do you know how hard I work to make everyone love this little shit

''surprising'' facts about the signs
  • aries: reaaaaalllly fucking sensitive. that's maybe why they can get angry pretty fast, because they just take shit too personal sometimes, and they can't deal with it. BUT OTHER THAN THAT, they're actually fucking adorable and smol little beans who just crave love.
  • taurus: very care-free and they do not care about a single shitt. they're very hard-working though and they try to get shit done, but they are also very lazy, which isn't really surprising.. they are also very quick to anger, just like aries.
  • gemini: gemini isn't THAT two-faced like people think. they're just moody. they can get easily annoyed and that's why their mood can change pretty fast.
  • cancer: they're pretty obsessed with themselves and they can be really fucking cocky. they secretly like to make others suffer and make them feel shitty. they do it very slowly and careful though, so people won't notice it.
  • leo: really insecure, but never shows their insecure side bc they still want to shine in the spotlight, without people noticing their flaws, if they even have them because most leo's are flawless af.
  • virgo: they tend to worry a lot, still they don't really care about shit. i know that it sounds weird, but it's true! well, at least for the virgo's i know in real life. they tend to worry a lot about their work and school stuff, but they don't really do anything for it, but they also don't really care. however, they always seem to make everything perfect.
  • libra: they are reallllyyyyyy insecure in their relationships. they're usually a pro at relationships, but they are really insecure about it and they often don't know how to deal with them, or what to do with them.
  • scorpio: they are perfectionists. i don't really know if it's surprising, but they are perfectionists. i mean, they are very ambitious and that isn't a surprising fact, but just like virgo, they want everything to be perfect.
  • sagittarius: they are soft little beaaans. don't hurt them please. they seem really tough and strong, but they're realy sensitive. NEVER SHOWS IT THOUGH. you will never know when they're sad or anything, they always want to stay positive and happy, so they do.
  • capricorn: they seem to be emotionless and insensitive, but that's just because they want to be like that. they don't want all these feelings and emotions. but everyone has them, so they do too, but they try to hide it with sarcasm and sometimes even with anger.
  • aquarius: they have LOTS and LOTS of emotions floating in their head and heart and they just don't know what to do with it, so they just let their emotions destroy them, without saying a word. i don't know if it is a surprising fact, but i think it is.
  • pisces: isn't that innocent than most people think they are. they have a weapon which is called, baby face. they have this innocent little face that makes you think that they're all niceee and sweeeet buT NO. they're really good at backstabbing.
The Seventh Wheel: A Case for Black Lion Lance

Alternatively titled: Lance Deserves The World Because He is My Son and I Love Him

Okay, so Shiro’s gone and someone’s gotta fill his big ass shoes. In the toss-up between him, Allura, and Keith, I’m going to be arguing in this post that Lance could be the guy to do it. And, fair warning, this is going to be ridiculously (like, ridiculously) long lmao so here’s the TL;DR right now: I think that a) Lance already shows the character traits of a good leader, and b) there’s a good chance of him becoming one, given his impending character arc. 

It also has a chance of not happening, of course, but who cares?? I already started writing this thing, so:

Alright, let’s begin at the beginning, because that’s always a good place to start.

Lance is first introduced to the audience as the classic loud, arrogant, goofy flirt. The perfect comic relief character. He rescues a guy because his “rival” was gonna do it first and he can’t have that, the first thing he does in the giant robot cat is fart, and he hits on a girl who just fell out of a pod in a magic castle. He’s there to make you laugh.

I can’t imagine anyone looking at a character like that and “You know what? This guy could be a leader.” Allura says it herself in episode 1. The black lion is supposed to be the decisive head of Voltron, a person who’s a natural born leader, who’s in control, and,

Basically, calm, collected, and respected. “A natural born leader.” So, definitely not Lance. Case closed.

But, not really. Because Lance actually is calm and collected. He’s just not respected. He has all the leadership traits– the problem is that he’s not treated as someone who could be a leader.

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I first saw Woodstock running across a turnpike we were turning onto late one dark night in Peachtree Georgia Atlanta. Whilst we were shooting Lawless. He was a stray. 11 weeks old. Oh No we thought. Quickly Go get that dog not even sure it was a dog. Actually.  We stopped the car. It was pitch black literally. I used my phone to light the road in case a car came round the turnpike and couldn’t see me. And malletted me. And I tried to cover some ground but he was fast.  I watched this thing Running towards the highway in the pitch black making good speed towards the cars and lorries and I remember seeing what were its floppy ears bouncing towards the traffic. That dogs had it I thought. I couldn’t make out how big it was what breed it was? Nothing  just those two ears flapping away above a frantic bundle. Hurtling away from us towards impending doom that was for certain. Whatever it was had no road sense and was tearing away. I panicked a little because I couldn’t help it had no name to shout and now it was close to the freeway. I put my fingers to my mouth and I whistled. Loud as I could. The whistle pierced the black. And It stopped the dog dead in its tracks. Then it turned and set eyes on me in one swift movement the ears about faced and the dog decided to run straight at me in the darkness all flashes of teeth and snarling And shrieking. Fuck this I thought that’s not a fkn dog. What am I doing. It ran straight at me and hit me around the legs I couldn’t see but I could hear the distress and I reached down thinking I’m going to get bitten. It was so noisy shrieking. I snatched out expecting to feel teeth and grabbed a fist full of soft neck fur lifted what was actually an incredibly light weight up to my face and shone my phone at it. It was a very small bundle literally sagging from its neck fur with two big brown eyes staring straight into mine. Terrified and utterly quiet. When I got back to the car and sat in my seat he lay on my shoulder and fell asleep. And snored clearly he’d been through a lot. And now the ordeal was seemingly over enough for him to relax. Jessica asked me was he a girl or a boy. Its a boy I said. How do you know. Erm… I can feel his Woodstock. great !!! let’s call him Woodstock!!! And so it was. He was covered in dogshit. Now so was I. And we rode and We took him straight to the pet store to clean him up and buy him well things.., lots of things things dogs need and we walked the aisles the three of us letting him
Choose toys and his lead and his collar. I’ll
Never forget that night. It was wonderful. One minute he was almost dead next terrified. Then picked up by strangers then after He had a power nap in the car, the next he’s walking with his bandy leg John Wayne strut under the strip lighted aisles of this massive pet store happy and playful.
He wore a red bandana that night and from then on and drank religiously from the toilet throughout the night despite having a few bowls of water in the apartment he was every inch a survivor.  He wasnt house broken it didn’t matter we were outdoors mostly and He ate through trailer doors and made many friends and Pnut had him on the lead off set and He became our onset dog  I will always be eternally grateful to Georgia. It gave me the greatest of joys of being a dog owner  And the bestest of friends after Max had passed Woody arrived He was 11 weeks old approx. The first morning we had him. He ate a turd and we chased him to drop it but he gobbled it down because he must have thought we wanted to eat it. So he ate it as fast as he could. We just wanted him to eat some real food. He now had plenty. But there was a survivor in him. That was clear he had had to eat what he could and from then on it was clear he had food issues. But he would never go hungry again. His nickname was Yamaduki. Because he literally yammed down a duki. So Woodstock Yamaduki was his full name. Woody Thomas later Woody two shoes and Wu for short.

Woody came back to the Uk after Jess’s parents kindly looked after him to avoid quarantine they house trained him. He had my tshirt from Warrior. I picked him up from them in California when I shot Dark Knight and thanked them. He hadn’t forgotten me and despite the tireless efforts and hard work that Jessica’s Mum and husband had put into Woody he heard my whistle again and turned and ran at me and didn’t look back. I felt for them but secretly I was very happy that my friend and I were reconnected.  We all had a picnic we jumped into a lake Woody too and then it was clear Woody couldn’t swim and I hauled his ass out of the lake. Dragging him out the shit a second time cemented a pattern. I have hauled him out of rivers and ponds on many occasion since that day such was his love to chase ducks. Especially the Thames.
his rabies titer had cleared he spent a week in quarantine and he became a Londoner.

He was an Angel. And he was my best friend. We went through so much together.
Charlotte worked tirelessly with him to get him through a rough case of separation anxiety. He loved her like his Mum. And when she was pregnant he gaurded her fiercely.

He has been on many sets. Met many crews. Photo shoots premieres made many many friends he was #73 most influential animal in TIME magazine. He beat JAWS. Something we all thought was brilliant. He’s been in peaky blinders. Legend everyone who met him loved him. He didn’t have a bad bone in his body. All he knew was love.

