do you think this is acceptable

Tips for Listening Well

1. Don’t interrupt. Let the speaker finish what they are saying – and at a speed that is comfortable for them – before formulating your own response.

2. Give the speaker your full and undivided attention. Ignore what is happening around you and block out distracting noises.

3. Pay attention to your own internal dialogue, and don’t allow your mind to wander. This is not the time for you to be judging or mentally criticising the speaker, or to be thinking about all the items on your to-do list for the day. Focus on what is being said, the tone of voice, and the body language of the speaker.

4. Pay attention to your own body language. Ask yourself: what kind of vibes am I giving off? What kind of message am I sending? The emphasis should be on looking and sounding concerned, interested, focused, accepting and genuine.

5. Be comfortable with silence. Often silence encourages the person to say more. Also, we don’t need to have an answer to every question, or a solution to every problem. Most of the time it’s presence and empathy that count the most.

6. Don’t get drawn into playing the game of “I have it so much worse than you; or my problem is bigger than yours.” In this situation, you are there for them. They are the focus and priority right now.

anonymous asked:

(sorry if you've answered this before) what do you think creates iv blindapots? e.g. a person ends up with sx blindspot because there was lack of interpersonal love in their family?

It has a lot to do with early life, and these are just hypotheses mind you, but:

So blind: felt “othered” early in life, was made in some way to be an outsider. Grew up with the knowledge they didn’t fit in, often in a bad way. Their family and peers probably made fun of them or just made them feel unwelcome wherever they went. This caused them to internalize it– something about them was “off” and “not acceptable” and “not normal” and “bad”, so they took it and ran with it. Took ownership of it until they could use it as a badge of pride, made it to the point where standing out and away from the crowd was good, and later in life they tend to find likeminded folk. They’ve learned that you can’t rely on other people, who will turn their backs on you at a moments notice– that’s why you have to be picky about who you trust, because their entire lives have been dictated by trust breeches. It’s hard for them to accept that groups may want them to be a part, because they’re used to being alone and rejected. That’s why they’re aloof- it’s self protection.

My personal anecdote was that I went to a very conservative Catholic elementary school in a small town in northern Canada, and my mother was a single mother, a known drug addict, and on welfare. It took years for my classmates to even speak to me beyond what was necessary. Even the friends I made were discouraged from hanging out with me by their parents because I lived in a bad neighbourhood. My mom isolated me from my peers and forced me to look after my brothers, which really sealed the deal. Also, this was back in the day when being “nerdy” was a social death sentence lol. I was bullied basically until ninth grade when I became the bully, and I think my so blind kicked in very hard at that time. Found other so blinds and banded together, stirred some shit, etc.

Sp blind: usually spoiled middle class+ kids, who were either doted upon or had money and resources thrown at them. Later in life, when people get tired of supporting them, they begin to flounder because they never learned life skills as a kid, or never valued them or learned to value them. May have also grown up in a strict family where rules and regulations protected them from the outside world, and having to think or act on their own. Alternatively, they lived in very lax conditions, and instead of developing sp to compensate, they internalized the values they were being shown. Pretty self explanatory.

Sx blind: basically like you said. Raised by John Everyman and his wife, Linda Middleclass. They were probably absent a lot, and likely the types to live vicariously through their children, which lead them to forming identities entirely dictated by social standards to ensure their survival and happiness. Sx blinds were given poor examples as children, and simply failed to clue in on some essential part of human existence– but its made them damn good at getting what they want out of people. They have to know how to play the game, because all they were taught WAS the game. Like so blinds, they may have been bullied, but instead of withdrawing and putting up barriers, they try to ingratiate themselves to the group to save themselves.

Of course, there will be exceptions.

plumadesatada  asked:

mom is there any spell we can do to help you feel better, either emotionally or physically?

