pls expand on your ridiculous experiences during one semester at a fake college
okay I got a few asks about this so let me see what I can remember right now. These might not all be in chronological order
- At orientation, they were talking about the reservation near campus and all these pretty sites and this kid in the back of the auditorium goes “So uhh…heard this place might be built over a Native American burial ground?”
- The speaker: “…Let’s not think about that, okay?”
- The freshman were on campus alone for like a week and a half (other than the RA’s) before the other students and I just. The parties. Were out of control. An ambulance was called basically every night.
- I walked into the bathroom the first night there to find a girl literally dying because someone slipped something in her drink and she was having a Very Bad Reaction
- Sting- you know, the singer- ‘s son lived in my residence hall. This boy almost accidentally killed me on three separate occasions (while I was just trying to do my laundry)
- I told my family about this at Thanksgiving. Everyone in the room advised me to seduce him
- I ate breakfast in the dining hall exactly once. I got scrambled eggs. I noticed no one had brought out ketchup with the condiments and politely asked about it. I received glares from at least ten different people. Apparently people there don’t believe in ketchup on eggs.
- There were these two boys in my English class known as “The Lumbard Guys”. They didn’t live in my residence hall, but they would come over almost every night, start a party, and destroy part of the basement.
- At orientation this one kid got mad and set his shoe on fire to prove a point
- Also at orientation like??? My roommate disappeared???? And I never saw her again???
- Listen like…this campus just looked like the perfect setting for a horror film, but none of the people from the area got that. They all thought I was crazy until some comic from Comedy Central did a stand up act and said “Why the hell is this campus so creepy? I feel like I’m gonna leave here with someone else wearing my face!”. I felt way too validated.
- ALL OF MY CLASSES WERE SO FAKE
- My “math” class was actually a disguised home ec. course???? All we had were word problems that were incredibly detailed recipes or instructions on how to fix things. The teacher, who I swear to GOD was actually my Mr-Rogers-Wannabe guidance counselor from high school in disguise, spent more time trying to come up with names and backstories for the models in the text book than actually trying to teach
- I had to take a class called “first year seminar” because neither of my parents went to college. It was supposed to be teaching you about how the school works and stuff but SUPRISE BITCH WE’RE JUST GONNA YELL ABOUT RACISM AND PRIVELGE FOR AN HOUR.
- Literally that’s all we did. Just the whole class bonding over all these struggles we had gone through and getting fired up. Like, it was great, but I also ended up knowing very little about campus and school stuff bc that was the class that was supposed to be teaching me lmao
- My Psych teacher was fucking hysterical for the first few classes but then he just. Vanished. I had to drop the class
- My Fine Arts teacher just. Couldn’t stick to a teaching plan. Her entire wardrobe was scarves. She was very passionate about African masks. She had a flapper haircut. She spoke quietly, but with a marvelously forced tone of voice that I’m certain was her trying to sound impressive and hide a Boston accent. She didn’t seem to understand the year was 2014. She took us into the city to go to the Art Museum and we lost her in there, never to be seen again
- I’m not even kidding
- My “writing” teacher was my absolute fav omfg. She was this long grey haired hippie lady who worked as a nurse for the Grateful Dead and was still stuck there. She may or may not have hooked up with my uncle. I was her favorite student because one day I came in wearing a “HAIR” shirt. She wanted to take the class to England for the sole purpose of going on a Beatles tour
- But like…she did not teach a writing class omfg. She taught a social justice class. All we did was have informed debates about The Issues and listen to music and occasionally watch the Breakfast Club. Every time there was a big paper due on the syllabus, she’d just sit on her desk and go “I mean, I don’t have to cover anything, right? You guys know how to write!” Like I genuinely don’t think she knew what class she was teaching
- There was a boy who sat next to me in that class. He was deaf in one ear and used that as an excuse when he got caught blatantly not paying attention. It worked every time. But I was right next to him. I saw him playing Yu-Gi-Oh on some website on his phone under the table. One time we started talking about model cars and he pre-cummed.
- There was a boy who roamed the campus in a long black trench coat and a weird hat. I never saw his body and started to suspect he might not have one, just the theory of one. He took interest in me because I was the only person in class who ever got his Doctor Who jokes. He’d come up to me at dinner and blast quiz me on various nerd culture before running off and disappearing into the shadows. Just as I was starting to grudgingly accept I was probably going to have to eventually hook up with him for the greater good, I apparently offended him by saying I like Picard more than Kirk. He didn’t stick around to listen to my reasoning. Whenever I saw him after that he would loudly start talking about how great his girlfriend was. Everyone knew he was lying. I wonder if Kirk ever sucked his theoretical dick as well as I would have.