I don’t normally speak out about family and friends but this is an unusual circumstance. Woody affected so many people in his own right so with great respect to his autonomy and as a familiar friendly face to many of you, it is with great great sadness a heavy heart that I inform you that after a very hard and short 6 month battle with an aggressive polymyostisis Woody passed away, two days ago. He was only Age 6. He was Far too young to leave us and We at home are devastated by his loss I am ultimately grateful for his loyal companionship and love and it is of some great comfort that he is no longer suffering. Above all I am completely gutted. the world for me was a better place with him in it and by my side.
To the bestest friend ever. To me and to a family who loved him beyond words and whom he loved without doubt more than I have ever known. Woody was the bestest of journey companions we ever could dream of having. Our souls intertwined forever.

A friend told me

He was special bro, a shining example of man’s best friend. He burnt very very bright and, those that burn very bright sometimes burn half as long.

Thankyou Woody for choosing to find us. We will love you and be with you and you with us forever. Never ever ever forgotten. Your Boy tom xxx I love you beyond words. To the moon and back again and again to
Infinity and beyond. Run with Max now and the Angels. I will see you when I get there.
With all of me I love you. Always Thankyou for
Your love beautiful boy.

episode one :: Yuuri Katsuki is the most beautiful disaster that Victor has ever met in his entire life, and Victor has built his empire on beautiful disasters.



Victor isn’t sure he knows what he’s doing anymore by the time casting rolls around for season 22 of The Bachelor.  Okay, he knows what he’s doing, but it’s all autopilot.  He’s got a dossier of Chip Vanderbones and Tad Hardbeefs to look at, but is almost resigned enough to just give into Lilia and Yakov’s suggestion to cast Georgi Popovich, notorious histrionic Bachelorette season 10 runner-up, as this season’s lead out of sheer notgivingafuckness.  At this point Victor isn’t even sure whether he really wants to be in this game at all anymore, but what the hell else he would do besides sleep for a thousand years if he retired before thirty?  

And then Phichit Chulanont comes into his office to distract him during a conference call with Yakov to tell him a story about his friend who just crashed and burned at the Figure Skating Grand Prix Finals, and everything click click clicks into place: redemption narrative.  Twenty young men are going for the gold, but only one can win the heart of Yuuri Katsuki– he can hear the promos, see the character arcs unfold, and the narratives rush through him like they’ve always lived inside him and it feels–exciting.  

“Phichit,” Victor says suddenly, interrupting Phichit and grabbing him from across his desk.  “We have to get him.  He’s our next bachelor.”

“Oh my God,” Phichit replies, eyes widening, and then again, “Oh my God.

“Do you think you could get him?” Victor asks.  He’s seeing figure skating dates, thematic destination shoots in Chile and Finland and Iceland, “The Bachelor: Love on Ice” title screen flashing over two champagne glasses on the lip of an outdoor hot tub.  

“Do I think I can get him,” Phichit repeats dismissively, looking the closest to offended that Victor has ever seen him.  “What do you think you hired me for, Nikiforov.”

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YOU KNOW WHAT MAKES ME CRY EVERY 1AM?

Knowing that Haechan is suffering quietly. The whole fandom knows he’s a savage and a little devil. But he’s the MOST sensitive among all of them. Yes he says he’s proud about his skin color, but it doesn’t mean that he won’t get hurt when people are saying shit about him. Okay, he’s not the type of handsome you’ll appeciate at 1st look like Taeyong, but the more you look at him the more handsome he gets. And now the rumour died down BUT THE DAMAGE HAS BEEN DONE MY BABY ISN’T SMILING ANYMORE. Then I’d remember the radio show where Jaehyun and Johnny chose Mark over Haechan. Like I mean I get that they’re the foreign swaggers so they have a different bond and I also know that despite that they love Haechan too. BUT DO YOU EVER THINK THAT DONGHYUCK WOULD LAUGH ABOUT IT BUT DEEP INSIDE HE’S LIKE “I know I’ll never be as precious as Mark hyung” BECAUSE I THINK ABOUT THAT EVERY 1AM. BUT DOYOUNG MESSAGED AND SAID HE LOVES DONGHYUCK JUST MUCH AS HE LOVES MARK. You know why? Because Doyoungie knows Haechan would get sad about it. BECAUSE JUST LIKE HC, DY IS A MOOD MAKER AND IS SENSITIVE TOO. HE KNOWS WHAT HC FEELS. Everyone knows that Mark is treasured by everyone even the dreamies but then they’d only think of Donghyuck as savage and quirky but never as precious as Mark. And after the controversy Haechan might be thinking that “I didn’t do anything bad but I got this much hate and I hate myself more because I let this happen and it reflects badly towards NCT. Why can’t I be Mark hyung? He went to School Rapper and made everyone love him and NCT’s popularity increased bc of him but me? I’m nothing” but then he’d catch himself getting jealous but he won’t be jealous because HE LOVES MARK SO MUCH. HOW CAN HE BE JEALOUS WHEN AT THE SAME TIME HE LOVES MARK LEE. SO. FUCKING. MUCH? And that Mark loves him so much too? Don’t you think Mark feels bad for Haechan sometimes bc he always get the spotlight when he knows Donghyuck deserves it too? Donghyuck worked so so so hard. AND YET HIS FANCAMS ARE THE LEAST VIEWED EVEN AFTER MY FIRST AND LAST ERA. He makes sure his good points are seen on TV to prove that he’s not only a little devil but a good dongsaeng and hyung too. He works so hard in singing, dancing & variety. Most especially variety bc it’s the only thing he might be number one out of all the members. It took him 2 debuts and 2 comebacks to earn people’s attention and love AND ONE FUCKING RUMOR ENDED EVERYTHING JUST LIKE THAT.

You know what? Don’t mind me. I’m just on my period.

Homestuck Pool Party Headcanons

John: Canonballs in IMMEDIATELY, he is yelling and he is fucking excited move out of the way this boy is coming through!! Also, because he has a breath aspect I am 413% certain that he can stay underwater for indefinite amounts of time and you can bet your ass he’s going around grabbing people’s feet to freak them out. He and Terezi have a contest to see who can make the most people jump, I will not say who wins I will only say that it is unfortunate for everyone involved. He and Dave are an unstoppable chicken team, they have never lost and will do Whatever It Takes to make sure that remains true.

Dave: Is just chillin, he cares more about keeping his shades dry than swimming around. He will go hard as hell in Marco Polo tho, if you thought he was too cool to jump at the nearest person faster than the speed of light you were wrong buddy he will do what it takes to WIN. Also, when he is the Marco he will (unfairly) target Karkat. This is frustrating. “I’m not even being that loud” Karkat protests for the umpteenth time Dave tags him. “Bullshit” everyone else says, but there’s still a rule that Dave can’t tag Karkat more than five times in a row because really Dave we know you love hearing him yell but Enough Please.

Karkat: Is Bad At Marco Polo. He is so loud. My son. Please. Is very hesitant to get into the water at first bc he’s sensitive to the cold and would rather angrily sweat than deal with the initial shock of getting in. Dave will patiently chill nearby until Karkat is ready, or Dave decides that Karkat is ready in which he will absolutely drag him in. Karkat does not know how to swim so he won’t go past the shallow end, and considering how short he is, uh, that’s not very much of the pool. Dave has to carry him sometimes which he complains about A Lot but secretly kind of likes it whoops. Karkat and Sollux are the shittiest chicken team, Karkat is too afraid of falling in to have any sort of effective strategy and Sollux is like “Karkat just push him” and sort of plows into the other team which just leads to Karkat screeching and nothing gets done.

Roxy: LOVES SWIMMING WITH HER FRIENDS!!! Real people?? That she’s hanging out with?? And you KNOW she’s excited to wear that cute as fuck bikini she alchemized months ago ‘just in case’ ;) ;) ;). After years of knowing Jane and her silly prankster shenanigans, John will absolutely not get the drop on her no sir, he tries to grab her foot she will raise that leg and pull the boy out of the water and give him the Mom Look™. This is war. John will not win. She loves being with Jane and Roxy and her boys!! She is just full of so much love it’s incredible. She deserves this so much.

Calliope: Doesn’t know much about swimming or why humans (and trolls ish) find it so enjoyable, but Roxy is excited so she is too! Interestingly enough, cherubs Do Not Float. Roxy is waving a nervous Callie into the pool and she’s coming down the ladder and once it gets to her chin everyone expects her to do something but no, she makes it to the bottom of the pool and just walks like normal over to where Roxy is. The water level comes up to just below her nose and she has to tilt her head back to speak. “Like this?” She asks excitedly, ‘uh,,, yeah,,,like that’ everyone responds nervously, giving big smiles and thumbs up because they don’t want to disappoint her.