Oh, that’s sweet, but if there was I think it would have worked a while ago. That said I will always be happy to accept well wishes and prayers, whatever form they take. 

anonymous asked:

Can u do a cute n fluffy au of hoseok from monsta x and a plus size reader? It can be whatever u want it to be. I loved ur jaehyun one

hey hey hey i plan to write a full fledged wonho x plus sized reader one day but for now i’ll just do a short au

• wonho is one of the sweetest people in the world he rlly sees the good in everyone??
• and i don’t think he’s a very closed minded person when it comes to his s/o’s body type, weight, race, sexuality, etc
• he’s a v open and accepting person like he loves everyone lol
• he’d see you right away and have like immediate heart eyes bc??? you have the prettiest hair and your cheeks look so round and cute
• wonho is tugging on kihyun’s sleeve like don’t look to your right but look to your right and tell me that person isn’t the cutest person you’ve ever sEEN KIHYUN
• and kihyun’s like “the only person i see is an old woman,,, i rlly hope you don’t mean her”
• and wonho whips around like ???? oh no :((( where’d they go??!!!
• you kind of have a lasting impact on him,,, wonho just wants to see you again,,,, maybe pluck up the courage to talk but who knows????
• the next time he sees you it’s when kihyun is dragging him into this record store wonho has never heard of
• and you’re behind the counter
• kihyun is like “hello y/n!!”
• wonho is like pulling kihyun away and whispering harshly into his ear “that’s the cutie! you’re friends with the person i saw the other day!!”
• kihyun is confused like “y/n? i thought you two knew each other? haven’t i brought you here before?”
• wonho is like no that was mINHYUK but i would appreciate it if you brought only me here during every visit you make until you die
• nd kihyun’s like don’t be dramatic i’ll introduce you
• wowowow wonho’s hands are sweating
• but you have a rlly sweet disposition and your smile has wonho’s ears turning red like,,, he’s rlly crushing on a stranger isn’t he
• you introduce yourself and give him a little wave “what are some of your music tastes, wonho?”
• and wonho doesn’t even notice but kihyun has left him alone w you
• and you’re leaning across the counter to hear him better
• and your perfume smells like lavender and wonho is staring at you with no words coming out of his mouth like he’s so!!! nervous!!!
• “coffee?” he says
• and your eyebrows furrow cutely “i’m sorry? your music taste is coffee?”
• “no, no,” wonho scratches the back of his neck bashfully, “i meant to say,, do you want to get coffee w me?”
• ofc you said yes :’)
• and once they two of you are officially friends wonho is probably the clingiest friend in the world
• a lot of this is because he has a crush on you but a lot of it is also bc he’s just an affectionate person
• and wonho compliments you all the time sometimes it’s just teasing and fun like dang girl you look good in those jeans *wriggly eyebrows* but other times it actually means something like “sometimes i look into your eyes and i swear i can see actual galaxies in there and you’re just so beautiful you remind me that there are so many more galaxies to be explored.”
• those comments make you blush a lot tbh
• but wonho has to be rrrrlllllllllyyyy sleepy to say deep stuff like that
• which is how he confesses to you
• it was one night after practice and he had just taken his shower,,,, all he wanted to do was go to bed
• but you were at the dorms hanging out w kihyun
• and he gets extra extra clingy when he’s sleepy so he immediately gravitates towards your warmth and like hugs you rlly tightly
• and you get nervous bc you still aren’t used to wonho’s affections and what if he feels your rolls and gets weirded out and all these worries circle your head but wonho just,,
• “you’re so soft and cozy. i love that about you. i love a lot of things about you, actually. i think i’m in love w you, y/n.”
• and you look down in surprise at his sudden confession,,, but he’s already fallen asleep against your shoulder,,,
• ahh cute

anonymous asked:

since tmrw is the beginning of asexual pride week, i’m thinking about coming out to my friends as ace. last year i came out as bisexual but now that i’ve had time i kinda discovered i don’t want/have sexual attraction. i’m now identifying as an asexual biromantic. what do you think?? is it ok to change my label? i’m kinda worried and need some type of support. thank you 💗💗💗

Of course it is. You changing a label is just you figuring out a new part of yourself, there’s no shame in it. I’m going to be honest when I say some friends might be a bit confused or annoyed (at one point in my life, I was that friend, not anymore though), but if people accepted you as bi they’ll probably accept you as ace. As for support: Good luck! You can do it! We believe in you!!  💐 💐

mains  call !    ———      if  we  are  mutuals  &.  we  have  spoken  out  of  character  before  ,  then  like  this  post  if  you  would  like  to  become  /  remain  mains !   current  list  of  mains  can  be  found  here.  i  will  be  accepting  two  of  each  character  ( possibly  three  ,  but  that  will  be  rare ).  please  check  the  list  before  liking  this.  thank  you !

sometimes i meet someone with my same zodiac n I kinda think

…I mean u don’t fit the criteria nor thy standard of being within Virgos, u bring shame to us…. Virgos are intellectuals they’re independent, but you? you do not belong, 

and I have to accept that but I don’t like it

anonymous asked:

Do you think Sauce is sensitive about Sakura touching his, idk what else to call it, stump? Like for non healing purposes? Do you think he's embarrassed or anything about it?

