do you like apples

do you ever just get in a mood where you really fucking like apples?? i mean usually i’m just like “apples are ok” but every once in a while i’ll get a nice crunchy ass apple and my appreciation for apples will just suddenly skyrocket

I fucking hate languages.

The Greeks had this word, right, we have no idea where it came from, it just kinda popped up out of nowhere, and it could mean either apples, cheeks, or boobs. Problem is it looked and sounded *exactly* like another, unrelated word which could mean sheep, goat, or any animal in general really, which must have got confusing if you were a farmer talking about your livestock, but anyway…

Then the Romans, having stolen practically everything else from the Greeks, thought they’d nick this word too, because Latin isn’t confusing enough without throwing in a bunch of loan words. And they adopted it to mean a pumpkin.

Then the English came along and were all like “when in Rome”, and stole it, where it became our word ‘melon’. Which has now come back to mean boobs.

How do you like them apples.


The only look that matters


“Alright Kreacher.. let’s go.”
Regulus for @onacloudpine

  • 1: Could you go the rest of your life without smoking a cigarette?
  • 2: Are you single/taken/heartbroken/confused?
  • 3: What if I told you that you were pretty?
  • 4: Ever been told “it’s not you, it’s me”?
  • 5: Are you interested in anyone right now?
  • 6: What are you looking forward to in the next week?
  • 7: Do you want to be single?
  • 8: Did you go out or stay in last night?
  • 9: How late did you stay up last night?
  • 10: Can you recall the last time you realized you liked someone a lot?
  • 11: Last three things you had to drink?
  • 12: Have you pretended to like someone?
  • 13: Have you ever told somebody you loved them and not actually meant it?
  • 14: Honestly, has anyone seen you in your underwear in the past 3 months?
  • 15: Is it hard for you to get over someone?
  • 16: Think back five months ago, were you single?
  • 17: What were you doing at 12:30 this afternoon?
  • 18: Hold hands with anyone this week?
  • 19: Could you go for the rest of your life without drinking alcohol?
  • 20: What would you name your future daughter?
  • 21: Do you miss anyone?
  • 22: Have you kissed three or more people in one night?
  • 23: Did your last kiss take place in/on a bed?
  • 24: Are you good at hiding your feelings?
  • 25: Have you ever cried from being so mad?
  • 26: Who did you last see in person?
  • 27: Are you listening to music right now?
  • 28: What is something you currently want right now?
  • 29: What is the last thing you said out lot?
  • 30: How is your heart lately?
  • 31: Do you wear the hood on your hoodie?
  • 32: Are you wearing socks?
  • 33: What do people call you?
  • 34: Will you talk to the person you like tonight?
  • 35: Are there any stressful situations in your life?
  • 36: Who did you last share a bed with?
  • 37: Did you do something bad today?
  • 38: When was the last time a member of the opposite sex hugged you?
  • 39: Do you get stressed out easily?
  • 40: Will you sing today?
  • 41: Have you ever wanted to tell someone something but didn’t?
  • 42: Who do you go to when you need to talk to someone?
  • 43: Have you ever been taken to the emergency room in an ambulance?
  • 44: What are you listening to right now?
  • 45: What is wrong with you right now?
  • 46: What is on your wrists right now?
  • 47: Where did you get the shirt/sweatshirt you’re wea
  • 48: What do you like better: hot chocolate or hot apple cider?
  • 49: Do you make wishes at 11:11?
  • 50: Are you a good artist?
  • 51: Love really is a beautiful thing huh?
  • 52: Do you miss the way things were six months ago?
  • 53: Ever been on a golf cart?
  • 54: Do you have trust issues?
  • 55: Ever stayed up all night on the phone, with who?
  • 56: Do you own something from Hot Topic?
  • 57: Do you use chap stick?
  • 58: Have you ever slapped someone in the face?
  • 59: Do you have a little sister?
  • 60: Have you ever been to New York?
  • 61: Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it?
  • 62: Have you hugged someone within the last week?
  • 63: What were you doing at midnight last night?
  • 64: Have you ever regretted kissing someone?
  • 65: Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile?
  • 66: Were your last three kisses from the same person?
  • 67: Have you kissed anyone in the last five days?
  • 68: Would you rather sleep with someone else or alone?
  • 69: Will next Friday be a good one?

