do you see the wind on that ball too damn son

Best Damn Bachelor Party

Commiserating over the traditions of bachelorette and bachelor parties, Emma and Killian end up having their own celebration on the eve of their wedding. A little bachelorette/bachelor party one-shot on the eve of the Captain Swan Wedding! Thanks to @like-waves-on-the-beach for the last minute read through and writer support! Thanks to @lizzyc807shipscaptainswan for the writing challenge prompt and invitation to all to participate.

Rated M - If M is not your thing, read NO further

4.2K

ffnet   ao3


♥~K~♥

“A what?” Killian asked, looking as befuddled as he had when Henry had congratulated him on their Wookie prisoner gag.

“A bachelor party,” David and Henry repeated in unison.

The three most important men in Emma Swan’s life sat together at a corner booth in Granny’s discussing the plan of action for tonight.  It was the night before David would walk his baby girl down the aisle, the first rite of passage he would get to experience as Emma’s father. It was Henry’s last night before officially having a stepfather, and seeing his mother marry the love of her life. And it was Killian’s last night as a bachelor, although he didn’t quite see the importance of celebrating his single status.

“Why on earth would I celebrate being a bachelor? I’ve been a bachelor for lifetimes. I’ll be a married man tomorrow, now that is something to celebrate,” Killian exclaimed.

David’s heart swelled a little bit at the happiness that Killian exuded, knowing that this reformed pirate was going to be the absolute perfect husband for his daughter. “Well, that’s just it, a bachelor party is one last hurrah, one last celebration as a free and single man.”

“And as I said, what I truly wish to celebrate is marrying Emma. So why don’t we have an ‘I’m getting married’ party instead?”

“You want a wedding shower?” David smirked.

“Aye, I quite like the sound of that. Now, just what does a wedding shower entail?”

“Jesus Christ, Hook, it was a joke. Wedding showers are for women… for the bride to be, not the groom!” David explained, exasperation at his future son-in-law coloring his tone. The blushing groom, he thought.

“Oi, mate, no need for sarcasm,” Killian shot back. “I don’t know everything about your realm. If it is a bachelor party I must have, then so be it.”

“Alright!” Henry pumped his fist into the air. “So what’s the plan fellas?”

David’s eyes about bugged out of his head at his grandson’s assumption that he would be at the bachelor party. A celebration among men. “Whoa, Henry, I’m not so sure your mother would be on board with you being at a bachelor party.”

“Gramps, we live in Storybrooke, it’s not like there will be drugs and strippers.”

David was speechless as he tried to pick his jaw up off the floor. Why was Henry even saying the word stripper? How did he even know about strippers? And drugs? He’s growing up too quickly, David panicked, now he positively felt like a grandpa as the need to keep Henry young and innocent surged through him. When he looked at Killian, the grin he saw on the pirate’s face wasn’t what he was hoping to see. He narrowed his eyes at Hook, as the man made eye contact with him, eyes filled with mirth no less. “What are you teaching my grandson?” David asked accusingly.

“I’m a pirate, Dave, not a man whore,” Killian deadpanned. He didn’t hold it against David, it was easy to blame a pirate, especially in uncomfortable situations; like when your grandson mentions naked women. Killian tried to school his features as he was having a hard time not bursting into laughter over the prince’s outrage.

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Undoing

If you had to choose between faction loyalty and your family, which one would it be? Which one becomes your undoing?

Chapter 1

Originally posted by rihqnna


@tigpooh67 @pathybo @beautifulramblingbrains @jojuarez26 @bookwarm85 @carefultheyspit @scorpio2009 @iammarylastar @feminamortem @lets-play-truth-or-dare @deepfrz @jaiboomer11


                    He says, “Oh, baby girl, don’t get cut on my edges

                    I’m the king of everything and oh, my tongue is a weapon

                   There’s a light in the crack that’s separating your thighs
                   And if you wanna go to heaven you should fuck me tonight.”

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anonymous asked:

Could you do the same reincarnated as cat for Dabi and Hitsuo? The reader is the cat. The reader died protecting them. Scenario?

Some graphic descriptions of injuries so be careful. I love my eggplant son and body horror pyro. Yes, that’s what I call them.

~Shinsou Hitoshi~

“To-Toshi are-are you ok?”

“I’m fi-”, Shinsou freezed mid sentence.

You were laying on the ground, and there was a huge gash across your chest.

“What? No-this can’t be happening.”, he gasped.

“I-I’m just-just glad you’re okay.”, you smiled weakly.

You had just managed to push him out of the way. The villain had thrown some kind of a sickle at him, but you took the hit instead. You had managed to take down the villain, but the sickle had gone deep into your chest, and severed some major arteries. You would bleed to death in no time at all. Atleast it wouldn’t be too excruciating. You could see Shinsou hovering over you, trying to stop the bleeding, but you knew it was too late. You’d die here, but there was something more you had to do. You had to tell him.

“I love you Toshi.”, you whispered weakly.

“I love you too, don’t leave me. Please.”, he pleaded.

Your last breath escaped your lips and you were gone. Your face was left in a neutral expression. Not peaceful and not pained. Somehow it suited you.

“So the bitch died huh?”, Shinsou heard a voice say behind him.

He turned around and saw that the villain who had killed you was standing up again.

“Pity, she could have made me money, human trafficking is a good business ya know. I was gonna take you out but the bitch jumped on the way.”, the villain continued.

You had protected him. This was his fault, if he had been more observant, you wouldn’t have had to save him.

“Hey asshole.”, Shinsou growled.

“You talkin-”, the villain’s eyes went blank.

“Shut up.”, Shinsou growled.

He wanted to make this guy suffer. He wanted to make him carve open his own chest, like he had done to you, but he couldn’t. Even in the middle of all this heartbreak, pain and anger, he couldn’t. He wasn’t that kind of a person. He couldn’t be. It would dishonor your memory. So he just forced the villain to knock himself out.

