do you want to know my grand total for all this

WOOT BROKE W(b)ITCH HAUL

HEY YOU

YES YOU

ARE YOU BROKE BUT STILL WANNA PULL THE THREADS OF THE ETHER AND DEFY THE ESTABLISHED LAWS OF MAN INVOKING THE ANCIENT MAGICK?

GOOD.

You and I are gonna go S H O P P I N G

But, Semiramis! I just told you I’m broke! I can’t get nice things!

*smack*

WRONG.

The world is full of wonders, one of them being

DOLLAR STORES

Remember sweeties, a witch’s best friend is scavenging.

Open your eyes. Look around. Scout your neighborhood.

But what about the things that I can’t get out on the streets!?

That’s what we’re shopping for!

Now before we move on, close your eyes… then open them again because you need to read the rest of the message… and repeat the following mantra:

THE CRAFT REQUIRES NOTHING.
THE CRAFT REQUIRES NOTHING.
THE CRAFT REQUIRES NOTHING BUT MYSELF.

No fancy ingredients, no pretty crystals, no expensive incenses will work better than your RAW HEART AND SOUL.

Mkay?

Now let’s go get some of that good shit.

How good?

Diz gud.

Now, it’s no mystery that a broke ass witch needs to pay a visit to the local dollar stores to get her materials every once in a while, but if you’re like me and live in a place where there are no dollar stores (and there are no dollars either) WHERE TO GO?

The answer is here:

CHINESE IMPORT STORES ARE YOUR NEW SANCTUARY.

These places are AWESOME for a witch on a budget, because they carry EVERYTHING. From toys to art supplies to kitchenware…

AND SPIRITUALITY SUPPLIES.

(That’s where we come in)

Speaking of budget, by the way. Let’s set one.

Say… $15?

FIFTEEN AMERICAN DOLLARS. I will take you home with some nice and rare goodies that will spice up your spells.

Let’s go in.

Oooh what a promising start. This here, my friends, are 25 grams of the purest coke Palo Santo wood. Don’t like it in its natural state?

They have it in incense too!

But we ain’t getting that shit. I’m allergic so I can’t burn anything scented or else I… die.

But know they’re there, as well as essential oils, and they’re quite accessi-

WHAT!?

28 BUCKS FOR A BOTTLE OF ESSENTIAL OIL!?

AIN’T NOBODY GOT CASH FO DAT

Nah I’m just kidding. This is the price in pesos, meaning that these oils are *math happens* $1.55 each!

What a D E A L

BUT THAT’S NOT WHAT WE’RE HERE FOR BECAUSE I’M SOON TEACHING YOU HOW TO MAKE YOUR OWN OILS.

Also, holy shit…

You HAVE to see the candles aisle in this place.

They have them twirly

Large

Larger

The photo is not blury, you’re drunk

Scented

Scentless

Birthdayful

Oh hellooo thereee~

Twelve candles for $1.94 you say?

Meaning SIXTEEN CENTS A CANDLE?

Adopted.

Don’t let anyone tell you cheap candles don’t get the job done, people!

Plus they burn just as good.

NOW at this point the store was 10 minutes away from closing time, so I had to stop taking pictures to get my ass outta there, BUT

Here’s a look at what we got:

That doesn’t look too good, let’s add a F I L T E R

Those little crochet doilies that will serve as my new altar tablecloths? They were $0.55

But Amis! Those don’t look too witchy, more like what my grandma puts under her vases!

First of all, how dare you.

Second of all, how dare you.

Granmotherly stuff is witchy by D E F I N I T I O N. Embrace the grandma aesthetic, y’all!

Also:

If you’re poor you have to be CRAFTY. Look at that! It has a pentacle now. How long did it take? Literally 30 seconds! Imagine what we could do with a whole afternoon!

Ok, I admit it, that was a fiasco, BUT WE’RE ONTO SOMETHING THERE.

Let’s take a closer look at what else we brought, shall we?

This tiny chest is 7.5 cm wide x 5.5 cm tall x 5.5 cm deep (3 in x 2.1 in x 2.1 in) and will hold my pocket altar. It was *drum roll* $1.70!

I was getting tired of using my mom’s big ass scissors to cut my tiny delicate herbs, so I got myself this pair of snips! Price: $0.55 and they’re sharper than Tom Hiddleston’s style. Plus they serve a multitude of purposes, like shanking a bitch.

A quick stop by the crystal shop that was also closing (pfft crystal shop. Sounds like out of a fantasy novel, love it) yields the following goodies:

-Onyx ($0.55)

-Fluorite ($0.27)

-Snowflake obsidian (hard to get where I live. It’s kinda pricey at $2.20. I recommend other kinds of obsidian or maybe just black glass as I’ve been using until today, it still works awesomely. I got the obsidian because I wanted to experiment with it and my Mentor recommended me to get it, same as the fluorite).

-And the CUTEST little quartz formation. This one kinda defeats the purpose because it was a bit pricey. You don’t need it; any clear quartz will work the same.  It was $4.50 and it was my guilty pleasure of the month. It also came with a free satchel that’s most certainly going to be used with magickal results in the foreseeable future.

More of it because it’s so gorgeous ♥

Back to the fluorite! That shit is large and cheap! Well, you see, it’s kinda ugly because I was part of a larger stone and broke down the middle when they were trying to perforate it to make it into a pendant.

But check this hot babe out

W O R K I T

Coming back from the imports store, I paid a visit to my pot dealer erh I mean my herbs supplier. Got myself some ginger for $0.27

AND THEN

I SAW IT

Maybe they don’t package it like this in your country, but here this little shitty capsule is worth its weight in GOLD.

Y’all know what this is?

This is SAFFRON.

Now normally I steer fucking clear of things this expensive, but when I asked my dealer I mean the vendor she said it was on sale.

This stuff LITERALLY sold by FRACTIONS OF GRAMS. In this case that’s 0.2 grams of saffron, that’s 0.007 ounces. YES. ZERO POINT ZERO ZERO SEVEN. Insert here Bond reference

Retail price? Normally around $8 per capsule (EIGHT AMERICAN DOLLARS!)

How much on sale?

TWO DOLLARS.

A tip for the broke witch: hunt down for sales. Even if you don’t use the ingredients in your spells, you can still trade them with other witches or with anyone, really.

After this I went home and decided to try out my new candles.

And as I said, if you’re poor, you gotta get crafty!

I cut one of the candles in half. A part went to my pocket altar, and the other half

I used one of those ceramic saucers with the little erh… lower level circle in the middle?

USE CERAMIC. THIS IS IMPORTANT. IT RESISTS TEMPERATURE WELL AND YOU’RE GONNA NEED IT.

Melt the wax in the microwave or on the flame and then make sure it stays in the center of the saucer. Then take it out and wait until it cools down (or put it in the freezer if you are an impatient little shit). DO NOT LET IT SOLIDIFY COMPLETELY.

Then you take it out and use a round cookie cutter (or if you’re a cheap ass like me, find something else)

I just used the styling nozzle of my hair drying because F U K D A P O L I C E

Put it again in the freezer and once it’s completely solidified use a spatula because you, my dear witch

Just made yourself a moon wax amulet!

Engrave it with your sigils, place it on your altar, carefully soften the bottom with heat and use it as a seal, the possibilities are endless!

BUT WAIT, WHAT ABOUT THE REMNANTS!?

EVIL EYE WARD!

The rest? Melt it again or use it as a poppet in case you wanna cast a spell over an onion ring…

By the end of the day, our haul is:

-Altar cloth $0.55

-Herbs snips $0.55

-Mini-altar wooden box $1.70

-Dozen of blue candles $1.94

-Ginger root $0.27

-Satchel $0

-Snowflake obsidian $2.20

-Fluorite$ 0.27

-Onix $0.55

-Quartz crystal formation $4.50

-Saffron Capsule $2

A grand total of $14.53!

Of our budget of $15 we still have $0.47 that where I live is enough for the bus ride back home!

If we take away the unnecessarily pricey stuff (the quartz and the saffron) we got everything for $8.03!

Now if THAT’S not magick, I don’t know what is!

SOME FINAL TIPS!

1)      REUSE as many things as you can.


2)      MOVE THOSE FEET. I know it doesn’t sound appealing, but CHECK SEVERAL PLACES. Find the best prices by checking different stores and comparing.

3)      BE CREATIVE. If you find yourself in need of something you can’t afford, think and find a way to replace it or get it through other routes. As I said, witch trading is a thing!


4)      BARGAIN. There’s no shame in it, people! If you’re dealing with independent merchants and buy regularly/are buying a lot, try to get better prices! Don’t disrespect their business, though!


5)      REMEMBER YOUR MANTRA. Witchcraft requires NOTHING. Except you.

Now go out there and work your Magick!

-Semiramis, the Magpie Witchling

My kid does 13K in damage to studio equip, we handle it like lunatics.

[Part 1]

Some background:

I’m an audio engineer and score arranger full time in my self-owned business. It’s how I provide for myself, my fiancée (also CF), and my mother. I record, mix, and master for bands, voice-overs for local commercials, and write music for people’s weddings, college films, indie games, etc.. It was my passion since I was a child and every day I ask myself why I get paid to do what I do.

You know, until today.

I had a woman schedule to come in because she wanted me to record her monologue for an acting class. I thought it was going to be easy enough. I set up a mic and a music stand in the sound booth and got my workstation prepped for tracking. She was supposed to show up at 3:30, so when 4:00 came around, I called her to ask her if she was still coming. It was my last contract for the day and I was wanting to get home to my fiancée, dogs, and dinner.

“Oh, sorry sweetie, I’m going to be there soon. I just had to get my son from ex-boyfriend.”

Uh oh.

4:12, she showed up with her child.

To preface, I’ve never really wanted kids, and don’t really hate them either. But I’ve been childfree of mind for a decade now in league of several bad child experiences in public.

Anyway, I sat her down at the conference table and tried to talk to her about the contract and billing, etc., and just couldn’t because of the six-years-old pile of ovary droppings next to her.

“Mommy it’s cold in here.” “Mommy, I’m bored.” “Mommy, that guy has girl hair.” “Mommy, I want to play on the phone.”

The incessant whining went on for the entirety of the discussion. She did nothing about it. I had an ache in my stomach that this might be a rough session.

I was right.

I showed her to the sound booth, positioned the mic at face level, told her the basics of mic use, and then she floored me with a question.

“Can my son stay in there with you while I do this?” I insisted that he wait in the conference room (across the hall from the control room) because the control room wasn’t a very kid-friendly place considering the 120K of equipment at arms reach.

“But he’s a little angel.”

