do you like green eggs and ham

Voice Ask Meme!

I think hearing people’s voices is really cool, but I haven’t found a voice meme I’m happy with, so I wanted to make my own! 

Here’s how the game is played: If you want to hear me do any of these, just send me the number(s) you want to hear and I’ll make an audio post! Include whatever specifics you’d like to hear me do in the ask - these are more guidelines than actual rules. Basically, it’s just like any other ask meme, only I speak the answers instead of typing them out!

1) Give an introduction! 

  • Put specifics in the ask

2) Read a poem!

  • Feel free to specify a poem in the ask

3) Read a passage from your favorite book or fanfiction. Alternatively, do a one-person-show of a scene from a movie or play. 

  • Feel free to suggest a passage or scene in the ask. If you want me to do a dramatic reading of Green Eggs and Ham, I will. 

4) Tell a joke. (Preferably a really bad one)

5) Tell a story from your childhood. 

  • Feel free to suggest a story in the ask, like asking me about the first time I did x, y, or z!

6) Tell me about the most exciting thing you’ve ever done or would like to do. 

7)  Tell two truths and a lie, so that people have to guess which is true. 

8) Give an instructions on how to preform a task of the asker’s choosing. 

  • Example: If the ask says “teach me how to dougie,” you must give vocal instructions on how to dougie. 

9) Can you record yourself speaking in different languages/accents?

10) Sing a song, if you dare!

  • Feel free to suggest a song in the ask! (If I don’t know the song, I might sing you something else instead, but I promise it will still be worth your while.)

Feel free to reblog so more people can play!

Amicitia Twins AU

 for  @gladiolus-mamacitia may the thirst never be quenched

Gladiolus and Aster Amicitia

  • So Gladio has the bird tattoos… But Aster has flowers and thorns all over.
  • You bet your bottom dollar that he has his family members’ flowers bunched up together on his heart.
  • Aster is more subtle on his own. He can match the energy and gregarious-ness of Gladiolus but he is a touch sweeter.
  • Ultimate sparring buddy for Gladio. Bring new panties each time you witness this duel of brawns because my god, you’ll be as wet as the sweat dripping down their abs whoops how did this become nsfw
  • Aster has piercings. Tongue, ears. But he likes the minimalistic stuff.
  • Is more sympathetic. don’t show him smol lizards, he’ll gasp and DENY IT DO IT SHOW HIM ALL THE LIZARDS
  • His favorite food is ramen. Not Cup Noodles like a certain heathen but fresh, noodles with a soft boiled eggs and green onions and ham. 
  • has a horrible but lovely sweet tooth, will buy so much candy its ridiculous.
  • where do you think Gladio learned to be so smooth? Baby Brother Aster had to do something while Gladio was being prepped for Shield duties. Well they co-learned but Aster learned a bit faster. Loves historical romance, shhh keep it a secret.
  • Aster is a member of the Kingsglaive. Best Friend is Nyx Ulric oh no now im sad
  • Loves music and gardening. Does Iris’ hair more often than Gladio. But they both love spoiling their sweet baby sis rotten <3
  • BIGGEST TEDDY BEAR ALIVE!!!!! BEST HUGS AND KISSESSSS!!! TAKES HIS SWEET TIME WITH EVERYTHINGGG <3
  • Makes the best cheesecake handsdown its just so gluttonous and delicious you cant help it
Niall-- Loss For Words

“Sounds like utter shit to me.”

My eyes narrowed at him from my end of the couch, my legs stretched out in between us as he rubbed at my feet.  “Watch your language, Horan,” I warned.  “We agreed that we both needed to stop swearing now before the baby was born so we wouldn’t have to adjust once she’s already talking and repeating everything we say.”

Niall rolled his eyes.  “Wouldn’t want her swearing straight out of the womb, would we?”  His tone was sarcastic.

I shifted, my hand rubbing over my swollen belly.  I was 24 weeks pregnant with our first baby, we had just found out she was a girl a few weeks ago, after several weeks of keeping her legs crossed so we couldn’t see.  “That’s not what I said, and you know it, Niall.  I just said that you should start talking to her; tell her stories or talk about your day.”

There was a short snort from the other end of the couch.  “You don’t actually think she can hear me through all of that?” he asked, nodded at my stomach.

My lips thinned as I just looked at him.  “Thanks, sweetie.  You know how to make a girl feel great about herself.”

He groaned, rubbing at his eyes.  “You know what I mean, pet.  She’s inside of you, she can’t hear much of anything even if her ears are working.”

“You do remember I have a degree in child development psychology, right?” I questioned and he grunted; his typical response this pregnancy when I reminded him I had become familiar with this process and how children developed from conception a long time before we even considered having a child.  “I promise you, she can hear us talking right now.  If not exactly at this moment, she will very, very soon.”

“Yeah, and how did you know that?”

“There have been studies done that show that babies can not only hear what is going on outside the womb, even if it is muted, but they also recognize the voices of the people they hear the most often,” I explained patiently.

Niall had just grunted and gone back to his TV show and that was the end of that until a few days later while we were making dinner.  Out of nowhere, he turned to me and asked, “These studies… How do they know the baby can hear ya?”

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Geez, He Looks Cute

Lafayette x Reader
Word Count: 2175
A/N: Just a mid-week pick me up for you, Sweethearts 💗

“Yes, your father is very brave, Amaury,” you said appreciatively as you tied the little boy’s shoes.

He rested his hand on the top of your head, probably messing it up, not that you minded. As a first grader, he wasn’t necessarily coordinated yet, and if it meant having frizzy hair to keep him upright, it was worth it. The poor boy was clumsy in nature, you’d be curious to know how he fares when he grows bigger.  

“He’s smart, too,” Amaury continued, “He helps be do my adding.”

You grinned, as you moved on to zipping up his jacket; “Oh yes,” you agreed, “Father’s are usually very smart.” Well, he can’t be TOO smart, since he is continuously late picking up his only child from school, but that’s not something you can say to a child who idolizes his father. That’s not something you could say to anybody, really.

