do-this-immediately

Marlene: “I have two beautiful ladies standing before me, but I have only one photo in my hand and this photo represents the one of you that will still be in the running towards becoming Red Coat. I will only call one name and the girl that I do not call must immediately return to your lair here, pack her coat and go home…. Aria, while it makes a lot of sense for you to be involved as we have been dropping clues since season 1, we think you being red coat will distract you from Ezra…so Sara Harvey…you’re red coat, and also black widow, A, uber A, gossip girl, the new bachelorette. And the new member of fifth Harmony. “

anonymous asked:

Mr. Handman.... man me a hand... bum bum bum bum

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Villain Academy, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Yuuei High, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the leader of the entire League of Villains. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across Japan and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Noumu Army and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

anyone else still sometimes catch themselves thinking about how after all those years of idolizing dave strider and after all that time in the void session wondering and anticipating and nervously awaiting this theoretical possibility that he might get the chance to meet him, dirk finally fucking sits down with dave one on one hours from the final battle and like wow fucking surprise motherfucker

he gets to find out his literal worst fears were ACTUALLY true! the version of him that dave knew actually did, in fact, do his level best to ruin dave’s life and was an abusive, toxic influence from day one and throughout to the point where dave can’t even look at him without flinching! 

this coming at a time when dirk is already horrendously low on himself, his relationship with Jake literally just blew up like 3 hours ago and if the AR thing went down even remotely the same way there was also that and holy hell dude what a time to be informed about the existence of Bro Strider. Dirk is sitting there thinking he was a toxic influence to Jake from moment one and probably all of his friends the whole time and here Dave is confirming everything from a parallel perspective? 

you can just see this horrible gut clenching moment when this utterly defeated Dirk just meekly accepts that this other version of himself is reflective of his true innermost self and has justifiably ruined any chance he ever had of impressing or even knowing Dave

– and then you see Dave just immediately lift it off him, even get kinda angry at him for having the audacity to even try accepting it that way, you can FEEL Dave’s fucking confusion because he went in guns blazing expecting a confrontation with someone as impossible and inscrutable as Bro was. Dave went in expecting to punch a brick wall and get nowhere, and instead he got Dirk “you’re absolutely right and I’m so fucking sorry I ruined your life” Strider 

and from Dirk’s pov, listening to this, watching this, having this realization that this dave isn’t an untouchable, aloof, mysterious and mythical heroic figure of legend at all, but that only makes him MORE worthy of idolization in all the ways that genuinely matter – and simultaneously thinking that he’s already sabotaged himself out of the chance to know him at all.

It’s like, god, you know those hyperrealistic nightmares people have sometimes that are so fucking scary because they’re indistinguishable from real life, the ones where after you wake up it takes a long time for the understanding that it was actually just a dream to hit you and then you want to cry with relief? 

For Dirk this had to have been so much like that, the whiplash between being 100% sure that Dave was just going to say what he needed to say and then never speak to him again (and knowing Dirk would have considered it completely justified and never questioned his right to do so jesus christ) followed IMMEDIATELY by Dave just being like no you don’t get it, THIS you, this version of you, what I am looking for deep down in my fucking SOUL is for this you that you are right now to be a person that I can have in my life to tell me that I’m okay, that you’re okay, that WE’RE okay – and after fifteen minutes talking to you I can already immediately tell that you ARE that person. 

Dirk’s friends were always only interested in denying the possibility that Dirk could ever truly become a monster, they could never have possibly understood just how DARK Dirk is at his most self destructive, and that’s part of why their reassurances were always hollow for him – they didn’t GET IT, right, they never could have followed the rabbit hole all the way down, so what did they know? But this guy, Dave Strider, has literally seen Dirk at his worst, has lived through the actual reality of the worst things living inside the full-picture potential of Dirk Strider, has dealt with that to great personal detriment and is fucking STILL sitting here telling him “I can tell that you are different, I can tell that you are better, and I am willing to trust you and help you to become a better person than the guy I knew because at the end of the fucking day, you are too important to me to give up on”

like yeah confronting dirk with all of that was what dave needed absolutely but BEING confronted and ultimately forgiven by dave was what dirk needed too, just as much

in conclusion homestuck is good

INTJs are the type of people to offhandedly mention wanting to learn some skill, then not talk about it for years then suddenly “Oh yeah I learnt how to knit 3 months ago.”, “I practiced the ‘arm wave’ in year 10 once”, “Oh I picked up a little sign language 4 years ago.”

bts scenario: they wake you up sexually

thank you for your request, baby! hope you don’t mind that i changed it slightly. xx

requests: open

++++

jin: jin was always willing and ready to pleasure his s/o, and you just looked so beautiful in the low light from the sun. he leaned in and placed a chaste kiss on your lips, before moving across your face and down your neck. finding that one spot he knew made you squirm, he bit down and he could feel you shudder under his skin. as you came to you whispered, “jinnie,” to which he just laughed and continued his ministrations leaving hickies anywhere and everywhere. 