Jade: A master swimmer, she and Jake grew up on an island in the middle of the goddamn pacific my girl knows how to GO. No one realized how fucking ripped Jade was. Jade is ripped as heck. She’s got back and shoulder muscles like an absolute goddess and everyone is like holy shit? Jade? Have you been benching pumpkins all these years? She likes chilling with Jane and Roxy and Calliope because she has been longing for some gals to hang with forever. Not that she doesn’t love Rose, she does, it’s just, they have such differing personalities and anyways it’s kind of hard being around her and Kanaya bc they’re so cute it makes your teeth hurt.

Rose: She and Kanaya have matching floppy sun hats, they love laying out in the sun because Kanaya is a little nervous around water thanks to a certain sea-dweller *cough* eridan *cough*. Rose doesn’t mind, her swimsuits are more for show than swim anyways. She’s got some really cool and intricate goth-y ones and some nice lighthearted pastel ones, an orange and yellow fancy one-piece and a frilly lavender one. Rose has a new appreciation for sunlight but still religiously applies sunscreen because a home girl may be immortal, but fuck if she is gonna deal with any nasty sunburns after defeating the fucking embodiment of evil.

Kanaya: As previously stated, very nervous around water, but so so happy to be in the sun?? It’s not as bright as the one on Alternia which is fine because that means her troll friends can enjoy it too, but she’s literally just so happy to be around people that enjoy the sun the way she does because she’s felt wrong and different about it for years and she finally found someone that understands her ahhshshsjs. She designs all of Rose’s swimsuits and loves seeing her wear them. When it gets dark out, she likes to turn on the glow a little and all these cute little furry wingbeasts will flock to her?? “Those are moths” Rose tells her. “These are my children now” Kanaya pats Rose’s arm, they’re her children too because that’s how human marriage works she’s pretty sure

Dirk: Is so awkward oh my godddd, a little uncomfortable in his body actually? This boy might have muscle but he is all arms and legs and doesn’t know what to do with them because he’s never fuckifnfnfn been around people before. Doesn’t say “Marco” during Marco Polo, he just listens. Breath too loud? You’re tagged. Splash a little? Tagged. Move? Tagged. He’s never Marco for more than two minutes because he’s so in tune with his reflexes that no one even stands a chance. With Jake on his shoulders, they make a decent chicken team, but they’re too worried about each other to be effective. “You okay up there?” He wants to make sure. Someone is tipping Jake over oh no get him off my shoulders is he okay, oh he’s fine, yes I know how the game works Roxy, no Rose why don’t you get in the pool and do a better job before you come for me like that. Rose and Kanaya, in an extremely rare occurrence, do get in for a round of chicken. They beat Dirk and Jake almost immediately. They return to the deck. This never happened and we don’t speak of it.

Jake: Is bad at Marco Polo, he’s an amazing swimmer but he’s not…quiet. After growing up on that island, fighting and swimming, Jake is also Ripped as Heck. Dirk blushes his fucking ass off the first time he sees Jake shirtless. Jake acts all clueless like oh? What’s wrong Dirk? Is something the matter? But he knows exactly what he’s doing and if he’s subtly flexing in front of him, well. That can’t be helped. He may suck during chicken with Dirk, but with Jade on his shoulders? Hoo boy, they give Dave and John a run for their money. He is also John’s favorite to grab the feet of because his reactions are always so over the top with his phrasing. “Horsefeathers!” He grabs at his foot in panic because his first thought is it was one of the monsters from his island, then he sees it was just John who is laughing his ass off because, horse feathers? Really? “I say,” Jake huffs indignantly even though he’s smiling now. “Warn a fellow!”

Jane: Looks rockin’ in her swimsuits because she’s wearing the whole high waisted pinup style ones and?? She’s super gorgeous? Roxy makes sure to tell her that every five seconds just in case she forgets. She and Roxy make a decent chicken team, usually they’re laughing so hard by the end of it that whoever was on top can’t do anything and they fall off because they don’t care about winning they’re just having such a good time. She and Roxy take turns carrying Callie around when the water gets too deep, not that Callie needs to be above the water per se as she seems to have no trouble breathing, but it just makes everyone a little more comfortable and anyways Callie loves it.

Terezi: Killer at Marco Polo for obvious reasons, sometimes she gets tagged on purpose just to show off how quickly she can find people. The only person she’s never been able to get is John, he uses his windy powers to obscure his scent so she can’t “see” him. He is her Marco Polo white whale. One day, John, one day. She and Vriska are terrifying during chicken, Vriska will plow full speed towards the opposing team and Terezi is ready to Throw Hands. The most intense games are between them and John and Dave, both John and Terezi are on top and they fuckin battle it out so hard that Dave and even Vriska start to get nervous on the bottom.

Sollux: Says the water feels slimy. “No shit,” Karkat tells him. “It’s water you fucking shitstain.” Sollux cheats during chicken by using his psiionics to keep Karkat on his shoulders which only makes Karkat mad because he’s terrified of falling in and holy shit Sollux I don’t care what you think your powers are doing I’m gonna fall in fuck fuck fuck. “No I got you” Sollux assures him. He does not. Karkat is not got. Oh well. Sollux mostly likes chilling on inner tubes, plural. He has a blue one and a red one because he’s too tall to fit in just one. “Get a bigger inner tube” Karkat complains. “Perhaps get one of those long, recliner like ones?” Kanaya suggests. No. Sollux will use two inner tubes. He will make the sacrifice of comfort for his aesthetic.

Let’s Get Something Straight.

LET HUFFLEPUFFS HAVE A RESTING BITCH FACE. LET HUFFLEPUFFS BE FIREY AND PASSIONATE. LET HUFFLEPUFFS BE INCREDIBLY WITTY AND STUDIOUS. LET HUFFLEPUFFS GET INTO FIST FIGHTS.

LET HUFFLEPUFFS BE MORE THAN FICKLE, POLITE, PACIFIST, HAPPY-GO-LUCKY, BLITHE, AND APPROACHABLE. BEING A HUFFLEPUFF IS MORE THAN LOOKING INNOCENT AND SWEET.

I am a Hufflepuff with a horrible resting bitch face. I am a Hufflepuff who people see as unapproachable. I am a Hufflepuff with strong beliefs and passion.

The traits found in Hufflepuff are listed below:

  • Dedication
  • Hard Work
  • Fair play
  • Patience
  • Kindness
  • Tolerance
  • Unafraid of toil
  • Loyalty

Hufflepuffs are dedicated. They are dedicated to their studies, their friends, their families, their hobbies- Hufflepuffs show dedication to the things they love. They don’t dedicate themselves to be praised. it is a self sacrificing quality, much like the rest of the Hufflepuff House traits. Dedication goes hand-in-hand with hard work. It’s enduring when shit hits the fan, it’s getting out of bed when all you want to do is sleep, it’s not accepting handouts, it’s becoming successful through honest work. Hufflepuffs get the most out of working hard, not smart. This isn’t because they aren’t smart, it’s because they believe it benefits them more. Hardwork brings knowledge. They learn how to fight with integrity to get what they want. They most definitely aren’t ones to cheat. Given the choice between cheating and failure, they would choose failure.

Patience is a virtue. I don’t take this to mean that Hufflepuffs don’t mind waiting around if a friend is running late, it means that Hufflepuffs are more willing than most to put a cap on their temperament. Hufflepuffs don’t get bothered easy. Whether it’s from natural ability or a constantly running internal monologue keeping them from blowing a fuse, they manage to handle adversity with as much dignity and grace as they can muster. I think it’s hard to tell what a Hufflepuff is thinking because they keep their opinions to themselves unless asked to express it. Patience has nothing to do with passion. A Hufflepuff is a master at picking their battles. They know what’s worth losing their temper over.  

Kindness: benevolent, intended for benefits rather than profit, loving, expressing goodwill. Who the fuck wants to be mean and rude all the time to everyone? Being kind does not mean being pushover. When did it become taboo to be kind? Why is being edgy all the sudden associated with being rude, pretentious, mean and cynical? Being kind is sincerely asking someone “how are you?” and being unafraid to receive an honest and drawn out response. Being kind is being a good listener, helping people for their benefit and not your own, it’s picking up trash in the movie theater so that the staff has less to clean. Being kind is leaving sweet, anonymous notes for people just to make their day a little bit better. Being kind is reveling in making someone smile or laugh. Being kind is smiling back when someone smiles at you. To be benevolent, to be nice, to be kind pushes away all self interest. It’s a selfless trait.

