do you know how long its been

Finally Opening Up

I know, this feels like beating a dead horse or otherwise dancing on its grave. The forum controversy feels like it’s been over forever for me. However, I finally wanted to speak up about why I had posted my photos on your forums when you had requested your fans to do so. My goal isn’t to outright attack you, it is simply to get you to realize how much power that you have over your fans and how damaging that it can become. I’m 15 now, and I believe that I was around thirteen when I was ecstatic to share my face-and as creepy as it sounds now-my body figure in order to seek validation. I blatantly refused to do any second thinking about my actions. And looking back I did it because I found you as a big aspiration to live up to. Now, I can’t recall if I had shown up in your videos and I can’t be bothered to sift through them at this point. But that doesn’t matter. What mattered was that in my mind I thought that I valued you as a person, and that you were this honest person, or so you said. I now look back and see that if I had seen myself being judged by you not so long ago, that if you even went as far to criticize the shape of my eyebrows maybe, it would’ve torn me apart. You retweet and reblog the statuses of people who have claimed you helped them. But this is because they would follow you to the ends of the earth. A few strong people cannot cover up that some were weak, but you do not reblog and apologize to those who took your words of an idol too far. You mocked them. Refused to remove videos that were then being used as weapons to mock and make fun of the weaker ones. I no longer follow you because I see now that you are no longer happy or that you’re act to appear happy can no longer be bought. I subscribed to your channel in 2012 because I saw you as this light of hope. You influenced my thoughts and behaviors because at the time I had just moved in with a new set of parents, who I felt like I could not be open to you. So your beliefs and morality influenced me easily. You showed to be happy but over not a long course of time you became negative. I was optimistic enough to keep on following you and that one day, you’d be a careless ball of joy that I had looked up to for so long once again. You had made the biggest impact on me because I had no one else to turn to. You can twist those words however you want, mock me for looking up to you, but the past isn’t something that you can change. I stopped following you because you’re bad vibes and the drama got worse and you let it run your channel. Thats why I stopped following you. I’m doing better now, and a big chunk of my mindset has changed or developed in some way. I know that I have a hell of a lot more growing up to do. There’s no denying that. If you don’t ever get to reading this, that’s okay. All in all, I just needed this to get off of my chest. If you ignore it, even better. But if you’ve gotten to the end of this overkill of a passage, I don’t want to cause you any harm. Or to tell you what to do. Because I have little power over an adult.

So y'all know how I said I was never livestreaming again a long time ago? I’ve been thinking today and have a proposition for you guys

I’m thinking about doing a livestream again just to test the waters (dunno when, maybe tomorrow or Monday or something). If the turnout is at its usual low, then it’ll just be a one-and-done stream, but if the turnout is high, then I’ll consider going back to streaming again

Let me know what you guys think

I can’t stop thinking about the wisecrack carrie fisher would make about debbie reynolds dying a day after her: the joke about her family, always bringing the drama, the ‘she couldn’t stand to let me have all the attention even when I had just died. I want you all to remember that I did it first.’  

I like to imagine her in the afterlife adding material to her stand up: ‘I’m really disappointed to be here tonight, I was hoping I’d get to haunt george lucas for that metal bikini.’ ‘do you know how long the line for this place is? I flipped off nancy reagan and fidel castro on the way in. ’ ‘when I said dear lord please don’t let me live to see that orange buffoon be president I should have been a helluva lot more specific.’

playing to a sold out audience, her mother in the front row. bowie and rickman at a table in the back. 

8 Things Successful Students Do

Hey everyone! A lovely man named Mike Strangstalien, MA, MFT, LPC, NCC decided to compile a list of 8 things successful people do. He has been working on this list since 1994 and continues to update this list as he does more research. I decided to share some of his amazing work here with you all by summarizing his main points. Enjoy and good luck!

1. They raise their hand in class.

Now, this may seem trivial and sometimes you’re left with the question, “How can I speak up in class if I don’t even know what I don’t know?”. However, its been proven that people who raise their hand and ask questions tend to do better. If you are unsure of a question to ask, a good technique is to go home and review the material and the next day at the beginning of class, ask your question. This not only gets you to actively participate in class, but you begin to think about the information you learned and are able to commit it to long term memory.

2. They establish routine and structure.

During the day you should try to complete your homework so that at night you can spend your time studying, reviewing and consolidating. Its been proven that studying something before bed can commit it to long term memory. Doing work at night when you’re tired can lead to poor performance and may not commit things to memory if its the first time you’re seeing the information. 

Also, try to go to bed BEFORE 1:30 am! Why is this important? Your serotonin is used up during the day (about 90%)  and is reassembled if you get to bed by 1:30. If you go to bed past 1:30 twice in a row, you miss your key opportunity to replace it and you’re left with only 10%! Do this again and you’re down to only 1%. This affects your concentration, focus, attention, motivation and memory. 

3. They go to office hours.

Those who go to office hours at least 8 times during the semester yield, on average, 0.5-1.2 grade points HIGHER than their non-attending counter parts. The main reason people don’t go to office hours is a fear of looking “dumb”. However, if you just admit to your professor or TA that you’re completely lost, they can help re-teach. Remember to be honest about your confusion because otherwise they may start their explanation off the assumption that you already know something and you’ll have wasted your time and your professor’s. This can be the difference between a C and an A! 

