(loosely based on conversations I’ve had/overheard)
“If you don’t start singing along to High School Musical with me in under 30 seconds you will no longer be my best friend"
"I swear on my chicken nuggets-”
“Yes I made that joke up by my self - no it’s not from Spongebob Squarepants how dARE YOU-”
“Speaking of Spongebob can we just take a few moments to discuss how much of a masterpiece that first movie was please”
“Ah yes, it’s 3 in the morning, time to get emotional and tell all my friends how much I love them”
“You made me chocolate??? Oh my God I love you so much thank you I’ll have some right no - THIS HAS RAISINS IN IT YOU TRICKED ME”
“Oh my God yeah I saw that movie, my favourite part was when - oh shit wait there’s this adorable kitten video I meant to show you last week and I completely forgot let me get it up on my phone”
“Sorry I’m late I was up all night watching those videos where kids get surprised with puppies”
“Are you awake? Great, let’s start planning our future homes together, I have a pinterest board ready”
“This is my favourite photo album! It’s full of photos of all the cats and dogs I’ve made friends with on my walks, I’ve even given them all names”
(crying) “Stop calling me emotional God damn it”
"Of course I remember you said you liked the colour red, you told me at like 1:35 am last year in May"
“What? Simplifying equations? No, I can’t help with that but I do know all the words to every Simpsons episode in the first 5 seasons if that helps"
“Sorry I really can’t go out today. No I’m fine, I’m just stressed I’m doing something important. I’m trying to memorise all the words to this documentary about frogs - What? Yes of course it’s important!”
“I discovered and fully analysed that meme 3 weeks ago, step up your game”
“What do you mean why do I have a folder full of strategic plans on how to succeed at animal crossing, that’s not weird?”
“Sir, I don’t mean to be rude but I’ve been doing my own research and you’re getting all of this wrong. Well yes I know I’m not the teacher here but - Yes, actually, I’d love to teach the class my self I’ve already made a lesson plan, thank you”
“No, I won’t come and see Jurassic World with you. Because it’s completely unrealistic! Do you have any idea what dinosaurs are actually supposed to have sounded and looked like? Even adult velociraptors weren’t meant to be that b - OK you know what, I will come, but I’ll be pointing out every single problem to you. No, it’s too late, you already invited me. I’m buying our tickets right now, don’t move”
“You really think you can beat me at Mario Kart? I have spent YEARS studying this game and honing my skills, spending hours upon hours training until my hands cramp and even my tv is judging the amount of time I’ve spent playing and you think YOU can beat me? Let’s fucking go”
“I think these guys think I want to murder them because I followed them home but it’s only because I overheard them talking about what would happen if Pokemon is real and I wanted to see how good their logic was”
“Shut up? Shut up? I haven’t shut up for 17 years and I’m not about to start now”
(crying) "I just want Shakespeare’s ghost to be proud of me”
“I’d love to have a sleepover but it can only be when there’s a thunderstorm so we can dance in the rain, let me check the weather forecast”
“Did that bee just try and sting you? COME BACK HERE BEE YOU COWARD I’M GONNA FUCK YOU UP - wait shit no run”
"What did you say? Don’t touch it? Alright.” (touches it as soon as the person turns away) “Sucker”
“Whaaat? Someone wrote on the desk? No it wasn’t me I would never do th - My name was there? Well, I’m not the only one in the world with my na - My surname was there too? What are the chances?!”
“Help me I started saying lmao ironically and I can’t stop”
“Before you say anything it wasn’t me - unless it was something awesome then I definitely planned the whole thing”
“Excuse me? They said what to you? … I have to go for a second, I just remembered something completely unrelated. No, no, I’m not taking this fork with me for any particular reason”
“Um, did you just tell me it’s impossible to sing along to a guitar solo? Stand back. Your mind is about to get blown”
“I am so not drunk! I’m completely drunk! … Wait shit I meant sober”
“I’M SO PROUD OF YOU AAAH LET ME HUG YOU! I’M NOT LETTING GO FOR THE NEXT 3 HOURS, GET COMFORTABLE BITCH”
“I bet I can stay up for longer than you - what no I’m not tired shut up - nO THAT WASN’T A YAWN I WAS JUST SHOWING YOU WHAT IT WOULD LOOK LIKE IF I WAS TIRED - SEE I DID IT AGAIN TOTALLY ON PURPO - ok fuck you I’m going to sleep”
“Oh my God, just tell me what you did already so I can start complaining”
“Sorry, I didn’t catch that. Did you say STOP saying fuck, or KEEP ON saying fuck?”
“Over your dead body? I was hoping you’d say that”
“If you even LOOK at them one more time I will take a stick as big as your ego and stick it right up your-”
“Don’t come near me or - OK fine, we can snuggle for exactly 15 minutes. I’m setting a timer now”
“Hey, I saw you posted a picture of us on instagram yesterday where my eyeliner isn’t completely straight? You’re gonna have to delete that, if anyone thinks my eyeliner isn’t drop dead perfect every day and that I’m not a literal make up goddess I’ll lose my reputation as the Regina George of the school”
“But keep the one where I’m wearing no make up so that all those bitches know I still kill it without trying”
“Oh come on, you know I’d never do anything to embarrass you! Speaking of which, that video I posted on youtube the other day of you falling down the flight of escalators in the shopping centre has reached over 1000 views”
“My dad told me tattoos were trashy so I got a giant tattoo saying ‘trashy’ on my back I’ll send you his reaction later”
“I’m not a sentimental person but if you touch my teddy bear I will turn you into a stuffed trophy to put next to him”
“What do you mean I look smug this is my normal face”
1. “A wedding?”