“Are you sure you weren’t supposed to go home with a big kid?” You asked, pulling his hat on the top of his head. Occasionally, his father told Amaury to go home with Sammy, an older boy who lives right beside the Lafayette family. It’s happened more than once, you waiting with Amaury long after the final bell rang, because he had forgotten his father’s instructions.

“No,” the little boy replied, happily, “He’s going to pick me up. We’re going to eat some ice cream on our way home.”

You smiled, and he returned it with a toothless one of his own; “That sounds wonderful,” you grinned before standing up and peering out the window to see if the ever-late Gilbert was approaching the school, yet. No sign of him.

“I’ll tell you what,” you said, turning back around to face the little boy, who was looking at you expectantly, “Why don’t we read a book while we wait? Does that sound nice?”

Amaury nodded his head, enthusiastically, “Only if you’re reading it, Miss Y/L/N,” he said playfully, already making his way to the bookshelf.

You couldn’t help but chuckle, “Of course,” you agreed, following as he paved the way.

Naturally, he picked his favourite; Green Eggs and Ham. You’ve read this book more times than you could count; the thing with first graders is that as soon as one of them have a favourite, they all have a favourite. And their favourite book at the moment was Green Eggs and Ham.
For what felt like the hundredth time that week, you opened the Dr. Seuss book and began reading it, doing your best “Sam” voice. At this point, Sam was turning into your alter ego, you pretended to be him so frequently.

“And I do no like-“ you began, before there was a hurried knock on the classroom door.

“I am sorry I am late,” Gilbert said, his words rushed. You knew he was from France, and although English isn’t his first language he’s fluent; however, that didn’t prevent his over-pronunciation, making his ‘rushed’ sentences a little bit awkward.

“It’s my daddy!” Amaury exclaimed, getting up from his spot on the reading mat and running over to his father.

Gilbert picked his little man up and smiled at you, apologetically. “Hey, little guy,” he said, lifting his son into his arms. “Miss Y/L/N, I’m sorry to keep you waiting,” he apologized, sounding like he had ran all the way to your classroom from France. “I was held up in a meeting with my boss, I couldn’t get out of it. It won’t be happening again.”

You nodded your head in understanding; you were only kept fifteen or so minutes after school was out, which wasn’t too bad in the grand scheme of things. You’d hate for it to become even more of a habit than it already is, though.

“That’s alright, Gilbert,” you grinned with a soft sigh, “Oh, and Amaury, did you grab your adding and subtracting worksheet to take home?” You asked, the little guy, “I hear you’re very good at adding,” you said, this time to Gilbert.

He smiled bashfully as his son scurried out of his arms and ran over to his desk, “I almost forgot,” he muttered as he began pulling out his mess of papers, looking for his practice-worksheet.

“It’s not homework or anything,” you explained quietly as Amaury searched around, “It’s just incase he wants to practice. He’s actually very good at his math,” you shrugged.

“I am very glad,” Gilbert said with a sigh, “I have been a lot busier at work, taking on extra shifts, attending more meetings… I’m glad he’s not being affected by it too badly,” he continued, nearly sadly.

You nodded you head in understanding, “Oh, well, I think he’s doing just fine. But maybe if you don’t have the time to pick him up after school, your wife can pop in-“

“Oh no,” Gilbert intervened quickly, “Me and Marie, we are not… We are not with each other anymore.”

Your eyes widened, and you felt your cheeks heat up in embarrassment—how could you not know they were split? You usually know the parents of your students fairly well… “Oh, I’m so sorry,” you apologized quickly, “I just assumed—because she’s been here a quite a few times, and that student-led conference—I’m sorry, I didn’t realize…” You mumbled quickly, having far too many things to say and not nearly enough time to say them.

Gilbert chuckled, as Amaury began piling his papers back into his desk, “I found it,” he declared, re-organizing his little papers, quickly.

“That is okay, Miss Y/L/N,” Gilbert grinned, “It was a few years ago, now… We have joint custody, but we’ve been apart for years.”

“That’s too bad,” you replied, not really sure of what to say next. Luckily, Amaury re-joined you, his little worksheet in hand.

“Ready, dad!” He exclaimed, grabbing at his fathers hand. “Goodbye, Miss Y/L/N!”

You chuckled and waved to the little boy as he and his father left your classroom. “Goodbye Amaury, I’ll see you on Monday!”

***

After being told Amaury’s parents were split up, you began wondering why you hadn’t realized it sooner. The only time you had actually seen Gilbert and Marie together was during the student-led conference, and the parent-teacher conference. You couldn’t help but feel a little bit guilty.

“Now is daddy or mommy picking you up today?” You asked, zipping up the familiar blue winter jacket.

“Daddy,” Amaury answered, “Mom’s boss sent her away for a little while.”

You quirked an eyebrow; “Oh? Where did she get sent away to?” You asked, purely out of curiosity.

“I don’t remember,” Amaury answered simply, “She has to work. She’s coming home in four sleeps.”

You nodded you head, “I see,” you replied, tucking on his hat, “So it’s just you and daddy for the week, huh?” You grinned, “That’ll be fun.”

Amaury nodded his head, “Yeah, he says we’re going to have tonnes of fun; we’re going to eat pizza, we’re going to watch movies, we’re going to play—oh hi, dad,” he said, grinning over your shoulder to Gilbert, who was nearly on time today. Of course all the other kids were gone by now, but it was nothing compared to last week.

“Hey A,” Gilbert greeted his son, “Miss Y/L/N,” he smiled at you, giving you a curt nod of his head.

You smiled back, “Hello Gilbert,” you grinned, handing him his son’s backpack.

“Oh, you can call me Lafayette,” he said with a gentle smile, “Everybody else does.”

You nodded you head, “Lafayette,” you smiled, “Got it. And you don’t actually have to call me Miss Y/L/N; I’m Y/N.”

“Y/N,” Lafayette grinned, “Got it.”

***

For the next few weeks, you and Lafayette had these little meetings after school while he picked up Amaury. You thought it may be flirting, but that could easily be you just misinterpreting things. But just to make sure, you kept the small meetings to a minimum—you weren’t sure of his intentions with you, but you definitely thought he was attractive, and smart, and even though he was late picking him up most of the time, you knew he was a good father to Amaury. You didn’t really want anything to come from that, though; not only would it be unprofessional, but if it didn’t work out, you didn’t want Amaury to be affected by it at all. It was just trouble waiting to happen.