I shouldn’t have taken her word for it. I SHOULD NOT have taken her word for it. This kid was ANYTHING but. I let him in, told him to sit in one of the office chairs and don’t touch anything. Needless to say, he touched. I queued the recording arm and signaled her to start. She got three lines into her take before I hear a deafening screech and crash.

That little shit machine had just knocked over a $4,000 Korg into a rack with $9,500 of equipment. Completely shattered the touchscreen on the Korg, busted the dials off of half of the effects, and totaled my distressor that I use for almost all the vocals I track.

All of this, by the way, was the room’s length apart from where I told the crotch goblin to stay.

The kid, because of the loud noise, started full-lung screaming. Not crying. Not yelling. Screaming.

The mother, with no hesitation, ran over to the control room and DEMANDED to know what I did to her child. She cussed at me and accused me of hurting her little snot monster. Threatened to sue and even swung at me. When I told her that her precious angel had just racked up at least twelve grand of damages, she said “good”, spit on me, then stormed out, slamming every door on the way. So I pulled the security camera footage and had filed a police report. Grand total: $13,504.25. I also mailed her the bill for her session for good measure.

Of six years in the studio, this is my only truly terrible experience. Fuck mombies. Fuck having children. Thanks for making my vasectomy decision that much easier on me.

[Part 2]

Keep reading

Prompt List of Sarcasm
  1. “Well, what can I say? I’m a badass.” 
  2. “Define normal.” 
  3. “Do I get bonus points if I act like I care?” 
  4. “Just remember if we get caught, you’re deaf and I don’t speak English.” 
  5. “Don’t look for any redeeming qualities. I don’t have any.” 
  6. “It’s amazing how fast the world can go from bad to total shit storm.” 
  7. “I love you. You enormously stubborn pain in the ass.” 
  8. “And you wonder why you’re still single.” 
  9. “Remind me to kill you. Please.” 
  10. “I’m listening to you. I’m just not paying attention.” 
  11. “That’s a little melodramatic, don’t you think?” 
  12. “Were you dropped on your head?” 
  13. “She’s crazy. And just when you think you’ve reached the bottom of her craziness, there’s a crazy underground garage.” 
  14. “She may seem like lollipops and rainbows but I bet behind close doors she’s latex and whips.” 
  15. “If my day gets any worse, I’m asking hell if they’re having an exchange program.” 
  16. “Sorry. I don’t speak skank.” 
  17. “If I survive, can I go home?” 
  18. “My middle finger salutes you.” 
  19. “This is a whole new level of moronic, even for you.” 
  20. “I don’t think I could ever stab someone. I mean, let’s be honest. I can barely get the straw in the Capri Sun.” 
  21. “I don’t have enough middle fingers to let you know how I feel.” 
  22. “Insanity run in my family. It practically gallops.” 
  23. “Oh darling. Go buy a brain.” 
  24. “Somebody’s cranky.” “Somebody needs to shut up.” 
  25. “Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn.” 
  26. “All due respect, but that’s a bunch of crap.” 
  27. “I am one of the few people in the world who can murder you and leave no forensic evidence behind.” 
  28. “Excuse me. I have to go make a scene.” 
  29. “What did I tell you about calling her/him the devil?” “That it’s offensive to the devil?” 
  30. “I heard that!” “You were supposed to!” 
  31. “I need therapy after this.” 
  32. “You didn’t get in trouble for lying. You got in trouble for lying badly.” 
  33. “I’m not weird. I am limited edition.” 
  34. “I turned out liking you a lot more that I originally planned.” 
  35. “I think you’re weird.” “I think you’re boring.” 
  36. “If history repeats itself, I am so getting a dinosaur.” 
  37. “You seem somewhat familiar. Have I threatened you before?” 
  38. “I’m afraid I’ve been thinking…” “A dangerous pastime.” 
  39. “I’d explain it to you, but you’re brain would explode.” 
  40. “Wow, there’s a big surprise. I think I’m going to have a heart attack and die from surprise.” 
  41. “I’m gonna hit you so hard, it’ll make you ancestors dizzy.” 
  42. “Even when we were kids, I always kicked your ass!” 
  43. “Sarcasm is the body’s natural reaction to stupidity.” 
  44. “You’re good. A monster pain in the ass… but you’re good.” 
  45. “Well, excuse me, psychic wonder!” 
  46. “The female of the species is more deadly than the male.” 
  47. “Don’t look in her eyes, she might steal your soul.” 
  48. “She’s hot, but she’s evil.” 
  49. “Do I regret it? Yes. Would I do it again? Probably.” 
  50. “I already know that I’m going to hell. At this point it’s really go big or go home.” 
  51. “Go on, knock his teeth down his throat.” 
  52. “You’re going to burn in a very special level of hell. A level they reserve for child molesters, animal abusers and people who talk at the theater.” 
  53. “What’s the point in screaming? No one’s listening anyway.” 
  54. “I’m not a damsel in distress. I’m a damsel doing damage.” 
  55. “So stick that in your juice box and suck it.” 
  56. “Never take life seriously. No one ever comes out alive anyway.” 
  57. “This place hold a lot of memories for me. Some bad, some… No. No, no, all bad.” 
  58. “A little gasoline… blowtorch… no problem.” 
  59. “Good, bad, I’m the one with the gun.” 
  60. “I know you can’t kill anybody, ‘cause I can’t kill anybody.” 
  61. “You’re insane, but you might also be brilliant.” 
  62. “What you call insanity, I call inspiration.” 
  63. “Sometimes I question my sanity. Occasionally it replies.” 
  64. “Why should we date?” “Because we are attracted to each other.” “I am attracted to pie, but I do not feel the need to date pie.” 
  65. “Why does everyone assume the worst of me.” “It saves time.” 
  66. “I like you. You’re different.” 
  67. “You successfully cured him/her of anything interesting about his/her personality.” 
  68. “Neither one us is drunk enough for this conversation.” 
  69. “You’re questioning my methods.” “I’m not questioning it, I’m saying it’s stupid.” 
  70. “Wow, somebody needs a Happy Meal.” 
  71. “I didn’t do it!” “Then why are you laughing?” “Because whoever did it is a freaking genius.” 
  72. “Idiots. I’m surrounded by idiots.” 
  73. “You couldn’t handle me even if I came with instructions.” 
  74. “I care so little, I almost passed out.” 
  75. “Well behaved woman rarely make history.” 
  76. “You’re so weird.” “You have no idea.” 
  77. “The universe may not always play fair, but at least it’s got a hell of a sense of humor.” 
  78. “You haven’t even seen my bad side yet.” 
  79. “Obviously you have mistaken me for somebody who gives a shit.” 
  80. “How’s life treating you?” “Like I ran over it’s dog.” 
  81. “Rule number one: don’t bother sucking up. I already hate you, that’s not going to change.” 
  82. “Oh God, we’re not gonna have to hug or anything, are we.” 
  83. “I’m so glad you could come.” “Cut the crap. Give me a drink.” 
  84. “You make no sense to me.” “Welcome to my life.” 
  85. “Have fun being deal.” “I will.” 
  86. “Damn, you’re strong for a little thing.” 
  87. “It’s called thinking. Go with it.” 
  88. “I made a new friend today.” “Real or imaginary?” “Imaginary.” 
  89. “Where have you been all my life?” “Hiding from you.” 
  90. “I’m getting real bored and impatient. I don’t do bored and impatient.” 
  91. “The girl is strange no question.” 
  92. “Do us a favor… I know it’s difficult for you… but please, stay here, and try no to do anything… stupid.” 
  93. “I know most people don’t like me; I don’t care, I don’t like most people.” 
  94. “You are a very strange person.” “Well, thanks for noticing.” 
  95. “I can tell that you think what you’re saying is funny, but… no.”
  96. “I didn’t steal it. I permanently borrowed it.” 
  97. “I’m not shy. I’m just examining my prey.” 
  98. “If you pull out my earphones, I will pull out your lungs.”
  99. “I don’t dislike you, I nothing you.” 
  100. “Are you crying? No, I’m impersonating a fountain.” 
  101. “Ah, he’s playing hard-to-get. That’s cute.” 
  102. “You’re kinda anti-social, you know that?” 
  103. “I feel like a freakin’ soccer mom.” 
  104. “My advice is much more subtle. Stop being an ass.” 
  105. “I’m just gonna pack up and go straight to hell now.” 
  106. “My ex? Yeah, I’d still hit that. Except this time it would be with a car or baseball bat.” 
  107. “She’s complicated like the DaVinci code, you know but harder to crack.” 
  108. “And just like everything else we do around here, it’s about to get weirder.” 
  109. “Such big evil in such a little thing.” 
  110. “Why do I still like you, knowing you’re a total asshole?” 
  111. “What does not kill you will likely try again.” 
  112. “Oh honey, I would but… I don’t want to.” 
  113. “And hello to you too… little homewrecker.” 
  114. “I’m gonna make you wish you were dead.” 
  115. “I don’t need anger management. I need people to stop pissing me off.” 
  116. “What doesn’t kill me might make me kill you.”
  117. “In another life, I think I was in a mental institution.” 
  118. “I’m not crazy. I’m just interesting.” 
  119. “Don’t make me pop your ten grand sand bags honey.” 
  120. “This is fun.” “Seriously, we’re trying to hide a body.” 