2. “After everything you did, you’re asking ME to apologize for snapping at you ONCE?”
3. “Am I supposed to be scared of you?”
4. “Are you drunk?”
5. “Are you hitting on her for me?”
6. “Are you kidding me? We’re not ‘fine’!”
7. “Are you okay?” “Why do you ask?” “You’re wearing two different shoes.”
8. “Are you really taking his side against me?”
9. “At what point did you think that was a good idea?”
10. “Babe, you have a problem, please, let me help you.”
11. “Be my wife.”
12. “Before I do this, I need you to know that I have always loved you.”
13. “BOOM! That oughta show you not to mess with me!”
14. “But the carnival is right down the street! Can we please, please go!?”
15. “Can I kiss you?”
16. “Come back to bed.”
17. “Come on, let’s throw the dice, see what happens.”
18. “Come over here and make me.”
19. “Come with me.”
20. “Could you be happy here with me?”
21. “Crocs? Who hurt you so much in this life?”
22. “Damn. You clean up good.”
23. “Delete that immediately.”
24. “Did I just say that out loud?”
25. “Did I stutter?”
26. “Did you enjoy yourself last night?”
27. “Did you hear that?”
28. “Do you…well…I mean…I could give you a massage?”
29. “Do you ever stop eating?”
30. “Do you ever think if people heard our conversations they’d lock us up?”
31. “Do you ever think we should just stop this?”
32. Do you like me? Check yes or no.
33. “Do you need me to get anything from the store?”
34. “Do you think it’s possible that I…might be… pregnant?”
35. “Do you think she could have loved me?”
36. “Does he know about the baby?”
37. “Don’t fucking touch me!”
38. “Don’t say that. Not now.”
39. “Don’t say you love me.”
40. “Don’t you dare throw that snowba-, goddammit!”
41. “Don’t you ever do that again!”
42. “Either ask her out or I will do it for you!”
43. “Excuse me, I’m terribly lost. Can you help me?”
44. “Everyone deserves a second chance.”
45. “Everyone keeps telling me you’re the bad guy.”
46. “For some reason I’m attracted to you.”
47. “Frankly, I couldn’t care less.”
48. “Fuck…I feel I’ve been hit by a car.”
49. “Game’s over you son of a bitch! Tell me where she is!”
50. “Give me 5 bucks, I’ll explain later.”
51. “Go on then, tell me. Tell me you don’t love me.”
52. “Go then, leave! See if I care!”
53. “Guess who’s going to be a father?”
54. “H-How long have you been standing there?”
55. “Have I entered an alternate universe or did you really just crack a smile for me?”
56. “Have I ever lied to you?”
57. “Have you ever wanted to hate someone?”
58. “Have you lost your damn mind!?”
59. “He’s missing, not dead.”
60. “Hey! I was gonna eat that!”
61. “Hey, have you seen the..? Oh.”
62. “Hey, I’m with you, okay? Always.”
63. “His ego is so visible, I can almost watch it grow.”
64. “Hold me back!”
65. “Hold my hand dammit, we gotta make this look convincing!”
66. “How about we put the gun down and let’s talk about this?”
67. “How could anyone be that cruel?”
68. “How dare you!?”
69. “How long has it been?”
70. “I almost lost you.”
71. “I am not losing you again!”
72. “I beat you at Mario Kart and now you’re banishing me to the couch for the night?”
73. “I came here to explain what happened, and I’m not leaving until you listen.”
74. “I came home to a Nerf gun on the front porch and a note that says ‘Here is your weapon. I have one too. Loser cooks dinner. Good luck. xo’”
75. “I can manage on my own.”
76. “I can’t… I can’t lose you.”
77. “I can’t believe you talked me into this.”
78. “I can’t explain right now, but I need you to trust me.”
79. “I can’t get you out of my head.”
80. “I can’t let you do that.”
81. “I can’t start over again.”
82. “I can’t stop thinking about you.”
83. “I can’t swim!”
84. “I choose you.”
85. “I could never leave you, I love you too much!”
86. “I did a pregnancy test.”
87. “I didn’t ask for any of this!”
88. “I didn’t know you could cook.” “Oh, trust me I can’t.”
89. “I didn’t know you could sing.”
90. “I didn’t know you were so competitive.”
91. “I didn’t realize I needed your permission.”
92. “I didn’t think it was even possible for you to be so intelligent.”
93. “I don’t care what he said, it doesn’t mean jack squat.”
94. “I don’t know what I did to deserve you.”
95. “I don’t know why I’m crying.”
96. “I don’t snore, do I?” “Like a chainsaw.”
97. “I don’t want to have a baby.”
98. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
99. “I don’t want to let you down.”
100. “I got you a present.”
101. “I guess I was wrong about you. You’re not so bad after all.”
102. “I had a nightmare about you and just wanted to make sure you’re okay.”
103. “I had to see you again.”
104. “I hate you!” “No you don’t.”
105. “I hope one day you’re as happy as you’re pretending to be.”
106. “I just need you to do this one thing for me.”
107. “I just really need to have you here right now.”
108. “I just want this.”
109. “I just want to be alone right now.”
110. “I just wanted you to know that when I picture myself happy… it’s with you.”
111. “I know, but… I love him. You can’t give up on a person you love.”
112. "I know, but he’s your partner for this.”
113. “I know that you have reached a decision, but given that it is a stupid ass decision I have elected to ignore it”
114. “I love you.” “I know.”
115. “I love you. I’ve loved you since the moment I first laid eyes on you and – Oh, screw it!”
116. “I love you a lot, but please stop trying to cook me dinner, you suck.”
117. “I love you for you, don’t you dare think otherwise!”