So on Friday morning, when Amaury was being dropped off, and Lafayette asked to speak with you quickly, besides your little bit of excitement, you felt panic. Pure panic.

“Oh,” you let out, “Well—well class with be starting soon,” you muttered, nearly incoherently.

Lafayette nodded his head, and let his shoulders slump the tiniest bit; “I know, I was just wondering—well, hoping, really, that you would like to… Go on a date with me… Tomorrow evening?” He asked hesitantly, his accent becoming thick with his nervousness.

Oh geez, he looked cute… You blinked a couple of times, a hundred thoughts running through your mind. Of course he was cute, and handsome, and funny, and he was DEFINITELY French. But was it morally acceptable to date your student’s father? Of course, Amaury wouldn’t know, unless it turned into something serious… He wouldn’t have a clue about anything… That makes it a bit better, doesn’t it?

“If you do not want to, I understand-“

“No,” you interrupted him quickly, before realizing how eager and probably scary you sounded, you grinned nervously, letting your shoulders slump; “It’s not that, I just… I would love to,” you answered, suddenly out of breath.

“Okay,” Lafayette responded, a dopy grin on his face, “I will text you, then,” he continued, “Can I have your, uh, your—“

“Oh!” You exclaimed, “Yeah, my phone number,” you chuckled nervously, before scurrying over to your desk, writing it quickly down on a sticky note, “Here you go,” you smiled, handing him the note.

“Perfect,” Lafayette smiled, “Have a good day, Miss Y/L/N,” he grinned, “I will see you later.”

You smiled brightly back at him, “Goodbye, Lafayette.”

***

“He talks about you a lot,” Lafayette admitted, his accent growing thick with every drink he took, “He really likes you.”

You couldn’t help but grin; “I’m glad,” you said honestly, “He’s a really sweet kid; a great student, too.”

Lafayette nodded his head, “Oh good; he could be a bit wild at home, I was kinda worried he was wild at school, too…”

“Oh, well he’s a little bit rowdy,” you giggled, “But he knows the limits.”

Lafayette had taken you out to dinner; when he was dropping you off, you realized you weren’t quite ready to say goodbye, yet. While you were on your date, you learned all about France, and all about his family, and home, and you weren’t quite sick of that adorable accent yet, so you invited him for a little drink. And here you were, laying on a blanket in your living room, beside Laf, a glass of wine sitting on the ground next to you.

“He talks about you a lot, too,” you mentioned, rolling onto your side so you could look at him; “He thinks you’re great.”

Lafayette smiled brightly as he, too, rolled onto his side. “And what do you think?” He asked, the smallest of smirks playing at his lips.

You fought to keep the blush from covering your cheeks, and even though you weren’t successful, you were grateful that Lafayette didn’t comment on it. “I think you’re fine,” you shrugged, grinning.

“Mm, just fine?” He teased, moving from laying on the blanket, to sitting.

You copied his motions, biting the inside of your bottom lip as you thought up a response; luckily, though, you didn’t have to. Lafayette spoke once again.

“Because I thought you were pretty amazing,” he said softly, “And I would really like to take you out again,” he said, substantially more confident than he is without any alcohol in his system.

You grinned, as you nodded your head, “I would like that, too,” you replied, looking down to your hands, fiddling with your fingers to avoid looking at the man sitting in front of you. Since when was a boy able to give you butterflies again? Didn’t you pass this stage in high school?

Lafayette chuckled, using his thumb and finger, he tilted your face up to look at him. He shook his head gently before leaning in to you, pressing his lips against your gently, giving you the chance to pull away if that’s what you wanted to do.

You definitely didn’t want to pull away. Using his hair, you pulled him closer to you, softly. You felt him smile into the kiss, making you grin, too.

“Lafayette?” You asked, hesitantly.

“Mhm?” He replied, pressing his lips against yours, pulling you into another kiss.

“I definitely think you’re better than ‘just fine.’“

Dean/Cas: Bright Star

Professor!Cas AU inspired by this post. 1.7K.

“Dr. Novak?” Dean calls quietly as he opens the office door. It’d normally be rude to walk in like this but he figures it’s an exception with Castiel.

The room is darkened save for the sunlight streaming in through the wrap-around window, and from the desk pushed up against the wall comes a low, warm voice. “Good afternoon, Dean.”

God, that voice. Dean blushes a little, then stammers, “Hey, thank you again for, um- For letting me make this up.”

“You’re welcome,” Castiel replies, and oh, so that’s what people meant when they said a smile could light up a room.

Okay, so maybe Dean’s got a crush but honestly, who wouldn’t after meeting the guy? With the gravel-rough voice and five o’clock shadow and nerdy ties that are always on backwards. He’s somehow hot and endearing all at once and Dean is basically a walking cliché.

To be fair, there were times when Dean felt like they could’ve been more in a parallel universe - one where they’re classmates, or childhood friends, or total strangers who meet on the street. Dean would have been infatuated either way and had something realistic to pin his hopes on.

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“Starstruck”

A/N: I don’t know what to do with this  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Summary: Reader’s rather horrible day takes a turn as she meets the two lead actors of her favorite show.

Characters: Jensen x College!Reader x Jared

Warnings: None

1030 Words


Originally posted by official-knight-of-hell


Your eyes shot open the second you heard your familiar alarm by Asia. You instantly turned it off and checked the time. You groaned, if you didn’t leave in ten minutes, you’d be late for your last exam.

Quickly, you got yourself ready and dressed and prayed that you won’t be late so you could write the exam that you’ve studied so hard for.

Thankfully, you weren’t late, but that didn’t stop the rest of the day from not going your way.

The moment you got back to your small apartment after finishing your last exam, you had decided to take a relaxing shower, only to find it was freezing.

Then you wanted to have some microwavable dinner, but the electricity went out.

You snapped when you couldn’t find your phone anywhere, you had promised a week ago that you’d call your mom today.