- I gave a football player a shout out on Yik Yak. He really appreciated it, and gave me some fries laced with weed as a thanks. That was such A Night ™ , I watched the Lorax and left the dimension.
- Every time we had dances, this creepy guy named Horace would find me and use my obvious discomfort to make me dance with him. He’d hold my wrists and shove his crotch on mine while vaguely swaying to the beat. I had to escape to the bathroom every few minutes. Finally the security just banned him from the events altogether. I can still see his face clearly in my mind.
- One night, I walked into the bathroom to find a perfect, untouched pizza laying on the floor…but not in a box. Someone literally just took it out of the box and laid it down. I’m still fuming.
- One time I was in the mostly empty library when I smelled something. I walked down the rows of shelves before rounding the corner, and found the President of the college hidden there, sitting on the floor, smoking, a bottle of vodka in his hands. We held eye contact for a solid minute. He slowly shook his head at me. I said “Sir, your house is like…literally across the street.” He shook his head more vigorously. I left the library.
- One night, I heard screaming. I looked out the window to find a girl in a giraffe costume scaling my building. People were throwing water bottles at her. I was concerned. I didn’t know who to talk to for answers.
- I was in line trying to pay for dinner. One of the lunch ladies climbed on top of the ice cream machine and refused to come down. Her friend came over and they started recreating the balcony scene from Romeo and Juliet. Very few people acknowledged it.
- Someone jacked up the soda dispenser so it was only dispensing beer. None of the staff cared enough to fix it.
- I caught my RA in the middle of a drug deal so she gave me a coupon for free ice cream
- Also side note: The soft served ice cream machine on campus was actually a frozen yogurt machine. I had no problem with that, but like, advertise correctly, you know? Nobody else seemed to understand my confusion. Nobody else seemed to understand that froyo and ice cream are two different things. What the hell.
- There were just…so many moths all over the campus. A terrifying amount. When it started getting colder I was like, finally, I won’t be attacked by moths anymore! Only for even more moths to appear. I asked a local about it. “Oh, those are the winter moths!” What the fuck are winter moths? What the fuck, Massachusetts? My friend back home grew convinced that Mothman was in the area. I was inclined to believe her. Sometimes I close my eyes and all I can see are moths everywhere, waiting for the moment to strike.
- I’ve encountered deer many times in my life. I know how they act around people. But the deer on this campus were just weird. They’d run out at people all the time. One almost shoved me into traffic.
- My roommate gave my phone number out to literally anyone she found who mentioned they liked to read or liked Doctor Who. She was concerned I had no friends. No one ever called.
- I met a small Greek girl in my Fine Arts class. Our first day of talking, she made me climb a mountain with her so she could get to tutoring, even though I had no reason to be in that building. Her roommates kept mysteriously disappearing. She was late to everything. She’d call me randomly to get food at 1 in the morning. She kept somehow breaking phones and tvs and other electronics. When I asked her how they kept breaking, she waved it off with “Oh, I have OCD. You wouldn’t understand”. I have OCD, and I still don’t understand. One time she invited me out with her friends from high school. I waited outside her building for two hours, while the other friends waited in the parking lot for two hours, because we didn’t know how to find each other. She eventually came outside at 10:30 pm. We went to Friendly’s. She made us stop at her house so she could grab something. We pulled up a long, winding driveway and stopped in a parking lot. At the end of the parking lot were stone stairs that lead up to a mansion on a hill. She ran inside and the rest of us stayed in the car, listening to High School Musical and talking about Supernatural. When she came out 40 minutes later we decided to try and prank her. It went wrong. We almost ran over her friend’s sister with the car. They invited me to a pumpkin patch. When I started complaining about my roommate, she asked me to move in with her. I thought about the other three girls who had seemingly gone missing. I politely declined. Six months after I left the school, I received a text from her asking for notes for an exam, and radio silence after that. I can’t find her on facebook. I fear she might have gone missing too.
