do you see . . .im pun

Several Ways to Come Out

The joke edition of course, what else would you expect from me?

1. What do you call a bisexual out of the closet? Me!

2. Hey mom you know what my name would be if I were a japanese lawyer? Ace Attorney.

3. Dad what do the main girl from Camp Rock and I have in common? We’re both demi’s.

4. You see me stroking my pair of pants? Thats because im pantsexual.

5. “Why do you have the word ‘girls’ written on your takeout?”
“Oh cause i like to eat them out”

blogrates !!

hey guys!! im bored so let’s do some b l o g r a t e s alright 

some gross rules: 

le blogrates format:

url: i don’t rly get it | this is nice | who did you kill

theme: default | it’s pretty cool | wow this is goals | hello are you michelangelo

icon: its nice | aw this is perfect | where and how did you find this

posts: not my thing | pretty great | im highkey stalking your blog rn

following?: no but ily | i am now | ofc i am | unfollow button? what’s that

comments: !!!

some more irrelevant stuff:

- i’m tagging these with “dee does blogrates” if you don’t wanna see them!

- if this flops then we’re pretending it never happened. blogrates who??

Pharah puns n shit

Ok so being the Pharah main i am, i have an arsenal of puns and shitty pick up lines (to use on mercy ofc) BUT I NEED MORE. If you guys know any, throw them at me! I’ll put my little list here for my fellow Pharah’s to help themselves to ;) Most i found around the internet and tumblr, so if you see something you came up with dont eat me <3 Keeping in mind my bnet is “Gaybirb” so these come off as 100x worse huehuehue

- Put your secure-titty in my hands
- (upon death) i guess you can say my wings got clipped
- dont worry im not going Pharah way
- Is there a hail storm? because Just-ice is raining from above
- my puns are koala-tea
- (to mei) let it go
- (someone needs healing) better go to the pharmercy
- they call me salad because i be dressin
- dodging missiles like i do responsibilities
- mah rockets bring all the mercy’s to the yard~
- are you a target? because i’ve got you on my radar
- the forecast is cloudy with a chance of just-ice
- i’ll keep the skies queer
- (using rocket jump) team rocket is blasting off again
- are you homework? because im not doing you and i should be
- are you sitting in a pile of sugar? because you got a pretty sweet ass
- theres a sale in my room, clothes are 100% off
- (when someone doesnt get a joke) i guess that just flew right over you
- my puns are really taking off
- I cant fly straight
- (shot out of the air) i guess you can say… i fell for you ;)
- (when you hear sixtuple kill) sex-tuple ;)

anonymous asked:

what do you call a 5 year old onion? 오년!

….It concerns me to know that there are multiple people sending me these. Please rethink your life choices. Every one of you.

Anon: that nepal joke rnndndjdnd im from nepal and it warms my heart to see someone talking abt it esp when it was given to my kook/min oppa

I am glad that there is at least one good thing that came out of that ♡ (This heart is for you, Anon. The people who are sending me puns needed to have left my house yesterday)

Anon: Do you identify as male? :0

I only identify as oppa.

Originally posted by baepsaeboyss

Anon: as a fellow jjk stan, i feel u about the finding jimin stans cute, some of my favourite blogs are jimin stans & i always check up on them (an interesting coincidence, considering our boi jjk tends to find jimin particularly cute >.>)

Okay, good. Because same, I enjoy following Jimin-centric blogs. They’re so cute and nice and talented…you may be onto something here.

anonymous asked:

I raylly love your puns. I am thrilled every time I see them. We should rayassemble all your puns into a tag. I know that's a bit of a rayeach, but I raylly think we could do it. All those puns must take a lot of craytivity. I just love them so much it's driving me crayz. They're just grayt and I scraym with happiness when I see puns. I just wanted to rayassure you that your puns are truly, raylly, grayt.

stop this pain

Im in pain 

there’s nothing in me but remorese

anonymous asked:

I'm a touch bit drunk and when you said Reese's Bar I thought you meant like...A like literal bar where you make crafted Reese's. Like why isn't that a thing. Also, what kinds of things do you like to do or to hear when you're not feeling well? Cause if you need puns or some lil compliments, us followers are here for you bby.

tbqh i fucking love u lmao!!!

if im sad all i rly need to hear is nice things, tell me abt ur day, tell me ur fav flower, tell me about the sunset u saw!! even if i don’t answer please know that i see all of the messages i get and i appreciate each and every one of them

also i’ll ALWAYS accept puns

Okay, so, if a game has a car(/vehicle) and a desert THAT’S EVIDENTLY ENOUGH TO OVERRIDE ALL OTHER ANNOYANCES according to my brain. (see also: how much I fucking love mad max the game, where literally all you do is drive in the desert).