118. “I love you more than anything in this world… which is why you have to stay here.”
119. “I love you, you asshole.”
120. “I made a mistake.”
121. “I may be an idiot but I’m your idiot.”
122. “I may despise you with the burning white hot intensity of a thousand suns, but that doesn’t mean I don’t love you.”
123. “I may have… ripped my pants.”
124. “I miss her so damn much, and it’s killing me that she’s gone!”
125. “I need you to forgive me.”
126. “I never believed in soulmates until I met you.”
127. “I never learned how to whistle.”
128. “I never meant for anyone to get hurt!”
129. “I saw you staring at each other, I just wasn’t sure if it was sexual tension or murderous rage.”
130. "I see the way you look at me when you think I’m not looking.”
131. “I swear if you weren’t so attractive, I’d have punched you in the face nine times by now.”
132. “I swear it was an accident.”
133. “I swear it was like that when I found it!”
134. “I think I picked up your coffee by mistake.”
135. "I think I’m in love with you and that scares me to death.”
136. “I think we need to talk.”
137. “I think we should have another.”
138. “I think you’re just afraid to be happy.”
139. “I thought you were a dream come true.”
140. “I thought you were dead…”
141. “I trusted you!”
142. “I waited and waited, but you never came back.”
143. “I want my best friend back.”
144. “I want to go back to before….”
145. “I wasn’t going to wait around for you forever.”
146. “I wasn’t planning on asking you, but I’ve come to realize that life is short. Will you marry me?”
147. “I wish I could hate you.”
148. “I won’t give up if you won’t.”
149. “I won’t let you fall.”
150. “I-I can’t trust you anymore.”
151. “I’ll be right over.”
152. “I’ll sleep under the sheets, you sleep on top of them.”
153. "I’m flirting with you.”
154. “I’m freezing!”
155. “I’m laughing because you’re angry. I swear I didn’t do it!”
156. “I’m like 20% sure this plan will work. The other 80% means we could die horribly and violently, but honestly it’s a really solid plan.”
157. “I’m not good enough for you.”
158. “I’m not happy here.”
159. “I’m not surprised that you murdered him.”
160. “I’m not the only one who thinks that.”
161. “I’m only human!”
162. “I’m pregnant.”
163. “I’m sick of being USELESS.”
164. “I’m so happy you’re alive.”
165. “I’m so sorry! I will never doubt you again!”
166. “I’m so stupid to make the mistake of falling in love with my best friend.”
167. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”
168. “I’m sorry, but I can’t trust you anymore.”
169. “I’m sorry if this upsets you, but I’m going to marry her.”
170. “I’m sorry, run that by me again.”
171. "I’m sorry, what were you saying? I keep getting lost in your eyes.”
172. “I’m starting an idiot jar. Any time you do or say anything idiotic, you have to put at least a dollar in it—more depending on how stupid the thing that you said or did was.”
173. “I’m tired of being your secret.”
174. “I’m up to the challenge.”
175. “I’m yours.”
176. “I’ve been in love with you my entire life.”
177. “I’ve got good news and bad news.”
178. “I’ve moved on.”
179. “I’ve never felt this way about anyone before… and it scares the shit out of me.”
180. “I’ve seen the way you look at me when you think I can’t see you.”
181. “If he’s going to treat you like shit, I’m going to kick his ass.”
182. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were trying to seduce me.”
183. “If I die, I’m going to haunt your ass.”
184. “If I ever see you anywhere near her, you’ll have to deal with me!”
185. “If my parents knew what I was doing, they’d kill me.”
186. “If this is love, love is easy.”
187. “If you die, I’m gonna kill you.”
188. “If you don’t want to talk about what happened, then say so. Don’t just lie and say it’s fine.”
189. “If you keep looking at me like that we won’t make it to a bed.”
190. “If you shove cake in my face this will be the worst wedding night of your life.”
191. “IF YOU USE UP ALL THE HOT WATER ONE MORE TIME, I’M GOING TO BAN YOU TO THE COUCH FOR A MONTH.”
192. “If you walk out right now, it’s over for us.”
193. “If you walk out that door, you’re no longer one of us. You’ll be one of them and that means I’ll treat you like one of them.”
194. “Is… is that even possible? Like, can we do this?”
195. “Is… that my picture in your wallet/as your home screen?”
196. “Is it really you?”
197. “Is it supposed to look like that? Are you sure?”
198. “Is that a challenge?”
199. “Is that an apology?”
200. “Is that real?”
201. “Is that what I think it is?”
202. “Is that what you’re doing? Trying to make me to hate you?”
203. “Is there a problem?”
204. “Is there a special reason, as to why you’re wearing my shirt?”
205. “Is there something you want to tell me?”
206. “It could be worse.”
207. “It made a difference to me.”
208. “It must be hard with your sense of direction, never being able to find your way to a decent pickup line.”
209. “It was just a dream.”
210. “It wasn’t supposed to happen like that.”
211. “It’s a hobby of mine to prove you wrong.”
212. “It’s all your fault.”
213. “It’s been fun. We’ve had a good run, but you parked in my spot. I’m going to have to kill you now.”
214. “IT’S NOT COMING OFF!”
215. “It’s not what it looks like…”
216. “It’s okay, I’m here for you.”
217. “It’s okay to cry…”
218. “Just leave me ALONE.”
219. “Just talk to me!”
220. “Keep your head up.”
221. “Kiss me.”
222. “Let him go! It’s me you want.”
223. “Let me buy you a drink?”
224. “Let’s do something wild and crazy!”
225. “Look at me - just breathe, okay?”
226. “Look at that. I’ve never seen your face get so red.”
227. “Look, I don’t have much time, but I wanted to say I love you.”