Request [x] Masterlist [x]

anonymous asked:

you know so much about bruce, please tell us some less know traits about him or just random facts or even headcanons please i love it when you talk about bruce!!!

oh my gosh, i love this ask. i’m glad you like it when i talk about bruce because i love talking about bruce and am always looking for the excuse to. ~just vengeance things~ include:

  • he is, actually, very sweet to civilians. he would sacrifice his identity if it meant saving a single person, and yes i can confirm his weakness is actually babies the ratio of times batman has held a baby compared to other characters is absolutely insane. and in BTAS, there’s an episode where he rescues a little girl and comes back to visit her just to make sure she’s okay. and in the BTAS tie-in comics, he rescued people’s pets, kept kids out of traffic, helped put out fires, the works. and also he went out of his way to find dick’s teddy bear
  • he has a sense of humor! i promise you! he just saves it for when no one’s looking, which is what he does with every trait someone might possibly misconstrue as cute. gotham knights made it canon that he talks to the bats in the batcave. he probably talks to them about cases when nobody else is around to bounce ideas off of
  • bruce paid for a class field trip after jason died because helping kids made the loss more bearable - he also visits troubled kids in canon and takes an active role in their life, to the point where one time he was concerned about kids he sponsored getting in a bad way and showed up literally at their house, because despite having 708983 responsibilities as batman he still makes time for that
  • this fucker has protocols in place for contacting him. the JL have to go through a goddamn system to get 5 minutes with him, and you just know it’s an excuse so bruce has to talk to people less, you just know it. also, this is in the same comic where plastic man recruits bruce to scare his wayward son straight, bruce is nervous about scaring a kid, and gives patrick an actual compliment (“of all of us, even clark, i thought you would make the best father. because i thought you would be the kind of father that would show his children that he loved them, instead of just telling them. i thought you would make them laugh all of the time.”) and encourages patrick to reconnect with his son
  • once put on enough make-up to trick people into thinking he was a guy dressed as bruce wayne who might possibly be batman, while he was actually bruce wayne who is actually batman. he disguised himself….. as himself. i fucking hate him. when oliver queen found out his identity how much do you wanna bet he was beyond pissed
  • i’m not kidding about the justice snuggle thing. he does actually do that, where he perches on something and puts his chin on his knees. he does it in front of gordon, and also the justice league. someone who refuses to show people he has 1 iota of personality is totally comfortable curling up like a small child. what even is this man
  • when tired and injured sometimes he just collapses wherever. in knightfall, he passes out by a dumpster, and a roof, and on the stairs. in the batman and robin 2011 run he makes it to a hallway and alfred finds him just like crashed on the ground. in batman: year one, he literally just sits in a chair casually bleeding all over everything until a bat crashes through his window
  • tries to tell people he cares for them in a really roundabout way filled with metaphors and lots of grand gestures. the only person who usually understands them is dick, and even then it’s like 75% of the time. if he actually says the word ‘love’, the vulnerability of the moment will cause him to keel over and die
  • master of the uncomfortable invasion of privacy. i cannot stress this enough. if you bought purple listerine instead of blue this week, he’s watching you. he has your number. he has a file on everything that breathes, and also he writes everything down. he has like 400 some files on hugo strange alone, he knows whether the man prefers coke or pepsi. also, three words: brother eye satellite 
  • whenever something emotionally traumatic happens he locks himself in the batcave for a while because he is a turtle (of justice) and the batcave is his shell
  • now, this one is mostly a headcanon i was talking with audrey about earlier (i say mostly because i’m 65% sure there’s a panel somewhere that made it canon that bruce helped train kyle, but my receipts folder is 5 miles long) but i do solidly believe bruce is one of the people who teaches inexperienced league members, along with other expertly trained league members like diana and dinah. not only because of his expertise in martial arts, but also because he’s had more experience than other heroes training individuals to be the best they possibly can. he is absolutely the tough love coach. he is the AP teacher that knocked off points for every little mistake and made you cry three times a week, but it was worth it when you got a 5 on that exam and were so far ahead of the curve in college the class was a breeze
  • summary: i love batman
  • a lot
  • like a whole lot
  • he’s trying his best

he is my very favorite

(Okay, so I’m starting a little “series” thing. I’ve got ideas for all of the Potter-Malfoy kids and I’ll be releasing drawings and headcanons of them. I hope you enjoy!!)

The first of the Potter-Malfoy kids I’d like to introduce you to are Anita and Lyra, the oldest. 

headcanons: 

general: 

  • I imagine there’s lots of muggle-born kids who are given up because of their parent’s thinking their demonic or whatever 
  • + there’s no way any magical government would let them just grow up in foster homes bc they may give off bursts of magic which is multiple kinds of dangerous
  • + since there’s not a humongous wizard population, there’s the possibility that there’s a huge international wizard foster home/orphanage. 
  • I imagine it’s quite multicultural and if a child ends us spending most of their childhood there, it is made sure that they keep their language and culture intact.
  • there are of course kids of other blood statuses, but it’s probably about 75% muggle-born
  • So, on another note: Harry and Draco get married fairly early (about 2000, when their both 19.) 
  • because there’s a huge rush to do things after the war. 
  • everyone who was caught up in it have this urgency in their lives after feeling like they could lose everything in a blink of an eye. 
  • So all these kids go into their adult lives doing things in a rush. they go after their jobs, move back to be near their families, travel, get married etc.
  • Harry and Draco move back to Grimould place bc, even though Harry has shit memories there, he feels the need to continue making it a place full of love. Something it wasn’t when sirius was there. 
  • + since it has (yet again) gone into a bit of disrepair Draco slaps on an apron and cleans the entire fucking house with the help of Molly (bc what are household spells ??? How do those ???)
  • also when Molly gets over Draco’s past and gets to know him she fucking lovES him
  • So Draco + Harry have only been married for a year when they decide they want kids.
  • the big house was so quiet and they both want to be parents so badly, to be the fathers they never had.
  • so they travel out to this international foster home and decide they want a new born child to be their first, so that they can get the “whole experience”. They go through all the background checks and procedures to make sure they’re fit parents.
  • from there on it’s a waiting game
  • they’re notified in December of 2001 that the home has acquired two children from a woman who had given birth days ago + Draco and Harry immediately drop everything to rush down there

Anita + Lyra specific:

  • They’re twin muggle born girls from Morroco and they’re beautiful
  • Draco and Harry fell in love with them instantly and adopt them within the week
  • Draco is absolutely adamant about naming all their kids after constellations as the Black family tradition goes. Thus, Lyra (Narcissa) and Anita (Lily) are decided on.
  • Harry’s totally fine with and suggests that they just take the Malfoy name but Draco’s just like ??? are you insane ? your famous and my family’s nearly extinct ? They’ll have both our names and can decide if they want to go by one or the other (or both) ??
  • They’re identical and after having an extremely hard time telling them apart, Draco goes and buys these head bands, one with flowers and one with stars. Anita is given the flowers and Lyra the stars
  • They’re just bursting with magic from day one. So much so that Draco + Harry are constantly cleaning up things they’ve shattered. But they love it, really.
  • Draco is a stay at home dad bc he can’t stand working at the ministry for another second
  • they try their best to keep their culture with them and buy tons of muggle books to learn Arabic and teach the girls Arabic
  • Harry is “bābā” and Draco is “daddy” 
  • Anita is very soft and says ‘OH!’ (which turns into damn! as she gets older) every time anything is dropped or she accidentally breaks something. She insists on helping cleaning or cooking. She’s a bit shy and smiles with her nose crinkled. She’s incredibly smart but can get herself into mischief and is a bit too good at lying for Harry’s comfort
  • Lyra is a bit more reckless. She’s always laughing and snarking and getting into trouble. But she wears her heart on her sleeve and is so easy to read. she’s also a bit of a whirlwind of emotions. She empathizes so hard with everyone around her that it’s hard for her not to get frustrated 
  • Lucius - who already had an incredibly hard time warming up to the whole Harry and Draco idea in the first time - absolutely flips out when he hears that they’ve adopted muggleborns 
  • + Draco is just not fucking having it though. 
  • and in a heated argument tells Lucius that he’d chose “his girls” over his “shite father” any day and that if Lucius he has a problem with his granddaughters than he has no business coming around Draco’s family ever again because they will not stand that kind of prejudice anymore
  • therefore, the only of his friend’s kids he can allow around L + A is are Blaise’s. (bc Blaise’s mother was nOT here for Voldemort in the first place and neither really was Blasie when push came to shove. ive got about a billion head canons about Blaise’s mum. Someone ask me some day )
  • Narcissa on the other hand is thrilled when Draco tells her she’s a grandmother. She adores them and spoils them with Andromeda. (bc after the war Narcissa stopped giving two flying fucks about the constricted “perfect pureblood” mess she grew up in and for once in her life is just her god damn self, fuck everyone else.)
  • She eventually brings Lucius around. And though, Draco still holds bitterness about the whole situation, he gets past it after Lucius does.
  • Lucius also comes to adore the girls and continues to try to buy them things that are waaay too expensive and grand + Draco is just like “no no no no no. you’re not giving 3 year olds two of the latest broom models. Those are for full grown professional quidditch players for Merlin’s sake!” 
  • Draco is wonderful parent but is very helicopter-esque about the kids getting hurt or doing anything remotely dangerous 
  • while Harry likes to do the whole “living room wrestling” and “foot races through the mud” sort of thing.
  • They eventually create a sort of back yard for the kids at Grimould (sort of like the suitcase world Newt had but obviously smaller) for the kids to race around on their (toddler sized) broom sticks
  • They’re both Slytherins and like a scarier more lowkey Fred and George
  • Mcgonagall has a mini heart attack when she see’s their names on the list of first years (bc what thE FUCK THOSE TWO ARE MARRIED WITH chILDREN)
  • they both decide to go with “Potter-Malfoy” in whole half bc they love people’s expressions when hearing it but on their quidditch jerseys Anita has Potter and Lyra has Malfoy. Anita is a beater and Lyra is a keeper
Pre-Kerberos! Matt HC

[Pre-Kerberos! Matt]

★ Matt is the whitest of the whites, he eats one hot chip and it’s game over.

★ He’s allergic to pickles

★ He got Katie into aliens and cryptids

  • He doesn’t regret it                                                                             

★ Him and Shiro were friends, even before the Garrison.

★ He’s a little shit, the Garrison teachers expected him to be the perfect student since he was Sam and Colleen’s son.

  • They were wrong, he started a black market and wasn’t found out until it was too late. He made more than $500 bucks cash.

★ Whenever he was called into the office to talk about his future he just answered with “Kick ass, go to space, represent the human race.”

The cost of losing a bet with him was high

  • Once a kid had to go up to Iverson and ask if he was a furry and if his boyfriend was bigfoot.
  • They were required to help Iverson for the rest of the year during their free hour.

★ Anytime anyone asked if him and Shiro were dating, he did finger guns and awkwardly backed away.

★ Has been the cause of the science lab blowing up at least 5 times.

  • Shiro was apart of three of them.

★ Puns were his shit no one could escape

  • Shiro does this make us…..Kerbros?”
  • “If it weren’t for the laws of this land, I would’ve slaughtered you, Matt.”

★ Would fight you if you said Pluto wasn’t a planet

★ Is the most oblivious of people, two kids had a crush on him at the same time and he never noticed

  • But he can somehow notice when people have crushes on each other??

★ He met Neil Degrasse Tyson once and cried

★ Katie and him show their love by roasting each other on the daily

★ “I know you love those peas, Dad.” was only the tip of the Yikesburg™ .

★ He dyed Shiro’s hair once

  • It went as well as expected
  • It was neon blue

★ He smuggled Pidge into the Garrison once with the help of Shiro

  • Keith found them dragging her through the window
  • He just stared silently and walked away

★ He can do a perfect Yoda impression

  • Katie sadly found out when she on the verge of sleep at 3am

★ Subs always liked him for some reason, no one really knew how or why though.

★ He could name all 206 bones in the human body, and he taught Keith how to break every one of them

★ Katie popped out the lens in his back-up prescription glasses

  • He cried

★ He can quote back to the future word for word

★ “What are you gonna do punch me???”

