do you realize how hard this was to not make it all entirely emma

Stuff from the Falsettos: In Conversation event!

William Finn, James Lapine, and Stephanie J. Block blew my mind several times yesterday and I wanted to share some cool things I learned about the show!

tl;dr: Falsettos beat Spiderman, Bill Finn and James Lapine should have their own sitcom, aND THE BANANA BELTING MOMENT WAS INITIALLY AN ACCIDENT

  • Packed house in Westport Country Playhouse. It was quite ironic because the event was free, but everyone there was hella rich. Hella. I know this because they started thanking donors at the beginning and there was one family there who had just donated a million. And literally not a single person was a POC. My middle-class Asian ass felt awkward.
  • It was Bill Finn, James Lapine, and Stephanie J. Block, moderated by Andrew C. Wilk (to whom we all owe our lives because he’s the executive producer of Live From Lincoln Center)
  • He told us cool stuff about filming Falsettos. There were ten cameras. He said that bringing all these huge cameras in was like your drunk uncle coming to a party
  • According to Andrew, when it first opened in cinemas, apparently in some markets FALSETTOS BEAT SPIDERMAN?????
  • YESSSSS FALSETTOS THAT’S MY FANDOM
  • Even Andrew couldn’t believe it
  • He was like it doesn’t sound true but I’m going to say it because it feels good to say it
  • And, as I mentioned in a previous post, he confirmed the PBS airdate as October 27 and he said that Falsettos might even have a second run in cinemas.
  • Andrew brought the three in. Audience went wild.
  • He asked them what the main theme of Falsettos is. Bill Finn says that it’s about what it means to be a man (which it seems that the Tumblr fandom has really hit upon in all the analyses, so good job Tumblr!!!)
  • And they talked about casting Stephanie J. Block. Bill said that she came in and auditioned with Holding to the Ground (“which isn’t a very good song,” says Bill) and he had never heard it sound that good
  • Stephanie has a very subtly poetic way of talking about things and it’s really moving?? She described Trina as a woman who constantly has “a well of tears” (she gestures at her throat) right here.
  • I’ve been there.
  • Andrew mentioned how her life is very different than Trina’s–she’s happily married with a beautiful daughter–and he asked her how she accessed Trina’s character
  • She talked about how she had taken a few years away from theater since her daughter was born. When Finn and Lapine called her about Trina to see if it’d be right for them and for her, she felt very insecure and scared going back to performing. The way she put it, in her state at the time, every emotion was at her fingertips. But she drew on this insecurity to play Trina. She said she listened to Falsettos and felt that she knew Trina.

Originally posted by trinaweisenbachfeld

  • Bill Finn is a CHARACTER. Cracked the entire audience up. He communicated almost exclusively in mumbled one-liners
  • When James Lapine was explaining the whole March of the Falsettos and Falsettoland Act I-Act II thing, Bill Finn was like, the first act’s not as good as the second act
  • Excuse me, Bill, both acts are masterpieces
  • So the format of the evening was that they would show a clip from the film and then talk about it, which was so cool. Watching the three of them watching the film was surreal, but one part was even more surreal
  • I’ve never seen that many elderly people in a room laughing hysterically over dick jokes
  • Partway through the event, Bill Finn started complaining about the fact that there were so many Act I clips, and Lapine was reassuring him that the first act was still good
  • I’m like HELL YEAH IT IS
  • He and James were hilarious together; they just bounced off each other and said such complimentary things about each other’s work and they would have full conversations with just their eyes
  • Okay, so we watched I’m Breaking Down, of course. Then Stephanie and James Lapine talked about the process of staging that scene. That was a gold mine.

Originally posted by trinaweisenbachfeld

  • According to James Lapine, the boobs were all Stephanie’s idea
  • James Lapine REALLY wanted to have a dummy bloody finger. He wanted to have Trina chop off a piece of her finger and there would be blood spurting and the audience would be freaking out over whether the actor actually was injured. He was very attached this idea and stuck to it until the very end. Everyone else was like James pls no. Eventually, it had to go because of the possibility of fake blood staining the costumes or set pieces
  • Stephanie warned us that she was about to make a pun but that she had to because it was so good, and then she said “the finger was cut”
  • And she was super proud of herself and grinning at the audience
  • James Lapine tried to high-five her, but she was too happy to see
  • (She finally noticed and high-fived him back)
  • The iconic banana belting moment was an accident????
  • Okay okay so this is a GREAT STORY
  • So y’all already know all about how it’s the actors themselves moving all the set pieces throughout the show. Stephanie says that it was Anthony Rosenthal who had to do most of the moving
  • So if any of the banana pieces fell, it was “poor Anthony” who had to clean them up
  • One day in rehearsal, sure enough, some banana pieces fell
  • Stephanie felt bad and didn’t want to make Anthony clean it up, so she picked them up and freaking SHOVED THEM INTO HER MOUTH
  • BUT SHE FORGOT THAT SHE STILL HAD TWELVE BARS OF THE SONG LEFT
  • When she finished, James Lapine was like O.O do you think you could do that often
  • The rest is history 

Originally posted by upsettoland

  • I have so many Bill Finn anecdotes that I don’t know which to share
  • Like I said, Bill would mostly communicate in mumbly one-liners
  • Example: we were about to watch This Had Better Come to a Stop, and Andrew asked Bill to set up the scene for the audience (they explained all of the context for everything in case some audience members hadn’t seen Falsettos)
  • Bill: Whizzer is misbehaving and Marvin gets mad.
  • Andrew (laughing): Is that it?!
  • Bill: Yes.
  • (Lapine swooped in to give a more in-depth explanation)
  • But!! Bill would sometimes suddenly speak up and say something so incredibly thought-provoking 
  • They were talking about the unlikability of Marvin, and Bill talked about how a professor he had at Williams said that Jane Austen made Emma so unlikeable so that we could learn to like her
  • And Bill said that he listened
  • We finally got to Act II (Bill was very happy about this) and we watched the baseball scene. 
  • Apparently, James had said to Bill that they needed a group number with everyone in it. At that point, Bill had already written the entire baseball scene in his notebook except for a few final chords, and he was like oh here you go I already wrote one.
  • James: When were you going to give me this?!
  • Bill: When you needed it?
  • And Bill talked about what he referred to as the “handball scene.” James apparently staged the thing before Bill even wrote it.
  • James: Bill, that was racquetball.
  • Bill: Oh, I thought it was squash.

Originally posted by htmlarry

  • BILL GOT JAMES LAPINE SO CONFUSED ABOUT THE LESBIANS FROM NEXT DOOR
  • Andrew was asking about the Lesbians from Next Door and Bill was like, the lesbians are actually from In Trousers
  • And James had this wait hold up facial expression and he said, I didn’t even know this. Who were the lesbians???
  • And Bill was saying Ms. Goldberg and the high school sweetheart and by then, James Lapine looked like the galaxy brain meme
  • James was like, but that’s just the actors, not the same characters, right?!
  • Bill said yeah they’re completely different characters and James looked very relieved
  • James: We’re great together. On our own, we’re a disaster.
  • Stephanie was talking about how she feels like as a young woman, she didn’t have the life experience to appreciate the complexity of Bill Finn’s story and lyrics:
  • Stephanie: “I liked to tap dance and put on red lipstick and make people happy with musical theater.”
  • And suddenly Bill Finn yells, “ME TOO!!!!!!!!!!”
  • Imagine the kind of person who could write both “BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH FUNNY FUNNY FUNNY FUNNY” and “this here is love when we’re talking face-to-face,” and you’ve got a pretty solid idea of Bill Finn
  • I know I haven’t talked about Andrew Wilk enough, so I’m going to reiterate here that we all owe our lives to this man. And he was so sweet and charismatic. I love this man. 
  • Near the end, they talked about us!!! The Falsettos fandom! Stephanie said she wants to call us kids, but she knows we’re teenagers and people in our twenties. She lovingly called us a cult and talked about all the banana memorabilia she has received and talked about how the cast sees pictures of us going to the cinemas in 80′s clothes/dressed as the characters. Stephanie thinks it’s so great <3 
  • Stephanie says that she’s not sure she’ll ever do a show as important as Falsettos again. She says there are so many wonderful shows, but in terms of “important”? It’s hard to find.

Originally posted by musicalsaregreat

  • The final scene they showed was Jason’s Bar Mitzvah and What Would I Do? and it was too much. You could hear people crying softly.
  • The last half hour was Stephanie doing a mini-concert (accompanied by the Falsettos conductor/pianist Vadim Feichtner!) and when she belted, I thought the back wall was going to blow off
  • She sang a bunch of gorgeous songs, interspersed with her talking about what these songs mean to her, but among them were “Don’t Rain on My Parade” and Holding to the Ground” (FIGHT ME BILL IT’S ONE OF MY FAVORITE SONGS EVER) and “Defying Gravity” (Wicked is the show that got me into musical theater, so this was really special to me) and I cried
  • An absolutely beautiful evening.

Originally posted by nikolaevna-romanova

  • Post-script: without announcing it or anything, they very quietly set up a signing with Stephanie in one corner. I spotted the table coming in, so I went to check it out afterwards, and SURE ENOUGH THERE SHE WAS. 
  • I was literally the second person to get there and there was no line behind me because people hadn’t realized yet. She signed the hand-out I got at the cinema (asking me who she should make it out to and addressing it to me in her beautiful swoopy handwriting!) and I told her I went to see Falsettos six times and she said, “I miss it every day, (my name). Every day.” And I asked her very hesitantly whether it’d be okay to get a picture with her, and she instantly said, “You ready?” Hence the selfie I posted last night. I CAN’T BELIEVE IT.