228. “Looks like we’ll be trapped for a while…”
229. “Make a wish.”
230. “Marry me?”
231. “May I have this dance?”
232. “Meet me at midnight. Alone.”
233. “Meet me on the bridge in an hour.”
234. “Meet me on the roof in ten minutes.”
235. “Mind if I cut in?”
236. “My parents asked about you.”
237. “No! I’m tired of doing what you say!”
238. “No one needs to know.”
239. “No one will ever hurt you again.”
240. “None of this makes sense.”
241. “None of that matters now.”
242. “Not a day will go by that I won’t think of you.”
243. “Oh, my God! You’re in love with her!”
244. “Please don’t argue. You have to leave right now, you aren’t safe here.”
245. “Please don’t cry.”
246. “Please don’t do this.”
247. “Please, don’t give up on me.”
248. “Please, don’t leave.”
249. “Please listen to me-”
250. “Please say something.”
251. “Please, take me instead!”
252. “Promise me you won’t let anything happen to him.”
253. “Promise me you’ll stay.”
254. “Remember our first date? When you took me to Starbucks and it took me 15 minutes just to choose a flavour of Frappuccino? I was never sure about anything, never. But I was so fucking sure about you!”
255. “Run, and don’t ever look back.”
256. “She’s been missing since Friday and you’re not worried?”
257. “She’s missing, not dead.”
258. “Shit, are you bleeding?!”
259. “Shopping? Do I have to go?”
260. “Shut up and kiss me.”
261. “Since when do you drive a motorcycle?”
262. “So? It’s not your problem so butt out.”
263. “So, I found this waterfall…”
264. “So there was an accident…”
265. “Somebody’s in love!”
266. “Sorry, I thought I was alone…”
267. “Stop taking pictures! I’m fucking stuck. Be useful and help me!!”
268. “Stop talking about love for a minute and help me with this bullet wound.”
269. “Stop talking about the past, I could be dead in a matter of hours… make me up a future.”
270. “Teach me how to play?”
271. “Tell me a secret.”
272. “Tell me again why I let you convince me that this was even remotely a good idea.”
273. “That came out wrong.”
274. “That guy at the bar keeps staring at you.”
275. “That is not coming in this house!”
276. “That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard!”
277. “The joke’s on them.”
278. “The paint’s supposed to go where?”
279. “The sign said not to push the button, so naturally I had to push it!”
280. “The skirt is supposed to be this short.”
281. “The three seconds rule doesn’t apply to sticky foods.”
282. “The way you flirt is shameful.”
283. “There are plenty of people out there who love you.” “Yeah, like who?” “Like me.”
284. “There’s no getting out of this. You ruined me.”
285. “There’s something I need to tell you.”
286. “Things don’t always turn out how they should.”
287. “This is… this is somewhere I never imagined I’d be.”
288. “This is by far the stupidest plan you’ve ever had. Of course I’m in.”
289. “This is so going on YouTube!”
290. “This isn’t just about you. It’s about what’s best for all of us.”
291. “Those things you said yesterday… Did you mean them?”
292. “Time’s up!”
293. “Twins? We’re…we’re having twins?!”
294. “W…Was that you making that noise?”
295. “Wait a minute. Are you jealous?”
296. “Wait, do you two know each other?”
297. “Wake up! Please, please wake up.”
298. “Walk it off!”
299. “Wanna bet?”
300. "Wanna dance?”
301. “We could be amazing!”
302. “We could’ve had it all.”
303. “We have to pretend to be married.”
304. “We missed our chance.”
305. “We’ll finish it the same way we started it…together.”
306. “We’re in the middle of a thunderstorm and you wanna stop and feel the rain?”
307. "Well….don’t keep me waiting”
308. “Well, this is awkward…”
309. “Well, this is where I live.”
310. “What are you afraid of?”
311. “What did I ever done to you?”
312. “What other hidden talents do you have?”
313. “What the hell are you doing here?! I told you I never wanted to see you again!”
314. “What the hell was that?!”
315. “What were you thinking?? Were you trying to get yourself killed?”
316. “When are you going to realize that I don’t care?”
317. “When I come back, that better be exactly where you found it!”
318. “When you love someone, you just don’t stop. Ever. Even when people roll their eyes or call you crazy… even then. Especially then!”
319. “Where did that cat come from?”
320. “Where did you find this?”
321. “Where did you learn to dance?”
322. “Where were you? Do you have any idea how worried I was?”
323. “Who brought pot brownies to the bake sale?!”
324. “Who gave you that black eye?!”
325. “Who’s gonna stop me? You?”
326. “Why are you baking muffins at three in the morning?”
327. “Why are you covered in mud?”
328. “Why are you dressed like that?”
329. “Why are you lying?”
330. “Why are you up so early?”
331. “Why can’t they see that they’re meant for each other?”
332. “Why can’t you see what you’re doing to me?”
333. “Why choose me?”
334. “Why do I even bother?”
335. “Why don’t they just kiss already?”
336. “Why don’t you say that to my face?”
337. “Why wouldn’t you come to me with your problems?”
338. “Will you just shut up for a moment so I can say something nice to you!”
339. “Will you please just give me a hand?”
340. “You are nothing like them.”
341. “You are the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”
342. “You better have a good reason for waking me up at the ass-crack of dawn.”
343. “You braided his hair?”
344. “You broke what?!”
345. “You came back!”
346. “You can trust me.”
347. “You can’t just sit on the sidelines your whole life!”
348. “You can’t leave me in the dark. You have to tell me these things.”
349. "You can’t protect me.”
350. “You deserve so much better.”
351. “You did all of this for me?”
352. “You did this for me?”
