does anyone else find this even half as hilarious as i do

4

1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / 9 / 10


Lena Luthor wasn’t usually a nervous person.  She could command an audience, she could dominate the boardroom, but right now?  She was panicking.

Honestly, Lena never really thought her friendship with Kara would reach a stage where she was slowly being introduced into the group, one by one.  Maggie had been first.  She and Lena had long since discussed the whole Maggie-arresting-Lena debacle, Maggie spending the better part of ten minutes apologising before Lena could get a word in edgewise.  She and Maggie had hit it off fairly quickly, bonding over their mutual love of Italian cuisine and various scientific magazines.

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anonymous asked:

What are other books/series that you'd recommend that are in the same vein as Animorphs?

Honestly, your ask inspired me to get off my butt and finally compile a list of the books that I reference with my character names in Eleutherophobia, because in a lot of ways that’s my list of recommendations right there: I deliberately chose children’s and/or sci-fi stories that deal really well with death, war, dark humor, class divides, and/or social trauma for most of my character names.  I also tend to use allusions that either comment on Animorphs or on the source work in the way that the names come up.

That said, here are The Ten Greatest Animorphs-Adjacent Works of Literature According to Sol’s Totally Arbitrary Standards: 

1. A Ring of Endless Light, Madeline L’Engle

  • This is a really good teen story that, in painfully accurate detail, captures exactly what it’s like to be too young to really understand death while forced to confront it anyway.  I read it at about the same age as the protagonist, not that long after having suffered the first major loss in my own life (a friend, also 14, killed by cancer).  It accomplished exactly what a really good novel should by putting words to the experiences that I couldn’t describe properly either then or now.  This isn’t a light read—its main plot is about terminal illness, and the story is bookended by two different unexpected deaths—but it is a powerful one. 

2. The One and Only Ivan, K.A. Applegate 

  • This prose novel (think an epic poem, sort of like The Iliad, only better) obviously has everything in it that makes K.A. Applegate one of the greatest children’s authors alive: heartbreaking tragedy, disturbing commentary on the human condition, unforgettably individuated narration, pop culture references, and poop jokes.  Although I’m mostly joking when I refer to Marco in my tags as “the one and only” (since this book is narrated by a gorilla), Ivan does remind me of Marco with his sometimes-toxic determination to see the best of every possible situation when grief and anger allow him no other outlet for his feelings and the terrifying lengths to which he will go in order to protect his found family.

3. My Teacher Flunked the Planet, Bruce Coville

  • Although the entire My Teacher is an Alien series is really well-written and powerful, this book is definitely my favorite because in many ways it’s sort of an anti-Animorphs.  Whereas Animorphs (at least in my opinion) is a story about the battle for personal freedom and privacy, with huge emphasis on one’s inner identity remaining the same even as one’s physical shape changes, My Teacher Flunked the Planet is about how maybe the answer to all our problems doesn’t come from violent struggle for personal freedoms, but from peaceful acceptance of common ground among all humans.  There’s a lot of intuitive appeal in reading about the protagonists of a war epic all shouting “Free or dead!” before going off to battle (#13) but this series actually deconstructs that message as blind and excessive, especially when options like “all you need is love” or “no man is an island” are still on the table.

4. Moon Called, Patricia Briggs

  • I think this book is the only piece of adult fiction on this whole list, and that’s no accident: the Mercy Thompson series is all about the process of adulthood and how that happens to interact with the presence of the supernatural in one’s life.  The last time I tried to make a list of my favorite fictional characters of all time, it ended up being about 75% Mercy Thompson series, 24% Animorphs, and the other 1% was Eugenides Attolis (who I’ll get back to in my rec for The Theif).  These books are about a VW mechanic, her security-administrator next door neighbor, her surgeon roommate, her retail-working best friend and his defense-lawyer boyfriend, and their cybersecurity frenemy.  The fact that half those characters are supernatural creatures only serves to inconvenience Mercy as she contemplates how she’s going to pay next month’s rent when a demon destroyed her trailer, whether to get married for the first time at age 38 when doing so would make her co-alpha of a werewolf pack, what to do about the vampires that keep asking for her mechanic services without paying, and how to be a good neighbor to the area ghosts that only she can see.  

5. The Thief, Megan Whalen Turner

  • This book (and its sequel A Conspiracy of Kings) are the ones that I return to every time I struggle with first-person writing and no Animorphs are at hand.  Turner does maybe the best of any author I’ve seen of having character-driven plots and plot-driven characters.  This book is the story of five individuals (with five slightly different agendas) traveling through an alternate version of ancient Greece and Turkey with a deceptively simple goal: they all want to work together to steal a magical stone from the gods.  However, the narrator especially is more complicated than he seems, which everyone else fails to realize at their own detriment. 

6. Homecoming, Cynthia Voight

  • Critics have compared this book to a modern, realistic reimagining of The Boxcar Children, which always made a lot of sense to me.  It’s the story of four children who must find their own way from relative to relative in an effort to find a permanent home, struggling every single day with the question of what they will eat and how they will find a safe place to sleep that night.  The main character herself is one of those unforgettable heroines that is easy to love even as she makes mistake after mistake as a 13-year-old who is forced to navigate the world of adult decisions, shouldering the burden of finding a home for her family because even though she doesn’t know what she’s doing, it’s not like she can ask an adult for help.  Too bad the Animorphs didn’t have Dicey Tillerman on the team, because this girl shepherds her family through an Odysseus-worthy journey on stubbornness alone.

7. High Wizardry, Diane Duane

  • The Young Wizards series has a lot of good books in it, but this one will forever be my favorite because it shows that weird, awkward, science- and sci-fi-loving girls can save the world just by being themselves.  Dairine Callahan was the first geek girl who ever taught me it’s not only okay to be a geek girl, but that there’s power in empiricism when properly applied.  In contrast to a lot of scientifically “smart” characters from sci-fi (who often use long words or good grades as a shorthand for conveying their expertise), Dairine applies the scientific method, programming theory, and a love of Star Wars to her problem-solving skills in a way that easily conveys that she—and Diane Duane, for that matter—love science for what it is: an adventurous way of taking apart the universe to find out how it works.  This is sci-fi at its best. 

8. Dr. Franklin’s Island, Gwyneth Jones

  • If you love Animorphs’ body horror, personal tragedy, and portrayal of teens struggling to cope with unimaginable circumstances, then this the book for you!  I’m only being about 80% facetious, because this story has all that and a huge dose of teen angst besides.  It’s a loose retelling of H.G. Wells’s classic The Island of Doctor Moreau, but really goes beyond that story by showing how the identity struggles of adolescence interact with the identity struggles of being kidnapped by a mad scientist and forcibly transformed into a different animal.  It’s a survival story with a huge dose of nightmare fuel (seriously: this book is not for the faint of heart, the weak of stomach, or anyone who skips the descriptions of skin melting and bones realigning in Animorphs) but it’s also one about how three kids with a ton of personal differences and no particular reason to like each other become fast friends over the process of surviving hell by relying on each other.  

9. Sideways Stories from Wayside School, Louis Sachar

  • Louis Sachar is the only author I’ve ever seen who can match K.A. Applegate for nihilistic humor and absurdist horror layered on top of an awesome story that’s actually fun for kids to read.  Where he beats K.A. Applegate out is in terms of his ability to generate dream-like surrealism in these short stories, each one of which starts out hilariously bizarre and gradually devolves into becoming nightmare-inducingly bizarre.  Generally, each one ends with an unsettling abruptness that never quite relieves the tension evoked by the horror of the previous pages, leaving the reader wondering what the hell just happened, and whether one just wet one’s pants from laughing too hard or from sheer existential terror.  The fact that so much of this effect is achieved through meta-humor and wordplay is, in my opinion, just a testament to Sachar’s huge skill as a writer. 

10. Magyk, Angie Sage

  • As I mentioned, the Septimus Heap series is probably the second most powerful portrayal of the effect of war on children that I’ve ever encountered; the fact that the books are so funny on top of their subtle horror is a huge bonus as well.  There are a lot of excellent moments throughout the series where the one protagonist’s history as a child soldier (throughout this novel he’s simply known as “Boy 412″) will interact with his stepsister’s (and co-protagonist’s) comparatively privileged upbringing.  Probably my favorite is the moment when the two main characters end up working together to kill a man in self-defense, and the girl raised as a princess makes the horrified comment that she never thought she’d actually have to kill someone, to which her stepbrother calmly responds that that’s a privilege he never had; the ensuing conversation strongly implies that his psyche has been permanently damaged by the fact that he was raised to kill pretty much from infancy, but all in a way that is both child-friendly and respectful of real trauma.  

Part four of the Halloween AU.

Tony doesn’t call. They don’t call Tony. Tony continues to show up to the diner once a month though so they figure everything’s going alright.

And then suddenly there’s a scream and then hissing from the dining room and Steve nearly flings his spatula across the kitchen in surprise. Then he’s just mad. God damn it. Why. It had been such a good start to the night.

It occurs to Steve after he walks into the dining room that Natasha had never actually met Tony, and that might not have been by accident. Seeing Natasha bristled and ready to strike as Tony bares his fangs at her kind of cinches it for him—either by Natasha or Tony, it had been by design that they had never been in the diner at the same time. They both do that terrifying hissing sound again and Steve notices Bucky backed up against a booth by one of Natasha’s long, spindly legs. Steve has literally never had less time for supernatural bullshit so he takes the spray bottle of water from under the counter and squirts both Natasha and Tony in the face with it. “Cut it out!”

Steve wishes that he’d had his camera because Natasha’s mouth has opened into a hilarious little ‘o’ of surprise and he doesn’t think he’s ever seen Tony look so offended in his life.

“Was that really worth it?” Bucky asks as he uses a special saw on the end of a broom handle to cut Steve down from the ceiling. “Yes,” Steve replies, because even if Natasha had angrily stuck him to the ceiling and flounced out, and Tony had hissed ‘serves you right’ and flounced out after her, it was worth it to see their faces immediately after spraying them. It had also had the added bonus of showing the other supernatural creatures that he was 1) not fucking around about them being civil in his diner and 2) crazy enough to enforce his rules if he was willing to spray both an ancient vampire and a daughter of Arachne in the face with water. They might have thought he was a little suicidal, but… whatever. He’d gotten what he wanted, which was Tony and Natasha to stop fighting.

