doe eyed boy

YOI Fan Rec Friday

I’m FINALLY back! Thank you to those who rec’d so many fics while I was away! If you don’t see your rec here, don’t worry! I send it in again for next week :) I randomly choose 30 fics for each week!

Rec’d by @bookwormpanda :
with these things i’ll never say by missmichellebelle, Gen, 1.8k
Yuuri has been Victor’s PA for well over a year now, but no matter how many times Victor has told him otherwise, he still leaves actual handwritten notes for Victor to find.

✧·゚: *✧·゚:*    *:·゚✧*:·゚✧

Rec’d by anonymous:
I’ve Wanted This Before by undermyumbreon, Explicit, 3.3k
Yuuri is finding that it is becoming easier for him to be open about his desires with Victor. When he reveals that there’s a part of himself that he wants to explore, Victor offers a solution.

✧·゚: *✧·゚:*    *:·゚✧*:·゚✧

Rec’d by @themosthappyambivalent :
Never Look Away by gabapple, mamodewberry, Mature, 152k (WIP)
Everything Viktor knows and loves is tangled up in the world of competitive skating- a world that, for him, is quickly coming to an end. Standing at the precipice of the inevitable, he must decide how his tale unfolds: should he retire into quiet obscurity? Allow himself to be eaten alive by the younger, more vicious competition? …Or risk it all on a struggling, but passionate, skater halfway across the world, who may prove to be the inspiration, life, and love that Viktor’s been missing all this time?

✧·゚: *✧·゚:*    *:·゚✧*:·゚✧

Rec’d by anonymous:
against the dying of the light by the__magpie, Teen, 2.4k (WIP)
The facts were these: Yuuri Katsuki - twenty-four years, seventeen days, twenty-one hours, and three minutes old; pie maker by day and dead-waking private investigator also by day - has just brought Victor Nikiforov - Grand Prix Final winner; childhood best friend; first kiss - back to life, mostly on accident. Though they can never touch, or Victor will go back to being dead, they can team up to solve the mystery of Victor’s murder and, along the way, learn how to make this unexpected relationship work.

✧·゚: *✧·゚:*    *:·゚✧*:·゚✧

Rec’d by anonymous:
Inosculation by lazrbrain, Teen, 11k (WIP)
Viktor is motionless, life consisting of his shop and his dog. Yuuri is running, trapped by mistakes he cannot change. Both of them are desperate for more. They find it in each other.

✧·゚: *✧·゚:*    *:·゚✧*:·゚✧

Rec’d by anonymous:
To the Moon by JMonCheri, Teen, 17k ***Major Character Death
Viktor Nikiforov’s last, literal dying wish is to get a gold medal. Yuri and Otabek figured it would be an easy goal to accomplish, until they figure out that Nikiforov was an Olympic figure skating champion with already a truck ton of other golden medals.

✧·゚: *✧·゚:*    *:·゚✧*:·゚✧

Rec’d by anonymous, anonymous, and anonymous:
Pigeon Alley by DiAnna44, Teen, 31k
What’s meant to be will always find a way. Victor and Yuuri? They’re meant to be.

✧·゚: *✧·゚:*    *:·゚✧*:·゚✧

Rec’d by anonymous and anonymous:
Tangle and Wind and Beguile by Mythmaker, Mature, 5.6k (WIP)
Lesson of the day: don’t let strange samovars into your apartment or doe-eyed Japanese boys might pop out and grant you wishes. …No wait.

✧·゚: *✧·゚:*    *:·゚✧*:·゚✧

Rec’d by anonymous:
yuuri!!! on fire (the superhero au) by hinatella, Teen, 42k (WIP)
A detailed exposé of what working with an ex-villain is like, as told by a very distraught Yuuri Katsuki. (P.S.: it isn’t the fact that he’s an ex-villain that Yuuri is close to losing his mind.)

✧·゚: *✧·゚:*    *:·゚✧*:·゚✧

Rec’d by @phoenixwaller :
Broken Vases by Aliferous_Sin, Explicit, 22k
Devastated after a performance, Viktor Nikiforov seeks isolation in a darkened closet to bear his loss alone again but discovers that something more than mops are witness to his pain. Will truth find victory in the dark or is pure honesty too much weight for love to thrive under?

✧·゚: *✧·゚:*    *:·゚✧*:·゚✧

Rec’d by @faithsoprano :
Never Too Late by Soprano, Gen, 15k (WIP)
Victor Nikiforov was not allowed to pursue skating as a child. In the end he still became a star, even if not quite the kind he had wanted to be. His dream, however, never truly died, and going into his 30s, he decided to enter the world of adult figure skating, with the help of his new coach, Katsuki Yuuri.

✧·゚: *✧·゚:*    *:·゚✧*:·゚✧

Rec’d by anonymous:
That’s What They Say (When We’re Together) by Lightningcatters (Phoeliac), Teen, 2.7k (WIP)
In the wake of her divorce from Yakov, Lilia ran off to Japan and became Yuuri’s coach alongside Minako. She returns to Russia with a challenge for Yakov, who’s become increasingly concerned about Victor’s lack of motivation.Victor and Yuuri ruin everybody’s plans by falling in love instead of becoming rivals.

✧·゚: *✧·゚:*    *:·゚✧*:·゚✧

Rec’d by anonymous:
Where the Cliff Greets the Sea by RobotSquid, Mature, 27k (WIP)
For years, Victor and his crew of pirates have been the bane of the coast, unmatched and elusive. With little left to satisfy him, he visits the small seaside town of Hasetsu, drawn by its simple charms. Yuuri lives a quiet life sewing and tailoring dresses with the unattainable dream of designing gowns of his own. Victor sees him working through the window of the dress shop, and decides to stay.

✧·゚: *✧·゚:*    *:·゚✧*:·゚✧

Rec’d by @trenazlore :
Namaste by Katri Jardine (heyanapau), Teen, 10k
Phichit drags Yuuri to a yoga class, but when the instructor walks in Yuuri can’t imagine himself anywhere else.

✧·゚: *✧·゚:*    *:·゚✧*:·゚✧

Rec’d by anonymous:
stalemate by silencedmockingjay, Teen, 3.4k (WIP)
When Viktor, famous Youtuber and gaming prodigy, gets beaten in a simple straightforward game of chess by someone who calls himself “Eros”, Viktor decides to find him to prove he’s better - and hopefully meet up with him in real life, because hey. Someone who can beat the person with the highest IQ in the world - so far - has to be hot, right?

✧·゚: *✧·゚:*    *:·゚✧*:·゚✧

Rec’d by anonymous:
A Change of Paths by RoseusJaeger, Teen, 7.9k (WIP)
After losing in the first round of the Pokemon League and finding out his first pokemon from his childhood has died, Katsuki Yuuri announces his retirement from professional battling and retires to his family onsen/pokemon day care. What he doesn’t expect is for five-time Pokemon Contest ribbon winner, Victor Nikiforov, to show up and insist on becoming his coach in the world of contests in exchange for learning how to battle.

✧·゚: *✧·゚:*    *:·゚✧*:·゚✧

Rec’d @slash-bae
I Need A Hero by malchikelf, MrMich, Teen, 17k
When Yuuri was a kid, all he ever wanted was to be a hero; but his Quirk wasn’t good enough for hero work, and even though he had friends and family encouraging him, he still gave up on his dream. Until one day, when the Iron Prince, the world’s number one pro hero, sees Yuuri save someone’s life and immediately drags him into the world of heroes - and unfortunately for Yuuri, Victor doesn’t take ‘no’ for an answer.

✧·゚: *✧·゚:*    *:·゚✧*:·゚✧

Rec’d by anonymous:
Savior of the Night by Captain_Winter, Teen, 22k (WIP)
A single Yuuri Katsuki gets an invitation to a childhood friend’s wedding. After pressure from his family to find someone, he may have accidentally told them that he has a long-term boyfriend that he’s going to bring to the wedding. Oops. Yuuri’s forced to do what he never thought he would do… hire someone from an escort service and hope for the best. Enter the most beautiful, suave person in the world, who Yuuri hires to pose as his boyfriend for the wedding. Desperate times call for desperate measures, but who would have thought that desperate measures would have brought him a savior?

✧·゚: *✧·゚:*    *:·゚✧*:·゚✧

Rec’d by @nekoclair :
Open wounds, closed heart by nekoclair, Teen, 5.8k (WIP)
Sometimes it hurts. It’s not a physical pain, but the marks that they leave are real, too real, and it express itself in the most diverse forms. The heavy breathing, the sleepless nights, the bad habit of thinking too much about matters that should be trivial, and so many other symptoms chase after the young writer who, no longer enduring his own routine, decides to accept any help. Yuri Katsuki opens his arms and welcomes the opportunity to change, and to learn how to live with his worst and most insistent companion: his anxiety.

