It honestly sucks because I’m in college and I’ve reached the point where hooking up and chilling just isn’t for me anymore but for everyone who I want to develop at least a friendship with is all they can think about.
Like I’ve met some really chill dudes who I fuck with heavy, but those relationships were ruined because all they cared about was fucking and what they could get out of me. Even when they hit me up now to hang out and I tell them I’m abstinent they are so turned off they make excuses of why they can’t hang out and I really hate it. Like you are saying I can only serve one purpose to you and that’s kind of fucked up; like I’m a person with feelings, don’t just look to me because you were horny and thinking with your dick.
For one I have never liked trying to talk to multiple people at once, it gets messy so quickly and then you reach a point where you can either play with both people or hurt one in pursuit of the other and hope you don’t get dropped in the process and I just can’t do that. Like I want to genuinely give one person the time of day so I can get to know them and enjoy their company. But it seems I keep finding the guys who only want to hook up, and even for the one dude who actually really fucked with me, but wants to enjoy all the girls coming his way it sucks ya know.
People really look at being in college as the one time they can fuck as many people as they want and not really develop any type of relationship with the people who they are fucking outside that situation. And it’s crazy because I’ve met some really cool ass people but none of that shit matters if they didn’t want a relationship, and they definitely didn’t even care about being friends because even that requires effort especially if being friends doesn’t come with the benefits of fucking.
And God forbid you actually show that you care in the slightest by telling someone that you miss them, because not being in their company for too long means you are being clingy. 🙄like no my guy I clearly find you chill enough to be around if I don’t hang out with you that often.
But to get to my point. I don’t want to have sex with people just for the sake of having sex and because I find them attractive and they think I’m pretty. That’s so superficial and I can’t even be my full self if we are just fucking off looks. But forming and keeping real genuine relationships just seems to be so goddamn difficult when everyone’s main concern is how can i get so and so to fuck me. I’m just trying to find someone I can do my homework with, play video games and fall asleep on and know that my company is enough. Like let me get to know you and hang out with you first and get a sense of your energy before doing anything else.
I said all this to say. I just want some solid friends and someone’s company that isn’t driven on sex.