Tolerance is just nodding along with some gun slinging, homophobic, misogynistic jerk rambling about how Donald Trump will make America “great again”, even though you strongly disagree. Hufflepuffs, if you’ll notice, get along with virtually each house. They do not take it upon themselves to judge. Hufflepuffs are masters at accepting things that they cannot change; they cope well with diversity. If someone came up to a Hufflepuff and said that they were a supporter of pure-blood supremacy, the Hufflepuff would nod, say something (passive but sincere) along the lines of “that’s an interesting opinion,” then carry on with their day. Though they may not be at all happy about what was said, they do not take it upon themselves to get everyone to see the way that they see things. You can’t force people to listen. It’s not that Hufflepuffs don’t have opinions, they do, but, as the saying goes, “Opinions are like assholes, everybody has one.” They find that people respect your opinion and ask for it more when you present a judgement free environment for them.

This house is loyal. They’re a tolerant bunch, sure, but they will not tolerate bullies. It’s their sense of fraternity and loyalty that gives Hufflepuff something worth fighting for. It wouldn’t surprise me to see a Hufflepuff seventh year getting into a fist fight with a Ravenclaw seventh year because the Ravenclaw was making snarky remarks about a first year getting sorted into Hufflepuff. Hufflepuffs will argue, punch, kick, pull hair and scream if you somehow hurt someone they hold dear to them.  Don’t forget how fucking raw Badgers are. They’re one of the most fearless animals in the animal kingdom. This can maybe be seen as a flaw, however. In Goblet of Fire, the Hufflepuff House got so caught up in the competition between Cedric and Harry, good judgement was blurred by their unwavering loyalty. This brings me to believe that Hufflepuffs, if sufficiently provoked, can attack with the most underhanded and vicious insults ever. I don’t think it would be wise to bring a Hufflepuff to their breaking point in hopes of seeing this animosity. In most circumstances, however, loyalty is a virtue.  

I am so sick of the stigma that Hufflepuffs are these soft little balls of dough that are just so lukewarm compared to the other houses. Need I remind y’all that Hufflepuffs fought at the Battle of Hogwarts without hesitation? They rose to the occasion, they weren’t indifferent about the situation at hand at all- they were selfless, they were fearless. They fought because they loved their school, their friends, their teachers, and because it was the right thing to do.

  • Kindness should not be mistaken for weakness.
  • Tolerance should not be mistaken for neutrality
  • Patience should not be mistaken for dispassion
  • Loyalty gives them reason to fight
  • Hardwork and dedication make them goal-oriented
  • Fair play does not mean there is a lack of initiative

A Hufflepuff is not a clone of the Pillsbury Dough Boy. Hufflepuffs can have strong opinions, be passionate, reckless, brave, and enterprising.

Because Helga Hufflepuff didn’t sort her students by a particular aptitude, Hufflepuff should be one of the most diverse houses in Hogwarts. So don’t generalize all Hufflepuffs to fit the “looks like a cinnamon roll and is a cinnamon roll” archetype. Hufflepuffs can be fierce as fuck.

Pyramid Scheme scammer ends up paying in the end!

(very long story)

About 6 or 7 years ago, I was trying to enlist into the military. I ended up not joining but that’s a story for another time. At this point, I was led to believe I was about 4 months away from leaving for Boot camp. I was running out of savings, and needing a part time job for some spending cash while I waited around.

So I did what any enterprising 20something would do, and searched craigslist for jobs. I normally hate sales jobs, especially those based on commissions, but figured it would be a great way to earn some extra cash short term. Found a few job listings that looked promising, and put out some applications. A few days later I received a call from David. He was opening up a new store and needed associates. He liked my resume and asked if I’d be available for an interview on Friday morning. I was very up front with him, and let him know that the distance was a bit more than I’d normally drive for a retail job, and asked what he was offering for an hourly rate, to see if it was worth the drive. He told me that they were planning on offering an hourly rate in the mid teens, along with commission. Seemed like an ok deal, so I agreed to be there Friday at 8am.

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hugealienpie  asked:

I see prompts are open yay! Please tell me all about Ford finding out about Bitty and Jack.

Ooh, this is interesting, because I don’t feel like it’d be an announcement, but just something Ford finds out when Jack visits or the like. I mean, it could go the other way, like Lardo could be, “heads up, Bitty’s dating our ex-captain” and Ford would be like, “okay? why are you telling me?” (She’s a theatre background, what is a Bad Bob to her?) I think she’d be pretty chill with it, and coming from theatre, like being gay is not an issue, esp in college (and even at the professional level) and esp if we go with the oft reblogged “Ford is gay” headcanon.

But here is a small fic that is only half based on the above…

Ford double checks the dozens of pages Lardo has given her for the upcoming roadie. She thought dealing with dressing room allocation was hard (and it is, one hundred percent) but figuring out room allocations is somehow worse, particularly when she’s new, and hockey players are more superstitious than the girl who played Johanna in Sweeney.

“So, who was it I’m meant to pair Oliver with?” Ford asks, grabbing for the red pen she’d stuck into her bun earlier. She comes out with a green one. It’ll do.

“Wicks. But really, he’d be fine with any of the guys in his year.”

Ford makes a note on one of the pages. “Okay, then I think I’m–Oh, shit.”

“What is it?” Lardo looks up from her sketchbook.

Ford double checks through all her sheets before she says anything. She’s not worrying, because there’s no time for that, she’s just already hating the amount of extra work she’ll need to do to fix things.

“I’ve left Eric, um, Bitty,” Ford corrects herself, still getting used to hockey nicknames, “off the rooming list.”

“Oh, that. Nah, you’re good.” Lardo goes back to her drawing. “He stays with his boyfriend when we’re playing up there.”

“Boyfriend?” Ford double-checks.

“Yeah. He’s in Providence. And he’ll drive Bitty to the games and practices and stuff. Should’ve emailed you that. My bad.”

“That’s fine.” Ford grabs another pen from her hair, forgetting she already has one in front of her. It’s red this time. “Just thought I was going to have to redo an entire afternoon’s worth of work.”

“Right,” Lardo says. “I can see why the minor freak out.”

“Excuse you, I did not freak out.” It’s half a lie. Ford has so many notes on these sheets, but she’s not freaking out, she’s managing. It’s all part of it.

Lardo looks up and smiles at her. “Knew you’d be fine at this.”

Ford takes the compliment with a gracious nod, and goes back to ticking off the rooming list against the team names. All accept Eric.

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The Club (M)

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader
Genre: Smut with a dash of fluff.
Word count: 3.6k 

Part one: Kitchen Counter, Part two: Laundry Room.

» Song: Love In This Club part II

Summary: ”Or we can just do it here.“ He hummed, his fingers immediately latching onto his belt and working as quickly as ever to get it loose. “Jeon Jungkook,” You quietly scolded with a laugh, placing a hand over his and looked around. “People can see you.” Once you looked back down at him, he shook his head slowly, “It doesn’t matter, baby,” He reasoned, his tongue flickering over his lips. “Everyone’s wasted, I promise. I just…I want you so bad.” 


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Seventeen as the Mafia + How He Met You

||| Requested by @dreamiedragon |||


S.Coups/Choi Seungcheol

Originally posted by sevixxteen

  • That type of leader that doesn’t take shit from anyone, except his members because he can’t fight them all at once. 
  • Gets to know and observes people for a long time before recruiting them
  • He’s very stressed lately as they are a relatively new gang and there are a lot of fights going on with others for territories.

He met you in one these fights when you tried to make a distraction for your gang. You were about to go upstairs to the roof when you bumped into him

“Who the hell are you?” he asked immediately taking his gun out and pointing it at you.

“The same goes for you. You’re not from my gang so I’m here to kill you.”

“Oh really.” he asked smacking the gun from your hand and getting your hands behind your back. “You chose the wrong member. You see I’m the boss and now I can use you as a hostage.”


Yoon Jeonghan

Originally posted by visual-17

  • Looks like an angel and he actually is but in reality he’s the one you should be afraid of the most.
  • Nobody has seen him kill anybody because his methods are too cruel to do them in public.
  • Apparently has some beef with EXO’s Sehun. No one dares ask him but it has something to do with Sehun mistaking him for somebody.

By accident you got involved in a weapon dealing incident with him and he has been planing on killing you ever since. You were good at hiding your tracks but he saw you one day in the city and decided to get rid of you just there in the street but then realized that this fight would probably end up in a blood bath so instead he approached you in secret.

“You have to keep quite and come with me, if you don’t want to die here.” he said pressing his gun to your back.


Joshua/Hong Jisoo

Originally posted by jihanlife

  • Nobody knows why he’s in the gang as he was never invited.
  • When Seungcheol first noticed Jisoo he thought he’s a spy or something (as he appeared out of nowhere) and was about to kill him when he promised that he’s good at at least something
  • And he was, to everyone’s surprise Jisoo’s aim and accuracy is the best out of all of them that’s why he prefers snipers.

