do you even wear those

anonymous asked:

Andreil x "was supper pissed and went to the gym/punched you" au . Thank you 🎑

There was a time when Neil was cautious.

He remembers it sometimes when he catches a wisp of someone else’s cigarette smoke, or when a car drives too quickly past his apartment, or sometimes at the beach. Having eyes on the back of your head, looking in mirrors before turning corners, burner phones, hair dye, contact lenses, fake license plates, fake names.

That was a long time ago, though.

He hits the punching bag again, as hard as he can. Again. Harder. Again. Harder.

There’s a part of him that hates exy. Or no, not exy—how much he cares about it. Everything would be easier if he just cared a little bit less.

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moon-beam-s  asked:

Duudeee. I need more smol 5 Nothing Akira. It's my life blood.

What about a five inch nothing Akira?


riley is gay and proud of it, she loves who she even though it took her a while to realise and accept it

riley lesbian matthews moodboard (8/?) // not my pictures


Summary: You’re about to be introduced to the entire population of Erebor as Thorin’s Chosen One, and you’re really nervous. You have a great dress on, but you’re nervous about how you look and how people will react.
Pairing: fem!reader x Thorin Oakenshield
Warnings: None? just a bit o’ fluff, reader’s self-conscious of her body (like any normal person is)
Word Count: 400                 *Posted 30.9.17

You step out.

Dis gasps. Fili claps and Kili whistles approvingly. A quick slap to the head from Dis and a glare from Thorin puts a stop to that.

But, it was, in all honesty, a perfect dress. The colour complemented your skin tone and make your eyes seem to sparkle like jewels. The fabric hugged and draped your form perfectly.

“You look gorgeous, Y/N. That cut really suits your figure,” Dis’ arms lift to mimic your silhouette. You smile weakly at the compliment.

Thorin just grunts, but his lips lift in a smile. Striding over to wrap his arm around you, he buries his face into the crook of your neck. “You ready, my love?”

“As ready as I ever will be,” you answer, stomach tumbling at the thought of thousands of dwarves watching you, analyzing you, critiquing you.

Thorin chuckles, but holds you even tighter, silently reassuring you. Lifting his head, he nips your earlobe softly. “I’ll be by your side the entire time.”

“Honestly, I was worried I’d have to send the boys ahead and find you a different dress, what with all the trousers and baggy shirts you usually wear,” Dis teases. “But you look amazing. The way the cloth moves with you… Thorin, compliment her!” She scolds her brother.

He kisses your temple. “Enough, Dis. It’s time.”

Kili and Fili, straighten as they turn to push open the large stone doors separating you from the rest of Erebor. Every dwarrow and dam would be waiting, there, on the other side of those doors. Most of them waiting to see exactly who Thorin had decided to marry. You fidget with your rings.

Kili and Fili lead Dis out to the applause of the crowd.

Pulling up your chin, you try to follow them out, but Thorin holds you back.

“No matter what you wear, no matter what anybody thinks, no matter what you think, you, amrâlimê, are perfect.” He kisses you on the lips, deep and long.

And, as you do every time he kisses you, you smile back at him, heart bubbling like a fizzy drink. “Even when I’m in trousers and baggy shirts?”

He chuckles. “Especially then.” Kissing you once more, “Because that’s when you’re truly you.” It’s as you are walking through the doors that he adds, “Although, I do find you even more perfect when those baggy shirts you wear are mine.”

9. Prompted: “Do you miss me?” “Hardly.”  [ROOMATE AU.] (764) (NSFW if you squint.)

Blaise and Hermione had gone out, leaving Draco at home with Pansy and Ron. Harry having left last Sunday. Draco was doing better, now, the first few days had been a struggle for the man. He had been all over the place, just laying around waiting for Harry to call.

But he hadn’t yet, Draco wanted to assume everything was okay but he was nervous. He didn’t want anything to happen to Harry. He jumped up when the phone rang sprinting to it just as he did every time it rang.

“Draco Malfoy!” He said in a rush, waiting.

“Hey,” Harry’s voice eased through the speaker and Draco sagged in relief sinking down against the wall to the ground, “still there?”

“Yeah,” Draco swallowed quickly, “uh.. h-hey.”

“What are you up to?”

“Nothing. I was uh, watching TV with Ron and Pansy. What about you?”

“Finally got a few minutes to myself, thought I’d give you a call.”