It works out. Natasha and Tony can be in the diner at the same time without trying to kill each other now. There’s a chilliness between them but whatever; there’s a chilliness between ghouls and specters too. Steve’s pretty sure that, because of this, there’s no one more surprised than Steve when a human comes in to make a pass at Tony and Natasha clocks him so hard that he goes sliding across the floor, knocked out cold. Tony still has his fingers in his mouth from when he’d been licking them clean of grease from his burger. He doesn’t move to take them out as he stares at Natasha. “What,” he says around his fingers. Natasha reaches toward him, one pair of hands holding his shoulders, the other pair going higher to pinch his cheeks. “You precious idiot,” she says affectionately. “If anyone wants to harm you they will have to go through me.” “What,” Tony says again, but she just gently shushes him.

She frightens me, is the first text Steve ever gets from Tony, followed quickly by a selfie taken by Natasha with Tony’s phone where she has two arms wrapped around him and is clutching him to her side, captioned I’m a fucking delight. Tony looks bewildered. Steve saves the picture.

Pepper comes into the diner while Natasha is there. The occupants of the diner all freeze, but relax when she approaches Natasha and Tony instead of anyone else. Pepper gives Natasha an appraising look before saying, “If you hurt Tony, what I do to you will be worse than what the gods did to your ancestor.” Natasha turns to blink all of her eyes at Pepper slowly. “Doubtful,” she says finally. “And my suffering is none of your fucking business.” “Honestly, how does Tony find you people,” Pepper sighs in exasperation. “Trust Tony to find literally everyone who isn’t properly terrified of me.” “Steve’s properly terrified of you,” Bucky points out, then winces when a spatula bounces off the back of his head. “Ow!”

Then, weeks later, Steve gets a series of texts from Tony, lots of letters and numbers that mean a whole lot of nothing before ending with an ominous help. He rouses Bucky from a nap on the couch as he struggles to step into his pants while he calls Tony. “What? What’s wrong?!” he asks frantically when there’s the click of the line being picked up. “I don’t—I don’t know where I am?” Tony’s voice says, quivering with fear. “I don’t know where I am. Everything’s different and—help. Please help me.” Steve puts Tony on speaker and he and Bucky get Tony to describe his surroundings. It’s kind of heartbreaking when he tells them what he sees and then in a smaller, more confused voice whispers, “But there should be a deli here. A deli and a Laundromat and a newspaper stand. Where did they go? I just wanted some pastrami.”

The deli he’d been looking for hasn’t existed for forty years.

“But it was just there,” Tony insists as they gently lead him toward a cab. “Just the other day, it was there, not these—these—” He motions helplessly at the string of shops, none of which sell food. “…It was just there.” Tony is very old, they remind themselves. Ancient even, maybe. Time must look so different for him, when he’s seen so much of it, will see so much more. “C’mon, Tony,” Steve says gently, and Tony wilts and allows himself to be eased into the cab. They’re afraid to ask him where he lives (what if he doesn’t remember? Will that just upset him more?) so they take him to their apartment instead after asking if it’s okay.

“Sorry about the mess,” Steve says instinctively as they enter the apartment. Tony looks around and then looks back at Steve. “There’s a single sock half-shoved under the couch.” “I was raised Irish Catholic,” Steve blurts out. Tony’s expression tells him that he has no idea what that had to do with anything. “Mrs. Rogers kept a… neat house,” Bucky offers after some thought. “Was that your wife?” Tony asks. “My Ma,” Steve cuts in, blushing, as Bucky begins to laugh. “Do I look old enough to have had a wife?!” Tony raises his eyebrows but says nothing, instead taking a seat on the couch, placing his hands in his lap and looking around curiously. Steve picks up the sock and flings it at Bucky’s head because it’s one of his. “You wanna watch shitty vampire movies?” Bucky asks, reaching up to grab the sock and then rub it in Steve’s face. Tony’s ‘okay’ can barely be heard over Steve yelling.

“Unrealistic,” Tony sneers, looking incredibly offended. “I have never in my life said ‘blah’ except to mock people who talk too much.” Steve snorts soda out his nose trying not to laugh.

You’ve heard of 110% Jack Zimmermann, now get ready for

0% Jack Zimmermann.

  • There’s a cookout at a neighboring frat house, and the hockey team plus Farmer go to hang out and drink beer. They start playing an impromptu game of volleyball in the yard, and Jack’s on Chowder’s team.
  • Now, Chowder is steeling himself for strategy, Jack’s murder face, and a lot of competitive bullshit.
  • What he gets is Jack chirping Holster, who isn’t even in the yard. The ball goes flying right past Jack’s face and this total meatball just watches it bounce out of bounds.
  • “Ha ha, look at it go.”
  • Chowder kicks Jack off his team because they are losing so bad, it’s actually pretty embarrassing. And Jack’s like, “What? Of course I can play with a Sprite in my hand.”
  • “Jack no.”
  • Also consider:
  • Jack studying for a class that he has zero interest in. His studying for economics looks an awful lot like amateur architecture.
  • “Jack, why is there a popsicle stick Eiffel Tower on the kitchen table? Wait, where did these popsicle sticks even come from?”
  • Jack actually gives negative fucks when it comes to cooking just for himself. His meals don’t even make sense half of the time. Bitty caught him eating a bowl of mac and cheese, tater tots, green peas and ketchup once. He still has nightmares.
  • There’s another cookout on Frat row that the hockey team crashes (but they bring tub juice so they get to stay). Someone set up a badminton net in the yard and Jack somehow gets roped into playing.
  • (Not by Chowder, though, because that’s the kind of lesson you only have to learn once.)
  • Bitty is playing his little Southern heart out, running up and down his side of the makeshift court. He swings at the birdie so hard it actually gets stuck in his racket.
  • Meanwhile, Jack is seeing if he can balance his racket on his chin.
  • And then he tries to see if he can whack the birdie onto the frat house’s roof. Which turns into several people cussing him out and Bitty chases him around for a few minutes with the intent of beating Jack Zimmermann’s ass.
  • (Jack laughs and laughs and maybe he lets Bitty catch him and then he grins up at him—there had been a leaping tackle involved in the take down—and he says “What’re you gonna do with me now, Bittle?” And Bitty is Not Amused, so he pinches Jack’s nipple hard and then he goes help the frat bros get the birdie out of the gutter.)
  • Jack loves history, but only some history. He gives a lengthy presentation on Colonial North America in one of his history classes, and at the end the TA raises her hand. “How did Thomas Jefferson’s contributions shift the course of United States history?”
  • And he just squints at her and goes, “Who the fuck is Thomas Jefferson?”
  • Watching TV with Jack is a gamble. He’s either on the edge of his seat, eyes trained on the screen, ready to permanently silence anyone who dares speak/interrupt his show. Or he talks over the TV, puts it on mute to better hear someone else talk over the TV, and makes fun of the various American accents on the show.
  • (Jack’s southern accent is so bad and he knows it, and he makes it so much worse when Bitty is around to hear it. It’s all fun and games until a French Canadian on TV has something to say, and then Jack’s all like “Wtf, Bitty? I thought we were friends!?” Bitty is really glad he sprung for throw pillows in the Haus, because otherwise he would end up concussing his captain.)
  • Jack took one semester of Spanish, and he remembers a surprising amount of it, considering he went to class a total of six times and did virtually none of the work. His Spanish is terrible, but he knows numbers, colors, seasons and “No bueno.” For some time, lots of things were “no bueno.”
  • But then Jack stumbled across ASL via YouTube and he gets super into it. By the end of the week he knows about as much ASL as he does Spanish. By the end of the month he can sign the most beautiful profanity and dad jokes. By the end of the school year it’s started rubbing off on the rest of the team.
  • (Their butchered ASL is somehow worse than Jack’s Spanish, and he would be more annoyed if it weren’t hilarious. For some time Ransom and Holster take to pointing at good things and then making the sign for “candy.” Sriracha? Candy. Apple pie? Candy. The mysterious orange cat that wanders along Frat Row? Candy. Chowder’s stuffed shark? Candy. The latest episode of Breaking Bad? Candy. Pretty soon everyone starts using the candy sign as a gesture of approval. One Sunday Jack walks down to the kitchen to find Bitty making those amazing sausage balls, with real maple syrup and grated sharp cheddar. Jack touches his shoulder so that Bitty’s looking at him and then he presses a finger to his jaw, candy, and points to Bitty so there’s no misunderstanding. Bitty blushes clear to the roots of his hair, even when he says, “Y’all are so weird.”)
  • This takes us to a new friend. Ransom and Holster and Jack and Chowder are chilling in the dining hall, and Ransom and Holster are using their terrible pidgin ASL (half the signs are made up and the rest don’t matter) which catches the eye of one Amy Willashire, who is HOH and still pretty new to Samwell.
  • Amy marches her happy ass up to the table and starts signing away, a mile a minute, the biggest grin on her face because sometimes it feels like she’s the only HOH student on campus. That grin slowly fades as Ransom and Holster stare at her like she’s grown a second head. (They’re actually panicking, because they understand about one word in ten and how are they going to tell her that?)
  • And then Jack perks up and starts signing back, so Amy is signing to him. He has to tell her twice to slow tf down, but then she sits with them and by the time the hockey crew have to go to class she’s chirping Jack for his ASL accent. (Some of his signs come out backwards, and he’ll swap hands halfway through a thought instead of using his dominant hand for most of the work. Jack flips her off with a laugh, which is a sign everyone can get right.)
  • So Jack and Amy are ASL buddies. Amy is super stoked that most of the hockey team knows at least some of the language, which means she can tell them something in a pinch. So the team learns even more ASL and Amy learns about hockey, and things are golden.
  • Until Amy invites Jack and Dex to a pool party. Everyone there is at least one beer in, and they’re playing in the pool, and someone mentions water chicken. Amy wants to play, so as a matter of course she clambers onto Jack’s shoulders.
  • From her vantage point, she can’t tell what Jack’s saying but she can feel him giggling like a bastard as they wipe out literally every time, to the point where everyone else is playing pool chicken and she is trying to splash Jack into next week. He’s splashing back. It’s a whole thing.
  • (They find Dex in the basement with a few of the stoners and a lingering smell of pot. Dex has finally found his chill.)
  • That is what 0% Jack Zimmermann looks like.
Damon Salvatore - It Was Always You

You’ve always felt something more than friendship towards Damon Salvatore, but you felt like he was always so busy pining after Elena that he wouldn’t even notice you. Yourself and Damon get the chance to spend the day together and it’s so much fun, but you weren’t expecting the day to take the turn that it did.