Shinsou sat on a piece of wall that had crumbled in the midst of fighting. Then he lowered his head to his hands and sobbed quietly. He couldn’t bare to look at your battered body. He didn’t want to see what his failure had cost. His inability to observe his surroundings had been the reason to your end. He was the reason to your life ending. If he couldn’t even save you, maybe he shouldn’t be a hero after all. He shakdd his head. No, you would want him to keep chasing his dream. And he would, for you.

It had been about a month since your death. Shinsou was still pretty down, but he had gotten some comfort from a cat that had been following him around. It was a peculiar cat. Same eye and hair color as you. First he had thought the universe had wanted to punish him with constantly reminding him of his failure. How his mistake had cost your life. But over a little time he had grown to like the cat. It was always around and gave him comfort.

“I know you can’t talk, you’re a cat after all, but… Why do you keep following me around? It’s not like you have any reason to. I haven’t even given you food very often.”

The cat just tilted it’s head and looked at him questioningly. It had done that many times before. You had done it too back when you were alive too. The cat was a painfully sweet reminder of you. Someone he could never get back, and someone he could never forget.

“Damn you.”, he muttered at the cat.

He would keep chasing his dream of becoming a hero. That was how he could honor your memory, he knew that was the future you had hoped for him. Besides he already had his first sidekick. His sidekick was a cat, but it was a start.

~Dabi~

“I’ve gotta mission for the two of you.”, Shigaraki said, pointing at you and Dabi

“Can I go too?”, Toga rejoiced.

“No. I’ve got another job for you.”, Shigaraki growled.

“No fun.”, she pouted.

“So what are we gonna do?”, you asked.

“You’re going to take care of someone. Kill him and come back.”

“Standard job then.”

“He is pretty sly, so he might cause some trouble.”, Shigaraki added.

You and Dabi took off and he still hadn’t said a word. His hands were shoved deep into his pockets and he looked bored like usually. You didn’t mind the silence, so you just stayed quiet.

When you two got to the adress Shigaraki had given you, you were a bit confused. This was the an old hotel. It looked like it would crumble down any second. You were at the right place, or atleast the adress was the same as on the paper. This would be a good place to hide, no denying that.

“You sure this is the right place?”, he asked.

“Yep. Can you just burn down the building or something? If he doesn’t die from that, he’ll crawl out of his hiding place.”

Dabi shrugged and set the building on fire nonchalantly. You both just watched as the fire swallowed the building, but no one came out.

“That creep gave us the wrong address.”

“I guess he did.”, you sighted.

You were already turning your back to the smoldering building when you noticed movement on the corner of your eye. It was going straight for Dabi, who was yawning and paying zero attention. Before you even realized, you were standing in front of Dabi. Someone had just pushed their entire forearm through your chest. You could feel the blood dripping from your lips, and the guy’s hand twitching in your chest. Suddenly the hand was gone, and the only thing left of the man was a pile of ash. You fell to Dabi’s chest. He caught you and looked at you weirdly. You had no idea what he was feeling. Was it worry? Sadness? Anger? You really had no idea. Not that he was an easy person to read anyway.

“Why are you such an idiot?”, he asked.

“If you’re talking about the fact I just saved your ass. You know why.”, you smiled, with the blood staining your lips. “I have a request for you. Burn my body and throw the ashes to the wind. I want your fire to erase me.”

Before Dabi could say anything you were gone. The light in your eyes had dimmed out. Your lips were stained with the scarlet blood dribbing down your jaw. He didn’t cry, he didn’t feel sad. He just felt numb, but he wanted to give you what you had asked, so he burned your body. He didn’t like it, seeing your form consumed by his own flames. This fire was never meant to touch you, but now it would be the thing that erased you from this earth.

After you were completely gone, he took a handfull of the ash, and threw it up. The wind carried the ashes away. It carried the last of you away. He showed his hands to his pockets and walked back to the hideout.

“Where is [Name]?”, Toga asked when Dabi walked in alone.

Dabi just scoffed. He didn’t talk to anyone for the rest of the evening. He just sat on the couch and watched TV, but he didn’t really concentrate on it. He couldn’t. He could only think about you. How you had saved him and died in the prosess. Why did you even save him? You had said he should know the answer. But he didn’t want to accept what he was thinking. If he did, all of this would be even more painful. If you had loved him, this would be even worse.

Dabi got up from the couch and left the lair. He wondered the streets. He didn’t know where he was going. He was just walking around aimlessly. He incinereted a few punks who tried to pick a fight with him. He really wasn’t on the mood to put effort on anything.

He had walked around for a while, when he noticed something following him. It was a cat. A cat with the same eye color as you. It’s fur also resembled the color of your hair.

“Creep.”, he muttered.

The cat meowed at him.

Dabi was annoyed, so he just threw a ball of fire towards the cat. He missed on purpose, since he just wanted the cat to go away. The cat didn’t even flinch. It just kept glaring at Dabi.

“Creep.”

Dabi turned his back at the cat and walked away, but the cat followed him. Every time he looked back, the cat was still there. It was just padding silently behind him.

The Edge.

Characters: Dean, Reader, Sam, Jess, Ellen, Jo, Cas, Benny, Lisa, Garth, Charlie and Bobby.

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Warnings: Character death, descriptions of death, gory stuff, suicide, talks of a miscarriage and swearing. This is angst af. Sorry.

Summary: This is an AU. The world is ending, and the crew are the only people left, that they know off. It takes one bite from a flesh eater for a person to turn. The crew only have each other, a certain death tips the brothers over the edge and this leads to chaos and death.

A/N: This is for @chaos-and-the-calm67 (Bev)’s Milestone Challenge, Congrats! Your work is super awesome and you deserve every single follower! I chose the song ‘when the levee breaks’ by Led Zeppelin. You like let me know, because I love feedback sm. Have an awesome Tuesday!

Originally posted by justjensenanddean

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No Son Of Mine, Peter + Yondu, Chapter 1

Yondu Udonta is many things, but a good father ain’t one of them - despite his best efforts.

Peter Quill is many things too, several of which he denies. Of these, the one he denies most stridently is when his captain calls him ‘son’.

In which making the shift from 'heavily abused Kree slave’ to 'captain’ to 'father’ is a long and painful journey, for everyone involved.