Originally posted by strawberrie-kookie

yoongi: yoongi could barely hold himself back from your soft skin peaking out from under the shirt you were wearing, his shirt that is. you softly moaned in your sleep as he readjusted your body. yoongi brought himself into a push up position over your body before softly grinding down. your body reacted with his immediately and your cheeks flushed as your eyes opened. “good morning princess,” he whispered into your ear before grinding harder onto you again.

Originally posted by remartins97

hoseok: you were flat on your stomach, your shirt had ridden up to expose your lower back. hobi took one look at you and he could already feel himself hardening. he sat up and placed his body on your upper thighs as he started to caress your body, slowly awakening you. upon waking up you could feel the hard on pressed against your backside. you pushed your hips backwards, making your butt grind against him, he moaned and you knew you were in for a pleasurable morning.

Originally posted by jjang-pandaa

namjoon: namjoon woke up with your soft body pressed against his in a spooning position. he could feel his morning wood as he moved slightly. before he could stop himself, he was slowly grinding against you while pulling you closer to his body by wrapping an arm around your chest. the feeling of his movements and the heavy breaths against your ear lulled you from sleep. “joonie?” you questioned before he moaned directly into your ear. luckily, he chose the right girlfriend, who was always up for sex, and you flipped over so you were straddling him within seconds.

Originally posted by https-km

jimin: jimin woke up with you on his chest, sleeping peacefully. he softly stroked your hair as he smiled down at you. from his movements, your body pressed closer to his unintentionally. the feeling of your soft body moving on top of his was too much and he quickly felt himself hardening. you continued to move your body against his and it soon became too much. jimin gently shook your arms as he whispered into your ear, “wake up babygirl, daddy’s gotta fuck you nice and slow.”

Originally posted by hunnysyub

taehyung: taehyung, always quite playful, woke up before you miraculously one day and decided it would be fun to play with you. he slowly pushed his hands under the front of your shirt until he reached your chest. he let his fingers slowly roll over the quickly hardening nipples before giving them a pinch. your body reacted immediately and you woke up with a gasp. “taehyung,” you groaned at the sudden feeling of pleasure. when he didn’t continue, you bucked up into his hands basically begging for more. “you get turned on fast, huh, kitten?” 

Originally posted by jimin-bts-trashs

jungkook: jungkook, the poor shy little bunny had woken up with morning wood and he had no idea what to do. he immediately looked over at you with flushed cheeks and took in your soft, warm body. a soft shiver ran down his spine as he watched your body softly rise and fall with soft breaths. he ran his hand over his hard on through his pants and immediately moaned. the need for release became to much and he pushed his hand under the band of his underwear and grabbed onto his cock. the sound of his moans quickly awoke you from sleep and you were quick to help him with his, problem.

Originally posted by dream-bts


I’m now entering my third semester of my second year college, and I think I’ve gathered enough experience in college to give relevant tips to incoming freshmen or just regular old college students. I’m not an expert in getting all As, not getting those 4.0s in every subject, but I have maintained my place as a Dean’s Lister since my first sem freshmen year, so I think I do have an idea on what I’m talking about. Feel free to take my advice! (or not).

homework/projects
1. seriously, once you get information on your homework/project, start them immediately. DO NOT wait till last minute to complete them because you will regret it. Do them as soon as the professor assigns it to you so you won’t spend the next few weeks stressing out on the amount of homework you have.

2. start creative projects first. unless you can pull creativity out of your hat whenever you need it, I highly suggest you start creative projects as soon as  you get them because trust me when I say you do not want to be decorating/designing shit when the due date is tomorrow.

3. do your best in every assignment; trust me, the points will count at the end of the semester.

4. do extra credit work and treat it as priority work; excess points are cushion points. 