Damon x Fem!Reader

Warning: Mentions of alcohol

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Angel

Author: kpopfanfictrash

Pairing: You / Jackson

Rating: PG-13

Word Count: 4,074

Summary:  You’re a medical intern, always a perfectionist and used to being the best at everything you do. Jackson Wang is the male nurse beloved by everyone and constantly on your nerves. When you two are brought together, it could be the best or the worst thing that’s ever happened.

Originally posted by got7official

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Lance dropping casual observations about Keith is a pure and good thing.

They’re on a new planet and Lance is trying out the food at a local festival. He’s thankful for the green goop and Hunk has done wonders in experimenting with the flavor, but sometimes a guy needs a little more variety. Or at least something that tastes like coconut. He grabs some sort of kabob looking thing and takes a small bite. As soon as the flavor hits him, he’s bounding across the room waving the dish excitedly in Keith’s face shouting, “Dude you HAVE to try this, you’re gonna love it.”

It’s hot pink with green stripes an….fuzzy? Keith raises an eyebrow at the striped mammalian horror for a moment, then narrows his eyes at Lance. “It’s not going to turn me green or make me throw up is it?”

Lance rolls his eyes. “That was one time, get over it already. Nothing weird is going to happen, I just know you have a sweet tooth so I think you’ll like it.”

Keith is blindsided by the statement. How does Lance even know that? What the quiznak? He doesn’t realize he’s silently staring at Lance until the blue paladin is waving the food in his face once again. “Are you gonna try it or what?”

Keith brushes the surprise off; he’ll think about it later. “Um… yeah, sure. Stop trying to stab me in the face with it, jeez.”

Keith ends up eating 11 of the seussian skewers before they go back to the castle for the night.



“What are you nervous about?”

Keith’s posture stiffens. He didn’t even hear Lance enter the common room. “What makes you think I’m nervous?”

Lance climbs over the back of the couch to seat himself on it - because he can’t just be normal and walk around to sit like a normal person - before answering. “You’re staring off into space, ha, and messing with the Velcro on your gloves. You only do that when you’re nervous about something.”

“How do you even know that?!” The question tumbles out of Keith’s mouth without explicit permission.

Lance pulls his legs up to cross them and raises an eyebrow. “I pay attention, obviously.” He looks away before adding “So….what’s wrong.”

They talk for a while. It’s not a magic cure, but Keith doesn’t feel like the universe is completely falling apart afterwards. It’s…nice.

Pidge finds the t-shirt on one of their trips to the space mall. It says something along the lines of “Edge Lord” on it in an alien tongue and Pidge thought it was the most hilarious thing they had ever seen an immediately bought it. Keith wrinkles his nose at it, but leaves the room to pull it on anyways. He’s never really had a family, but Pidge is so much like a younger sibling and they looked so proud of the gift. He doesn’t want to let them down. So, he slips it on and marches back into the training deck, determined to not be embarrassed. Which meant that Lance had made his way into the room just before Keith returned, of course.

Lance actually does a double take before he’s consumed with laughter. Keith pouts. When the full body howling finally dies down to more of a giggle, Lance looks over at Pidge. “Is THAT the shirt you bought him?”

They grin, “Yup.”

“God bless you Pidge. I can’t believe you got him to wear it though, Keith hates the color orange.” There’s no time for Keith to wonder how it is that Lance became privy to that information because Lance gives him another look over and grins. “With good reason too. It’s definitely not your color dude.”

Keith immediately pulls the boot off of his left foot and chucks it at Lance’s head. He doesn’t actually throw it hard, but he also doesn’t miss. 

Hunk finds a shop that sells space candy on another trip to the space mall a few weeks after the t-shit incident. They look and taste like jelly beans and even come in a myriad of assorted colors. Everyone on the ship is basically obsessed with them. No one brings it up, but the space jellies, as lance loving calls them, remind everyone on the team of home. It’s bittersweet and Coran makes sure the kitchen is well stocked with them. 

It’s the middle of the night and Keith can’t sleep, so he drags himself to the kitchen for a midnight snack. Lo and behold, he notices a certain Cuban boy sitting on the counter tossing space jellies in the air and trying to catch them with his mouth. Lance’s antics are ridiculous, but they’re also kind of…. endearing? Keith shakes the thought from his head and rolls his eyes for good measure before making his way to the pantry. 

If it had been anyone else, there would have been at least three boxes left and a cold juice sitting there waiting for the taking. BUT it’s Keith, so that means the last box of space jellies is currently being consumed by Lance who rattles a half finished box and says, “Looking for these?”

When Keith turns to face him, Lance is grinning from ear to ear. It’s definitely not cute. “You took the last one.”

Lance’s smile doesn’t falter at Keith’s grumpy tone. “Sure did.”

Keith huffs and turns back to the pantry, resigns himself to grabbing a bag of little pea shaped things that taste like banana at first, but leave a burnt toast aftertaste. Pidge is obsessed with them, Keith doesn’t really get it but he needs something to snack on so he sits a the table and tears opens the bag.

A few minutes go by and the silence is only broken up by Lace humming a few bars of some song Keith has never heard before. He likes it though and he’ s almost tempted to ask Lance to hum it a little louder. But that’s weird. So he just stares at his pea things and occasionally places one in his mouth.

A box is suddenly placed in front of Keith as Lance slides onto the seat directly across from him smiling. “You like the black ones, right?” He says it with an air of confidence that only Lance possesses but there’s some sort of undertone to it that Keith can’t quite identify. Fondness maybe?

Keith shifts his gaze from the boy in front of him back down to the box of space jellies. There are quite a few of Keith’s preferred jellies in there and it almost seems like Lance had planned on saving all of them for Keith before he even came into the kitchen. Keith pushes the thought away and looks back up at Lance to mutter a thank you. When Lance smiles this time it’s blinding and genuine. Keith has to avert his gaze yet again, because when Lance gives him that specific brand of smile… his heart starts to do weird things.

The humming starts again and when Keith is done with his jellies they clean up and Lance walks him to his room. The “Goodnight” Lace utters before heading to his room is accompanied with a small wave and a soft smile. Keith falls back to sleep as soon as his head hits the pillow. 

They’re sitting side by side on the floor of the bridge staring upwards at the holographic image of Earth’s sun and all of the stars surrounding it. It doesn’t happen every night, not that there’s really a night or a day in space, either way they should both be asleep at these time none the less, but it’s not uncommon for one of them to find the other sitting by a window looking out at the endless space that surrounds them at all times now.

Sometimes they just sit together in comfortable silence. Sometimes they make up stupid constellations to make one another laugh. Occasionally they’ll both lay down next to each other as they look out a window at an unfamiliar planet and talk about all kinds of things in muted tones. 

Tonight though, there was something about the look in Lance’s eyes that made Keith take him by the wrist and lead him to the bridge to look at the familiar stars they’d both grown up staring at. 

Keith smiles as he points to another cluster and says, “That’s Lyra.”

Lace looks up. “It’s small.”

“Yep.” The red paladin nods. “It’s the 52nd constellation in order from largest to smallest, but Vega is part of the constellation and that’s the fifth brightest star in Earth’ s night sky.”

Lance pulls his legs to his chest and rests his chin on his knees. “Isn’t there a myth behind it about a musician or something?”

“Yeah, Orpheus. The story is pretty sad actually.”

Lance spares Keith a glance paired with a smirk before looking back at the hologram. A half smile shouldn’t twist Keith’s stomach like that, but it does. “Greek mythology usually is Keith.” There’s a brief pause before Lance turns back to Keith again and asks “Will you tell me the story?” 

This time Lance doesn’t look away. His gaze is fixed on Keith and the expression he’s making and the tone of voice he’s using isn’t quite as unfamiliar to Keith anymore as it was four months back. In fact, he gives Keith that look every night they sit together under the stars, and sometimes throughout the day when he thinks no one is looking, or when he catches Keith laughing at one of his jokes. Lance looks at Keith like precious, like he’s the most beautiful thing in the universe and it never fails to make Keith’s mouth go dry or increase his heartrate.

“You don’t want to hear me ramble about some random Greek tragedy.” He can’t look away from those eyes. Who awarded Lance the right to have such perfect blue eyes? They’re the pools of water you land in when you’ve followed the river down the waterfall and Keith has never been a strong swimmer. It’s not fair.

“I do.” Lance sounds so sincere. Why does he have to sound like that? Why is his voice so soft and fond? Two syllables came out of that mouth. Simple words, three letters, one space between the first and the last two when written down, and they still manage to knock the breath from Keith’ s lungs. 

When it’s just him and Keith, Lance is different. The obnoxious jokes, and the issuing of lame little competitions between the two of them, and the occasional bickering are all still there even when they’re alone. Keith just feels like there’s something…extra. Like bonus content you only get when you’ve purchased the collector’s edition of a game or something. Lance’s edges get softer and he’s more honest about what he’s feeling when no one else is in the room. He’s  a little more sincere, more prone to being serious, and it’s stunning.

“Please? I like to hear your voice.” Keith still can’t manage to tear his eyes away from the boy sitting next to him, and he knows. He knows that he’s beat red. It’s so, so embarrassing, but he still takes a deep breath when his lungs figure out how they’re supposed to work again and he starts telling the story. 