CN: moderate child abuse, mentions of serious past child abuse


Yondu’s thought processes can be conveyed through simple flow diagrams. One thing leads to another, leads to another, leads to the next.

This isn’t to say he ain’t smart. In fact, if there’s one lesson he’s learned since Stakar slashed his name from the official Ogordian Archives and sent him and his crew out into the big bad galaxy, it’s that oftentimes it’s safer to pretend to be a helluva lot dumber than you are. But at the same time, Yondu’s a doer, not a thinker. No endless pontification or pouring over the outcome of an action; nosiree. He’d rather just do it, and deal with the shit that hits the fan only once the stinky brown gunk is airborn.

You want money? You steal money.

You want respect? You earn it.

You wanna be captain? You prise that golden flame off your predecessor, by force if you gotta.

For every problem there’s a solution, and where Yondu’s mind fails to summon one up, his experience always provides. Which is why when Peter refuses to stop crying five whole hours after Yondu yanks him away from his dead carrier and his granddad, Yondu does what had been done to him a thousand times as a child.

He slaps him.

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anonymous asked:

Genji, Hanzo, McCree, Lucio, Junkrat reactions to meeting their firstborn with female s/o? (That is if requests are still open!) (。・//ε//・。)

I wrote it in such a way where the firstborn child is a small kid like 5 or 7 years old and hasn’t met their dad yet~

Genji:

  • He is so excited and wants to embrace them but doesn’t know if he should (but darn he is really trying to control himself)
  • S/O is on her knees and gently encouraging their kid to say hi to Genji and explains that he is their dad.
  • The child is looking at Genji and is in utter awe cause their dad looks like some sort of robo-ninja and damn it’s a dream come true to them.
  • The child runs up to Genji and starts throwing all kinds of questions his way, complimenting how great their dad looks!
  • S/O and Genji almost burst into tears at this cute scene. Genji feels so loved and is happy that his child loves him just the way he is and S/O is happy to see the two of them getting along so well.

Hanzo:

  • Hanzo doesn’t have any knowledge of how to interact with kids and when he see’s his child for the first time, he is surprised and very polite but is keeping a somewhat distance appearance
  • At first, the kid is a bit intimidated by Hanzo but smiles cheerfully in his direction before running off and bring back art supplies and paper.
  • Without thinking the child pulls Hanzo over to the table and says, “I’m going to draw a picture for you!”
  • Hanzo is very quiet and watches carefully at the drawing. His heart flutters when he see’s them drawing a dragon.
  • S/O comes over to see this and smiles warmly at them, giving the child a kiss on the head while wrapping her arms around Hanzo’s shoulders, “They love dragons just like you do Hanzo.”
  • Hanzo almost breaks into tears but smiles at his child and picks up a pencil and starts to draw two dragons, telling the tale of the dragon of the north wind, and the dragon of the south wind.

McCree:

  • Before meeting with his firstborn, he wrote everything he was going to say. Even going as far as rehearsing the act over and over. he doesn’t want to mess things up and hopes that they will like him.
  • When he arrives home the first person to greet him at the door is his child, his precious daughter. Curiously she looks up unaware of who he is before running off calling to her mum, “Mum we got a cowboy here!”
  • McCree almost laughs at the comment before embracing his S/O in a tight hug.
  • S/O pulls away before lifting their daughter into her arms and introducing this cowboy to be her dad.
  • The little girl shyly asks if she could wear his hat. Without a second thought, McCree gives her head a gentle pat and places the hat on her head.
  • Immediately the child gets down o the floor and points an imaginary gun at McCree and shouts, “Freeze!” Following along, McCree engages his daughter in the role-play and pretends to follow her to “jail”
  • The two hit if off so well as S/O see’s McCree carrying their daughter over his head and running around the place, laughing in delight. It was as if McCree was always at home.

Lucio:

  • Lucio is bouncing with joy. He made sure to bring lots of presents with him and asked S/O what their favourite snacks were to give to their son.
  • He meets his S/O and son at the park. He can’t help but smile as S/O and the little boy as kicking the ball back and forth.
  • Noticing Lucio, his S/O stops for a moment and brings Lucio forward, making the introduction.
  • Almost immediately the child looks at Lucio in a questionable manner and says, “If you’re my real Dad you would be good at sports.” Challenge accepted kiddo
  • Lucio and his son have a friendly game of soccer with one another. He makes sure to take it easy and not go too rough on the kid. But he does show him some really sick soccer moves that make the kid freeze and watch wide-eyed in amazement. 
  • After winning the match by one point, Lucio’s son believes him to be his real Dad and rushes towards him to give a big old hug.
  • Lucio almost cries in tears of joy and picks up his son in a tight embrace and kissing his cheek over and over again.
  • S/O comes back with some delicious ice cream to celebrate the match and finally bringing the family together.

~Mod Rose

Son of a.... (Part 1)

Hello my lovelies!! Here is a little crack fic I wrote for a couple challenges!! Sorry I’ve been a bit inactive lately, I’ve been extremely fatigued!! But I promise, I have lots in the works!! Remember, feedback fuels writers! 😘

For Meg’s Birthday Challenge my prompt was the song “Still Into You” by Paramore. Happy happy birthday @wildfirewinchester, my darling!!

And for TaleTeller’s What If Challenge
I had the prompt “What if a witch’s spell turned Dean into a ferret?” Thanks for hosting @sdavid09!

Dean x reader, dating hunters

Warnings: my typical swearing and cannon violence

Word count: about 1800

—————————————————————-

“Dammit! She’s running for it,” Dean exclaimed, lowering his pistol before taking off at a sprint through the decrepit house with you hot on his heals.

“You missed??” you questioned incredulously, trying your hardest to keep up with your boyfriend as he disappeared behind a turn in the hall. He rarely missed a shot.

You were clotheslined by his muscular arm as you ran blindly around the corner, nearly knocking the wind out of you. He pulled you back next to him, flat against the wall before bringing a finger to his lips in a silent “shhhh”.