That was my day in Falsettoland!! I hope this stuff was interesting :) I love this show so much and I just wanted to share the cool stuff I learned!

Faking It

Summary: Killian Jones had just been joking when he’d told Emma Swan they were actually married. But in his defense, the doctors hadn’t mentioned that her concussion had given her amnesia.
Rating: T
Notes: Happy birthday, @lifeinahole27​! You are an amazing friend, and I’m so happy to have you in my life! I hope you like this story! Thanks to @optomisticgirl for the beta-read!

AO3

Based on the prompt: "You’re my best friend who’s just waking up from a concussion, I played a trick on you and said we were married and you have amnesia … but you just rolled with it and now I don’t know what to do.“


Killian had never been so terrified in his whole life. He’d known something like this would happen eventually, he’d warned her countless times, he’d made sure to have a plan in place. And yet when it finally happened, he felt entirely blindsided and paralyzed with fear.

Emma Swan was in the hospital.

Keep reading

Third Time’s the Charm

They’re 14, the first time MC asks Damien out.

Damien still went by “Dahlia” back then. Still dressed in pretty sundresses and sensible black Mary Janes, forced to be his mother’s little dressup doll.

Even at that age, MC already refused to answer to his birth name, and Dahlia had always admired him greatly for it.

(Through countless and increasingly irritated calls of his name, he’d sat convincingly oblivious, even when his mother’s eyes were wide, her nostrils flaring, her fists clenched.

Miles Christopher Young, you answer me right now!

He’d been grounded the entire winter vacation of their ninth grade, and still he stubbornly refused to acknowledge his name until, finally, his parents and teachers alike had decided this was a war no longer worth fighting, and had finally agreed to start calling him MC.)

They’re together for all of high school, practically attached at the hip.

Dahlia is the first one MC comes out to about being pansexual.

MC is the one that buys Dahlia’s first pack of pads, when he’s shut himself in his bedroom, crying and refusing to let anyone into his room, too ashamed to tell his mother.

They pose together for countless prom pictures, and MC gives Dahlia a corsage with a single, beautiful white rose.

(Innocence and purity; charm and innocence.)

But then they’re 18, and both leaving the nest for parts unknown, attending university on opposite ends of the country.

They try to make it work. They try so hard. But in the end, the stress, the distance, the workload, it’s too much. The phone calls and texts falter away, from daily to weekly to monthly, until quite suddenly it’s been three months and they realize they can’t remember why they’re still together at all.

And so they quietly cut ties and go their separate ways.

A clean cut, simple and easy, and so much more painful than either of them are willing to admit.


They’re 27 before they see each other next, and MC almost doesn’t recognize him at first.

Not that Damien can blame him.

Damien’s been on T for almost a year now, and has done away with his birth name for good.

MC smiles, wide and bright and joyful, telling Damien how proud he is of him, and Damien wonders for a dazed moment why he’d ever let this beautiful man go.

(He doesn’t tell MC about how, on some days, he had been the only one that kept Damien from falling apart at the seams.

He’d remember MC’s bullheadedness, sitting peacefully at his desk and reading a book as their furious fifth grade teacher called his name over and over again until finally she’d given in and said, with an exhausted sigh, “MC.”

And he’d looked up with the sweetest, most innocent smile.

“Yes ma’am?”)

They fall back in with each other so easily, it’s like nothing had ever changed, like they’re still the two goofy children who had imprinted upon each other on the first day of elementary school and had never let go.

They aren’t, of course.

They’re adults now, and reality isn’t quite so rose-tinted.

Damien is a single father, victim of an emotionally abusive transphobe of a fiancé who had walked out on him when Lucien was just a year old.

And MC is freshly widowed, still so lost and alone after losing Alex, clueless on how to be there for little 5-year-old Amanda when she wakes up in the middle of the night, screaming and crying for her papa.

But maybe that’s why the universe had brought them back together.

Because they were both drowning, and only the two of them could bring each other back up.

Three months after being reunited, MC shows up at Damien’s door with a red face and a bouquet of elegant white camellias and charming little yellow cowslips dotted throughout.

(Perfected loveliness; youth and healing.)

The next four years are perfection.

They take holidays to the beach and weekend trips to museums and art galleries.

Damien gives Amanda her first camera and teaches her how to use it.

MC teaches Lucien how to ride a bike and picks him up when he punches classmates who make fun of his papa. 

(Officially, MC scolds Lucien harshly for these instances and grounds him for a week.

Unofficially, he takes the little punk out for ice cream and praises him for looking out for his dad.

“Papa,” Lucien corrects him one day, and MC looks at him in confusion.

“Damien is papa,” Lucien explains. “You’re dad.”

And his voice is so matter-of-fact, as if he’s stating a simple truth of the universe, like the sun being yellow and snow being cold.

MC most definitely does not cry.)

But then, things start falling apart, like they always do.

The endearing little quirks they love about each other become irritating, the fights louder and more vicious.

Damien and MC both have their own problems, so many things to work through, so many hurts to heal from.

And maybe…maybe they’re not the right ones to help each other out after all.

Maybe they’re just hurting each other more by being together.

The second break-up is, if possible, even more painful than the first.

Amanda becomes withdrawn - why bother getting attached to anyone if they’re just going to leave you in the end? The only one she opens up to is her father, and to him she clings, like a baby koala. Because she’s already lost two parents. She can’t bear to lose a third.

Lucien becomes harder, more angry. He was 3 when MC had come into his life, and can’t remember a time without him. The longing for his dad is like a hurricane, a wild, fierce ache he doesn’t know what to do with. So he turns it outwards - to students who sneer about his weird last name and adults who call his papa she and her. But he never turns that snarling, explosive anger on his papa. Never on Damien.


They’re 39 when MC and Amanda move to quiet little Maple Bay, and it’s a few days before they actually become aware of each other’s presence.

Amanda is hanging out with some of her new friends (a pair of girls from her class, both named Emma), and MC, with nothing better to do, is at the Coffee Spoon, a nice little cafe within a few minutes’ walk from their new house.

He’s got a book open in front of him, and is sipping at his piping hot chai latte when the bell over the door gives a chime to announce a new customer.

He doesn’t look up as a pair of teenagers walks in talking about something or other, and he doesn’t notice how one of them freezes in his tracks, staring at MC with a breathless shock.

His friend stops too, and turns to look at him with confusion.

“You okay, dude?” asks his friend, Ernest, but he doesn’t reply.

“Dad?” he chokes out, voice just barely above a whisper.

And Ernest turns to follow his gaze, expecting to see Damien Bloodmarch.

But the man Lucien is staring at is short and broader in the shoulders. He has messy red curls and freckles sprinkled like cinnamon across the bridge of his nose. He’s engrossed in his book.

“You high or something, dude?” asks Ernest, but Lucien doesn’t reply.

“Dad!” he calls again, louder this time, as he walks up to the man sitting at the table, and his voice is maybe a little desperate, maybe a little vulnerable.

The man looks up, and Ernest sees his expression cycle through a million different emotions in the span of three seconds.

Confusion, bewilderment, dawning realization, tearfulness, joy, love.

He gets to his feet, pulling Lucien into a crushing embrace.

And the teen may be half a head taller than him, but he folds into the embrace with something akin to relief, like a tension Ernest hadn’t even known existed finally being released from his shoulders.

He’s quiet, almost docile, in a way that’s so completely foreign, Ernest is rooted to his spot.

They exchange a few quiet words, the stranger wiping what look like tears from Lucien’s cheeks.

Then, they pull apart, and Lucien watches the man leave with longing, watches him cross the street and head towards the Bloodmarch residence.

He doesn’t snap out of it until the man is completely out of view, after which he proceeds to ignore Ernest’s questions in favor of dragging him to that house that used to belong to the Wilson family until they’d moved last week.

He pulls out a key that Ernest hadn’t even noticed the other man give him, and let them into the house, where they sat watching television while they waited for…something.

An hour or two later, the front door finally opens, and a pretty older girl with healthy dark skin and a sweet, freckled face walks in.

She stops short when she sees the two strangers in the living room, and looks like she’s about to take on a fighting stance before Lucien quickly unfolds from his position on the couch and approaches her cautiously.

(He, better than anyone, knows not to underestimate her sweet and unassuming appearance.

She’s been taking kickboxing since she was 6, and had been formidable even then.

He shudders to think how dangerous she must be now.)

“Calm down, Manda, it’s just me,” Lucien says by way of greeting, and her expression morphs into confusion.

“Who is “me”?” she asks, eyes narrowed.

“What, don’t recognize your own baby brother?” he asks, tone teasing, and she gasps.

“LUCY!” she shrieks, tackling him, and Ernest would probably be laughing at the ridiculous nickname if he wasn’t just so darned confused.

It takes about ten minutes for her to get her squealing and tears back under control.

“Where’s dad?” she asks. “Where do you live? Can you take me there? I wanna see pops! Is he home from work yet? How-”

“They’re busy, Manda,” Lucien finally interrupts, and Amanda’s eyes light up.

“’Busy’?” she asks, her smile taking on a sly edge, and Lucien huffs and rolls his eyes, pushing her face away from how annoyingly close it was to his own.

Talking,” he stresses. “Busy talking.”

And Amanda’s smile takes on a softer cast.

“About time,” she says. And her voice is hopeful as she asks, “Do you…do you think they’ll…?”