He was told to get rid of you silently but you noticed him at the last second and he missed the shot causing a massive panic in the street. You used this opportunity to escape which made Jisoo even more angry. He hasn’t missed a shot in a long time and was determined to get you for that. But whenever he thought he got you cornered he somehow managed to miss and after a while he started to enjoy this little game of yours and soon realized that he doesn’t even want to kill you anymore.


Jun/Wen Junhui

Originally posted by jisoos-princess

  • Pro at hand to hand combat.
  • Trains all the members and teaches them different fighting techniques just in case.
  • His training routine is no joke and everyone is practically dead after it.

He met you before he joined the gang. You were jogging at the same park every morning. As it was really early and not a lot of people were out it became like a habit for him to greet you before he ran past. Eventually he wanted to engage in not only small talk and find out more about you and he started slowing down every single day till he was running at the same pace as you.

“Finally decided to slow down?” you asked.

“Only for you.” he winked.


Hoshi/Kwon Soonyoung

Originally posted by fyhoshi

  • Experimented a lot and finally came up with his own method to make drugs.
  • They were incredibly popular and so he quickly went up the ranks and now whenever there is deal going on it has to go through him first.
  • His first idea was to make poison but he somehow made drugs so nowadays he likes mixing different ingredients to try to create a new deadly weapon.

You had the audacity to attempt to take his throne as the king of drug dealing. You were stubborn and despite a lot of orders to report what you’re doing, you made your way around and stole half of his clients. He had enough and thought that the easiest way to fix this problem would be to get rid of you. But he had no idea you thought the same thing and somehow got his whole warehouse blown up. He caught you outside.

“You little shit, now you will have to take responsibility and I’m not letting you go any time soon.”


Jeon Wonwoo

Originally posted by visual-17

  • Likes money. A lot. And doesn’t like sharing. At all.
  • Easiest way for him to get rich was cards that’s why he started gambling at a really young age and now is a pro at it and is amazing at bluffing.
  • Enjoys tricking his own gang members and actually gets the most money out of them.

Played poker with him once. He lost. Now he wants his money back but you keep denying his challenge. He usually shows up at the most random places just to ask you. You got into your car and almost spilled your coffee when you noticed him sitting in the back seat.

“Wonwoo what the fuck?”

“Come on Y/N, let’s play.”

“Can you get over that already? Get the hell out of my car.”

“I guess I have to take some more drastic measures.” he said taking his gun out. “We’re going to my place.” [x]


Kim Mingyu

Originally posted by fuckyeahmingyu

  • Can smuggle anything in and out starting from stolen cars and ending with guns.
  • Doesn’t stay in the city for too long as he always has deals all around the country.
  • But when he comes back everyone is extremely happy to see him as he’s mostly chill and just being near him calms the others down.

He met you when he was away on a trip. You asked him for help when your car broke down and he fell in love at first sight. He stayed in the city for more than two months just to keep seeing you and you eventually became good friends when Seungcheol was done with him ignoring his orders and went to get him back himself. Well Mingyu obviously didn’t want to leave you but you didn’t want to go to another city either so he decided to be blunt.

“Y/N I don’t know how you feel about me but love you so I’m sorry but you have only two choices, you either go with me on your own free will or I take you by force.”

 

Woozi/Lee Jihoon

Originally posted by seungcheofine

  • Somehow the ones who look the most innocent are the most dangerous in this gang. The same goes for Woozi. But he only uses violence when it’s necessary.
  • His specialty - torture. Favourite methods - teeth and fingernails pulling.
  • He charms his targets with his cute appearance and then gets every last bit of information they can muster.

You were unfortunate enough to be his target. You were screaming in pain for at least and hour, swearing that you don’t know anything when Seungcheol came in and told him that they got the wrong person. He set his tools aside and stood in silence for a few minutes.

“Fuck!” he shouted shoving everything from the table. You just watched in horror not knowing what’s going to happen next. He turned around and untied you. He was ashamed of himself and couldn’t look you in the eyes.

“At least let me treat you your wounds.”


DK/Lee Seokmin

Originally posted by livinthediamondlife

  • Is responsible for looking after the gang territories and making sure they don’t get taken over.
  • Usually doesn’t think twice when someone trespasses and just shoots them on the spot.
  • But still has incredibly good and friendly relationships with the residence of the areas he’s taking care of.

Trying to bypass through his territories was a big mistake. He noticed you’re not a local and decided to find out what you’re doing here. 

“Hey you!” he called you over but you just looked at him and started running. 

“What the heck?!” he thought as he started chasing you. You didn’t know the streets well and ended up in a dead end.

“I got you cornered. Now you’re going to tell me what you’re doing here or I will have to use violence.”


The8/Xu Minghao

Originally posted by mountean

  • He’s great at annoying and pissing everybody off easily but it’s hard to catch him as he’s incredibly fast.
  • That’s why they send him when their is a need to infiltrate, spy or track anybody.
  •  That doesn’t always work out as he likes to make either a grand entrance or exit and by doing that he attracts the attention of anybody nearby.

He was following you to get some information when he lost you. Suddenly he felt a knife press into his back.

“Why are you after me? Who hired you?”

He tried to take you by surprise by turning around and taking the knife out of your hands but he lost his balance and fell on top of you.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” you asked.

“Well this is quite the unfortunate situation you got yourself in.” he smirked. “If you promise not to make a scene our meeting won’t take long.”


Boo Seungkwan

Originally posted by infinitblaq

*Jun shows up out of nowhere*

  • One of the first members who joined and everybody is thankful for that every single day because they wouldn’t have got where they are without him.
  • The missions he plans have a 99% chance of success.
  • Failure is not an option for him so he makes detailed strategies for all type of possible scenarios.

What a surprise You showed up at the wrong place at the wrong time and ruined all his perfect planing. The members haven’t seen him this pissed in a long time when he grabbed you and almost dragged you to one of the rooms. He roughly pushed you inside and you almost tripped on your own legs but his gentleman side couldn’t let a lady fall in front of him even when he was angry so he caught you midair and watched how confused you became by the second.

“Sit.” he said pulling you up and pointing you to the chair. “We have to talk.”


Hansol Vernon

Originally posted by sneezes

  • Knows anything and everything and the others should learn from him how to get verified information as fast as he gets.
  • Good with electronics that’s why he never goes anywhere without his trusted computer.
  • Despite some members protests he tends to sell the rarest info for big amounts of money to the other gangs.

He find out about you when he wanted to sell some info but the gang told him they already have what they need. Surprised that somebody besides him found it, he was determined to track you down. He was even more shocked when he saw that you’re a woman as there was not a lot of them in the industry.

“What? You think only men can do this type of work?”

“No but I find the women who do incredibly sexy.”


Dino/Lee Chan

Originally posted by dino-net

  • Despite being the youngest he knew about the mafia world the most.
  • His father had a gang and was killed during a deal so he asked Seungcheol for help to someday avenge him.
  • Takes all advice given to him very seriously and tries his best to help.

Some trusted former members of his father gang were asked to take care of him so that’s why you followed him and also joined this gang. He found this annoying as he wanted to escape his past and always treated you harshly but when he noticed that you’re not around anymore he got kind of sad. But to his delight you came back after a few weeks after taking care of business.

“Missed me?” You smirked.

“Please don’t ever do that again.” he said, giving you a surprise hug.


A/N: I wonder if I should make a masterlist but I’m so lazyyy… Anyhow, feel free to request more scenarios, reactions etc. I keep up with a lot of groups, both male and female!! 😄

Suga Daddy

Suga Daddy

Word count: 7.8k

Genre: smut

Yoongi gives you an offer you can’t refuse

This idea was loosely based on this vine. I just really wanted a daddy Yoongi story :) 

Also, i’m sure this title is used all the time but it was too perfect. This is my first Yoongi fic so let me know what you think.

{Playlist} Parts: one | two | three | four | five | six 

You had just gotten to back from class to your duplex. You lived in a very nice part of town for almost a year now. It was strange, even after ten months you were still getting used to all this. You’d come from a pretty wealthy family, but when you decided that you were going to go to school for dance and not to medical school your parents cut you off.

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breaking the cycle: gotg2 and the theme of toxic masculinity

It’s taken me, oh, about a month to organize my thoughts on this and they’re still a mess, but I have all these snippets in my head about how GOTG2 deconstructs toxic masculinity, and hey! you’re gonna get them now

Toxic masculinity is basically the concept that socializing men and boys to be a certain ‘masculine’ way, and criticizing them or ridiculing them when they fail to live up to these (often impossible or even abusive) standards, is ultimately harmful to everyone, men and women alike. Ever wonder why you flinch at dudes yelling “man up!” to their crying young sons instead of comforting them? Yeah, that’s why.