“Right, yeah. Been busy?”

“It’s been amazing, Malfoy! I’ve learned so much in the past few weeks it’s hard to believe.”

“Good,” Draco nodded, shutting his head and resting back against the wall.

“Miss me?”


“Hm,” Harry’s smile could be heard through the speaker, and Draco smiled to himself at the sound, “I miss you.”

“What about me?”

Harry laughed and Draco could hear him moving, before the line went quiet. There were muffled voices through the phone and then it was picked back up, “still there?”

“Yeah, what are you doing?”

“I moved to my room. Its suite styled.” Harry explained to him, “where were we?”

“You telling me how much you miss me.”

“Are you in the hallway?”

“I am.”

“Just right down the way from Ron and Parkinson?”

“That’s the one.”

He could practically feel Harry’s laugh and smiled to himself again, “I miss that about you, so much.”

“What’s that?”

“Your attitude, and your smile. I miss that so much, and how you look at me when you think I’m not paying attention.”

“I’ll have to stop that, hm?”

“If you can, I’m rather good looking Malfoy. It might be a hard habit to break.”


“You’re needy. I miss that about you too and your hair. I just want to run my fingers through it, I miss how you smell and how you look when you’re waking up and how you press your cold feet to my legs and how you drink my coffee so you don’t have to buy your own.”

Draco chuckled, “I sound like a dream.”

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The truth behind Fresh’s sunglasses

Paper Jam: Fresh, why do you always wear those sunglasses?

Paper Jam: I mean. You even wear them when you’re indoors.

Fresh: oh these

Fresh: they’re actually prescription glasses

Fresh: I just radified them

Fresh: I mean really, all us crayon queen kids’ve got sight issues

Fresh: geno all up keeps walkin’ into things

Fresh: error has the eyesight of a stereotypical grandma

Fresh: know what I mean

differentandstupidhuman  asked:

What about a cinderella marco but with prince tom? I love the one that you made before with the friend tom, but i wanna see them dancing and putting the cristal shoe

Okay! I really don’t remember cinderella that well, but I tried my best. This is the fanfiction I don’t know if it turned out good or horrible. I hope you enjoy it anyway! I love you bye!


Tom drummed his fingers on the side of the throne. He was bored. An entire ball was being thrown for him to meet princesses and women from the kingdom to pick a bride. People were wondering when he would marry. But Tom just showed no interest in any of this. So the ball was set for him to dance with different girls and try an find one to spend his life with.

“How possible…” He muttered. “I get one night to decide my entire future.” Tom grumbled. He hated this. He hated dancing, he hated crowds and he hated meeting new people. All the woman expected the prince to be this cool admirable man. A prince charming that they would make goo-goo eyes at. But Tom was a walking dumpster fire with social anxiety and a fiery temper. Tom sighed again and felt somebody nudge him, he looked over to see his sister, Hekapoo, looking down at him.

“Tom, you’ve been here an hour. There are groups of girls willing to dance with you and you haven’t spoken to anyone.” She hissed.

“I don’t want to speak to anyone.” Tom assured. Hekapoo stared daggers at him and grabbed his horn to get him to sit up straight.

“Take this seriously!” She hissed, and walked off. Tom’s eyes scanned the room and he tried to find a way out of this horrible party. Tom made a face when three women came near him. Two were about his age, and one was an older woman.

“Prince Tom, we wanted to thank you in person for inviting up to this ball of yours.” The older woman said. “I was thrilled to receive our invitation.” She continued. “And even more thrilled to introduce you to my daughters.” The woman showed Tom the other two and they waved at him. “I hear this ball is to help you find a bride, and I hope you make a wise choice.” She added. Tom shrunk away a little bit and the girls winked at him.

“Th-thank you ma’am.” Tom mumbled. “What was your name?” He asked. The woman smiled and looked down at him.

“I’m Lady Tremaine.” She introduced. Tom tilted his head.

“I thought there were four in the Tremaine household.” He admitted. The woman waved her hand and laughed a bit.

“Oh yes, Marco is somewhere over there.” She said fast and unamused. “I’ll leave you three to get acquainted.” She then said, and walked off. Tom kept looking past at her, like he was getting vibes. But when he turned his head he jumped at the two girls who were still there.

“Is it true you have to find a bride?” One asked. Tom bit his lip.

“Th-they want me too…” He admitted.