She doesn’t say the words, worried that vocalizing them will break the fragile hope that’s woven tight around her heart.

Because she wants this. More than anything she’s ever wanted in her life. Wants it so much she can barely breathe, so much she doesn’t know how she’ll survive if it doesn’t happen.

And Lucien, for all of his cynicism and jadedness, wants it just as fiercely as she does.

“God I hope so.”


It doesn’t take MC 3 months to ask Damien out this time.

It’s been nine years since their fragile happiness had broken apart, and in that time, he’s done a lot of thinking.

A lot of learning and growing and regretting.

And now that they’ve found each other again, he’s not going to let go a third time.

They sit and talk for a long, long time.

They talk about their lives, their hopes, their problems, their children, their love.

They talk about everything that had gone wrong the last two times, and they talk about whether they’re willing to give it one last shot.

After five hours of talking things over and working things out, they decide to take some time apart to think things over.

MC goes home with a spring in his step and hope in his heart.

Amanda and Lucien, as well as the other boy from the coffee shop whose name MC never got, are slumped over each other on the sofa, fast asleep while an episode of Long Haul Paranormal Ice Road Ghost Truckers murmurs quietly in the background.

With an exasperated smile, MC turns off the television and tucks a blanket around the teens.


Lucien returns home the next day just before noon with a kink in his neck and a smile on his lips.

He badgers his father for the next hour or two about what he’s going to do about his relationship with MC until Damien finally gets fed up and throws him out of the house to go and “bother someone else for a bit.”

Lucien obviously takes this as a good sign, because he’s wearing a satisfied grin across his cheeks.

Damien wants to be annoyed at how easily his son can seem to read him.

But he doesn’t have any room in his heart to feel anything but excitement, happiness, love, optimism.

When his doorbell rings a few hours later, he opens it excitedly to find MC standing there, hiding behind an enormous bouquet of dahlias.

(Dignity and elegance; commitment and everlasting bonds.)

And Damien can’t help but think back to that innocent little girl more than three decades ago, with her pretty little sundresses and sensible black Mary Janes, with her scraped knees and fingers covered in paint.

He wonders if she’d be proud of the person he’d become.

He sure hopes so.

What This Family Does

My own fix-it fic - written before 6x17, but I didn’t publish it before. Slightly canon divergent, but not much… Killian comes back from Neverland, and Snowing are awake already. I felt Killian deserved a little more than just being forgiven.

title: What This Family Does

summary: Killian comes back from Neverland, and some things should not be swept under the rug.

rating: a very tame T - and F for lots and lots of forgiveness… because that’s what this family does, after all.

also on ff.net and ao3


When he’s finally back in their home, weariness settles into his bones as he sinks on the couch.

Staring into the fire that’s crackling against the crispy cold outside, his mind starts to drift, and he thinks back to the moment he was about to burn the dreamcatcher with his awful memories. Without even noticing, Killian runs his hand over his face and sighs.

David didn’t murder him, not even punch him in the face, on the contrary – he showed what looked like genuine relief, maybe even joy when he finally managed to return to Storybrooke, the bloody Crocodile’s offspring’s curse broken. But he knows there will come the moment – sooner than later, probably – when they’ll have to have a serious talk about the disastrous events that took place all those years ago, in that night he ran his vicious blade through a completely innocent man and destroyed yet another family.  In fact, destroying families and orphaning guiltless children seems to be his specialty.

But… he reminds himself that this is in the past, and he has finally made his peace with the fact that his past doesn’t define him. What does define him are his actions and his choices, the man he is now: the man who managed to defy the darkness of Excalibur, the man who stands up for his loved ones, the man who helps justice to be done, curses to be broken and families and lovers to find each other again. The man he is now – he knows and accepts it, that man deserves love, he deserves trust and he deserves a happy ending. And if he has to work a little harder for that, then he’ll do it. He’ll do whatever it takes to set things right with David, his best friend aside from Emma, and he’ll do what he must to prove himself to her, show her that he does have trust in her and their love. He can only hope that it is enough to make her believe in him again and trust in their relationship enough to make her want to be his wife.

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Catarinalosss’ Book!Malec Fic Recs

Anonymous said: 
Hey! I love your blog, and I was wondering if you could recommend some malec fics to me? I can’t seem to find book malec fic anywhere. Thank you!



Ohohoh, you’re going to be sorry you asked, anon.

I have the same problem with finding good Book!Malec fics, since they’re all buried under the gargantuan pile of Show!Malec fics. Luckily, I have the procrastination skills of a teenager my age, so I was able to go through that enormous pile, and filter through the Book!Malec fanfictions. I’ll sort this masterpost with my favourite authors (because some people have the writing skills of a genius and I love all of their fics) , my favourite series’s, and my favourite fanfictions. Enjoy!

FAVOURITE AUTHORS

Spun on Fanfiction.net

Oh man, I could go on and on why the author is one of the best fanfiction writer I’ve ever seen, but I’ll keep it brief for everyone’s sake. The plots of the fics are so amazing, they’re short and to the point, which is an immediate winner in my book, yet they have so much detail. They’ve got the characters spot-on, they’ve got the right ratio of fluff to drama, and they have amazing Malec content. Keep in mind that those are all Book!Malec fics. Also, this author has a lot of work based off the first three books in the series, there aren’t that many after CoFA.

I could literally list all their fanfictions as my favourites, but I can’t really do that, so without further ado, here are my top five:        

*Pride Goeth  [T, 1/1]

Summary: Magnus is attractively arrogant. Alec is horrendously sick for two days, but he gets to be right for once, so it’s worth it. “We should call it a holiday. ‘The Day Alec Was Right and Magnus Was Wrong’.”

Notes: Definitely one of my top three, this is so amazing. Great storyline, well written characters, and full of fluff. 

*Snippets [T, 6/6]

Summary: One hundred and fifty one-sentence Magnus/Alec fics - everything from angst to crack to pure fluff. “I don’t think writing ‘Property of Magnus Bane’ on the back of my jeans is the ‘subtle sign of possession’ you were looking for.”

Notes: This fic takes you on a journey. It’s short and sweet, terribly angsty at times, and I love it

*Payment & Indebted [K+, 1/1] [K+, 1/1]

Summary (Payment): “There were some experiences that just couldn’t be bought, and being shyly hit on by a drowsy nine-year-old was one of them.” Because I am in love with the concept of Magnus and Alec meeting long before the party.

Indebted: Sequel to Payment. When Magnus told him “In nine or ten years, come find me and then we’ll talk,” he probably hadn’t meant “Nearly get yourself killed by a Greater Demon so I have to heal you again.” Alec was better at this when he was nine.

Notes: These are so sweet. I love the idea of Magnus meeting Alec as a child, and this author has captured the idea perfectly. The sequel is amazing as well, definitely check it out.

Understanding [K+, 1/1]

Summary: Robert gets rocks thrown at him, Valentine is occasionally not a total sociopath, and Max almost ends up being named ‘Templeton’ - in short, eleven people who impacted Maryse Lightwood’s life, in one way or another.

Notes: This POV so refreshing, they’re all really great stories and I love Alec’s especially, it’s such an unusual fic and I adore it. (Malec at the end)

Occupational Hazard [K+, 1/1]

Summary: Preseries. “It’s tragic,” Isabelle says, “but you’ve been demoted to family pillow. Deal.”

Notes: The family dynamic in this is so great, I love all the alluding hints to the series and how the Lightwoods interact with each other (this isn’t technically Malec but it’s still great)

CumberbatchCritter on AO3

I loooove this author so much. They have such an amazing way of telling a short, fluffy story. I re-read this authors works all the time, because I adore them so much, and the amount of Malec fluff in these is almost too much, but not quite. Again, these are all Book!Malec fanfictions. There are a lot of sick!fics, which I love, but other people may not like, so just a heads up, but they are extremely well written.

Here are my top five:

*Out of Character [T, 1/1] 

Summary: “… The city… was devastated and… there was a lake of blood… I saw you… reflected in it… and you were drowning…” He raised his head, looking blearily up towards Alec. “I think it’s a trap… and I can’t lose you… Alexander.

“Magnus has a dream. One of those dreams. When he comes to, all he can focus on is getting to Alec.

Notes: Usually these fics of Magnus-having-a-vision-of-Alec-dying are so overdone, but this fic comes in my top three, it’s so amazing.

 **Marred Beauty [M, 1/1]

Summary: Alec has scars.

He thinks that they’re not important.
Magnus calls them battle scars.

Notes: This is probably my favourite from this author, be warned, the Malec content in this is extraordinarily adorable. Tw - mentioned attempted suicide and scars.

Poison [T, 1/1]

Summary: Magnus knew there was something to be said about being on his knees in front of his boyfriend, but he guessed the effect was lessened slightly when he was on his knees because he hunched over the toilet, desperately trying not to throw up into it.

Notes: Magnus gets food poisoning. Fluff ensues. Enough said.

When in Doubt, Add Glitter [T, 1/1]

Summary: Magnus wanted to kill whoever had given Alec the flu, because he hated seeing his favourite Shadowhunter (and boyfriend) so miserable.

Notes: Alec contracts the Flu. Fluff-filled, very cute.  

*Wounds Left Open [T, 1/1]

Summary: “I’m serious, Alec,” Magnus said. “I had a knife against my throat and all I could think about was you… black hair, blue eyes, and the smile I fell for.”

Notes: Sort of a filler in between the return from Edom and the Malec make up, a little AU-ish, but still a favourite of mine.