God, you hate Tuesdays.

You looked outside. It wasn’t dark yet, and since you had spent some time in the library earlier today, you’d figured that’s where you left your phone.


You walked in the library but stopped in your tracks at what you saw. A camera was pointed in your direction with a large crew behind it. You saw that the camera was filming two actors sitting at one of the tables, who looked like they were reading through books.

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spacegate  asked:

PROMPT. After the events of WAFF, Papyrus moonlights as a therapy....dragon? at the library, where children read books to him so they can practice speaking/reading and also have a badass dragon dog skeleton watching over them. Everyone is happy with this arrangement!

Yes, you guys keep giving me depressing prompts, time for some happy ones!

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goofy phrases the paladins have used in casual conversation at least once

  • what’s the haps chaps
  • what’s the story morning glory
  • real eyes realize real lies
  • ding dong, you are wrong
  • move, i’m gay
  • git gud
  • (about to do something mundane) WITNESS ME
  • “if you die in space you die in real life” 
    “well, you’re not wrong”
  • (forming voltron) this is my kitty cat, this is their kitty fat, it goes pat pat pat (voltron suckerpunches the bad guy)
  • space… the final frontier.
  • what the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little zarkon?
  • (referring to the food goo) i don’t like green eggs and ham
  • (someone enters the room)
    “it’s dat boi!!”
    “oh shit waddup!!”
  • (voltron does something awesome) that’s the cat’s meow
Either Way | Hoseok Smut

I’m so excited my first requested scenario is about the beautiful ball of sunshine that is Hoseok! I liked this request so much I sat down and finished it in one night. This is my first smut, so please go easy on this prude. XD Hope you enjoy <3

Part 2

Word Count: 3538 words

Genre: semi-angst, smut semi-fluff (so basically the big three) along with cursing and slight violence

Mafia!Hoseok

Originally posted by bangtannoonas

           A sigh escapes your lips as you tap your pencil against your notebook, struggling to keep your eyes open. There were a multitude of books open in front of you, turned to random pages as you tried to get your thoughts together for your seven-page essay on the traditional rise of the west narrative you had been reading within your Modern History class the past four weeks. You were desperate to keep your perfect 4.0, because honestly, that’s all you had going for you. Too shy to join any clubs or sports, you spent your days in the library, concentrated on your studies. Too timid to take on a leadership role within a club? You remedied that with taking a business course. Too quiet to join the only sorority on campus that did volunteer work? You fixed that by volunteering at the library to restock books and read to the preschool class that came occasionally.

Groaning, you dropped the pencil onto the table, and rubbed your face tiredly. Whenever you closed your eyes, all you saw was him. Jung Hoseok. His smile could turn anyone’s day around, and that’s exactly what he did for you. Whenever you had stayed up too late studying and showed up to university ready to collapse from exhaustion, all you had to do was hear him laugh or see his bright smile and you would be wide awake, praying that you got to see or hear him again. His goofy antics and his loud, simply happy voice was the highlight of your day.

You remembered the first time you talked to the perfect junior. You had taken a few advanced courses this year, putting you one year ahead, which meant you were in his year. Though you shared History of Compositions with one another, you had never talked to him before. You had slowly fallen for the larger than life boy who sat four rows over, and two desks in front of you. No; the first time you talked to him was in the library, while you were trying to read to the preschoolers who had come for their monthly trip.

You had just finished asking the kids which story they wanted to hear. After you decided the majority wanted The Rainbow Fish, you saw him. He had a pink book in his hand, standing halfway down a row in the kid’s section, seeming to contemplate it. His dark brown hair that usually was left to flop over his forehead was pushed back under a backwards baseball cap. You swallowed nervously as you watched his perfectly pink lips mouth the title of the book, and you quickly looked back down at the kids in front of you, who were eagerly waiting for story time to start.

You quickly willed yourself to forget about his presence, reminding yourself that he probably wouldn’t even look over here, and if he did, it’s not like he knew who you were. The book went by slowly, the kids (for the most part) listening attentively unless you reached a part that caused the kids to make noises of sympathy or laughter. Once you finished, the teacher came over to collect them after they thanked you. One little girl came up and hugged you, and you smiled down at her and said you looked forward to seeing them next time. Once the kids dispersed, you looked up to see Hoseok leaning against one of ends of the rows of bookcases, the little kid’s book still in his hand. He was looking straight at you, a small smile gracing his blemish free visage. You quickly averted your gaze, feeling your skin heat up, and you decided to focus on straightening up what the kids had messed up.

“Hey.” His light voice came suddenly, startling you out of your thoughts. You straightened after rearranging a few books, turning to him with a small smile on your face.

“Can I help you with something?” You questioned, trying to keep your voice as light as his, thanking God you didn’t stutter. He looked surprised by your question, but smiled nonetheless.

“Oh, I don’t think so.” He answered, shrugging slightly. “You’re in my composition class right?”

It was your turn to return his surprised expression. “Yeah, I am.”

“I’m Hoseok. What’s your name?” I know, you thought to yourself. His smile widened and he tilted his head to the side slightly. God, why does he have to be so cute?

“I’m Y/N.” You answered, bowing slightly in greeting. He returned it pleasantly.

“So do you volunteer here? To read to children?” You didn’t know why he wanted to talk to you, but there was no way you were going to pass up talking to the one person who could light up an entire room with just his dazzling smile.

“I do, every Friday and Saturday.” You looked down to avoid blushing when you noticed his smile made his eyes crinkle in the corners. You finally noticed the book in his hands was for Barbie. “Do you have a little sister?”

This time, his skin turned a bright pink, but he laughed it off. “No, it’s for my children’s art class. We’re supposed to write about a children’s author, but… I’m kind of lost on who to choose.”

“I would recommend Dr. Seuss.” You turned to pluck Green Eggs and Ham off of the “Favorites” section you were standing near. “You’ll probably find his life a lot more interesting than Barbie’s creator.”

 

You remember that day like it just happened. It had been three weeks since then. Ever since that day, he would enter the class you two had together, and sent you a smile and a wave. For the first few days, you were too embarrassed to acknowledge him, and ended up ducking your head whenever he walked in. After the first week, you started to return his smile with a shy one of your own, and you didn’t miss how his smile turned into a grin when you did so.