353. “YOU DID WHAT?!”
354. “You didn’t tell me it was karaoke night…”
355. “You don’t have to stay.”
356. “You don’t know you the way I do.”
357. “You don’t need to protect me.”
358. “You fainted…straight into my arms. You know, if you wanted my attention you didn’t have to go to such extremes.”
359. “You got her pregnant?! What were you thinking?”
360. “You had me at ‘free pizza!’”
361. “You have no idea what I’ve done for you.”
362. “You have the most amazing eyes.”
363. “You have to make a choice.”
364. “You have to remember!”
365. “You haven’t even touched your food. What’s going on?”
366. “You heard me. Take. It. Off.”
367. “You know I wouldn’t do this if I had any other choice.”
368. “You know my name?”
369. “You know, it hurt when I realized that you’re not in love with me. But nothing can compare to the pain I felt when I saw you fall in love with him…”
370. “You know, it’s okay to cry.”
371. “You lied to me!”
372. ″You look beautiful.”
373. “You make me feel like I’m not good enough.”
374. “You need to leave. Right now.”
375. “You need to let her go.”
376. “You need to wake up because I can’t do this without you.”
377. “You never told me you had a fucking twin.”
378. “You say the nastiest things when you’re angry, so yes, I’m walking away from you now.”
379. “You shouldn’t have even been there!”
380. “You walked away. Not me.”
381. “You weren’t supposed to hear that.”
382. “You’ll be the death of me.”
383. “You’re hiding something from me.”
384. “You’re my one exception.”
385. “You’re not alone.”
386. “You’re safe now. I’ve got you.”
387. “You’re the only one I trust to do this.”
388. “You’re too good for me.”
389. “You’ve got to be kidding me!”
390. “You’ve only heard his side of the story. You never asked mine.”
Okay you’re not listening to me and that’s making me a bit nervous.
SHUT THE FUCK UP.
hahahahahaahaha you’re so angry
Well let’s see, you’re so wrong bc *throw away all his arguments* that’s it, buddy. Go home, enjoy life.
*Still isn’t angry*
You’re angry? Well I can’t understand what I’ve done to make you angry, literally I’m not like that in fact I should be angry with you for making all this drama.
How???? YOu’re hurting me and you fucking like it, You are always hurting me and throwing all your problems onto me can you stop please I DON’T DESERVE THIS.
You’re the worst person that I’ve known. I hate u *hates them until they ask for forgiveness* Okay let’s hang out, I know a cool place we could go :)
How u dare
HOW U DARE TO TALK TO ME THAT WAY YOU’RE NOT THINKING YOU DON’T KNOW WHO THE FUCK I AM
I WILL CHASE YOU UNTIL YOU PLEAD FORGIVENESS AND I WON’T BE FRIEND WITH YOU ANYMORE ALL THE PEOPLE WILL KNOW THE SHITTY PERSON YOU’RE AND…
I still hate u but I have better things to do ;*.
I don’t find interesting fighting you.
Don’t you have something better to do than yelling to a wall?
You’re kinda idiot, aren’t you? Let’s see, you’re yelling inside a room (that, metaphorically, can be your own head) to someone that isn’t understanding and, furthermore, doesn’t care about the problem itself. Don’t you catch the uselessness of this situation? Plus, you gotta check your arguments. They’re too weak and poorly presented.
Go and sleep for some hours. You’ll be cool and tomorrow we’ll be able to debate this thing.
Why are you so angry?
You’re killing my vibe.
Okay I came here to have a good time and I’m honestly feeling so attacked right now.
Okay shut up you’re right *changes subject abruptly*.
I will hunt you down till the day I die.
Okay your arguments are totally messed up let me explain it to you, little.
Haven’t you listened to me?? WHY ARE YOU CONTRADICTING ME? Okay you should be respectful of others opinions *five minutes later* You need some fucking education. I’m never talking to you again!
Wait we were fighting? When?
You’re not worth my time.
I won’t stoop to your level.
You look so silly! Ow, look at these short-minded, their stupidity makes them adorable…
Your arguments are sooo uninteresting. I’ve heard this like 2 times before *rolls eyes*.
Ow, they’re so angry, I can’t stop laughing… oh, wait, what have you said?
OKAY YOU WANTED IT BITCH *starts throwing away all his arguments while trying to look confident and so over it*.
Your anger makes me angry. Stop being angry. I don’t want to fight okay
I don’t want to fight please I’ll be all messed up aND I HATE U
1. I wasn’t in love with you anymore, but god, this knocked the wind out of me.
2. You were just here.
3. You were just here.
4. Do you remember? The frozen food pressed to your shoulder, the way you shook with the knowledge of a barely avoided death?
5. My mouth. Yours.
6. I had been struggling with my old poems about you. You know, you were the first one I ever wrote. I had some questions for you, Cleveland. I suppose I don’t have them anymore.
7. It isn’t even seeing you kiss her that’s the problem. It’s that you share a table.
8. Maybe “wife” bothers me, too. I know how that word sounds, coming from you. Remember? Those long drives? Perhaps I still exist as your heart when you hit the road.
9. You still exist as mine when I hit the words.
10. I couldn’t read them aloud anymore, the poems. That old pain. It didn’t exist. We had chased it away with chocolate and cherries. Still, you occupy a shelf in the bright. In the cold .
11. You always have been impossibly careless with my heart. With my new lives, all of them.
12. There’s a Smiths song – if you were reading my texts I would send you it – it goes: and I’m not happy / and I’m not sad. I’m not sad, seeing you happy. She looks as full of light as I used to when you kissed me. I am glad for her. I know what you have to give.