Not really, no—if solely for the way that touches the stump of his arm so lovingly. It’s not something she ever touches with discomfort, she’s very gentle and reverent… like she doesn’t just accept it, but she loves that it’s a part of him. And there’s really no place for him to feel embarrassed about it when she looks at him and touches his stump like that. :)

anonymous asked:

What do you think would be the worst for joker? That his daughter is dating a guy/girl or that his son is dating a guy/girl? Because in your imagines/headcanons/ask it always seems like joker would accept more that his son is dating. But then I remember that you also said In a ask that joker is obsessed with all his children (both boy and girl) and would not like to share their love with anyone els. Sorry but I just get a bit confused what your thought is on that. Love your blog ❤️

Thank you so much, doll!! I’ll start off by saying that each imagine is it’s own entity. So when I write one it really has nothing to do with the other unless it’s in parts. That also really extends to asks and headcanons as well. It’s all more based on the circumstances of the question or the plot. So him seeming more comfortable with a son dating in an imagine vs him being less comfortable with a daughter dating in an imagine was unintentional. It depends on the story as a whole, in some particular stories/asks/headcanons he’s against them dating at all where as in some he’s more accepting for example. In asks I try to keep it more as a whole overall. So there is neither where he’s more comfortable. It’s got nothing to do with his kids being a boy or a girl or dating a boy or a girl, it has everything to do with just his child giving their love/attention to another person besides him. Love to joker is about obsession and possession so for his child, who he considers to belong to him and he worships, to accept someone else into their life and give their heart to someone else is a devastating feeling to him. He’s crazy with jealousy and envy for that person because of his narcissism, he wants to be the only person in the world to his child. He looks at his clown family as separate from the rest of the world and where he doesn’t want anything invading or taking it from him, so the idea of a stranger coming in and disrupting that is awful to him. Like how manic he went when Harley was taken to belle reve and to the squad. The reality and world that they had created for themselves was broken and she was taken away and bonded with other people, which was unbearable to him. Hope this helps doll! Thank you for asking this too!

It is 2017

How in the world do you think it’s ok to call anyone a bitch, unless, for some reason, you and the other person are in agreement that it’s acceptable language?

notmyfricnds  asked:

hey bish tell me some trans headcanons for whoever u wish also rate me, luv u and ur blog and congrats on 1k xoxo <3

listen bih you know i’ve been thinking way too much about transgirl eddie with the entire losers club behind her & helping her feel accepted and loved, even when she first figures it out and comes out to them in tears bdjskd 

- bev would obviously love to do girl stuff with her 

- get-togethers with all the losers where she can be in girly clothes and makeup and just be herself when she doesn’t have the courage yet to walk the streets as a girl ya feel???

- later on when she is bold enough to go out as her true self she literally has 6 ppl looking after her at all times because no one is going to mess with her ok

- somewhere along the ride stan falls for her & they become an item i know u live for steddie ok let me have this

- it’s a struggle and there are shit days but overall everyone is happy because, again, let me have this 

url: not my style / ok / nice one / awesome / flawless / IM GONNA STEAL IT

icon:  not my style / ok / nice one / awesome / flawless / BEAUTIFUL

theme: not my style / ok / nice one / awesome / flawless / AESTHETIC GOALS

mobile:  not my style / ok / nice one / awesome / flawless / AESTHETIC GOALS

posts:  not my style / ok / nice / awesome / flawless / PRIME CONTENT

overall:  don’t get it / ok / good / awesome / flawless / MARRY ME

do i follow you: no but ily! / just did (ꈍᴗꈍ) / of course / FOREVER

I find some people’s attitudes to little kids really weird

Like I get not liking kids, I’m not particularly fond of them as a group (although there are individual kids I like shout out to my baby cousin he’s hilarious)

