dobbers

holy shit a very primary school feel when is when the dibber dobber kid sees you with something or doing something you’re not supposed to and theyre like IM TELLING and you try your hardest to bargain with them not to tell the teacher and ur flipping it like offering to buy them something from tuckshop or whatever and they wont have a bar of it and they throw their hand up or march to the teacher like pushing past all the kids to get to the teacher and ur just there like fUCKK and u run and hide and see the kid talking to the teacher from a distance and the teacher is listening to them like ‘ok yes show me where they are’ and then the teacher starts walking behind the kid towards where you were and you’re just like holy fuck this is the day i die and then you’re on the run through the school like a criminal walking around trying to act casual but also avoid the teacher and the fukn dibber dobber and then everyone finds out you’re in trouble and someone goes THERE THEY ARE and ur just like gulp RIP and the dibber dobber is pointing to you with their eyebrows up and looking towards the teacher like hurry up come catch them and ur just like holy fuck i’ve big storm comin and the teacher see’s you and is like ‘ah right!’ and anyway the teacher tells u off and ur just there like deny deny DENY but then you get caught out and ur like ok fuk i did it and the fukin kid is standing there with a staunch pose and their arms crossed and ur just looking at the kid like ur such a little FUK just wait til i catch u doing something wrong u little TWIT fukin eggshells from now on b*tch

WOO-OOO! 8VVVV
Or is that WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-OOO!

Scrooge about to coconut the hell out of whoever’s blocking their way to ringside seats no doubt also SHUT IT GLOMGOLD YE DAFT DOBBER HE DECKS A KILT TOO SEE >8UUUUUUU

Not pictured, Donald doing his best “I didn’t sign up for this” Kurt Angle impression on the sidelines. 

Scotsman vs Aku: How it should have ended.
  • Aku: Ugh why'd he have to go and mention the samur-*punched in the jaw* WHAT?!
  • Scotsman: I'M BACK! I AIN'T DONE WIT YE YET, SMOKEY!
  • Aku: WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE?! WHY DID THAT HURT?!
  • Scotsman: I'M HERE BECAUSE YOU INTERRUPTED ME. THATS BLOODY RUDE! AND I CAN HURT YE BECAUSE NO MORTAL WEAPON CAN HURT YE. BUT THESE FISTS ARE NO LONGER BOUND BY THE MORTAL COIL! NOW YE SIT YER NON EXISTENT BUTT THERE AND WAIT TIL I FINISH!
  • Aku: ...what?
  • Scotsman: SHUT YER PUS! YA HACKIT SCROTE DOBBER, OAF LOOKIN, EYE LASER SHOOTIN, LAVVEY HEID, EXTRA THICK NUGGET, SAMURAI FEARIN, JOBBY HOWLIN, SCUNNER, CLAWBAW, TWALLY WASHER, KNOBDOBBER, GOMERIL-
  • Aku: I have no idea what you are saying.
  • Scotsman: DON'T MAKE ME REPEAT MYSELF! NOW SHUT YER GEGGIE!
Son of a... (Part 2)

Why hello my sweet little doves!! Ever feel like just crawling under a rock and disappearing?? Asking for a friend…

Anyways, this is the second (and final) part of this story. Part 1 is here! Hopefully you don’t hate it, not that I have the energy to care right now anyways! 😂

Prompts: Meg’s Birthday Challenge my prompt was the song “Still Into You” by Paramore. @wildfirewinchester

And for TaleTeller’s What If Challenge
I had the prompt “What if a witch’s spell turned Dean into a ferret?” @sdavid09

Dean x reader, dating hunters

Warnings: my typical swearing, but overall pretty fluffy

Word count: just under 1300 ————————————————————————

(Part 1 first)

You had just finished eating the meatiest sandwich you could make when it finally happened. Dean the Ferret was on the table next to you, munching away at the sandwich meat Sam had cut up for him when you heard, “God, I was freaking hungry! Damn rodent metabolism!”

Your head snapped down to your boyfriend, “Dean?”

The tiny gray ferret stopped eating and looked you straight in the eyes, “Y/N? Babe, can you hear me?”

“I can hear you!!” you exclaimed excitedly.

“It’s working?” Sam asked, looking between you and his brother.

“Yeah, it is!” you answered him before turning back to the ferret, “Oh, Dean I’m so sorry! Are you OK?” You scratched his ears, trying to comfort him.

“Been better. I’m definitely not a fan of being this size, but…” he stopped as you ran your fingers down his long spine, “Mmm, that feels amazing…” You chuckled and repeated the motion.

“What’s he saying? Is he alright?” Sam inquired.