Noisyhanners on AO3

AAAAA. This author is AMAZING. Their works are so sweet and nice and CUTE! If you like Lightwood-Bane family antics, this is the author for you. Max and Rafe are good kids, Alec and Magnus are great parents, fluff is STUFFED into these fics. All Book!Malec fics!

There are only four fics, so I’ll list them all as my top four:

*Rafe’s First Sleepover [K+, 1/1]

Notes: Rafael and Tavvy are future parabatai goals, featuring Emma and Jules. Very cute.            

*Max Goes to Prom [K+, 1/1]

Notes: My absolute FAVOURITE. They’re just a normal, happy, functioning family :“))

*Cat Comes to Dinner [K+, 1/1] 

Summary: Catarina not-so-secretly loves the Lightwood-Bane house.

Notes: Pure family antics, in Catarina’s POV. I highly recommend, super sweet.

*Total Bliss [K+, 1/1]

Summary: Alec and Magnus have a soft conversation over wine one rainy Saturday night-in.

Notes: DOMESTIC MALEC. ENOUGH SAID.

Thewholocked on AO3

I’m a sucker for alternate universes, and this author has tons. Hogwarts, Childhood Friends and just pure fluff drabbles, this author has a LOT. Keep in mind that there are some show!malec fics, but there are twice as many Book!Malec fics. The writing is a bit punctuated, but I don’t really mind. Pretty sure these are all Book!Malec again.

Top five:      

*Hitting (On) [K+, 1/1]

Summary: In which Alec and Magnus are Beaters of opponent Quidditch teams and hate (love) each other.

Notes: Ahhhhh. Don’t you just love enemies to friends to lovers AND Hogwarts AU’s?

*And This is How it Starts [T, 1/1] 

Summary: Basically Malec friend to lovers au.

Notes: Childhood Friends and drunken kissing. What could go wrong? 

The Champions [K+, 1/1]

Summary: Alec is from Durmstrang, Magnus is from Beauxbaton and they both happen to be the champions.

Notes: Magnus is from Beauxbaton, Alec is from Durmstrang, and they’re competing in the Triwizard Tournament. Fluff. 

In Love [K+, 1/1]

Summary: ‘A diaper. An actual freaking diaper. I was looking for that last night, I wrecked our sock drawer trying to find it and-it’s not funny, Alexander!’
But Alec was laughing so hard he couldn’t even respond, his voice musical, his head thrown back and Magnus starting smiling too because Alec’s laugh was so contagious and so utterly honest.

Notes: Tooth-rotting fluff.

One Step at a Time [K+, 1/1]              

Summary: Alec and Magnus teach their son how to walk.

Notes: Adorable.   

thewarlocksbitch on AO3

This author does some amazing fanfiction, but be warned, there are a load of smut fanfictions. The non-smut and smut ones are REALLY cute, and well written, and some of my top 10.

Top five: 

like a mischievous teenager [E, 1/1]

Summary: 'my parents hate you so I’m sneaking you in at night for sex shhh’ malec high school au

Notes: Cute, and very smutty. 

fearless [K+, 1/1]

Summary: kiss in the accords hall from Alec’s pov

Notes: Hall of Accords. Need I say anything more 

surprise PDA [K+, 1/1]

Summary: prompt: i wasn’t gay but then i kissed you in front of some homophobes to piss them off and now im im kinda gay au (well actually I am gay but I’m closeted and didn’t know how much I like you)

Notes: ahhhhh this is so cute omg, I love how Alec is written in this.

*sleepover [T, 1/1]

Summary: 
“we’re in college and living in the same dorm, and I find you passed out in the elevator after a night out with friends” au

Notes: I just love college AU’s. Very cute.

*truth or dare? [T, 1/1]

Summary: malec highschool au with best friends to confused crushes after a truth or dare kiss and “Looks like we’ll be trapped for a while…”

Notes: Childhood BFF AU’s are the best. Really well written. 

LastHope on AO3

This author has everything. I love them. I feel as if most of what they write is canon in my mind, because it’s that good and that well written. There’s loads of Malec fics which are AMAZING, and some Heline fics which are SUPER GOOD and you should definitely check out. These are all Book!Malec.

Top five:

*A Conversation on Immortality [T, 1/1]

Summary: Aline comes to a realization, and seeks advice from the only person she can think of who knows what to do. Post-CoHF

Notes: This fic makes me cry every time I re read it. Amazing Malec, Heline, and Alec/Aline brotp. Highly recommend.

*Where Thou Diest, I Will Die [T, 1/1]

Summary: …and there will I be buried: The Angel do so to me, and more also. - Parabatai OathWhat happens to the other half of the parabatai bond when one dies?Alec’s side of the Battle of Brocelind Plain, after Jace was stabbed.

Notes: another heartbreaking fic, with Malec and platonic Jalec feels.

**Bewitching Bouquets [K+, 1/1]

Summary: All Magnus wanted was the cute blue-eyed man’s phone number. All Alec wanted was to be able to breathe.

Notes: AAAAAA I LOVE THIS FIC. FLOWER SHOP AU’S ARE MY WEAKNESS.

To Love Someone That Much [T, 1/1]

Summary: Helen imparts some words of wisdom on Magnus about his past, and current, relationship with Alec before she leaves for Wrangel Island.

Notes: Pre-Malec make-up, when Helen kicks Magnus in the ass to get his act together. Another amazing fic.

*Secret Fights [K+, 1/1]

Summary: Alec and Magnus were supposed to have a happy relationship, not one like Mom and Dad’s. Isabelle hated hearing secret fights occurring in the middle of the night when the couples in question thought no one would hear them. She heard. Isabelle always heard.
Series

Notes: During CoLS. THE ANGST.

Rena on AO3

Again, an amazing author which I highly recommend, they’ve got everything from sentence fics to chaptered. Such a beautiful writer.

Top five: 

Fragments [T, 1/1]

Summary: One hundred one sentence pieces of Magnus/Alec from angst to fluff. “Okay, I’m giving you exactly one minute to explain to me why and whereto all my clothes have vanished – and 'because they were black’ is not a valid answer.”

Notes: Amazing sentence fic, cute & funny

Five Times…. [T, 1/1]

Summary: ..Magnus Bane saved Alec Lightwood, and one time he couldn’t.

Notes: Hilarious fanfic, not what you think it is. 

These Fragments I Have Shored Against My Ruins [T, 1/1] 

Summary: In which Magnus lies wide awake at night and ponders over the fragility of their relationship.

Notes: Angsty af, but I love it.

Letters From Nowhere [T, 11/11]

Summary: A mysterious letter at the front door, with no indication who might have sent it. And if Alec wants to find that person, he has to solve the puzzle laid-out for him… 

Notes: Such a cute AU, I recommend this fic so much.

Kaleidoscope [T, 1/1]  

Summary: “At the height of laughter, the universe is flung into a kaleidoscope of new possibilities.” Drabble-collection.

Notes: Drabble collection. Very cute and occasionally angsty

FAVOURITE STAND-ALONE FICS

Finding Out by jennynivea [T, 1/1]
How the different people in Alec’s life find out that he is engaged to Magnus. Includes Izzy and Simon, Jace and Clary, Aline and Helen and Maryse and Robert. With a dash of fluff, humor and heartfelt feels. 

Notes: Very funny, especially the Izzy and Simon section

Instruments of Chaos by pissedofsandwich [T, 1/1]
It all started with, “Marry me today.” Or, the one where Alec and Aline kicked ass in the Clave meeting. Or, basically, all of the official pairings cramped in one fic and caused chaos. 

Notes: This one is a bit cheesy, but I still love it. Notice the use of the unidentified snippets.

A Soft White Damn by twahtohnedskee [K+, 1/1]
She bet he was waiting for someone. Boys like that always were. She hoped that the girl was pretty, at least. By now, the boy’s cheeks were starting to color due to the cold. It was kind of adorable. She didn’t understand why anyone would keep a boy like that waiting. 

Notes: A beautiful fic, told in an outsiders POV.

We Can Try by prodigaldaughter13 [T, 1/1]
Jace is causing trouble once again, plotting to get Magnus and Alec back together. 

Notes: Basically someone’s take on how Magnus and Alec were going to get back together, it’s an adorable fic and I love it so much.

The Other Side by saraubs [T, 1/1]
Alec finds an old trunk full of mementos in Magnus’s closet and is upset to find that there’s nothing in there to remind Magnus of him. Or is there? Inspired by the short story “Magnus’s Vow”. 

Notes: Where Alec finds Magnus’ box of memories and gets a vision of all the moments featuring him important to Magnus. Very good ff.

Ask Me by himekohimura [K+, 1/1]
A short of the City of Glass scene. 

Notes: Aaaaa so cute!!!! I love re-reading this one.

Bits and Pieces by Take_Me_To_My_Fragile_Dreams [T, 3/?]
A collection of 1000 prompts all centering around Magnus and Alec.
Practical: “Magnus, sliding down a rainbow to reach the altar isn’t really the best idea, it’d probably spook the flying horses you’re so keen on having.”
 

Notes: A lovely sentence fic, ranging from fluff to angst

Don’t Touch My Heart (I Was Taken From The Start) by Take_Me_To_My_Fragile_Dreams [T, 1/1]
In a world where everyone has a soulmate whose name is tattooed on their wrist, Alec and Magnus are just trying to find one another among the masses. 

Notes: This is SUCH a beautiful fic. Honestly. If you like soulmate AU’s, this is the fic for you. 