“So, you were right. Orpheus was a musician, but not like any run of the mill musician, he was the best harpist in all of Greece, even the gods acknowledged his talents.” Lance whistles and Keith tries very hard to not be distracted by the way his lips pucker to make the sound. “Umm…. So, on his wedding day his wife, Eurydice, got separated from the wedding party and got bit on the heel by a snake while she was running away from a Satyr with… less that pure intentions and died.”

“That’s awful.” It’ s almost a whisper.

“Yeah, it really is.” Keith pauses for a moment to silently mourn a fictional nymph. Which, okay yeah it’s probably dumb, but whatever. If Keith had learned anything in the last six months of constant warfare, it’s that patience yields focus and you should always respect the dead. He continues, “Anyways, Orpheus was so heartbroken that he decided to take a journey to the underworld to strike a bargain with Hades to get her back. So when he got there he just started playing this song, and it was so beautiful that even the stones around them start crying and it moved both Hades and his wife Persephone’s hearts or whatever, so Hades cut him a deal.”

“He told Orpheus that if he started walking to the gates of Hell Eurydice would follow behind him and be returned to the world of the living, but only if he didn’t look back at her until they were both out of Hades’ domain. So he walked and walked and had to keep reminding himself that no matter how much his heart told him to, he couldn’t look back. So, when he reached the upperworld he finally looked back, except he forgot to account for the fact that Eurydice could be farther than a foot behind him. She hadn’t reached the entry yet, so she was dragged back down to stay in the world of the dead.”

Lance makes a small sound, whining sound. It’s the same sound Lance always makes when he hears something sad or sees wounds on a comrade after a battle. Keith reaches a hand out to push Lance’s bangs back partly because he knows it’s the easiest way to sooth the blue paladin, and partly because it was an excuse to touch him.

He pulls his hand back, not without reluctance but he still has the rest of the story to tell and being mesmerized by Lance melting under his fingertips would be a little too distracting for Keith to remember how words work. “After that he only ever played sad music. There are a few different versions of how the myth ends, but the one that’s told most often is that in his grief he didn’t pay tribute to the god of wine and he was torn limb from limb as punishment. The muses carried his harp into the sky to form Lyra and immortalize Orphus’s tragedy in the night sky.”

All at once there’s a weight on Keith’s side that was not previously there. Lance had closed the small space between them so that he could rest his head against Keith’s should and lean into him. 

Lance makes an amused sound. “Of course your favorite constellation in the sky would be the one with the with the most depressing love story behind it.”

Keith furrows his brow. He’s been pointing out different constellations all night and he just doesn’t get how Lance picked out his favorite one so easily. His heart does something weird again. It’s painful and also…  pleasant? warm? nice? 

Keith does it too, though. Off of the top of his head he could tell you that Lance hates everything remotely flavored like cooked carrots, but will eat anything that tastes like raw ones. He could write poems about how Lance always worries his bottom lip with his teeth when he’s not quite sure what to say. He could almost list all of the names of the people in Lance’s absurdly large family in alphabetical order and tell you at least two facts about each one of them. Keith could tell you all about how Lance mumbles under his breath in Spanish when he’s scared or exhausted. It wouldn’t sound as pretty, but he could hum you all of the songs Lance sings when he’s happy.

Keith know without a shadow of a doubt why he remembers every tiny detail that Lance has ever revealed to him. There wasn’t a specific moment he realized he was in love with Lance, it had been happening slowly for a long time now. And, yeah, Keith thinks he has an idea as to  why Lance knows so many small truths about him too. He’s just… never asked for confirmation. So he plays with the velcro on his gloves for split second before deciding to take them off completely and setting them aside. He burns a hole in the projected image of Earth’s sun and bites the bullet.

“Why do you keep doing that?”

Lance lifts his head from Keith’s should and settles his chin in it’s place so that he gets a better view of Keith’s profile. “Doing what?”

Keith musters up the courage to turn his face and look directly into Lance’s eyes. Their noses are almost touching now. “Noticing all of these… I don’t know, these like, obscure little things about me that no one else notices. Like knowing I like black space jellies when I’ve never actually vocalized anything about that, or remember when Hunk tried to shove that plant in my face so I could smell it and you swatted it out of his hands because it looked like a tulip and you remembered I was allergic to them. Or knowing that my favorite color is blue and that my least favorite is burnt orange.”

“To be fair burnt orange is an awful color in general.”

“Okay, yeah, but you always know when I’m upset, or nervous, or happy because of some weird hand gesture that I usually don’t even know I’m doing until you point it out. Why do you know all of those things Lance? Why do you remember them?”

One of Lance’s eyebrows quirks up and he teases, “Do you really want to know?”

Keith let’s out an exasperated breath. “Well, I asked didn’t I? So yeah Lance, I want to know.”

The smirk falls off of Lace’s face and he shifts himself to sit on his feet so that his body is facing Keith’s. Lace keeps his eyes trained on the floor, looking like he’s waging some sort of internal battle, and when he finally looks back up at Keith there’s determination burning in his expression and maybe a little fear. 

Lance opens his mouth to speak…and then he closes it. He does this four times before bringing his folded hands up from his lap to cover his face. Lance complains into his hands in hushed Spanish. 

When he peaks out from between his fingers and then drops them uselessly back in his lap, his cheeks and ears are an adorable shade of red and he smiles at Keith sheepishly. “You know, for someone who talks so much, I’m really not all that great with words when it comes to stuff like this.” 

The words are accompanied by a self deprecating laugh. Keith frowns and tries to make his voice sound encouraging when he says “Take your time.”

Lance smiles, but there’s a bitter edge to it. “That’s the thing though, all I’ve been doing is taking my time. I’m kind of sick of it honestly. I keep trying to find the exact right words to say to you and I practice in my head and then as soon as I consider opening my mouth to say it, I just forget how to talk or I say something dumb. And it’s just so ridiculous, you know? Because it doesn’t have to be some drawn out dramatic speech like I keep telling myself. It’s actually just so stupidly simple and I don’t get why I’m so scared to mess it up. But really, how hard is it to say “because” and follow it up with three words? I look at you an I just…” Lance stares at him. “I just…” Lance lifts his hands and places them on either side of Keith’s face. 

Keith’s heart is trying to make its great escape by bludgeoning it’s way out of his chest. He’s pretty sure his entire rib cage is turning to dust and his body is down a set of lungs. They’ve just ceased existing. What are lungs? No clue, never heard of them.

“Keith.” Lance’s voice cracks just a little when he says the name and he swallows and starts again. “Keith. Keith Kogane. My buddy, my pal. I know that you have a sweet tooth, and that you love a good hug but don’t know how to ask for one when you need it. I know that you’re smart, and talented, and think butterscotch candies are the sole creation of the devil himself.”

Keith can’t help the laughter that escapes him and it makes Lance smile the way he always does when Keith so much as chuckles.

“I know that you have the best laugh I’ve ever heard. You have no idea how much I love that laugh. Seriously. I know you collect snow globes, and love conspiracy theories-”

“They’re not all just theories Lance, there’s a lot of evidence out -”

“Shhhhhh, you asked me a question and I’m trying to answer it and I’m kind of on a roll after mumbling for five minutes about how this wasn’t going to be some drawn out thing. But I’m just focusing on you instead of some practiced speech and I’m actually forming mildly coherent sentences, so be quiet. I haven’t even gotten to the best part yet.”

“I know a bunch of tiny little facts about you, and yeah sure part of that is because I’m super observant and totally cool,” he winks, “but I notice all of those things specially about you because…” Lance swallows hard and takes a calming breath. “I lo-”

Keith has been told many times that he gives into impulses too quickly, that he’s too impatient. And…yeah, it’s true, absolutely, and he’s working on it. No, really, he is! Try as he might though, he couldn’t handle another second of wanting to kiss Lance and not doing it when the opportunity clearly presented itself. 

It’s not the smoothest first kiss, but it’s not all teeth and bumping noses either, and it leads into soft drawn out kisses, and kisses that can barely even be called that because the two of them are grinning so wide. 

When Keith pulls away a faux pouty expression take over Lance’s face. “You didn’t even let me finish.” He starts to waggle his eyebrows in the most obnoxious way possible and says “These lips were just irresistible huh? I guess I’m just too smoochable.”

How the hell does Keith find this so cute? 

“Hey, Keith?” 

“Yeah?”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Magnus Chase and the Gods of Asgard: The Sexuality Crisis

Magnus had never been attracted to boys before, only girls. He could appreciate the aesthetic of them, but never before had he wanted to date one. He was as straight as a rod-always had been, and always will be.

So it wasn’t gay of him to think Alex was cute. She was cute on both her female days and male days. It wasn’t gay at all.

Right?

Or: Magnus has a crisis over whether liking Alex is gay or not and everyone else is facepalming at him.

Read it on AO3 and FanFiction

Magnus was straight.

Sure, he had that period of time where he had questioned his sexuality after learning that heterosexuality wasn’t the only one, but everyone went through that. And by the time it was over, he had decided that he was nothing other than straight. The thought of being anything else never crossed his mind again.

But just because Magnus was straight didn’t mean he couldn’t appreciate the aesthetic of other guys from time to time. He wasn’t blind, he could tell whether people were attractive or not. And sometimes, those guys were pretty nice to look at for a moment or two longer than necessary. But he never once felt the desire to do anything romantic with them, because he wasn’t attracted to guys. It was as simple as that.

“See something ya like?”

Keep reading

darkness || chapter one: the encounter

Relationship: Demon!Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: You hated the town you lived in, it was small and everyone knew everyone - there was no privacy. Not only was there no privacy, but there was something off about the town. Strange disappearances, murders that get forgotten about, screams that only you hear, the list goes on. You’re fed up, deciding to take matters into your own hand as you start investigating the town, it’s history and roots, but what you end up discovering is so much more than you bargained for. Nothing can save you.

Warnings: alcohol use, panic attack, mentions of demons / demonic spirits

Word Count: 2.2k

A/N: this is for @rotisserierogers Halloween Challenge, enjoy!!


