid chance of a job, picking a degree that maybe she would think is “not objectionable” (as versus something like, say, Theoretical Mathematics… I don’t think she’d enjoy that one).

      Let’s be frank. Putting her in the business school also gives us the chance in the modern AU for her to meet Eret and go gaga eyes over him. Can’t miss that storytelling chance, can we?

      nothingtoseeherejustmovealong  asked:

      Headcanon Question: What was Peter like before the fire?

      Oh this is a tricky one. I think the biggest stumbling point when it comes to defining a pre-fire Peter is that is that canon gives us a few glimpses of them, but… they’re obviously (at least not entirely) true. (See the huge age issue, with Peter appearing at least a decade younger in flashbacks than he should have been.) So when I’m thinking about younger Peter, I tend to either ignore canon entirely, or assume that what we’re shown about him is just colored by Peter’s own flame-warped lenses and do my own thing.

      And I have a lot of thoughts about this (not all of which line up).

      One thing I see a lot in flashbacks is pre-fire Peter being very similar to current Peter, and I honestly think that’s a mistake. So much of who Peter is now is defined by the fire, the years of trauma-forced coma. While the fire didn’t make him a completely different person, it most definitely changed, altered, warped his previous traits and motivations. We don’t think pre and post-fire-and-betrayal Derek would think or act the same, so why would post-fire-and-coma Peter?

      So what do we see in Peter these days? 

      Well, alright. We have the need for power, so as to never feel helpless again, like he did in the house or the coma. For revenge against the people who wounded him and his own –– and a desire to preemptively strike against anyone who might wound him in the future. A calculating coldness toward even those close to him (and why would he open himself up to caring about people again, if he could help it? After losing nearly everyone he cared about once?) And the need for control. To know everything, to be in charge of everything, to either overtly or insidiously direct each situation. And why wouldn’t someone who’d been trapped in a coma, trapped in a burning house, and whose ignorance about his nephew’s relationship led to all of that in the first place want all of those things?

      Now, it’s also important to point out that Derek and Peter both dealt with the fallout of the fire and turned out as very different people, so some of those traits must have been inside Peter already. And that’s absolutely true. Some of the behaviors are trauma-born, and Derek and Peter do show some similarities early on: both exhibited a need for control and power in the early seasons (not wanting to be a victim again) as well as being closed lipped with their information, and being willing to kill first and ask questions later. But while Derek was still motivated largely by the need to protect others (mostly the hopeless teens that kept sticking their noses in danger, but also the townspeople from the Alpha and kanima), Peter’s actions were performed out of a desire for self-preservation and vengeance. Derek could have easily gone the way Peter did, and I think it says a lot about Derek’s character that he never did.

      But I also believe that, without the trauma of the fire, Peter wouldn’t have ever “gone evil.” I don’t think he would have tried to usurp Talia for the Alpha power. I don’t think he would have killed anyone. I think he probably was very much what Derek viewed him as: a favorite uncle, an advisor. The pampered youngest son, maybe, free to live off his big sister’s legacy and indulge in his own interests and whims (which is probably why a teenage boy –– also the younger brother to an intended Alpha –– would find him fun and relatable). He was undoubtedly always clever, always observant and quick on the uptake, but I think he probably used that to Talia’s advantage more than anything. And I doubt there was any bad blood or serious jealousy between Peter and Talia, because Peter lived with them and as a werewolf (much less an Alpha) Talia would have absolutely picked up on that, and probably made him live elsewhere if she suspected any chance of danger. No, I think Peter probably adored his sister, and probably enjoyed not having to deal with the politics and tiresome niceties of controlling a territory –– letting him indulge in obscure research, travel, apparently making millions, and whatever other interests came his way.

      I also like the idea of Peter having a significant other, maybe even children, if only because we know that there were at least five unaccounted people killed in the fire (depending on which count you believe, but Talia, Derek’s dad, Cora presumed dead, and five others make eight). And I wonder if Peter’s SO was human, since he does mention, in season two, that despite being blackened and dead on the inside, he still understands the power of human love. (Not just love. Human love. Interesting distinction.)