Beyond that, nothing had happened. You saw him in the library occasionally, but he never saw you. You told yourself you were fine with it, but deep inside you felt a tinge of disappointment. You had been really looking forward to talking to him again. Your best friend had told you that there was nothing stopping you from going up to talk to him-she reminded you constantly that everyone she’s ever talked to about you said you were the sweetest girl. She tried telling you Hoseok would think of you the same way, but your timidness got in the way of you approaching the boy you were hardcore crushing on.

Midnight rolled around, and you finally decided you should probably head home. Since you were a sophomore, you opted to get yourself a little apartment a few blocks outside of campus. You wanted to be far enough away from campus to be away from the kids who focused more on partying than studying, but close enough so you could walk since you didn’t have a car. After you packed up your things, you slung your heavy bag over your shoulder and made your way to the library entrance. The older woman who ran the night shift looked up and smiled.

“Good night, sleep well.” You told her, returning the smile.

“Good night sweetie, good luck on your essay.” She responded, and you waved as you exited the building. The cold air hits you hard, so you zip up the hoodie you were wearing and shove your hands into the pockets, setting a brisk pace for your cozy apartment. The university shuttles stopped running hours ago, and though you could take the public bus, walking from your home to classes and back was all the exercise you got during the day.

As you walked, your mind turned to random things. It was your friend’s birthday next week, so you noted you should stop by the market on your way home from volunteering tomorrow to buy things to make her favorite cupcakes. You could have groaned at realizing the exam you had at the end of the month in your pointless business class, if you didn’t hear one. You froze, hearing angry, low voices ahead. You slid along the wall, not really knowing what to expect. The place outside the university wasn’t the best of places, like many other universities. Despite this fact, you had never witnessed any crimes on your way home.

“Where the fuck is our money, huh?” As you got closer, the voices got clearer. This was the only way you knew you could take home, so you had to pass the entrance of the ally quickly to avoid being seen. Your morals told you you should call the police, but the fear gripping you was telling you just to duck your head and pass on as fast as possible. You did neither of these things.

Peaking your head around the corner, you saw three men standing around a crippled figure leaning against the wall for support. A dark haired boy you couldn’t fully make out was holding a metal bat, and the guy leaning against the wall was gripping his stomach and groaning in pain. He must have hit him. The dark haired boy was turned away from you, while another boy wore a baseball cap pulled down to conceal his features. The last one didn’t wear anything to conceal his face, but you didn’t recognize him.

“Please!” The man gasped out, collapsing onto the concrete floor. “I don’t have it; I just need a little more time!”

The man you could see clearly rolled his eyes, fed up with the man in front of him. “Unfortunately for you, boss wants it tonight. It’s either your money or you.”

The next few things seemed to happen in slow motion. He pulled a sleek black gun from the waistband of his pants, and before you could stop yourself, you gasped. They all turned to you, and what you saw had your blood freezing in your veins. The dark haired man was wearing a black face mask, but that didn’t stop you from recognizing him. Hoseok.

“Someone fucking grab her!” The man wearing the hat hissed, and those four words had you running in the direction of your apartment as fast as you could carry yourself. You heard metal hit the concrete, and knew Hoseok was the one in pursuit of you. You groaned, trying to shrug off your backpack as you ran, so you could lose the extra weight slowing you down. However, this idea was short lived as you felt a hand clamp around your arm, tugging you violently to a stop. You were pulled back into a chest, his hand letting go of your arm to wrap it around your waist firmly. You opened your mouth to scream, but his hand came up to cover your mouth tightly.

“Shh!” Hoseok hissed, his mask now hanging around his neck. There were faint lines where it had been before, but other than that his face was as perfect as always. You looked up at him with eyes wide in fear, but as his tongue darted out to wet his lips, you felt something stir inside of you. “Do you want those guys to come and help me? I can assure you you don’t. If they know I’m not going to hurt you they would come and do it themselves. If you stay quiet I’ll take my hand away, okay?”

“What the fudge Hoseok?” You whispered. Hoseok found himself smiling, amused by your cute way of avoiding cursing at him, even though he knew he deserved it.

“Just…” He sighed, shaking his head. “Let me walk you home. It’s not safe out.”

Despite the situation, you found yourself holding back a laugh. You had just found him and his friends beating the crap out of some guy, and yet you weren’t crying pleading for him to leave you alone. “You don’t say.”

He cracked a grin at your comment, before turning you back in the direction you were running. His hand rested on the small of your back as you led him in the direction of his apartment. Your felt your body heat up when his hand touched your back, and you groaned in your head. Even though your mind was telling you he was dangerous and you shouldn’t associate with someone like him, your body was telling you he was fine as hell and that you should definitely associate with him.

The walk to your apartment was oddly quiet. Hoseok was a naturally talkative person, so you were surprised that he didn’t try to talk to you about compositions or how his essay on Seuss went or even talk about the friends he had left back there. You were silent not only because you were at a loss on what to say, but also because you were fighting back your hormones. Though you were attracted to the cute, happy Hoseok you saw in class every day, the dangerous, dark Hoseok you saw tonight was somehow a major turn on.

Once you made it to your apartment you jabbed your key into the keyhole, trying to control the shaking of your hand. Hoseok wrapped his hand over your own and turned the key, unlocking the door. He pushed it in, his other hand not leaving your back. You looked up at him questioningly, but he just pushed you gently inside. You shuffled in, unzipping your hoodie and throwing it on the couch in the living room, not really knowing why Hoseok was following you in. Was he going to go back on what he said and threaten you? Would he actually try to hurt you-

You were pulled from your thoughts as the door behind you slammed shut, and Hoseok’s warm, wet lips were suddenly pressed firmly to your own, and he was pushing you up against a wall. You moaned out in surprise, every dirty little day dream you had dreamed up in class seeming to come true. He slipped his tongue into your mouth when you moaned. There was no fighting for dominance, because Hoseok immediately demanded it, his tongue massaging and rolling against your own as he took control of your mouth.