Some Day by Take_Me_To_My_Fragile_Dreams [K+, 1/1]
Some day he’ll stop blaming Jace. (But not today). 

Notes: Hella cute phone conversation fanfic.

Of Weddings and Surnames by fakeditfromthewordgo [K+, 1/1]
'“I’ve met a lot of men–“ Jace snorted, and Magnus’ eyes narrowed– “but I don’t think anyone could forget Will Herondale.”’ 

Notes: Jace is nervous on his wedding day, and Magnus tells him about his ancestor. Not really Malec, but a cool fic anyways.

Flicker by may10baby [T, 1/1]
Set during the main battle of COA. Magnus’ POV as he rescues Alec from drowning. 

Notes: I have nothing to say except :“(((.

The Memory Room by ElvenAvari [K+, 1/1]
Imagine somebody who’s immortal having a gigantic room where all the walls are completely covered up with photos. Each one is of a different loved one whom they have outlived. 

Notes: *violent sobbing*

Open Doors by gigi_marlee [K+, 1/1]
The day Alec moved into Magnus’ loft in Brooklyn was the day he told his mother he was moving out.
It was easier to do when he practiced with Magnus.

Notes: Cute Mayrse and Alec dynamic, I really like this one.

Across the Realms by KataraAlchemist [T, 10/10]
It’s happened before, a shadowhunter moved wrong or just didn’t move fast enough, and the next moment they were gone. Sucked into another realm. And they never came home, not alive or in one piece anyhow. Now it is happening again, Alec is gone. 

Notes: This is such an emotional fic, it says in first person POV though, so don’t read if you don’t like.

things we’re good at by alicelightwoodbane [T, 1/1]
Notes: Post-CoHF. This is such a CUTE AND ADORABLE FIC! I cannot recommend this more.

Day 6: "Take my strength” Day by Malteser24 [K+, 1/1]
Notes: This fanfiction made me bawl like a baby, it’s such a sweet beautiful fic. Malec weddings are the best.

Very Good News by Kimmy [K+, 1/1]
Never had a phone call at three in the morning spelled good news. 

Notes: This is an amazing fic, adorable and sweet. :“))

Kiss the Teacher by Aristola Gracewell [T, 1/1]
Rainy days makes for lazy mornings. Magnus tries, and fails, to bribe his boyfriend to take a day off work. Being the sweetheart that he is, he offers to make-up for lost time by giving a nearly-tardy Alec a ride to work.
(Or: This is what happens when Alec’s students catch him kissing Magnus in the entryway.)
 

Notes: AAAAA I’M IN LOVE WITH THIS FIC. TEACHER AU.

Boyfriend’s Lesser Talents by Aristola Gracewell [T, 1/1]
You hate cooking” Alec blurted out.
“But that doesn’t mean I’m not any good at it.”

Notes: Super sweet and domestic, I’m in love with this.

The Descent by GiveUpResistance [E, 10/10]
He brought a splash of colour, of life, to him when he sat down next to him with a graphite smudged face when he was fifteen, and after seven years of being his friend, Alec loves him still, falling harder and harder with each passing moment, with every word and look, every fight and every apology, a steepening descent. Malec AU set over seven long years of falling. 

Notes: Oh god. This fic made me laugh, cry, and everything in between. This is my favourite fanfic at the moment. It’s super angsty, sweet at the end, and will probably make you sob. tw for self harm.

A Splash of Colour by irie_eerie [K+, 1/1]
Alec always felt invisible, an outsider watching from the sidelines. Then he meets Magnus, a street painter who lives his dream in a world of color. “It just takes one person to make you feel like you belong. To make you feel special.” AU-AH, Malec. Inspired by the movie The Giant Mechanical Man. 

Notes: THIS IS SO ADORABLE AND SWEET. ONE IF MY FAVOURITES.

Harder Things to Say by Diabolus_Invictus [T, 1/1]
Following the events of 'City of Heavenly Fire’, Alec returns to Magnus’s apartment for the first time to figure out how this is going to work in the aftermath of… well, everything. 

Notes: This is such an amazing fic, it’s so good I consider it canon in my mind. HIGHLY RECOMMEND.

We’re Gonna Be Okay by Inrainbowz [K+, 1/1]
Isabelle observes Alec and Magnus and thinks that maybe, just maybe, everything will be fine. 

Notes: :“)))))))

Keep This Love in a Photograph by blushingkurt [K+, 1/1]
Magnus Bane, being immortal, had a hard time remembering things that have happened in his past. That’s why he turns to photography - to capture the more important aspects of his life so he can look back and remember them forever.

NotesThis is an amazing short fic, it’s a million times better than what the description says.

Frankly, Catarina by A_Graph_You_Look_At [K+, 1/1]
You are aware of the immense inequality in the dynamic of your relationship, aren’t you?”

NotesLovesick Magnus is one of the best Magnus’. Great fic.

Six Stages of Falling in Love by vulturemomen [T, 1/1]
Notes: This fic does not get enough credit. It’s so well written and beautiful.

They Go in Pairs by Inrainbowz [K+, 1/1]
All I want is the knowledge that I won’t ever have to chose between the two of you.“
Alec tries to understand the problem between Jace and Magnus. He is not asking them to be the best of friends, but he needs his boyfriend and his brother to get along a minimum.
 

Notes: A great fanfic. :)))))

Hold Onto Those by Inrainbowz [T, 1/1]

“Do you want to make a wish?” “Fuck off.” “Come on, it’s just a question. What would you wish for? If you could ask for anything.” “I would wish for this pain to disappear.” “Ah. A classic. My wish is to have the sentence "Be careful of what you wish for” tattooed on my forehead. But for now, it’s all about you.“

Notes: This fic doesnt get enough credit, and its so much more than the description. A take on post-CoLS

slow, steady and a little unusual by softlightwood [T, 1/1]

Isabelle blinks slowly.

"He kissed me, and i- i fell. Down the stairs”

Notes: tHIS IS SO CUTE, a take on the aftermath of malec’s first date, a little au-ish.

hold onto me by softlightwood [T, 1/1]

Is this the worst of it? Are you hurt anywhere else?" "I think I may have sprained my ankle” Magnus answers thoughtfully. “And my pride. But that’s the main source of the problem, I imagine”

Notes: Magnus gets hurt, Alec takes care of him :”) 

we’re good, we’re solid, we’re gold by softlightwood [K+, 1/1]

A rune comes to Clary in a dream. She knows exactly who it’s meant for.

Notes: If this doesn’t become canon, I’ll cry.

kiss me until the morning light by alicelightwoodbane [M, 1/1]

There are lots of different kisses.

Notes: post CoHF and adorable.   

Priorities by Pendragon2601 [M, 1/1] 

When Alec is badly injured after a routine patrol, Magnus is called to help save his life. Once he is cured, they then have a much needed talk about their prioities as parents. 

Notes: :”)

FAVOURITE SERIES’S

The Lightwood-Bane Chronicles by alecdvnpt
Three amazing stories following the life of the Lightwood-Bane’s. I would highly recommend this series, it’s so fluffy and adorable and great, I love it so much.

So that’s all! I’ll definitely add to the list when I come across, enjoy!

Special Instructions (1/?)

Summary: Drunk Emma really likes pizza. She also really happens to like the cute delivery guy who seems content to carry out all of her wishes via the “Special Instructions” box on the website.  (AO3)
Rating: M (eventually)
Word Count: ~1700

This has been burning a hole on my desktop for a couple months now and I just really felt like if I didn’t start posting it would probably never get finished… I’m a couple chapters in with the writing but I think this is going to end up being like between 10 and 15 chapters, all roughly the same length if I can pull it. We’ll see how that goes. Anyway, this was gonna just be like a cheesy smut fic originally but I apparently like to overthink things and it became slightly cuter of an idea…

@stubble-sandwich THANKS FOR LETTING ME GUSH ABOUT THIS STUPID IDEA WITH YOU. Look at me, finally posting the fuckin pizza guy au… christ…

Special instructions: pls make smiley face with pepperoni, i could use something happy right now

She’d typically have left the box blank but Emma was currently full of self-pity and a little too drunk to really care how she appeared to the rest of the world.

Two years she’d spent with Walsh. Two years of warm embraces and whispered I love you’s and sweet kisses and integrating him into her close-knit group of friends despite some heavy resistance – especially from David; she reminded herself to give her brother a hug later for trying – and for what? 

For him to just “reconnect” with his ex at what was supposed to be their engagement party?

“I’m so sorry, Em. I never meant to hurt you like this. It just… happened. I can’t help how I feel.”

She scoffed in disgust. What an asshole. A total prick.

She finished off her fifth – sixth? – bottle of beer and popped open another. Maybe after another few she’d forget the sight of him with his tongue down that other woman’s throat. Maybe she’d forget the shock and guilt on his face when she’d dropped her glass of champagne at seeing them together, stunned to see her betrothed blatantly cheating on her by the bathrooms while their party guests mulled about in the main room, completely clueless.

Keep reading

Killian, the Bail Bonds Assisting Barista

Happy Birthday @emmasfairytale! This isn’t exactly fluffy but it is a coffee shop au so I fulfilled one of those things! Ily angel and I hope you had a great day! ♡

He’s an unarguably good looking man and that pisses her off. A lot.

She hates when skips are good looking. Not because she’s worried she’ll find herself attracted to them; that’s never a problem for her. It bothers her because she knows the type: shitty person, blessed with naturally good looks, uses said good looks to manipulate women into ignoring their horrible personality and accepting their ugly behavior.

