anonymous asked:

What's the one thing in the world you want most? Also I hope you have a great day bc you're cute and you deserve hugs and happiness!

I suppose I want what everyone wants. To be wanted. To mean something to the people who mean something to you. To never be sat there wishing they’d reply, or scared that they don’t want to be involved with you anymore. But the world doesn’t work like that. People don’t work like that. Fuck, I don’t work like that. I have some messed up abandonment issues, compounded by internalization which, due to the events of late in my life, have made my head a minefield. And I do try to just keep calm and carry on (as the meme goes), but sometimes the most mundane thing sets me back. Makes me question shit. Much as I like to pretend I’m very much a robot, I am indeed a living, feeling creature that’s far, far too broken at a base level. Such is life.

anonymous asked:

okay. wait a minute. your in a dark room with your crush who is also sitting on your bed AND you still haven't even tried to make a move on her???!?!!?!?!?!?! how do you control yourself? how do you keep calm and behave yourself? Just go fir it already. make a move. even a small one. something. NOW! jfc. I'd kiss her already or at least flirting so hard that she'd get it. JUST DO SOMETHING

I didn’t keep calm she just left and I’m stILL NKT CALM

Ok but are yall okay? Like do yall keep breathing? Please sit down check your pulse. Calm yourself drink some water. Make sure you are NOT JUMPING OFF YOUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW SIT DOWN LINDSEY. Do NOT stop breathing. Call 911 if you feel like dying. Do NOT rewatch before being 100% okay I repeat DO NOT REWATCH BEFORE BEING 100% OKAY.

Cas X Reader - Alone

Requested by- @tinkerelle7


“Go then, leave! See if I care!”

“Don’t fucking touch me!”

“Are you really taking his side against me?”

“Why do you keep pushing me away?”


“You guys need to calm down before you start throwing punches!” Dean yelled, standing between you and Cas.

“That is highly unlikely Dean.” Castiel said glaring seemingly through Dean toward you.

“What are you two even fighting about?” Dean yelled, annoyed at the childish acts.

“Fine don’t tell me, but take it somewhere else!” He sighed in defeat, walking away.

Castiel placed his hand on your shoulder and you were both now in an empty warehouse.

“You could’ve died.” He stated calmly. Trying to avoid shouting but you were too furious.

“But I didn’t, how does no one ever see the bright side?! I’m. Not. Dead!” You yelled, turning your back.

“I wasn’t even close to dying Cas!”

“Dean sa-” He started, causing anger to boil in your veins.

“Oh so now his say is more important than mine?! Cas, that’s not how relationships work!” You yelled quieter, clenching your jaw in frustration. Hurt.

“Well it’s very apparent he’s less reckless and child like! He’s not so…incompetent!” He yelled, louder than he was yelling before.

You flinched at his words and turned to face him. Almost nose to nose.

“Incompetent? I’m incompetent? How many times have I save your ass? How many times have I comforted you when you were so down in the dumps you couldn’t think straight?!” You yelled, your voice strained causing it to crack.

“I came to you expecting you to open up in return! All I’ve ever tried to do is help you, be there for you! But every time I try, you rebel, and start a screaming match! Stop ignoring the fact that I’m trying (y/n), for you! Why do you push me away?” He yelled, stepping closer, trying to place a comforting hand to your shoulder and tears forced their way down your face.

“Don’t fucking touch me!” You yelled jerking yourself back.

“I don’t know what to do anymore, (y/n)! I saved you from your father, from Crowley, from so much and you still can’t trust me? I’m so frustrated, and I may not be the smartest but I know you’re not okay.” He said softly.

You looked down in shame, to hide your tears. He was right but you couldn’t explain yourself because you didn’t know yourself.

You just knew all you had at the end of the day was yourself and you had to be strong.

For you.

“Is it me? Cause carrying on with you when you resent me, and hate like this… I’m afraid I might kill myself…trying to save someone who doesn’t want to be saved…” He said, trying again to hold you but you jerked back.

The tears fell harder and you moved farther away, metaphorically and literally.

“Damn it (y/n)!” He yelled turning around in frustration, rubbing his temples trying to understand.

“I have to leave.” You said quietly to yourself.

“Fine, you know what?! Leave, see if I care!” He yelled, instantly regretting his words and the whimper that escaped your lips.

You turned to leave but had to turn around quickly realizing you had no idea where you were.

“I need…” You paused forcing yourself to look up at him.

His face looked as how you imagined your to look, tears stained and puffy.

“I have to get back to the bunker…pack…” You said looking down at your feet, he grabbed your hand slowly and you closed your eyes.

When you didn’t feel any change in atmosphere, you opened your eyes to find you were at the same place and you looked up to find Castiel starring sadly into your eyes causing you to close them again.

You opened them slightly, to find your were now in your room.