“God, I’ve wanted to do that since the first day of classes.” His lips brushed against yours once after he pulled away abruptly, before he was pulling away completely to lift your shirt off of your body. “You always looked so fucking innocent, your face shoved in a book and your cute little skirts… I had a hard-on every time I saw you for the first couple of weeks before I learned to control myself.”

Your shirt was gone, and next he was at the clasp of your bra. He pressed his lips to your jaw, murmuring, “I never made a move because I didn’t want to drag you into this shit. But fuck, if I knew you were going to walk into our business tonight I would have done this a long time ago.”

When his hands pulled away your bra and grasped roughly at your breasts, you finally stirred into action. One hand went to his hair, gripping it lightly as you pulling him in to kiss him desperately. He groaned against your lips, reveling in the feel of your soft skin. His fingers pinched at your now full erect nipples, and you gasped before he rubbed the pads of his thumbs over them. Pleasure was already spiking through your body, traveling down to your core. Suddenly you were pushing his hands away so you could pull of his shirt, and once it was gone his mouth was attached to your neck, sucking and nibbling at your skin. Your head tilted back, your eyes shutting as your hands ran up and down his chest, feeling the planes of his skin and the indentations that marked where his abs were. God, you had wanted this for so long.

You pushed him away, dropping to your knees in front of him. Your hands made quick work of his belt, and you popped the button in his pants before Hoseok was shoving both his pants and his boxers down. His cock sprung free from its confines, already more than halfway hard, a drop of pre-cum seeping from its tip. You wrapped one hand around its base, causing Hoseok to hiss. You looked up at him to see him looking down at you, his eyes half open, and you slowly licked his tip. His eyes closed and his head fell back, so you unhurriedly sucked the entire head into your mouth. You sucked more of him into your mouth, your lips covering your teeth as you slid his length farther into your mouth. You pulled back, starting to bob your head up and down his cock as he let out a groan. One hand went to fist your hair, helping guide you up and down his length at a pace that pleased him. He hips started to buck into your mouth, and once you felt him hit the back of your throat, you pressed your tongue firmly to the underside of his cock.

“Fuck.” Hoseok hissed, his hand tightening in your hair as he gently pulled you up from his length. You felt yourself drip onto your panties as you got back onto your feet, his wrecked expression doing terrible things to you. “I thought you were a good girl, baby.”

“I’ve only been with one man.” He was nothing compared to you.

“And I’ll be your last man.” He groaned, before bringing you in for a heated kiss. You moaned into it, not believing how fast you were turned on by just his words. His hands went down to pop open the button on your pants, before he just pushed them down. You kicked them away, wrapping your arms around Hoseok’s neck as he once again dominated the kiss. The palm of his hand was suddenly pressing against the apex of your legs, rubbing back and forth in a way that had you pulling from his lips to gasp. His fingers dug into your center, and you pressed your thighs together in need. Your hips started to rut against his hand and he smiled, ghosting his lips up and down your jaw.

“What do you want me to do to you, baby?” He asked, taking his hand away to push your panties down. You kicked the away like you did with your pants, this time a blush taking over your features. His hand returned to your center, rubbing over your clit with a finger slowly, but filled with pressure.

“I-” Your throat went dry and you looked away, trying to fight the moan that was threatening to tear through your throat. Hoseok grinned, placing a finger under your jaw, pushing up so you were looking up at him while his finger sunk deeper down.

“Come on, Y/N.” He coaxed, one finger suddenly pushing its way through your folds, entering your heat. He pumped his finger in and out lazily. “You’re so fucking wet for me. When you’re this wet, what do you want me to do?”

“Fuck me.” The words slipped their way through your lips, quiet and mumbled but he still heard. He pressed his lips to yours again, silently reveling in the fact he got his sweet little girl to say such a naughty thing, before pulling his hand from your heat, his hands gripping your hips as he lifted you up and pressed you against the wall. Your legs wrapped around his waist quickly, your body completely ready for him. One of his hands left your hip to grip his cock, rubbing it against your folds. You moaned loudly into his mouth, one hand going to grip his hair tightly again while the other dug into the back of his shoulder. He continued the torturous rubbing for a minute, letting it sink down to your entrance before he pulled himself back up to rub your wetness over his clit.

He sank into you suddenly, causing you to break away from his sinful mouth and let out a gasp that quickly turned into a high-pitched moan. Hoseok leaned forward to capture your lips with his once more, swallowing any further sounds you made as he thrust his hips into you. Every few seconds he gained in speed, his hips slapping into yours roughly, his grip on your hips bound to leave bruises. He felt so good, and your muscles clenched around him every time he pushed himself fully in. The sounds of wet skin hitting wet skin would be enough for a sailor to blush. You clenched around his length, making him hiss as his thrusts turned sloppy. Your orgasm hit you so suddenly your back arched to its limit, your head falling back as you chanted his name. His hit just a few thrusts after, him stilling inside of you as long ropes of cum spurt into your heat.

He held you against the wall for a minute, his head resting against your shoulder. His grip had lessened considerably, and though you knew where he had gripped you would hurt in the morning, you couldn’t bring yourself to care. He pulled out of you after a minute, and before you could unwrap your legs from his waist, he was carrying away from the wall, his arms slipping around your back to support you. He found your room easily, and managed to pull back the blankets before he set you down on top of the bed. You laid back, your breathing still heavy. He squeezed in next to you and pulled the blankets over your bodies. He pulled you back into his body, wrapping one arm around your torso as he buried his face in your hair.

Happy Hobi or dangerous Hoseok, it didn’t matter. You would take him any way he came.