He signaled for you to stay put, leaving you as backup in case the witch got out past him.  He checked the bullets in his gun before quietly pushing open the single door in the hallway.

You watched him stalk confidently into the room and took the opportunity to double check your own handgun. Clip full of Witch killing bullets? Check.

As you cocked one into the chamber, you heard Dean’s voice reverberated out to the hall, “End of the line, bitch,” followed immediately by a gunshot.

“Son of a…” you heard him start before his words were cut off by violent coughing. The witch chanted in Latin before making a run for it, unknowingly, directly into your waiting bullets. You triple tapped the fleeing perpetrator just to be sure; two in the chest succeeded by a final headshot, for good measure.

You stepped over the body into the room Dean had yet to come out of only to cover your mouth in shock at the horror before you…

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Against The Ropes #3

Summary: Reader has her meeting with Gadreel about Crowley’s debt.
Characters: Dean Winchester, Bobby Singer, Female Reader, Gadreel, Benny Lafitte
Word Count: 1.6K
Warnings: Angst and language
Author’s Note: Co-written with @climbthatmooselikeatree AKA @mrs-moose-chester
Miss the beginning?
Tahmoh GIF found on Google. Yours? Let me know. GIF not mine (x)
WIFEY: @leviathanslovedick SQUAD: @rizlow1  @manawhaat  @aprofoundbondwithdean @balthazars-muse @spnfanficpond @mrswhozeewhatsis​  @catsoftheapocalypse  @padathatackles  @deansdirtylittlesecretsblog @busybee612  @jodyri  @beautiful-disaster143 @supernaturalgirl85  @oriona75  @crzcorgi   @eyes-of-a-disney-princess  @emmy-winchester  @sunriserose1023  @aggressivelywatchingnetflix  @maraisabellegrey @blacktithe7 @brooklyn-writes-flangst  @deascheck

Dean, wearing dark sweats and grey hoodie, took a long pull from his water, “Bobby, you seen Y/N this morning?”

The older man slung his jacket over the back of a chair, “Nah, you?”

Flexing his hands as some arthritic pain shot through them, Dean shook his head, “Not like her to just up and-”

“Son, she’s a grown ass woman that has more than one client.”

Of course he knew that, but something about how she was acting the night before made Dean’s stomach knot up. “I know, just-”

Bobby leaned back against the ring and crossed his arms, “Just what? She not there when you woke up this morning?”

“It’s more than that.”

“She not make you coffee?”

“Damn it, Bobby. Would you shut up and listen to me?”

Bobby raised an eyebrow, “Get in the damn ring.”

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Bad roommates? Zero sh*ts left to give.

(warning: long story)

I am so far f*cking past giving any f*cks about what my roommates think anymore. I consider myself a considerate guy and treat others how I like to be treated but in the case of my household right now, f*ck it.

I used to live with only a friend, his gf, and his sister. We’re renting a house TOGETHER, keyword there, my name is on the lease too. Lets call them Noballs, Myway, and Tara, respectively, because sh*t’s going to get a bit complicated.

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Gruesome Discover

Originally posted by horroroftruant

Pairing: Negan x Reader
Word count: 1,509
Warnings: Swearing, violence

Part 11 of Runaway


He had one last place to look- the back lot. If that’s where you were taken, there was a slim chance that you wouldn’t have fatal injuries. His stomach dropped as him and the others made their way in that direction, dread over what he had a feeling he would find.

Your corpse.


Negan made his way towards the last place you could be, his heart hammering in his chest. His men were nearly jogging to keep up. He burst through the tree line and his eyes went straight to you. There was a wooden pole maybe 10 feet in front of him, which you were tied to. Your hands were tied behind your back, you were kneeling, your head hung forward. He looked to the man on his left. “Find him.” He ordered. His man simply nodded and took off around the outside.

Slowly,  he moved forward. He could see blood now, and how your ankles were bound together and to the post. There was something forcing you to kneel, and your wrists were being rubbed raw from your body weight pulling on it.

Kneeling next to you, he held you up with one arm and cut the bindings with a knife. You groaned as you fell into him. The other men were scouting the area nearby, looking for Dwight, and anyone else who might have been involved. “Hank!” He called out, watching as one of them jog over. Negan motioned to Lucille. “You’re with me.” He stood, picking you up.

As he carried you, he made sure you were leaned into his chest. His jaw clenched as he controlled his breathing. He hadn’t even looked closely at you yet, he wanted to get you inside first.

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The Crown weighs heavy (Ch.13)

Pairing: NeganxReader

Rating: M

Chapters: 13/?

A/N: Lucky number 13! Thanks to those who commented, and read the last chapter. Please enjoy. Not sure when the next chapter will come, I am starting a new job soon and will probably be very busy.

That being said, let me establish a timeline for you all. This is currently taking place before Negan even knows of Rick’s group! They haven’t attacked the compound yet, but we shall get there eventually.

Master List

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Bad roommates? Zero shits left to give.

I am so far fucking past giving any fucks about what my roommates think anymore. I consider myself a considerate guy and treat others how I like to be treated but in the case of my household right now, fuck it.

I used to live with only a friend, his gf, and his sister. We’re renting a house TOGETHER, keyword there, my name is on the lease too. Lets call them Noballs, Myway, and Tara, respectively, because shit’s going to get a bit complicated.

Queue starting troubles 4 months ago, with no notice/mention/fart in the wind about a new roommate moving in, I notice the extra room’s office desk is replaced with a bed. I asked Noballs about it and his response was “Oh I forgot to tell you? Myway’s sister’s bf is in a pinch and needs a place for a month or two.” Forget the fact he “forgot” to tell me, he didn’t even consider it. Lets call Myway’s sister and her bf, Parentingskills and Niceguy. Whatever it’s a month, two at max of cheaper rent, sure, like I said I’m a considerate guy and probably taken advantage of that quality too often. fucks left to give: diminishing.