“Well my mother thinks it best for me to marry too, haha, what a weird coincidence.” She giggled. Tom forced a smile.

“Is it? Is it really, though?” He asked, laughing insincerely. The girls laughed and kept competing for his attention, but Tom found his eyes wandering around the room. Tom’s eyes stopped when he saw a boy with a tray chatting happily with another guest. He was in a help uniform, but he didn’t recognize him as the castle servant. Tom’s eyes widened. “Who is that?” He asked. The girls looked behind them rolled their eyes.

“Oh that’s our step-brother Marco. We loaned him to the castle for the night to help out.” One shared. “He wasn’t able to come otherwise because all he would do is embarrass us.” She huffed.

“But we gave invitations to the entire households.” Tom reminded. The other step-sister laughed a bit and shook her head.

“Yes but we didn’t want him to come regardless. But then our mother thought some more work would do him good.” She explained. Tom watched the boy serve drinks around the ball and make his way around. Tom moved the girls aside and ran over to him. He didn’t know why he was so drawn to this human, but he was.

“E-excuse me… M-Marco?” Tom called, he was suddenly feeling a lot more shy. Marco turned his head and looked for where the sound was coming from, but shrugged when he didn’t see Tom get lost in the crowd. Tom groaned and pushed passed the dancing people and tried to run after the boy. Tom ran faster and made it outside. He looked up excitedly, hoping to see the boy who had captured his attention, but his face fell when Marco was nowhere to be seen.

Tom went back inside and kept searching for the mystery boy the rest of the night, but as more and more people cleared out he didn’t see the human boy. Tom sighed and slumped down in his chair once all the guests had left. There had been a few last-minute attempts to flirt with him by other women, but Tom was having none of it. After the party he looked over to see and angry looking Hekapoo.

“The ENTIRE kingdom was here! And you didn’t find a spark with any young person?” She demanded. Tom rubbed the back of his head and Hekapoo narrowed her eyes. “You found somebody didn’t you?” She asked. Tom blushed and looked down.

“I don’t know…” He mumbled. “I didn’t even talk to him.” Tom added. He looked away and his eyes fell to the middle of the floor. Tom gasped and scrambled up and ran over. He lifted up a dark blue shoe. “This is it!” He cried.

“Those are the shoes the maids wear.” Hekapoo told him.

“I know! He was working as a maid during the party for us! All we need to do is go around to all the citizens in the kingdom and see which person it fits!” Tom exclaimed. Hekapoo raised an eyebrow.

“That’s crazy, do you know how many helpers were wearing those? It might not even be his shoe.” She told him. But Tom was already scrambling to find his shoes and coat and run out the door. Hekapoo ran after him and stuck her head out the door, calling after her brother. “Tom! I really think you’re jumping to conclusions! What are you going to do? Go to every door in the kingdom until you see this guy you haven’t even spoken too?” She called.



“Put this on your foot please!”

“Excuse me?”

“It’s okay it’s for a good reason!”

The fourth door that day slammed on Tom’s face. Hekapoo put her hands on her hips. She had decided to follow, thinking she would have to pull her baby brother out of trouble, or it would be funny to see him run around, which it was.

“Maybe if you tell people who you are they’ll want to try on the slipper.” She suggested. Tom rolled his eyes.

“There are two things wrong with that. Number one, if I tell people who I am, everybody will pretend it fits and say that they’re the one! Number two, who is going to believe me if I say ‘Hey! Put this shoe on for no weird reason! I’m the prince so it’s not creepy for me to have an obsession with your feet!’?” Tom cried. Hekapoo laughed a bit and nodded, as the siblings went to the next house.

Tom knocked on the door and it just so happened to be a family who recognized him. “Oh prince Tom! Princess Hekapoo, what an honor to see you.” The woman smiled. “I expect you’re here for one of my daughters, perhaps after you clicked so well last night.” She asked, giggling a little bit. Tom tilted his head.

“Oh yes, Lady Tremaine.” Tom remembered. “I am here for that!” He exclaimed. The woman’s face lit up, but then Tom kept talking. “Your step-son! Marco!” Tom cried. “I want to ask for his hand in marriage.” He beamed. The older woman’s face fell and she stared at Tom for a long while before Tom continued. “I’ve been looking everywhere for him! I even have his shoe right here!” Tom continued, holding up the slipper. “Can I?” he asked. “I want to make sure it fits, so I know it’s the right person.”