The Signs as Kylee Henke quotes
  • Aries: "Do you want someone to draw your OCs?! Do you want someone to draw your OCs MAKING OUT?! Do you want someone to draw your OCs making out WITH CHARACTERS THAT DON'T EVEN BELONG TO YOU?!"
  • Taurus: "AHHH, SO MUCH ART, I'M GONNA SHOVE IT UP MY ASS!"
  • Gemini: "I do not like Green Eggs and Ham. I do not like Freddy. I do not like Freddy's pizza. I hate all of you. Five Nights at Fuckboy's."
  • Cancer: "'Kylee Henke. The Girl of fanart characters. kylee love his friend. of adventure. kylee...is the fanart.' -soft laughter- Oh, no..."
  • Leo: "We're having an orgy, while on fire. Now, that's hot. -Loud honking laughter-"
  • Virgo: "I ate so much fucking shit on the Fourth of July. I said I wouldn't, but then I did. And then I totally fucked up my diet, and now I'm paying for it by working out in a hundred fucking degree weather. I hate my fucking life. I hate myself SO MUCH. WHY THE FUCK DID I DO THAT?! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAA! WORK BITCH!"
  • Libra: "GET THING. FOR THE LOW PRICE OF MONEY! I WARNED YOU ABOUT THESE COMMISSIONS, BRO! ART THAT'S BETTER THAN A SEX!"
  • Scorpio: "Yiffs can be exchanged for goods and services. Is yiffs what they give at this pizza joint instead of, like, tickets? You know, on game machines, that you can exchange for prizes?"
  • Sagittarius: "Please, please, Bread Gods! Let me toast myself!"
  • Capricorn: -Demonic Zoobe bunny laughter-
  • Aquarius: "Gotta watch the goddamn door, Garry. That's your only job, Garry! YOU HAD ONE JOB, GARRY! You fucked up, Garry."
  • Pisces: "HOOOOOOOOOOO, GET WRECKED! HOOOOOOOOOOOOO, GET WRECKED! YEAH, YOU RUN, YOU LITTLE BITCH! AHHHHHHHHHHH! YEAHHHHH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

anonymous asked:

Would you eat green eggs and ham?

“Green eggs and… If these items are green they are either rotting or dyed and uh… I don’t want my mouth green and I don’t wanna get sick either. I would not eat green eggs and ham. I would not like them here or there, I would not like them anywhere. I do not like green eggs and ham, I do not like them mysterious man.”

Ok but I’m high rn and I thought of a good idea as like an asexual chant or something but it’s like green eggs and ham

I would not like to fuck you here or there
I would not like to fuck you anywhere
I do not like to fuck
I am who I am

I do not like to fuck in a house
I do not like to fuck with a mouse
I do not like to fuck
Here or there
I do not like to to fuck anywhere

I am Ham
Ham I am

May I fight in the war, goddamn?
I do not agree, Ham-I-Am
I do not like you fighting, my fam


May I fight in the South?
May I lead in Monmouth?


You will not fight in the South
You will not lead in Monmouth
I do not agree, Ham-I-Am
I do not like you fighting, my fam


I’ll be great, you’ll see
I have three whole friends with me


You will fuck up, listen to me
I was once akin to thee
You will not fight in the South
You will not lead in Monmouth
I do not agree, Ham-I-Am
I do not like you fighting, my fam


A war! A war!
I wished for a war!
Now may I
Command the corps?


Not in this war! Not our armed corps!
Not in the South
Not in Monmouth
I do not agree, Ham-I-Am
I do not like you fighting, my fam.


CALL ME FAM
ONCE MORE GODDAMN!


I do not like you fighting, my fam,
Go home, Ham-I-Am.

—  Green Eggs and Hamilton by Amo
I Thought You Were MY Daddy

Requests:

Ok, I read your Andy fanfic so can I have one with Patrick but the kid is like 10, and you were doing the ‘daddydom’ thing???

More Brendon smut because holy shit ❤️❤️ but it needs to be the kinky Call me Daddy side of brendon please

I really need some Brendon smut

A/N I decided to make this one for all these requests. I did ask the person who wrote the first request if it would be ok for me to use it with Brendon instead and they said yes so don’t worry.

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Keep reading

If someone with a mental illness is talking about how chronically bored or empty they feel and you respond by telling them to just go do something:
(1) you are not understanding
(2) you are not helping at all

blackhorseandthecherrytree  asked:

I am Sam. Sam-I-Am. That Sam-I-am! That Sam-I-am! I do not like that Sam-I-am! Do you like green eggs and ham? I do not like them, Sam-I-am. I do not like green eggs and ham. Would you like them here or there? I would not like them here or there. I would not like them anywhere. I do not like green eggs and ham. I do not like them, Sam-I-am. Would you like them in a house? Would you like them with a mouse? I do not like them in a house. I do not like them with a mouse.

Always go a house. What’s the house? What is sam? What is the ham?

Out-Of-Body Experience - Sebastian Stan x Reader

Anonymous said: Can you do number 11 with Sebastian please?

011) “You need to wake up because I can’t do this without you.”

It was the weirdest sensation, indescribable and inexplicable. You couldn’t actually believe what was happening, yet it was, or maybe this was a dream, but how could you dream something in such detail? You were there in your hospital bed, and yet you were also stood next to the hospital bed, watching as you slept.

The hospital room is as devoid of beauty as you are of hope. Its walls are simply cream, not peeling or dirty, just cream. There is no decoration at all except beside your bedside where an array of flowers had been placed, you guessed they were all from Sebastian because he knew how much you hated hospitals. Limp curtains separated your bed from the three others there. The curtains were perhaps once the kind of green that reminded people of spring-time and hope, but it’s faded so much that the hue is insipid. The room has an undertone of bleach and the floor is simply grey. At the far end are windows in brown metal frames, only openable at the top. Everyone else in the room mirrored how your body was, they were sleeping to pass the time, though one or two visitors seemed to be staring at nothing at all just to pass the time. There are stands for intravenous drips and monitors. At the door are dispensers for rubber gloves, hand sanitizer and soap; these items only reinforced your fear of germs, they are so ubiquitous here that cleaning is mandatory every time a doorway is passed or a patient is touched. But maybe the nurses will forget, or not wash properly, then what? Will you get even sicker, could it possibly even get any worse than being in a coma after a car crash?

Maybe this out of body experience was actually a sickness, god you hated this.

A sound at the end of the hallway alerted you and you watched as Seb entered the room. He looked tired, and pale. “Oh my god,” you gasped, walking closer to him. You’d already realised that he wouldn’t be able to hear or see you, but that didn’t stop your natural inclination to be as close to Sebastian as you could. “Why the hell isn’t he in a hospital bed, he looks more sick than I do!” You yelled out to no one in particular.