✧·゚: *✧·゚:*    *:·゚✧*:·゚✧

Rec’d by anonymous:
Love In Times Of War And Peace by thegrimshapeofyoursmile, Teen, 5.7k (WIP)
It is the year 1904. In an attempt of de-escalating matters with Imperial Russia, translator Yuuri Katsuki accompanies his father to St. Petersburg in a diplomatic mission. However, he certainly did not expect to meet a man as stunning and peculiar as tsarevich Yuri Georgieviech’s bodyguard, Polkovnik Viktor Ivanovich Nikiforov - and even less he expected to fall in love when war is threatening the country.

✧·゚: *✧·゚:*    *:·゚✧*:·゚✧

Rec’d by @nathanchcn :
Viktor Nikiforov Does NOT Have a Smurf Kink by FigureSgayts, Teen, 2.3k
Viktor loses a bet to Yuuri, leaving him at the mercy of his fiancé in a bathroom with hair dye.

✧·゚: *✧·゚:*    *:·゚✧*:·゚✧

Rec’d by anonymous:
The Unknown Unknown by opalish, Teen, 7.4k
Yuuri never meant to become a supervillain. These things just happen to him.

✧·゚: *✧·゚:*    *:·゚✧*:·゚✧

Rec’d by anonymous and anonymous:
let’s go steal an ice rink by FullmetalChords, Mature, 35k (WIP)
Insurance investigator Victor Nikiforov has spent the last decade of his life working for ISU, a corporation that caters to the 1%. His work brings him into contact with several of the world’s most notorious thieves: hacker Phichit Chulanont, infiltration specialist Yuri Plisetsky, retrieval specialist Otabek Altin, and a master grifter and con man known as Katsuki Yuuri. Yuuri in particular catches his eye at a banquet in Geneva, kicking off a whirlwind romance between thief and investigator.

✧·゚: *✧·゚:*    *:·゚✧*:·゚✧

Rec’d by anonymous:
cancel your reservations by renaissance, renaissance_moving, Teen, 5.4k
Yuuri is a college student conducting private fencing lessons for a handsome, rich, and mysterious student. Viktor is not learning to fence because he does medieval reenactments.

✧·゚: *✧·゚:*    *:·゚✧*:·゚✧

Rec’d by anonymous:
Your eyes could drown a city by Proserpineceres, Gen, 4.2k
“Ocean, beautiful, selfish Ocean, wrap me up in foam, I am your betrothed. You who returns to the earth only the boats and the men you want to give back, give me the gold of the sumptuous sinking vessels, give me their treasures, bring in my town handsome sailors that I shall gaze upon. But, oh, don’t be jealous, I’ll give them back to you, one after the other.”

✧·゚: *✧·゚:*    *:·゚✧*:·゚✧

Rec’d by anonymous:
With All My Heart by Hevheia, Explicit, 40k (WIP)
Once upon a time there was a prince and if you stole his heart, you would live forever. But the prince would only have three days left.

✧·゚: *✧·゚:*    *:·゚✧*:·゚✧

Rec’d by anonymous:
Into the Deep by Ars_Matron, Mature, 74k (WIP)
For five years the mysterious pirate ship, the Eros, has tormented the eastern seas. The most heinous of their crimes, the abduction of omegas from their very homes. Some merely children.Viktor Nikiforov, captain of the Russian military’s fastest ship the Agape, has dedicated his life to finding the infamous pirate pack. Rescuing the omegas that he can, and avenging those beyond his reach.


Thank you for all your recs! ₍₍ (̨̡ ‾᷄♡‾᷅ )̧̢ ₎₎

The amazing “YOI Fan Rec Friday” banner was created by @omgkatsudonplease! I love them a lot, check out their blog!

Accidental Saving

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader

Word Count: 1.4k

Warnings: Spider-Man: Homecoming spoilers, fire, near death situations (??)

Summary: Part 2 of “Accidental Flirting”, uploaded by popular demand. 

Tags: @fluffyavengers, @onyxbunny22, @thebittygirl, @chillcastaway, @evstor01, @tgwltw, @macfullyloaded17

A/N: Wooo, here y’all go!! A huge thank you to the very sweet anon who helped me come up with this idea. You rock, anon. Love ya. Also, I’m pretty proud of this. :-) Enjoy!!

Part One


Needless to say, after that encounter, things weren’t the same between you and Peter. At school, during the classes you two shared, you began talking more and more. He also started visiting you at your locker in the mornings.

To everyone else, including both your friends and Peter’s, it was obvious that you had both had huge feelings for each other. It was kind of like a waiting game at that point, everyone anticipating when one of you would finally get the guts to make a move and ask the other out.

It had been a particularly slow night at the bodega. You worked the counter, though during the times when there weren’t any customers in the store, you occupied yourself by studying for Chemistry with your textbook behind the register. Flipping through the pages aimlessly, you could feel a headache coming on from all the reading you’d been doing.

It was getting pretty late, actually, but you had promised your father earlier that you would close up for him. He was busy doing inventory in the back, and he’d given you strict instructions not to bother him until he was finished. The hands on the clock on the wall across from you ticked by at what seemed like an agonizingly slow pace. You couldn’t wait to just go home and get into bed. It had been a long day at school and you were beyond exhausted.

Sighing, you returned to the thick textbook of formulas and information, of which half of it you barely could understand. You engrossed yourself in the reading yet again, holding your chin up with the palm of your hand.

You almost felt your eyes slowly droop closed before suddenly a loud searing noise could be heard from across the street. Eyes wide, you jumped up from the wooden stool.  

Maybe it was just your tired eyes playing tricks on you. It had to be, because, if not, then you were witnessing Spider-Man live in action fighting off a group of men wearing… Avengers masks? Spider-Man? What the hell?

Oh my god, oh my god, what the-?  You blinked a few times in pure shock. The blue-and-red clad superhero was suddenly trapped in the orbit of some huge gun emitting a weird purple ray. This couldn’t be real. Pacing behind the counter, your eyes never left the scene unfolding across the street. What were you supposed to do? Call the police? Run? Stay put?

You weren’t able to even think about any other possible decisions before the smell of smoke and burning metal hit. It was like your whole body shut down. The whole room around you was engulfed in flames. You couldn’t move. You tried. You couldn’t. It felt like your brain just stopped working, suddenly you were unable to send signals to your limbs to get the hell out of there.

“Dad!” You choked out, tears rolling down your cheeks. “Dad!”

A gust of wind came in through the now completely shattered glass wall to your left. Before you could speak, before you could cry, before your brain could fully process what was going on, you felt yourself being scooped up into someone’s arms. Opening your previously squeezed shut eyes, you gasped as you looked up and saw the familiar suit of none other than Spider-Man himself.

He looked down at you for a split second before tightly squeezing you in his arms. “I’ve got you, you’re okay.”

His voice sounded awfully familiar to you, but honestly, you were too bewildered to think about that. Spider-Man carried you out of the store, you instinctively clinging to his chest. By now the whole front was completely ablaze. The masked hero carefully put you down, though you still held onto him, utterly terrified.

“Stay here, (Y/N). I’ll be right back.” He blurted, in the heat of the moment not even realizing that he’d just called you by your first name. Your puffy eyes widened, confusion and shock still pulsing through you.

You stood upright, legs unable to move again because of how sudden everything had just happened. Watching in silence as the hero slung himself back into the smoky shop. He came back out in under a minute, your father’s cat in his arms and his right hand on your dad’s shoulder.

At the sight of your dad, his work clothes covered in ash, you felt the blood start coursing through your veins at a fast pace. You mustered up all of your energy and strength, running over to him and collapsing into his arms. He hugged you back tightly.

Silently sobbing into your father’s shoulder, you stood embracing him for what felt like hours before you heard someone clear their throat behind you.
Wait. Spider-Man knew your name. You instantaneously remembered the previous encounter between you, turning around abruptly and slowly willing your legs to move over towards him. As you got closer, you took in his oddly familiar stature and the way his tight suit fit over his arms.

No, it couldn’t be.

It wasn’t possible.

No way.

Your brain was probably just pulsating with dopamine.

“Spider-Man?” You breathed, now standing bordering on the too-close boundary in front of him. Your nails dug into the palms of your hands, nerves, awe, shock, and confusion wracking your mind all at once. He tilted his head to the side at your words. “How do you know my name?”

Sensing that he had tensed up at your blunt question, you stepped even closer to him, placing your hands on his toned upper arms. It felt like time had stopped in that moment. Suddenly you couldn’t smell the burning metal all around you, or remember that you’d just basically cheated your own death. All your attention was on the masked boy in front of you.

He just saved your life. Holding your breath, you waited for him to answer you.

He didn’t say anything, but instead, reached one hand to the back of his head and slowly pulled his mask off. Your eyes saw the curly tufts of brown hair first, and recognition immediately swept over you like a tidal wave.

