doctor dre not dr. dre

WHAT’S IN MY POCKETS?

Life as an emergency medicine intern can be pretty hectic, but having the right tools in your armamentarium can make things that much easier. 

Here are some of the things I carry around on a day to day basis in the emergency department plus a few extras:

Stethoscope

Personally I carry the Littmann Cardiology III Stethoscope. It has served me well for about 4 years now. I think it has one of the best acoustic qualities for those not going into Cardiology. Plus it comes in black!

Stethoscope Hip Clip

White coats get dirty in he emergency department, I stick to just my scrubs mostly. I give my neck a break from hanging my stethoscope around it and clip it to my scrubs pants. Your future orthopedic surgeon thanks you.

Tarascon Adult Emergency Medicine Pocketbook

This book has saved my butt multiple times, especially as a 4th year medical student on Sub-Internship rotations. Faster than opening up your phone and waiting for your WikiEM app to update. Just flip to the back,f ind what your are looking for and BAM! It is especially useful on international rotations when you don’t have internet or data service to spare.

LED Penlight

I think pens with LED lights are less harsh on the patients’ eyes. These pens are still very bright so don’t directly shine them into the patients’ eyes just near them, unless you’re a jerk doctor.

Sanford Guide to Antimicrobial Therapy

A great deal of emergency department patients are discharged or admitted on antibiotic therapy. This helps you decide which drug for which bug without having to guess or remember back to your microbiology block. What if it is male with a UTI not a female? Or a kid with pneumonia? What common bugs need what drugs? This book helps a lot. Warning: paper cuts.

Trauma Scissors 

Most trauma patients need their clothes removed. Those who are bleeding out and time is on the essence, whip out these babies and cut through almost anything. Be careful before they cut your dreams.

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Marvel Comics - Hip Hop Variant Covers

Extraordinary X-Men #1 (Artwork by Sanford Greene) / 3 Feet High and Rising by De La Soul 

Howard the Duck #1 (Artwork by Juan Doe) / Return to the 36 Chambers: The Dirty Versionby Ol’ Dirty Bastard

Invincible Iron Man #1 (Artwork by Brian Stelfreeze) / Get Rich or Die Tryin’ by 50 Cent 

Ms. Marvel #1 (Artwork by Jenny Frison) / The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill by Lauryn Hill 

Doctor Strange #1 (Artwork by Juan Doe) / The Chronic by Dr. Dre 

Sam Wilson, Captain America #1 (Artwork by Mahmud Asrar) / Long. Live. A$AP. by A$AP Rocky 

PATIENT QUOTES

Me: So tell me what brings you in today?

Patient: Oh No! I want an ugly doctor, you can’t give a hot doctor.

Me: Ok. (yells outside) Excuse me?! Can we get an ugly doctor in here? Where is he? (back to patient) I’ll be sure to note in your chart you want an ugly doctor next time, one so ugly they have to wear a bag on their head.

Patient: Thank you!

I went to the Olympics, got all the way to the end, and then lost to the last guy. The guy who won was Otherwize, from LA. It was a local thing. They had a bunch of crowd support there. When I rapped, he went and hid behind a video screen. He walked away while I was rapping. I didn’t have anyone to battle! I’d never been in a situation like that before. I went through a lot of people to get through to the end, and then he walked away while I was rapping. I’m like, “What the fuck do I do?” 

I was devastated.

I come off stage. I’m like, that’s it. It’s over for me. This kid from Interscope, Dean Geistlinger, walks over and he asks me for a copy of the CD. So I kind of just chuck it at him. It was The Slim Shady EP. We come back to Detroit, I have no fucking home, no idea what I’m gonna do. Then, a couple weeks later, we get a call. 

Marky Bass said, “Yo, we got a call from a doctor!”