Keep reading

The Perfect Night Part 2

Pairing: Peter Parker x reader, Tony x daughter!reader

Fandom: Spider-Man: Homecoming

Warnings: Language, a very pissed Tony (yes this is absolutely a warning), insecurities

Genre: Lil bit of angst, then some fluff

A/N: Woah, tons of people requested a part two, and I somehow found a little bit of time to write, so of course I jumped at the chance to write this one. Many people requested many different things for the part two, so I tried to fit them all in the best I could. Love you all! Also, if you have a request, please send it to the blog I made for writing @nerdywrites from now on. Thank you!

Part 1

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game grumps ask meme.

“Dude, just… just pity laugh, at least!”
“I don’t wanna kill anybody, I’m a pacifist. Ooops, killed six people.”
“Six is the number of Def Leppard members, almost.”
“Did you know I’m a professional joke? My life is a joke.”
“Why do you enjoy watching me suffer so?”
“Remember kids, if you wanna defeat the evil power, you better fucking find the nearest sharpest sword and run as fast as you can.”
“I don’t judge you when you steal children, so I’ll thank you to show me that same courtesy.”
“Having a great time being in immeasurable pain.”
“Yes, have you ever heard of brapnel? That’s baby shrapnel.”
“Wait, mechanical bird is plane. I just realized.”
“Crazy how dead you are, I mean like, wow.”
“I didn’t have any problem at all after I died twice.”
“Such a nice man we ripped off there.”
“I’ll never put on pants.”
“Checkers would be better with badgers.”
“HEY LADIES. I’M TOM JONES. LEADER OF THE TOM JONES CULT. MY NAME’S TOM JONES. GIMME THIRTY APPLES. …TWENTY-FIVE APPLES”
“She’s adorable! Until she turns into a hideous undead monster creature, then ya gotta hit her with the lead pipe.”
“Stop dancing at me!”
“I have some very important masturbating to do.”
“You make me have to pee, always.”
“Whales are just Earth’s way of taking a shit.”
“I like it when Luigi’s happy. It makes me smile.”
“You know when you get high, and you start floating five feet off the ground, and gain a Spanish accent?”
“Whenever you talk about being high, it always just shows how much you’ve clearly never gotten high before.”
“Dude, what if hell was up?!”
“I will raise that chicken as if it were my own daughter… who I turned into chicken fingers.”
“‘Becky with the good hair’ sounds too much like ‘caramel corn’?”
“I! WANT! MURDER!”
“Even 90s rock won’t make me feel good about this!”
“This might be the drugs talking, but I love drugs.”
“That’s one boopity you shouldn’t have shmoopled.”
“Am I nude right now?”
“It’d be weird to sleep amongst your dead friends.”
“Are you here to repent for your chins?”
“Why am I not eating ice cream for every meal?”
“This taxi is bae.”
“The world is full of magic. Horrible, horrible magic.”
“Jesus is my drug.”
“I don’t know anything about memes.”
“You would say that, no matter what, me from another dimension that runs a porn ring.”
“I’m a milk-based life form.”
“I fucked a cantaloupe once.”
“Awww babe, look at us, we have our own cam girl operation.”
“Everyone who works for us gradually becomes more gay in their interactions because… we are always getting… weirdly gay with each other.”
“Shut up, ya tweezer!”
“And Half-Life 3, I don’t know anything about Half-Life 3, other than that everyone says it’s confirmed.”
“Good thing you’ve got fingers and wrists of steel, from that straight jacking.”
“I’ve learned the importance of being cuddled.”
“Hi, I’m a musician with a huge penis. Do you know where I can find guitars and Magnum condoms?”
“Baths are amazing, especially when you bring a friend.”
“Jesus, you gotta wine and dine me first. You can’t just open up with that shit.”
“We’ve broken several laws.”
“What, you wanna try diplomacy? He’s a fucking crab!”
“I’M READY TO BREED!”
“‘Bonfire’ is made up of two words: ‘bonf’ and ‘ire.’”
“These balls are coming at me fast and furious. It’s like that movie, ‘Speed.’”
“As I was about to say, revenge is a dish best served fuck you.”
“When someone says ‘just fuck me up’ on the internet that means have sex with me in a rough, passionate manner, correct?”
“If there’s one thing I can be totally honest about, it’s that I would happily lie to your face.”
“Just get abducted! We are your saviors, we’re flying in the sky- treat us as your new gods.”
“If I can’t be the best, I sure as hell can be the worst!”
“Water is just… air juice.”
“Uh… Doctor, could you put tits on my thumbs?”
“We hang out… we touch each other…”
“Does anyone have a paper bag I can hyperventilate into?”
“2016 is the year of the butt.”
“If I took pole-dancing, I would be worried that it would be too erotic for everybody else.”
“You make another joke like that, and I’m gonna have to beat you to death with your own shoes.”
“Whoa, look at this trapezoid-headed Funyon ring!”
“I have to take off my jacket because I’m getting hot because this sucks so bad.”
“He died as he lived: covered in mayonnaise.”
“Who wears pants anymore? So 2015.”
“What took you so long, you butt plug?!”
“Look, you tell a couple jokes as a dad and suddenly everyone’s like ‘you’re making dad jokes.’”
“Could you imagine if you unlocked outfits in real life? Like, “Congratulations you wiped your ass, here’s a new shirt.””
“As long as I live, I will never stop loving your random bursts of outrage.”
“Like I would kill a friend… without watching.”
“With your Phd and my also being here, we can solve any problem.”
“I love watching you guys suffer.”
“Man, the void of nothingness is kinda lame.”
“Sometimes you gotta take time and smell the roses. And sometimes you’re gonna be a guy jacking yourself off while you’re rubbing a girl in a video game.”
“I can’t prove that someone ISN’T a reptilian.”
“Oh my god, do we have to kill him while he’s asleep?”
“I feel dead inside, but at least I had pie.”
“This is nice. We’re all bathing in the warm glow of murder.”
“The tears are bittersweet but the pie is delicious.”
“Murder is a spectator sport.”
“Today’s been a day. A day full of tasty, tasty murder.”
“Man, I wish anime was human history.”
“99 red balloons… Something- something- German song.”
“If you wanna have sex you don’t have to make a little song about it, like just come right out and ask.”
“If only I could have sex with my own brain. That would be a mind-fuck.”
“I am not nature. I am nurture.”
“Wouldn’t it be hilarious if they died?”
“Tell me what you’re gonna do to me.”
“Taco Bell cures diabetes.”
“Rule number one of babysitting? DON’T STEP ON THE BABY!”
“Play for my amusement, child.”
“How does a ghost enter a skeleton? And I don’t mean that in a sexy way.”
“You’re locked the closet with the dildo!”
“Yeah, I’ve been drunk on pot before. What of it?”
“You are the worst son ever.”
“Shut up, this is my moment of time shine!”
“Bro, can I be honest with you guys right now? I love defiling things.”
“I wanna touch everything with my boner, including my boner!”
“When you’re married, you can announce your boners everywhere.”
“I am enjoying my pot! Take that out of context.”
“Dude, what if you were next to a supernova when it supernovaed?”
“…and she’s like COVERED in butter.”
“I do apologize for my actions, even though they were totally and completely justified.”
“What are the animals crossing, exactly?”
“I’m a firm believer in ‘if you’re going to fail, you might as well fail spectacularly.’”
“And you know what? We’re tied right now, like brothers… only one brother is significantly smarter and more handsome than the other and has like 15 years more life experience.”
“Frick to the 30th power!”
“My eyebrows are slippery and slimy. I grease them.”
“This is literally just elementary hydrodynamics, I can’t believe you can’t grasp this.”
“Well look the important thing that I’m having fun and other people aren’t.”
“I would fuck everything on the screen including the animals and the bicycle.”
“How dare you know stuff about things. I’m gonna beat you up with my fists… that are made of stuff and things.”
“Spyyyder Loops™ cereal…. made with… spiders.”
“I’m a bottom kind of guy.”
“Can you see my labia in this fucking costume?”
“Just bros bein’ bros…”
“I never feel quite as alone as I do when I play Burger Time.”
“If you do this… I’m gonna be mildly impressed with you.”
“I don’t know how to be interesting, could you give me advice?”
“I BIRTHED YOU FROM MY BRAIN VAGINA.”
“I’m kind of amazing at everything I do.”
“I’LL FUCKING STAB YOUR PARENTS!”
“I would get a photo-realistic tattoo of your face on my inner thigh.”
“Do you think I came out the pussy drawing fucking Mozart?!”
“Follow your stupid fucking dreams.”
“Everyone does crack at some point in their lives. It’s pretty much a rite of passage.”
“I wanna know where Luigi is!”
“Nothin’ wrong with that. Get clean, get clean with the lord.”
“You’re on page 2, and I’m on page…uh, furiously concentrating on not throwing up from this Nutella situation.”
“I wish you could jump inside my skin and know what I know, and feel what I feel.”
“I’m feeling fly for a caucasian man.”
“I will actually strangle you with my bare hands and feet.”
“Don’t call me “bro” in an accusatory tone!”
“This is a good yiff right here.”
“My friends! I love killing my friends.”
“Now I am the one who is bitch.”
“He died as he lived: eating chicken McNuggets.”
“Well, thank you so much, that’s so nice of you to say, but I don’t believe you and you’re a liar.”
“DIE! DIE YOU SICK SON OF A BITCH!”
“I could tell by his briefly angry eyebrows that he’s someone we should be stabbing.”
“A blunt is a maridujuana.”
“If you can’t beat em, Shoot ‘em with a gun!”
“Getting kicked in the nuts is not an event, it’s a process.”
“My goal is to pee in every major body of water on earth.”
“Man, Club Penguin’s gotten weird.”
“Aw jimminey-jillakers. Gee-whiz Batman. Aw frick. Oh jeezum.”
“And you have ten thousand and seven hundred grams of mardujuana.”
“My style is old, nasty t-shirt and rapidly disintegrating pants.”
“If you ever run into me in the wild, we’ll hug it out.”
“I think the noodles are going to kill me!”
“I’m sorry, your son is an anthropomorphic cheese melt.”
“Wait, but, also shut up.”

ladyknighttime  asked:

As a newer follower, what is A Highlander's Tail?