Something you should know, Parentingskills has a 2-3 year old child from another man, she’s in her early 20s. As you can imagine now that Niceguy is moved in she and the child are over all the time. And that 1-2 month deal? It’s been 4. Fast forward to the beginning of last month, Noballs and Myway leave for 3 weeks vacation and all I can think is finally some peace and quiet around the house. NOPE

THE day they left, Parentingskills and her son have not, inflatable bed for the kid in the room, toys EVERYWHERE, smashing, screaming, yelling, crying, this kid is driving me insane. I politely asked just about every single god damn night, please turn down his lullaby, hey can you keep it down, can you clean up some of the mess. You’d think after a week straight of asking the same things they would catch on, nah. Now I’m getting aggravated, I’m losing sleep, it’s affecting me at work and I’ve had enough. I lost it on them one night, I made my opinion and discomfort HEARD. Making the kid cry, Parentskills bitching at me, Niceguy saying nothing. Think this did much? For 2 nights I had peace.

Noballs and Myway have returned from their trip 2 weeks ago. The optimist I am, I thought with this at least Parentingskills and the demon child would be over less frequently. Nope, still haven’t left, still losing sleep. Fucks left to give: None.

Now with the fresh month I get a text for the shared utilities bill, it’s fucking $30 higher than usual (each!) and I’m living in the fucking zoo with 6 roommates HOW IN THE ACTUAL FUCK? Confront him about it, and you guessed it another “Oh sorry I forgot to tell you, we decided to get HD cable and a landline now.” He never brought it up, didn’t ask if I would like one in my room for my TV, I never even noticed the cable guys come set it up while he was on vacation, some friend he is.

By this point I’m done, I’m not paying for your stupid cable, and who the fuck gets a landline these days? I’m discreetly looking for a new place to live and I try to spend as much of my time at friends houses. But when I am home :D… This is my house too and you know what I like to do at my house? Freeballin! I’m comfortable with myself and everybody knows what a circumcised penis looks like, more importantly my roommates know what mine looks like. For the past 6 days, when I’m at home I am FREE, and oh boy doesn’t it feel good. Causing issues? You bet. Legal? I have no clue. I simply just DGAF anymore and since I’ve started, the kid and his mother haven’t been over, Noballs had some balls for once and threatened me, hahaha, “Oh I forgot to tell you? I’m a nudist now!” Myway isn’t getting her way, but I believe she tried tested my dedication to my nudie strike by having a few of her girlfriends over. You think I’m that easily intimidated honey? Think again, I’m single bitches! That was an interesting and hilarious night for both myself and them I’m sure. And Tara? She doesn’t seem to mind at all, haven’t heard anything from her. Niceguy is also finally looking to move out, he was the only person who I could see putting some effort into disciplining/keeping the kid quiet for me at night.

Until I find a new place, be careful cooking in the nude, and our whole house will have a story to tell for the rest of our lives.

Auld Lang Syne
otherwise known as a very FYD New Year’s.  Cheers!


             “I still think,” said Melkor, “that we should’ve gone to see the ball drop in person.”

             “Yeah, well this is the next best thing,” said Gothmog.  “Your screen’s so fuckin’ big it’s practically life-size anyway.”

             “That felt vaguely like an insult,” said Melkor, “and I just want you to know that it was a weak attempt.”

             “Hey,” said Gothmog, shrugging.  “I’m not going to criticize you for buying a ten million inch flat screen—especially not when you let me watch games on it like, once a week.”

             “I am a good and generous friend,” said Melkor. “But back to the subject at hand—”

             “Oh, quit whining,” said Thuringwethil.  “This is a much better setup.  It’s quiet, it’s warm, and I don’t have to deal with every drunk asshole on the planet running into me.”

             “This is true,” said Mairon.  

             “God,” Melkor complained, sighing theatrically. “When did you three get so boring?”

             “We’re practical,” said Mairon.  “Not boring.”

             “Same thing,” said Melkor.

             “Aw, come on,” said Gothmog.  “Thil’s right.  This is way better.  There’s food, there’s booze, there’s games…what more could you want?”

             “Atmosphere,” said Melkor stubbornly.

             Gothmog blew a noisemaker and popped a cracker.   “Better?” he asked, as glitter spiraled dizzily toward the floor.

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All About the Other Professor

Summary: Reader tells John the truth about Professor Shurley.
Characters: Professor John Winchester & Female Reader
Word Count: Mid-1400′s
Warnings:  Slight language, alcohol consumption, angst, fluff, talk of mental illness.
Author’s Note: Part 4 of my Professor John series. Any mistakes with medication / mental illness are mine and mine alone. John’s dog is modeled after JDM’s dog from this interview (x) GIF not mine (x)  @deansdirtylittlesecretsblog @hidingfrommychildren @balthazars-muse @mrs-squirrel-chester @aprofoundbondwithdean @mrswhozeewhatsis @iowarose

I II III

You slid off the motorcycle as soon as John killed the engine. After pulling off your helmet and hanging it on a handlebar, you sprinted into the college, quickly winding your way through the maze of halls to Chuck’s office. You and John rounded the last corner just as Chuck threw a punch at Dick Roman.  

“You lying son of a bitch!” The voice that roared out of Chuck didn’t even sound like him, and it drove shivers down your spine.

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Fair Enough (Fenhanders)

It’s fair season so I wrote a little something to celebrate. Dedicated to @depigmenting for encouraging me to write my first Fenhanders!

Summary: Hawke tries to win Anders a prize at the fair, but he’s terrible at games. Fenris isn’t.

Fandom: Dragon Age II
Pairing: Anders/Fenris/Hawke (Fenhanders)
Rating: G
Words: 1301


“Hawke. Hawke, stop, look over there.”

Hawke stopped in his tracks and looked to where Anders was pointing. Despite all the colorful stalls and flashing lights, it was easy to spot the object that had caught Anders’ eye.

There, hanging amid a host of brightly colored plush animals, was a huge stuffed pink cat.

“Hawke please, you have to get it for me,” Anders begged, clutching Hawke’s sleeve and tugging excitedly. “Please, please, I have to have it. Just look at it!”

“It is rather adorable I suppose,” Hawke said, smiling as he turned to kiss his boyfriend on the nose. “Not as cute as you, though.”