“Or you could just, you know, look at him.” Hekapoo suggested.

“Shut-up Hecka!” Tom hissed. Lady Tremaine took the shoe.

“Well then, please do come in.” She insisted. Tom smiled big at Hekapoo and they went into the house.


“He’s here for HIM!” The step-mother hissed.

“Well what do we do?” One of the sep-sisters asked. Lady Tremaine smoothed her hair out and sent her daughter away.

“Simple, dear. You want to marry the prince do you not?” She asked. “You will be Marco, tell him it was you he saw at the ball and pretend that this slipper fits.” She insisted. The daughter nodded and took the shoe, going on her way. As soon as she left Lady Tremaine turned to  Marco and narrowed her eyes.

“And you!”


“I thought I talked to you earlier?” Tom asked, he wasn’t buying this.

“No, no, you talked to my sisters!” She laughed. “I’m Marco, remember. The shoe fits.” She teased. Tom raised an eyebrow and took the shoe, staring at it for a long while. And then he looked back at the white red-haired girl.

“Marco had brown skin and eyes.” Tom responded. Hekapoo took him by the shoulder.

“We probably have the wrong house, this must be a coincidence.” She insisted. Tom pulled away and shook his head.

“No. I talked to her! And you told me Marco was your step-brother.” Tom insisted. “And you didn’t want him coming to the ball because you said he would just embarrass you.” Tom hissed. He then pieced this together. “You’re pretending to be him because you want to marry me instead. Now what did you do with Marco?” Tom demanded. The girls exchanged glances, in the silence Tom heard a bang come from the upstairs. He gasped and dashed up the steps, he came down the hallway to a room. Despite protests coming from the others Tom didn’t waste any time tearing the door open.

Marco shot up from the bed he was sitting on and gasped when he saw a demon tackle him down. “PUT THIS SHOE ON!” He screamed. Marco shoved him off.

“Why!?” Marco cried.

“I saw you at the ball! I tried to talk to you but you ran away too fast!” Tom exclaimed. “I-it’s me! I’m the prince, I wanted to meet you again, Marco! I-I want to ask for your hand in marriage.” He told the human. Marco gasped and Tom tried to hand him the slipper again. Marco put a hand over his mouth and looked at the demon prince in shock.

“Prince Tom I… I… I’m flattered but… that’s not my shoe.”


Monique Lhuillier Resort 2018 Ready-to-Wear

Bad/Golden Rep - part 2

“didn’t think you’d come, either” I counter sitting on the table.

“damsel in distress needs help, I’m here to help” he smiles and pushes on the shelf and sits down at the table.

“I am a damsel, I am…” I push my lips together and turn my head to the side causing my hair to fall. “in partial? Distress. I can handle this, have a good day” and I smile.

“did you just quote Disney to me?” he says laughing.

“that I did” I smile.

“okay so what are you up too in biology?” he asks opening up his note book. I turn around so I’m facing him and my feet are up sit on the chair in front of me.

“do you want the real answer?” I ask and do that guilty smile.

“I swear to go if you tell me the whole term, I’m living a nightmare” he says

“better wake up then” I smile. He shakes his head, and leaps into cells and shit like that. I take notes and I think about an hour later, after I’ve moved off of the table and sat next to him, I just hit my head against the table.

“did you actually fall asleep?” he asks astonished clearly not having noticed.

“uh… what no.” I say and the look he gives me is utter annoyance. I rest my head against the table.

Keep reading

So the best thing CoJ gave us is the fact that for the last several years the cyborgs have been living together in the middle of buttfuck nowhere just being domestic.

So I’m repurposing this old post cause it’s canon now.

Joe stared at the collection of sticky notes adorning the refrigerator door in bemusement.

There are to be no more light switch raves in the lab – Gilmore

Pyunma please remove your pottery sherds and samples from my desk. Why do you even have those here? – Gilmore

Jet will no longer be allowed to wear medieval armor and try to get others to join him to go a-viking. – Gilmore

I don’t care who installed the stripper pole in the living room just make it go away (Jet, stop using it!) – Gilmore

G. Jr, you are not Dragonborn, stop singing “Dovahkiin” at 3 in the morning!!! – Gilmore

But he has the voice of an angel! A kickass dragonborn angel - Jet

Thank you Jet - G.