Gentle self care

  • Get a big glass of water and see how good you are at chugging. Sipping water is for pussies, scull that sweet sweet agua like a bitch ass winner.
  • Do you have a pet? Fucking pet that motherfucker. Give your lil floof all the love you were denied as a kid.
  • Why are you wearing pants at home??? Seriously why? Who are you trying to impress?
  • For that matter, people with boobs, why are you wearing a rediculous spandex chest prison??? Get rid??? Set your flappy skin free???
  • Get outside. Sit in the sun. Roll on the grass. Eat a plant for all I care. Just make sure you do that like a fucking badass.
  • Eat a fucking apple or some shit. It’s sweet and delicious and your body wants it. Go to town on that apple. Make love to that apple. Destroy that apple with your rabid hunger.
  • Sleep naked, at least once. No one’s gonna see or judge. Trust me on this, you’ll never feel more free in your life. Just make sure it’s not winter otherwise you’ll never feel colder in your life.
  • Make some hecking ice lollies. Step 1: juice, Step 2: water, Step 3: freeze that bitch. Bam, you’ve got yourself a nutritious treat and its delicious as f Uck.
  • Take your arms and wrap the around your buddy. EMBRACE your brethren like the punk rocker you are. Give them a hug, a proper one, none if that half assed pat-on-back shit. HUG LIKE YOU MEAN IT.
  • Wash, rinse and repeat.

Something else,

does Tumblr still know what’s reality and what’s fiction? Because it’s so common that fictional characters are being treated like actual people, and that’s where I’m starting to see a problem.

These characters aren’t real, Tumblr. No matter what or who you want them to represent. They’re not real. The stories you like aren’t real. A character can be anything and nothing.

It’s not real, okay?


this is for @ivory-leigh with special thanks to @onemuseleft for her help with the idea

i super didn’t mean to write this tonight but the idea was SO GOOD and i’ve really been jonesing to write

In the weeks following what they’re calling The Battle of New York, Bruce settles into the Tower with an incredible ease.

The floor Tony designed for him is shockingly well-suited to his tastes and needs considering how Tony likes to claim he’s not a team-player. Bruce suspects each floor is equally well-designed and perhaps that’s why they’re all able to slip into a routine so quickly.

It feels like something missing has slotted into place and Bruce can tell just by looking at the others’ faintly bewildered expressions when they look around at the space they share that they feel the same.

Still, Bruce never looks toward Harlem.

Keep reading

passiontherainwing  asked:'ve only been drawing for about 5 years? The only explanation is that you're a god

See, drawing is a lot like studying math!

While solving equations and other problems you use certain rules and formulas that you learned in school. Kids do simple stuff like adding apples and high schoolers calculate derivatives and that’s okay! But! Literally nothing stands in the way of a 5th grader to go and learn derivatives! These concepts aren’t that complicated and if they are passionate about it, have the right books and maybe some external help, they are tots able to do it!

Same goes for art, it is based on certain rules! And the faster you get to know them (just like math formulas!) then the more you’d be able to draw! So go for it! :D


A one minute hyperlapse of me taking notes. 

This time the lightning is better but it’s pretty zoomed out so you can’t really see what I’m doing, or? I would really love some feedback on these hyperlapse-videos. I love filming them and would like to make them as good as possible. If you like these kinds of videos, what do you like about them? Thanks for the help! ❤️

I use: Ipad pro + Apple pencil + Goodnotes app 

Forgive Me, Father

Summary: You find an unusual customer at your workplace, and end up getting more than you bargained for when you offer to take him to a back room
Square Filled: Virginity
Sam x Reader
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: NSFW, smut, loss of virginity, Priest!Sam, Stripper!Reader
Words: 3,720 (now you know why it took so long
Written for @spnkinkbingo

Your name: submit What is this?

You spotted him as soon as you walked into the room; he looked so out of place, standing by the doorway, away from the dancers and other patrons.

You walked over to him, swaying your hips and flicking your hair over your shoulder to get his attention.

You loved your job, and days like this - people like this - made you love it even more.

“Good evening, father,” you smiled over the music, running your hands up his lapels, “What’s a man like you doing in a place like this?”