- One night, as I was standing outside huddled in the cold, a boy came up and offered me a cigarette to help me stay warm. I turned it down, but he stood around talking to me for a few minutes afterwards. I felt absolutely no awkwardness at all. He was a musician from Colorado. He sang a bit of one of his songs. He was dropping out of school to go to California the next week. He told me I had beautiful eyes, but his were the most alive eyes I’ve ever seen so I couldn’t believe the compliment. We talked for about ten minutes and I fell a little bit in love. He had to rush off to a club meeting, but he told me he’d rather keep talking. He gave me the sweetest smile before he left. I didn’t get his last name or number and I never saw him again.
- There was a dance on Halloween. I couldn’t think of a sufficiently slutty yet classy costume, so I just went as Osgood from Doctor Who. When I got there there was a huge crowd, but people quickly grew bored and started leaving. There ended up being six people left (myself included). We stayed because we could see the upset faces of everyone who had planned the event, but actually had one of the most fun nights of my life. We- myself, the girl from across the hall, Trench Coat Boy, his tiny friend who never spoke, and a boy and girl I didn’t know who seemed to be professional dancers- danced nonstop for almost three hours. The strobe lights and poppy music solidified an unspoken bond. I had never and to this day haven’t felt as free as I did that night. The tiny quiet boy’s smile could have lit up a city. It’s etched into my mind. We all left the dance talking about the surreal feeling in the air, as if something had shifted. None of us ever mentioned the dance again. It’s still one of my fondest memories.
- For a solid month, there was someone in a gorilla costume running around campus.
- There was a rash of sexual assaults on campus. A gang of boys kept jumping girls in the woods. The only thing the school board did was give out free rape whistles at lunch one day. I missed that day, making me one of the only students on campus without a whistle. Later that night when I ordered pizza, the delivery guy tried to start up a conversation with me about all the assaults. He blamed the girls. I took back my tip.
- Sometimes the showers just…filled up with black sludge. No one knew why.
- The girls in the room next to me were very bizarre. They always shot me odd looks and whispered to each other constantly. I couldn’t figure out if they were sleeping together or not. They never washed their hands when we were in the bathroom.
- The doors to each dorm were thick and heavy and required effort to push them open. My roommate and I made sure to lock ours every night, and would triple check it. It swung open by itself almost every night. The channels on the tv would change with the remote equidistance away from us. Sometimes I heard humming in the showers when I was the only one in there.
- My roommate…deserves a whole separate post dedicated to her, honestly.
- She would call her mother and have her do her homework for her. She blasted music constantly, and it was either country or hard rap, nothing in between. She sexiled me constantly. I once walked in on anal. She’d meet guys on Tinder, fall in love with them after a couple of days, and then bring them into the school and into our room like it was no big deal. One of them made it clear he was a budding serial killer. She was in a new drama every week. One time someone called her a dilf on Yik Yak. She was firmly convinced her cousin was blonde because her aunt dyed her hair when she was pregnant. She tried her hardest to get me laid by a football player. She was the loudest drunk I’ve ever encountered. Honestly there’s just too much about her for this omfg
- John Zaffis, the famous paranormal researcher, came to the school on my birthday. I went because I’m a loser who’s been watching shows with him since I was a kid, and I was having a bad day so I decided it could be a treat. I sat in the front row. He held an uncomfortable amount of eye contact with me the entire presentation. He was impressed with my questions. He lamented about the fact he’s always cut out of movies or replaced by priests that look like him. He apparently came to the school every year around Halloween to do a ghost tour around the campus for the students. A girl allegedly killed herself in my floor’s bathroom. He apparently always got a lot of activity around the campus. Everyone in the freshman class started wondering if the rumors about the Native American burial ground were true.
- One time in “writing” class the teacher gave us a number and then whatever song came up as that when we put our music on shuffle we had to play for the class. I ended up with “Touch Me” from Spring Awakening. Midway through the song, the teacher from another class came to complain that they could hear everything. My teacher tried to defend that all music has an important message. “Molly, dear, tell her the message in this song!” I looked around the room and at the other teacher. “It’s about sex,” I said quietly. She stormed out of the room while the class started laughing.
- There was this girl that just had the natural ability to make anything boring. I feel bad saying that, because she’s such a sweet girl, and she’s smart, and she’s gorgeous, and she’s talented, but just…every time she says anything, it’s boring. I’m still friends with her on facebook, the talent transcends to writing as well. You could be having a fun, lively conversation and she could say something completely relevant to the point and yet it would still just be boring. It’s a baffling talent, I still don’t understand how she does it.