  • The kid decked him
  • He broke their leg

★ He threatened to sell Katie to the Garrison for a pizza

  • A guy’s gotta do what they gotta do to get some decent food

★ “How’d you do in your flight test, Matt?” “Oh, I nearly killed Shiro. it’s chill though.”

★ He cries whenever he sees dogs since the Garrison is in the middle of nowhere

  • He once cried for more dog deaths in three school days than his entire life

★ “Hey Matt, high-five the stars for me okay?” “Of course, Katie.”

  • She hasn’t found out if he did or not.

★ It was his idea to name their dog Gunther

  • “What the fuck, Matt” “It haS CHARACTER KATIE”

★ Him and his mom are kickass together.

  • Everyone is low-key terrified of them

★ He crashed his bike into a tree once

  • “Lol you guys will never guess what happened”
  • “What”
  • “My bone is no longer in my leg”

★ “Do you think Iverson and—” “I’m gonna stop you right there.”

★ He hacked the speakers in the Garrison to play Bill Nye the Science Guy when someone said he wasn’t a real scientist

★ Believes in the multiverse theory and soulmates

  • Maybe in some other universe him and Shiro are happy

★ He’s pan and poly, fight me   

  • Katie got him a shirt that read “Pans for Bigfoot”    
  • He wore it everywhere

★ He finished the office in a week and stares at a security camera whenever something stupid happens

★ Someone confessed to him once and he panicked and said “Thank you”

★ Matt is actually a super good crossdresser???

  • Shiro and Keith are surprised???
  • Katie had to get it from somewhere y’all

★ Lowkey likes to make fun of Keith for being Texan

  • “Y’all’d’ve done good if y’all had listened to me.”
  •  “I hate living because of you, Matt.”

★ Bill Nye the Science Guy is his dad and you can’t tell him otherwise.

  • He’ll fight you if you say he isn’t a real Scientist

★ MATT REALLY LIKES AVATAR: THE LAST AIRBENDER, LIKE I HAVEN’T EVEN SEEN IT BUT I KNOW HE DOES.

★ Him and Katie learned Latin for kicks

★ Speaks fluent meme

★ **Drops one piece of candy on his room floor** “,,,,,,,,” **Kneels down to look for it**

★ 10/10 doesn’t know how to handle any crushes he has

  • He realized he had a crush on Shiro with the “help” of Katie and Keith
  • He tried to eat an entire jar of pickles afterwards

★ “Matt, you have a crush on my brother, admit it” “New glasses, who dis?”

★ “Shiro, when I was your age,,,,,,” “One day, you’re just not going to wake up.”

★ He somehow convinced Shiro to dress up as Watson while he was Sherlock

★ Hamilton’s number 1 fan

★ He spits out facts at random

  • “Y’know Alexander Hamilton spelt Philadelphia wrong in our Constitution?” 
  • Katie, who has been running on 3 hours of sleep: please shut tf up

★ “You’re a little shit Matt” “Atleast I don’t quote Fairy Tail any chance i get”

★ Matt: THIS BITCH EMPTY 
★ Katie, grabbing his backpack full of assignments from the Garrison: Y E E T

★ He hates coffee but will drink 5 cans of soda in an hour

★ “YOOOOO I TELL YOU WHAT I WANT WHAT I REALLY WANT” “SO TELL ME WANT WHAT YOU REALLY WANT” “I WANNA–”

  • Sam Holt voice: Please,,,,just go to sleep”

★ He’s a Gryffindor

★ Someone bet him that he couldn’t eat 2 of the new Grand Macs

  • He ate 4, Katie ate 5
  • Everyone was impressed and low-key terrified

★ Shiro: bro take off your glasses
★ Matt: bro everything’s a blur
★ Shiro: that’s my life without you
 Matt, tearfully: Bro… 

Iverson: any questions?
Matt: Yeah, first of all, how dare you?

★ “Would you slap Katie for $2,000?” “I’d break both of Katie’s arms and my own leg for a small fry from McDonald's”

★ Shiro gave him one of his sweaters when it was cold out once

  • Shiro hasn’t seen it since

★ He had an emo phase that lasted 2 months before he got tired of the eyeliner

  • Katie likes to bring it up at the worst times

He’s covered in bandaids 90% of the time

  • Most times it’s because he and Katie were fucking around while building smth

★ “The amount of uses for a dead horse is infinite” “Matt, honestly, just go to church”

★ His mind is just a constant loop of that scene in VeggieTales where the realized they didn’t have hands and just sadly looked at each other

★ “KATIE POKEMON PIDGEOTTO HOLT

★ Mashed potatoes can and should fuck him up

★ Learned to play the kazoo for meme opportunity

★ Once burnt off one of his eyebrows from boiling water

★ Him and Katie do the handshake thing from Zack and Cody

★ Whenever someone asks to see a picture of Katie, he just pulls out a picture of Pidgey from Pokémon

  • Matt: Isn’t she pretty?

★ He beat every island in poptropica

★ He can make really nice flower crowns nobody has questioned it

★ He talks with his hands a lot

  • He’s hit Keith in the face more than once because of it

★ You know when it snowed in Egypt for the first time in years and that guy had that giant ass snowball and was gonna fucking dunk it on his friend?

  • That’s Matt

★ He can dance?? Where did he learn it? Nobody knows

★ “Keith I came as soon as i heard! I can’t believe it I knew you two were close”
★“Wtf are you talking about?”
★“Punk is dead, Keith”

★ When the rumour that MCR was coming back you bet your ass Matt was ready to blast every song whenever he saw Keith

★ “I’m Matt, the radar technician”

★ He recreated BB-8 from Star Wars: The Force Awakens and cried

★ “Bitch, I am a gift of God, square up”

  • Get it? Because Matthew means gift of God??

★ He can solve a rubix cube behind his back in under 35 seconds

★ If he laughs hard enough he’ll start snorting

  • 50% of the time he won’t notice because he’s too busy laughing
  • The other 50% he’ll stop and frown in disgust at his own snort

★ He found out Shiro poured his milk in before the cereal and kicked him out their dorm

Matt: Hey, Shiro, want to stay for dinner?
Colleen: Do you want to stay forever?

★ Iverson lowkey reminds him of Snape, so by default he just doesn’t like him

★ “Work, work!” “Matthew!”
    “Work, work!” “Katherine!”
    “,,,,,and Keith”
    “The conspiracy theorists!”

★ Unlike his sister, he likes to garden and starts one in their backyard with their mom

★ Matt would totally force Shiro to cosplay Team Rocket for Halloween with Pidge being Meowth and Keith being an edgier version of Ash Ketchum

  • Shiro as Jessie and Matt as James of course

★ He owns every pokemon game in existence

  • Pokemon Snap was his shit when he was like 7
  • He 360 noscoped the Pokemon with apples

★ Has read all of the Harry Potter books three times

★ He tried to teach Shiro how to dance

  • They never finished though because neither of them could take the sexual tension

★ He was more into the galaxies and multiple universes part of space, while Katie was excited for the tech advances 

  • They were both 100% ready for aliens though

★ Shiro told him he couldn’t create the Marauders Map, so he did out of spite

★ Talked in nothing but Shakespeare for a day to piss off Katie

★ He loved ducktales

  • Too bad he can’t see the reboot

★ Barbie and the 12 dancing princesses was his shit

★ When Katie was born, he brought a potato with him when he went to the hospital to compare the two

★ He always wore sweaters that didn’t quite fit him, so he could have Sweater Paws

★ There was a supposed ‘haunted’ house on his street, so him Katie and the Broganes all snuck out to investigate

  • A window broke while they were in there
  • Keith shapeshifted into Sonic and bolted, Katie started hysterically crying and laughing at the same time as she ran, and Matt jumped into Shiro’s arm and Shiro fuckin’ booked it
  • They all agreed not to talk about it

★ Once in gym, a ball was about to hit someone in the face but instead of yelling “duck!” he yelled “dICK”

  • To this day no one has let him live it down

★ Uses an absurd amount of emoticons when texting

★ 10/10 would meme again

★ Used the word “Yo” too many times to count

★ Tried to bury Katie underneath a bunch of snow when she was 10

★ He can’t swim

★ He’s cried during nearly every Disney and Pixar movie


[Read Part Two// Post-Kerberos! Matt HC here!]

'BTS Dishes About Their US Tour, Songwriting Process, & Onstage Style'

TWIST: What are you most excited about for your return to the US?

BTS: The size of the tour got much bigger than last time we were in the US back in 2015. It’s almost 10-fold this time. 5 arena shows in 3 cities sold out in less than 5 minutes! We’re amazed by the fact fans in the USA are passionate and supportive and we’re super excited to come back to meet them all.

TWIST: What is the most exciting part of touring around the world, and what has been the most challenging so far?

BTS: The most exciting part of touring around the world is that you get the unique opportunity to meet different people from various background. Regardless of their differences, they sing BTS songs in unison and cheer for us, and it is very special experience for all of the band. On the other hand, the most challenging part has been the life on the road, being far away from our family and friends for weeks.

TWIST: Which of your songs are you most looking forward to performing on this part of the tour?

Rap Monster: “Spring Day.” I wrote the main melody for the lead single for the first time and also wrote lyrics.

SUGA: “Spring Day.” I wrote main lyrics based on my personal experience with old friends. It is about my sad memories with him and it makes me sentimental whenever I listen to the song.

Jungkook: “Not Today.” It has the coolest beat of all songs in the album and I personally like the choreography for the song.

J-Hope: “FIRE.” It has always been my favorite and the song has all the essence of BTS can show to the audience on stage.

TWIST: What’s the best piece of advice you’ve gotten in your career?

Rap Monster: “If you’re tied up with not gaining approval from others, you’ll never be able to move forward.”

TWIST: How would you say you and your sound have evolved over the years since first forming the group?

BTS: BTS sound has evolved since our debut in 2013 but has rooted its music in western pop music and hip-hop. We try to adapt all the hottest trends in pop music scene and that’s why fans around the world like it despite the cultural differences. All members listen to different genres of music all the time, from EDM, hip-hop, R&B to hip-house… and we believe BTS is kind of creating a new category of music genre beyond K-Pop.

TWIST: Do you remember the first song you ever wrote, what it was about, and what inspired you to write it?

Rap Monster: I don’t remember the name of the song, but there was an online community of amateur rappers who gathered together. I downloaded a beat from another amateur beat maker and I wrote a song based off of that. The song didn’t really make much sense, I just wrote it using every hard word I possibly knew. I actually found the song 2 years ago on my computer and listened to it thinking “What is this?” It was a mess.

TWIST: Have you ever written a song in a strange or unusual place? Or been inspired by something totally random?