Anyway, regarding GOTG: a lot of this stuff revolves around Yondu and the Yondu-Peter relationship, but also (I totally love this) a large portion of it also revolves around a white, straight, able-bodied man who is quite literally called ‘Ego’. spoilers follow, naturally-

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a love spell, or something like it

inspired by a post sara reblogged (this one, specifically) and the resulting conversation about different love spells, where she suggested i write the fic. i said no, go away, it’s late. then i stayed up and wrote the fic.

This doesn’t make any sense.

Though they’d never admit it—Dean especially would never admit it—they’re practically witches themselves at this point. Sam isn’t deluded enough to think otherwise. He has a fair share of spells up his sleeve that he knows by heart by now, a few more he’s working on remembering, and some he still struggles with the incantation, but at the end of the day they frequently speak Latin and throw herbs into flames, so, logically, they’re witches, or close enough to it.

And it’s because of this (and his own unfortunate experience that no one must ever speak of again, thanks) that Sam knows a love spell when he sees one.

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anonymous asked:

do you know any good altean!lance and galra!keith fics??

ohhhkayyy, god damn, like tumblr crashed on me as I was like 3 fics away from finishing this so I had to like start all over, like rip me.

and, I don’t have many altean lance fics so most of this is galra Keith and pretty much all angsty. I tried to find some less angsty ones, I don’t know how well I succeeded xD.

Note: I’ll be starting weekly fic recs in April. just and fyi~


Warmth by Rahar_Moonfire

Summary: Lance is Allura’s younger brother. During the mission to retrieve the Red Lion from Galra hands, he gets captured. His guard is a curious Galra halfbreed named Keith who may just be his ticket to freedom. He’s a bit small for an alpha, but Lance is sure he can handle it. A little flirting never hurt anyone after all. The fact Keith is good looking for a Galra and those ears wiggle (so cute!) doesn’t influence this decision. Nope. Not one bit.
Series: 4 Works
            Work 1 WC: 61497 (19/19)
            Work 2 WC: 111883 (32/32)
            Work 3 WC: 133875 (42/42)
            Work 4 WC: 71480 (21/?)
Notes: THIS IS LIKE THE ONLY FIC I HAVE WITH ALTEAN!LANCE AND GALRA!KEITH. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME. gahgldfkjhsa;d, ok so this is just an amazing series, some nsfw tossed in btw, youve been wared. but over all, i just love this series so much and i need to like catch really bad… i didnt know work3 or 4 even existed… >.< 11/10

Echoes of the Past by Gigapoodle

Summary: It was his fault. He shouldn’t have retreated – he should have ran after them, Galra forces be damned, and ripped the red paladin right out of his weaponized hands, shooting the commander dead on the spot.But he hadn’t. Lance stood there, frozen with adrenaline and fear, before backing out with tears in his eyes, justifying it to himself by saying, ‘he won’t get far, we can easily get him back once I have Voltron with me.’He’d forgotten they didn’t have Voltron. He’d forgotten that without Keith, Voltron was nothing.Keith is Galra. Keith is gone. Keith is Galra. Keith is gone.
WC: 28197
Notes: -hands over some tissues- here you will need these. 100/10

I Was Born A Lion by spectralPhobia

Summary: After Keith discovers he is part Galra and Red lion rejects him, there’s only one way he can make himself useful: to join Galra and try to wreck them from the inside, while figuring out a relationship with a guy who turns out to be his biological father.
A comic about one stubborn man’s self-discovery, the challenges of spying, everyone in team Voltron being BAMF, and the universe that needs saving, as usual.
WC: comic, so no words counted by AO3 (11/?)
Notes: Galra Keith because Thace is some kinda of scientist? Uhm yes please. 10/10

your claws in me by burlesquecomposer

Summary: “Oh trust me. When I’m done with you, I won’t be able to stop laughing,” Lance says lowly, and his lips curl farther, and there’s something wild in his stare, and it hits Keith suddenly.This isn’t Lance.
Lance falls under the control of Zarkon’s Druids, and although his friends manage to get him back, nothing is quite the same. Maybe the Galra succeeded after all. Maybe the Galra merely wanted to tear Team Voltron apart from the inside.
WC: 49072 (12/12)
Notes: Rip Lance tbh, this is like really angsty and my heart breaks for Lance. but yes, galra keith is there to save the day~ 10/10

This House Unfinished by boyghosts

Summary: “Concept,” Lance said, his voice heavy and gutted with the ache of it; he caught Keith’s gaze and smiled wide, for show. “The war’s over. We’re back home. All the things we love in one place.”Lance keeps losing the things he’s built. Then there’s Keith.
WC: 30776
Notes: -cackles- have some tissues my friend 100/10

Dancing Lion, Painted Wings by genericfanatic

Summary: Years after peace has been made between the Galran and Altean kingdoms, The witch Haggar comes for vengeance. The young symbol of peace, the half-galran, half-altean Prince Kalor is lost. His aunt, Princess Allura, and his bodyguard, Shiro, are heartbroken.10 years later, an orphan named Keith sets out on his own, trying to find the key to his past. All he has to help him is a small figurine with a cryptic message, a friendly engineer, a technician and her friendly robot, and a cocky con man with a mysterious, yet familiar past.
WC: 35154 (14/14)
Notes: the anastasia au everyone talks about. and like galtean keith gives me life, but conman Lance gives me more. 10/10

It Takes a Village by Zemmiphobia

Summary: One decision by an injured soldier changes not only the fate of the universe, but the fate of her young son.
WC: 18010 (6/6)
Notes: Smol Keith is like my fav, hes so cute in this. and Ulaz being a dad just heals my heart, like bless. 11/10

Ashes, Ashes by vagrantBreath

Summary: Everyone knew their kitten was destined for something greater.No one guessed it was Voltron.
WC: 26639 (20/20)
Notes: Keith raised by the BoM technically makes him Galra right? xD Hahah no, he does have ties, but yeah i love this, hes a sheltered little shit and its great. 9/10

Purple Marks and Bleeding Heart by TeaParade

Summary: Mark #223-code-violet, Lance’s newest job, is not what the sniper signed up for when he joined team Voltron, a specialist group designed to take out the universe’s worst of the worst. This mark shouldn’t be any different from the other Galra, but he is. And Lance is having a very hard time.
WC: 52377 (12/?)
Notes: Sniper Lance and Galra Keith. literally one of my fav pairings. like straight up (tho nothing about this is straight in any sense really) 11/10

To See Blue Skies by BoyBitingDemon

Summary: He scoffed as he watched the fight below, the crowds going wild at the two fighters in the arena. They had such poor taste for entertainment these days.He heard a small sound of amusement from the one sitting next to his standing form, ever vigilant.“As if you were any better your first time in the arena.” They murmured under their breath, a small smile sneaking onto their face, pupiless gold eyes focused on the fight below, but their attention solely on the person standing guard next to him.“I must have have been somewhat impressive to catch the eyes of a certain prince now wasn’t I?"The prince snuck a glance towards the taller, whose face was hidden behind the helmet they wore."You caught a lot more than just my eye that’s for sure.”
WC: 5947 (4/?)
Notes: i,, just love this fic? Like Galra Prince Keith and Champion Lance, you can’t really get much better than this. 10/10

If Only I Could Cry TheSlytherinMudblood

Summary: Galra biology differs from human biology in many ways. For example, Galra are purple. They have yellow eyes. The mammalian ones are able to purr.They also lack tear ducts.
WC: 586
Notes: this is short and sweet (read angsty sorry not sorry) 8/10

The Master of Disguise by NireYllek

Summary: “Wait, what that doesn’t make any sense.” Hunk protested.Pidge shook her head with a tsk. “It does if one of us is disguised as Allura.”Pidge flashed a smirk in Lance’s direction. “I’m sorry, why are you looking at me?” Lance protested. Something in Keith’s brain clicked, he looked at Lance and then at the Princess.Put a little make up on him, a wig, and a dress and he could- OH my god.
WC: 33596 (6/6)
Notes: Tbh, this made me giggle so much. Lance dressed as Allura and Keith and his gay awakening™ just give me life ok. 10/10

Jikook fic recs masterpost

Hi everyone! So, as any jikook shipper, you all know that there is a variety of great fics, old and new, about our fave ship. I, personally, tend to like reading more about the new ones (not because the 2014 ones aren’t good anymore, but like, u know what i mean, dynamics of the ship changed).