The rest of his mask was now off, revealing Peter’s full face. Peter. Peter Parker. The boy who just weeks ago you’d made flustered out of his mind just by a simple sentence. The boy you’d been talking to non-stop at school ever since. The doe eyed, wavy haired boy who was slowly taking up all of your thoughts one by one.

Adrenaline pulsed through you at a thousand miles per hour, your hands still placed on his biceps. To say you were in complete disbelief was a huge understatement, but you were also immediately filled with an all too familiar feeling of adoration.

It was him. He was the one risking his life on the daily, just to help save innocent people from harm. And he had just saved you.

Placing your cold hands on either side of his neck, you let your astonishment take over as you brought your lips to his, kissing him urgently and standing on your tiptoes. Peter stumbled towards you in surprise, his hands flying down to encircle your waist and pull you closer. He kissed you back with just as much power as you kissed him. A million sparks flew and ignited between you.

Your eyes were squeezed tight, and through the kiss, you could feel salty tears start to trickle down your burning cheeks.

Time had truly stopped.

It was only when you finally pulled away, eyes wide as saucers and blushing like a bride when it felt like time resumed around you. You stared into Peter’s eyes, which looked just as shocked as yours. He moved one hand from your waist, carefully lifting it up to gently wipe the tears that continued to drip down your face. You felt your face surge with energy where his gloved hand lay.

Peter grinned widely at you, and you shook your head in a dazed smile back at him. Grabbing hold of his arms yet again, you tugged him into the most secure hug you’d ever given. You buried your face into his chest.

He looked down at you, opening his mouth to speak before he was cut off by a loud sigh coming from behind the two of you. “Oh dios mío.”

the folks over at Criminal Minds really have their shit together

on the air for 13 SEASONS and counting, because they know that all they gotta do to maintain viewership is give the audience gratuitous Spencer Reid whump at steadily increasing levels of severity

i think every time matthew gray gubler’s voice cracks on camera, i grow a new ovary, and their contracts get renewed

i am really really lucky i never kept up with this show, because if i did, hooo boy, i’d be in deep

this doe-eyed white boy with an obscenely vulnerable-sounding voice?? has a traumatic childhood? daddy issues?? gets literally tortured by an unsub?? gets addicted to heroin? has symptoms of psychosis?? gets addicted to heroin AGAIN?? goes to a hypnotherapist to have MORE traumatic flashbacks to his childhood?

and this season he’s like, going to prison?? or something?????

like, this show is good i guess, but the only reason it’s still on the air after THIRTEEN SEASONS is because matthew gray gubler is so good at looking Pretty and Sad and Vulnerable that he makes even jaded butch folks want to be maternal

tl;dr good on criminal minds for cracking the “look i just want to watch a sad boy be sad” audience demographic, it’s me, i am the demographic

FUTURE HEARTS | PT.5

pt1 | pt2 | pt3 | pt4 | pt5 | pt6 | (ongoing)

pairing: jimin x reader, jungkook x reader

genre: angst + punk!jikook

word count: 15,203

description: It was everything, from his tattoos, to his touches, to the way sweat rolled down his neck as he strummed into his guitar on stage; everything about him had completely enthralled you. So why are you now, two and a half years later, on a train to Seoul, telling a complete stranger the recollection of how you became fated to forever have scars on all of your future hearts, due to the happiness, but most of all the pain, that came along with falling in love with Jeon Jungkook.

note: inspired by the anime/manga “Nana” 

cr.


a year and a half earlier.

Jungkook collapsed against the seat of the train, a heavy weight filling his chest as he buried his face into the palms of his hands. He could feel the incessant sting at the back of his eyes as tears continued to fall down his flushed skin. He just couldn’t believe that this was happening, this wasn’t how it was supposed to end — it was never supposed to end between the two of you.

He couldn’t help but think to himself, was this really the right thing to do? Leaving the girl he loves behind so he could pursue this opportunity. He knew that music was the only thing he wanted to do with his life, working a normal job, doing the same things day to day, it just wasn’t for him. So when Seoyeon asked him to be in her band after she got offered her record deal, he knew he had to take it, but then he quickly realized what that actually meant.

It meant no more late night drives out to the lake, it meant no more looking out into the crowd of his shows and seeing your face, it meant no more waking up in the middle of the night to find you curled against his chest, but most importantly — it meant no more you and him, and just that single thought alone was enough to tear him apart at the seams.  

Keep reading

not all of us are made of stardust
not all of us are gold-breathers, poet-girls, doe eyed boys with soft teeth

I was born with red poppy lips and horns that broke my mother’s poisonous bones. my throat is the wind on the rainy day and I cannot stop the cold or the spring buds. there is a trembling in my hot bones, shaking fingers pressed to parted lips and eyes open too wide

I collect poet’s tongues in a yellow paper envelope with nothing but “empty lungs” written on the back with thick black sharpie

my desk is the space under the sink in the bathroom, the door with the broken lock. it is a burned tile floor with droplets of dried rust blood but it is mine and I will keep both hands on the double-edged sword.

my own teeth are full of the fury of a summer storm, all the wicked power meant for more than this body, meat dripping off the bone. flesh and mind are at war and I am the sole witness to the damage of my vicious honey-bitter soul.

my hands are charcoal, vanilla ice cream in the mouth of an empty-eyed child, vile words on a crisp clean paper.

there are flies on my lips, they can taste my stagnant breath and know that my lungs have been breathing air that wasn’t mine. I can’t get away from the child that used to be me, my decaying name is a shard of glass plunged into my bandaged ribcage every time my mother opens her mouth.

my way out isn’t reading books any more, it is ripping them apart and writing poetry. it is walking in the rain until I can’t feel my arms, burning my tongue on fresh brownies, wearing flowers in the hair that is too long but is mine anyways. it is breathing with bandages and anxiety in every open stall, it is blood and stained glass and permanent markers on my skin. it is the smell of gasoline and the deer who stare at me just out of reach.

I am not a gold-breather, poet girl, I am a doe eyed boy but not with soft teeth. I am sickness, a fever in the brain, a numbness in the body. I am burnt lover letters, a lightning struck tree.
I am judas, kissing jesus not because I was born a traitor but because I want to taste him and neither of us wants to die alone.

Colors (Part 15)

Genre : Mafia/gangg AU

Word count : 9K

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 / Part 7 / Part 8 / Part 9 / Part 10 /Part 11 / Part 12 / Part 13

MASTERLIST

Originally posted by chimchams


You woke up from another nightmare. Lately you’ve been having too many of those.. You always end up waking up in the middle of the night, covered in cold sweat, hands trembling in an unknown fear and a strange jittery feeling in your chest that you can’t seem to shake off. It makes breathing uneasy, feels like a heavy weight above you that’s pushing you down. Finding sleep after that is next to impossible.

3 nights in a row now, the nightmares never end. Mornings are gloomy and nights have become sleepless. The fact that you’re in a different house now doesn’t really help.

This time it wasn’t Min Yoongi though. It was someone else, covered in all black from head to toe; he dragged you by your arm in a huge pit of fire. You screamed as the flames rose 50ft above the ground and swallowed you whole. Your flesh burned and you called for help but nobody came. Until you woke up and found yourself in your room all alone.

You sat on your bed now, hugging your knees while looking out the open window beside you. A cold breeze passes through your hair and an owl hoots somewhere in the far distance as you look on; you can hear the cicadas buzzing. In the stillness of the night you can even hear the wind howling. After sometime you start to feel an ease, the weight on your chest lifts up and your heart settles down.

Then you hear some rustling outside your door, metallic clatter of pots and pans. There’s light seeping into your room through the small gap below the door. The time on your watch shows “12:45 AM”. What was Jin cooking so late at night?

You crawl out of your bed; the floor is cold and creaks underneath your foot with each step. You open the door carefully, step into the small living area and you tiptoe towards the kitchen without making a sound. Standing in a corner you watch Jin from a distance. His hand moves gracefully as he slices and dices through vegetables quickly like a professional.

You thought Jin was too busy with his cooking to even notice your presence, plus you moved so silently like a ghost so there’s no way he could tell. But you noticed how he turned his head just a little, as if listening to your breathing, and then you caught a glimpse of his smile.

“Couldn’t sleep?” he asked without turning his head and you came out of the dark.

“How did you know? I was so quiet.”

“Who do I work for y/n?”

You drag your feet on the floor and walk up behind him, place your one ear on his back and wrap your arms around his torso.

“I had a nightmare” you said closing your eyes. Jin was about 5 or 6inches taller than you and always smelled like vanilla incense to you.

.“Again?” you could hear the concern in his voice.

“Hmmm” You hum

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asks and you shake your head.

“No. it was horrible, awful. Just really bad.. I don’t want to remember it. I can’t even sleep anymore-”

“Well I can’t either” he says.

“Did you have a nightmare too?”

“No, I was just hungry.”

“You had my share of cold noodles too” you bury your face in his back “you’re such a pig”

“I’m also older than you; How about some respect for a change? Is that how you talk to your elders?”