Anders giggled softly.

“So you’ll get it for me?”

“Of course.”

Hawke gauged his chances at success as they approached the stall. It was one of those games requiring the player to throw a ball and break one of several beer bottles lined up against the wall. Seemed easy enough.

“Ah, care to try a game, sir?” the vendor called as he noticed them coming his way. “Just five dollars for three balls. Come on, you look like a strong fellow!”

Hawke smirked, puffing out his chest and putting a little extra tension in the muscles of his arms as he reached in his pocket for a five. A chance to show off in front of Anders always delighted him. Already his beloved was practically swooning at the sight of him winding back his arm, gathering all his might to put into the first pitch.

Flump.

The ball hit the back of the tent and fell to the ground. Wow. He hadn’t even come close to hitting a bottle…

“Hawke, please,” Anders whimpered behind him.

“That’s all right, two more throws!” the vendor said. “Just one bottle for a prize!”

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Bad Ideas Make Good Stories

Summary: You had just been hunting with the Winchesters for a few months. Sam ditches you and you end up on a hunt, alone with Dean.

Characters: Dean, Sam, Reader

Word Count: 4000

A/N: This is my prompt for @shortandlongstories and my promptcember challenge. The prompt was…

“Technically it wasn’t on fire.” He said

“Of course it wasn’t on fire! You completely blew it up!”

Everything in italics is present. Flashbacks are in plain text. Thank you guys so much again for reading. As always, any feedback would be wonderful. Please like and reblog!

If any one has any requests, please send them my way. I would like to start another series or just some more drabbles would be cool too.

Warnings: Language? Explosions?…I think that’s it

“So…Let me tell you about what a dumbass your brother is…” Sam was sitting across from you at a high table in a bar. Dean was up getting another round. You two had just gotten back from your hunt, Sam had been on another. A quicky spirit, in and out.

“Hey, hey, hey…I prefer functional idiot.” Dean joked as he set your beer in front of you. You chuckle, “I thought I was being pretty generous with dumbass.”

“C'mon Y/N…It wasn’t that bad.”

You scoff, choking on the beer you had just sipped,  "Wasn’t that bad? You burnt the place to the ground!“

"I didn’t burn it to the ground.” Dean mumbled, Sam was confused, looking between you two.

“There was nothing left!”

Sam threw up his hands, gesturing for you and Dean to take it down a notch, “Whoa… whoa…Y/N. Start at the beginning.”

So, you jumped into the story of the last three days….

You were on this hunt with Dean. Sam had insisted that you two take this one, and you were kinda pissed at him. You had been hunting with the Winchesters for a few months, long enough to be past awkward small talk, but not long enough that you were totally comfortable one on one. Especially with Dean, sometimes you couldn’t tell if he was joking around or not. Plus he flirted constantly. It was like the damn button got stuck in the on position. Usually Sam would save you right about the time when you started blushing furiously, unable to come up with a smart ass remark, telling Dean to knock it off. Which right about now, you would have appreciated. The guy who checked you two into the motel, of course, assumed you were a couple. So Dean was running with it while you unloaded the car.

“Just can’t keep your hands off me, can ya?” You had just brushed against him while grabbing some of the books from the trunk.

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Blue Bloods #7

Summary: With Cole acting as protective duty to John, he takes the next step in his plan.
Characters: John Winchester, Female Reader, Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester, Bobby Singer, Cassie Robinson, Lilith, & Cole Trenton.
Word Count: 1,691
Warnings: Language, suspense.
Author’s Note: The feedback is amazing. Thank you so much!
Miss the beginning?


3 MONTHS AGO

“Commissioner!” The overzealous group of reporters hardly waited for John to finish his scripted statement before trying to gain his attention. John pointed to someone towards the front, not really paying attention to who it was.

“What about Ben Braeden, Commissioner?” It was Cassie Robinson with the Lawrence Journal.

Since he didn’t need to read any further, John pulled off his black-rimmed glasses and stuffed them into his pocket. “Ben Braeden is no longer considered a suspect.”

“Are there any other suspects at this time,” Cassie shouted her question, making sure her voice wasn’t lost among the masses.

“We are going over everything with a fine-toothed comb.”

Again, Cassie shouted, “You don’t sound very confident, Commissioner. How are the residents of Lawrence supposed to go about their daily routines?”

“I assure you, LPD is doing everything in their power to find the person responsible.”

It was Lilith’s turn to speak up. She also worked at the Journal, but her methods were different than her co-workers. “Is it true that there was a threat called into your office yesterday?”

Before answering, John arched a brow and swallowed thickly. “Thank you all for coming.” Questions and requests for a quote were shouted out, following John as he disappeared into the building.

You greeted him with a smile and a soft kiss. “You look upset. What happened?”

“Someone asked about the threat. Who have you guys told?”

Sam shook his head, “Just Charlie, told her to keep an eye out for anything out of the ordinary.”

Dean shrugged a shoulder under the intense gaze of his father. “Benny and Cole, that’s it.”

Blowing out a breath, you looked up at your husband. “We might have to prepare ourselves.”

“For what, ma?” Dean looked at you with confusion darkening his eyes.

It pained you to say it, the last thing anyone expected was a dirty cop. “Looking into one of our own.”

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Redeemed Kylo Ren Headcanons

I might do more of these? These ones started kinda sad, got really cute. Omg I love them so much. I have so many feelings about this.