Rap Monster: So many, I think I wrote a song while I was at the Grand Canyon in 2009. I had a trip to Vegas/Grand Canyon and I think I wrote a song there because I was shocked by the scenery. I definitely don’t remember what it was about though.

TWIST: Who are some artists that you would love to collaborate with?

BTS: There are so many artists we would love to collaborate with, such as Drake, J Cole, Justin Bieber… The list goes on and on.

TWIST: Which other artists/songs are on your personal playlists?

BTS: Drake “Fake Love”, The 1975, Kehlani, Lorde.

TWIST: How would you describe your personal fashion senses?

BTS: It’s mix of gothic and Japanese street wear. My recent favorite brands are WTAPS, Neighborhood and Yoji Yamamoto.

TWIST: And how does your personal style differ from the costumes you wear onstage?

BTS: Onstage clothing for BTS is custom-made to maximize our performance while being matched with the concept of each song.

TWIST: What is it like when fans recognize you on the street/ask for photos? Is it crazy? Surreal? Overwhelming?

Rap Monster: It’s a really nice experience to have somebody who knows me, but sometimes I like to be alone and hang around the city. I think it depends on the situation. There are some situations that I want to not be noticed by others, but people easily notice me. I’ve been told that I’m too unique (my walk and my clothes) and I’m easy to recognize, and I think that’s really nice. If I’m an artist or an idol and nobody knows me that would be sad.

TWIST: Can you share a fun fact about one of your other band members that you don’t think even the most dedicated fans will know?

Rap Monster: Many people think that SUGA is like the Grandfather of the group, but he acts more like a little kid. Jimin is the opposite, he looks like a baby but inside he’s mature and like a Grandfather.

I just wanted to belong

A/N: Happy Angst Appreciation Day round three, it’s a day late, but life happens. Reader is Dean’s 17 year old daughter who has a twin brother named Robby.

Dean x Daughter!Reader    Sam x Sister!Reader

Originally posted by sammy-samulet

You stood at the counter of the diner trying to decide if you should go back to the booth where your father, uncle, and twin brother sat, or if you’d have a better time alone at the counter. You’d gone up to ask for more napkins to clean up a spill that Robby, your twin had made. However glancing back you saw that they had waved down the waitress who your dad and brother were both flirting with.

With the roll of your eyes you took a seat at the counter; knowing you’d actually enjoy your meal if you weren’t near your father or brother.

You loved them both dearly and at one point your entire family was so close knit that your absence would have been noticed right away. However as you grew older the bond you shared with your twin and father began to disappear and once you started going on hunts with your dad and uncle, it all but vanished.

At first you told yourself that you were overreacting; that your father was just constantly worried about you, but as time went on you saw how close Robby and your dad still were, yet you remained on the outside.

It was something that your dad and brother both seemed oblivious to. Whenever you’d try to involve yourself in what they were doing they would send you away with some excuse as to why you couldn’t participate with them and soon you just stopped asking.

This never seemed to effect them, but it sure effected you.

Your father and Robby might not have seen what they were doing, but your Uncle Sam sure did. At first he tried to stick up for you, pointing out to Dean all the times it seemed that Robby and him would purposefully leave you out. Dean would deny it and after countless arguments with no change Sam stopped trying. Instead he became the figure in your life you so desperately wanted.

Still, there were times that Sam got sucked into whatever fun Robby and your dad were having; leaving you to be the outsider in your family again.

It was a role you learned to accept and gave up hope that it’d change.

Keep reading

Time After Time

Summary: The five times the universe appeared to be against you when you wanted to ask Steve out.

Word Count: 4,447. (yikes, might want to grab a bowl of popcorn or feed your cat while reading this)

A/N: This is basically a remake of an old Peter Parker fic I wrote a while back, but of course I switched things up and improved it. Thanks to my pals @heaventide & @theassetseyeliner for being my betas. Hope you like! 

Originally posted by kings-of-my-heart


Keep reading

a soft reddie playlist + headcanons

back at it with my own playlist. @bcckybeaver and i are killing ourselves with soft reddie.

i. kiss me - ed sheeran // ii. moonlight - ariana grande // iii. until the end of time - justin timberlake // iv. crush - yuna // v. fantasy - alina baraz // vi. at your best (you are love) - aaliyah // vii. always and forever - heatwave // viii. you’re all i need to get by - marvin gaye & tammi terrell // ix. waiting for a girl like you - foreigner // x. i would do anything for you - foster the people // xi. somebody loves you - betty who // xii. beautiful soul - jesse mccartney // xiii. a thousand years - christina perri // xiv. tee shirt - birdy // xv. perfect - ed sheeran // xvi. fallingforyou - the 1975

here’s some rad heacanons to go along with our playlists. MAJOR CREDIT goes to lauren, who i tagged above, bc we kinda came up with the prompt/hcs together but she did most of the thinking tbh. if you’re not following my best friend… wyd? go follow her! also, check out her playlist here.

  • picture this - senior richie is on the football team and senior eddie is on the chess team. the best part? THEY SUPPORT TF OUT OF EACH OTHER
  • eddie and the losers are at every football game, and vice versa. like they’re so mismatched but
  • also imagine reddie sososo in love with each other yet not dating yet
  • buuuut these two cute idiots hold each other’s hands, hug on each other, and even kiss. if you ask the other losers, they make out all the time, but reddie insists they don’t (yes they do)
  • according to richie and eddie they’re just friends
  • “but you guys hug and make-out…”
  • “so what? stan and bill do that all of the time. that’s what best friends do”
  • “they’re literally dating”
  • but it’s not weird to them bc in their minds they’re just friends but not in a sad way. they just like to be as close to each other as possible and they just rlly think it’s normal for besties to do that stuff
  • lbr tho they lowkey wanna be boyfriends but they don’t know?? how to get? to that level?? like what’s functioning what’s asking out your best friend??
  • haaaaa whatever you do don’t imagine richie throwing a party and anxiously waiting for eddie to show up bc eddie’s all he cares about, ignoring ppl who asks if he wants to go hotbox
  • he wants to be sober for eddie because he knows eddie doesn’t really like intoxication
  • also don’t imagine eddie sitting in richie’s lap and them cuddling and kissing bc they’re in luv
  • eddie being mischievous and putting his cold hands under richie’s shirt to make him shriek, but richie lets him keep his hands there bc he loves eddie and eddie can do whatever he wants.
  • EDDIE HAVING A MAJOR CHESS TOURNAMENT AND THE LOSERS BEING THERE TO SUPPORT
  • eddie is going up against his arch nemesis kevin, someone he lost to last time, and he’s determined to win
  • RICHIE LITERALLY CHEERING FOR EDDIE LIKE HE’S AT A FOOTBALL GAME (”KICK HIS ASS, EDDIE!!!”) and knowing exactly what’s going on (if he had room in his schedule, he would have totally joined the chess club too)
  • when eddie wins (bc he’s a badass bitch) richie running up and KISSING THE LIFE OUT OF HIM. and it’s different this time and eddie lowkey dIES
  • them going out to celebrate and the waiter flirting with eddie and richie and pissing them bOTH OFF
  • “this guy is shit” “yeah, he’s unprofessional” “jARED IF YOU FLIRT WITH ONE OF US ONE MORE TIME” “YEAH JARED FUCK OFF”’
  • okay but the losers going to a carnival together and richie playing all the games to try and win eddie prizes
  • (he wins a huge stuffed bear for eddie that eddie names junior after richie)
  • eddie sneaking off to an arcade bc he saw a record player that he knew richie would love, and surprising richie?? with this gift?? (richie cried)
  • them getting on the ferris wheel and being soft and cute by holding hands and giving each other kisses
  • ok but picture these two dumdums being like “i like this whole thing, and we should keep doing it but never do it with anyone else. just each other. but we’re still best friends”
  • all of the losers sCREAM INTO THE ABYSS BC GET TOGETHER U IDIOTS
  • wow this is getting long but i have a few more hcs - imagine richie having the worst day ever and avoiding everyone and eddie just can feel that something’s wrong so he shows up to richie’s
  • richie just so ~~shook that eddie knew smth was off and crying bc eddie just gets him and he’s so in love with him - they cuddled and fell asleep together that night
  • how about the losers chilling out in a field one day and richie bringing his guitar and he sings??? to eddie??? confessing his love (he sung kiss me by ed sheeran - first song on my playlist)
  • eddie ofc cries… AND SAYS HE LOVES RICHIE BACK. and they’re so cute and in love and kissing each other and saying ‘i love you’ a million times
  • but when the losers ask if they’re together yet they.. don’t give a straight answer bc they’re IDIOTS
  • whatever you do… DON’T imagine richie scoring the winning touchdown and everyone being so happy, and eddie running up and saying “that’s my boyfriend!”
  • eddie and richie just looking at each other like “AHHH WHAT”
  • richie kissing the life out of eddie AGAIN and… they’re officially boyfriends…. in love…..

lauren my love…. feel free to add on ily.

Lachesism! Lance

sooooo this is something me and @moppingleshitoutofyou came up with a while ago, hope yall enjoy!!

you can check out some of my other mini fics here


Lance didn’t really know when it started. There were too many incidents to pinpoint its exact origins. It could have began when he tried to jump out the window when he was six to prove that he could totally fly Marcos. Or when he was nine and ate a bee when Lily said they were dangerous, because how dangerous can a chubby little bumblebee be? It was like it was always there, this little voice urging him to prove his worth through dangerous tasks.

it wasn’t until he was fifteen when the real trouble began. 

Once again, the origins of the power he was given was unknown to him. He sorta just woke up one day and bam, he felt the emotions of everyone in the house. To say it was overwhelming would be an understatement. He could practically taste his mother’s worry and his sister’s sadness and he just wanted to help them you know? Ease their pain, because no one deserved to feel those emotions. Perhaps it was then that he became aware of the feelings his felt since he was a kid. He had a form of lachesism, or at least that’s what the therapist his parents forced him to go to told him.

It took countless hours of research to figure out what the hell lachesism even was, since it wasn’t something that simply popped up in everyday conversations. And the whole emotions things? Yeah, it took a while to figure out how that fit into this mess. 

In fact, he was still trying to figure it all out when he went to the Garrison, which was yet another mess because he could feel all of the students’ emotions too. His family’s emotions were barely a sliver of what he had to endure every day. There was just, just so much sadness here. It was like a new wave hit him every time he moved, encasing him in this bubble of hurt. It was too much at times, causing him to spiral into anxiety attacks when Hunk was asleep. 