“You’re an old pig”

“You little punk-!” you chuckle. After some time you start to tell him about the nightmare you had.  

“I dreamed there was this huge fire..I was burning and screaming, it was worse than the last one. I don’t dream about anything good anymore. I’m so scared of going to sleep.” Jin turns around, abandons his knife, and brings you into a hug.

“Nightmares don’t last forever. Open your eyes and look around” you look at him instead. “This is real, I’m real”

He was right. This was real, the doe eyed boy with a sweet smile standing in front of you was reality. You flesh wasn’t melting off, you weren’t surrounded by fire. You were wrapped in his arms, safe and sound, where there was warmth and feeling of love.  

You held onto him and he placed his chin on top of your head.

“How long do you want to stay like this?” he asked.

“Is there a time limit?”

“Yes, I have to cook.”

“Just 2 more minutes than” you say smiling.

“2 more minutes it is.-” He looked at his watch and you squeezed him tightly.

Seok Jin’s embrace was always welcoming, it only took seconds for you to melt within him, when his strong arms were wrapped around your back you felt protected, as if there was nothing in this world that could possibly harm you. It soothed you, made you forget the demons that haunted you every night.

You felt safe

You felt loved.

That’s how life with Jin past 3 weeks has been like. Some day’s you’re nothing but a bundle of sadness, just a heap of despair lying on the bed and staring into far distance. On those days, he picks you up and helps you realize that you’re still alive. On good days you talk about a hopeful future or a wistful past.

“Do you miss it?” you would ask him. “People back there, all your friends? Family? Min Yoongi?”

“Do you want me to be honest?” he would say and you would nod eagerly

“I do. But not much of it”

“Will you go back?”

“Yeah..Soon” was Jin’s reply.

One day you asked him how he ended up with someone like Min Yoongi. He had laughed.

“My father used to work for Yoongi’s dad. He was the head of finance, taking care of all the money matters. They were good friends. Until one day he had a car accident, he died then and there. I was only 12. Mother married another business man only after 2 months of father’s death. Apparently father hadn’t left anything under her name so she refused to take me in. I didn’t have any close relatives.. That’s how I met Yoongi and his dad. He took me in, said they were my only family now”

“Your father served me well all these years; you’ll grow up and serve my son. That’s your fate Seok Jin. The sooner you accept it, the better it will be for you” Jin recalled the words Yoongi’s father had said to him with a sad smile.

“You don’t have to do it. If you don’t want to-” you told Jin.

“I don’t have to.. But I don’t mind it anymore. Yoongi is family and for family you do that kind of stuff”’

The day after the incident with Taehyung, Jin took you out for ice-cream. That easily became one of the best memories of him that you have. The night was perfect. The weather was crisp cold; Jin wrapped you up in 3 layers of clothes. Sweaters, overcoats, woolen caps, mittens and scarf. No part of your skin other than your eyes and nose was visible.

You had laughed after looking at yourself in the mirror. You looked like a rag doll.

“Is it too much? Remove the scarf” You hadn’t laughed like that in such a long time, it felt great. Like the heavy weight on your chest was suddenly bearable; you could breathe easily now. Jin said the reason why you needed to wear a bundle of clothes was because it was cold outside but you knew most of it was because he didn’t want anyone to recognize you.

You held his hand and walked among a crowd of people without worrying that anyone could recognize you. Twirled around the street like kid high on sugar rush all the while Jin just watched and smiled. He wore a mask himself but his eyes could tell he was smiling.

“Are you happy?” he had asked on the away back home and you had replied by pulling your scarf down from your mouth and placing a light kiss on his cheek. “I guess you are”

After that day Taehyung hardly ever showed his face to Jin (or you), though they remained in contact through calls. One time he did show up at the house to pick up some of his stuff. When your eyes met he had just glared at you without saying a word, let alone an apology.

“Why do you hate me? What did I do to you?” you had asked him that day, just as he was leaving, Jin was busy doing something in his room.  

“You’re asking me? Why don’t you take a look around” Taehyung had replied “You’ve ruined us. Our family.. Who knows where Yoongi is, Jimin and hoseok are on the run, Jin hyung is here babysitting you and you dare to ask me what you did. Do us all a favor and fling yourself off a building you selfish bitch”

That was the last thing Taehyung said to you and after that you never saw his face. A week later Jin said they were moving into a different house, a much smaller one. Where Taehyung won’t be living with you two, it would be just you and him. You were relieved. Though Living with Jin all alone did make you uncomfortable at first but slowly you got used to it.  

With your cheek pressed flat against the surface of the dining table you observed Jin quietly. His strong back flexed time and again as his hands moved swiftly up and down opening cabinets and drawers. He was skilled at cooking. It was his job to cook 3 times a day and yours was to clean the dishes. Work was divided like that.

Jin turns and looks at you over his shoulder. “Is it that interesting? to see me cook?” he asks.

You shrugged and he went back to doing his work. And you just kept gawking. After he was done he brought the food to table and mouth watered at the sight of it.

“Hey Jin, can I ask you something?” after you both finished your food, Jin picked up the dirty dishes and stacked them in the sink.

“Yeah sure” he replied while washing his hands.

“Why don’t you ever ask me anything-?” you raised the question that has been on your mind for quite some time now. You were always asking Jin about his life but he never asked you anything about yours. Even Min Yoongi never bothered. “I ask you about your life all the time. But you don’t ask me anything?”

Jin wiped his hands clean on a paper towel and walked up to you before placing a hand on top of your head and giving you a wide smile.

“I already know everything about you”

“How?” you questioned still confused.

“When you first stepped foot inside the ‘headquarter’, a day after that Yoongi gave me the job of finding information on you. That’s what my job is Y/n, I’m the information broker.”

“That makes sense”

“I know it sounds creepy but I know every single detail about you. Where you were born, your mom and dad’s name, where your mother lives now, your elementary school, high school, your relatives and all that kind of information, I had to look it all up”

You just stayed quiet after hearing that.

“Are you mad at me?” you shook your head.

“No”

“Do you hate me now?”

“No”

“Then look at me” you did. You looked him straight in the eyes and he knew something was wrong.

“We trust each other right?” this time you couldn’t say it back.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you earlier-”

“It wasn’t your fault; you were doing your job. I just..  I feel like my privacy has been breached. I feel violated. Does that sense?

“It’s not like that” he said crouching down so his face was right in front of yours. “Don’t say that okay.. The truth is I don’t know anything about you. I know who you are I don’t know you as a person, yet-”

“I’d like to know who you are rather than just your name and where you live. Those are pretty useless information honestly” he smiled and held your face in his hands before placing a kiss on forehead right between your brows. “C’mon lets go to bed its already late.”

Seok Jin’s bed was laid out right in front of the sofa, there was only one bedroom in the apartment and Jin had decided it would be yours. His bed included a single mattress with a bed sheet covering it. Pillows were stacked all around and a blanket that was big enough for two.

“Hey Jin”

“Hmmm” he answers sleepily.

“What’s your favorite color?” he opened his eyes slowly and blinked a few times while you waited for him to answer

“why?”

“I’ll buy you a gift”

“A gift?” he says in a raspy voice “why? What’s the occasion?”

“For taking care of me and for keeping me safe all this time.. Feeding me Michelin star worthy food everyday” you smile and he smiles back, his eyes shut again.

“It’s pink” he finally tells you “buy me something expensive. No flowers though.. I have pollen allergy”

“You’re petty”

“-And proud” You end up laughing out too loud at his words and he opens his eyes just stares at you.

“Why are you staring?” If only it was possible his stare would burn a hole through your face. You start to get a little shy. “Is there something on my face? Do I have an ugly smile?”

“You have a beautiful smile” Jin says touching a strand of hair that fell in front of your face. “I knew someone who used to laugh like that”

“Who was it? Was it your friend? Best friend? Girl friend-” Jin’s smile dropped too quickly. It was a girl.  You tried to change the subject quickly.

“You know what.. We should probably go to sleep now. It’s already late. I should go now-”

“I want to kiss you.” You turned and gaped at him. Your cheeks started to heat up and probably looked red at sight. With his eyes still stuck on you. he supported himself on his one arm to hover over you a bit. It was his sleepiness talking. It had to be.

“Jin” you backed a little when he came a bit closer “I don’t think we should-”

“Do you mind?” he was asking for your permission. You just had to say ‘yes’. One word and he’ll stop. One word and things will go back to normal. Just one word

Yes, I do mind you kissing me. It’s not right, not when I have feelings for someone else. So we can’t. We shouldn’t.

But then you froze and uttered the wrong word.

“No”

The moment the word slipped out of your mouth his lips crashed against yours, knocking all the wind out of your lung. You fell back and your hand caught the front of Jin’s shirt. His one hand was on your side supporting his upper body and the other hand landed on your cheek. You close your eyes breathed through your nose before kissing him back. Your hand that was gripping the front of his shirt loosened up as you decided to push him away. But somehow the hand just stayed there and your fingers started playing with a button.