      I keep losing thread of my points on this one, but ok. The last major thought I have is that pre-fire Peter was a lot like Stiles. That Peter offered Stiles the bite in season one because he recognized something of the way he used to be in him. That’s why he wanted Stiles to want to be like him: because it would vindicate, in some warped, screwed up way, the choices he was making at that point. They’re both also people that Derek instinctively connects to (and what’s that slightly awkward thing about people tending to fall for people who are similar to their favored parent? :P Well, if the flashbacks can be at all believed, Peter’s the “parental figure” Derek always looked to for support when he was younger). There are definite similarities between the two in canon: cleverness, that snarky wit, and even that sort of ruthlessness that comes out when necessary. It’s just that Stiles still has a sense of morality that’s been burned out of Peter, and Stiles still has people he loves and cares about with his whole heart to keep him from going down the path Peter’s on.

      So, ok. I think that covers or at least touches on most of my thoughts about pre-fire Peter. What do you all think?

      Let’s talk about White Aligned Races

      Art by Matt Stewart

      Mark Rosewater recently said that the dwarven experiment in Kaladesh was not a big success. This comes from a long line of Wizards trying and failing to find a White characteristic race. Now, it’s certainly possible that Wizards of the Coast just happens to be repeatedly finding races that people don’t particularly resonate with, but I honestly think they’re missing an important part of what makes the other characteristic races characteristic races. If you’ll bear with me, I’d like to explain why goblins, merfolk, elves, and zombies are great, and why kor, kithkin, leonin, dwarves, and aven fail to get sufficient love.

      Keep reading

      My little input...

      So, lets start off with me. I am a Jonsa shipper, but before season 6 happened I was not. I actually would have laughed at you, and say no way! I was dedicated to Tyrion and Sansa. Which still sits in my heart, but not as heavily as Sansa and Jon do. 

      Now, if my post angers you, well, you can just skip right along. Cause…I don’t care. 

      Jon/Dany: Oh boy, this rumor has been circulating since those leaks came out. And since then, I’ve been looking for proof that these two would be an actual couple. True, there are parallels in the book, but one could say that’s because they are the two last Targaryens living at this point. It does not specify that they will be romantic in any way. Getting off track here. People want them together because they are the hero, the heroine, and there both badass. Well, Jon is, to me Dany is only legit because of her dragons. Without them, she’s basically obsolete. 

      Moving on: So…their moral codes. A big thing to me. Jon is not as…power hungry as Dany is. He never has been. All his positions of power have come from being voted in. Dany has ripped apart cities, burning men and people left and right to be the ruler. She’s crucified some innocent people, telling those around her that that is ‘justice.’ Two wrongs don’t make a right. That’s what her lesson was. Point B: She’s the breaker of chains. Well, there are no slaves in Westeros, so, she’s going to seek vengeance, as is Tyrion. Against his family. Jon however, just wants to get through the long night alive, and return to Winterfell, and be with his kin. 

      So…why do you want them together? I think most people want them together so they can restart their line. Well, I personally don’t think that will happen. The Targaryens were dethroned because of Aerys, because of his madness, because of his incest background. That is why he was dethroned. If you weren’t with him, you were against him. (Sounds…familiar doesn’t it?) And this resulted in burning people alive with wildfire. (Which Dany has done.) Okay, so I’m NOT saying she’s the mad Queen, cause it’s obvious Cersei is filling this role at the moment. But, Dany is not a good guy. She is drenched in the shade grey. She’s tortured young girls in front of their father, for information (books) She’s burnt Khals alive. 

      Continuing: She’s burnt cities down, and the thing is, it would be different if she burnt the people and the cities and left them with a new justice system. She doesn’t even do that. Look at Mereen, she left Daario in charge, with no justice system, only a threat looming over the people that if they step out of line, and try to reinforce slavery again, they’ll be burned alive. Dany rules through fear. Maybe not all the time, but she really uses that as a trump card. 