4. They prepare for each lecture.

Preparation for each lecture is essential. Begin by reviewing any information from the last lecture within 24 hours of first receiving this information, otherwise you lose valuable time to commit it to long term memory. Additionally, quick read assigned readings so that the lecture can consolidate what you read. After the lecture, spend about 5 minutes summarizing the major points and look up any vocabulary you didn’t recognize. This all compiles into the three-read principle. 1. Read the textbook (or other materials) beforehand. 2. Reread after the lecture and try to find the main points in the reading. 3. Reread a third time and write notes as though you plan to teach the information. This means simplifying and not writing down unnecessary information. 

5. They remain actively involved when learning, attending lecture, and while studying. 

I have a post about active studying techniques which you can find here. Active learning requires not only that you consciously try to pay attention, but also that you maintain your motivation to learn the material, the willingness to complete the tasks at hand needed to learn it, and saying to yourself, “I am excited to learn something new and I am thankful that I have the opportunity to do it”. Remember, there are kids in other countries literally dying for the right to an education. Your education is luxury, not a right. Additionally, every 15 minutes, stop and ask yourself, “how does this fit into the main idea,” and “what is it that I just read and how can I form study questions from it?”. 

6. They take responsibility for their learning.

Although your professor is there to provide you with the information, it is not their job to make sure you learn it. Often times students fail because they expect the professor to try hard to help them. This is a harmful way of thinking and it can lead to failed exams. Those who take responsibility will make sure they seek help when they need it and they will make sure they search for resources outside of what is provided. If you’re really struggling with a concept, try Kahn Academy, YouTube or asking a TA. Its up to you to earn the A, not your professor. Also, keep track of your own grades and assignments that you turn in. This way if you need to see someone for help, you’re not disadvantaged because you waited until the grades were updated online after you threw away graded papers. 

7. They understand the work load and are prepared to study 7 days a week.

Not everyone can study for hours on end every day. For this reason, those who are successful make sure they break down their studying into 25 minute intervals. Additionally, make sure you touch on this information every single day to keep your brain ready for the class when it comes time and you can avoid procrastination. You also need to be prepared for repeated exposure. This means reviewing the same material 3-7 times. This highly increases your likelihood to not only learn the information for exam, but not become guilty of the “pump-and-dump”. This is especially helpful for anyone pursuing medical school or graduate school. 

8. They have no use for negative self-talk and they are honest with themselves.

You cant commit things to memory if you feel down or you are angry with yourself! Those who are successful maintain the mentality of, “I know that hard work and commitment will lead to success,” and, “I am capable, intelligent, and worthy of excellent grades”. They also understand that any grade they receive is earned and not given. Additionally, they understand that even at the end of the day, if they get bad grades they know for a fact that they tried their hardest. Self-criticism can be more harmful than good. Never scold yourself for missing homework, doing bad on an exam, or being confused. Instead, search for ways to actually CHANGE your behavior. A change in you mentality may sound silly, but it may be the difference between having the motivation to study a little harder and laying in bed feeling bad about yourself. BE HONEST. If you are really struggling and going to office hours and studying isn't helping, drop your pride and try to find a tutor. If a tutor isn’t in the books for you due to financial situations, explain this to your professor and see if you can schedule more one-on-one time. 

  • Disney: So, how are we all doing today?
  • Fox: Well, we released Logan a few days ago, and that has gone perfectly.
  • Disney: Did people cry?
  • Fox: They were bawling.
  • Disney: Very good, very good. How about Netflix? I believe you have Iron Fist out in a few days.
  • Netflix: Uh, yeah, but the reviews haven't been great.
  • Disney: OK, I see. Don't worry, it's only one show, and we've got the Punisher on the way, we'll make it through. How about the comics division?
  • Marvel Comics: Um....
  • Disney: What have you done?
  • Marvel Comics: What?
  • Netflix: We know that sound. How bad is it?
  • Fox: Look, as long as it doesn't involve Nick Spencer, we'll be fine.
  • Marvel Comics: ...
  • Netflix: Oh god, what's he done now?
  • Marvel Comics: He..... he made Magneto a Nazi.
  • Fox: *flips the table*
  • Rich: How long have you been sleeping with Michael?
  • Jeremy: What? I don't even get...Why would...I...I've never had sex with anyone anywhere. It's none of your... You have the nerve, the audacity... An how... How do I know, frankly, that you're not sleeping with him? Maybe you are. Maybe you're trying to throw me off.
history of the entire world, i guess; a transcript