- There was a boy who’d come into my room. He lusted over my s’mores poptarts. He kept trying to hit the high notes in Broadway songs. He didn’t understand my sense of humor at all, so we both were constantly worried we were offending each other. He cried about Selena Gomez a lot.
- The dining hall only offered horrendous food. I had pasta almost every night because it was the only thing remotely edible. If you wanted good food, you had to go to Late Night, which was between like 10:30 and 1 I think??? They set it up specifically for stoners and people leaving parties. I was frequently the only sober person there. Except for the moths.
- The chief at the pasta place found out I like theater and got like…weirdly passionate about it. He kept telling me about different theater groups in the area and wanted to know if I was in the school musical. He asked me every time I went up for food.
- There was a disproportionate amount of large black birds to trees. It wasn’t hard to figure out why we so rarely saw smaller animals
- When I told my advisor I was thinking about leaving (mostly for financial reasons but also the fake classes were preventing me from getting an education I wanted, you know?), this little old man looked around his office as if checking for people listening in, then put his hand on top of mine, leaned in close, and whispered “Oh, you sweet little girl. Run as fast as you can.”
There’s definitely more but listen. This school was weird and fake and vaguely surreal and off-kilter. I am fully afraid that one day, years from now, I’m going to be driving through the back roads and pass the place where the campus should be, only I won’t find anything there at all, and won’t be able to find any trace of it ever existing. I won’t be able to find any record of it. I won’t be able to find a record of any of the people. Every time I think about this place I just get a weird feeling, like I somehow managed to escape the Twilight Zone but left a part of me behind in the process. Be careful when applying to college, kids.
I’m probably alone in this but my favorite Doctor Who joke to this day is when 9 and Rose go to the end of the world and a jukebox is uncovered to which Cassandra says “and now a traditional ballad of my people” Toxic by Britney Spears starts playing.
Summary: The five times you lay your eyes on Bucky.
Word Count: 1.8k
A/N: honestly I wrote this on a whim and I kinda love it ???
The first time you lay your eyes on Bucky you’re just starting your late night shift at the diner. Your eyes lock with his as you tie your apron around your waist, blushing as he sends a wink in your direction.
It was Friday night, which meant it was busy with intoxicated people flowing in from the pub across the street to the diner in search of some greasy food to satisfy their cravings.
You were overwhelmed, serving five tables all at once, trying to get their orders out in a timely fashion while refilling their drinks. It’s not like you meant to do it on purpose, you were just rushing through the orders that your hand knocked over a man’s drink as you took their menu.
“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry,” you stumbled out as you grabbed a towel, patting down the table before grabbing the now empty cup from it’s position on it’s side, a rough hand catching your wrist, “you better be gettin’ me a new one for free,” the man spat in your face aggressively before pushing you harshly away from the table making you stumble.
Tears formed in your eyes as you mumbled out an another apology, being cut off by an unfamiliar voice halfway through, “that’s no way to treat a lady,” the voice barked behind you, but it didn’t make you cower, it comforted you.
“And if you’ve got a problem with her you best be comin’ to me first,” whoever was behind you spoke again making the man nod his head before apologizing to you repeatedly.
You quickly walked away behind the counter, footsteps following you as you finally looked up to see Bucky’s concerned eyes ghost over your face, “he didn’t hurt ya, did he doll?” He asked in a gentle voice, nothing like he sounded just seconds ago.
Tears had spilled past your eyes and onto your cheek as you nodded, unable to form a sentence, still in shock and completely overwhelmed, “I promise he won’t be botherin’ you no more,” Bucky said again, a smile appearing on your face as he wiped away a stray tear.
“Thanks, Bucky,” you croaked as he let out a small chuckle, “anytime, doll,” he winked before he made his way out of the diner, a small group of men following him as they got onto their bikes, engines roaring to life.
Your eyes met Bucky’s one more time through the glass as he did a small salute with his fingers before riding away into the night leaving you with butterflies in your stomach and a hurricane of thoughts in your mind.
The second time you’d seen Bucky was walking home after a horrible date, your arms crossed over your chest as you kicked a couple of stray rocks and twigs with your heel clad shoes, not caring if they were getting scuffed all the while mumbling about how much of a prick your date was.
“Rough night?” A voice brought you out of your thoughts as you turned to your left to see Bucky leaning against his bike, arms crossed over his chest as his leather jacket and black jeans hugged every muscle.