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something brewing: part i

The moral of this story is that I need to not do the stupid thing and accidentally press save draft instead of queue, since this was supposed to be posted at least a week ago. Oops. Anyway, this is part I of the previously discussed barista au, because I toyed with the idea for a while and it stuck around. Yes, I recognise the title is a horrible pun, but I couldn’t resist. I hope that everyone who liked the idea of this isn’t disappointed.

Premise: Oliver is a sports science student who has to maintain his grades in order to retain his scholarship and has a good chance of playing football professionally. Despite that, he’s serious about wanting to do well. His flatmates spend more time drunk than they do sober, so he’s given up trying to work at home and finds a little coffee shop to study in. What he doesn’t expect is to develop a painful, near-instantaneous, utterly inconvenient crush on one of the baristas.


i: marcus.

It was just past 5pm, and Marcus was comfortably settled into work for the evening. There was a lazy hum of guitar as his background noise of preference, the coffee shop wasn’t too crowded and that gave him time to open his textbook underneath the counter in between making drinks while Susan handled the customers and sorted out any food orders. The page was marked with the casual ease of someone who was used to reading in what spare moments he had, and ain’t that the truth? Honestly, he had trouble absorbing it all at once, so taking information in bit by bit while he did other tasks always worked far better for him, letting him actually retain it instead of forgetting it immediately after reading.

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Ozark Encyclopedia – D – Dirt Dauber's Nest

Crushed for skin issues - “I have seen skin eruptions treated with mud supplied by crushing dirt-dobbers’ nests and adding water mud from these nests is credited with some astringent virtue not found in ordinary earth.” ~Randolph OMF 110

Crushed and used for diaper rash – “Mama would take a dirt daubber’s nest when a baby had a diaper rash. She’d go out and get one and mash it up until it was powdery. Then she’d put it in a white cloth and tie a string around it and powder it on the baby’s bottom. It cleared the diaper rash up.” ~Carter and Krause HRIO 31

For a boil – “Take a dirt dobber’s nest and powder it. Put it into a thin cloth and dust on a boil or open sore.” ~Parler FBA II 1563

For a sprained ankle – “For sprained ankle make a poultice from dirt dauber’s nests.” ~Parler FBA III 3220


Carter, Kay & Bonnie Krause Home Remedies of the Illinois Ozarks (HRIO)

Parler, Mary Celestia Folk Beliefs from Arkansas (FBA)

Randolph, Vance Ozark Magic and Folklore (OMF)

43. Charles Xavier (Request)

Request: Could you do two imagines for Charles Xavier where he says #27 and #43 to the reader?

Afternoon all! This is another Charles Xavier request completed, hopefully miss or mr or mrs requester you enjoy. I hope you enjoy this most fabulous of thursdays (or whatever day you are reading on) and a Happy Reading to you!

~Tab

“YOU DID WHAT?!” Charles sounded a teensy bit mad. You were sat on the couch, avoiding his gaze as he paced in front of you. You leaned on the arm of the couch, pretty relaxed. You were pretty much convinced it wasn’t your fault… Not like Charles would see it that way though.

“Well… he was annoying me.” You said petulantly. It wasn’t your fault. Beast was irritating you. He was teasing you about liking Charles… So you shot at the chandelier he was swinging on.

“Hank could’ve got hurt! Also, that was a good chandelier… that was a great chandelier. If anything I’m more annoyed about the chandelier than Hank. But what on Earth possessed you to just shoot at the it so both Hank and it fell?” Charles asked, pacing back and forth, arms waving about in the air. He was ranting at this point. Hank was sat in the corner of the room. Dibber dobber. When Charles had come down stairs and seen everything, he had asked what happened and Hank had oh-so-helpfully pointed at you. You glared at him. Tattle tale. Meanie Beanie. A thousand other rhymes that essentially meant he shouldn’t have dobbed you in. Hank hadn’t been hurt. You knew he wouldn’t be. He’d been his blue self when he was on that chandelier. He knew he deserved you knocking it down. He’d been teasing RELENTLESSY and it just hit a nerve.

“Well? Are you going to answer or do I need to read your mind?” He stopped, right in front of you.

“He was just annoying me and teasing me and so I shot at it to shut him up. I knew he wouldn’t get hurt!” You explained… though it did sound a little whiny. Well… it wasn’t fair. It was Hank who started it all.

“Say sorry to Hank.” You frowned. You were not saying sorry to Hank.

“Say sorry to Hank.” He repeated. You frowned lower.

Charles raised an eyebrow.