13. It’s the loss of our friendship. More a removal. A reopened scar, from the last time. Remember, how we were friends? We’ve been so good at it. I can’t believe you won’t hear from me now. I couldn’t believe you wouldn’t hear from me, then. You know the words.
14. I just wanted to wish you well. I just. I just wanted to be what I always have been. Yours, in whatever form we decide.
15. Nearly two years since we met and you still find new ways to let me down. I think it impresses me more than it wounds.
16. You told me all about her, remember? We discovered we had both loved ghosts, since the last time you cried on my couch. Do you remember? The things that we allow to haunt us take root in the end. I need to change my sheets.
17. I wonder if I am the ghost now. The woman you never had the courage to keep. Do I haunt you, darling? I can hear your voice saying yes. Feel the reach of your arms as I spin out of them, laughing. Do I echo?
18. You kissed me like you used to, the last time. You will again, the next. You always do.
19. In a poem I never got the chance to read you, I said that you exist suspended in time. In flashes of white sheets. Bathed in orange light on the Golden Gate Bridge. Spinning me around on a cold February evening. One year ago today.
20. One year ago today, you laid next to me. We cried about something that doesn’t matter anymore. It didn’t matter then, either.
21. Do you remember the words? Of that last song at what we thought was the last breakfast. You sat me on your knee.
22. Your hands shook as you held me tight. I put my lips to your ear. Do you remember? The words. Say them with me.
23. In my own sick way / I’ll always stay true to you.
Upon Seeing Your New Girlfriend For The First Time. Charlotte Ford.
Anonymous said: Hi so I have this problem where i tend to always draw hands and
arms where they either turn out smaller or larger do u have any tips on
it? Like its never proportional to the body?
So here’s a little tutorial. It’s always good to browse the internet, there are a lot of useful tutorials on proportions. If you see an arm or hand is too small or too big that’s good because you can see it and it’s easier to fix the problem. If you draw digitally you can always use a line to measure if everything’s proportional, drag and rotate it the way you need (just use another layer) it helps sometimes :)
Anon Requests: Do you think you could do something like Reader is only wearing Cas’s shirt and they’re in the living room or kitchen or some place like that and Cas thinks it’s Sexy so he decides to fuck reader and they break something, which wakes up in the Winchesters and the Winchesters walk in and Reader get’s embarrassed but Castiel don’t stop fucking until he’s done? Thank you! AND How about a cas x reader where cas has been in love with reader for ages but never acted on his feelings/urges because he’s an angel and it’s a sin for an angel to be with a human(it’s forbidden). The reader overheard cas confess his affection for her to the Winchester boys and she decides to seduce him because she’s always liked him too but felt he hated her(but he was just avoiding temptation). So he just cracks and some really good smut follows and then some cute fluff 🤗 love you btw ✊🏽
Pairing: Castiel x reader
Word Count: 1.6k
Warnings: smut, a little bit of dirty talk, language, nsfw gif further below the cut!!
A/N: I decided to combine 2 requests for this one. hope thats alright!
Alright, let’s get something straight here before we get started. I am not slandering the man, my rant is to ALL THE FREAKING IDIOTS SCREAMING HE’S A RACIST.
In layman’s terms, I’m calling out the people calling Felix out.
Look, do ANY of you even know what racism even is? I bet you don’t. Did he actually use the slur to directly insult a person, that one person or several? Or did he say it while playing a game?
Because if your answer is ‘while playing a game on a stream…’ then here’s my answer to you.
ITS A GAME! PEOPLE CURSE AND SLUR ALL THE TIME AT A GAME! How in blazes does that make him racist?!
Now, if he was playing a game and directly used it with ill intent toward the player(s) THEN we have a problem. But did he? No, he didn’t. So that tells me, everyone’s being butthurt over something that isn’t even a problem. Making mountains outta mole holes situation here.
And you’re making jackasses out of yourselves. -claps- Congrats, you won the ‘Fucking Idiot’ award.
The n word is just a word, and it has a very bad history. A very bad, bloody history and I understand that completely. But here’s the thing. If its an racist insult for anyone but a black person to say it, then WHY say it to themselves like its a friendly insult? Its NOT an exclusive word for one “race” to say. Its a goddamn word that no one has copyright to.
Because if that godforsaken word is SUCH a problem then by logic… NO ONE SHOULD SAY IT. And I mean NO ONE. Like I said, its not a special word exclusive to one race. Either EVERYONE gets to say it and everyone puts on their big kid pants and grow the hell up. Or NO ONE SAYS IT and we can be done with the mess.
Its been how many centuries and everyone is STILL hung up on that word? Has harsh as it is… move the fuck on. Jesus.
Now, the reason I’m saying all this is because I personally am just sick and tired that the ‘racism’ card has been used to flag the smallest of shit just because someone got triggered. Unless its an actual fucking problem to be address, that damn card has maxed out its credits a LONG ASS time ago. And needs to fucking stop. Like really. If you pull that crap over the smallest of shit, you look like a fool and deserve a smack across the back of your head.
Another reason I’m putting my two cents on here, is the amount of bullshit I’m seeing of how people are flipping out about Felix saying such a word and people are attacking his friends.
How in the HOLY HELL do his friends have ANYTHING to do with WHAT HE SAYS?!
Felix is an adult, HE takes responsibility for his actions and no one else. Why should Mark, or Jack or any other YouTuber that is friends with Felix have to take responsibility for his actions? Why?
Tell me why.
Because by that logic, YOU’REresponsible forall of your own friends’ actions. Your best friend in school? Let’s say they’re taking drugs and get caught. By your logic of the YouTubers having to take responsibility for Felix’s actions, you take responsibility for your friend’s choice to do drugs. Not very fair is it? Why should you, if it was your friend’s choice? Makes perfect sense by the logic you’re putting out there for YouTubers to do it.