Oh boy. I’m guessing that means you also don’t know PDOC about Fifty Shades of Plaid and The Devil’s Sporran either then.

Hello, welcome to the crack that is going to be my literary career, this post will be your guide.

Hunger Pangs you likely know about but here’s the origin post where @jeneelestrange straight up altered the career path of my life.

I’ll keep Public Displays of Confection short, but basically I came up with the pun and liked it so much I decided to turn it into a w/w romance about two bakers who fall in love while competing in a wedding cake contest. It’s so sweet it might actually give you diabetes. (Small humorous extract)


A Highlander’s Tail started because @thestarfishdancer is a horrible enabler and I couldn’t help from shitposting in response. Somehow I ended up being convinced I should write a thing called A Highlander’s Tail. The vague plot outline I have so far features a Scottish werewolf who becomes a retainer for a young English woman who is brought to Scotland after marrying her much older (also English) husband. (A common trope in awful American written Scottish romances.) As with most old Scottish houses however, there’s rumors abound of ghosties and goblins and things that go bump in the night. Which is absurd of course. They howl. 

Cailean Glenn—our resident werewolf, does his best to make her feel welcome in his own gruff way, but when her marriage starts to flounder and she starts straying farther and farther from home as a means of distraction, he realizes the secret of the (fictional) town of Braedhuin may be at risk of exposure. 

There’s all sorts of shenanigans and romantic guff, as well as fun little absurdities like were-sheep who herd themselves and win national prizes. As per @deliriumsetin‘s wishes Cailean’s best friend is a plucky Irishman, Ruaidhrí, who seems to own an Irish setter who is often conspicuous by his absence. The setter is a downright friendly fellow though.


The Devil’s Sporran is a lighthearted contemporary romance spurred on after an article denouncing romance literature as basically sin, used the hilarious phrase “Shirtless Satan” to describe men in kilts. Some people wanted it to be the actual Devil, but for now he’s just an ordinary good looking man with a smile that can make you think very bad things.

The main focus is on Kate, an American who is the maid of honor to her college bff’s wedding to be held in Scotland where both her and her beau are from. As the maid of honor she gets introduced to all kinds of quaint traditions she’s never before encountered which you don’t really have to deal with in America. Like trying to find a real silver sixpence, taking the bride out around the town on her Taking Out, the whole kerfuffle with trying to find matching dresses for three vastly different shaped women, and realizing at the last minute she’s expected to pick out a tea set for the bride despite being a coffee drinker her whole life, and what the fuck is the difference between Wedgwood and Denby.
And then there’s the groom’s best man Donnie…she feels someone should have warned her about him:

“What are you doing in here?” Kate demanded, scrabbling to cover herself with the ugly tartan shawl despite being fully dressed.

“I was next door,” Donnie informed her, eyes darting over the length of her, “looking at scabbards. Are you all right? You sounded upset.”

“I’m fine!” She protested, but even to her own ears it sounded shrill. Her shoulders slumped, defeated. “I can’t get out of this stupid dress. There’s too many buttons and the assistant has apparently run away and I can’t breathe.”

Donnie chuckled easily and the sound went curling straight down to Kate’s bare toes, hidden under the length of her skirt. It was offensive how charming this particular Scotsman could be, especially given how effortless he made it seem. She was almost certain she’d have hated anyone else for it.

“She’s helping a bride,” he informed her, “I heard crying so you’re on you’re own for a while. Let me?”

The question was so unexpected and softly spoken it threw her off guard, and Kate found herself compelled to turn as he stepped further into the changing room, pulling the curtain closed behind him. She’d half expected to be manhandled by rough hands, surprised when he began freeing her from the confines of the bodice with the utmost of gentleness.

“There now,” Donnie intoned soothingly as the dress began to slip away from her shoulders. “All better.”

“Thank you,” Kate murmured, drawing in shuddering breath, the ghost of his fingertips still hot against her spine.

“You look lovely, by the way, very,” he smiled tightly, catching her eye in the mirror, “honorable.

Kate snorted, and moved to hold the bodice in place against her chest, aware that a good portion of her naked back was now exposed to him. “I’m supposed to look like the bride. Some tradition about keeping the Devil away.”

“Hmm,“ Donnie hummed, the silk of her skirt trailing through his fingers as he leant in, smile broadening into a roguish grin over her shoulder. “Tell me, Kate, do you think it’s working?”

It’s even got fanart already, cutesy of @songofsunset:


Fifty Shades of Plaid started out again as a humorous shitpost when I was being salty over how Scottish history is often romanticized to make us look like tragic heroes, rather than the victims of class oppression, and cultural warfare. 

It’s since turned into a serious novel which follows the standard Scottish romance style but is actually a visceral denouncement of the whole trope of Scottish romances written by outsiders with little to no regard for our heritage beyond “men in kilts look good” (a lighthearted sample).

It’s the story about a wealthy weaver and his daughter acquiring land in Scotland, after buying out a weaving town, intending to produce the cloth for much lower wages, and selling it at a far more expensive price on the Royal Mile in Edinburgh after it became fashionable to wear again in 1822 after King George IV felt like playing dress up, despite the kilt having been banned for actual Scottish people to wear for almost four decades for being considered an act of treason. Hence the title, fifty shades of plaid.

The main characters at present are called Elizabeth and Alasdair, and it will likely be years before I am done writing this. But it’ll get there, one day.

I also have various other writing projects going on, but these were the ones inspired by tumblr. I am hoping to churn one out each year, though in what order I don’t quite know.

And that my doves, is why I have no fucking time on my hands lmao.

saiki kusuo/hp crossover where saiki is reincarnated as harry potter with all his memories intact, and the “power the Dark Lord knows not” is just saiki’s ungodly arsenal of psychic powers. 

points: 

  • the dursleys are the worst kind of bullshit saiki has ever seen, and saiki either a) puts an end to it within the first few days, or b) just straight up leaves, no one finds him until he’s twelve and it’s time for him to attend hogwarts 
  • “you have been accepted into the hogwarts school of w–” [saiki incinerates the letter in his hand and goes back to reading his book] 
  • saiki’s greatest ambition in life is to live a perfectly normal, unassuming, peaceful, boring life. an ambition so great it immediately lands him in slytherin. 
  • saiki finds himself saddled with every awful “chosen one” trope that has ever graced the earth. he thought being the protagonist of a gag manga was bad but this is worse
    • this is so much worse, he can’t even play along with the narrative anymore. he is going to turn this into a comedy if it kills him
    • saiki surreptitiously solving the problems of everyone around him. finding neville’s toad. making sure people’s potions don’t explode. dragging draco malfoy’s broom back down to earth when he tries to show off during the first broom riding class. saiki is not going to tolerate any bullshit and he most certainly is not going to tolerate anyone trying to go into the third floor corridor
    • and you know what, since quirrell and voldemort are apparently sharing a body (which – how, actually, it’s so disgusting he doesn’t want to know–) he might as well take care of the problem within the first week of school 
    • voldemort shows up again second year. WHAT THE FUCVK
  • all of his dorm mates are intolerable, and saiki very quickly figures out a system where he will pretend to go to sleep in his dorm, but then he just teleports to an unused hufflepuff dorm and enjoys himself greatly on his own. a triumph. a triumph slightly ruined by the house elves knowing he’s there, but a triumph nonetheless. 
    • “but it’s impossible to apparate within the hogwarts castle!!” saiki stares hermione dead in the eye and then teleports anyways 
  • saiki is very carefully mediocre in every single one of his classes in an attempt to kill any notoriety that comes along with the name “harry potter.” except potions class, because snape always gives him a far worse grade than he deserves and saiki is a mean and spiteful soul. saiki makes a point to be the best god damn potions student that snape has ever had
  • fred & george weasley catch saiki doing something ridiculous with his powers, and they’ve been bothering saiki ever since. saiki is full of regret 
  • fourth yr: saiki stays far far far away from the triwizard tournament. he is perfectly happy when cedric is elected, and claps enthusiastically. the goblet of fire turns blue. it spits out his name. saiki is so furious the goblet of fire cracks in half 
  • but the most important part of this au is 
  • saiki with a wand 
  • he doesn’t even need a wand he’s just pretending to use it 
  • someone: augh, this levitating charm is so difficult! how does anyone do it?!
    saiki
  • this au is 9x better if you imagine that saiki doesn’t even have magic powers – he just has psychic powers, and he’s very good at pretending he has magic. except transfiguration, everyone thinks he’s a bad student cause he has never done a transfiguration spell in his life – but hermione is convinced he’s some kind of secret genius at wandless magic because she caught him levitating a book to himself in the library once. saiki has deliberately failed every magic task appointed to him in front of her since. hermione is convinced saiki is spiting is spiting her specifically by not doing well in class. she’s right 
  • EVEN MORE HILARIOUS TO CONSIDER: saiki doesn’t even bother pretending he has magic, he just shows up to hogwarts and never says anything and never talks to anyone else, he turns in impeccable classwork and homework, but he never performs a single spell because he doesn’t see the point. it gets to the point where the teachers are genuinely worried he might be…. perhaps… a squib? is he a squib? 
    • saiki figures it would be really troublesome to let this go on any longer, but he is also extremely against saying anything out loud ever, and he is also extremely against showing any wordless or wandless magic because who knows what kind of attention he’ll get then 
    • cue incident in class where a student’s spell goes wrong, badly, and everything is in chaos, and saiki is so tired he decides, fuck it, he does not want to deal with this today, and he uses his psychokinesis to forcibly subdue everything that is going wrong. he’s in the corner of the classroom, so he thinks he’s safe & no one will notice – but nope. professor flitwick noticed. professor flitwick is staring at him with starry eyes. god damn it 
    • saiki briefly considers erasing flitwick’s memory of the event, but, well, if flitwick tells the other teachers about what he saw then no one will wonder if saiki is a squib anymore. probably. 
    • but you know what would be great? if everyone thought saiki was a squib and he got fucking chosen by the goblet of fire. everyone riots 
  • there are so many good things that could happen when you combine saiki’s deadpan self + sheer OP ability with the entire ridiculous hp universe and i love it
this is real

Adrienette/Ladynoir reveal fluff

Rating: G+/T
Genre: Friendship, Romance
Characters: [Adrien Agreste/Chat Noir and Marinette Dupain-Cheng/Ladybug], Chloé Bourgeois/Queen Bee, Alya Césaire
Words: 4,563

“Adrien Agreste has had it up to his eyeballs with Marinette Dupain-Cheng. He wants to catapult her across Paris, serenade her on piano, and kiss her so hard that neither of them can breathe.”