But like?? Being deliberately mean to and about kids???? That’s just weird

Do you not remember what being a child is like

Of course they’re gonna do socially unacceptable stuff they are little babies they don’t know what is and isn’t socially acceptable

Yes you are supposed to give them leeway “just because they’re kids” because guess what they are literally. Just kids. They don’t know shit. They’re little mini people who haven’t figured out this massively confusing world they’ve been thrust into and I don’t think you were perfectly behaved all the time when you were still in nappies so cut them some slack

like,,,,, do you honestly think gay bars are places you think yelling at total strangers is an acceptable thing???? Or reference an obscure internet meme by screaming it loudly and shit? like…. is that considered oppression if you’re denied from being a homophobic fool in a public setting meant for marginalised people???

We’re going to talk about how depressing and amazing this series was

We were watching this series from Dark’s perspective.

All those times the characters were describing us as trustworthy, someone they could depend on?  That’s Dark.  He was someone people could believe in, someone you could put your hopes in.  

Dark tried to help.  He did everything he could for everyone, no matter how dangerous the situation became.  And what does he get in return for his bravery and trust in others?

He gets shot.  He gets shot by the Colonel, falls off the balcony, and dies. 

And Damien and Selene are lost and confused and pissed.  Mark took EVERYTHING from them.  And there’s only one solution to their problem: putting you back into your body.  But as Damien says, “you can’t survive on your own.”  We have to let them in.  

So we do.  

And the first thing we see is the man who caused this.  A man who is CLEARLY not sane, he thinks this whole thing was a joke.  He’s waiting for Damien and Selene to come out and laugh along with him.  But that won’t ever happen, and he rather laugh than deal with the consequences of his actions. 

And the last thing we see is our reflection.  Dark’s reflection.  You can see how resentful and angry and hurt he is.  But you can also see how he accepts his position.  He accepts what happened to him, and he is going to get revenge on Mark for what he’s done.

He just wanted to be with his friends.  He just wanted to help.  And this is where that got him.  What a terrible fate for someone who was so kind.  

  1. read classics - I know from experience its a slow but steady climb when it comes to reading classics, but it’s a worth while experience to put yourself in world that so different from the world now but mirrors it quite the same. Reading classical opens you mind to how simple but complex the human race is. It might seem like chore especially if your not a reader but you can start by just picking a classical that ficinated you the most  and listening to it on audiobook first. After a couple times of listening on audiobook you’ll get used to rhythm of the language and it’ll be easier to continue reading on your own. Also, pro tips- if you really wanna kick it up a notch, write a short review for every classic you read to help retain the info. 
  2. expand your genres-  Everyones knows there’s a lot to be learned from movies, tv show and music but for most of us, once we learn what kind of genres we like we tend to never branch out and this limits our learning. You don’t have to like every genre but exposing yourself to different styles of music and movies teaches you tolerance and after a while of forcing yourself to do this, you might find your pallet start to shift.  
  3. watch youtube videos- This is one of my favorite ways to not only be entertained but to get a general overview of a certain topic, usually if it sparks my interest i’ll do a little further research. Youtube channels such as ted-ed, asap science, scishow and today i found out do an amazing job of giving you a little bit of knowledge about everything.
  4. listen to people who have different opions than you- I know this one is particularly hard one for most people, but your going to learn the least from having repeptive conversations with people with the same ideas as you. People with different opinions than you will have an impact on how you live your life wether you like it or not; its not your job to accept their ways of thinking but to understand why they think the way they do- you never know, you might just find that the other persons opinion has some merit and might make you more knowlegable about a certain situation. A great way to do this is to watch interviews, read articles about the opposing side of your opinion.
  5. Accept that you’ll never know everything- This is an important one, you may be thinking, how does this have to do with educating myself? well, I added this one because I truly feel like you can’t educate yourself without acknowledging your ignorance. A person who thinks they know eveything has no room to learn. One of the most powerful ways to educate your self is to accept that you are never going to be finished learning, this opens you up and makes you more receptive to lessons we learn in life everyday. So in short, if you want to be more educated, just live! we’re all life long students and that’s okay.