“Fine! Sorry Hank.” Hank nodded. He’d been quite good. He didn’t blame you. He knew he’d crossed a line with his teasing. He left the room quietly.

“Can I go now?” You asked impatiently.

“Y/N… You don’t seem to be taking this very seriously.”

“I am taking it seriously. But I apologized to Hank and we’re ok. He knew he crossed a line with his teasing!” You stood up now. You were frustrated. You did not want to stay sat any more.

“What on earth did he say that was so bad?”

“HE WAS TEASING ME ABOUT YOU, GODDAMMIT!” You shouted before covering your mouth in shock. Charles widened his eyes in surprise.

“Me?” He asked. You shook your head. You had not meant to tell him that.

“Well… I can live with that.” He said, nodding to himself, a small smirk playing on his lips. You looked at him confused.

“What?” You asked. He didn’t reply. He just leant down and kissed you.

The officer smiled. “Old fool. I have five men with me.”
Yoren spat. “Happens I got thirty.”
The gold cloak laughed. “This lot?” said a big lout with a broken nose. “Who‟s first?” he shouted, showing his steel.
Tarber plucked a pitchfork out of a bale of hay. “I am.”
“No, I am,” called Cutjack, the plump stonemason, pulling his hammer off the leather apron he always wore.
“Me.” Kurz came up off the ground with his skinning knife in hand.
“Me and him.” Koss strung his longbow.
“All of us,” said Reysen, snatching up the tall hardwood walking staff he carried.
Dobber stepped naked out of the bathhouse with his clothes in a bundle, saw what was happening, and dropped everything
but his dagger. “Is it a fight?” he asked.
“I guess,” said Hot Pie, scrambling on all fours for a big rock to throw. Arya could not believe what she was seeing. She hated Hot Pie! Why would he risk himself for her?
The one with the broken nose still thought it was funny. “You girls put away them rocks and sticks before you get spanked.
None of you knows what end of a sword to hold.”
“I do!” Arya wouldn’t let them die for her like Syrio. She wouldn’t! Shoving through the hedge with Needle in hand, she slid into a water dancer’s stance. 

Finally, after a nightmarish day when the column advanced a bare mile and lost a dozen horses and four men, Lord Peasebury turned against the northmen. “This march was madness. More dying every day, and for what? Some girl?”
“Ned’s girl,” said Morgan Liddle. He was the second of three sons, so the other wolves called him Middle Liddle, though not often in his hearing. It was Morgan who had almost slain Asha in the fight by Deepwood Motte. He had come to her later, on the march, to beg her pardon … for calling her cunt in his battle lust, not for trying to split her head open with an axe.
“Ned’s girl,” echoed Big Bucket Wull. “And we should have had her and the castle both if you prancing southron jackanapes didn’t piss your satin breeches at a little snow.”
“A little snow?” Peasebury’s soft girlish mouth twisted in fury. “Your ill counsel forced this march upon us, Wull. I am starting to suspect you have been Bolton’s creature all along. Is that the way of it? Did he send you to us to whisper poison in the king’s ear?”
Big Bucket laughed in his face. “Lord Pea Pod. If you were a man, I would kill you for that, but my sword is made of too fine a steel to besmirch with craven’s blood.” He took a drink of ale and wiped his mouth. “Aye, men are dying. More will die before we see Winterfell. What of it? This is war. Men die in war. That is as it should be. As it has always been.”
Ser Corliss Penny gave the clan chief an incredulous look. “Do you want to die, Wull?”
That seemed to amuse the northman. “I want to live forever in a land where summer lasts a thousand years. I want a castle in the clouds where I can look down over the world. I want to be six-and-twenty again. When I was six-and-twenty I could fight all day and fuck all night. What men want does not matter.
“Winter is almost upon us, boy. And winter is death. I would sooner my men die fighting for the Ned’s little girl than alone and hungry in the snow, weeping tears that freeze upon their cheeks. No one sings songs of men who die like that. As for me, I am old. This will be my last winter. Let me bathe in Bolton blood before I die. I want to feel it spatter across my face when my axe bites deep into a Bolton skull. I want to lick it off my lips and die with the taste of it on my tongue.”