In which Adrien finds out and is not quite sure what to do with that information.

AO3 | FFN

Adrien Agreste has had it up to his eyeballs with Marinette Dupain-Cheng. He wants to catapult her across Paris, serenade her on piano, and kiss her so hard that neither of them can breathe.

At first, his wild, racing brain seems completely unreasonable until he lands on the third thought. Because firstly, Marinette is wonderful and sweet and gentle and he’s been so oblivious to her feelings all this time and now he can’t even take his eyes off of her. Secondly, he’s been wildly in love with her since the first time they met and he doesn’t mean the time where she saw him trying to remove gum from her seat.

He’s talking about crashing into each other headlong at full speed and subsequently becoming tied up in her yo-yo. Because Marinette Dupain-Cheng is Ladybug and he’s not sure how he has missed it for so long.

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Alicia is P.O.T.U.S - Eric Bittle

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7

President’s son such a snore VP’s daughter reaches for bottom shelf bore-deaux? (Rookie Rag)

_/ * \_

His phone buzzes constantly from Camilla.

[Cammy] Told you they’d call me out for drinking cheap wine

[Jack] They called me a bore too

[Cammy] Pfft, you’re hot you don’t need to be interesting.

[Jack] Thanks…

[Cammy] You’re not boring

[Jack] Getting a little deep in there eh?

[Cammy] It’s a waste of a pun that’s all I’m saying.

[Cammy] *Heart emoji* Love you.

Georgia is the first face he sees when he opens the door to the dining room so he doesn’t temper his smile in time to see his mother step in front of her with her own stately one.

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im tired anyway here’s some more time travel fic

Everything goes the way it does in the books, except that occasionally someone looks up and Neil isn’t there and the air smells a bit like burning, but then they blink and he’s right back in front of them. The Ravens switch divisions. Neil and the monsters go to Eden’s Twilight. Neil pays someone to knock him out. He hitchhikes back to Palmetto. He tells Andrew his half-truths and whole lies. They go on Kathy Ferdinand’s show. He fights Riko. Andrew offers Neil his protection.

It goes the same. Sometimes Neil travels in time and space, sometimes only in time. Usually to somewhere around Andrew, except he hates Andrew, so for the most part, Neil stays away, even when Andrew is an angry-looking kid, even when Andrew is a calm-looking adult.

Until one day, when he gets whisked into a bedroom in the middle of the night and the figure on the bed stirs.

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A Mutual Agreement // A Phan One-Shot

Genre: fluff, domestic fluff

Words: 2.6k

Relationship status: together

Warnings: alcohol, swearing, mentions of sex

Summary: Those nights when Dan and Phil have nothing going on are the best nights. / A.k.a. an unnecessarily fluffy fic.

A/N: This is in celebration of getting 2000 followers! I hope you all enjoy this insanely fluffy fic that I wrote at 11:30 last night lol 

I might make a part 2 to this sometime in the future (and you’ll understand why when you read the fic :D)

I hope you enjoy, and once again, thank you for 2000 followers!

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I Am An Alpha Ch 17: Pick and Choose

Sorry they are not able to make it out of the house tonight but maybe tomorrow night! Hope you guys enjoy! Let me know how you feel about it!

“I’m fine, really,” I give them a big smile, only half lying but we can all hear my stomach gurgling.

“Little wolf I am so sorry,” Luhan squeezes my hand.

“Hyung, I told it’s fine, I’m fine! I’ve even bad things in the forest many times, I have a strong stomach.”

Kyungsoo grumbles curses under his breath by the stove. He is still fuming with anger, which is why Chanyeol and Luhan are basically hiding behind me to hopefully avoid the youngers’ wrath. I notice that for some reason they find him more terrifying than some of the older boys. Kyungsoo, Minseok, and obviously Kris are the top dogs here. They seem to be able to insight fear into the others with a single look. But they are actually some of the few I find almost absolute comfort with.

“Who pissed Hyung off so early this morning?” Jongin yawns as he joins us in the kitchen. He is the only one that really worries me, his unpredictable personality keeps me on edge, along with the youngest, Sehun, but his mood swings seem to be less dramatic.

“Luhan cooked Insoo-ya breakfast,” Chanyeol explains, his large hand rubs circles on my back.

Jongin’s eyes go wide, “Really? Is she okay?” Him and the youngest wolf rush towards me, I jump back, falling off of my stool and into Chanyeol’s embrace.

“I’m fine,” I gulp standing on my own two feet and straighten my shoulders.

“Give it a few minutes, you will feel it,” Sehun grimaces.

“We are trying to avoid that,” Kyungsoo snaps, turning around with a slice of toast topped with a fried on a plate in his hand. “Here little wolf, eat this, be careful it’s hot.”

I accept the plate but hesitate returning to my seat with so many people hovering around it. Another joins our growing group, it’s Baekhyun, who just like Chanyeol, bounces into the room. He completely ignores his brothers and comes to me, though he is excited he learned his lesson and approaches me slowly. “Good morning little wolf, did you sleep well?”  

“Um, I slept well, I’m still not used to sleeping in a bed, so it’s strange, but nice.”

He nods, finally looking to his brothers who are standing less than a foot away. “There are way too many people,” He decides, grabbing my hand and pulling me around the island to stand near Kyungsoo.

I whisper a quiet thank you and slowly begin eating the food Kyungsoo so graciously made for me. They all watch me with small smiles, Kyungsoo strokes the top of my head, brushing my stray locks out of my face. I take this time to slyly look each of them over, taking in their black ripped jeans and sweatshirts. Than there is Kyungsoo who is wearing a nice gray sweater with a nice pair of jeans, I try to hide my smile behind my toast as I eye him up a bit more. So cute.

“Little wolf,” Minseok sing songs as he comes in, a small stack of clothes in his hands, “This is going to have to do. I found some of my older clothes from before I matured fully.”

“Those must be pretty old,” Baekhyun snickers.

The oldest pushes him out of the way and offers me a hand, “Come one little wolf, you are going to need to change.”

“She has a little left, give her a minute,” Kyungsoo swats the older’s hand away.

I shake my head and shove the last of it into my mouth, cheeks puffed out I take Minseok’s hand.

“Ya! Be careful!” Baekhyun cups my cheeks, “Spit it out! You could choke!”

I chew as fast as I can, trying to ignore the horrible faces I must be making, it only takes me a few seconds to swallow the massive bite and smile, “All done!”

“You seem to be in a rush,” Chanyeol chuckles.

“Luhan hyung is going to show me his car!”

“We are going into the city for the first time and you are excited about a car?” Baekhyun cocks his head with amusement.

“One step at a time,” I muse.

“Okay, lets get you ready than, come on before anyone else comes down for your attention.” Minseok pulls me past all his whining brothers and up the stairs. But there we find another, looking more stylish than his brothers, is Tao in leather pants and an interesting looking jacket with patches all over it. I find myself biting my lip at the sight of him, wow.

He beams at me, taking away a bit of his sexiness and replacing it with that cute smile, “Good morning little wolf!”

“Good morning Hyung, you look so handsome today,” I return his smile.

“How do I look?” Kris clears his throat at the top of the stairs.

I click my tongue, “Wow.” He fixes his tie that matches his all black suit that screams alpha.

“I’ll take that as a compliment,” He confidently walks down the stairs, stopping next to me to place a soft kiss on my lips, stunning the two men around us. I enjoy the warmth that spreads through my body at the small intimate action, but the others obviously do not once the shock wears off and they suddenly snarl at their head alpha. Kris just chuckles, amused by their jealousy, “I will see you down stairs.”

Minseok continues to glare at his brother as he descends the stairs until I shake his arm, “Hyung, I thought we were rushing!” He snaps out of his daze and continues to walk me up the stairs but stops a moment later when he notices Tao stepping with us.

“I want to come too,” Tao decides.

Minseok raises his brows at him, “Really?”

“Insoo wants me to come, right?” The younger grabs my other and stares up at me with face too cute to say no to.

“Of course, but it is just going to me going in to the bathroom to change and me coming out.”

“That’s fine, I just want to come.”

Minseok huffs but continues to pull me up the stairs with Tao in tow. He leads me to his bedroom, the smell of coffee is all over the place. His amazing scent pulls me dipper into the room, for a brief moment I consider jumping into his bed, debating briefly if I would get in trouble but I stop myself. I let him lead me to his bathroom, he flips on the light and hands me his clothes before closing the door. I pull on the too big sweatpants and sweatshirt, feeling like a child in their clothing yet again. Looking in the mirror I grimace at the sight of me. How can they look at me with such sweet eyes when I constantly look like this? I shake my head, not even taking the time to wonder why, it’s the bond, that is all. I wash my face quickly before deciding I need to put my hair up but I have no pony tails.

“Hyung?” I call peeking my head out of the bathroom, finding them only a yard away from the door just waiting. “Holy shit!” I slam the door in surprise.

“Did you just curse?” Tao muses.

“Yea! You guys gave me a fucking heart attack! I’m going to fucking curse!” I snap with my cheeks puffed and my arms crossed over my chest.

“She just cursed at us,” Minseok chokes out before laughing. I open the door once again to find both of them on the floor this time, dying of laughter.

“Ya! It’s not funny!”

“It’s hilarious! You are so cute and here you are cursing at us,” Tao rolls back and forth on the floor.

I stomp pass them out of Minseok’s room into the hall and down the stairs. Half way down I see Jongdae reaching the bottom, he stops and looks over his shoulder at me, “Good morning Soo. Where are you coming from?”