I fucking love this game now, and all I’m doing is crashing around the desert taking pictures (scans, but let’s be honest, it’s just a fancy camera) of weird alien animals and picking up minerals (I crave dat mineral xD).

everybody go watch 4th Man Out on netflix. u want a funny ass queer movie? do you just love chord overstreet? do u want a realistic yet heartwarming coming out story complete with frat boys and farts? then watch this thanks. 

ANDRIEL PANIC ATTACKS

 Please forgive me this is my first hc and im shit at these things

- Kevin is pissed the fuck off. 

-  If you thought he was an intolerable person you haven’t met him when he is pissed beyond belief. (Drama Queen)

- (see what I did?)

-(Yeah I hate myself for that pun as well)

- He was pissed over Nicky being behind the prank. The prank where someone had vandalized the walls and put ‘Kevin loves his stick and balls’ in bright red paint over the plexi glass 

- Nicky didn’t actually do it, @neilswesninski said they don’t know who had done it.

- (Sorry if i hijacked or stole your ‘Kevin likes stickballs. I just found it funny and a great way to lead to this @neilswesninski)

- Neil is having an off day where everything he is doing is just not working out and causing Kevin to get pissed and himself, leading to even more mistakes

- By the near end of the practice, all the drill shave ended with either the ball hurting something or someone, the movement off and causing him to face plant and eat dirt, 

- Basically anything that could go wrong did go wrong at the moment of practice and he was near crying and screaming, baiscally hitting something out of his anger he has in himself. 

-Andrew was laughing from his goal, enjoying seeing his boyfriend fail miserably and piss Kevin off beyond belief. 

- So when Kevin throws his helment off after the ball was safely out of play and started storming over, already starting to yell as he pointed his finger towards Neil, Neil froze and tensed,his fingers starting to slowly shake

- He didn’t see Kevin and the orange. All he saw was the familiar room he had stayed in when he was at the nest, trying to keep Andrew safe

- He felt the familiar hard bed, the black sheets and room surround him as Riko twirled a knife around, a murderous look in his eyes

- All he could hear was the distant yelling from Riko lecturing him as the knife dug into his skin. It was at that moment where it started. 

- His blue eyes had a far away look as his body shook and he back away from Kevin, stuttering apologizes before yelling a loud. “Im sorry Riko.” He said as he clenched the scars where the knife had dug into him all along ago. He was breathing heavy, his body convulsing in fear, his voice strangled as he let out faint whimpers

- Kevin had stopped, his eyes wide as he froze in place, scared and surprsied he triggered something that horrid of Neil’s memory. 

- However, Andrew didnt waste a single moment, abandoning his gear and going into a full on sprint as he saw his boyfriend living a panic attack

- He kneeled down after shoving Neil down to the ground, laying his body down as he took a hold of Neil’s arms, holding them above his head as he kneeled down, presseing their foreheads together, letting their nose touch as he stared deep in Neil’s blue eyes he loved so much.

-”Neil……..Neil you are not there……Riko is dead and you are in South Carolina.” HE spoke in a hard voice, watching Neil’s reaction. “You are a fox and you are with me and you are safe. YOu do not need to run when I am here to protect you.” Andrew said.

-andrew kept like thats, softly rubbing Neil’s hand in soft circles, murming as he slowly got his boyfriend to come back. 

- Neil could finally breathe properly, his eyes blinking as he looked up at Andrew’s eyes with surprise. “You had an attack idioit……” He said loud enough for the team to hear. He whispered quickly after. “You always worry me and im always cleaning up your mess.” He said in german smirking as he released Neil’s arms, sitting back.

- Neil felt like a rock had been lifted off his chest, his vision coming in clear once more, his breath returning as he shakily stood up with the help of Andrew. 