“You wouldn’t believe it,” you chuckled dryly as you stood on the pavement in front of Bucky, “Lemme guess,” Bucky smirked as he straightened out his posture, “all talk no action sorta guy?” He guessed as you dropped your head, chuckling, “how’d you guess?” You asked almost rhetorically as Bucky shrugged his shoulders, “lucky guess,” he said as he moved to grab a helmet.
“How ‘bout I give you a ride home?” He suggested, holding out the helmet to you as you thought it over, “why not,” you shrugged before Bucky got on his bike, you following his actions as you loosely wrapped your arms around his torso, “you’re gonna have to hold on tighter than that, doll,” he chuckled as you tightened your grip on him as his engine roared to life once more.
“Thanks for the ride,” you said, passing his helmet to him as he smiled, “it was my pleasure, darlin’,” he said before you both fell into a sort of awkward silence, “well, I should get going,” you said as he nodded his head, “yeah for sure,” he said but you didn’t move.
You turned around taking one step before turning around hastily walking over to Bucky, giving him a kiss on his cheek, “thanks again,” you whispered as a blush crept over your cheeks, “like I said, anytime, doll,” he said, his breath fanning over your face from your close proximity.
Your breath hitched in your throat as his fingers moved a strand of hair behind your face, “better get home before your parents start to get worried darlin’,” he whispered as you nodded, practically skipping up the steps to your home.
The third time that your eyes landed on Bucky was when you were grabbing the mail on a Sunday morning, fluffly robe, cat pj pants, and koala slippers. Your heart kicked as his eyes landed on yours, a smirk making its way onto his face.
You cursed yourself for stepping out of the house in the state you were in, hoping that Bucky would continue to mow the neighbours lawn instead on striking up a conversation with you.
Luck was not on your side as Bucky jogged up to you, smirk not faltering.
“Mornin’ stranger,” he chuckled as you grabbed the multiple envelopes from your mailbox, “mornin’ Buck,” you giggled as he crossed his muscular arms over his chest, the tank top he was wearing left little to the imagination.
“You mowing lawns now?” You teased as he chuckled, “Mrs. Braverman needed a strong, handsome fella to help her out,” he winked as you rolled your eyes, “then get back to work, Barnes,” you said walking back towards your front door.
“I sure will, kitten,” he shouted back as you sighed knowing you had just gotten a knew nickname from him, “never again,” you mumbled to yourself, stepping inside the house, swearing to throw out those dreaded pyjama pants.
The fourth time you saw Bucky was when you walked passed an ally hearing someone groan in pain as you did. You told yourself that you should just ignore it, that it wasn’t a good idea to get mixed up with whoever’s business it was.
That was until you heard a man snicker, “should’a thought twice ‘bout challengin’ me, Barnes.”
You took a deep breath mustering up as much courage as you could before venturing into the alley, your heels clacking along the pavement, echoing so much that it got the men’s attention.
Bucky was on the ground, face bloodied as three men stood over him, “what’re you doin’ here, little lady,” one of the men snickered, coming closer to you. He reeked of body odour and whiskey, almost making you sick to your stomach, “let him go,” you said sternly, eyes flickering over to Bucky’s whose were pleading for you to just run.
“Or what?” They taunted as you rolled your eyes, “you really wanna beat up a lady? Go ahead,” you smirked as all the men snarled before brushing past you, “you’re lucky your girl saved you, Barnes,” they spat, “next time you won’t be lucky,” they barked before leaving the alley.
“Are you crazy!” Bucky gasped as he jumped up, slightly limping towards you, “don’t you ever do that again, ya hear me, doll?” He said, hands cupping your face as his desperate eyes searched yours.
“I couldn’t let them hurt you,” you whispered, his thumb rubbing over your cheeks as he closed his eyes, shaking his head, “let’s get out of here,” he said as you nodded. You wrapped your arm around his torso as he wrapped his around your shoulder for support before you made it to your house.
“Sit,” you commanded as he did what he was told, sitting on the covered toilet as you grabbed a bunch of medical supplies, “you’re lucky my parents are doctors,” you joked as you began cleaning his face, “that I am,” he mumbled, watching your concentrated expression as you moved on fixing him up.
“There,” you said, throwing the last piece of bloodied tissue in the trash, “all done,” you smiled as Bucky examined his face in the mirror, “you’re real good at this, sure you don’t got anyone else to practice on?” He half-joked as you chuckled, “I’m a fast learner,” you smiled as he brushed some of your hair behind you ear, cupping your jaw with his hand.