hi. you’re on a rock, floating in space. pretty cool, huh? some of it’s water. fuck it, actually most of it’s water. i can’t even get from here to there without buying a boat. it’s sad. i’m sad. i miss you. how did this happen? a long time ago, actually never, and also now, nothing is nowhere. when? never. makes sense, right? like i said, it didn’t happen. nothing was never anywhere. that’s why its been everywhere. it’s been so everywhere, you don’t need a “where”. you don’t even need a “when”. that’s how “every” it gets. (pause). forget this. i wanna be something, go somewhere, do something. i want things to change. i want to invent time and space. and i know it’s possible because everything is here and it probably already happened. i just don’t know when to start. and that’s exactly where it started. (background noise) woah. i… paused it. i think there’s a universe now. what’s it made of? quarks and stuff. ah, that’s a thing, in a place. don’t like it? try a new place, at a different Time™. try to stick together because the world is gonna get bigger and emptier. but it’s not empty yet. it’s still very full, and about a kjghpillion degrees. (about no seconds later). great news! the quarks are now happily married in groups of three called a “proton” or a “neutron”. and there’s something else flying around too that wants to join in but can’t cause it’s still to (HOT). (about ten minutes later). great news! the protons and the neutrons are now happily married to each other (some of them even doubled up). (about 380,000 years later). great news, the electrons have now joined in. congratulations, the world is now a bunch of gas in space. but it’s getting closer together and it’s getting closer together and it’s getting closer together. it’s a staaaar. new shit just got made. some stars burn out and die. bigger stars burn out and die with passion! and make some brand new way crazier shit. space dust! which allows newer, more interesting stars to be made, and then die, and explode into even crazier space dust. so now stars have cool stuff around them, like rocks, ice, and funny clouds, which can make some very interesting things. like this ball of flaming rocks, for example. holy shit, we just got hit with another ball of flaming rocks, and it kinda made a mess. which is now the moon. weather update: it’s raining rocks from outer space. weather update: those rocks might’ve had water inside them and now there’s Hot Steam in the sky. weather update: cooler temperatures today, and the floor is no longer lava. weather update: its raining. severe flooding alert: the entire world is now an ocean. volcano alert: that’s land. there’slifeintheocean. what? something’s alive in the ocean. oh cool, like a plant or an animal? no. a microscopic speck! it lives at the bottom of the ocean and eats chemical soup which is being served hot and fresh made from gnarly space ingredients leftover from when it was raining rocks or whatever. oh yeah, and it can do that. it has secret instructions written inside itself telling it how to build another one of itself. so that’s pretty nifty, i would say. tired of living at the bottom of the ocean? now you can eat sunlight. using a revolutionary technique you can convert sunlight into food. taste the sun. side effect: now there’s oxygen everywhere and the sky’s blue. then the earth might’ve been a snowball for a while, maybe even a coupla times. it’s a sponge, it’s a plant, it’s a worm and some other types of weird strange water bugs and strange fish. it’s the Cambrian explosion. “wow, that’s animals and stuff.” but we’re still in the ocean. hey, can we go on land? NoO. why? the sun is a deadly lazer. oh okay. not anymore there’s a blanket. now the animals can go on land. come on, animals, let’s go on land! “nope, can’t walk yet. and there’s no food yet so i don’t care.” (100 million years later) ok, will you learn to walk if there’s plants up here? “maybe,” said some bugs, and fish. “uh. uh. uh.” (five million years later) “ok so i can go on land but i have to go back in the water to have babies.” (idea) learn to use an egg. “i was already doing that.” use a stronger egg, and put water in it, have a baby, on land, in an egg. water is in the egg, baby, in the water, in the egg. works for me. bye bye ocean. aaand now everything is huge. including bugs. wanna see a map of the land? sure. ah fuck, now everything’s dead. just kidding here are the survivors. keep your eye on this one because its about to become the dinosaurs. here’s another map of the land. yeah, it broke apart, don’t worry about it, it does that all the time. here comes a meteor. and the dinosaurs are gone. its mammal time! here come the mammals. look at those breasts. now they’re gonna dominate the world, and one of them just learned how to grab stuff. and walk. no, like, walk like ‘that’. and grab stuff at the same time. and bang rocks together to make… pointed rocks. “ouch.” and set things on fire. “yeouch.” and make crazy sounds with their voice (“gneurshk.”) which can mean different things. that’s a human person. and now they’re everywhere, almost. ice age. what? you can walk over here? cool. not anymore. i guess we’re stuck here now.

