i will never understand guys who get grossed out and cringe and act like someone’s burning a fire underneath their ass whenever anyone mentions periods and menstruation. like if people who have periods can go through it every month with all of the aches and pains that come with it then the LITERAL bare minimum you can do is not cringe when just the word is said out loud
how the fuck can you arrive at the point where you know about all the things louis did, and i’m not speaking about the bears here i’m talking about the “all out” jumper, the rainbow shirts, the triangle tattoo, all his comments, how can you know all that, acknowledge them and still have the fucking audacity to say “if you think he’s closeted, the single best thing you can do for him as a fan is shut the fuck up about it until he starts talking about it” LIKE????
I genuinely do not have the time or energy to gently take every person spreading false info aside and politely regurgitate information to them that I’ve already made posts about. I do, however, have the time to SCREAM, and I will use as many A’s as I want, because I’ve had literally hundreds of copies of the exact same fucking comment. For god’s sake, people. Fact check things for yourselves.
Hi so I’m Jessi as some of you may know me as and I’ve got some things to say
I see a lot of my friends In real life and here on tumblr suffer with mental health issues and other things related to that and for my case so have I since I was about 8 years old
I’ve suffered with physical/emotional/mental and cyber bullying on and off for 10 years , I’ve suffered with a toxic relationship with a lot of emotional abuse from my parents that I didn’t even fully realise until this year and it’s gotten better so don’t worry. Sexual assault from when I was younger
Then my own battles with depression , three anxiety disorders , an eating disorder and borderline personality disorder, also realising the fact that i was gay that whole process and riddled with insecurities and so much fear.
I truly hated myself ever since I was 10 it was the first time I looked in the mirror and I just saw so much disgust and since that day I’ve never not cried when looking in the mirror at myself. I also had to deal with self harm & sucidial thoughts constantly, and I put myself in toxic friendships never wanting to let go cause that’s what I thought I truly deserved , I spent late nights crying myself to sleep , endlessly thoughts on how I’m not worth it or good enough.
I did reckless things and stupid things I regretted that I blamed myself so much for. But then I realised I couldn’t help and I had to realise I was sick; I thought my mental health would ruin me for my whole life and I truly thought the world would be a much better place without me some days I’m not gonna lie I still think and hate myself like this.
Back when my mental health started and even til some months ago I had no idea who I fucking was and I just put on these facades but just lying to myself and not being who I was and living a life I’m so unhappy with. Some may think this is a shocker but the only thing that I could actually tolerate about myself was my disability .. yeah I’m disabled I have a chronic physical disability called Cerebal Palsy Diplegia which is not as bad as you think and I’m so lucky compare to other kids.
But today it’s hit me that everything changed now for the good. A few months ago I was admitted into hospital and that was truly my turning point of when things started to get better even with some downs, I had my first kiss my first time my first real girlfriend , my first heartbreak , a point in my life where I felt happiness again , that I started not going to school feeling scared as much , when I came out to everyone and embraced my gayness that I was a bloody rainbow.
I’ve started talking to my mum and they haven’t ended up in fights all the time. I’ve caught public transport , I’ve made some new friends and I’ve started to do some things I really enjoy and that’s suited to me you know and this is crazy but a few days ago I graduated high school and got my first real job !
But the reason I’m telling you all of this is that today on October 22 2016 I had my last ever therapy session with a clinic I’ve been with for almost 3 years as I told them proudly today that I’m ready to cope with my mental health by myself. A few years ago young Jessi honestly thought she wouldn’t be here but let me tell you it’s so fucking possible and as I’m crying writing this post I just want all of you lovelies to know you can do this too you just need support and to take it one day at a time and to look after yourself.
Trust me I’m not saying it’s easy it’s been a long 10 year battle for me and it’s still gonna be a long one I have a lot to go through but I’m proud to say I’m not in a place where I need 24 hour care anymore .. this so far is the best place I’ve ever been in my life. I’ve still got my fears and insecurities , disorders to try and cope with , letting go of the past but as I’m now going into uni next year and the hardest year is ending I’m ready to move to a brighter one that I know I’m strong enough to cope with
I want you lovelies to know from this post that trust me your so much stronger than you think and so much worth it too you take one step at a time okay I’m always here for you all 💕
Anything is possible . There’s a small light even in the darkest of places
Thanks for reading lovelies it means a lot if you have any questions about anything let me know !