The last time you kissed Jin, 3 weeks ago, it really felt like nothing. No great fireworks, no fluttering hearts. Just lips molding onto one another mechanically and formally. This was different though, it was too needy and a little sloppy.

Jin finally pulls away, you’re both breathless and in some kind of awe. He just stares at you blankly. He doesn’t even blink, doesn’t move until you move him out of his trance.

“Jin we shouldn’t..-” when you say his name he leans into you again. This time, there’s no hurry.  His lips are warm, comforting and soft like the pillow below your head; you open your eyes while he’s still kissing you. You stop and look at him.

“Jin stop” you hold his face in your hand.

“What is it?” he asks reading the worried expression on your face.

“Jin, why are you crying?” you said wiping his tear away with your thumb.

                                                         —

“What?” Seok Jin sat up straight and touched his own face. You got up and wiped his wet cheeks with the sleeve of your t-shirt “Did I just start crying?”

“Are you okay?” you asked still concerned. Jin turns to you, adorning a frown on his usually smiling face; he starts to look around here and there completely dazed.

“I don’t know. I just, I think need to go out for some fresh air-” but you held his hand, stopping him from leaving.

“Let’s talk about it” You pleaded and Jin removed his hand from your grip “You’re not okay. Tell me if something is something bothering you?”

“No” he lied. “I’m fine

“Jin I know you’re not fine. You can tell me. We could share such stuff”

“I said I’m FINE! JUST STOP ASKING ALRIGHT” he yelled so loud you were taken aback. You let go of his hand. But he quickly realized his mistake.

“I’m sorry” Jin apologized. He closed his eyes and ran his fingers through his hair. “I didn’t want to yell. I’m just. I don’t know what happened. But I don’t want to talk about it, I can’t. I can’t tell anyone. I’m really sorry y/n”

“It’s okay. It’s okay If you don’t want to talk about it.. Just stay here. Don’t lock yourself in like that” you stand on your knees to hug him. “You don’t have to keep it to yourself you know. Weren’t you the one who told me ‘there’s no shame in crying’?”

“I’m telling you I’m fine-”

“You can cry right now, you don’t have to hide it-” you put your hand on the back of his head and ran your fingers through his brown locks “we could just stay up all night, just hold each other. How about we go out for ice-cream? On the way home you could tell me one of your stupid jokes again. I promise I’ll laugh this time. Then I’ll tell you a lame story about my high school, you could pretend it’s interesting.” you felt his arms finally going around your back and squeezing your waist.

“We could do all that and so much more. You don’t have to tell me anything right now. Just stay, that’s more than enough. I like staying beside you Jin, it feels.. Nice. Feels warm” He placed his forehead on your shoulder and started sobbing quietly. It was weird change of scenario, usually it was you who was always crying and grieving uncontrollably and it was Jin who whispered hopes and affirmations in your ear. Now you held him in your arms, his shoulders quivered uncontrollably and your shirt was getting soaked in his tears. He seemed so fragile you started wondering how you could protect him instead; shelter him from this cruel world.

“I miss her-” Jin said in a broken voice “I miss her so much. It hurts. Fucking hurts”

“I know. I’m sure she had her reason that’s why she left. It must’ve been hard for her too. Someday she’ll realize how much she misses you she’ll come back. Then you can tell her how much you love her-”

“No, you don’t understand. She’s not coming back. She’s dead y/n” you removed your hand from his hair and he tightened his grip “She died and she’s never coming back. I was the one who killed her-”

“Jin..”

“I wish it was me. Everyday..i keep wishing it was me who had died, not her. She should’ve lived. It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair!” his body trembled with each word, you held him in your arms with all your might.

“Life isn’t fair” you said to him holding back your own tears “you and I should know it better than anyone else.”

                                                          —

Your bodies molded easily with one another inside the thick warm blanket, the room heater in a corner kept the small living space heated up. You lie on your back and stare above, your one arm resting on your forehead, eyes vacantly staring at the ceiling fan. A hundred different thoughts run through your head. None of them stay too long, they come and go.

Jin sleeps beside you so peacefully, his face buried in the crook of your neck, one hand snaked above your stomach and other one held your free hand under the covers.

It would be morning in 3 hours but you couldn’t sleep no matter how hard you tried. You shifted a little and tried to move away from Jin but his hand wouldn’t budge.

“Why do you move so much” you heard him muttering sleepily. “Go to sleep”

“I can’t sleep” you frown. “How do you sleep so peacefully after such a long day?”

He didn’t reply. He was drained, you could tell. Jin made you realize even the strongest looking people are broken inside; the cracks were visible on him now.

“Hey Jin”

“Hmmm..” he responded

“What are we now?” you asked out of curiosity “You and I?”

Jin answered after a long pause.

“What do you want us to be?” he asked instead. You turn towards him.

“We’re already a lot of things.” You move your hand towards his face and touch his eye brows “We’re lonely.”

“And sad” Jin says after you.

“Broken”

“Hurt?”

“Love-less”

“Hope-less” he says and you both end up grinning like two school kids sharing an inside joke.

“We’re all that.” he blinks in agreement. “For once, why don’t we try to be.. happy?”

Jin moves closer and places a long kiss on your forehead. His mouth stays there when he speaks.

“If that’s what you want then we’ll be that. We’ll be happy from tomorrow.” You smile and close your eyes.

“Yeah, that would be nice. Let’s be happy tomorrow”

                                                        —

You were clingy.

Not the bad kind of clingy though. It was the kind of ‘clingy’ that made him want to protect you, he didn’t mind it, in some way he felt powerful when he looked after you. When you crept your away into his bed beside him, when you cried and leaned on his chest, when he held your frail body and told you white lies about a better tomorrow.

He felt strong. It was something he had never felt before.

Strong was just something Jin could never be.

Even when he was younger Jin was different than the other kids who were raised beside him. Yoongi and Namjoon, they were strong, they could fight the world with their bare hands, and they knew how to make it through the worst of the worst. Whereas Jin.. Jin was barely surviving.

Seok Jin was kinder; everyone always said he had a ‘gentle soul’; he could never get himself to hurt another being. And that made him weak.

“Pathetic” his father had once spat at him. Jin was only 9; he came back from school with one black eye and a bruised face. He got beat up in school by some older kids. They wanted his new bag and he said ‘No’. He didn’t fight back, couldn’t even protect his bag.

“Just look at yourself. Crying like a girl in front of me. You let those scum bags beat you up? Why didn’t you fight back? Don’t you have hands and feet’s? Are you slow in your head?” The look his father had given to him that day was just pure disgust. “This is the second time you came home looking like a piece of trash. I’m ashamed of you. Next time this happens, I’ll beat you up with a belt until your skin bleeds and throw you out of this house naked”

But Father was just like that. He was cruel to his own blood but loved the extravagant world outside his home. His ‘secret’ yet not so secret affairs and immoral behavior led to mother turning bitter towards every man that had ‘Kim’ as last name in the family.

Mother failed miserably on her part too. She was never home, hated father from the marrow of her bone, Jin was just a nuisance to her. Money and alcohol were her first priority. Her family never made it to the list.  

It was a few years later Seok Jin found out that father had been hiding one of his offspring from the whole world, one from his mistress; He had a half-sister, younger than him. His dirty little secret was unraveled; people would talk about it in hushed voices and faint whispers. But Jin heard it all and so did mother.

After father died, Mother was quick to put an end to the rumors. She made sure that nobody ever knew about the existence of the girl or where she came from, in fear that in future she would demand her own share in fathers will. Poor girl disappeared without a trace.

Jin only heard from one of the maid:

“The mother died in a some “unfortunate’’ car accident and the girl.. She was sent out of the country. I heard she became mentally unstable after her mother died- ”

Years later Jin ended up sharing his family history with Min Yoongi.

“Rich people are fucking crazy” Min Yoongi had chuckled “It’s a miracle you turned out fine

Jin was a years older than Min Yoongi and yet it was always Yoongi who looked after him. After moving into his house Yoongi and Jin hit it off quickly, they became inseparable. Yoongi was 11 and Jin was 12. They went to same private school, shared the same bedroom, had dysfunctional families and lacked any kind of right parental guidance.

So they found family in each other.

By nature they were poles apart. Jin was quiet, more reclusive, avoided opening up to other people. He always wanted to help others, care for them. He wanted to have a family; he had aspirations for when he would grow up. Jin always believed that his future would be much kinder than his past.

Min Yoongi on the other hand was downright cruel ever since he was a kid. He was blunt without any regards of the other person’s feelings. He liked winning, didn’t matter how, he loved standing over other people said it made him feel powerful. Min Yoongi lacked a sense of morality. World was either black or white for him.

Most of it was his father’s fault.