let’s review. there’s people on the planet. and they’re chasing their food. fuck it, time to plant some grass. look at this, i control the food now. now everyone will want to be my friend and live near me. let’s all build houses except mine is bigger because i own the food. this is great, i wonder if anyone else is doing this. tired of using rocks for everything? use metal. it’s underground. better farming was just invented in a sweet dank valley right in between these two rivers, and the animals are helping. guess what happens next. more food, and more people who came to buy the food. now you need people to help make the food and keep track of the sales. and now you need houses for people to live in, and people to make the houses. and now there’s more people and they invent things, which makes things better and more people come. and there’s more farming and more people to make more things for more people. and now there’s business, money, writing, laws, power. sociiiety. coming soon to a dank river valley near you. meanwhile, out in the middle of nowhere, the horse is probably being tamed. why is all my metal so lame and lumpy? tired of using lame, sad metal? introducing bronze, made with special ingredient tin from the far lands of tin land. i don’t know, my dealer won’t tell me where he gets it. also, guess what - egypt. meanwhile, out in the middle of nowhere, they figured out how to put wheels on a horse. now we’re getting somewhere. also, china. and did i mention indusrivervalleycivilization. norte chico. the middle east is getting more complicated, maybe because it’s in the middle of the east. knock knock- er, clop clop, it’s the people with the horses? and they made an empire! and then everyone else copied their horses. greeks! ah look, it must be the greeks, or a beta version of the greeks. let’s check in with the indus river valley civilization. they’re gone. guess who’s not gone? china. new arrivals in india. maybe it’s thosehorsepeopleiwastalkingabout or theircousinsorsomething. and they wrote some hymns and mantras and stuff. you could make a religion out of this. there’s the bronze age collapse. now the phoenicians can get down to business. also, can we switch to a metal that’s a little easier to find? thanks. look who came back to israel, it’s the twelve tribes of israel. and they believe in god. just one though, he’s got like a ten step program. here’s some huge heads, must be the olmec. the phoenicians make some colonies. the greeks copy their idea and make some colonies. the phoenicians made a colony so big it makes colonies. here comes the assyrian empire. nevermind it’s the babylonian- median- it’s the persian empire. “wow, that’s big.” ah, the buddha was just enlightened! who’s the buddha? this guy, who sat under a tree for so long that he figured out how to ignore the fact that we’re all dying. you could make a religion out of this. oops, china just broke, but while it was breaking confucius was figuring out how to have good morals. ah, the greeks just had the idea of thinking about stuff. and right over here, alexander just had the idea of conquering the entire persian empire. it’s a great idea, he was…great. and now he’s dead. hopefully, the rest of the gang will be able to share the empire evenly between them. knock knock, it’s chandragupta, he says, “get the hell out of here, will you get the hell out of here if i give you 500 elephants? ok thanks bye; time to conquer all of india- or most of india”. but what about this part? that’s the tamil kings, no one conquers the tamil kings. who are the tamil kings? merchants, probably. and they’ve got spices. who would like to buy the spices? “me,” said the arabians, swiftly buying them and selling them to the rest of the world. hey, china put itself back together again with good morals as their main philosophy. actually they have three main philosophies. out here, the horse nomads run wild and free, and they would like to ransack your city. let’s check the greekification levels of the greekified kingdoms: greekification overload! “bye,” said the parthians, “bye,” said the jews. “hi,” said the parthians, taking over the entire place. “heyyyyyyyy,” said the romans, eating the entire mediterranean for breakfast. “thanks for invading our homeland,” said the jews, who were starting to get tired of people invading their homeland. “hi, everything’s great,” said some guy who seems to be getting very popular, and then gets arrested and killed for being too popular, which only makes him more popular. you could make a religion out of this. want silk? now you can buy it from china! they just made a brand new road to the world…or you can get there on water. “sick, new trade routes,” said india, accidentally spreading their religion to the entire southeast. hmm, that’s a good place for an epic trading kingdom. there goes buddhism, travelling up the silk road. i wonder if it’ll reach china before it collapses again. “remember the persian empire? yup,” said the persians, making a new one. axum is getting so powerful they would like to build a long stick. has anyone populated madagascar yet? let’s do it together. china is whole again…then it broke again. still can’t cross the sahara desert? try camels. “hell yeah, now we’ve got business,” said the ghana empire, selling lots of gold, and slaves. “hi i live in the roman empire and i was wondering, is loving jesus legal yet?” “no” “actually ok sure,” said constantine, moving the capitol way over here to be closer to his main rival. don’t worry about rome, it won’t fall. it’s the golden age of india. there’s the gupta empire. not chandragupta, just gupta, first name chandra, the first. guess who’s in rome? barbarians. what’s a barbarian? “non-romans,” said the romans, being invaded by non-romans. r.i.p. roman empire. or actually, just half is just fine. but it’s not in rome anymore so let’s give it a new name. the mayans have figured out the staaars. oh, and here’s a huge city, population everyone. the göktürks have taken over the entire eurasian steppe. great job, göktürks. how’s india? broken. how’s china? back together. how’s those trading kingdoms? bigger, and there’s more of them. korea has three kingdoms. japan has a kingdom, it’s the sunrise kingdom.