“Hey,” he hummed as he sat down beside your bed, taking off the backpack he’d brought with him and then reaching out so he could hold your hand in his.

“Hi,” you replied, sitting on the end of the bed. You didn’t mind crushing your own feet, it was weird though, knowing that something was physically touching you but not being able to actually feel it. Especially now, when you’d do anything to feel Seb’s hand in yours for just a second.

He seemed to take a moment for himself to take you in, but you really didn’t enjoy that seen as you looked like you’d been in a car crash. Which you actually had been. Cuts and bruises covered your face and you had no doubt it mirrored the rest of your body. “I brought you some stuff from home that I thought you might like,” he began, releasing your hand so that he could go through the backpack.

“Oh that’s so sweet of you, please tell me you brought our teddy though?”

Just as you said that he took out the fluffiest white polar bear teddy and placed it by your side. The teddy had been won at a fun fair years back, though you had won it, Seb insisted that you share the parental duties of the teddy bear and so it soon became like a child to the both of you. It always slept in the bed as well.

The next item he brought out was a book, your favourite one of course. “I thought I could read you this, you always did love Green Eggs and Ham and I don’t know, the rhymes might drag you from wherever you’ve gone.”

“I’m literally right in front of you,” you were trying to be sassy but it was hard to keep the sadness from your voice. He just looked so done with everything, like he’d lost the will to live. And the fact that it was your fault made you feel even worse.

“Next I brought some food in case you wake up and I’m not here when you do, because I know you won’t eat any of the hospital food. I’ll hide it in the bedside drawer for you.” He looked around him before hiding the food away. “And lastly, I brought a picture of me.”

You laughed loudly, feeling much more pleased by the fact that no one could see or hear you as that meant there was no judgement on the way you snorted. The picture he’d brought was the one that you kept on your phone as a lockscreen, it was him topless and covered in oil. Seb absolutely hated it, but you suppose he was being a little more sympathetic now that you were in a coma.

Once that was placed down facing your body he returned to taking your hand into both of his, he opened up your palm and began to write letters on it. “I talked to your parents, they want to come down but they have to find someone to look after the dog.”

“Fair enough, I doubt the hospital would really like Bobby coming in. He gets way too excitable and chews everything, he’d probably end up chewing a needle.” You’d leaned back on the bed so that you rested on your elbows. In your mind you figured that a one sided conversation would be better than not being able to even see Sebastian, you weren’t sure how long this out of body experience would last and so you’d like to take full advantage while you could.

“The cast send their best wishes, they all wanted to come today but I’ve had a hard enough time getting in myself seen as we’re not married.” He frowned and sent a swift glare towards the door, then he turned back to you and his hand squeezed tighter around yours. “I swear to god Y/N once you wake up we are getting married, I don’t ever want anyone telling me I can’t see you when you’re in this condition again.”

“I’m so sorry,” you reached out to soothe him but quickly recoiled after remembering that your touch would have no effect. So instead you resorted to also sending a glare at the door, maybe one of the nurses would get chills and feel like they are being watched by a ghost.

“You will wake up, won’t you?” He leaned forward and began to press your hand against his lips, he was trying so hard not to break down and cry. “You need to wake up because I can’t do this without you.” He confessed, now using your hand to cover his eyes. Though you still couldn’t feel anything, it was obvious he’d begun to cry.

His tears coaxed you to get off the bed and embrace him, he didn’t feel you and you didn’t really feel him. You just knew that you were suppose to feel him and therefore your mind filled in the blanks, “of course I’m going to wake up. How dare you even suggest that I’d leave you, you’re my Sexy Sea Bass.” Though you were trying to remain light hearted the tears that had probably always been behind your eyes began to exit through your eyes, except they didn’t fall down your cheek. Instead they fell down your bodies cheek.

It took him a moment Seb also noticed this and he released an audible gasp as soon as he saw it, “Y/N?! Oh my god, Y/N?!”

“Sir, can you please quiet down.” A nurse abruptly walked in, ruining the very emotional moment for both you and Sebastian.

He stood up and pointed at your face, “she can hear me, she heard what I said and started crying.” The nurse looked between your body and Sebastian before turning around and mumbling something about going to get a proper doctor. Seb seemed unperturbed and on a mission as he rushed to be back by your bedside and holding your hand. “Okay Y/N, you listen to me.”

“Aye aye captain,” you mumbled, feeling rather elated by his newfound glee. Seb was happy, that’s all that mattered.

“You need to hang on for me because I love you and I swear to god the moment you’re able to walk I will be taking you down an aisle, I’m also never letting you drive again. I don’t even care okay I will become your personal taxi.” He kissed you on the lips, repeatedly. So many times that you wondered if he was just doing it so that you’d eventually get the sensation of kissing.

“Oh my god Seb, I love you so much.” More tears fell from your bodies eyes, and he smiled so brightly that it seemed to light up the whole hospital room. The curtains seemed to get their green shade back and the floor wasn’t just grey, it was a dirty white with speckles of colour thrown in to give it a marble-looking effect. And the people in the room weren’t sleeping or staring at nothing to pass the time, they were all dreaming and thinking of miraculous and wonderful things.

spongecatdog  asked:

You make me want an entire Rhack smut fic written like a Dr. Seuss book

I would fuck you here or there, I would fuck you in my chair.

I would fuck you in my lab, I would make you call me ‘dad’.

I do so like dear Rhysie’s can.

Thank you! Thank you, noodle man.

@devlinmia

All.  Especially when there is information that could benefit the asking party.  I think those odds are extremely high.  I’d bet on it in fact.


Actual green eggs and ham or the book? I do enjoy the book.  And I do like eggs and ham; there is a great way to make the eggs green by cooking them with pureed parsley and basil…like a pesto egg. While it’s not my favorite, I’ve had it.

Excellent. Because that is the kind of day I’d like to have.

Darling. The correct answer is merely  “I do not like them Sam-I-Am.” So much thought put into the question. Though I believe you have now ruined eggs for me with that recipe.