Knowing what this man did—beat up his girlfriend and get himself arrested for aggravated assault—she’s entirely certain that his good looks were what convinced the girl to be with him in the first place. With his light green eyes, tousled dark hair, and a nice smile, she can see just how a certain type of woman would fall for his total lack of any other positive attributes.

The longer she sits there, at the two person table in the corner of the coffee shop near her office, listening to this man try to charm his way into her pants, the more frustrated she gets.

She looks around, trying to focus on anything other than the man across from her lest she lose her temper too soon, and realizes how nice the place is. The skip had already been seated with two coffees when she arrived (red flag number 1, ordering for her) so she didn’t have much of a chance to examine the place other than the points of exit. It’s a simply decorated place, nothing too kitschy considering the fact that it’s named The Jolly. There’s a simple, long black board behind the counter displaying the menu, an array of black chairs and tables around the open space, and the only indication of a seafaring theme, a row of nautical mugs displayed across the counter.

A barista with bright blue eyes and a tray of coffee in his right hand passes their table and gives her an assessing look. She shrugs delicately and returns her attention to the idiot across from her.

The guy said he came to this place often so the barista probably just recognized him and wondered why she was here with him. He’ll find out soon enough. 

She’s ready to pull the trigger, her hand resting on the cuffs strapped to her leg beneath her flowing, a line dress, when the same barista walks by, tripping and spilling the entirety of a mug of coffee into the man’s lap.

Chris, the smarmy bastard, jumps out of his seat, toppling his chair over in the process. 

“What the hell, dude?” he shouts, shaking out the leg that received the brunt of the mess. “What the fuck kind of place are they running here that this shit happens?”

“I’m terribly sorry, sir,” the man says, not looking the least bit apologetic.

“You sure as hell should be!” he grunts, no longer as loud but still as forceful. 

“Here,” the barista offers, pulling a towel out of his back pocket.

Emma intercepts it.

“Let me help you,” she says with a coy grin. She gets out of her own seat and kneels next to Chris.

With one hand lightly dabbing his pants, she pulls the cuffs off her leg with the other. Mr. Macho Man is too busy being a smug bastard, grinning wildly to himself about the girl kneeling next to him and helping him dry off, to notice her actions.

“That’s a good loo—”

She cuts him off with the clank of the cuffs around his wrist before he can finish saying what she can only assume to be “that’s a good look for you.” And before he understands what’s happened, she’s got the other wrist trapped behind his back in the cuffs as well.

“Thank you,” she says to the barista standing dumbfounded next to her and ignores the indignant sputtering of the wet man in favor of his awed “No problem, lass.”

She marches the bail jumper out of the coffee shop with as little fanfare as possible. The man’s undeniably an idiot but he seems to have enough sense to realize what’s happening and how unlikely he is to get out of the situation.

It was a fairly easy catch, as far as these situations go and after getting rid of Chris Brown 2.0 she finds herself equal parts grateful and curious of the man who helped her. She heads back to the coffee shop with the intent to thank him. But when she walks in, he’s nowhere to be seen.

“Hi,” she greets the pretty, red headed girl, with a name tag reading Ariel, behind the counter, “I’m looking for the man who was working here earlier today.”

She looks confused for a moment then a look of realization dawns on her face.

“You must be talking about Killian! Dark hair, blue eyes?”

“Yes, is he here?”

“He’s gone for the day,” Ariel explains. “He actually wasn’t supposed to work but Ashley called off because her baby was sick so he had to come in.”

“Oh.” She tries not to obviously deflate but she is disappointed she won’t be able to thank him.

“Did you have a problem?” she asks, concerned.

“No. No, I just… he kind of unknowingly helped me out with catching a bail jumper earlier and I just wanted to give him a nice tip.”

“Oh! You’re her!” she exclaims, eyes widening in excitement. “Killian always says it’s improper for the owner to accept tips but I’m sure he’d like to talk to you. Let me go get him. He’s right upstairs!”

The girl doesn’t exactly run around the counter and through the door leading to what she assumes is the stairwell but she doesn’t walk either. And after a few moments of standing there awkwardly, Ariel reappears with who she now knows to be Killian.

“Ah, you’re back. Here to arrest anyone else?” he asks with a smirk and she notices that he as an accent.

“No, I just wanted to thank you for your help… and I was wondering if you did that on purpose.” He raises a brow. “You know, spilling the drink on him.”

“I did,” he says evenly, nodding his head.

“If you don’t mind me asking, why?”

He bares his teeth in what she can only call an unamused grin.

“He’s in here often enough that I know what he’s like. Peevish, rude, a terrible tipper. He went off on one of my baristas the other day when I wasn’t here. Probably would have banned him from the establishment if she didn’t insist on me not doing so. I noticed you looked uncomfortable so I just did the first thing that came to mind to help you out of the situation.”

“Mmm,” she hums, unsurprised at his description of him. “Maybe next time if a guy does something like that, ignore the baristas wishes and make sure he stays gone.”

His eyes widen slightly at her suggestion but otherwise, he doesn’t seem to disagree with her.

“As you wish.” And then after a brief pause, “Do you mind if I ask what he did to end up in cuffs being very nearly pushed out of my establishment?”

“He beat the shit out of his girlfriend and skipped bail.”

“And that would make you a bail bonds person?” he questions tilting his head to the side in a manner entirely too endearing. He got the phrasing right and everything so it’s a little hard for her to resists his charming mannerisms.

“Yup.”

“Terribly sorry if this is too forward, lass, but do bail bonds people enjoy coffee or do they have a different choice of beverage for dates?”

She should tell him she hates coffee and walk out. She already thanked him for his help. But there’s something appealing about him that she can’t quite pin down. Maybe it’s his stupidly good looks, maybe it’s the way he had enough sense to wish to ban an aggressive man from his place of business, or maybe it’s the way he spilt hot coffee down a man’s lap to help a woman that appeared to be in distress, and it could possibly just be his damn good coffee. So instead she surprises herself and doesn’t walk out.

“Most bail bonds people enjoy coffee, myself included, but what this bail bonds person really enjoys is hot chocolate.”

“Hot chocolate?”

“With cinnamon.”

“Aye, of course,” he says, grinning wildly and moving behind the counter.

“If you’re going to make me drink hot chocolate with you, then you’re going to tell me what made you chose the name, The Jolly,” she tells him with a grin she can’t stop from forming on her own face.

“I’m fairly certain I’ll be open to answering any questions you have.“

So, Tumblr thought it would be cool to eat my birthday post to my lovely friend and dark counterpart @optomisticgirl….which is actually super NOT cool. Anyway, I’m posting this a little late, but here it is! Happy day of birth, my Aries partner-in-crime! You are a lady, a scholar, and a wonderful human being.

A little classic literature and verbose Killian smut :) M-rated for certain.


“Well, that’s a long face if I’ve ever seen one,” Granny announced, leaning over the counter to snatch the empty hot chocolate mug. “What’s got you down, Sheriff?”

Lifting her frustrated eyes from the leatherbound book she’d borrowed from the library at Belle’s insistence, Emma attempted a casual smile before addressing the inquiry of the woman who owned the place. It was a rather half assed try, but what was the point in pretending all was well when it certainly was not? They’d been chasing their tails for days over how to put a stop to the Evil Queen’s most recent reign of terror, galavanting through a handful of untold stories until they landed on an author who was dreadfully familiar and the answer to all their problems - according to an odd inkling Henry had while thumbing through a newly discovered version of the storybook. If she’d known sending him with Killian to the author’s abandoned mansion in search of an alternate text would amount to her reading not one but four Shakespeare books - well, she definitely would have thought twice about needing more information.

The whole idea was starting to feel like ‘much ado about nothing’ - pun very much intended.

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Not So ‘Quick and Bracing’

Description: Killian sees his fiance making breakfast, and soon they hunger for more, which eventually leads to the shower… (Canon/scene divergence from the pancake scene of 6.18). 

Rating: E (because, reasons…)

Word Count: ~2600 

Author’s Note: I know, know…Everyone and their mom is doing this, but @killythecowardlypirate ask me to “do the thing,” and so…here’s my version. It’s a “what if Snow didn’t interrupt” version. And yes, Chantal, syrup is included… I mean, what’s pancakes without syrup, amirte? lol This is unbetad, because I just needed to get it out, and it’s twice as long as I intended it to be. Smut, humor and feels: just what you come to expect from yours truly! Enjoy!!


Killian quietly wrapped his arms around his fiancé as she flipped another pancake onto an already towering stack. He nuzzled her ear, his trimmed facial hair tickling her exposed appendage. “Something smells delicious,”  he whispered.

Emma smiled from ear to ear, the heat from Killian’s body radiating from behind her. “It’s just from a box…”

He practically growled as he responded, “I wasn’t talking about the pancakes..”

Emma turned swiftly in his arms, taking no time to lock his lips with her own. He must have recently brush his teeth, because she could still taste spearmint along his tongue. Her hand travelled from his scruffy chin, to his slightly exposed chest (he was in the middle of dressing himself and didn’t finish before walking down to the kitchen). After exploring each other’s mouth for what seemed like an eternity, she broke the contact, looking into his cobalt blue eyes.

She must have been staring far too long, because Killian broke her concentration, asking, “What?”

“I’m just…happy. Still surprises me sometimes.”

He just smiled. “Aye, love. Me, too.” Killian then leaned down for another kiss, this one more gentle than the previous one. As he lifted his lips from hers, he ask, “So, should I look forward to this every morning? My loving wife, dressed in naught but her black silk robe, making me breakfast?”