deep in the arabian desert, on the top of a mountain, the real god whispers in muhammad’s ear, so he goes down to the cube where everyone worships gods, and he tells them their gods are all fake. and everyone got so mad at him that he had to leave town and go to a different town. you could make a religion out of this. and maybe conquer the world as well. the roman empire is long gone, but somehow the pope is still the pope. plus there’s new kingdoms all over europe. i wonder if there’s room for moors. here’s all the wisdom, in a house. it’s the baghdad house of wisdom, just in time for the islamic golden age. “let’s bring stuff to the coast and sell it, and become the swahili on the swahili coast,” said the swahili on the swahili coast. remember this tiny space you have to go through to get from here to there? someone owns that now. wanna get enlightened in the middle of nowhere? the franks have the biggest kingdom in europe, and the pope is so proud that he invites the king over for christmas. “surprise, you’re the new roman emperor,” said the pope, pretending to still be part of the roman empire. then the franks broke their kingdom into what will later be called france and not france. the northerners, or just norse if you don’t have that much time, are exploring. they go north, from the north to the northern north, and they find some land. two types of land, and they name them accordingly. they also invade some other places and get called many names, such as vikings. there’s the rus, the kievan rus. are they vikings? “i don’t think so,” said the kievan rus. ok, fair enough. the pope is ready to make some more emperors of the roman empire, the holy roman empire. it’s actually germany but don’t worry about it. new kingdoms! christianizeallthekingdoms. which brand would you like? “mine’s better,” “mine’s better,” “mine’s better”. “time to conquer england,” said william. it’s a bird, it’s a plane, it’s the seljuk turks. “ahh!” said the byzantine empire, who’s getting so small it almost doesn’t exist anymore, “we need help!” they need help, so they call the pope. “hey pope, can you help us get rid of the seljuks? maybe take back the holy land on the way? come on, i know you wanna take back the holy land.” “yes, i do actually want to do that. let’s do a crusade.” crusade. they did many crusades, some of which almost didn’t fail, but at least the italians got some sweet trade deals. goodbye mayans. hello toltecs, goodbye toltecs, hello mississippi. look at those mounds. there’s the pueblo. i always wondered how to build a town in a cliff. guess who’s here? khmer. where? here, and pagan is there, and vietnam unconquered itself, korea just became itself, and japan is so addicted to art that the military might have to take over the government. china just invented bombs, and typing. and the mongols just invaded most of the universe. nice going, genghis. i bet that will last a long time! some of the islamic turks were unaffected by the mongol invasions because they were busy invading india. is it tonga time? i think it’s tonga time. i just found out where the swahili gets all their gold. look at this chad (means lake), there’s an empire there, right in the middle of africa. the king of mali is so rich he’s going on tour to let everyone know. “wow, that guy’s rich,” everyone said. the christians are doing a great job of conquering iberia which will soon be called spain and not spain. please remain christian. we will check in later to see if you are still christian when you least expect. whoops, half of europe just died. ming. china’s back, yay. hey khmer, time to share, new kingdoms here and there. oh look who controls all the islands, its the mahajapit. majahapit, mapajahit, mahapajit, mapajahit, majapahit? oh, italy’s really rich, time for them to care a lot about art and the ancient classics. it’s kinda like a rebirth. here’s a printer, lets make books. so you think you can conquer the byzantine empire? “yep,” said the ottoman turks. nice job, ottoman turks. whoops, you missed a spot; don’t forget to ban europe from the indian spice trade. “what? that’s bullshit,” said portugal, spiceless. well i guess we’ll have to find another way to india. “wait,” said christopher colombus, probably smoking crack, “if the world is round, lets go this way to india!” “nah, don’t worry we already got this,” said portugal. so chris goes to spain. “hey spain, wanna hire me to go find india by going around back of the world?”  “no.”  “please?”  “no.”  “please?”  “no.” “please?” “ok.” so he sails into the ocean, and discovers more ocean, and then discovers ‘the indies’ and ‘japan’. let’s draw a line to decide who gets which half of the world. the aztec and inca empires are off to a great start. i wonder if they know that europe just discovered their continent. the habsburgs are marrying into so many royal families they might have to start marrying each other. move over lithuania, here comes moscow. ivan wants to make russia great again. move over timurids, maybe go invade india or something. persia just made persia persian again. let’s make it the other kind of islam, the one where we thought the first guy should’ve been the other guy. hey christians, do you sin? now you can buy your way out of hell. “that’s bullshit, this whole thing is bullshit, that’s a scam, fuck the church, here’s 95 reasons why,” said martin luther, in his book which might have accidentally started the protestant reformation. “you know what would be magnificent?” said suleiman, wearing an onion hat, “what if the ottoman empire was really big, which it is now.”  “what if russia was big,” said ivan, trying not to be terrible. portugal had a dream that they controlled the entire indian ocean, including the spice trade, and then that dream was real. and spain realised that this is not india, but they pillaged it anyway. “damn,” said england and france, “we gotta start pillaging some stuff.” then the dutch revolt and all the hipsters move to amsterdam. “damn,” said amsterdam, “we gotta start pillaging some stuff.” question one: can you get to india through north america? no, but at least there’s beaver. question two: steal the spice trade. that’s not a question but the dutch did it anyway. sugar. guess where all the sugar’s made? in brazil. stolen! in the carribean, and it’s so goddamn profitable you might forget to not do slavery. the next thing on russia’s to-do list is to get bigger. britain and france are having a friendly discussion about who should control the entire world, more specifically, ohio. then it escalates into a seven year discussion, giving prussia a chance to show austria who’s boss. but what about britain and france, did they figure out who’s boss? yes they did, it’s britain. guess who’s broke? also britain. so they start taxing the hell out of america.