5. group projects suck but here’s a good rule to keep in mind: if you’re the leader, delegate those tasks (read up on division of labor). if you’re a group member, do the delegated task as best as you can. know your goal as a group; are you guys in it to get to know each other and build rapport? then the output won’t matter as much and focus on helping and getting to know each other. Is the output the most important part? Then be real with each other; if you can’t do this task, then don’t do it & instead give it to someone else. Some may not even get any work at all, because what matters is the output. 


friends/other people/professors
1.  keep your circle small. your friends are there to guide you, support you and tell you when you’re wrong. find the crowd you vibe with the most because trust me, the right friends are medicine to all college problems

2. those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind. keep that in mind, my dear.

3. love the professor? do your best in their class. hate the professor? do your best in their class. it doesn’t matter whether you hate the prof or not; they still hold your grade at the end of the semester. if you really can’t stand them, just think of it as training your ability to be humble (and not punch someone).

4. talk to your professors. they’re not as bad as you think they are.

5. seriously, go to their consultation hours when you think you’re failing. 


class/notes
1. TAKE NOTES. cannot emphasize this enough. don’t rely on anyone to take your notes for you; it’s your education, it’s time you take responsibility for it.

2. sit in front of class if you believe you’ll get distracted if you sit in the back. 

3. talk to your seatmate! you’ll need them when you get sick and can’t come to class.

4. again, TAKE NOTES. don’t photograph the slide. write that shit down, or type it if you don’t want to write. bottom line, don’t picture it. 

5. revise, revise, revise. if you want to understand the material, a good way to go about it is to revise your notes in a way YOU can understand.


having fun/relationships
1. have fun! i was too stressed when I was a freshman all because I focused too much on getting 4.0s. It’s possible to get 4.0s and still have fun! having fun doesn’t need to be about drinking (although if it is, then stay safe doing it!) it could be reading a book or hanging out with your friends, whatever works for you and keeps your mind off school for awhile.

2. it’s okay to have crushes! they could be your inspiration (but don’t let them be your distraction)

3. talk to that cute guy you’ve been classmates with ever since February who you can’t stop looking at. you’ve got nothing to lose.

4. relationships are a good source of support, love and care but pls don’t forget your friends.

5. learn how to have fun, and college will be easier. 

Reminder: having fun does not equal to slacking off.

I guess that’s it! If you guys want more tips/advice/academic or college realted, I can write more or you can just hit up my ask! 

Humans are Weirdos (ft.  animals)

I know a popular ‘humans are weird to aliens’ topic is how easily humans can bond to animals. But then think the opposite.

We humans are so weird because we are practically bonding magnets to animals.

We have our social hierarchies, so it makes sense that we can fit in with certain groups like dogs and even gorillas if we can understand them enough. We get ourselves acquainted with dogs who have been domesticated and these dogs will leap into our laps and constantly bother us for pets and treats and licking us as a way to show affection. People who can get certain animals to open up to us are super cool. Aliens are in awe of how our understanding of them can get us into a pack so readily that humans who are super close to normally protective dog mothers are allowed to hold their precious babies.

We can even manage to bond with animals like cats, known to be mostly solitary. We care for these cats and when they’re comfortable they will break their isolation and seek us out for affection.

Imagine an alien seeing a dog or cat go to an upset human and try to nuzzle them or snuggle into their lap to let themselves be held for our emotional comfort. These animals which, though currently domesticated, were descended from predators streamlined towards a goal of becoming efficient hunters. Willingly coming to our emotional aid and comforting us because they’ve bonded with us so closely.

Aliens see dogs act as protectors and bark away intruders on the human territory, but instantly turn happy when they know it’s their owner and friend. They see cats utilizing inborn maternal instincts to hunt down and leave 'gifts’ of dead things in an effort to feed and teach their humans to take care of them since we’re such worthless hunters in their eyes. They’ll even know if something is wrong with humans medically before we do, or know about disturbances in the home like fires or gas leaks, and will uncharacteristically jump us to get us out of danger.

And when humans are in danger by others, and an animal senses it before we do, these animals will immediately jump on the defensive and snarl and warn against any potential enemies  and try to alert us.

You’ve got dogs who will literally jump on intruders and bite them when they’re trying to attack their human owners. Throwing themselves and and intimidating animals many times larger than themselves for our sake. Even cats, the ones people might think aren’t very interested in their humans, will throw themselves into the fray and claw the hell out of something that’s a danger to a precious human of theirs.