Top 100 Most Beautiful British Slang Words and Phrases

1. Tosser – Idiot
2. Cock-up – Screw up
3. Bloody – Damn
4. Give You A Bell – Call you
5. Blimey! – My Goodness
6. Wanker – Idiot
7. Gutted – Devastated
8. Bespoke – Custom Made
9. Chuffed – Proud
10. Fancy – Like
11. Sod Off – Piss off
12. Lost the Plot – Gone Crazy
13. Fortnight – Two Weeks
14. Sorted – Arranged
15. Hoover – Vaccum
16. Kip – Sleep or nap
17. Bee’s Knees – Awesome
18. Know Your Onions – Knowledgeable
19. Dodgy – Suspicious
20. Wonky – Not right
21. Wicked – Cool!
22. Whinge – Whine
23. Tad – Little bit
24. Tenner – £10
25. Fiver – £5
26. Skive – Lazy or avoid doing something
27. Toff – Upper Class Person
28. Punter – Customer/Prostitute’s Client
29. Scouser – Someone from Liverpool
30. Quid – £
31. Taking the Piss – Screwing around32. Pissed – Drunk
33. Loo – Toilet
34. Nicked – Stolen
35. Nutter – Crazy Person
36. Knackered – Tired
37. Gobsmacked – Amazed
38. Dog’s Bollocks – Awesome
39. Chap – Male or friend
40. Bugger – Jerk
41. Bog Roll – Toilet Paper
42. Bob’s Your Uncle – There you go!
43. Anti-Clockwise – We Say Counter Clockwise
44. C of E – Church of England
45. Pants – Panties
46. Throw a Spanner in the Works – Screw up
47. Zed – We say ZZZZZZZ
48. Absobloodylootely – YES!
49. Nosh – Food
50. One Off – One time only
51. Shambles – Mess
52. Arse-over-tit – Fall over
53. Brilliant! – Great!
54. Dog’s Dinner – Dressed Nicely
55. Up for it – Willing to have sex
56. On the Pull – Looking for sex
57. Made Redundant – Fired from a job
58. Easy Peasy – Easy
59. See a Man About a Dog – Do a deal or take a dump
60. Up the Duff – Pregnant
61. DIY – Do It Yourself home improvements
62. Chat Up – Flirt
63. Fit – Hot
64. Arse – Ass
65. Strawberry Creams – Breasts
66. Shag – Screw
67. Gentleman Sausage – Penis
68. Twigs & Berries – Genitalia
69. Fanny – Vagina
70. Bollocks – Balls
71. Ponce – Poser
72. Don’t Get Your Knickers in a Twist – Don’t Get worked up
73. The Telly – Television
74. Bangers – Sausage
75. Chips – French Fries
76. Daft Cow – Idiot
77. Do – Party
78. Uni – College/University
79. Starkers – Naked
80. Smeg – From Red Dwarf
81. Bits ‘n Bobs – Various things
82. Anorak – A person weirdly interested in something
83. Shambles – bad shape/plan gone wrong
84. I’m Off to Bedfordshire – Going to bed
85. Her Majesty’s Pleasure – To be in prison
86. Horses for Courses – Won’t work for someone else
87. John Thomas – Penis
88. Plastered – Drunk
89. Meat and Two Veg – Genitalia
90. Knob Head – Idiot/Dickhead
91. Knob – Penis
92. Chav – White trash
93. It`s monkeys outside – it is very cold
94. Stag Night – Bachelor Party
95. Ace – Cool!
96. Plonker – Idiot
97. Dobber – Penis
98. BellEnd – Penis
99. Blighty – Britain
100. Rubbish – Garbage or ‘That’s crap!’

Fluorescent Adolescent
Arctic Monkeys
Fluorescent Adolescent

“Flicking through a little book of sex tips
Remember when the boys were all electric?
Now when she tells she’s gonna get it
I’m guessing that she’d rather just forget it
Clinging to not getting sentimental
Said she wasn’t going but she went still
Likes her gentlemen not to be gentle
Was it a mecca dobber or a betting pencil?

Oh that boy’s a slag
The best you ever had
The best you ever had
Is just a memory and those dreams
Weren’t as daft as they seemed
Not as daft as they seemed
My love when you dream them up
Flow, where did you go?
Where did you go?
Where did you go?”

Happy Bday Alex Turner!

We should all have the right to live in a different country and say these! For 1D who aggres?