“fuck you,” says america, declaring their independence, and fighting for it. france helps them win, now france is broke. and britain will have to send their prisoners to a different continent. wait if france is broke, why do the king and queen still wear such fancy dresses? “let’s overthrow the palace and cut all their heads off!” said robespierre, cutting everybody’s head off until someone eventually got mad and cut his head off. you could make a reli- no don’t. haiti is starting to like the idea of a revolution, especially the slaves, who free themselves by killing their masters. “why didn’t we think of this before?” wait, who’s in charge of france now? “me,” said napoleon, trying to take over europe. luckily, they banished him to an island. but he came back. luckily, they banished him to another island. there goes latin america, becoming independent in the latin america wars of independence. britain just figured out how to turn steam into power, so now they can make many different types of machines and factories with machines in them so they can make a lot of products real fast. then they invent some trains, and conquer india and maybe put some trains there. “hey china,” said britain, “buy stuff from us.” “nah, dude we already got everything,” says china. so britain tried to get them addicted to opium, which worked actually, but then china made it illegal and dumped it all into the sea. so britain threw a hissy-fit and made them open up five cities and give them an island. britain and russia are playing a game where they try to stop each other from conquering afganistan. also the sultan of oman lives in zanzibar now, that’s just where he lives. india had a revolution, and they would like to govern themselves now. “nope,” said britain, governing them even harder than before. technology is about to go crazy. the united states finally figured out whether slavery is good or bad. “it’s bad,” they decided. and then they continued manifesting their destiny, which is to kill the rest of the natives and take their land, and maybe kick out the mexicans too. “i know, let’s rape africa,” said europe, scrambling to see who could rape it the fastest. they never got ethiopia.  britain and france are still hungry. they never got thailand. the united states ran out of destiny to manifest, so they’re looking for more. hawaii. cuba. wait spain controls cuba. “well, blame something on them and go to war! what should we blame on them? let’s blame the maine on spain!” so they blame the maine on spain. now we’re in business. to celebrate, they kick panama out of panama and make a canal, connecting the two oceans. britain just found oil in the middle east. it makes cars go. china is so tired of being bossed around that they delete their old government and make a new stronger government, which is accidentally weaker and controlled by a guy from the previous government. europe hasn’t had a war since the last war, so they start world war one. look at those guns. it’s gonna be a great war, so great we won’t need a second one. after it’s over, they blame germany. russia went on strike and the workers overthrew the government. now everyone’s paycheck is the same. communism, in the soviet union. the arabs revolt, and britain helps. now the ottoman empire is gone, so we can give the jewish people a place to live. hopefully the arabs won’t mind. “let’s cut the cake,” said sykes and picot, carving up the remains of the not-so-ottoman-anymore empire. except turkey, turkey makes a brand new turkey. and then the saudis conquer arabia. it just seemed like the right thing to do. hello? yes, it’s the 1920s calling. let’s get in a car and drive to a party and listen to the jazz on the radio and go to the movies. the economy’s great and it’ll probably be great forever. just kidding. germany’s back, featuring hitler, the angry mustache model. he’s mad at the jews for existing. japan is finally conquering the east, and they’re so excited they rape nanking way too hard. they should probably just deny it. hitler’s out of control, so the international community tackles him and tries to explain to him why killing all the jews is a bad idea, but he kills himself before they could explain it to him. that’s world war two. bonus round: pacific showdown, united states versus japan. fight! finish him. let’s unite all the nations and have some world peace. seems legit. “hi i’m gandhi and if britain doesn’t get the hell out of india i’m going to starve myself in public. wow, that worked?” bonus: now there’s pakistan. actually two pakistans. one of them can be bangladesh later. the jews and the arabs finally figured out which one of them should live in the holy land. “me”, they both said at the same time. “let’s divide up the land so everyone’s happy.” sike! they both get angrier. look out china, there’s a new china in china. what’s on the menu? communism! “no thanks,” said the other china, escaping to an island. i wonder which one is the real china. there’s the korean war, korea versus korea, nobody wins, then it’s on pause forever. let’s meet the sponsors. oh, it’s the two global superpowers. they’re having a friendly debate over which economic system is good and which is an evil virus of satan. and they both have atom bombs. fight! wait no that would be the end of the world. let’s just keep it cool and spy on each other instead. and make sure we have enough atom bombs. “i’ll race you to space. now let’s make some more countries fight themselves.” europe is tired of pillaging other continents, so the continents they were pillaging are tired of being pillaged. so here’s a new map, with new countries. now you can’t tell who they’re being pillaged by. the united states finally decided whether racism is good or bad. they decided it’s bad, and the world agrees. south africa might need another minute to think about it. let’s check the world population. woah. okay. technology’s better too, that might keep happening. the soviet union decides to relax a little and accidentally falls apart. europe makes a union, so now they can all use the same money; except britain because they don’t feel like it. let’s check the mail. surprise! it’s on the computer! whoops, someone just attacked america, i bet they’ll remember that. phone call, surprise, it’s in your pocket! wanna learn everything? surprise, it’s on the computer! now your phone’s a computer, which is in your pocket. whoops, the economy just crashed. don’t worry, the big banks won’t fail, because they’re not supposed to. surprise, flying robots! with bombs. wanna print a brain? some people have no friends. some people have no food. the globe is warming, and the ocean is full of plastic. “let’s save the planet,” said everybody, not knowing how. “let’s invent a thing inventor,” said the thing inventor inventor, after being invented by a thing inventor. that’s pretty cool. by the way, where the hell are we?

fanaticfandomfaun  asked:

I am a huge fan of your style! It's absolutely lovely! How long have you been drawing and how did you develop your own style?

 ive been drawing my whole life! (always an odd question for me bc like…. yall stopped drawing after kindergarten? what did you do all day??)

as for developing style, my biggest piece of advice is just! keep! drawing! its been a bit hard to follow my own advice lately because my depression keeps fucking up my motivation and for the first time in my life i just dont feel like drawing, at all, ever. but if youre having similar motivational issues or if youre just starting out and you just arent feeling satisfied with your art, dont give up! the less you draw the harder it will be! i have a personal policy (that i dont actually remember to follow) where even if i dont want to, even if i hate how it looks, i have to draw at least once a day every single day. i swear it will improve your work if you do this. its hard, i know, i havent been doing it, but follow my advice not my example! (honestly im the embodiment of that quote “I give myself very good advice, but I very seldom follow it.” by Lewis Carol)

the other piece of advise i have is honestly…… steal art. 

“gasp! but Kate,” you say, “stealing art is bad and wrong!!” you say, “i know because of all those ‘art theft is bad and wrong’ posts i reblog!”

look. thats not what im saying, im not telling any of you to try to pass anyone elses art as your own, or use other peoples art without their credit. dont to that its bad and wrong. what im saying is LOOK at other peoples art and copy what they do. copying other peoples art styles is how every artist has learned for centuries. i started out drawing myself as a powerpuff girl or as a pokemon character just like everyone else. hell, i used to straight up print out and trace drawings i found on deviant art, which is a perfectly viable way to learn styles (muscle memory) so long as you dont try to pass it off as your own work then honestly its not stealing.

for example recently i was trying to draw these cat characters i had come up with, and i could not for the life of me draw these cats they were just turning out so ugly,

so i was like “well fuck this, i just need to find a simpler style” and by some kind of MIRACLE, while i was looking up drawings of cats i stumbled across this one blog, daily cat drawings. and it was like, holy shit this is it this is the exact style i need to draw my cats in. so first thing i did was try to follow some of their drawings exactly, not tracing but the closest you can get by sight. 

this is one of dailycatdrawing’s drawings:

and this was my attempt to copy it:

after i felt like i kinda had it down i drew that athena. NOT based off of any one of dailycatdrawing’s pieces, but still using the basics of their style. after that i felt confident enough using this style to draw the rest of my cats and they turned out great! naturally i had to draw hermes again because i couldnt just use such a blatant copy of another artists work, and it turned out even better than before!

which proves my earlier advice about how every single time you draw youre improving! its also important to note that even if you try to copy an artists style exactly you will probably never have it perfectly, and thats a GOOD THING! because it means that you arent truly stealing someone elses work, youre just using it as an example of ONE WAY a drawing can be good. by paying attention to MANY artists styles you can use all of them together to make your own unique style! even trying to copy dailycatdrawing’s style to a T i still ended up using elements from other artists and my own experience to change the style just enough to make it personal. looking at hermes’ face you can tell ive unintentionally taken some inspiration from lackadaisy’s art style, another artist i really admire. 

this turned out way longer than i meant it to, sorry, i always get so caught up in explaining things when people ask for advice. hopefully this helped someone!

Friendly Reminder

that while you can make jokes about Feyre manipulating Lucien in ACOWAR by using his mating bond with Elain, that will not make him change. It will make him worse. His condition will get worse as the female he saw as a friend, manipulates him again and again. Just as Tamlin did to him.  

a-not-so-clever-man  asked:

Someone important to me believes that something I wrote is based off of them and it as been hurting our relationship, how do I get them to know that it's not them?

I don’t know. I don’t think it’s possible to persuade people that you didn’t write about them. There is one long-ago short story of mine in which every former girlfriend of mine saw herself reflected, and each of them made a point of telling me that she had read it (I think they were flattered) and obviously the person in it was her, and I realised that nothing I could ever say about the story would change anybody’s mind. 

That’s because it’s almost impossible to explain to anybody who hasn’t done it that the way we make fiction is a sort of composting process in which things we see and feel and experience and think and imagine are put into our minds and then rot down into a black compost, in which new things grow. Or for that matter that you can steal the way that one person plays with their hair and the way another person sighs and always turns up late and grow a third person who isn’t either of them out of it.

So you can tell them it’s not them in your fiction. But they will still believe what they will. Perhaps instead you should just work on the relationship, and if they are worried about issues of privacy (or whatever) being compromised by what you write, tell them you must have done it without realising, and will do your best to make sure they aren’t in any more stories of yours, even unwittingly. 

I hope this helps. (You will probably find a lot more wisdom than this in the comments or the reblogs.)

anonymous asked:

are you doing requests? Can you draw mirror!Spock and regular Jim? With, like, Jim pinned against a wall?


  • sam: how long have you been sleeping with cas?
  • dean: what? i don't even get...why would i...
  • dean: i've never had sex with anyone, anywhere
  • sam: ...
  • dean: it's none of have the nerve, the AUDACITY
  • dean: and how do i know, quite frankly, that YOU'RE not sleeping with him?
  • dean: maybe you are. maybe you're trying to throw me off.
  • sam: ...

cinderdrilla  asked:

hit me up w/ some voltron goodness 8)

Lance puts his foot down, and Shiro/Slav have a long overdue talk.