“People always have a choice. Live or die? Fight or fly.  You can choose to become weak or you can be strong. What kind of men do you want to grow up to be? Weak, spineless, whimpering cowards who spend their life chasing women and paying debts or do you want to become strong and powerful. When you have power and stand on the top the people below you just look like ants scramming for a grain of rice. You have the power to let them live or crush them beneath your feet”

That was his father’s ideology. That’s what was fed to you and Min Yoongi on the dinner table for a long time.  
A year later another new face made an entry in the house. Another kid, another young mind for Yoongi’s father to manipulate..

Kim Namjoon. He was even younger than Min Yoongi. A scrawny little 10year old, face tanned and eyes eerily hollow. He wore rags for clothes and looked like he hadn’t been fed properly in last 2 or 3 months.

3 years later, in a school playground, the same scrawny little boy almost beat another boy to death. Reason: The boy accidently knocked shoulders with Yoongi and refused to apologize. The boy survived only because Jin pulled Namjoon off him in right time.

The boy who had lived was 17. He survived with a broken jaw, a fractured left arm 4 or 5 missing teeth, 20 stitches on his face and a compensation of 50,000$ from Yoongi’s father that came with a term that he would leave the country and never comeback unless he actually wanted to die this time. They never saw his face ever again.

“Did I do it right?” Namjoon had asked Yoongi excitedly, like a child seeking approval from his parent.

“You almost killed him..” Yoongi would say with a cigarette dangling from his mouth “On the fucking school property. You know how angry father was. We would be in so much trouble if he wasn’t good friends with the principal. Be careful next time.”

That was only the first of many more to come. Incidents like those became a common thing for the three of you. Namjoon had a reputation for spilling blood everywhere he went and Yoongi loved playing fetch with him.

“Namjoon is trouble” Jin had warned Yoongi once. It was after Namjoon ended up in a drunk and drive accident. An old man lost his life, Namjoon had his car privileges taken away for next 6months.

Yoongi’s father took care of it though, just like always.  

“He’s just a kid” Yoongi would brush it off. Namjoon was 16 and far from a kid. He was the tallest among them and the quickest to get angry.
“He’s old enough to understand the consequences of killing someone. That too someone innocent-”

“People do mistakes. He did too..Geez let the kid breath”

It was only a few years later Yoongi saw the monster Namjoon had truly become. It took 1/3rd of his organization and a dead 14year old to make him realize the atrocity that Kim Namjoon was.

Yoongi never said it openly; But Jin knows he secretly blames himself.

Half of Seok Jin’s childhood and all of his teenage life was spent under Min Yoongi’s shadow. Min Yoongi wasn’t just his boss. He was his best friend, his brother and the only true family he ever knew. They could see through each other easily. Jin saw time and again how broken Min Yoongi was and Yoongi knew Jin was weak. So Yoongi protected him, stayed beside him no matter what, through thick and thin they remained brothers.

For Jin, Yoongi would put his life on the line and Jin would do the same in a blink.

Because they were family and for family… You do that kind of stuff.

Family?

What about the one he wanted? The one he dreamed about. A home he had desired or a family that he wished for. He used to think about it, a lot. Back when things were looking up, back then when there was girl he could plan a future with. Even though they were young, they had hope.

Hope that their future would be different.

“Let’s run away”

“We can’t”

“Why not?”

“They’ll find us”

“They won’t look for you. They don’t need you Seok Jin”

“Min Yoongi does. I can’t just leave everything and run. Min Yoongi needs me-”

“What about me?” she had said with tears in her eyes “I need you too. I need you more than him”

Jin still wonders what his life would’ve been if he had said ‘Yes’. In his dreams he always ends up saying ‘yes’ but there is nothing beyond that.

After Bo-ra died, Jin locked up that part of his heart for good; the one that dreamed so fondly, the one that wanted love constantly or had any hopes for a brighter tomorrow. After that day it all became so grey. A monotonous cycle of work and survival, Family were the people he was surrounded with, working for Min Yoongi was his moral obligation.

He was never deprived of anything good.

He ate good food, wore fine clothes and spent leisure time with the ones he cared about. Women were never an issue.

He had his life set. Everything was perfect.

And he was doing just fine.

No, He wasn’t happy. But he was ‘fine’. Up until now..

After so many years of working under Min Yoongi he had completely forgotten what real happiness felt like. And now suddenly he’s starting to remember it all.

“For once, why don’t we try to be..happy?”

You said to him last night. And just like that the realization hit Seok Jin, he did indeed wanted to be happy.            

He was happy; these past three weeks were like a dream. A dream he had dreamed about a thousand times in the past, the one he had forgotten even though he wanted to hold onto it. Last three weeks were a strange reality.

Waking up next to you every morning was something he could get used to, he liked cooking for you and you liked watching him cook. You laughed loudly, smiled brightly, held his hand so tight it made his palms red. But he liked it all. He loved the warmth that you two passed onto one another under the blanket. Your forehead next to his beating heart or his face buried in your neck – He loved it all nevertheless.

When he kissed you yesterday, for the second time, all he could taste at first was guilt. Yours and his, mixed all together, gave a bitter aftertaste. There was a girl he loved whose face he started picturing so vividly. He had a brother to whom he had given a promise

Take her far away, keep her safe”.

How could he do this to the dead girl whom he loved? Or betray his brother who was his only family?

He could’ve pulled away that very instance but you kissed him back. And that’s all it took for him to forget it all. He didn’t care about a girl who had left him so selfishly or his boss who ordered him around all these years, some stupid organization he worked in or an old man who was obsessed with power and money.

He only cared about you. You were sweet, a little mellow at times, warmest person he had ever touched. And when he was next to you, he was happy. Kissing you was like finding everything he had ever lost in his life. The part that he had locked away for so long burst open and he was washed up with all those feelings. Love, kindness, warmth, guilt, hurt.

And then he cried. He cried because he missed all those people who had left him so abruptly. Mother who never cared to call and Bora whom he couldn’t save, even father who could never see his son grow up. He cried because he missed a chance of living a life. He cried.. because he missed being happy.

But now, Jin has decided he wanted it all. He wanted to live, instead of just existing. He wanted to be happy, if not for himself then for someone else.

If it was for you then he would give it chance to be happy.

“Tomorrow-?” You exclaim with a mouth full of food. Jin nods while moving his spoon around in the bowl of oatmeal. He looks at your still awe-struck face.

“Why? You don’t want to go?” Jin moves his hand up to your face and wipes off food from the corner of your mouth.

“No.” You reply with a shrug “It’s just that we don’t ever go out. Last time we went out it was 3 weeks ago, almost a month. I haven’t been out of the house ever since. I feel like I’m in a prison sometimes”

“waaah you’re really ungrateful aren’t you” Jin says while feeding himself “Last night you said I fed you Michelin star food everyday and now you’re in a prison. Have you always been such a professional liar? Fine then we won’t go”

“It’s not that…” you whined while clinging to his arm “I do want to go out. It’s just that it’s kind of odd that you asked.”

“It’s Chinese new year tomorrow. Usually it’s supposed to be celebrated with family but since we don’t have that right now-” Jin brought a spoonful of oatmeal to your mouth and fed you “We’ll make-do with each other”

You smiled while chewing.

“It’s tasty”

“I know. I made it”

There was a sudden knock on the door that interrupted your quiet eating session. Jin placed the bowl in your hand and went to open the door. Usually it was one of his informants. They were the only ones who knew where Jin was staying. It was either them or-

“Hyung” Taehyung stood outside the door, a plastic bag in his one hand, wearing a cheesy grin and a dark hoodie over his head.

“I told you to call before you show up”

“I wanted to surprise you” Taehyung held the plastic bag up front handing it Jin. “Here”

“What is it?” Jin asked suspiciously while taking it from his hand.

“Rice cakes” Taehyung said with a tightlipped smile. Jin was finally starting to recognize his younger brother. No matter how much of  a mess he created Jin could never stop seeing him as the 13 year old boy whom he had come to love so much over the years.

“Stay for lunch” Jin said as Taehyung removed his hoodie, revealing his straight blond hair. He ruffled it up with his one hand and looked over Jin’s shoulder before answering.

“I’m not invited” Taehyung said and Jin looked behind him and found you standing there watching you two from a safe distance.

“I just came to gave you that. Also wanted to talk about some important business.. But I guess we’ll talk about it later when you’re free. Until then-” Taehyung put the hoodie back on and was on his way when Jin stopped him.

“We’re going out tomorrow” Taehyung turned hearing Jin’s voice “Since tomorrow is Lunar New Year, Y/n and I are going to the festival. Come with us, later we can have dinner together”

After giving it a some thought, Taehyung nodded in agreement.

“Okay, what time will you be there?”

“Meet us at the Japanese bakery by 9. We can see the fireworks together.”

Taehyung put his earphones back in “I’ll see you there hyung” he said before walking away.

Jin closed the door after he left and turned to look at you. He smiled, but you didn’t return it.