- “Thank you.” Neil whispered back in german before Andrew, pulled him down a pecked his lips softly before throwing back on his helment and neck guard, running back to the goal

- Neil was there, eyes wide with surprise as they have ever kissed in front of the team. He brushed everybody’s stare off as he jogged back, lightly clamping a hand on Kevin’s shoulder, smiling and forgiving him

- Nicky was squealing as he took out a camera from no where, snapping pictures of Andrew and Neil

- Neil had never played better at a practice after

tagged by the beautiful @nyx-erevodon

What’s your favorite subject?

english i suppose since its zero effort basically

What is your most embarrassing post on tumblr?

i do not keep those :3

What’s the best pun you know?

i dont know any^^; ask @cheeseful-tiger-demi-girl if u need puns

Something you’re talented in?

im pretty good at drawing except hands and if u ever have the wish to see a dcmk character in a specific outfit just give me a link to the outfit and your wish will most likely be granted

people tell me I can write but I disagree

also I can read hella fast

Fictional character(s) you’ve had a crush on?

if i list them all this will be my most embarassing post XD

Fandom you’re currently most active in?

Detective Conan/Magic Kaito (dcmk)

With/ against pineapples on pizza?

i don’t like it but people may do with their food as they wish obviously

What are the things you like about yourself?

well i look ok, not that i care much tbh, it’s more important for me to look interesting and im the kinda person who runs towards trouble

Do you think getting good grades is important?

nah, my anxiety believes otherwise but i dont actually think so

If you were to go on a road trip who would you like to have with you and what would you pack?

I’ll bring @cheeseful-tiger-demi-girl and @seralucario cause we do everything together so obviously. Cheesy will bring Gaara along (dont ask long story). And Lizzie will sneak along wether I like it or not cause thats her right as my little sis.<3 also if any of y’all wanted to come u’d be very welcome^^

pack…aside from obvious stuff like clothes and my meds and so on? uh I’d download a lot of books onto my reader including a survival guide. magnifying glass, fingerprint powder, rubber gloves, telescope. a phone with a good internet connection; a map and a compass because I have a tendency to get lost and shouldn’t tempt fate. matches, lots of snacks, paper and pencils and stuff cause i need those

Favorite meme currently?

Her: when you said “magical in bed” this isn’t exactly what I was exp-

Me: *holds up 8 of hearts* is this your card?

Her: *softly* holy shit .

Preference 3 - Your on your period

A/N: I need this at the moment because im suffering from bloody mother nature (pun intended)

Tate: He would probably be a bit wary on if he should comfort you or not because you tend to get moody on your period. If you want to see him he would usually lie down next to you and rub the lower parts of your belly trying to ease at least some of the pain and he would usually smother you with kisses as well. If you wanted to be left alone because you were PMSing he would usually do as hes told (for once) but he would often check in on you despite wanting to be alone. 

Kit: He would spoil you rotten (not like he doesn’t anyway) but he would usually buy you flowers, chocolates, and ice cream. Kit would want you to be comfortable on your period and would usually get you loads of blankets and pillows followed by a hot water bottle. He would lay down with you and let you rant and binge on the food he got you and overall just try to help you relax. 

Kyle: Being the joker he is he would probably make some period jokes like if you were being moody he’d say ‘’Don’t get your tampons in a twist’’ to which you hit him with as many pillows as possible. Usually calling you bloody Mary as well to which you ignored him the rest of the day with him pining and apologizing over and over again. But he would also run you a nice warm bath with some candles and let you rest for as long as you want then after wards you two would cuddle up to each other. 

Jimmy: Being as there are loads of woman at the freakshow he would handle it pretty well and wouldn’t be grossed out like most men would be. But once he hears you whine or crying from pain he would drop everything and be by your side, he would hold you, kiss you and over all be there with you not leaving your side until the cramps eased. 