Shiro never figured Lance for the snapping type. They all had their moments, under the constant stress of intergalactic rebellion, but Lance kept a reasonably calm lid on it – his self-titled “rivalry” with Keith aside. Looking at him now, there is only surprise at the way he’s holding himself, the set of his expression: Lance looks both nervous and pissed off.

‘Keith – could you give us a minute?’ he says, in a deliberately calm voice. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Keith hesitate, as if reading the tenseness of the situation and worrying that it might get out of hand. ‘Now, Keith. Go check on Slav’s sector.’

Reluctantly, and with a suspicious look at them both, Keith exits. Lance looks even more nervous when he does. More so when silence settles on them, and he raises a brow at Lance. Well? says the look, say what you have to.

‘I just… you’re way too hard on him,’ Lance repeats, a far cry from the irritated way he’d snapped Can’t you just cut Slav some slack? ‘He’s trying to help, Shiro. I-it’s not… he doesn’t mean to annoy you. It’s just how he… is.’

‘Excuse me?’ His previous calm turns to surprise. He keeps his voice low, not meaning to menace – but Lance scowls a little deeper, mistaking it for nonchalance.
Don’t, Shiro. You sound just like Iverson when you do that, a-and he was an ass,’ Lance says, voice rising only in pitch. Angry and nervous, like a cornered cat. Shiro takes a small step back to give him breathing room, but Lance stays tense. ‘Slav only wants to help. You treating him like a nuisance isn’t – it’s not fair, okay. He can’t help being jumpy; he was a prisoner for ages –’

It takes a second or two for that to sink in. When Shiro goes quiet, when his stare goes vacant as he processes this, Lance steps forward, speech picking up momentum as he grew more defensive.

‘– and it’s not easy to adapt out here,’ there’s a note of hurt in his voice, and it hits Shiro more than the chastising. ‘Slav got taken from his people and thrown into a war just like we did. He’s handling it different. YOU handled it different, we all did. I thought you’d understand him because of it, since you both got tortured by the Galra.’

That’s almost an accusation, and now Shiro fully understands what has Lance so fired up, so recalcitrant. And that understanding brings with it a sense of guilt, especially with the way Lance had said I THOUGHT you’d understand.

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anonymous asked:

"The ladies love a guy who’s good with kids.” with Cass pleaseeee

Cassian: *walks in Feysand’s room* Hey Rhys! Rhys! Wake up! I need you to do me a favour.

Rhys: *groans* It’s the middle of the night Cassian!! What do you want?

Cassian: *entusiastically* Tomorrow at lunch, I need you to say how good I am at teaching baby bats how to fly

Rhys: *confused* But you are not teaching them?

Cassian: *puts a finger on Rhys’ mouth* sshh you idiot, be quiet. She’ll hear you.

Rhys: Who? Cassian this is ridic-

Cassian: *whispers* Nesta of course! What kind of question is that?

Rhys: *rubs his eyes* Cassian, please, I don’t understand what this all is about.

Cassian: The ladies love a guy who’s good with kids, Rhys. Everyone knows that!

*tomorrow at lunch*

Rhys: *speaking loud on purpose* So Cassian, the rumor is you’re a very good teacher.

Elain: What are you teaching?

Cassian: *not so subtly glancing at Nesta* I’m teaching little Illyrians how to fly.

Elain: Oh that is incredible. Did you hear that, Nesta?

Nesta: *uninterested* Poor children want to learn how to fly as soon as possible so they can get away from him


Elain: Rhysand, I umm, where can I find that place where Cassian is with children?

Elain: *gets elbowed by Nesta* And, uhh, I blackmailed Nesta into coming with me.

Rhys: *looks like he’ll be sick* Meet me in two hours, I’ll fly you.

Rhys and Cassian: *gather all children possible and bribe them so they won’t say the truth*


~Draw This Again Meme || The Little Whisper~

ahahah yes, i know, i don’t have the template, too lazy to do so =>=“

Anyways! been meaning to do this in a very long time, but i couldn’t find a drawing that i wanna redraw, and i didn’t have a “good quality” art yet back then on 2016. but now! i think its pretty decent :D

These guys are my OC btw, been developing them since god knows how long! and i missed drawing em, so i thought now would be the perfect time!

Top is from 2015! bottom is current! (2017) Hope you like it!

Angel in the Darkness (M) pt.3

Originally posted by aestheticvbts

Summary: After a patient urgently pleads you to go and help a friend of his, you naively agree to it. Little did you know, that you would get more than what you agreed to, when he leads you to a brothel, to help a dangerous prostitute named Jeon Jungkook.

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader (ft. Jin, but not romantically)

Genre: Smut (M), angst, mafia!au, prostitution!au

Word Count: 5,997

part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4

I can’t believe I’m doing this again, you think to yourself. You close your eyes, and listen to the engine of the crowded bus, as you were currently on your way to pay mister ‘Kookie’ a visit. You start to slowly replay the scenes of Jin yelling at you, to desperately go back and meet the prostitute…

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