But it doesn’t make sense does it?
Didn’t think so.
Mark, Jack… every other friend Felix has, they don’t owe you an apology for being friends with him. They can disagree with him and be a little disappointed but apologize to the public?
They don’t need to publicly call Felix out for anything for whatever the “fans” want.
If you honestly feel that way to the YouTubers, you might as well fucking unsub. They’re not gonna cause drama for your amusement and pleasure, to watch them snipe at each other for stupid shit. You can do that on your own time with your friends. And if you do that, then it proves you’re a terrible human being.
So if you’re hoping for that shit to happen then you’re sorely mistaken and can kindly fuck off. They have better shit to occupy their time with than to deal with drama they’re not even a part of.
This spell is actually inspired by something my tarot cards told me, to let go of the pain and hurt and let it be swept away. This is a powder you’ll scatter into the winds.
Wormwood - for all of the bitterness and pain you’ve been holding in Salt/salt water - to symbolize tears and sadness Rosemary - to let go of the memories that hold you back Ashes - to symbolize the things around you that have been painful and unsuccessful, the ways you’ve been burned Rue (optional) - for regret (I don’t have any rue on hand right now, but it would be a fantastic addition to the spell)
Blend your ingredients together in a small bowl. You don’t need to grind them up if you don’t want to. Mix them, and while you do, think about all of the sadness and pain you’re holding in. Pour out all of your emotions of what’s pent up and hurting. Think of the past hurts and wounds. Pour that sadness into this powder.
Stand outside. (Crossroads would be great for this, but not necessary.) Take your mixture and hold it in front of you. Call forth the elements as you see fit. If you work with spirits/deities, now would be the time to call on them to aid you in this spell. Take a handful of powder and toss it into the wind at one of the four cardinal directions.
If you like to speak during your rituals (I personally don’t, so feel free to skip this), say something along the lines of
To the North I toss my regrets To the South I toss my sorrows To the East I toss my sadness To the West I toss my pain
May the winds carry them away from me So shall it be.
As you toss your mixture into each direction, picture the wind blowing it away and carrying your sorrows and struggles far away from you. Take a deep breath, and let it all go.
Thank the directions and elements for their assistance and end the spell as you see fit. Then go do something to cleanse and love yourself as a way to welcome in hope and love in place of sorrow and regret. (Write out a list of goals, do a self love spell, etc. Lots of options here!) Take a deep breath, your problems have been blown into the wind!
Surprisingly, it was easy for you
to lie yourself and to everyone around you. Flashing a smile anytime someone
around you asked you how you were doing. The layers of concealer under your
eyelids hiding more than the lack of sleep. You tried to keep yourself busying,
burying yourself under piles of books and notes to occupy your mind with
anything but Jungkook and how he wrinkled his nose when he smiled.
In a very
strange way you found solace in the amount of schoolwork that was piling up in
the pages of your planner. Exams, research papers, and presentations were
keeping you out of the house and inside the walls of the library. You were
regretting your schedule for this semester, but with the MCAT looming you
couldn’t afford to take any risks. Medical school was the light at the end of
the tunnel, and not even a bunny toothed boy was enough to keep you distracted.
however, had a problem with the fact that you should probably start paying rent
to the librarian. He missed you, constantly sending you reminders to eat and
drink water during the hours you were studying. You had regretted the night you
told him that you hadn’t eaten since 7 in the morning and 45 minutes later a
freckled teenager came into the library with the largest bag of Chinese takeout
you had ever seen. And your name was scribbled on the front.
Y/N 9:35 PM: Hobi, I appreciate the thought but can you please stop
sending me food while I am in the library.
Hoseok 9: 47 PM: I’ll stop sending you food when you actually sleep
in your bed, for once
you throw your phone back down on the table. He had a point. You hadn’t slept
underneath sheets in weeks. By the time you got home from school you were too
tired to make it your bedroom. Every morning waking up regretting the fact that
you had decided to buy the lumpiest couch known to man. You knew that this
wouldn’t last. That eventually you wouldn’t be able to hide behind the excuses
of academics to avoid having a life. You were going to burn out.
But two days later you found
yourself in the same position.
Recently, I didn’t reply to someone who had messaged me on Tumblr and this person reacted by blocking me, so that when I found time to answer the message, I had typed up my reply, and, obviously, couldn’t send it. I thought, well, that’s kind of a petty response to someone not answering right away (never mind that it would be sometimes days or weeks before I answer people’s messages on other forums, and they would be cool with it). I thought about this, and I thought about mentioning it, and the reason I’ve decided to talk about it is because it goes back to perceptions about interaction with others that we all need to be mindful of.
If someone sends me a message that I don’t answer right away or don’t answer at all it’s because:
I’m busy - I have a life that’s not Tumblr and that takes precedence.
I’m thinking of what to say - I sometimes need to do that. Thoughts aren’t always completely formed in my head, and I don’t write without thinking.
I’m not emotionally capable of responding - I’m upset about the thing you’re asking me about or I’m processing, so I can’t talk right now.
I don’t want to talk - everyone should be allowed to be silent if they feel like it.
I don’t have any more to say - if all I’m going to do is repeat myself, or if the conversation has come to a natural end, then I’m not going to say any more.
Tumblr got hungry and ate your message - which means I didn’t get it, which means I obviously couldn’t reply.
But, what all this really comes down to is this: no one is entitled to my attention. Message me by all means, but no one has an automatic right to my time or my emotional reassurance, even if I’ve provided it before. I’m a nice person: I like to talk to people and be reassuring and positive, but I am not a bottomless well of understanding and reassurance. I’m someone who needs time to process my own feelings and replenish my own stock of positivity, particularly when I’m upset about something. We are all entitled to make ourselves available to anyone or no one as we see fit.