And, for an added bonus, imagine if we can get this to apply to bigger, deadlier animals with similar capacity for pack bonding.

After months and months of talking, mimicking, feeding, and caring for a giant predator the rest of the crew refuses to near, it’s sort of relaxed to the human. A sense of loyalty that 'yes, this creature cares for me’. Then, one day, pirates invade the vessel and somehow the animal gets loose. Cue the crew panicking when it comes ambling out of its’ holding bay at the time when a pirate is about to bring a knife or something down on the human. Two seconds later this pirate is running and screaming for its life when it sees it. The creature takes a running start, LEAPS over the human (which was closest to it and already injured) and takes off after it. When that pirate is either captured or dead, the creature returns to the human, nuzzling them and making sounds to see if they’re okay.

The human is smiling and mimicking the sounds back, or just talking to it to say what a 'good boy’ it is.

The aliens of the crew are in shock.  The rest of the humans just smile knowingly.

Michael Mell is on the spectrum

In BMC- the clips we’ve seen of the show- in all the scenes where Michael is wearing his hoodie, if he is stressed, or has something to lose (when Jeremy is receiving the squip and Michael is apprehensive, when Jeremy goes to get the girl, when Jeremy stomps off after saying he hates the school, when Jeremy hasn’t acknowledged him all day because of optic nerve blocking, when Jeremy chooses to side with the squip and the upgrade instead of following Michael, etc) whenever something stressful, unnerving, or hurtful happens- MICHAEL WEARS THE HOOD UP TO COVER HIS HEAD-
This may not seem like a big deal to some people but as someone on the autism spectrum- this is a clear coping mechanism that a lot of people on the spectrum use-
It helps to kind of hide you a bit and give you some kind of little relief and sanctuary- the same thing with headphones- wearing headphones can help block out unwanted noise that you are overly sensitive to and drown it out with noise that brings you comfort (in michael’s case- sometimes Bob Marley)
Another common trait in people on the spectrum, is anxiety over change. People on the spectrum typically grow attached and accustomed to their routines and get startled and disoriented by change. This is another trait that can be seen in michael- in the opening number- he is introduced for the very first time singing:
“Jeremy, my buddy, how’s it hanging? Lunch is banging. Got my sushi, got my slushy and more!”
First of all, it is arguable that when Michael says “Got my sushi, got my slushy, and more” it is a glimpse of these said patterns that tend to fall into place and make people on the spectrum more at ease. Notice how he doesn’t say “I got sushi and a slushy” he says “got my sushi, got my slushy”- he states it simply like this because Jeremy is his best friend and knows his patterns and habits- which is why he so plainly states it like everybody knows about them. I think this is an example of Michael’s system- he gets his sushi, he gets his slushy, he listens to his music, he wears his same hoodie, and he goes to school.
Second of all (and this is more debatable than the rest) before Michael goes on to share his routinely patterns, something that stuck out to me was that Michael wasn’t as socially adept as other characters- he addresses his friend and does the socially acceptable thing by asking how he is doing, but then immediately moves on without receiving an answer. This isn’t because he is selfish or a dick- in my mind it’s another trait of people on the spectrum. For people with high functioning autism, social interactions can be extremely difficult because it is hard to comprehend what is socially acceptable and what isn’t. This can make some relationships hard because they may come off as rude or uncaring when in reality they just aren’t able to easily slide into conversation and act completely normally.
Third of all, when he says “and more” I thought it was cute because it showed his excitement for having accomplished something. For people off of the spectrum, little things like accepting a little change isn’t anything out of the norm because life is unpredictable and things change all the time. But for people on the spectrum, even little things like being able to roll with one simple change can be a huge victory. Change is a lot harder for us so being able to deal with slight change is a big deal. After this line- Michael says “the roll was Mekhi maki and I’m feeling kind of cocky, cause the girl at sev-elev gave me a generous pour”. Just the little change of the extra pour, extra slushy, Michael was able to accept and that was a win for him, enough to make him feel confident and cocky.

Throughout the musical and album there is more evidence of this but I think that it is at least debatable that Michael may be on the spectrum. Honestly it wouldn’t surprise me for George Salazar to portray a character like that as he has been good with mental health representation in the past. I honestly love the idea of an autistic character in a musical because there isn’t a whole lot of positive representation elsewhere. You don’t have to agree but I’m probably going to always see Michael now as a representation for me