      So…Dany in season 7. Several articles have come out with Emilia talking about her character. Very interesting articles that have specified…

      “She’ll be shedding the rest of her humanity this season.” Uh, I don’t know about you, but that does not sound like a good thing. It means, she is getting to the point where there is nothing she won’t do for that throne. Even if it means ripping Westeros into tiny, tiny pieces, considering the two wars they just went through.

      G.R.R.M’s take over characters like Dany. It’s been stated time and time again, that George hates war. And Dany…well, she doesn’t really hang on the latter of that statement. She wants fire and blood for what happened to her family, she’s bringing the war to Westeros to fight for her throne. 

      “The villain is the hero of the other side.”

      Saying all this, why do people still want her to be with Jon, or anyone for that matter? Well, it’s simple, Game of Thrones has painted Dany in a very good…yet deceiving light. Which I think will come to play a the very end. For right now, we need Jon to leave Winterfell and meet up with her. Doing…whatever it is that they’re doing.  For some reason they’re putting him beyond the wall, white hunting. Which sounds absolutely ridiculous, and not very Kingly of Jon. Whatever…moving on. 

      I personally see through the wall that they’ve built around Dany, I haven’t cared for her character since season 3. And I’m sorry, but I don’t want Jon to be with her because it doesn’t make sense for them…in moral sense…in personality sense…in familial sense. I really would like them to bond on a family level, since Dany doesn’t think that she has family left at all.

      What’s wrong with that? Why can’t it be as easy as that?

      Moving on to my next point: Remember in season 6, when Lord Glover told Sansa, “And where was King Robb, when the Ironborn threw my wife and children in prison? Taking up with a foreign whore, getting himself and the rest that followed him killed.”

      Sansa also says something interesting in season 6. “My father always said that Northerners were different, more loyal, more suspicious of outsiders.”

      So…you’re telling me, after all Robb did, that Jon is going to fall at the feet of a Targaryen with dragons? The same Targaryens that burned Ned’s father, and brother alive. The North wants nothing to do with the south. That’s why I think they’re doing this white hunt, so Jon can show Dany the threat without having to marry, or bend the knee to her. He has more then himself to think about now. He’s the king, not a green boy who’s never seen a pretty lady before. 

      Robb thought with his cock and it got him killed. Ned thought with his honor, it got him killed, Rickon thought he could dodge those arrows, and he got himself killed. Cat got killed because of the repercussions of what Robb did. He turned his nose up at the Freys, broke the pact that they had between them, and basically said fuck you, resulting in the slaughter of his bannermen, and some of his family members. Where would this lesson lead, if Jon just stuck his dick in Dany after two episodes of knowing her?

      I’ll tell you where. His dethronement, and probably him being exiled. 

      The North does not want to kneel again. 

      Anyway, add your opinions. I’m sure I’ll get a lot of negative feedback, but it had to be said. I’m sorry if you don’t see it the way I do. 

      Lets talk about modern strong female characters in manga.

      Now, if you know anything about me i’m a HUGE shoujo fan and one thing I love to death is an A+ quality strong female character. But here’s the thing, I honestly think that a heroine doesn’t have to be physically strong to be an awesome female character. Its nice to have girls that kick butt but what about my girls that are (pardon the Steven Universe reference) strong in the real way, and what even is the real way? I’m here to talk about 2 series that demonstrate strong female characters who don’t rely on physical strength to be awesome in every way possible and if you read shoujo manga, you know the two i’m talking about. Akatsuki no Yona’s Yona and Skip Beat’s Kyoko. Well start with Yona (since at the moment it seems to be the more popular series)

      (From here on out there will be spoilers)

      Keep reading

      Steve/Tony Fic Recs - Personal Favorites

      (because the relationship between captain america and iron man stretches across the multiverse, because the fandom has some of the absolute most talented writers out there, and because i’m so proud to be part of the superhusbands community, here are a list of my personal favorite stony fics. ^u^)

      **updated 5.16.2016

      The Act of Creation Will Be Your Salvation by scifigrl47 [M, 85k]

      When Tony Stark was seventeen years old, he built his first AI. On that day, he ceased to be his father’s creation, and became a creating force in his own right.