So, anyone who feels like they’re entitled to my time or yours, and who gets petty or upset when they don’t get it, is not someone I or you need in our lives anyway. Respect yourself and your emotions and your time, and forget about anyone who can’t accept that.
Hello there, I just have to say I love your writing so much. I think you’re amazing, I was wondering if I could make a Tom Holland x Reader request? Where reader and Tom are dating but it’s like been for a month or so and reader is short and always has trouble reaching things and doing things. (I’m 4'10 so my short problems are real) and Tom just laughs but does help and keeps reminding reader how much he loves how short she is? I just really need some fluff at the moment :)
“Tommy? Come grab this for me, please?” you ask your boyfriend while standing on your tiptoes, pointing at the baking sheet on the top shelf. You’re baking cookies for Harrison because he just got cast in a short film. The celebration is in an hour and you really want to make him his favourite biscuits before you went. Tom steps forward and wraps one arm around your waist, his hand making contact with your uncovered midriff. You stop reaching towards the cupboard and choose to hug his arm against your body. His other arm reaches out and grabs the baking sheet before handing it to you. “Here you go, sweetness,” he whispers into your hair before stepping back. He retreats back to the couch, but not without pinching your bum first. You swat his hand away.
God, he thinks as he backs away while watching you, I love you.
“Babe! Where’d you put the movie?” you called out to Tom. “On the shelf above the TV!” he shouts back from the bedroom. You reach up to grab it but find yourself unable. Instead of struggling, you opt to grab a tall stool from the kitchen counter and to kneel on that. Tom walks in to see you standing on a wooden stool with your arm raised holding the movie out to him. He sighs happily at the sight before choosing to carry you off the stool to the couch. You squeal with laughter when he picks you up. He tosses you onto the cushioned couch and leans to kiss your forehead. Yup, you think as you pull him into a kiss, I definitely love this guy.
From that first day, you swear that Tom repeatedly places everything high up so you can’t reach. Your tea mugs have gradually moved from the lowest shelf to the second highest, the cereal lives on top of the fridge instead of on the counter beside it. Everything has moved so you can’t grab anything, and now you’re having family over for dinner. Your families are coming at quarter to six so you have to set the table while dinner is cooking.
The plates are on the highest shelf above your mugs. With a huff, you pull yourself up onto the counter. Kneeling there you can reach the plates. You hear a snort of laughter from behind you and you turn to see your boyfriend leaning in the doorway. “Not funny,” you mumble. He strolls over to place his hands either side of your knees. He laughs breathily and rests his forehead against the small of your back. “It’s kinda funny,” he tells you. “Well, you can laugh as you’re carrying plates.” “Can do, shortie.”
Your foot gently kicks his butt as he walks away and he can’t help but chuckle as he hears a muffled “Arsehole”.
“(Y/N)?” Harrison calls as he walks through the front door of your and Tom’s apartment. “In here!” you yell back from the living room. He walks in to see you standing on the back of the couch trying to grab something from above the doorway opposite you. The doorways in your apartment with Tom were obnoxiously tall which means you can’t reach, even will a chair underneath your feet. “Oy, get down from there! Tom will kill me if I was here when you broke your neck from falling,” he scolds. “He’s the one making me do it! He put my fucking keys on top of the doorframe!” At this, Harrison doubles over in laughter.
“I’d understand why,” he says, chuckling. “Why?” you ask. He snorts before replying cheekily, “well, I do have a really good view of your arse from here. It’s definitely not a bad sight.” That gets him a pillow chucked at his face.
I’m totally getting Tom back for this, you think with a smile on your face.
“Tom, this needs to stop. I can’t do anything around our house without getting on my tiptoes,” you berate Tom when he walks through the door. “I don’t see what the problem is,” he replies cheekily. “How’d you end up getting your keys?” At this comment, Harrison walks out from behind you into the hallway. Tom doubles over in laughter, “YOU CALLED HARRISON!” he shrieks amused. “Yeah, and apparently I have a nice arse,” you say and wink at Harrison. With that comment, Tom’s laughter dies and he begins to glare at his best friend. You turn to Harrison and get on your tiptoes to kiss his cheek. “Thanks, Haz. You were a big help, today.” Let’s just say Tom was a bit mad at the both of you for a few days.
You’ve gotten used to the height of everything by now. You’ve mastered counter climbing as well as chair mounting. Tom can’t help but smile lovingly when he sees your daily conquests to get a tea mug or the cereal box. He likes to watch when you stand on a stool and reach up because his large t-shirts you sleep in ride up your thigh. When you go to grab your jacket from the back of the front door, you instinctively kick your leg up. He doesn’t think he has seen anything better, though, than when you stand on his feet on your tiptoes just to lay a loving kiss to his lips.
“Babe,” he says finally. It’s a Sunday morning and you’re both in lying bed. You hum to acknowledge him. “I love you,” he whispers into your hair, “so, so much.” “I love you too, superhero.”
I love you more, he thinks.
“No, you don’t,” you tell him, still facing away from him.
“What?” he questions.
You turn to face him and snuggle into the pillow before grabbing his hand and wrapping it around your waist.“I can tell right there you were thinking ‘Oh I love you more, though’. But you don’t. It’s a fact.”
He giggles and tells you, “But I do, though. I love you to infinity.”
“Yeah?” You ask.
“Yeah,” he tells you sincerely; a loving look in his eyes.
When you say, “Well, I love you infinity plus two.” He can’t help but laugh.