  • Ren doesn’t leave the First Order until well after he finishes his training with Snoke. He realizes immediately after the battle of Starkiller that killing Han made him weaker, and he’s ready to devote himself fully to his Master’s training. As time progresses however, Han Solo’s parting words have planted the seed of doubt and he starts observing his Master’s actions in a more critical light. Ren leaves when he realizes that Snoke doesn’t want him to reach Vader’s legacy, but rather the creature intends to mold him into the perfect host.
  • He’s fighting against Rey when he feels Snoke scratching at the back of his head, trying to take over to kill his cousin and he realizes that he can’t do it. He can’t let Snoke have him, because he can’t let Rey die. So he deactivates his saber and tosses it away, hands lifted in surrender as he turns himself over to her. Rey immediately suspects it’s a trick, but the part of her that has her memories back, the part of her that always loved Ben, wants to believe it’s real. 
  • Rey knows that she can’t take him to Luke for practical reasons as well as personal. Luke doesn’t want to see Ren, Luke doesn’t trust Ren, is still so bitter and wounded by his nephew’s betrayal. More than that, on the off chance that this is a ploy she doesn’t want to lead Ren and the First Order directly to her father. So she takes him to the Resistance. She brings him home to his mother feeling like she’s somehow finishing Han Solo’s last mission.
  • The base is in an uproar when they catch wind of Rey’s prisoner and Leia is caught between managing everything to hold a Force-Sensitive individual captive and fretting over how she’s going to react to seeing her son. She wants to believe that the light in him has returned, wants to believe that she’s going to be able to… well, there’s no fixing the mistakes of the past, but maybe they can move forward. When Rey does land with Ren–who is a ball of anxiety about seeing his mother–he’s both relieved and hurt to find that she’s off planet.
  • Specifications were sent, and Ren is being kept in a Force dampened cell isolated from the majority of the base, kept underground and referred to as the Bunker. He insists upon it, insists that until he knows for certain that Snoke doesn’t have him, can’t control him, they keep him under constant guard.
  • There’s debate about what they should do with Ren. On the one hand, he’s a murderer, a high ranking member of the First Order who has committed countless war crimes. On the other, he’s perhaps the best chance they’ve got at figuring out how to defeat their enemy. And he’s a Force-User; there are so few of those left that regardless of whether he embraces the Dark Side or the Light, they’re too practical to get rid of that tool.
  • When Leia finally does go and see her son, yeah she’s at a loss for words and so is he. The only thing she can think to comment on is his height. “You’ve gotten so tall.”
  • They spend hours, days, weeks, talking as she tries to determine whether or not he truly is a lost cause. There are arguments, shouted words that got so loud the guards had to come rushing in to make sure the General was safe, but at the end of it all… her son wanted to atone for what he’d done. More than that, he wanted Snoke dead and was willing to do whatever he had to to see that it came to pass.
  • They give him a probationary period, six months to determine whether or not they would execute him. In that time he was kept out of any combat roles, confined to the base, and those that were in a position to do so used it as a free pass to get a little petty revenge.
  • Rey has appointed herself as his guardian, and by association that included Finn–who was incredibly wary of anything to do with Kylo Ren–and Poe, who had his reservations. But Ben had been his best friend, and in spite of everything that had gone sour between them Poe doesn’t want to see the guy down in the mud. It’s not who he is as a person; if Ren is sincere about bettering himself, then they should be helping him.
  • Jess is the next person outside of the New Trio to befriend Ren. And that’s more from the fact that she can’t stand to see him being kicked around like a vornskr with it’s teeth and claws removed. So of course when Poe is off on some hot-shot mission that she would be able to handle much more impressively, thank you very much, and Rey and Finn are doing Jedi stuff, she appoints herself his new best friend. Which, of course, turns out to be much easier to do the more she gets to know him because wow he’s snarky, and damn he happens to know how to fix shit too. What the kriff, Ren? You’ve been holding out???
  • Ren spends more time in the tarmac helping Jess, which of course brings the rest of the pilots around because they realize that, yeah he’s got that whole ‘Force-mystic thing’ going for him, and he’s a little awkward and not used to talking to people, but he’s actually pretty cool.
  • He’s surprisingly helpful when it comes to management of the Resistance, and can often be seen in conversation with the General discussing tactics and similar ideas. They argue a lot–nobody’s really surprised–and there are deep philosphical differences between the two of them, but once Ren started actively trying to help, they’ve seen an improvement in the way their battles are handled.
  • The babies.
  • Okay, so the kids at the Base are frightened of Ren at first. They see him stalking around in all black, arguing with the General, being surly and gruff and they hide from him. He’s vaguely aware of them existing at the base, because there’s nowhere else for them to live, but he usually doesn’t pay them any mind…
  • Until he happens to be moving around the old ruins looking to meditate, or gather his thoughts, or just… whatever, get away from everything. And Ren happens to see some dirty, scruffy looking kid no older than ten with scrapes on their hands and knees and stained up clothes climbing up onto some monolithic structure that looks like it could crumble at any minute and he just… that’s how you fall and break your arm.
  • Naturally he insists that the kid gets down from there, and the child doesn’t listen in the slightest–even goes as far as to call him bantha poop–which prompts Ren to use the Force to (ever so carefully, traumatized as he is from the last time a kid was climbing somewhere they shouldn’t be) lower the kid to the ground. At which point he takes them back to the base and demands to know where their parents are.
  • Leia takes him aside and explains, gently as she can, that the kid’s parents are both gone. Permanently gone, which has been known to happen from time to time considering they’re still in active war. That they try to keep someone looking after the younger ones, but they’re undermanned and can only do so much to keep an eye on the young ones.
  • Ren is horrified, and tries to subtly make sure that they’re taken care of. He plays it off as boredom; as of yet he hasn’t been cleared for combat and he needs something to do with his time.
  • Whereas word has gotten around among the kids that Ren isn’t actually that scary, and he lifted someone with the Force and their fear turns to curiosity. He starts noticing little eyes peering at him during his day to day, but they always disappear and he just ??? kids are weird.
  • Until they start swarming him, because he’s tall and doesn’t pay attention, and they can usually climb up onto his back when he’s reading without him even noticing their weight. Or when he’s meditating. And the kids realize that Ren is actually super fun, if they ignore his gruff personality. Also his room is a mess so it’s fun to play hide and seek in, so long as nobody touches the weird metal thing that he keeps locked up out of reach.
  • Plus Ren loves chocolate milk and chocolate milk is great, so…
  • Ren tries to get them to leave him alone, but he honestly really likes looking after the kids? The parents are skeptical at first, but the longer it goes on the more they realize that the kids love him and he loves them? Ren just becomes the unofficial den mother of the Resistance. Which means he’ll get to his quarters and find rocks, and flowers, and little baubles in his pockets throughout the day. He’ll realize someone braided flowers in his hair, or that there’s a smudge of paint or food or something on his face or hands.
  • I just have a lot of feels about den mother Ren.
Canyons:

The series is as follows :

Mama Scully’s Party …. MorningUnderwearsMapsNachosFoul BallPromisesStayPhone CallsFlannel InterruptionAwakeningFriendly CompromisesScrabbleApart …  A Long WeekLightningMissing YouInterimStuffWaitingGoingHandsUnsteadyFearFastSlowRegardlessInto the DarkLightSurfboardsCurbsShowersBordersCanyonsSoakedIce CreamNever HappenedDeep SouthAlmostBlue-Suede ShoesUnwelcomeRemarkableStarsDoorbellsM&MsKneesHome

___________

“That is one big hole.”