      That one act likely saved his life, and not always in the most obvious ways.

      All the Time in the World (Will Never Be Enough) by Crematosis [M, 26k]

      The first time Steve is sent into the timestream to save Tony, the mission is a complete disaster. Tony isn’t an easy person to protect. But Steve is up for the challenge.

      Because sometimes, even time-traveling, badass supersoldiers need saving.

      Keep reading

      anonymous asked:

      Could you possibly elaborate on the whole "Farkle discovering the patriarchy" situation? Thank you ever so much.

      omfg okay do I need to put a warning for ~biological feminine situations~ or can people be mature? They can? Rad.

      I’m setting this in 10th grade but before Farkle and Riley start dating.

      • Okay so it’s a normal Saturday night, Farkle’s home alone and is just chilling on his laptop. It’s like…Maybe 8:30
      • He was alone on a Saturday because The Flannels were on some away game or something and Riley and Maya had the Matthews’ apartment to themselves allll weekend and made a big deal about having a Girls Weekend
      • So suddenly he gets a text from Riley right
      • “How much do you love us??”
      • So he just sighs and responds “What are you gonna make me do now?” because the girls only use that line when they want something lol
      • “MASSIVE EMERGENCY. CODE RED. My whole family is gone.”
      • “Yeah, I know, that’s why you’re having a girls night???”
      • “Literally what are you talking about?”
      • “Code Red??? Periods, dumbass. We have been caught off guard and are now trapped and dying. Can you run to the drugstore for us?”
      • “NO???”
      • “Maya says to tell you that if you don’t save us she’ll come to your house and free bleed on everything you love.”
      • “If she can get to my house she can get to a CVS???”
      • “FARKLE.”
      • “RILEY.”
      • “You were so much more chivalrous in middle school.”
      • “12 year old me would’ve fainted in the tampon isle and you know it.”
      • “Farkle I cannot just bleed all over my house all weekend. Be the hero I know you are.”
      • “Ugh”
      • “We’ll let you sleepover and stay for girls weekend??? We have the ability to order you a pizza with banana peppers and extra garlic right now.”
      • “If you’re trying to bribe me right now then I better be receiving a DAMN GOOD mani-pedi in the morning.”
      • “Of course! So you’ll do it???”
      • “I’m literally already halfway to the drugstore calm down woman I left the second you said Code Red😂😂😂😂“
      • “Wait what??? Then why were you pretending you weren’t gonna help???”
      • “Because now I’m getting pizza and a mani-pedi??😂“
      • “…I hate you but Maya seems to be more grudgingly impressed.”
      • “I tend to have that effect on a lot of people.”
      • “Asshole.”
      • “She says to the boy who’s supposedly saving her life. Okay, are there like specifics I need to look for here or…?”
      • So she gives him the specifics bc Maya likes tampons but Riley feels safer in pads because everyone is different~
      • Okay so Farkle gets to the store and he’s looking for the isle right
      • And he finds it and
      • “wtf Riley why are these boxes like 10 bucks each???”
      • “Oh don’t worry Farkle we’ll pay you back when you get here!!”
      • “No??? You will not??? Omfg do you actually have to spend $10 dollars every month on pressed cotton or whatever it is???”
      • “Actually I usually go through two packs each month so $20. But I can just get the other pack later it’s fine.”
      • “…Farkle darling calm down.”
      • “I am calm but???? This is so dumb????”
      • “Listen I fully agree with that sentiment but if you could hurry up a little that’d be great??”
      • Except now our young Minkus is looking around the rest of the ~Lady Aisle~
      • And he’s seeing all the razors and shampoo and conditioner and shave gel and deodorant and everything else and he’s like…wtf
      • “Riley was is EVERYTHING so overpriced in this aisle????”
      • “Because it’s the women’s aisle???? Our lives are overpriced????”
      • “But???? WHY????”
      • “Bruh did you really not know about this???”
      • “Is this a common thing holy shit??”
      • “Why?”
      • “Possibly???? I don’t know????”
      • “Why am I only noticing this weird pricing now tho???”