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I’m Sorry For Letting You Go

Hamwriters’ Write-a-thon: Lit Day (3)

Pairing: Daveed Diggs x Reader

Word Count: 4,657 (Am I extra, or what?)

Trigger Warnings: Character deaths, pining, angst CENTRAL (hang on guys, we’re going for a ride)

A/N: This is my favorite fic that I’ve written for the write-a-thon, so I hope y’all like it. It’s based on a book called Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro. I had to read it for school, and I absolutely love it. I definitely suggest reading it. (Forgive me for any errors, I just wanted to get this posted in time, haha.)

Originally posted by fuckyeahdaveeddiggs

The car was silent as you drove down a road that cut through the middle of a corn field. You were preparing to take Daveed back home after your less than great meeting with Madame Samantha. Neither of you spoke a word for a long time. How could you? How could you hold a conversation full of small talk when you both knew your time together was wearing thin?

“Can you pull over?”

You turned to look at his expressionless face. “What?”

“I’m sorry. I just need to get out.”

You analyzed him carefully before pulling over. He unbuckled his seatbelt and leapt out of the car before you had the chance to ask him what was wrong (besides the inevitable). You allowed him to pace in front of the car as you leaned forward, placing you head on your arms that were rested atop the steering wheel. You stared at your thighs with a grimace on your lips. Soon, there’d be nothing left of either of you.

That’s when you heard the first scream.

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World’s End

Dedicated to @lenfaz, inspired by the show Greek. (Andrew J West was in it! You should watch!)

Summary: “If it’s the end of the word, then I want to be with you.” (Captain Swan College AU)

Read on AO3.

World’s End


Graduation.

Emma was graduating college tomorrow. The black gown hung in her closet, shoved into the very back next to dresses that were no longer in style and shirts she no longer wore. If she couldn’t see it, Emma reasoned that maybe it wasn’t real. But it was. Tomorrow she would down that black cap and gown, cross the stage, and accept her diploma.

She’d stop being Emma Swan, College Student, and officially become Emma Swan, College Graduate. Cool, right?

Except not. Most people looked forward to college graduation. It represented four years of hard work, tears, and panic attacks – a sign that you were qualified to do something. But all Emma could do was envision it as the end. 

After eighteen years of bouncing from group home to home, Storybrooke College and its stability had become a refuge for Emma. She had finally found somewhere she could call home, and a group of people she could call family – and it was all going away.

Sure, all her friends had promised to keep in touch. That’s what everyone did. And they would, at first, they’d all try very hard. But eventually, conversations will trickle away as they all live their separate lives. It wouldn’t be like undergrad where Ruby could barge into Emma and Mary Margaret’s apartment with a bottle of tequila. Tuesday movie nights with the gang would be a thing of the past.

All because they wouldn’t be together.

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when you last left me my blood was in a jar | (1/1)

and you kept it on your mantlepiece

She must be doing something wrong that her son thinks the best way to go about proving his fairytale identity is to steal a sword. She must be doing something wrong to indulge this.

Given everything that Storybrooke and this storybook has thrown her way, it must be wrong that Killian being Captain Hook isn’t the worst option.

notes: love it when i’m just scrolling my dash, minding my own business, and a silly prompt shows up and my brain fires in the completely wrong direction where “MY KID SHOPLIFTED FROM YOUR STORE AND I MARCHED HER BACK HERE TO APOLOGIZE TO YOU AU” becomes nearly 6k of a s1 cursed hook au. anyways, glad that i apparently still know how to put words on a page in something resembling a story, hope you enjoy!

also on ao3


“Did you really think I wouldn’t notice the sword?”

“It’s not a sword,” Henry grumbles. There’s no masking the disappointment of a ten year old child, and Henry’s mastered the pout. Emma’s not falling for it today. There’s letting him join her for a cup of hot cocoa at the diner when he’s already late for getting…to Regina. But letting him pocket a -

“What is it then?” Emma asks.

Henry simply says, “A replica of Excalibur.”

“The Knights of the Round Table that hard up for money? Franchising a magic sword?”

Henry shakes his head, in that way he does where he sees her sarcasm as something to power through rather than acknowledge. He’s remarkably good at that, too, because when he replies, “No. Emma, you were supposed to read the book,” she actually feels guilty.

“Yeah…yeah, I did. Refresh me though?”

Henry sees her for a liar, liar pants on fire, but he’s mature enough not to say it and Emma’s immature enough to near smile when she looks up at the telephone wire above them.

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anonymous asked:

Do you think you could write a small blurb where you are a dancer you can take it anywhere you want I am just am in love in the way you write and I love dance particularly ballet and put both of them together would be amazing. So pretty please with a cherry on top 😁

Can we get a blurb on where you and harry have been secretly dating for a long time and you are ready to make it public? please :)


Originally posted by relationshipaims

I tried to explain to the security officer guarding the back door into The Met that I was Harry Styles and that my girlfriend was currently on stage dancing the lead in Le Corsaire.  But judging by the bored way he blinked and shifted on his feet, I gathered he didn’t much care.  I couldn’t blame him, he hardly looked like a man who listened to pop music.  

No one knew about it Emma and I.  Not our parents, not our friends, not our colleagues.  No one.

I was actually proud of how long we’d been able to keep it under wraps.  We were going on seven months now.  Seven months of back alley sneak-in’s and remote locations for vacations (and when I say remote, I mean off the grid, no one around for miles remote) and neither of us even whispering towards each other on social media.  TMZ was none the wiser.  My mother had an inkling something was up, but she never asked.  She was good that way.

But I was in love now.  This wasn’t just some fling or flash in the pan.  Emma was who I wanted to be with.  She was my match in every way and I didn’t want to hide that.  I shouldn’t have needed to.  My happiness was not a crime.

So after a long discussion a few nights ago where I prepared her for the onslaught of rude and nasty comments that would get lobbed her way when a certain faction of the One Direction fandom got wind that we were together, we agreed to go public.

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One-Time Memory

I wrote the smut I said I wouldn’t write oops. Also on AO3 and totally not the prequel to anything else I’ve written

“A one-time thing,” she tells him in the aftermath of their kiss. But it never is. (Neverland smut)

Rated M, obviously



“A one-time thing,” she tells him in the aftermath of their kiss.

She kisses him because he saved her father, because she feels good, because she has wanted to for quite some time – not that she wants to admit that part. But Henry is in danger, they are trapped on a dangerous island, and he is a pirate, and a hundred other reasons keep her from kissing him again.

She tells him that their kiss was a one-time thing for herself just as much as him, not that she wants to admit that part either.

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Tripping Over the Blue Line (3/45)

It’s a transition. That’s what Emma’s calling it. She’s transitioning from one team to another, from one coast to another and she’s definitely not worried. Nope. She’s fine. Really. She’s promised Mary Margaret ten times already. So she got fired. Whatever. She’s fine, ready to settle into life with the New York Rangers. She’s got a job to do. And she doesn’t care about Killian Jones, captain of the New York Rangers. At all.

He’s done. One more season and he’s a free agent and he’s out. It’s win or nothing for Killian. He’s going to win a Stanley Cup and then he’s going to stop being the face of the franchise and he’s going to go play for some other garbage team where his name won’t be used as puns in New York Post headlines. That’s the plan. And Emma Swan, director of New York Rangers community relations isn’t going to change that. At all.

They are both horrible liars.


Rating: Mature
Content Warnings: Swearing, eventual hockey-type violence
AN: Guys, I am constantly stunned by the response to this story and how absolutely delightful every single one of you continues to be. As always my eternal gratitude to @laurnorder, @beautiful-swan & @distant-rose for existing. 
Living on Ao3 & FF.net


“It’s nice to meet you too,” Emma said and she was a bit surprised to find that she actually meant it. He hadn’t let go of her hand.

Or maybe she hadn’t let go of his hand.

This had been a weird day. And Mary Margaret was nowhere to be seen, dragging David to, quite possibly, the other side of the restaurant so quickly that he might have actually stumbled over his shoes in the process.

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Harbor In the Tempest (2/5)

After an attack by the Lost Boys, Emma and Killian find themselves in an impossible situation. Canon divergence from 3x07.

@caprelloidea is an absolute goddess of a fic cheerleader.

Rating: T

Word Count: 4373

Chapter 1 | Chapter 3 |  Chapter 4

AO3 | ff.net


Emma’s face grows even paler, a feat he’d not thought possible, her lips pulled into a tight line.

He’s sure he looks much the same, his sudden realization having turned his veins to ice, his stomach twisting uncomfortably and his heart made of lead. He’s felt this before - on two separate occasions ( three , a traitorous voice in his head supplies, reminding him once again of how Liam was snatched back from the clutches of death only to succumb as soon as they thought they were free) - and the depth of it shakes him. She is not Milah. She is not Liam. And yet -

“What kind of poisons?” She interrupts his thoughts, biting off the words through clenched teeth.

He needs the acid in her tone to bring him back, to distract him even, but when he looks at her that familiar feeling once again lodges itself in his chest, tenterhooks that refuse to let go. “There’s at least a dozen I know of, and probably several dozen more that I don’t.”

“You said there was nothing on that arrow.” It’s not quite an accusation, but close enough.

“I said there was no Dreamshade on that arrow.” He picks it up once more, examining it. “Whatever was on it either stayed inside you or isn’t visible to human eyes.”

“Any ideas?” her voice wobbles on the words.

“Well, we can cross Dreamshade off the list.” He regrets the words the instant they leave his mouth, and her eyes grow hard when she hears them.

