do you like mudkips

((@ingthing​ and I had some fun with this, so I thought I’d post it for all the rest of you lawyer shippers to enjoy - tem))

Okay, so imagine that Phoenix and Miles like to go over case information together a few hours before the trial. They meet up, maybe in the courthouse library, early enough that there aren’t many people around. That way they can have some privacy. 

And one day the trial is at eight in the morning, so Miles meets Phoenix at six, maybe earlier – and it’s a little too early, turns out, because they end up accidentally falling asleep together in the library.

So everyone’s looking for the bloody lawyers, and Maya checks the library, and she finds these two fast asleep, side by side - Miles’s head resting on Phoenix’s shoulder - and they both just look so relaxed that’s she’s like ‘aw let them rest’ and leaves. The trial gets called off and rescheduled bc they didn’t show up.

Miles probably wakes up first like ‘nghoooh what’s this’ and just…he wants to storm off before Phoenix wakes up, but Phoenix just looks so peaceful like this, and :O 

And Miles is probably like HOW COULD I, A PROFESSIONAL, SLEEP THROUGH A CASE AND TOTALLY POSTPONE IT, while Phoenix is just like ‘lol whoops.’ Basically Phoenix is chill about it while Miles is a blushing mess who doesn’t forgive himself for the next month.

Phoenix, naturally, doesn’t get how shameful Miles thinks this is and so he’s just like ‘hey Miles remember that time in the courtroom library when we –’ and Miles cuts him off like ‘shut up Wright’

So naturally, whoever overhears them assumes that something shockingly indecent happened between these two in the library. Rumors spread like wildfire, and of course Maya just lets it happen despite knowing the truth 

And when it gets around to Miles, he’s absolutely appalled, and he issues an email to the entire office going:

‘ No indecent matters occurred in the Court Records archive at X time on X date.  Due to sleep deprivation, Mr Wright and I fell asleep while reviewing case information.  And thus, our morning court session was postponed due to our absence.’ and he leaves this lengthy apology underneath.

@gaylawyers @red-the-mudkip do you like

You Think I Do...What?

This a short but sweet story of my last experience at a con. During Megacon this year, I went cosplaying as Professor Birch from Pokemon Ruby and Sapphire. I was getting some nice compliments and a few pictures. I tend to go shopping for merch closer to the end of the day, so I’m not lugging around any unnecessary things over the course of time.

So the floor is close to closing up for the day, and I’m going around to all the different booths, looking at tshirts and whatnot. I end up at this booth that has a bunch of keychains in a light box display. I’m eyeing a bunch of the Pokemon keychains because they look really nice. The vendor was around 50, and yet was cosplaying as someone from Ouran High School Club (Houston, we have a problem). The costume looked absolutely soiled, and the wig was really terrible, like he bought it off eBay and said “it’ll do lol”. Now one of the components of my cosplay was that I had a Mudkip plush sitting on my right shoulder. He got my attention, and me, like some fool, went to him, expecting some kind of compliment, and oh boy, was I wrong. He said to me “so, Professor, do you like to get muddy with your Mudkip”, and grinned. I was completely baffled by this question. “Come again? You think I do…what?” I say to him. He repeats “do you get muddy with your mudkip?” It took me a second to realize what he was saying. But all of a sudden, it clicked: he was asking if I HAVE SEX WITH MY POKEMON. I was immediately like “no! No I would never do that!” And my face felt flushed and warm of embarrassment. He then continued, “oh ok, professor, at least you’re not like Brock, because he’s a breeder in two ways, if you know what I mean.” And proceeded to tell me his entire fan theory diatribe on how Brock has sex with Pokemon. So yeah, I was scarred for a little. Can’t wait for the next con, I guess.

Tl;dr: booth vendor asks me if I have sex with my Pokemon plushes and tries to convince me that Brock has sexual relationships with his Pokemon.