      • “You’re a white boy who’s part of the 1% sweetie the patriarchy exists for you.”
      • “oh????”
      • “But no babe it’s always been like this???”
      • “Like?? Everything is cheaper in the men’s aisle how does that make sense to anyone??”
      • “IT DOESN’T”
      • “THEN WHY????”
      • “SEXISM.”
      • “WHAT THE FUCK”
      • “Those tampons you’re buying are taxed too”
      • “HOW????”
      • “They’re viewed as a luxury product or something idk man.”
      • “WE ARE AWARE”
      • “WHY THEN”
      • And then Riley is just telling him all this shitty stuff and Farkle is just standing in this aisle in a drug store getting his ass educated and he’s getting more and more frustrated and pissed off omfg
      • Like people walking down the aisle are lowkey getting afraid they just see this 15 year old boy texting furiously fast with a huge scowl on his face and sometimes his eyebrows will shoot up in surprise only to quickly knit themselves back together in anger
      • Riley’s listing everything she and Maya can think of he’s standing there for like 10 minutes omfg
      • “How much underwear can you get with $50???”
      • “Like???? A lot???? Packs of 5 only cost like 3 bucks????”
      • “I went to Arie the other day with a $50 gift card and I was able to purchase exactly 1 bra and 2 pairs of underwear.”
      • “W H A T.”
      • “EXACTLY.”
      • Maya and Riley are just. screaming back at home bc finally someone is getting this
      • But eventually it gets to a point where they gotta be “Kay Farkle we sent you out 20 minutes ago we REALLY need the stuff now”
      • “Honey I know and when you get here we can scream about it in person and then Maya and I can give you all different examples of patriarchal capitalism and the 3 of us can spend the night in blissful righteous fury like we were always meant to I promise but please calm down enough to buy the goods??”  
      • “What else can there be besides what you’ve spent the last 10 minutes ranting to me about holy shit???”
      • “Like…They make girls pants with fake pockets so they can sell us handbags.”
      • “…FUCK.”
      • “Maya and I can think of more examples while you’re on your way here okay pumpkin? Will that make you feel better?”
      • “What would make me feel better is knowing my two best friends don’t have to overpay because of their gender???”
      • “Well, hate to break it to you honey, but that’s been going on for a while. For literally all women. I’m sure the pay gap doesn’t help the situation either.”
      • “PAY GAP???”
      • “Oh HONEY.”
      • And now Riley’s just sending a barrage of texts like “Farkly take a deep breathe”, “Sweetheart just hurry up okay” stuff like that but he’s not even opening them this is the first time he has like 6 ignored texts from Riley Matthews but now he’s busy
      • He gets what he came here for- and grabs two extra boxes so he could save them a later trip like Riley mentioned- and now he’s rushing around the store right
      • He gets like 3 cartons of ice cream omfg cookie dough and mint chocolate chip and vanilla. He grabs a box of tissues and a DVD of ‘The Proposal’ on sale
      • He gets a big bag of m&m’s, a huge Hershey’s Special Dark bar, and a couple packs of those over priced Pepperidge Farm dark chocolate chip cookies omfg
      • He also gets some motrin and a 2 liter bottle of that super sugary blue raspberry soda that looks like it’s 98% percent chemicals and is the girls’ guilty pleasure
      • Slams it all down at the register and it’s a girl ringing him up, she looks like she’s maybe 20, she just sees all this and sees the anger in Farkle’s eye’s and smiles sadly and nods at him omfg
      • He nods back as he takes his bags and she fucking salutes him as he walks out of the store
      • Okay so the girls are in the apartment desperately texting Farkle because the food they ordered just got here and they can’t keep it up with the toilet paper stuffing much longer they have to change that shit every few minutes
      • Suddenly Riley gets a text from Farkle and she’s hoping it’s gonna say ‘buzz me up’ but instead:
      • So they’re screaming in panic because their pet dork was in trouble and they can’t help???
      • “F U C K”
      • “I KNOW”