“Thank you,” he mumbled as your eyes fixated on each others. Everything around you seemed to still as Bucky slowly leaned in, until his lips were just inches from yours.
You wrapped your arms around his neck, standing on your tippie toes as you closed the space between the two of you, connecting your lips in a gentle kiss, Bucky’s free hand pulling you closer to him.
“You’re very welcome,” you winked as you pulled apart, leaving Bucky’s head spinning.
The fifth time you saw Bucky he was stood outside the carnival entrance, flipping a coin as he leaned against the wooden fence, eyes searching for your own. The second they met yours he dropped his coin and pushed off the fence to embrace you in a hug.
“You came,” he said, awestruck by your presence, “I told ya I would,” you said, wrapping your arms around his torso as he chuckled, pressing a kiss to your forehead before leading you inside.
It took weeks of convincing, but you had finally agreed on going on a date with Bucky. You were hesitant, not because you didn’t like him, but because your parent’s would surely have heart attacks if they found out you were going out with the town’s bike gang leader.
“I’m, uh, really happy you’re here,” Bucky said shyly as he intertwined his fingers with yours, a blush creeping up onto his cheeks, “is the infamous Bucky Barnes blushing?” You teased, tilting his chin up with your index and middle finger.
“Am not,” he said defensively, pulling you towards the ferris wheel, “I’m just a little cold,” he tried to cover up as you giggled, “whatever you say,” you teased as he wrapped his arms around your torso.
“It’s so beautiful,” you said in awe as the ferris wheel reached the top, “not as beautiful as you, doll,” Bucky quipped as you hid your face in the crook of his neck in a desperate attempt to hide your own blush.
“Oh is the infamous [Y/N] [Y/L/N] blushing,” Bucky mocked your previous words as you narrowed your eyes at him, “you’re lucky you’re cute,” you said as he pulled you closer to him, “ditto,” he mumbled against your lips before pressing them in a passionate kiss making your toes curl.
“You should sneak out more often,” Bucky chuckled as you whimpered at the loss of his lips against yours, “less talking more kissing,” you mumbled before threading your fingers through his hair as he happily pressed his lips against yours again.
Needless to say it was a bit difficult to keep your hickey’s covered from your parents as they scolded you.
Thank God for fall or else your parents would be livid about the marks on your thighs.
hi!!!!! can I please request for a minhyun college au? I am addicted to your writing (･´з`･) thank you in advance xxx
for nu’est ive decided it’d be cool to make them all medical students!! so consider it residency-college!au LOL~
specialty: minhyun is doing his residency in dermatology
is known as the “pretty boy” of the unit and other residents are always joking that patients favor him because,,,,,,,,well one he has gorgeous skin,,,,,,,but everything else about him is literally just as gorgeous
is really sweet and tries his best to be polite,,,,,,even if taking another 10 hour shift is literally going to Kill Him,,,,,minhyun just smiles and is like : ) it’s fine : ) im fine
his superiors like him the most and their favoritism shows because guess who doesn’t get yelled out for taking a five minute snack break? it’s minhyun
but even though he comes off so mannered and mature,,,,,he has a lil nerdy side,,,,,like his phone background is always his cute niece and him but one day someone noticed that his lock screen was literally a screenshot from the transformers movie,,,,,,,like,,,,,,,,,
everyone keeps asking if he’s dating and minhyun is just like,,,,i,,,,,d,,dating?!?!?!?! and they’re like oh my god you have the face and you’re telling us you haven’t used it yet
and minhyun is like ?!?! i use it everyday to eat, to read - and everyone is like oh jesus no that’s nOT WHat we MEANT
but if anyone as much as dares to try to do ‘corrupt’ minhyun (as dongho affectionately refers to it) minhyun just turns pink and bites his lips and is like i!! don’t know anything about that,,,,,
boy is already in residency and sometimes if a patient get too close he has to excuse himself,,,,,,,soft boy
speaking of dongho and the rest of nu’est they all do residency in the same hospital so every now and then they’ll meet up to eat lunch outside
and everyone swoons because they’re the ~visual residents~ a group of goodlooking guys in white doctors coats,,,,,,what a dREAM