Yet, he thrived in the pain he was forced to endure everyday. Maybe it was the fact he was given this power to know what everyone was feeling, but he finally felt like he was worth something. Who else could stand feeling other’s emotions constantly thrown at them, if they were not at least worth something. Call it middle child syndrome, but Lance finally felt like he could make a difference. He could help these people! All he had to do was try to keep them happy and their sadness would begin to melt away. 

Thus, class-clown Lance was born at the age of 16, who was always there to crack a joke. He learned to talk more to make others feel comfortable and laugh loud enough for everyone to feel included. Finally, Lance felt clarity in his mind for the first time in years, and he was able to truly believe he had worth.

However this only solved the problem for a bit, as smiles can only go so far. Soon the sadness returned, albeit weaker than before, but it was still there. This unsettled Lance more than he thought it would. How could he help now? How could he prove he was more than just a cargo pilot? He was already struggling to keep up with Keith and now this? 

It was when Lance was comforting Hunk after a panic attack did he realize just how far his powers could reach. 

The two had been cuddling when Lance felt this pull, this tug towards Hunk’s emotions that he never felt before. He followed it of course and the feeling was indescribable. It was like he drowning in Hunk’s emotions, each feeling circling around him, urging him to touch, to feel. Shakily, he mentally reached out for the anxiety that kept bubbling up and it was like he sinking in this void of emotions that was endless. It wormed itself inside of Lance until it was gone, residing within him rather than Hunk. It was terrifying.

But Hunk’s smile after it was over, his slight laughter as he stated he felt better than he had in years, made it all worth it.


After being swept up in the whirlwind that was Voltron, Lance knew once again that he had worth. It wasn’t in his shooting capabilities or in his powerful bond with his lion or even in the persona he still continued. No, it was in the way he took away Pidge’s worry and soothed it with reassurance, how he slipped into Shiro’s room at night and removed the terror that plagued him to allow him a decent night of rest, and in the way he harbored Allura and Coran’s homesickness for the world they lost and offered them the feeling of family instead. This was his purpose, his way of showing his worth in subtle ways.

It took a toll on Lance though, the emotions he took away finding a home in his chest, weighing him down. He could feel the anxiety in his fingertips, the fear in his bones, and the never ending sadness in his mind. But it was worth it wasn’t it? He was protecting his teammates from the pain of these awful emotions, keeping up the spirits of Voltron through his pain. It was worth it. 

Blue didn’t think so. She’d often lecture Lance on overdoing it and how it truly wasn’t worth it, but couldn’t she see that it was? By him feeling this, surviving through this, he was able to see Pidge laugh freely and Hunk grow into his role as a paladin. Watch as Keith became more open to the group, his previous doubts now backed up with trust in his team. 

Oh cub, can’t you see how it weighs you down, how it tears you apart? She had asked one morning, specifically after a nasty panic attack. Can’t you see you’re worth more than this? That you’re more than just Lance, that you’re my paladin who doesn’t deserve this? Can’t you see?

But in the grand scheme of things, his wellbeing doesn’t matter, only that Voltron can still form. He was simply helping the process and he would be there for his team no matter what.

Despite this, Lance began to close in on himself. He spent hours upon hours with Blue, strengthening his powers so he could become more. He learned to manipulate the emotions, how to expel them onto others, making them feel the pain he suffered through each and everyday. He still went through his daily cleaning, helping each Paladin in whatever form they needed before heading back to his hangar and remaining there till night. The persona Lance built back at the Garrison had begun to crack, but it was fine because he was becoming stronger right? Now he could truly protect his team. He was no longer an emotional dump. He could send those emotions to whoever he pleased. He had worth.

The team began to get worried, however. They noticed how Lance began to close up, disappearing for hours on end. They knew they had to do something about it, but how?

“Maybe we could corner him?” Keith suggested, shrugging. 

“No, no, he wouldn’t tell us what was wrong if we did that. How about we call him up to the bridge?” Hunk replied, glancing at Shiro, who was pacing. 

“I don’t think that’ll work Hunk, you’ve seen Lance. Our best bet might be to go down to his hangar and speak to him there, the Blue Lion might help back us up,” Shiro sighed, looking down the hallway to where the hangars were,”I know he might freeze up but it’s the only option that gives us the backup of a lion.” 

The team nodded, Hunk simply turning silently, before beginning their dissent towards the hangars, nervousness tickling the back of their necks. It wasn’t long until they all stood before the door of the Blue Lion’s hangar. With a quick glance at the team Shiro was about to open it when it opened on its own silently, shocking the team slightly. Blue hummed quietly in the back of their minds before disappearing, allowing the paladins to enter her hangar. 

Hunk almost fainted at what awaited them, the rest gasping at the sight before them. 

There in the middle of the hangar, sat Lance surrounded by a hurricane of black that swirled faster with each passing second. His eyes were squeezed shut, not seeing the paladins, yet they all felt like he just knew. It was when he opened his eyes that all hell broke loose.


Here’s Part Two !

Some hilarious prompts #2

(bcs why not) Finally my collection of text posts will get in use omgg :D:D:DD:

(is possible to be customized)
(Send me requests with 1/1+ prompt/s. I write about a lot of fandoms and also a lot of different things : one shots/scenarios/imagines/headcanons/chats/conversations/aesthetics/alomst anything) REQUESTS ARE OPEN! (for promts from this list and from the first one ; third one)

82. Do you ever talk to a person and your heart starts doing some dubstep shit.

83. If you can’t deal with my sarcasm, I can’t deal with being your friend. 

84. I’m nothing but a constant state of internal screaming at this point.

85. I went to the beach once, 500 years later I still have fucking sand in my shoes.

86. How long after arriving at someone’s house is it appropriate to ask for the WiFi password?

87. Getting real tired of my own bullshit.

88. Thanks elevators, for bringing me up when I was down.

89.  Here’s a little song I like to call “I cherish our friendship so I won’t tell you I would totally have sex with you if you asked.”

90. A: Do you ever get the urge to get up in the middle of the night while everyone else  is fast asleep and just walk places and be completely and entirely dedicated to your thoughts?
      B: Yea, but the problem is I don’t want to get murdered. You feel me. 

91. Let me sleep in your stupid t-shirts and hold your dumb hand, you piece of shit.

92. need a gang to follow me around all day and clap when I make jokes.

93.  You know that feeling when you’re not your favourite person’s favourite person, and it kind of feels like you’re constantly swallowing sand.

94. “Stop being so dramatic” they say, “I don’t know what you mean” I say as I descent from the ceiling, surrounded by mist.

95. Just because you’re trash doesn’t mean you can’t do great things. It’s called garbage can, not garbage cannot.

96. Studies show that I literally did not ask.

97. A: It doesn’t matter what you look like on the outside…
      B: Whew!!! good
      A:…It’s who you are on the inside!
      B: Ah, fuck!

98.  A (puts their hand over their crush’s): Ha ha how’d that get there?

99. I express my emotions in long groans at different octaves.

100. I mean you piss me off, but I’d do anything for you.

101. Honestly, sometimes you just gotta let me be dramatic. Because I will get over it. But let me be dramatic first!

102. Do you ever feel like a 4 times divorced 45 year old woman that smokes cigarettes in her fur coats on a grand piano? Cause I do and it’s sad.

103. Single, not sure how to mingle.

104. I love it when people rant to me, like yes, I am entrusted with your hate.

105. My idea of flirting is making fun of each other, until one of us fucks up and says something nice.

106. A: I hate playing “never have I ever” because I’m a fucking slut.
        B: I hate playing “never have I ever” because I’m a fucking virgin.

107. Do you live on Elm Street, because you’re a nightmare.

108. Remember your parents told you to take out the trash? I’m the trash. They were telling you to take me out. Date me.

109. You know, liking someone and pretending you don’t is a lot of hard work.

110. How do you politely tell someone that you want them naked and on top of you?

111.  A (whispering): I really like you and want to kiss you a lot.
        B: What?
        A: I said you suck.

112. Have you ever accidentally befriended someone who is very very irritating?

113.  If you step on a person’s foot they open their mouth, just like a trash can.

114. How do I get over someone I never even dated?

115. Things I want - snuggles. Things get - struggles.

116. If you see me and I’m not wearing black, you saw wrong, that’s not me.

117. Why do we need to watch the sky to enjoy the stars, when the ulitimate star is me.

118. I hate when It’s so hot outside and a bitch tells you to take your jacket off, like bitch no, this is my outfit.

119. If karma doesn’t come around and hit you in the face, I will.

120. I don’t think I’ve ever shut up in my entire life.

121. A: You don’t talk much.
        B: I’m observing your weaknesses since you’re so freely verbalizing everything about yourself.

122.  A: My kink is when people actually care about my feelings and what I have to say
         B: Too unrealistic, settle for bondage like the rest of us.

123. A: Your future self is watching you right now through your memories.
        B: Not if I get drunk enough.

124. A: Is there a word between angry and sad?
        B: Malcontented, disgruntled, miserable, desolated.
        A: Smad.
        B: Oh my gOD.

125. Does the pale glow of my computer make me look hot?

126. Rest in peace to all the hours of sleep I’ve lost to overthinking.

127. You know it’s really rude to talk while I’m interrupting.

128. Is “no” an emotion, because I feel it?

129.  I always look sleep deprived is that hot?

130. If you listen carefully you can hear me whisper “shut the fuck up” at least once every five minutes.

131. I’m kind of hurt, kind of offended, kind of not planning on saying anything about it.

132.  I’m tired 8 days a week.

133. I don’t trust people who look good with messy hair.

134.  I may be a shitty friend, but I’m your shitty friend.

135. Seven billion people on this planet and I have 2 friends. What is wrong with people, like put some effort in it, I’m not just gonna come and do the job for you.

136.  I’m sorry, is my swag distracting you?

137. I aspire to get to that level of hot when my hair looks like shit and I smell like black coffee and yesterday’s eyeliner is smudged under my eyes, but I still look fine as hell.

138. A: No, listen! What if one day you just turned into an almond and you couldn’t do anything about it because you were just a fucking almond?!
       B: You need to get laid, you weirdo.

139. A: You wear that a lot.
        B: That’s because I’m the main character of the story here, peasant.

140.  I don’t “dress to impress”, I dress to depress. I want to look so good that people hate themselves.

141. Behind every great man is me, checking out that ass.

142. The future is now, old man.

143. Seriously, all you do is bitch.

144. Are you trying to seduce me? Because so far you’re doing a great job.

145. Forgive and forget? More like resent and remember.

146. I’m that kind of person who between two choices always picks the wrong one.

147. I know what you’re going through, I read “The Perks of Being a Wallflower”.

148. Excuse me, I hate to go and vomit.

149. A: One day I hope I am the girl that walks into a room and all eyes are on her.
        B: The trick is to get a really big hat and scream.