Keep reading

father! Vernon

anon requested: “Father!Vernon plz”

  •  Vernon would probably be the softest parent ever
  • imagine him knowing nothing at all about parenting despite having a younger sibling
  • and Sophia is just shaking her head
  • “Oppa, are you sure you can take care of a kid? You can barely take care of yourself.”
  • but she’s super excited to be an aunt
  • and would go shopping with Hansol for stuff or with her sister-in-law
  • because when Vernon goes by himself
  • he’d buy the wrong baby car seat for the car
  • or dog clothes, not baby clothes
  • he’d be a super excited fluffball of an expecting parent, and a clueless mess
  • until someone points him to a first time parenting handbook
  • and he just sits there staring at it like it’s the most incredible thing in the world
  • like ‘They actually write books about how to raise a human?!?!’
  • and he’d read through the first few pages
  • before getting distracted by the pictures
  • of all the cute babies and of the loving parents
  • and would want to go out to buy a bunch of clothes and tiny shoes and tiny socks and tiny shirts
  • just squealing at every cute tiny thing
  • “Are babies really born that tiny?!?!?!”
  • and buying baby toys
  • each of which he will test himself
  • like a rattle, he’ll shake it around before deciding to buy it
  • and then watching a bunch of youtube videos on how to change diapers
  • and vids of mommy vloggers recommending stuff
  • and he’d probably get distracted by other stuff again like an animation for the abc song or something
  • and would think it’s super cute
  • he’s literally a child what can you do
  • would spend weeks freaking out once the delivery date approaches
  • basically asking all the hyungs for advice
  • and asking Chan for advice even though Chan’s younger
  • “Why are you asking me?” Chan would laugh
  • Lots of constant thinking and random questions
  • “Hyung, babies have a hole in their skull you can’t touch right?”
  • “I’m going to call babies from now on small persons, because that’s what they are, they don’t need to be called babies.”
  • “Small people need formula right?”
  • “On second thought babies might be a better term.”
  • Hansol gets death glares from Jihoon
  • and on the delivery date
  • you can imagine twelve boys waiting out in the hospital hallway
  • literally all excited about being uncles basically
  • Seungkwan running up and down the hallway ready to see Hansol’s kid already
  • Joshua just carrying a gift wrapped by Mingyu that they all chipped in to buy
  • until Hansol walks out with a huge goofy grin on his face
  • a high-pitched sound coming out the back of his throat
  • and all of Svt gathers around like
  • “I’M A DAD, I FEEL OLD!!!”
  • “IT’S A BOY.”
  • so much screaming happens in the next ten minutes, pretty sure the hospital staff were ready to kick Svt out
  • “Baby Decaprio Jr.!!!!”
  • and although Vernon is a kind of clueless parent
  • he figures things out his own way
  • can’t change a diaper properly when he’s watching the kid at the studio so he uses the next best thing
  • always insisting his wife take lots of breaks so he can bond with his son
  • “Yo do you like me or mom better? No we don’t have to tell her ke ke ke.”
  • “Hansol the baby can’t talk yet.”
  • “I know!”
  • the little guy always has his dad and his dad’s twelve friends looking after him
  • “Repeat after me //ahem// uncle Seungkwan is the best, jjang!!!”
  • “He looks just like Hansol.”
  • “You want to watch spongebob with me and your dad, hmm?”
  • Vernon carrying around his son everywhere in one of those baby harnesses he straps to his chest
  • “That’s Woozi-hyung making music, that’s Hoshi-hyung making dance moves, that’s Dokyeom-hyung doing… something silly”
  • even if he isn’t going out, his son is sitting in the harness on Hansol’s chest
  • “Vernon you can’t dance with your kid on your chest.”
  • “Oh yea hang on.”
  • and though he’s a goofball
  • no one could ever deny how much Hansol loves his son
  • always using baby talk
  • and singing random songs in both Korean and English to his kid
  • at the end of a long day, they’d fall asleep together on the couch
  • and when the baby wakes up in the middle of the night, Vernon’s panicking
  • “pop” is his first word
  • and Hansol is thinking YES POP LIKE DAD
  • but no it’s pop like a bubble pops
  • because every time Hansol imitates a bubble and gets popped by one of the Svt members
  • his son laughs and smiles like crazy
  • “Pop, pop, pop!”
  • Vernon dying every time at the cuteness
  • “You can call me pop, just don’t tell mom.”
  • and when his kid gets a bit older and starts learning stuff
  • Vernon is really surprised at how quickly his son picks up a mix of both Korean and English
  • his son’s sentences are never fully in one language it’s always a mix of both
  • which Joshua laughs at every time
  • Hansol looking up abc raps for his son to listen to in the car
  • and soon the kid starts picking up on Vernon’s mannerisms
  • “He’s literally a tiny you.” Seungkwan laughs pointing at how Vernon and his son stood
  • Hansol likes to go everywhere with his kid, since his son hangs out at the studio with him often since his mom works
  • he’s only six now
  • “Uncle Seungkwan, do you want to get ice cream?”
  • “Uncle Joshua, how do you say 'adventure’ in Korean?”
  • “Uncle Seungcheol, is my dad annoying you?”
  • literally the cutest six year old ever
  • running around the studio looking at everything and asking all the members questions
  • “Daddy! Uncle Woozi played me a bit of mansae, I liked it a lot!”
  • the kid is a goofball too like his dad
  • and Vernon lets him listen to Svt songs all the time
  • “I wrote these lyrics, do you like them?” he’d ask his son
  • “Of course, because you wrote them!”
  • they’d go to the park to play baseball or basketball
  • Hansol carrying his kid on his shoulders to throw the ball into the hoop
  • and then running around like crazy screaming if he makes it
  • would try to teach his son how to bike and skateboard and roller skate at eight
  • but not before buying all the security gear and elbow/knee guards and keeping a hand tightly around his kids hand
  • Hansol would play music in the park and they’d have a dance party out in the middle of the park
  • not caring what other people thought
  • just enjoying the music
  • “You can dance really well!” Vernon tells his son
  • “Yea, I think I’m better than you dad!”
  • “No way, let’s have a dance battle!”
  • Vernon always worried about his kid
  • when his son needed to start school
  • “Dad, it’s only like for five hours.”
  • Hansol writing the names of the kids his son plays with and their parents on his hand to remember like he tries remembering fan names
  • “My dad’s a rapper! He sings too! I’m really proud of him!” his son would tell all his friends
  • and man Hansol would be so happy, he’d almost explode
  • and they go everywhere to eat all the food and try all the good stuff
  • “Cheeseburgers, pizza, chicken, meat, chocolate, the necessary foods of a balanced diet.”
  • “What about fruits and vegetables like mom told me?”
  • “I don’t know what mom’s been saying but it isn’t that.”
  • “I like apples though.”
  • watch Hansol go out of his way just to buy like twelve apples just because his kid said he liked them
  • “how do you like them apples”
  • “dad. stop. PLEASE.”