“I guess we’re having rice cakes for lunch”

                                                           —

Time is just a handful of sand; the more you tried to hold onto it the quicker it slips out of your fingers. A day passes away in a few blinks and you’re left wondering how you utilized all those hours.

Truth be told, you wanted time to go a little slower when you were with Jin. But it just never stops. Hours go by as you’re laid in his arms cozily. But it only feels like a second or two.

It was so perfect, the way the scene was set up. Just Like a sweet dream. An old blue sofa sat in the living room, Jin was lying on his back engrossed in his book; your pillow was his chest – swaying you up and down as if you were on a boat that was putting you to sleep. You could hear his heartbeat; the page turned after every 40second. There was a washing machine that quietly burrred in the background. Jin’s one hand held his book above his face and the other one was lost in your hair.

Half of you was in the real world while the other half was strolling in a dream land. Just as you were about to drift off peacefully, Jin moved and you woke up.

“It’s 6 already. I need to make dinner” he mumbled, somehow it reminded you of your mother. You paid no mind to it. Your eyes were still weary.

“Y/n” he whispered quietly in your ear “Get up now. I need to make dinner”

“mmmm..” you replied but didn’t really move.

“Yah.. wake up now I need to do stuff. Quickly” when you still didn’t move, he sat up straight in a quick motion pushing you up with himself.

“Why are you such a baby?” You heard him say when you started dozing off while sitting straight up.

“WAKE UP Y/N! WAKE UP” he yelled and shook your shoulders and you finally opened your eyes and stared at his face, his mouth was curled up in a coy grin.

“Open your eyes baby” Jin cupped your cheeks with his cold palms. You cried out at the contact but he kept holding your face giggling cheerfully.

“Aaahhh you’re the one who’s acting like a baby. You’re an adult baby!” You threw back at him but he just laughed at your words.

“Fine” he said without removing his hands from your face “I’m the baby. Get up now, I have work to do”

You moved from above him and he made his away to the kitchen. Then began the usual cycle doing evening chores: He cooked the dinner; you cleaned the table and then you two washed the dishes together. After that you would tiredly crawl back to your room and Jin would stay awake for next 2 or 3 hours reading books or his work files.

Next day You were excited about going out. Almost a month has passed since you stepped foot outside, in the real world. For a time, you even started believing that these four walls were your only home and Jin was your only reality. 2 months since that incident with Youngjae happened. His dead face still haunts you at night, some nights you wish you could go back in time and save him.. so you could save yourself in the process. 4 weeks and 2 days since you last saw Min Yoongi. You try to remember him every day – the fading green and the musk of cologne – while still clutching the silver feather in your hand. Not a day since you took off the locket, in fear that those bleak memories of him in your head would fade away. But you still asked yourself at times, “why? Why do you want to remember him so badly?”

You watched the sunset from the window of your room. A fiery ball of red orb settles behind the crest of mountains and the sky becomes ablaze with colors – Crimson, amber, hues of orange and pink shot across the sky. You watched fireworks before the actual fireworks even began. It was beautiful, an oncoming signal of the long night that was to come. You smile to yourself; somebody somewhere must’ve had the same thought.

“You ready?” A voice makes you look back.  Jin walks in, you smile and nod vivaciously. He stands in front of you with his hands behind his back.

“What is it?” you ask him. He just stands there holding in a small smile.

“Nothing” Jin replies while moving a strand of hair behind your hair “It’s a good day. Isn’t it?..Oh, by the way. Here-” he took your hand and handed you a small pink box. It had a cute bow on top of it.

“what-?” stared at the box in your hand and then at Jin’s face. “- what is this?”

“A gift” Jin answered coolly.

“But why..?”

“Just open it” you pulled off the black ribbon and opened the box while Jin watched eagerly.

It was a bracelet. Just A simple thin gold bracelet.. You didn’t even take it out of the box, the moment your eyes caught a glimpse of the ‘gift’ you looked up at Jin in utter disbelief.

“Don’t say you didn’t like it. There’s a no-return policy

“Why did you buy this?” Instead of answering, He took out the bracelet from the box and wrapped it around your wrist and showed it to you. Why did it have to be so pretty?

Jin smiled and cupped your cheek before pressing his lips on your forehead.

“Happy new year kid” he then moved back and looked at you one last time before taking your hand and pulling you out the door with him.

                                                      —-

You were surrounded by a crowd of people. ‘Strangers’ they all were and yet you felt a strange giddiness standing among them, a ‘sense-of-belonging’ that you haven’t felt in such a long time. You were smiling to yourself like an idiot, good thing that the big woolen scarf hid the lower half of your face.

A flock of young girls, probably 15 or 16 years old, walked past you. They eyed Jin standing beside you who was too busy on his phone to notice all the eyes on him. They giggled audibly and went on their way.

An itch bubbled up in your stomach at the sight of them and you quickly found Jin’s hand and held it tightly. Jin finally looked at you and smiled.

The light turned red. The crowd quickly dispersed to get to the other side.

“Let’s go” Jin pulled you with him and you crossed the road to get to the other side.

“Where are we going now?” you asked Jin, your hands were locked tight and cozily tucked inside his over coat’s pocket.

“We’re going to see Taehyung-”

“Oh-” you said, sounding a little displeased with his answer.

You two walked in silence the rest of the way. Everywhere your eyes went you would only see lights that decorated the shops, building, houses even the trees. Streets were filled with cheery people, the sweet smell of fried food made your stomach groan. Children were running across the street without a care. There was man on the sidewalk surrounded by people; he was doing some kind of magic show. You were intrigued but since Jin kept walking you didn’t stop either..

“Walk faster! We’ll be late for the lion dance” You heard a girl who walked past you with her friend.

“I don’t want to miss the firework this year” Another boy talked loudly with his group of friends.

But your eyes were on a man who was juggling knives. Everyone applauded him

“Somi! Don’t run! Hold my hand” you turned your head quickly to look straight at the source of the voice but then something bumped on your stomach and you heard a loud thud. You gasped at the sight of the little girl who had fallen to the ground right in front of you. You let go of Jin’s hand and helped the little girl get up.

“I’m sorry I didn’t see you. Are you hurt?” you said crouching down to her position and dusting off some dirt from her orange frock.

“No, it was my fault. I should’ve watched where I was going. I’m fine”

“Be careful next time kid” Jin said to her and the kid just nodded obediently.

Then another woman, probably her mother, came running behind her and started apologizing to you two before dragging the little one ahead and walking off.

You two finally reached the small bakery. The bakery was closed shut and no ‘Taehyung’ was on site.

“He said he’d be here.” Jin said looking at the time on his watch. You started playing with a small pebble on the ground, moved it around with your feet out of boredom.

“Why don’t you call him?” You said to him after 30 mins of waiting. You ended up sitting on the sidewalk.

“I did. He’s not picking up” Jin said sounding more and more frustrated.

“We should just leave. We’ll miss the fireworks. I don’t think he’s coming” you proposed the idea. Jin sighed and took out his phone from his pocket to call Taehyung one last time. When Taehyung didn’t pick up again Jin decided to curse it out.

“Fuck it” he said and put the phone back in his pocket “C’mon we’re going”

“Finally..” you said with a sigh of relief and got up.

And then you were sprinting towards your destination. “C’mon we’ll be late” You said while dragging Jin by his arm.

“We have plenty of time we won’t get late” he tried to reason with you but you weren’t listening. You were just running.

There was a huge crowd surrounding the area, loud music filled the air. In the middle, you saw some people in bright red costumes dancing to the beat of drums and instruments while the crowd cheered and applauded. The festival was all feathers, sparkles, smiles and laughter. You immersed with the crowd and cheered while Jin stood behind, guarding you from those who were pushing each other to get a good view.

You held Jin’s hand and started cutting through the crowd to get a closer look at the people in the middle.

“Y/n wait” you turned and looked at Jin who was struggling to remain in contact with you. Even though you were holding hands, your sweaty palms were starting lose grip.

“Jin” you called his name but he probably couldn’t hear over the music. “Jin!”

Your locked hands were released from each other’s grip. You looked at Jin’s face as he was trying to make his way to you while pushing and shoving the people around him. You decided to get out of there, as you started to walk towards him someone pushed you from behind, you regained your balance and kept walking towards Jin’s head which was barely visible to you.

“JIN!” you yelled. This time he heard your voice and looked up at you. He made a gesture telling you to get out and meet you outside. You nodded and started walking through the crowd again. You were almost out when suddenly someone bumped into you. The collision was hard enough to make you hiss in pain, you still turned and apologized to the person who had already mingled with the faceless crowd.

You pushed your way out and breathed in some fresh air. As soon as you were out of the ruckus you started looking around for Jin. You searched for him frantically. Your heart was racing too fast; a cold shiver ran through your body when you started having all the wrong thoughts.

What if they found him? What will they do to him? What are you going to do? Where will you go?

Your eyes started to well up when you couldn’t find him no matter where you looked.

