doc hammer says things

In tonight’s episode of “Doc Hammer Says Stuff About Things” we deliver a shocking indictment of the decline of modern society’s utilization and respect for language.


This post proudly commemorates the glorious moment when I, not being able to think of a word I needed to express myself, ignored’s thesaurus function, and instead looked up an old deviantArt post of Doc’s in which I remembered him using a similar turn of phrase. “Fucking useless”? I think fucking not.

“Doc Hammer Says Things About Stuff”
Episode Number asdfkhjbmnbvr idfk fuck numbers.

In which I’m still ridiculously upset by the fact that Doc’s myspace posts are gone.

“I don’t fly. Not because I don’t have wings or that I am afraid of being unnaturally hurled through the skies like so much angular jet-boy. I don’t fly because I have a problem with my inner ear that makes flying super-extra-uncomfortable. Like a kinda painful "uncomfortable”. So, I took a train to Comic Con.
I got a sleeper car as to enjoy travel in the 19th Century elegance I have grown accustomed to. Sadly, most of the other travelers saw me not as the plumaged dandy, but as the tattooed spider in Birth No.14. No shit… If I was on that train for another few days the “good townspeople” would have found a way to procure torches and rakes as to properly chase me into a burning windmill.
One little kid was just daring enough to find me interesting, and would stare at me as much as he could before his mother grabbed him and explained how “my type” eat children. Insane, I know… I am so clearly a vegetarian, and haven’t supped on the fatty, oil-soaked flesh of a child since like high school.“

- Doc Hammer, via myspace.