and then dongho gets crumbs all over his scrubs and minhyun is like come here i need to clean it - don’t you dare run from me- come bacK
is really good at his job though, so much so that people are like he doesn’t even need to do residency he knows sO MUCh
graduated at the top of his class in med school, still studies as diligently as before, literally takes notes on e v e r y t h i n g the doctors say
jr jokes that when minhyun opens his own dermatology clinic he should give all of them face lifts but minhyun is like,,,,,,,,im not doing that im doing immunodermatology wanna hear what i learned about leprosy-
jr: i gtg rn i was just trying to make a joke i am so sorry
anyway you also work in the hospital,,,,,but not as a resident or anything you’re actually in the tech department
and you know about minhyun because how can you not,,,,,but also,,,,,,,,he’s called the tech department like a minimum of twenty times a week because for some reason he’s super smart
but takes like ten years to type in a patients chart notes and he’s always getting a bit confused with the hospitals interface
and you,,,,,,,dont mind being the one called to help him i mean like have you /SEEN/ him
just standing beside him is like basking in the sunlights glow and u dont mind. not one bit. tbh u r not gonna like lie when u see a call from the dermatology dept u basically fight people for the phone
buuuuut you also know that it’s a one sided kinda thing,,,because minhyun could have anyone,,,,,,,literally
u can tell from the fact that his lab coats pockets are always full of candy, letters, and more that both patients and staff give him and yeah it makes ur heart sink a bit but like,,,,
whatever the short moment where you get to stand beside him at the desk and tell him (for the 15th time) how to reset the scheduling system works like,,,,,it’s enough
which is why when you get called down again, minhyun voice sounding apologetic over the phone u cheerily tell him it’s no problem - you’ll be right down to see what happened
but since the elevator is taking too long u decide to go down the stairs where,,,,you hear voices echoing as you get closer to the floor ur supposed to meet minhyun on
and???? they sound familiar,,,,,one is obviously dongho’s,,,,,and the other???? minhyun?
and u stop your steps,,,listening to their echoing words
“are you going to ask them? minhyun it’s been two weeks since you decided to say something and you’re still putting it off.”
“,,,,,what if they don’t like me-”
“NO OFFENSE BUT THATS NOT POSSIBLE”
you blink,,,,wondering if you’re hearing another voice,,,,,and it is,,,,this one belongs to another resident. ren
“minhyun, seriously you’re handsome. i dont say that a lot. but ur handsome. very handsome. look at me minhyun does it look like i would lie.”
and finally,,,,the calmest voice of the bunch belong to jr: “you should go for it. i think they like you too.”
and you’re not sure what else they say because the door opens and a couple of nurses rush by you, their footsteps making noise
and in your head you’re wondering,,,,,,who is it that minhyun likes,,,,,,,
but not wanting to get lost in your thoughts you rush down coming out into the dermatology dept and seeing minhyun leaning against the wall near the elevators.
you pat his shoulder,,making him jump a bit and the both of you breaking into blushing apologizes but then he mumbles that he’s pretty sure something is going on with the vital monitor
and you go inside the room to check it out
and as you’re doing your work,,,,you don’t notice minhyun bite his lip,,,,shy eyes trying to avoid your figure in the center of the room
quietly fidgeting with his name tag pinned to his collar
and when you turn, smile on your face “done! it just got unhooked-”
“are you free,,,,,on sunday?”
minhyun’s sudden question catches you off guard and you’re like w-what?? and he’s like,,,,,,,, “i-,,,,i have a shift,,,,but i can- it ends at 8 so i could take u to dinner,,,,,maybe,,,,,-”
minhyun,,,,with all his pretty features and polite personality cannot seem to stutter out a date invitation
but,,,,you also cant believe ur ears???? the person minhyun liked?????was you???
and you’re like “d-don’t you not have many free days? you should rest-”
“it’s ok! i want to,,,,,spend it with you.”
there’s something of a shy smile on his face,,,,but his eyes are nervous and you’re always feeling your palms sweat
because god u really want to say yes,,,,the happiness in your stomach is turning to butterflies,,,,,but you also know that minhyun should rest
so you go “ok,,,,,but how about we do something simple,,,,like watch a movie at my place?”