In the end you just stood on that one spot and prayed that he’ll see you there standing, somehow, He’ll find you.

“oh! Eonnie” A kid’s voice ringed loud in your ear, even among the blaring music and cheering crowd. You heard the voice. You turned and looked at person who had called out. It was the little girl who had bumped into you. You gave her your best smile and she returned it with a bigger one. She let go of her mother’s hand and ran towards you.

“Eonnie!” you sat on your knees to face her “Here-”

It was your bracelet. You looked at your empty wrist and realized you must’ve dropped it. She handed it to you and gave you a toothless grin since her one front tooth was missing.

“You must’ve dropped it as you were leaving. I found it on the ground where we had bumped”

You took it from her hand and wore it quickly.

“Thank you so much. You’re a really smart kid you know that” you got up and placed a hand on her head.

“Y/N!” finally you heard Jin. You turned around and saw him in a distance, out of breath running towards you. Your eyes started to water out of relief but then-

“Eonnie…” you turned and looked at the kid whose face had turned pale in horror. “Eonnie blood

You noticed she was pointing something on your T-shirt. You followed her finger and saw what she was pointing at.

She was pointing at your stomach.

No, not even that. She was pointing at the growing red stain on your T-shirt.

You tried to find the source. Was someone hurt in the crowd? You must’ve got their blood on you.. Maybe they need help.

But then you felt it, the excruciating pain on one side of your torso. It felt like someone was hitting you on the side with a hot metal rod over and over again.

“Eonnie…” the kid read the distress on your face quiet easily.

“Run to your mother. Go now” you said hiding your pain the best you could and refraining to touch her with your bloody hands.

“Y/n!” Jin yelled, you turned and saw him huffing at a close distance now. You smiled; you knew he couldn’t see your pale face from the distance. He started walking towards you and you took small steps to reach him.

When the distance between you two was less than an arm you ran towards him jumped and he enclosed his arms around your waist so tight, picking you off the ground.

It hurt, so much, tears came out but you couldn’t miss out on hugging him, not if it was the last time.

“Fuck I was so scared” Jin’s face was buried in your hair. You squeezed him back with all the strength in your body

“I’m sorry.” You said in a broken voice.

“Okay let’s not do this ever again alright. I’m not doing this stupid ‘date’ thing ever again. We can just stay at home and I’ll cook for you instead-”

“I didn’t know this was a date” you smiled leaning your head on his shoulder tiredly and closing your eyes.

“I thought if I told you.. You wouldn’t agree.”

“You could try again” you laughed but the pain just made your legs weak. You were trying your best to stand still on your two feet.

“Hey.. Jin” you said in a meek voice.

“What is it?” he finally looked at your face

“Can we.. go back home now..I don’t.. feel good..” he held your face in his hands and sensed something was wrong.

“Yeah.. of course. Fuck why is your face going so pale? You’re cold. Are you sick?” It was only when Jin moved his hand away from your face he saw blood all over his hands that had transferred to your face.

“What-?” You fell but he caught you in his arms. “Y/n..”

“No.. no” You fell to the ground “I’m fine..”

The last you remember before losing consciousness was Jin’s petrified face as he had held you in his arms and fireworks

 “Jin look.. the fireworks” You said in a weak voice that he probably didn’t hear. he muttered something like a ‘what?’ or your name maybe you couldn’t tell . So you raised your hand and pointed at the ignited sky above your head, Jin looked above. 

“So pretty…” you said just before closing your eyes.


Thank you for reading it ♥(ˆ⌣ˆԅ) . Do tell me your opinions, do no hesitate to ask.

Love, Ri. 

Transfer (Request)

Request: hi, requests are open, right?? can i request a scenario where {y/n} is a new student and the teacher has mark give her a tour around the school, but she’s so clumsy (aka tripping/almost running into lockers) bc she thinks mark is really cute? thank you ^^

Mark x Reader

Word Count: 1.6k

Genre: Fluff

A/N: This was rlly cute to write honestly, idk if it’s actually any good, but I had fun writing it :’)

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The Big Yellow School Bus

Summary: Just when you thought you’ve settled in your new skin, your favorite bar gets invaded by the masculine, pine scent of a young man you used to call your fuckbuddy.

Genre: Angst, drama,romance, graphic smut

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Music: Love is a Dog from Hell by Mad Clown feat. Suran (please listen to Mad Clown and Suran; they are heavenly.)

Dedicated to @tayegi who inspired me to write again.

Words: 12,852 (what the fuck)


Originally posted by seenaa-bts

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I Will Not Lose!

Words: 6290

Genre: Fluff (maybe a bit too much haha), Magic!Au

Summary: A single bet - use every means to make Jeon Jungkook fall in love with you.  

Originally posted by bangts

Jeon Jungkook…

Sitting in the center of an intricate alchemy circle drawn with chalk - on the floor of Jungkook’s living room, you can only begin to question - how did this even happen?  

The mess had started with some sort of argument you had with him weeks ago. It was vague in your memory, only certain fragments were still intact.

“Y/N…She’s really beautiful isn’t she?” You overhear Jimin’s voice.

“Meh.” Jungkook answers with a shrug.

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Addictions (Jiyong)

Description: After Jiyong’s military service he comes back to you, a girl from his past only to find out she’s engaged to one of his colleagues. 

Genre: Smut/ Angst (Cheating) 

Part Two Part Three Part Four 

Originally posted by memoriestomelodies

Being with him was like taking your first drink of alcohol. At first taste bitter but the more you began to drink the harder you found it to stop. He made a raging alcoholic both metaphorically and literally. He was the one that had bought you your first drink and he was the first to give you your first orgasm. He was the man who you blamed for the addictions in your life. it was until he left the country that you finally found yourself once again. You kept a safe distance between you and bars, there was no need to tempt the devil. With distance both of your addictions slowly became memories. 

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Rayas de Tigre

Tony Padilla x Clay Jensen

Words: 1,845 or something lol

A/N: I know I´m not the greatest writer but I needed to do this :)

Clay has observed that there is a really scary beast crawling in the well-formed body of his dear friend –Skye has told him more than once that it is pretty normal if you live in the kind of place that the latino boy does, however the light eyed boy knows that there is something underneath-. (Maybe is his anxiety talking but Clay can’t control the overwhelming feeling of worry that pokes his ribs every single time he sees Tony absentmindedly rubbing his side.)

The thing that has been bothering him was the tanned skin of the mustang boy. His skin is smooth in almost every single place, yet, at the bottom of his back, there are some rough edges where his scars lay. And Clay has always wanted to touch them. (Always as in “a month ago”)

Not in a sexual or romantic way, of course not. They had been friends since forever, or what Clay thought it was forever.

He just simply felt like tracing those rough lines and pressing hard the tips of his fingers to make them go away, nothing else.

At first it wasn’t so hard to bear, he was too occupied by Hannah and her tapes to take notice or care about those evident marks, however when he finally snapped out of the horrific tapes, the knot in his throat unconsciously tightened whenever he had the chance to gaze at the back of his mate. (Brad noticed how Clay gulped and stood as far from the latino as he could manage after a few days, fortunately he had the decency to question what was wrong before punching him in a “brotherly” way on the left arm and “calming” him saying he had Tony protected from everything. That didn’t help.)

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HYFR - 1.

Pairing: Reader x Hoseok
Genre: Fratboy/Fuckboy AU, comedy, smut and mild angst in later parts
Summary: For the past couple of years, the Phi Kappa Psi boys are quickly rising on the list as the best frat on the USC campus. They’re all gorgeous, intelligent, fit, and just swell dudes. But it’s with their new pledges, the guys they call THE SUPREME SEVEN, that they’ll kick those Lambda Chi Alpha tools off their number one spot.




Chapter 1: They Lovin’ The Crew


It’s a new year, and that means new pledges.

It’s not really a period of time that Kim Seokjin, the president of the Phi Kappa Psi chapter at the University of Southern California, is really thrilled about, but after a disastrous bunch of pledges last year – when only one got initiated to stay in the house – he was glad for this year’s crop of fresh faces. Seokjin calls them the Supreme Seven because all of them seems to exhibit all the qualities that every Phi Kappa Psi brother should have – Charisma, Uniqueness, Nerve, and Talent - or something like that… (Hey, It’s not Seokjin’s fault that Rupaul’s Drag Race is a very entertaining show!)

There were over 350 rushees this year and these seven were some of the best of the bunch. Each of them ranked a place on the list of ‘Top 20 Rushees Every Frat Wanted to Acquire’ and with 20 fraternities on campus, that puts Phi Psi in the lead as the most desirable frat because those seven boys accepted their bid.

Seokjin knows with all his heart and soul that these seven new pledges will bring glory to Phi Psi name – if they get initiated, that is.

So let’s do a little introduction, shall we? Right here, right now, during this killer toga party that only the Phi Psi boys could throw and still make it feel fresh and new even though it has been done and beaten to death a billion times before.

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