So as someone who spends……. alot….. of their free time reading and writing fics, and as someone who’s been in the fandom for a couple months now, i tought it would be a good idea to write down here some of my faves for you, old shipper who thinks they’ve read them all, or new shipper who doesn’t know where to start :) 

I’ll try to recommend complete ones for the most part, and recent ones, but you know…… some of ‘em are classics. Here are my personnal all-time favorites.

Let’s start ! (in no particular order)

* - awesome

** - extra-awesome

*** - life-changing

1. Constraint, by Harlot. ** One shot, 40k, complete. “Jungkook is young and he is more acquainted with confusion and poor-decision-making than he’d like to admit. Despite being only 19 years old, he sometimes argues that he’s been through and seen some shit. He is never sure where he’s going to end up and he’s not entirely sure what kind of future is waiting for him. He is often not sure of a lot but he is certain—absolutely certain—that he’s not gay.
Alternatively, a story in which Jungkook meets Park Jimin and doesn’t like him whatsoever. There’s just something about him… there’s just so much about him. Jungkook really can’t stand him. In fact, he can’t stand him so much he can’t quite seem to get him off of his mind.
” ((So this one is quite lengthy, i know, but totally worth it ! Jungkook is a real douche in the beginning, but his reactions are so believable and relatable that you forgive him instantly. Great caracterization. Smutty parts in the end.))

2. Loverboy, by gangbang. *** One shot, 9k, complete. “this much jimin’s figured out: sometimes, somehow, his words make people fall in love with him.” ((Okay so this one is my personnal favorite, if I had to chose from all the jikooks fics, and probably all fics of all ships of all times, this would probably win the 1rst place. There’s something about it. Magical realism. Ansgt. Incredible storyline and characterization. A+++))

3. More golden than a golden snitch, by arborescent. ** Series of 3 One shots. 4k for this one, complete. “Everyone knows that the first year Slytherin seeker Jeon Jungkook’s biggest fan is not from his own house but a third year Hufflepuff named Park Jimin.” ((Okay so another old one… but a true classic. This one is a series so be sure to read the 3 of them, aren’t long, but truly amazing. HP au, with a lot of misunderstandings, a tsundere jk, and a fluffy muggleborn jimin. Don’t have to have loved HP to read this.))

4. And back again, by novilunar. * One shot, 3k, complete. “Jimin wishes he could stay away from Jungkook.” ((Ok so this is also an old one BUT i had to link it cause i read it 4 times by now and it is  THE fic that started me into Jikook. Basically, Jimin doesn’t do one night stands, and thats all jk does. Jimin falls. Happy ending. Great writing. Good smutty parts. Love it.))

5. The Bet, by jonghyunslisterine. ** 11 chapters, 46k, complete. “Where Jeon Jungkook makes a bet that he can get the notoriously single Park Jimin to sleep with him by the end of the semester. Needless to say, things don’t go exactly as planned.” ((Okay, another old one, classic, that you probably already read. If not, then  d o   i t. Quite lengthy, but a safe bet. Great great great character development. Jimin is such a complex but lovely being and jk is such a douche but then gets it and it all goes well in the end. The jeonlous is gold. University setting, and jk’s concerns about school are so well written and so relatable. Great one overall.))

6. Flowertalk, by soranosuzu. * One shot, 3k, complete. “Jimin works in a flower shop and Jungkook is a delivery boy who drives a pastel pink van.” ((Tooth rotting fluff. Short and sweet, perfect for when you’re feeling for it.))

7. You’re ripped at every edge (but you’re a masterpiece), bykafeuka. * 3 chapters, 34k, complete.  “Jimin swore there was nothing worst than having Jeon Jungkook as a sergeant.(Or,In which Jimin was forced to enlist in military and he was under the sexgod Sergeant Jeon’s monitoring division and god, Sergeant Jeon really needs to stop being a douchebag)” ((Ok so this one is maybe not an ultimate fave, but it’s only b/c of the end. Overall, it’s great, tho’. Military AU. Sexual tension. JK is sexually frustrated and frustrating. JM is a rich boy. Both characters are douches. Loved the idea.))

8. One upon a time share, by namakemono. * 5 chapters, 32k, complete. “Jungkook is in desperate need of a vacation, but spending two weeks in Namjoon and Hoseok’s timeshare in Okinawa with his recently separated ex of three years was probably (definitely) not what he had in mind.” ((I don’t know why i like the ex trope so much??? anyone with me??? there isn’t enough of those. JK and JM broke up, but their friends are still friends. And want them back together. Oops. Love it.))

7. White T-shirt and Brown Timberlands, by Rose_gold715. ** One shot, 11k, complete. “Jimin is filing for divorce after eight years with Jungkook. He needs to let go, and yet, he wants to hold on a little longer.” ((Aaaaand another ex trope, but not really. Established relationship that doesn’t go well for a while, but happy ending. Original idea. Kinda angsty, and heartbreaking. Loved it.))

8. You’re a hard soul to save with an ocean in the way (but i’ll get around it), by namakemono (great author ok bye). ** One shot, 20k, complete. “Jimin has the whole ocean at his fingertips, but for some reason he can’t help but look up to where the humans are, and wonder what it’s like to be part of their world.(or: the Little Mermaid AU that no one asked for)” ((Ok so now move on to something a lil’ fluffier. I DID NOT KNOW HOW MUCH I WANTED A LITTLE MERMAID AU. But i did. Jimin w/ red hair. Rich boy JK that has to take care of him. Funny and cute. A little jowel of a fic.))

9. You Don’t Bring Me Flour, by superbroc. * One shot, 3k, complete. “In order to graduate, Park Jimin must convince cute grocery cashier Jeon Jungkook that this sack of flour is his beloved child.” ((Soooo funny. Happy and fluffy. Great when you’re in the mood for something lighter.))

10. Let’s play for keeps, bykaythebest. * One shot, 4k, complete. “Jimin plays games for the entertainment of the Internet. Poorly. In fact, his entire schtick seems to be entirely based on how terrible he is. JimJams tries. He rarely succeeds.” ((Youtuber AU. Funny. A lot of Pining. What’s there more to ask.))

11. A touch of sin, by pettey. *** 10 chapters, 102k, complete. “After his transfer to a quiet seaside town, Jeongguk was prepared to face a year of uneventful CID work, but found himself dealing with a series of strange murders instead.” ((ULTIMATE FAVE OF THE MOMENT. Last fic I actually read, yesterday, in the middle of the night. Terrible idea, ‘cause it’s so spooky. I’m not a fan of gore, so i was scared when i read the hashtags, but really there isn’t that much, and it’s so well written that you barely notice it. The story is so well written and plot-driven. It could litteraly be a book. The universe is so intriguing. Ghosts. Witchcraft. JK is a cop, JM is a witch, sorta. Weird murders happen, JM is suspected. Sexual tension. So soooo much sexual tension. Characters are amazingly written. Slowbuilt. The end is bittersweet, if you don’t like much of happy endings, you’ll love it, if you only like happy endings (like me), you’ll love it too. Also there’s smut. And amazing song recommandations.))

12. Nu ABO: A Memoir by Park Jimin, by decompositionbooks. ** 6 chapters, 34k, complete. “The world didn’t think it was necessary to give him a guide when it shoved all of these omega hormones at him, so here it is, Park Jimin’s handbook on dealing with heats, unrequited love, and Jeon Jungkook.” ((You kids are so lucky to be able to read this fic in one go. I had to wait for every chapter. E v e r y   o n e. I know not all are fans of ABO dynamics, but try this one, please. It’s so good. Jimin is hilarious. Jungkook is emotionally constipated. Sexual tension. Jealousy. Great writing. A+))

13. Leave Your Mark, by snarcsics. *** 3/10 chapters, 49k, not completed. “The first time Jimin meets a gaunt, small beta boy named Jungkook in the examination room of Namjoon’s lab, he can’t seem to take his eyes off him. The second time he sees Jungkook it’s because he refuses to eat without him. The third time they meet, Jungkook is more teeth and claws than Jimin can handle.” ((OK SO I KNOW THIS FIC IS NOT COMPLETED. BUT LISTEN it’s worth it. Ohhh so worth it. Plus the author tends to finish all of her fics. Superd kind, replies to all comments. This fic is the beginning of a masterpiece. Not like any ABO. The plot is so great. The characterization is A+++. So much tension. So intriguing. JM is an omega. JK is a beta that will become an alpha artificially cause they are extinct. It doesn’t go so well. Please read it. Trust me on this one. You won’t regret it.))


So this is all of my ultimate favorite fics! I still have plenty I would like to recommend, but I figured too long posts annoy everyone. Tell me if you liked this list and if you would like me to do some others :) I was thinking about doing thematics ones, like fluffy, smutty, angsty… Tell me if that would be something you’d like! 