150.  So tired of being human, I want to be a flower.

151. Screenshots don’t scare me, I know what the fuck I said!

152. I’m sorry for what I said, I was hungry.

153. A: Don’t buy a girl flowers. Flowers die. Buy her a dragon.
        B: Because dragons don’t die?
        A: Because it’s hard to say “no” to something that can murder you instantaneously.

154. I want to be rebellious, but I don’t want to get in trouble.

155. A to B: Breaking news: being an asshole all the time doesn’t make you complicated and mysterious, it just makes you an asshole

156. You know it’s really rude to talk while I’m interrupting.

157. One of these days I’m going to roll my eyes too hard and I’m gonna go blind.

158. I’m not a hint taker, you need to speak up.

159. Why allow yourself to be full of hate, when you can be full of pasta instead?

160. I’m an angry person and I want to let it all out and be an asshole, but I’m also a nice person and I don’t want to actually hurt anyone’s feelings, do you feel me?

How Wanna One Would Confess

A/N: I have my most important exam coming up and instead I’m sat writing for you, you’re welcome (jk). I got several requests for confessions, so I thought I’d just do all the members in a blurb – I hope that’s okay!



Jisung

Okay, so I feel like Jisung is the type who would straight up tell you that he likes you. Not in a neutral way, but one time when you were hanging out together. You’d be in a café together and he wouldn’t be able to stop smiling while looking at you, so you would ask him what he’s looking at. He would answer something like “you, because you’re cute” and after you thanked him for the compliment he would add “you know that I really like you, right?” and I swear to good he would seem so nonchalant about it, but on the inside his heart is beating faster than the speed of light until you tell him that you like him back.

Originally posted by misckpop

Sungwoon

Sungwoon would be a bit more shy about a confession, even though he’d like to be all smooth about it. I think he would be really shy about the person he liked and probably ramble a lot and shallow half his words because he’s just in a daze when being with you. If you look extra good one day or if you’re being extra sweet to him then he would get really flustered and you’d ask him: “Is everything alright?” And his answer would be something like: “Yes, no – I don’t know, you make me nervous.” And then you’d be like ‘oh’ because you understand what he means and then have to save him from being such a mess.

Originally posted by joker283

Minhyun

I don’t think Minhyun would be very nervous about a confession. Well, of course his pulse would be a bit higher than usual, but I don’t think he would really confess unless he was quite sure that you liked him back. If you’ve planned to do something together one day, he’ll show up at your place with a bouquet of flowers and tell you then. “Are these for me?” You’d ask and he would just answer with a simple: “Mhm, who else would I give flowers to?” And then he would probably do something really smooth like kiss your cheek or something and that would be his entire confession.

Originally posted by nu-blessed

Seongwoo

Seongwoo would be a bit extra about the whole thing. If you’ve watched Produce 101 then you know about his playful, cocky image, which he would bring into a potential love life. The way he would confess would be to try to get you to confess first, by observing your reactions to any skinship he does and things he tells you. If he tells you that you look pretty one day and your reaction is to get shy, he’ll go in for the kill and say something like: “Are you that affected by compliments or is it just because they’re coming from me?” Followed up by cutting you off with: “It’s okay, I get like that if you call me handsome too.”

Originally posted by kulo-ren

Daniel

Daniel’s confessions would be the sweetest and most cheesy things. I think he would probably confess without even realising it, it could be over text message or over the phone. You would kind of already know he likes you by the way he says he misses you or all the hearts he texts you, but the real confession would occur if you’re lying on the couch at your place and watching a movie. He’s the type to want to pull you on top of him for you to get comfy if you’re sleepy. He would then stroke your hair and then say: “I like this.” And pause for a while before saying: “I like us.”

Originally posted by ichnite

Jaehwan

Would 100% be super cheesy and sing his confession to you. Not really grand, like on a stage while you’re in the crowd, but more like sitting you down and taking his guitar to show you a new song he learned. After singing, he would say it made him think of you and smile like an idiot. This is where you should come in and tell him that you also thought of him while listening or saying that it made you very happy so you can live happily ever after. Okay, scratch that last part, just kiss him or something.  

Originally posted by godkimjaehwan

Jihoon

To many people Jihoon may seem like a type of tsundere, but I think he really shows it when he likes being with someone. He shows he likes someone by clinging onto them or talking to them a lot. He’ll know himself how obvious his crush on you is and just assume he doesn’t have to say it straight to you. His friends would probably comment on how he likes you so much and ask you why you aren’t together yet, but you would just answer that it hasn’t really been brought up yet. After he finds out about this conversation, he’ll go straight to you and say: “If I knew I just had to ask if you wanted to go out with me to get to date you then I would have done it ages ago.” And boom, you’re dating.

Originally posted by woojinsus

Woojin

Okay, but, if you saw the show then you know he’s such an awkward little bean. He opens up so well after a while though, so how comfortable he is depends on how well he knows you. I imagine him being friends with the person he’s confession to first and trying to leave subtle hints here and there. The thing is, they would be too subtle to notice, it would be things like just brushing his hand against yours carefully or giving you a compliment about your hair or outfit or anything here and there. After a while he might be frustrated and just ask to talk to you alone. Then he would straight up utter the words: “I like you” just like that and wait for your reaction. If you’re anything like him, the answer might just be: I like you too.” And YAY, feelings conveyed.

Originally posted by swoojin

Jinyoung

This boy would be so nervous to confess your feelings to you, mostly because he would be worried about your reaction to it. He would probably have to admire you from afar (in a non-creepy way, just some looks and eye-contact at times) before speaking to you more and more and getting to know you. When he actually gets to telling you that he likes you, it would go something like: “Uhm, I was just wondering if yiu, maybe, would like, possibly, want to go out with me? Only if you want to of course!” And he’d be all shy and scratch the back of his head while doing so.

Originally posted by winkdeep

Daehwi

Would 100% absolutely and totally confess by accident. You could be out walking together, probably after buying some food or just walk to get some air or something. You would say something really dumb, either it being a bad pun or a silly question and he’d just go: “Oh my god why do I like you again?” And you’re like: “Uhm, you never said you liked me.” And then he’s like oh shit this didn’t go as planned, but he’d try to get himself back awkwardly and cover it up and pretend he totally meant to do it. Lastly, he would just hope for the best and that you like him back.

Originally posted by hitoritabi

Guanlin

I feel like Guanlin’s confession would be the most normal one. He would be a bit quiet and lowkey about liking you, but at the same time he’d smile and laugh at a lot of the things you say and just feel really at ease being around you. When he’s comfortable enough he would ask you if you liked him, rather than telling you he liked you. That would mostly be because it’s less nerve-wracking. If you said yes, he would smile really brightly and go: “Good, cause I also like you a lot.”

Originally posted by euiwoong

xixi-land  asked:

Hi, thank you for posting so many victuuri recs! Are there any rec lists where Victor proposes to Yuuri??

Thank you for these requests! I freakin’ love proposal fics! I read these all the time, so get ready for a lot of fics!

Originally posted by xx-kawaii-monster-xx


Proposal Fics


Round and Gold by oh_imintrouble, Gen, 1.4k
Yuuri wins the Grand Prix Final and gives Victor something round a gold. Victor gives him something else round and gold in return. One shot proposal fic. I’m totally not crying, there’s just something in my eye…

we’ll call this place our home by perennials, Gen, 1.3k
The Big Day approaches, and Viktor seeks advice from various members of the Katsuki family. SO CUTE!!!!

properly by Aimerz, Teen, 3.1k
In which Victor is shit at proposing, and Yuuri wants to do it all over again. Thumbs up!

A Beautiful Morning by Jawbones, Mature, 1k
Viktor pulls him even closer, moving to lie on top of him, burying his face into his chest. Yuuri looks down, is greeted by bright blue eyes and a smile. I’M SCREAMING THIS IS SO PERFECT

Settle Down by EttaMills, Teen, 2.7k
Yuuri remembers when Victor once said, during an interview, that if the marriage doesn’t work out, it is no big deal. Unfortunately, he remembers this during Victor’s proposal. It goes about as well as can be expected. Bonus clueless Victor!

5 Times Yuuri Tried to Kiss Victor + 1 Time he Did by kireiflora, Gen, 7.2k
Yuuri has always wanted to kiss Victor, and he has, many times since he burst into his life, but there are five attempts that stick out most. And the most important one that actually happened. SO FRICKIN’ CUTE OMG

Anything You Want by Flightless_Bird, Teen, 2.6k
Victor’s heart stung. He knew that he shouldn’t get annoyed when he was clearly in the wrong; but it still hurt to think that Yuuri believed a few flashing cameras were more important to Victor than him. This is a rollercoaster of emotions but there’s a happy ending, don’t worry!

Say Yes by CutesyMe, Gen, 1.5k
Victor asks for Yuri’s parents for approval! SO CUTE OMGG

Happy Valentine by katsudonfemmefatale, Explicit, 6.8k
Yuuri has forgotten a particular day he’s never had caused to celebrate… but his fiancé certainly hasn’t. I LOVE THIS SO MUCH

Etched in the Ice by SharkGirl, Teen, 1.5k
“Since when did you get so good at this sort of thing?” Yuuri reached for one of his hands, lacing their fingers and bringing them to his lips. “I learned from the best.” CAN YOU HEAR ME SCREAMING OMGOGM

Advent Calendar by sushicorps (Inclinant), Teen, 2.3k
“I’ll skate for you. Not for a medal, not for myself, but for you.” Yuuri gives Victor an advent calendar!

Language of Love by OrionsProdigy95, Gen, 694 words
Victor is going to propose to Yuuri, but he’s just not sure how. So what’s the harm in trying it in Russian? Yuuri couldn’t understand it anyways, right? LOVE!

lay us down (we’re in love) by chromyrose, Teen, 4.8k
It was Viktor’s love that taught Yuuri how to love himself. SO MANY FEELS

Hey Baby! I Think I Wanna Marry You! by Sandyclaws68, Gen, 1.3k
Viktor had hedged his bets in Barcelona by never specifying which gold medal would result in their marriage. The fluffiest!

Proposal by Aggie731, Teen, 3.1k
Yuuri won gold at the Grand Prix Final. Viktor surprises him. Love this!

Life and Love: Agape by makkachincrossing, Explicit, 5.2k
“Viktor…” he murmured as he pulled away gently from the kiss to cast his eyes up slightly, meeting mine again. “If I win gold at the Grand Prix final… will you marry me?” Definitely recommend!!

a thing to be shared by radialarch, Gen, 794 words
Two things happen in Barcelona. VERY sweet!