      • He’s rushing to the apartment and sure he’s shaken up but he’s laughing. Riley’s staring at his messages with her mouth hanging open in shock and Maya’s on the floor laughing omfg
      • Riley turns to Maya and starts to say “He’s gotta be joking about this, right?” when immediately Farkle kicks the door open
      • His jacket is ripped and his hairs messed up. His nose is bleeding looks broken and there are a few small cuts the look like they definitely could’ve come from a knife omfg
      • But he puffs out his fucking chest and tosses all the bags onto the couch and just yells “I. P R O V I D E.”
      • The girls are shrieking with hysterics omfg
      • Once they get situated so they’re no longer free bleeding they try to clean Farkle up a little bit and Maya makes a crack like “This is what happens when you become aware of the patriarchy” omg
      • They’re also extremely grateful for everything he went out of his way to buy and are trying to pay him back and he’s not hearing it omfg
      • “Farkle this bill goes over 100 dollars we’re paying you back” “If you try I’d just use the money to buy you more shit okay leave it alone.”
      • They finally give up lol
      • They can’t get his nose to stop bleeding tho and suddenly Riley gasps in realization and throws a fucking tampon at him
      • He groans but finds it actually works quite well
      • Maya took a picture of him and he flipped off the camera lol
      • Okay so Riley’s like ‘scream about patriarchal capitalism now or later?’  and they look at the giant mountain of food they have- the girls ordered two pizzas, cheesy bread, and garlic knots, plus everything Farkle had brought lol.
      • Farkle just sighs and says “Pass me the Goddamn cheesy bread and get Ryan Reynolds beautiful face on the television pronto, it’s been a long fucking night.”
      • “Sweetheart it’s been, like, 40 minutes…”
      • “Long. Fucking. Night.”
      • So they settle in for a night trying to relax while watching romcoms and eating way more than they should lol
      • Maya gets all the screenshots of Riley’s convo with Farkle and jokingly posts them, and the picture of him she took, online and titles it ‘Farkle Minkus Discovers The Patriarchy And Immediately Gets Mugged’ lmao
      • She puts her phone away for the rest of the night and doesn’t think about it again as she and her two best friends cuddle with each other and try to eat themselves to death
      • So the next morning Riley and Maya are doing all their Girls Day activities they already planned- spa, movies, mani-pedis, they were trying to be super cliché you know- except now they have Farkle with them lol
      • They don’t mind having him there at all and as worked up as he got last night, some relaxation could potentially save his life rn
      • So like halfway throughout the day, they’ve stopped at a Starbucks before heading to the movies, Maya realizes she hasn’t checked her phone all day
      • So she pulls it out and
      • She has so many notifications??? wth
      • She checks what going on and realizes with a gasp. Holy shit. The post with all the screenshots went viral.
      • She didn’t even tell Riley and Farkle she posted them in the first place omfg she’s trying to explain this to them
      • It’s literally already become a meme. People are using the picture of beaten up, middle finger throwing, scowling Farkle with a tampon sticking out of his nose as a reaction meme h o l y s h i t
      • Some people are just quoting some of the things he said for meme joke purposes
      • The three of them are just quietly screaming in Starbucks omfg
      • It progressively gets bigger omfg
      • Like some news outlets are talking that it shed a great light on sexism and shit
      • And how teenage boys/some men in general can be oblivious to things like this until it literally slaps them in the face
      • Also everyone just found his reaction very amusing and a little sweet lol
      • So yeah like it eventually dies down but it was definitely a thing for a while omfg
      • All his selfies on Instagram were suddenly full of comments “HE PROVIIIIDES” lol
      • When Farkle grows up and gets into politics he bans the tax on feminine products lmao
      • So yeah that’s the time Farkle got his ass educated, got mugged, and then the OT3 accidently started a meme
      • My beautiful children