1. Tosser – Idiot
2. Cock-up – Screw up
3. Bloody – Damn
4. Give You A Bell – Call you
5. Blimey! – My Goodness
6. Wanker – Idiot
7. Gutted – Devastated
8. Bespoke – Custom Made
9. Chuffed – Proud
10. Fancy – Like
11. Sod Off – Piss off
12. Lost the Plot – Gone Crazy
13. Fortnight – Two Weeks
14. Sorted – Arranged
15. Hoover – Vaccum
16. Kip – Sleep or nap
17. Bee’s Knees – Awesome
18. Know Your Onions – Knowledgeable
19. Dodgy – Suspicious
20. Wonky – Not right
21. Wicked – Cool!
22. Whinge – Whine
23. Tad – Little bit
24. Tenner – £10
25. Fiver – £5
26. Skive – Lazy or avoid doing something
27. Toff – Upper Class Person
28. Punter – Customer/Prostitute’s Client
29. Scouser – Someone from Liverpool
30. Quid – £
31. Taking the Piss – Screwing around32. Pissed – Drunk
33. Loo – Toilet
34. Nicked – Stolen
35. Nutter – Crazy Person
36. Knackered – Tired
37. Gobsmacked – Amazed
38. Dog’s Bollocks – Awesome
39. Chap – Male or friend
40. Bugger – Jerk
41. Bog Roll – Toilet Paper
42. Bob’s Your Uncle – There you go!
43. Anti-Clockwise – We Say Counter Clockwise
44. C of E – Church of England
45. Pants – Panties
46. Throw a Spanner in the Works – Screw up
47. Zed – We say ZZZZZZZ
48. Absobloodylootely – YES!
49. Nosh – Food
50. One Off – One time only
51. Shambles – Mess
52. Arse-over-tit – Fall over
53. Brilliant! – Great!
54. Dog’s Dinner – Dressed Nicely
55. Up for it – Willing to have sex
56. On the Pull – Looking for sex
57. Made Redundant – Fired from a job
58. Easy Peasy – Easy
59. See a Man About a Dog – Do a deal or take a dump
60. Up the Duff – Pregnant
61. DIY – Do It Yourself home improvements
62. Chat Up – Flirt
63. Fit – Hot
64. Arse – Ass
65. Strawberry Creams – Breasts
66. Shag – Screw
67. Gentleman Sausage – Penis
68. Twigs & Berries – Genitalia
69. Fanny – Vagina
70. Bollocks – Balls
71. Ponce – Poser
72. Don’t Get Your Knickers in a Twist – Don’t Get worked up
73. The Telly – Television
74. Bangers – Sausage
75. Chips – French Fries
76. Daft Cow – Idiot
77. Do – Party
78. Uni – College/University
79. Starkers – Naked
80. Smeg – From Red Dwarf
81. Bits ‘n Bobs – Various things
82. Anorak – A person weirdly interested in something
83. Shambles – bad shape/plan gone wrong
84. I’m Off to Bedfordshire – Going to bed
85. Her Majesty’s Pleasure – To be in prison
86. Horses for Courses – Won’t work for someone else
87. John Thomas – Penis
88. Plastered – Drunk
89. Meat and Two Veg – Genitalia
90. Knob Head – Idiot/Dickhead
91. Knob – Penis
92. Chav – White trash
93. It`s monkeys outside – it is very cold
94. Stag Night – Bachelor Party
95. Ace – Cool!
96. Plonker – Idiot
97. Dobber – Penis
98. BellEnd – Penis
99. Blighty – Britain
100. Rubbish – Garbage or ‘That’s crap!’

Preference #29

The Arctic Monkeys song that resembles your relationship:

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Fluorescent Adolescent
Arctic Monkeys
Fluorescent Adolescent

You used to get it in your fishnets
Now you only get it in your night dress
Discarded all the naughty nights for niceness
Landed in a very common crisis
Everything’s in order in a black hole
Nothing seems as pretty as the past though
That Bloody Mary’s lacking a Tabasco
Remember when he used to be a rascal?

Oh that boy’s a slag
The best you ever had
The best you ever had
Is just a memory and those dreams
Not as daft as they seem
Not as daft as they seem
My love when you dream them up…

Flicking through a little book of sex tips
Remember when the boys were all electric?
Now when she tells she’s gonna get it
I’m guessing that she’d rather just forget it
Clinging to not getting sentimental
Said she wasn’t going but she went still
Likes her gentlemen to not be gentle
Was it a Mecca Dobber or a betting pencil?

Oh that boy’s a slag
The best you ever had
The best you ever had
Is just a memory and those dreams
Weren’t as daft as they seem
Not as daft as they seem
My love when you dream them up
Oh, where did you go?
Where did you go?
Where did you go? Woah.

Falling about
You took a left off Last Laugh Lane
You just sounded it out
You’re not coming back again.

Falling about
You took a left off Last Laugh Lane
You just sounded it out
You’re not coming back again.

You used to get it in your fishnets
Now you only get it in your night dress
Started all the naughty nights with niceness
Landed in a very common crisis
Everything’s in order in a black hole
Everything was pretty in the past though
That Bloody Mary’s lacking in tabasco
Remember when he used to be a rascal?