The Prince and His Servant by BigGhost, Teen, 1.8k
Victor likes to be dramatic. Yuri doesn’t realize exactly how dramatic. This is great!

to me, only you by katsukis, Gen, 3.2k
Despite the rings however, Viktor doesn’t know if they really are engaged or not. Tonight, Viktor is going to propose to him, properly, and he’s got it all planned out. *queue gross sobbing*

On Absence, Fondness, and Never Leaving his Side by BeautyButterBae, Teen, 12k
“Would you do me the great honor and marry me, Katsuki Yuuri?” Wow! This is a must-read!

Interlude by TheRavenLady, 3.5k
After they get back from the restaurant, after Viktor has decided and proclaimed to their closest friends that he intends to marry Yuuri, they go back to the hotel and have a little heart-to-heart about it. Lots of fluff!

Marry Me? by sergeantwinter, Gen, 322 words
Viktor smiled, moving the hair out of Yuuri’s face and leaning in to kiss him again. SUPER quick fic that gets your heart all fluttery!

The furnace is broken. When Nursey goes downstairs to do laundry, Dex has his toolbox out. There’s a smear of grime down the side of his face and smudges on his light gray t-shirt.

“What, no music?” Nursey asks, piling his clothes in the washer.

Dex shakes his head.

“How’s it going?”

Dex shrugs.

Nursey pours in detergent, turns the water temperature to cold, and starts the cycle. “Are you okay?”

Dex looks away. “I don’t actually know how to fix furnaces. I’m just guessing here.”

“Is there someone you can call?” Nursey asks.

Keep reading

Using prophecies in fantasy without making eyes roll

Good ol’ stand-bys, ubiquitous fantasy tropes, are difficult to avoid. And sometimes we don’t want to avoid them. Goddammit, sometimes you just need a good, solid prophecy to write the story your want to write. 

“It’s not my fault all these other people before me have written prophecies, too!” you say. 

And you’d be right. Unfortunately, they did. So us modern-day writers have to live with the it. So what do you do when you want or need to use a well-worn trope? 

Know the trope. Make it your own. 

Know that, no matter what you do, some readers will still hate it.

But you can’t make everyone happy, right? So let’s get started.

How-to guidelines from our predecessors

Prophecies in fiction have been used countless times. But there are reasons why we continue to use them. And while you don’t want to completely copy how it has been done before, we can all learn something from the basic form of real and fictional prophecies. 

1. Prophecies are often vague and general

The language and phrasing used in prophecies, because of its important and symbolic nature, tends to go for sounding mystic and grand over sensible and utilitarian. This language achieves its poetic goal, but as a price, the meaning can be allusive, vague, or even seem contradictory. 

A man named Jerry will kill a man in a fight on the corner of 3rd and Main on the fifth of January, 3820. 

On the dawn of winter in a forest of gray, when one life dims, another remains.

One of these actually gives you some useful information. The other could mean a vast array of different things at any point in time, but technically applies to the same situation. One of them (though poorly) reads more like something you’d find in a piece of fiction. 

2. Prophecies are often misinterpreted

There’s likely to be disagreement on the meaning of any yet-to-be-fulfilled prophecy. If it’s well-known, then common folk might take it to mean one thing, while the wealthy another. The well-educated might take it to mean one or two (or three or a thousand) things, while the uneducated take it to mean another. If there are two prominent schools of thought, then people might passionately disagree about the meaning. It’s possible that none of these interpretations are true. 

‘Tis the nature of vague and metaphorical language.

The culture of your world will influence how people treat the prophecy. Conversely, the prophecy and its interpretation might have a huge impact on the culture, government, or religion of your world. 

3. Prophecies are given in context

In the example above about the murder in winter, with no context that “prophecy” means basically nothing. Part of what creates nuances in interpretation of prophecies is variations in the understanding of the prophecy’s context. 

Upon the rebirth of the emperor, the dark messenger will be slain; the eagle will conquer the land.

In this sample, very little is made clear when there’s no context. We have no reason to care, let alone believe, what these words are trying to convey. But say that our myths tell the story of a vanished young emperor who would someday reappear to take his throne, that the messengers of evil are immortal, and that the eagle is symbolic of peace…

It all starts to make a bit of sense, doesn’t it? Any alteration in context, however, could vastly change the meaning. 

Prophecies don’t stand alone. They only work within their context. They aren’t created in a vacuum and they are not understood in a vacuum. Creating the vibrant world that surrounds your prophecy will go a long way to making it interesting and important.

4. Prophecies require a prophet

Why do people believe the prophecy? Why don’t they? When implementing a prophecy into your world, you need to pay attention to how people receive its message and ensure that that belief has a sensible backing. 

A prophecy came from the mouth (or pen) of a prophet. If the people of your world totally buy into the words of this prophecy, then there needs to be a reason. What made this prophet reliable? 

What not to do: There was this old woman and everything she said was totally batty…all except this one thing. This one thing will definitely be absolutely true, so help me, God.

Like any aspect of culture, the “why” factor is important. Why do people believe the prophecy? Why has it survived so many years? Or perhaps people don’t believe the prophecy…so why is that? 

Consider Nostradamus. He’s a pretty infamous prophet, even though only some of what he said every seemed true (and almost entirely in retrospect). For the most part, when you mention him, people will kind of laugh it off. It’s mostly a joke. However…his words might also be true! But it’s best not to put all your money on it. 

How are the words of your prophet generally received? How will this affect how your Important Prophecy™ is viewed and understood by the people?

“This Important Prophecy™ is believed because my story needs it to be believed,” is not a good reason. So make sure it runs deeper than that.

Pitfalls to avoid

1. Using a prophecy as a matter of course

Your prophecy should have a very integral part in your story and world. Using a pointless prophecy or using one just because you think, since you’re writing fantasy, you probably should, are one-way tickets to eye-rolls. 

Like any trope, if you’re sticking it artlessly into your story, then you doing the trope and yourself a disservice. Every element you choose to include in your story should drive it forward, should deepen your conflict or characters. No inclusion should be made flippantly. Be sure that if you’re including a prophecy, you use it to its full potential.

2. Making it too simple or mundane

If you’re doing it right, then your prophecy will be super important to your story. And if it’s super important, you’re going to want it to be super interesting. If a dull, run-of-the-mill Chosen One prophecy is, unironically, what your story hinges on, then you’re likely going to get some eye-rolls and, worse, readers who put down your book.

3. Going for too much

On the other end of the spectrum, prophecies that are convoluted or require the ten-page backstory to put into context are likely going to take too much attention away from your actual story. Prophecies tend to focus on one (general) event. It can cover a few facets of this one event, but if you try to outline too much you risk detracting from the here-and-now or getting too far in over your (or your character’s) head. 

Things to consider

  • Is the fulfillment of the prophecy a mystery even to your reader? Or does the story give the answer, leaving the path to the fulfillment to be the mystery?
  • Is your prophecy immutable? Is it Destiny and it will come true no matter what anyone does?
  • Is the prophecy self-fulfilling? How do the characters’ knowledge of the prophecy affect events? How might their ignorance of it? 
  • How does the fulfillment differ or align with the expectations held by the characters?
  • Did the prophet speak of their own freewill, with true foreknowledge, or were they a vessel for a deity, or some supernatural being?
  • How was the prophecy passed down to the present? Was it done so flawlessly, or might there have been translation, oral, or interpretation errors that happened along the way?
  • How widely accepted, or known, is the prophecy among the common people? 
  • How common are prophecies in general? Does this one stand out in some way? If so, how and why?
  • Does the prophecy give away an outcome, or does it simply set up a situation?
  • How detailed is your prophecy and how have those seemingly specific details been misinterpreted?
  • How certain is anyone that they understand the prophecy? 
  • If the prophecy proves to be false, how does that element find resolution within the structure of the narrative? (i.e. if you placed great importance on the prophecy with the intention of pulling the rug out from under your reader, how are you going to resolve the situation to keep them from feeling cheated?)

What do you think about the use of prophecies in fiction? What are some of your favorites or least favorites?

Happy writing!

Fathers Day for Tony (Quick Fic)

For @shitshitshitshitwhy who asked for an Awkward!Spidey trying to say Happy Fathers Day to Tony

Tom Holland is Peter, of course RDJ is Tony.

*********************

Peter had been trying to talk to Tony all day.

First in the elevator that morning, as they headed up to Tony’s mandatory Sunday breakfast with the team. Peter had been thrilled to catch Tony alone for once, and had reached in his backpack for the small package and card he had bought yesterday, only to turn around and see Tony on his phone, talking loudly about the pillows on his bed and why they just weren’t fluffy enough, and yes he was aware pillows deflated, but he needed perpetually fluffy pillows.

Peter had just sighed and put the package away.

>>>>>>>>>

After breakfast when Tony and Happy were arguing over who to invite to the birthday party for Clint that weekend, Peter tried to talk to him again.

“Um, Mr Stark?” Peter cleared his throat nervously. “Mr Stark if you have a moment–”

“Do you think it would be obnoxious to decorate in purple?” Tony was saying and Happy nodded emphatically.

“Tony, Clint hates purple.”

“But Clint wears purple.” Tony countered.

“Mr. Stark.” Peter tried again. “I need like two seconds, just real quick.”

“Hey Underoos.” Tony said with a bright smile and Peter flushed a little in happiness. “Do you think Clint would shoot me with an arrow if I decorated his party in purple because Happy thinks—”

“I’ll come back.” Peter said dejectedly, and waved, completely unnoticed by them.

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5

Here are my favorite entries for both #septicart events Jack made thus far! I’ve done around 15 pieces in total, but I feel like these really show how much I’ve grown as an artist over time, all thanks to this amazing and welcoming community.

I don’t wanna make a monster post, though this one already seems a bit too long, but I’d like to thank all of the wonderful people I call friends by now for sticking with me throughout this little adventure of mine, for supporting and believing in me and my artwork, no matter how much I despise it myself. Anytime I feel down or like my art is not worth being out here, they always stick with me and have my back. I can’t possibly thank them, or Jack and Robin, as well as Signe, enough for keeping me busy with drawing and thus giving me somewhat of an idea of what I want to do when I’m a little older than 17 years old. Thanks to you I know I can do something that lasts, I know I can create something out of the blue and I know that I can make a difference somehow, in some way.

So, thank you. Simply thank you. I’m glad and hope that I can give at least a little bit back by illustrating these pictures in one way or another. I hope everyone enjoyed these events as much as I did and that everybody had a grand ol’ time, haha!

- Jane

;delicate (m)

pairing— min yoongi x reader, pianist! yoongi
genre/warnings— smut, oral, fingering, slightly-dom! yoongi, 
words— 4,373

:: summary— in which Yoongi is your piano teacher and you just can’t stop yourself from looking at those delicate fingers and all the not-so delicate things he could do with them…

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