“That is one very big hole, indeed.”

“I had no idea it was that big of a hole.”

“It’s a hole that can be seen from space, Mulder.”

“Then it’s an even bigger hole than I realized.”

By now, she was shaking her head, the smile she wore belaying her embarrassment at how many times they’d just said ‘hole’ in their conversation and how loudly Mulder was saying it, taking glee each time it rolled off his tongue, tossing his occasional 13-year-old boy mentality out there for the world to hear.

His crutches were comfortably settled under his arms, his leg held up from the ground, cast dirty on the bottom from sand and mud splashes. He was wearing his red Lucky Charms t-shirt and his green sunglasses, his face tan, his mouth relaxed.

Given there was a really good chance that nobody they knew was within a 50-mile radius, let alone close enough to see her next action, she encroached his personal space and kissed his cheek, “thanks for being stubborn about continuing vacation. A lot of people would have demanded to go home but you decided to go with a climb down the Grand Canyon and my opinion be damned.”

“Occasionally, one needs to do things like this. Build some character and really big bruises in their armpits.” Leaning over, he returned her kiss to her forehead, “one of these day, though, I’m going to go off the deep end and probably make out with you in public. Just warning you now.”

This, is all honesty, did not shock her as much as it should have.

“You may receive a left hook to the chin. Just warning you.”

With a grin that put the sun to shame, “ready to go climb down a canyon?”

&&&&&&&&

So, for shits and giggles, the pair went to see just how long a hike down would take. After the ranger got a look at Mulder’s cast, he laughed. Seriously laughed. Belly-jiggling ‘you be damned crazy’ laughing to the nth degree of amusement.

“Son, just stay at the top and take pictures. If you really want to, you can let your wife go down there and have her take the pictures and you can pretend you went with her but if you tried to do it with those,” indicating the crutches with his gnarled, wind-burned hands, “you’d fall off the trail in about 45 seconds, give or take.”

Mulder gave him his best confused stare, “so you mean, I can’t even try?”

“You try, you die, son.”

“But my mother always said ‘if at first you don’t succeed, try, try again’.”

Scully cracked much quicker than she normally would have and snorted, vainly attempting to hide it behind a cough but failing, the ranger looking from her to Mulder, trying to decide if he should get pissed at them for wasting his time or join the joke.

Given he was a fairly happy guy, he relaxed, “damn tourists are going to drive me insane.”

“Ignore him. He enjoys messing with people sometimes.”

Mulder held out his hand, “sorry. Bad sense of humor at times. Fox Mulder and this is Dana Scully.”

He shook both their hands, “how’d you break the leg?”

Twenty minutes later, they parted ways, “I liked him.”

“I did, too. I’ve forgotten that not everyone in the world is either a murderer, a liar, a cheat or a complete asshole.”

Agreeing with a nod, she tapped his hand through his crutches, “let’s go look at the big hole some more.”

&&&&&&&&&&&

Mulder, as per instructions from Maggie, who had lent him her pocket camera, had been burning through film right and left, taking pictures of their entire trip, posed shots regular but candids abounding, and today was no exception. Digging into the side pocket of the backpack he now carried with him, he pulled the camera out, then boldly asked an older couple if they’d mind taking a picture of the pair of them.

Scully was used to the camera at this point, but this would be the first picture of the two of them together, not counting the badly angled ones she imagined they’d taken with Mulder turning the camera around and hoping he at least got their heads in the shot. This picture had them standing as an actual, honest-to-God, dyed in wool couple and she couldn’t think of what in the hell to do with her hands.

Awkward feelings bubbled up involving prom dates and first dates and blind dates and she still had no idea where to put her hands.

This wasn’t, however, some 16-year-old nightmare reborn but Mulder and all he had to say was, “get your ass closer, would you? I’m not going to bite unless you want me to.”

Of course, this demand was whispered and of course, it set her to giggling, then laughing, while the couple, amused as well, snapped a good six pictures before they surrendered the camera back to Mulder, the man commenting, “son, those will need to hang on the living room wall.”

“Oh, they will. Believe me.”

Once alone again and Scully could take in a deep breath without paroxysms of laughter taking over, “we don’t have a living room wall.”

“Never say never, Scully. Haven’t you learned that by now?”

And the world got serious.

Instantly and intensely.

Only she didn’t let Mulder know that as she leaned back on the wall lining the top edge of the canyon, “so, need some food yet?”

Mulder’s world got serious as well.

Instantly and intensely.

Only he didn’t let her know that as he fingered the edge of the camera still in his hand, “stay still for a minute, would you?”

“What?”

“Just. Stay there.” There was something about the sun setting the canyon on fire and her hair joining in, the colors deep and vibrant against the azure blue sky. He mentally crossed his fingers that the film would catch at least 1/10th of her stunning beauty, the canyon backdrop only a bonus at this point. When he was finally satisfied he’d gotten his shot, he swung forward to her, inches from her face, where he planted a firm, closed mouth kiss on her lips, “that’s another one for the living room.” Then he backed up, maneuvering in the direction of a hot dog vendor, “come on. I’m hungry.”

She wasn’t sure whether she should have kissed him back or killed him so she followed, ordering a hot dog with extra relish and a pickle on the side.