If you have any fics to recommend me, please please please do so!

This fandom is great. This ship is great. Don’t forget to comment on the stories you read to encourage these fabulous authors!

Thank you for reading!

Just some fic recs...

I’ve read a lot of really good fic this year and I just thought the best of the best deserved some recognition.  I tried to weed out the super popular fics, but some still show up because I love them that much.  Also, the ships are numerous and varied.

Running on Air–eleventy7; Drarry
Draco Malfoy has been missing for three years. Harry is assigned the cold case and finds himself slowly falling in love with the memories he collects.
*I would murder people to protect this fic.  It’s beautifully written, well-plotted, original, and it reuses certain sentences, making them more poignant the later in the story they’re used.  Like, fuck me up*

the ghost of you–kissmesexybatman; Klance
When Keith goes missing without a trace, all his family and friends are able to do is move on with their lives. When he shows back up after a year, they have to convince him they still want him back.
*I may be slightly biased because the coolest person in the world wrote this, but let me tell you, it’s emotionally heartwrenching, wonderfully written, and gives you a happy ending without sacrificing the needs of the characters*

My soul is an empty carousel at sunset.–dawnstruck; Otayuri
Yuri grows up and grows older and grows into himself. Otabek helps. It just takes a while to get there.
*I’m demi and this fic described exactly what that experience has been like for me, as it features a demi!Yuri.  Beyond that, it was sweet and genuine and I adored it*

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Mean Astrology: The Moon Signs

~Trigger Warning~

These came out a little…. meaner than anticipated. It’s downright cruel and will feel personal, though I promise you it’s not, but remember to TAKE IT LIGHTLY and if you can’t do that, think of it as something to avoid/learn from.

Aries: Your default setting is angry, it’s toxic and dangerous and no; that’s not as hot as you think it is. You’re selfish and uncaring even with the people you love. You lie when you get bored so you don’t have to deal with anyone else’s feelings. You are an undeveloped child who has to grow up and realize you hurt people and then expect them to forgive you because you’re a wounded child.

Taurus: You shut everyone out, don’t let them know. But then you expect them to bend over backwards for you; they’re not mind-readers! You complain about everyone being selfish and how no one ever “cares about ME” but whenever someone tries you act like you’re completely fine! You’re a hypocrite and you need to change your own fucking ways for once. 

Gemini: Just because you don’t understand how to process your emotions doesn’t mean everyone else does, you suppress your feelings until it comes out in a tirade and you throw it all at people close. You’re smart, and you cut with your tongue. You see through people, see their most sensitive weaknesses and you will throw it all back at them when emotions rise, no matter what they mean to you. You need to learn you can’t take back what you say no matter what you do. 

Cancer: Fuckboy. You’re so basic, you think you’re so thoughtful and kind-hearted but the truth is you are so self-absorbed in your own shit and unable to perform emotional labor for anyone else, that you forget that saying you’re kind and understanding and being kind and understanding are two very different things. 

Leo: You are like the stereotypical toxic masculinity-form of emotional stability. Like you don’t have to act like a suburban dad who doesn’t know how to act when their daughter cries so you just don’t deal with it, it’s okay to cry and be soft. And to purposefully ignore other peoples’ hurt just because it’s easier not to deal with it? It’s downright shitty. 

Virgo: You are the first one there whenever anyone needs you, and you always do your best as you always need to be relied on, but emotions aren’t logical. Not everyone feels better by breaking down their emotions and realizing how nonsensical they are. People don’t need to hear they don’t make sense, they probably already know. You need to accept that not everything is logical, and it’s almost never the solution in matters of the heart. Also, stop being so goddamn hard on yourself it gets old.

Libra: You are a case of “the grass is always greener” you are never satisfied with what you have, what you feel. You throw away friends once you feel you’ve found better ones to prioritize but you aren’t honest with them, you pretend you’re still all in but you don’t do anything but let them drift away. You cheat but you will never understand you’re not becoming a more accomplished person by throwing away genuine though imperfect people. People aren’t corporate ladders. 

Scorpio: You are a mess of trust issues and insecurities but you’re so obsessed with control you don’t let yourself work it out, you don’t share it. You eat up emotions all around you but try to never feel your own. It’s barbaric and stupid. You let it culminate into self hate and anger, and you have a hard time forgiving although you would never share that out loud, you lie to people instead. 

Sagittarius: You are an emotional rollercoaster, while your default outward expression is of peace and philosophical understanding, when the goings get tough you go from 0 to 100 way too fast, with any and all emotions. You need to realize that just because you feel things like a flamethrower, it doesn’t mean other people don’t feel the world on their shoulders too. You just go through it faster and don’t always share until it comes out antagonistically. 

Capricorn: We get it, you feel like you had to grow up fast, be tough; never let anything take you down.But sometimes you have to realize that being tough is a two-edged sword; yes you feel stronger, but that means you don’t always let people in, don’t always act vulnerable and soft. You can’t dissociate from your loved ones when the goings get tough, you have to take down your walls; not be angry or simply not there.

Aquarius: You can’t just not process emotions and state that you’re a beacon of true mental health, it doesn’t work that way. And just because other peoples’ emotions make you “uncomfortable”, doesn’t mean you get to walk away from them. It’s uncomfortable because you beat that shit down so fast that you never realize its value or necessity and you do it to others just as much as you do it to yourself. Let feelings happen, you can’t deal with it by being up in arms.

Pisces: You manipulative assholes, you are not as wise as you think you are. You use other people’s emotions as toys until you get bored with them then press the self-destruct button and assume the role of the victim to make everyone feel bad for you, even though you’re to blame. You’re good with your tongue but you’re not smart enough to pull your games off. And if you keep them up? You will be alone just as you secretly fear.

Does anyone ever think about the fact that after everything with Kate, maybe Derek goes to New York with the decision to never to be hurt that way by anyone again. Not the losing his family part, because how could he ever lose so much again, right? (Right? I’m not crying at all!) So he gets a part-time job as a grocery bagger or something, because he is young and most places won’t hire him halfway through the year. And he works after school to bring in a few bucks so that Laura’s eyes won’t be quite so pinched now that she has gotten her GED and began working to make ends meet for them in a very expensive city. After work, she then spends sometimes hours on the phone and emailing lawyers who are still trying to get all of the paperwork straight. So yeah, Derek  works to help Laura.

But then some lady at the store gives him that look. Like Kate. Her eyes are interested, and her grin is predatory, and he just knows she wants him. So he thinks to himself if he initiates it, maybe it won’t leave him feeling so wrong. So he does. And it becomes a thing. He flirts with anyone who shows him interest as he bags their groceries and “helps them to their car” even though they never need help.

From there maybe it just becomes a way of survival. As he gets older, it seems like more women want to sleep with him. He’s filling out, thanks to all of the runs he’s going on after work and thanks to the workouts he’s pushing his body through every morning. Because he has to be strong enough. He has to be bigger. He doesn’t want anyone to think they can hold him down or force him.

He learns how to play the game. One day he mentions something about that to a coworker (now working at a bar mixing drinks because someone had once told him he would make great money in tips) but his coworker didn’t think of sex as a game. Derek knew better. Maybe it wasn’t for some people, but he would never be able to trust someone in that way again, so he had to strike first before an opponent could.

One day a man at the bar looks at him just right, and Derek just thinks Oh. He’s never focused on men before, but he’s noticed them in passing. So he goes to the guy’s apartment after his shift and they sleep together. Derek pretends he’s done this before, even though he’s mostly relying on his sense of smell and hearing to tell if the guy is into different things he tries. And after that, Derek flirts with anyone he feels he has to.

So fast forward to Stiles. Stiles who is home from college after his second year has finished to make room for summer break. Stiles who means so much and is so good even when he’s an asshole. Stiles who leans in one day after a pack dinner, when he and Derek have finished cleaning up after everyone else has gone home. Stiles kisses him gently, at first, almost hesitantly. But when Derek doesn’t push him away, he presses in more firmly and suddenly Derek realizes where this is going to go. And it kind of makes him sad.

He lets Stiles slip his shirt off and push him back onto his bed. Stiles crawls on top of him and Derek begins pulling their hips together in a slow and sinuous way. But Stiles doesn’t react like any man Derek’s been with before–which really shouldn’t be as much of a surprise as it is. Yes, Stiles lets out a little moan, but it doesn’t break Stiles away from Derek’s mouth, where his tongue is doing things to Derek that he can’t explain. And his hands after trapping Derek’s face, but not like he’s trying to contain Derek, more like he’s holding something precious. His thumbs keep swiping across Derek’s eyebrows, like he’s memorizing their shape.

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