and minhyun almost turns cherry red at the mention of coming over and he refuses,,,,,saying it’d be un-gentlemen-y of him but ur just like pleassse it’s fine
safe to say you guys do have that date at your place but you purposly pick a boring movie so minhyun falls asleep fifteen minutes in and you let the tired med student sleep soundly on your shoulder as you do your own thing
and ofc when he wakes up minhyun is a mess of “im sorrys” and “im not a creep i promise” but u just laugh and tell him it’s ok,,,,,it was a perfect first date because u were able to see him rest
which honestly just makes minhyun’s heart flutter even more about you,,,,,on the way home he texts ren and is like “i think they’re an angel,,,,,,,”
dating med student!minhyun is slow at first because he’s surprisingly shy about pda or skinship,,,,,to the point where when he first holds ur hand he has to let go 5 minutes later and be like “its not that i dont want to,,,its just,,,,,my hand got sweat and i didnt want u to think thats gross-” and u had to grab his hand back and be like idc if its sweaty i want to hold it forever, minhyun once he gets more comfortable has a habit for always dusting off your uniform or tucking strands of your hair back because he thinks u look cute when ur all neat and whatnot, tbh dongho and jr tell minhyun it might be a lil weird but u like it,,,its minhyun’s personality so u accept it, since he works super long hours u dont really get to see each other often but minhyun really likes it when u text him what ur doing after work esp if u include pictures, at first he’d just be like oh! cool :D or looks yummy! but as you two get closer he’ll kinda be a little sappy saying things like even your silhouette is pretty or i wish i could be beside you right now, a constant struggle is showing people photos of you and minhyun together looking cute in the hospital lobby doing peace signs and ur like that’s my boyfriend! and people are like no no no thats a celebrity honey and ur like,,,no,,,,,no he’s my bf,,,,,,,basically people r just really shocked because minhyun’s visuals are no joke, whenever someone confesses to minhyun whether it’s a patient or a staff he gets all embarrassed but also secretly reaLLY likes saying he has a significant other that he is head over heels for, ren makes fun of him so much for it he imitates his voice and calls out ur name and is like head !!! oveR HEELs~~~!! and minhyun is like pLEASE and ren is just kiss kiss love love u two are sooooo corny, on an anniversary minhyun had work but he sent you a video of him playing on the piano and singing your favorite love song and it legitimately made you tear up, does this thing where when he gets really really tired he’ll never admit it but one kiss from you makes it feel like he can take on the WORLD, an exchange resident named aaron comes to visit and minhyun introduces you to him and is like he’s my bff and aaron is just like “so what base have you and minhyun reac-oK FINE I WONT ASK”, those rare times where residents get more than a day off minhyun always insists on doing the absolute most for you and sometimes you have to literally argue with him to let you do something because he works so hard you want to support him and make it easy, you cooked for him once and you can’t tell if him telling you he LOVED it was fake or real,,,,,,,you guys got matching sweaters from the nu’est boys as a gift and they’re bright pink and corny and minhyun refuses to wear them until you giggled and put it on and minhyun melts for anything you do so he was like ok FINE, surprised you once by pulling you into a storage closet at the hospital and letting a hand slip up your shirt and you were like minhyun?? ?against his neck and he,,,,,couldn’t keep it up you felt his cheeks go hot and he was a stuttering mess like ten minutes in but he was also like i just,,,i really wanted you i dont know what came over me ,,,,,WHAT A FREAKING CUTIE AMIRIGHT THO,,,,promises that once he is done with residency he’s going to get a good job and take you on vacation for never leaving his side through the hardest years of his life and you just kiss his nose and tell him not to worry about it,,,,,but seriously the only thing on minhyun’s mind sometimes (which he finds fascinating) is how much he really rEALLY wants to make you happy,,,,,,,,,,he wants a future,,,,with you
Okay, but honestly I love Doctor Wong. I’m sure the Smith family won’t be going back to see her, but she really made the episode for me.
Rick and Morty surprised me by portraying therapy as a valid thing. Most of the time when I see a character in therapy in a comedy, especially one as dark and irreverent as Rick and Morty it’s portrayed as useless or worse, and the character is usually portrayed as someone weak and worthy of mockery for it. I was 100% expecting that from this episode.
And the episode seems like it’s going in that direction with Rick’s typical berating of Doctor Wong, but then it takes a hard left turn. It turns Rick’s attitude back on him and all but states his takedown of therapy is based in his unwillingness to do the work of therapy. He’s not being a cool, edgy smart guy who sees through the bullshit, he’s being a petulant child who dismisses everything he doesn’t want to do as stupid and a waste of time.
Also, poop jokes aside Doctor Wong is never portrayed as anything other than intelligent, insightful and sincere. She remains calm and never raises her voice even when Beth and Rick insult her to her face. It doesn’t come off as some fakey-happy calm either, just the professional attitude of someone who’s used to talking to people who have a low opinion of her vocation. It was honestly really important to me.