“Minseok hyung’s room, he let me borrow some clothes so we can go out.”

He nods as he scans me, “And why the long face?”

“They laughed at me,” I pout.

His brow furrows, “What? Why would they do that?”

“Because I cursed at them.”

“You what?” His lips quirk up into a smile.

“They scared me and I cursed and they started laughing.”

I watch his face contort as he tries not to laugh himself, “I’m sorry but that would be adorable, I would imagine I would be chuckling too.”

“It’s not funny,” I deadpan.

He does his best to keep himself together, “You are right, I’m sorry Soo, would you like to walk to the kitchen with me? We should just be waiting on Hyung and Tao.”

I nod, “Hey Hyung.”

“Yes?”

“Catch!” I suddenly jump at him, half expecting him to miss me but thankfully he catches me without hesitation. His arms wrap around me holding me tightly against his solid body. I can’t help myself from wrapping my arms around his neck holding his just as tight when his scent reaches my brain.

“You smell delicious,” He hums.

“You smell like anew book.”

He is thrown off by my response but not enough to pull away, he chuckles, “A new book? That’s exciting.”

“I like new books. Namjoon hyung got me a few after we were free, the thought they were the most amazing things in the world.” I smile, “Your scent makes me think of when we were first freed, it makes me so happy.” I snuggle deeper into his embrace, enjoying his warmth and the old memories his scent reminds me off.

“Why is everyone else allowed to touch you today?” Tao grumbles at the top of the stairs.

“Because I’m not being an ass,” Jongdae snaps back, still not letting me go.

Minseok snickers, “Since when are you not an ass?”

“Ya,” Tao tugs on Jongdae’s arms that are wrapped around me, “We need to go, let her go.”

“You guys go a head, I’m enjoying a moment with my mate.”

“That would have been me if you wouldn’t have tagged along,” Minseok kicks Tao’s leg before stomping away towards the kitchen. When both of them are gone Jongdae takes one more deep breath before pulling away to look at my face.

He cups my cheeks, his thumbs stroke them gently, “So beautiful,” He hums.

“I’m a complete mess still, I couldn’t even find a pony tail to get my hair somewhat under control,” I sigh resting my head against his chest. I jump when I feel him running his fingers through my hair but I don’t stop him. A moment later my hair is being pulled out of my face and into a nice bun on top of my head. I look up at him confused.

“I thought you might need one so I brought it just in case.”

“Thank you.”

“You are welcome,” He surprises me by leaning down a placing a soft kiss on my lips like Kris had done earlier. “Sorry but they were calling me,” He apologizes with no shame.

I bite my lip, “Well I guess thank you for answering.”

Every Picture Tells A Story

You and Me and The Bottle Makes Three: Noctis | Prompto | Gladio | Ignis

This marks your third glass of champagne.

The first and second were both a toast to the newly-weds. As you watch the bride and groom—both your dearest best friends in all of Eos—soak on each other’s love and dance their fairytale evening away, you cannot contain but share their bursting happiness. Finally, after all this time, they’ve realized that they are each other’s match—the Mr. Darcy to their Elizabeth Bennet, the Han Solo to their Princess Leia. Finally, you get to witness that true love really does exist, and that the very people you hold close to your heart get to bask in that magic. Finally, you get to believe…

Well, a skeptic like you wouldn’t go that far.

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anonymous asked:

Request? Isaac crushing on a bad girl and the pack knowing about it. Half of them encourage Isaac to ask her out (Scott) but the other half make fun of him bc she's too hardcore for him (Stiles). Make her bestie Danny bc I miss him :(((

Musical Inspiration: “Dark Horse” by Katy Perry

Pairing: Isaac x Female Reader

Isaac slams his locker shut and turns to head to class when he sees you walking down the hallway toward him. Well, past him.

He sighs as he watches you go by laughing with Danny as the two of you make fun of Jackson for doing something stupid over the weekend.

A hand on his shoulder draws his attention away and he turns to glance at Scott. He’d already known it was his best friend. Scott’s the only one that gets it, wanting someone no one else thinks you belong with. Anyone else would have been laughing at Isaac’s crush right now and throwing it in his face how different the two of you are. Well, except maybe Erica but he’s pretty sure she’s just rooting for him because she thinks he’d be hilariously awkward about asking you out.

“Hey,” Isaac tells his friend somberly, glancing back at you one more time as you walk away from him.

“Dude, you should just do it already,” Scott says giving his shoulder a comforting squeeze as he follows Isaac’s gaze. “Just ask her out.”

Isaac sighs. He wants to. God, does he want to. But he’d almost rather spend the rest of his life pining than risk a rejection from you. Anyone else he could recover from but not you. “Maybe,” he answers grudgingly. “I’m probably not her type.”

“Who’re we talking about?” Stiles asks as he saunters up.

Scott’s already rolling his eyes because he knows what’s coming, just as well as Isaac does.

“No one,” Isaac says, trying to avoid what he knows is coming.

“Oh,” Stiles hums. “So, Isaac when (y/n) sees him?” He’s already laughing before he’s even gotten the quip out.

Isaac gives him a flat look and walks away but he can hear Scott smack Stiles upside the head.

“Ouch,” Stiles complains. “What was that for?”

“We’re his friends, we should be encouraging him,” Scott scolds.

“To ask out a girl he has no chance with?” Stiles asks incredulously. “(Y/n) is way too hardcore for him. She’s not just the bad girl that skips class and sneaks out to see her boyfriends. She totally beat the shit out of that guy from Dalton that wouldn’t take no for an answer at Danny’s party last summer.”

Isaac strains his ears extra hard to hear Scott’s reply to that. “Doesn’t matter. Maybe Isaac is exactly her type, we don’t know. And neither will he if he never tries.”

Isaac bites his lip and continues walking, letting his friends’ chatter fade into the background.

*

So, he’s decided. He’s gonna do it. He’s gonna ask you out.

He looks for you after school, trying to get it over with before he loses his nerve. He finds Danny and Jackson sitting on the front steps but you’re not with them.

“Uh, Danny, hey,” Isaac approaches, shoulders hunched up to his ears, hands buried in his pockets. “Do you know where (y/n) is?”

Jackson snorts. “OH my god,” he scoffs like he knows exactly where this is going, and he finds it hilarious.

Danny elbows Jackson in the side. “Be nice,” he scolds with a little smile, because when is Danny not smiling a little. He turns his gaze to Isaac. “She had to skip out early today,” he informs. “Do you want me to tell her you’re looking for her?”

“Yeah,” Isaac says but then shakes his head. “Wait, no. Um. Just—“

Yeah. No. Wait. Um…” Jackson mocks him, before fixing him with a glare. “Doesn’t matter what you want, loser. I’m gonna tell her anyway, so get lost.”

Isaac shakes his head at Jackson’s behavior but listens and walks away. He doesn’t see how you or Danny can hang out with that jerk.

Well, it seems he’ll know soon if he really is a nobody in your eyes.

*

He’s on his way to Stiles’ jeep the next day when someone calls out behind him.

“Hey, Isaac!”

He turns and there you are, looking all bad-ass and gorgeous. “Hi,” he breathes.

“I heard you were looking for me.”

“Oh, yeah, I—“ He stops speaking, looking around the parking lot. He feels the weight of all of his friends’ stares from every corner of the lot. Suddenly, he feels a lot less sure he can do this. “I just— wanted to ask, um,” his eyes search frantically for some clue to a question he can ask and his gaze rests on the helmet in your hands. “I wanted to ask where you got your bike.”

“Oh,” you seem surprised by that question. “Dante’s over on Ninth.”

“Oh, cool,” Isaac nods like he’s actually heard of the place.

“You thinking of getting one?” You ask, seeming interested in his existence for once.

“Uh, yeah. Maybe.”

“Well, my Agusta handles really well,” you tell him, licking your lips and glancing over at it across the lot. “I totally recommend it. Do you… wanna go for a ride?”

He feels his eyes widen and his mouth fall open a bit. “Y-Yeah. Yeah, sure.”

He follows you over to your motorbike and watches you straddle it with confident ease. He stumbles trying to get on behind you and hopes you haven’t noticed as he settles himself up against your back.

“Hey, Joey,” you call out to one of your other friends. He appears to be about to get in a truck with someone else but he pulls himself back out to see what you want. “Since your bike is in the shop, can we borrow your helmet?”

He sighs heavily and gets out of the truck to walk over helmet in hand, eyeing Isaac the whole time. “Yeah, sure.” He doesn’t actually sound all that sure, but hands over the helmet anyway.

“Thanks, man,” you say, slapping him on the arm as you pass it back.

Isaac puts the helmet on, making sure it feels snug and then wraps his arms around your waist as you bring the beast to life.

He clings to you the whole ride and it’s quite possibly the best experience of his entire life. The freedom of feeling like he’s flying coupled with the girl he’s crazy about. It’s enough to give him a little of the courage he was lacking earlier.

When you pull back into the school parking lot, he climbs off the bike and takes off the helmet. “That was… really great.”

“I know, right?” You pop off your helmet too, hanging it on your handle bars and grin, patting your bike, “I love this thing.”

“Hey, um, do you wanna go out sometime?” Isaac blurts, and then feels awkward about it. Here he’s been squished up against your back for the past twenty minutes and now he’s asking you out. That’s gotta be kinda weird.

You study him for a second and a knowing grin takes over your face. “You’re not planning on getting a bike, are you?”

“N-no. Not really,” he admits, handing over your friend’s helmet. “I just… kinda panicked at the last second and latched onto whatever I saw first. Which. Was your helmet.” He gestures to your own helmet. “Which lead to asking about your bike.”

You take the extra helmet from him, holding it in your lap as you stare at him with a grin that’s making him a little nervous. “Yeah, okay,” you say abruptly.

“Yeah, okay I’m a huge dork or?”

“Yeah, okay I’ll go out with you,” you laugh. “Although. You are a bit of a dork.”

He could be embarrassed about it but you wink at him when you say it. Still, he ducks his head with a nervous laugh. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be,” you assure him. “Dorks happen to be my type.”

Take that, Stilinski. Who’s laughing now??