Originally posted by mingyuwu


~ admin jess

anonymous asked:

Can you imagine that after Nocts sacrifice and everything that has happened in the game, Noct is reborn but as an ordinary orphan that Gladio encounters during the hunts. Like he looks exactly like Noct but cant really speak and with no memories except vague feelings of familiarity? What's be everyones reaction to this adorable chubby baby sucking his thumb and looking at them confused and scared? Especially Gladnis reactions? - 🍏 Anon





Akjdsofdksdkfsdmfsdmsdkofoksdsksdm, this has been in my head ever since you put it in my inbox, sweet potatoes, it’s such a- a- I don’t have a word to describe it. It follows canon and doesn’t fix the tragedy of it but also doesn’t allow it to be a tragedy all in all; doesn’t fix it but rather…compensates it. And that’s pretty darn goddamn brilliant, geez.

I don’t even know where to start. I’m sitting here with my palms to my mouth trying to think then really not thinking because I’m thinking so much, ahaha. Oh Apple Anon, what have you done to me? This is a gorgeous scenario, I’d love to write it had I the time, apsdjsodfjpsd. Maybe you should! Maybe I could one day? I don’t know, aaah, this is so pretty.

I had thought about Ignis’ reaction when you put that second entry in my inbox and I just smiled and nodded because yep, that’s basically summary of what I was going to tell you Iggy’s reaction would be to reincarnated baby Noct.

Okay, okay, I’ve got material, listen to me. I think I’m going to put it all under Keep Reading because I don’t know how long it’ll turn but knowing myself it’s probably a lot so here goes, putting in the reactions you ask about:

Keep reading