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Things Fall Apart (The Center Cannot Hold) 1/1

Rating: M

Summary: Learning each other’s strengths is easy. Learning each other’s weaknesses? Infinitely hard. Also, title credit to Yeats 

It seemed like a good idea at the time.

To be fair, most things that ended with Killian and sex tended to be good ideas.

(And led to orgasming until her fucking eyeballs popped.)

They weren’t shy with each other. While Emma may have the emotional maturity of a maple tree, she had never been afraid of her body. After her first fumblings in the back of the bug with Neal, she had gone through the works.

There had been the bartender in Miami with the huge dick and big dissapointment when it turned out he had no idea what to do with it other than insert tab a into tab b.

The mechanic somewhere bumfuck between Portland and Boston who went hard and fast against the wall until she had hissed a warning against leaving marks.

A beautiful brunette with endless curls, doe-eyes, and a mischievous red smile who ate her out until Emma went from suspecting to 100% sure she was a prostitute. She never asked.

There were blondes men and punk women and everything in between until Emma knew to simply flip them on their back, take what she needed, and make a clean getaway before the word ‘breakfast’ could be uttered.

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anonymous asked:

I cannot believe Jane of all people wrote Emma saying those things about Killian. Entirely ooc. And as soon as things got tough? As if offering to die to defeat the darkness wasn't tough?!

I disagree. I actually think Emma was very in-character.  It had only been like a day. Poor thing just had her greatest fear realized. She’s always been abandoned, ALWAYS, and now the person she loves most just left her. And it happened at a moment where she was already fragile and heartbroken after finding out about Hook killing her grandfather and finding out he didn’t trust her with the info and her putting a pause on their engagement.  Then when she heard he took off from a credible source (*shakes fist* LEROY!!!!) I don’t blame her for going to a dark place and not having the confidence to see through it right away. She was grief-stricken, strung out, and emotionally compromised. She is not thinking clearly. Her walls are snapping back up and she’s just trying to get through the day. 

Have you ever said something you didn’t mean fresh off of being hurt? In an attempt to protect yourself and stop the pain? If not you must be the only one in the world.

Give her a day or two and she would have started putting things together. Thankfully she got Killian’s message so we didn’t have to wait.. And notice how quickly she embraced it. Just hearing his voice changed everything. Brought down her walls. 

However, I do think Snow, Regina and Henry were pretty quick to give up on Hook. I mean they don’t have abandonment issues and are not the one who is heartbroken.  You’d think Snow, the queen of hope, might offer some… you know… hope!  A “Go after him, love is worth fighting for”  pep talk. Something. But, no, she just got drunk. 

And Regina, the savvy one, might be suspicious about the timing and the fact they live in Storybrooke and Emma is currently battling a psycho… but nope. Nothing occurred to her, instead she fell right into Gideon’s trap and helped him get what he needed. What a jackass.  

And Henry. HENRY. Good grief when Regina was heartbroken he marched to her house with a basket of wine and chocolate and forced her to let him in. With Emma… he’s just sitting on the couch, not doing a thing. Saying nothing.

However… while all of those things are aggravating and frustrating, they aren’t all that out of character.  Snow never pays that much attention to Emma’s needs and clearly was mired in her own issues this ep.  Regina is only savvy when it suits her and frankly she just got her heart broken, I think it’s in character for her to not try very hard to help someone else make up with their love. She probably likes the idea of Emma abandoned, misery loves company after all.  As far as Henry goes, he’s always coddled Regina, while taking Emma for granted.

So… all in all… in character. 

Breakfast for the Boys

Notes: Once again, gotta thank @welllpthisishappening for listening to be babble on about this drabble and others like in the works. Without her encouragement, I probably would do nothing with this. Anyway, no Beth or Wes in this one. Strictly Harrison and Captain Cobra. You can read on AO3 here: [LINK]

Summary: Killian meets Henry for breakfast at Granny’s sans Emma despite sleep deprivation brought on by his newly-teething son. He quickly discovers he isn’t the only fan of bacon and sleep-deprivation does not excuse oneself from being teased by their stepson.

Rating: T

Word Count: 3,900+


 When Killian had found out Emma was pregnant, he had been stunned and more than a little fearful. However, after the initial shock had worn off, he became excited; over the moon in fact. Never in his nearly two centuries of life did he ever really expect to be someone’s father. (There had been a brief glimmer of hope with Baelfire all those years ago but that dream had died almost as soon as it has been begun to form in his head. And sure, he had Henry, whom he adored and loved fiercely, but Killian would never dare to try and replace Baelfire. It would have been a disservice to the man who desired that title so fiercely. No, Killian was never going to be Henry’s father, but he was definitely going to try hardest to be the best stepfather he could be.)

Now that the babe had been born and had been dictating their lives for the past months, Killian was just tired. Constantly. After spending practically centuries captaining the Jolly with a limited sleep schedule, Killian had thought he had at least been prepared for this aspect of fatherhood. He hadn’t. Reality had sunk in quickly and ruthlessly when his son had arrived home. The days seemed to bleed into each other painfully with no end in sight for midnight, two o’clock, four o’clock and six o’clock cries for feedings, cuddles and diaper changes. The worst thing was that it hadn’t petered out over the months like all the parent books promised, much to his dismay. No, instead of sleeping more, his son was sleeping less now that his teeth had decided to come in early. Their sleep schedule was even more messed up now especially since new teeth were not as easy to placate as a nightly need to feed. Though Killian loved his son fiercely, the sleep deprivation was jarring and he felt more like a zombie than he did when he was actually dead.

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Gafou/Stanfou @ Prom

Imagine Gaston asks Lefou to prom

And Lefou, of course, accepts right away, spending forever trying to decide if he should wear his purple, pink, or red bow tie. He eventually settles on the pink one because Gaston told him once that pink brings out his eyes

So prom gets closer, and Gaston knows it’s going to be a wonderful night

It’s still a full week away, but he’s already prepared- corsage for Lefou, mint gum to make sure his breath is perfect for kissing, and of course- lottsa condoms to finally take Lefou’s virginity, something he’s been both nervous and excited about doing

But- oh no- Adam, student body president, boyfriend of the prettiest and smartest girl in school, and former emo!kid, pisses him off with his scathing sassy wit and makes him look dumb in class

Gaston picks a fight with him for hampering his ego, a fight they settle on the landing of the school roof after school 

Gaston being a clumsy ass motherfucker missteps, allowing Adam to punch him so hard he topples backward onto some rotten wood and… well…

Put up in the hospital, there’s no way Gaston can attend prom now

Lefou’s parents take a bajillion photos of him on the night of prom because he looks so dashing and handsome and cute!!!!! but he’s barely smiling in any of them… Gaston’s absence just ruins the entire magic of the night

But since he’s already bought his $85 ticket, he might as well go for the free buffet, so when he gets there, he just sits down at the table on his own and stuffs his face with macaroons that aren’t even that good

About halfway through the night, Stanley, a really cute genderfluid student Lefou had noticed a few times in the halls, comes up and asks for a slow dance

Stanley’s male presenting today and Lefou is taken aback by how amazing his suit with the embroidered flowers looks on him   

Lefou doesn’t know what to say… he’s not usually asked stuff like this- so Stanley just whisks him up

Belle and Adam cheer them on- they’re actually a super cute couple, and Lefou is getting lost in Stanley’s beautiful eyes and how well his feet move them…

Suddenly, the doors of the venue slam open, and in breaks Gaston, one good arm wheeling his poor, broken body in through the crowds. He’s got a neck brace, a sling, a cast on his foot, stitches across his nose, and an eye patch- but that doesn’t stop him from fucking plowing Stanley out of the way with his wheelchair, yanking Lefou down onto his lap with a grimace

“Did you just wheel fifteen blocks to get here?” Lefou gawks.

“Only ten,” Gaston admits, puffing out his chest, “I came from the hospital.”

All the girls gasp and swoon at how romantic and sweet that is, but Stanley balls his fists, ready to break the quarterback’s other arm for Lefou’s affections

Lefou’s torn- Gaston is basically his boyfriend, but Stanley… Stanley

Suddenly, that super extra French theatre kid and his stuffy English bff hijack the DJ Booth and start blasting Manage Es Trois by Alcazar. Gaston, Lefou, and Stanley are all pushed together to dance, and they end up actually having pretty good time with each other…

Even after they enjoy the evening, Stanley later “accidentally” pours a little punch in Gaston’s lap. I mean come on, he interrupted the most physical contact he’d had with a guy like, ever, Tom and Dick can attest to that

Stanley soon realizes that Gaston and Lefou are very into each other. He knows when to say when, but he knows his worth and knows someone else will come along one day who can love him back

At the end of the night, Lefou gets a kiss on the cheek from Stanley, thanking him for the dance. Then he leaves with Tom and Dick, off to attend an after prom house party, at Paulette’s no doubt

Lefou turns back around to find Gaston with an XX-L gold magnum Trojan packet between his teeth, smirking

Lefou looks his destroyed ass up and down, and scoffs

“I think I can wait… I don’t want to add a broken dick to your list of infirmities.”

Adam pays for a limo with a mini bar and everything for the two to apologize for maiming Gaston, and Belle makes lewd hand gestures their way, wink wink nudge nudge

The girl is far from as innocent as everyone thinks she is, tbh

They ride home, and share the sweetest kiss before Lefou gets out at his house

Gaston goes home that night feeling better than he did even after he won his first big game- cause he just won his best friend’s heart