James: He would love it when your on your period because that meant one thing for him ‘period sex’. Not being one for it you refused the first couple of times he asked but finally giving in its now a tradition that when ever you were on your period you two would have sex (not like you two don’t already). And then he would usually cuddle up to you and would never let you out of his sight not even for a second. 

anonymous asked:

Oh I see, it sounds pretty cool and I'm happy that you got a boy (insert igab pun here)! Ace Attorney is a videogame, they put the trilogy together in a bundle and I bought it a few days ago to play it while going and coming back from uni. It's nice and funny, is about defendants and lawyers and trials (and now that im so into Defendant its pretty accurate). Its cool to hear that you managed to finish your essay and also have some chill time by yourself to relax. I wish I could do that!

(speaking of have you guys watched igab today? 👀) thank you hahahha akjsd

ooooh! :o that sounds really interesting, I think I’ll check it out!! yeah it wasn’t too big tbh, it’s just a preparation exercise for the English certificate I’m going to take in June, we have to write 220-260 words on it, honestly the challenge is more so to be able to say what’s important in so little words because I’m used to do essays of 1500-2000 words for uni lol rip but yeah, I’m lucky to have that free time since my pos graduation is only on fridays and saturdays tbh

A German, French, and Spanish group of friends are walking in the center of town. A confused and slightly worried tourist approaches them, pointing to something concerning in the distance. He lifts up his finger shakily and asks the friends, “do you see that?” To which the friends reply, “Ja.” “Oui.” “Si.”

hello! doing a mass follow because im seeing things from last week 4 pages in and I havent been very active since a few months ago so like/reblog/whatever this post and I’ll follow you!

Looking for mainly:

>Osomatsu-san

>Gintama

>CFV: G

>AssClass

>OPM

>Ojisan to Marshmellow

>Boku Dake ga Inai Machi

>Ajin

>Ace Attorney

>Undertale

yknow… rose quartzs strength seems to be very… vision-based? like shes described as “always seeing the beauty in things”, and potential as well as beauty (what does she say to garnet in the answer? “im happy to see you again”?), and you could probs make a lot of puns here too (she was a visionary! she had a vision for the future of earth, that she fought for!)

anyway what im saying is that she reason shes important is that she saw that what the other gems were doing was wrong, she saw potential in earth and budding humanity, she oversaw the rebellion… it is what she saw that made her different.

steven, on the other hand, his strength is in words. this is an easier point to make; how many times does he talk his way out of potential conflict? (i just rewatched political power lol). he talked to centipeetle and calmed her down, he befriended peridot with his words (and singing! theres so much singing! hes so incredibly vocal). what did lapis say to him? “you actually talked to me. you saved me!”

so its fitting that rose had healing tears, but steven has healing spit.

So I was bored and....

THIS IS SANS HERE
I LOST MY BROTHER
BUT IM NEVER GOING DOWN AT THE HANDS OF THE LIKES OF YOU
BECAUSE IM SO MUCH BETTER
AND EVERY PART OF ME IS SAYIN GO GET ‘EM

I WAS NEVER GONNA FOLLOW YOUR RULES
COME AT ME WITHOUT ANY OF YOUR KNIFES OR TOOLS
LETS GO FOR THE HUNDREDTH TIME
LETS GO 'CAUSE IM DOING FINE

GO AHEAD AND TRY TO HIT ME IF YOUR ABLE
CAN’T YOU SEE IM TURNING ALL THE TABLES
I CAN SEE YOU HATE ME BY THE WAY IM WINNING
BUT IM NOT THE ONE WHO’S BEEN SINNING

AND I AM EVEN MORE THAN JOKES AND PUNS
I HAVE SEEN EVERY LITTLE BRUISE YOU’VE CAUSED
AND I AM YOUR KARMA
I AM YOUR DEMON
I AM DETERMINATION

I CAN SEE THAT YOURE MADE OOOOOF LOOOOOVE OOOOOF

LOOOOOVE LOOOOOVE LOOOOOVE

BUT IM STRONGER THAN YOU

new page

/daydreamers (deleted)

/w(rec)ks (give me props for the page name like CMON THATS A GOOD PUN)

i’ve decided to make it simpler now, and by that, i mean a message at the end for ALL the writers i’ve listed thaere.

i ain’t tagging them because im a shy lil’ fuck but if they ever do read it, it wasnt me, i swear ((no really it is okaybye))

but for those of you who have been wondering about my recommended list and i fire you off with /faq, here’s the list if you can’t access it.

good luck with your life now