Ivan and Albert are not allowed to have staring contests, you’re starting to disturb the rest of us. – Gilmore

Jet, stop stealing all my eyeliner! Who the hell is Bucky? – Francoise

Chang, the sprinkler system is not your personal car wash. Stop parking on the lawn – Gilmore

GB stop trying to frame Jet for things by taking on his form. You don’t walk anything like him I know it’s you – Albert

Albert, using alphabet magnets to spell out obscenities on your arms still counts under the no cursing in the house rule – Gilmore

Jet, these rules are not me oppressing your cyborg minority. Get off tumblr. – Gilmore

Add your own!

Remember that time when Wade ended up in San Francisco and immediately decked himself out in matching purple tank top, booty shorts and roller blades and for just a moment he was so happy? 

And then some assholes were telling him he looked stupid and he was going to beat the piss out of them but just then some rad as heck people drove by and shouted to him that he was beautiful and Wade was shocked and he actually felt beautiful and he was happy again and then he went and started hitting on a bar full of sailors? (Vol2, #15)

Remember that?????

  • Because I think about it constantly.


scastro95  asked:

14 and 20 w/Jungkook

14.  “Take. It. Off.”

20.  “Come over here and make me.”

It was cold. Super fucking cold. Freeze your nips off cold. That’s what happens when your landlord controls your heating. So, you had no choice but to layer up. And unfortunately, the only clothes that you had suitable for layering against that kind of temperature were the numerous sweaters and hoodies you had adopted from your ex when you were still dating. Something your current boyfriend didn’t agree with.

“I don’t see why you have to wear those. Hell, why do you still even have them?”

“Because a certain someone doesn’t like sharing his clothes.”

He scowled as you zipped the tattered hoodie up further.

Take. It. Off.

You crossed your arms in defiance, “Why should I? It’s cold as balls and these are the only warm clothes I have!”

“Because I don’t like seeing another man’s clothes on you! Especially ones from a man that’s been with you… intimately when I haven’t yet.”

Oh. He was jealous. Maybe you could use this to your advantage. You could get warm and take the next step in your relationship in one go.

Come over here and make me.

Drabble Game

Lemme put up some 

Headcanons for when after a godfucking awful day MC feels shitty and just wants to curl up and die and the suitors want to cheer her up

because i had a shitty day 

So here goes:

Alyn - would start cooking a.s.a.g.d.p. because yes the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach but let’s be honest about who’s the real cook here. Would whip up your favorite dishes and sweets and make them extra special, like extra whipcream or extra spicy, that kind of thing. Would probably go out of his way to make the dinner setting romantic if he had a chance. Would pamper you and spoonfeed you too. And he’ll endure all your teases without poking you in the forehead. 150% chance he’ll let you be the small spoon for tonight (Alyn would probably be the type to want to be the small spoon so he’s making an exception for you)

Leo - he’d make a fort or put together the beanbags and you’d cuddle in front of your favorite nightlight and he’d distract you with all the stories he has in that head of his. He’d tell you all these over your favorite snacks. You’re going to be the little spoon the entire night. Would drape his arms over you and hug you real tight and whisper in your ear and make sure to tickle you too. Would read to you, if you wanted to. He’d probably do dub overs for the characters. Definitely lets you read his treasured comic books too. Would also share headcanons and talk about fan theories

Louis - he stands there and you just feel better already. Not kidding. THere’s something about Louis’ smiling face that makes you feel better all right but he knows you’ve had a shitty day so he takes you out to your favorite resto and orders for you and he just knows which dishes to pick and pampers you and never lets your glass empty even if you just ordered iced tea or something. Holds your hands and kisses them non-stop the entire evening. He takes you on a scenic walk through the city, treats you to ice cream, probably would even dare go to a seaside fair or something, and buy you cotton candy. Tries to make jokes to make you laugh but he’s so bad at making jokes but you laugh anyway because he’s just too bae. He smiles the Ultimate Smile at finally making you laugh and kisses you.

Giles - hot bath with the bubbles and the scents and the wine, and he does a sinfully good massage all the way from your toes up to *cough* your shoulders and all over and he’s just so goddamn good with his hands you melt. He should sideline as a masseuse I s2g. Would pamper you with kisses everywhere and I goddamn well mean everywhere. He’d run his fingers on your back and your hips and it’s just so relaxing like what the hell, you expect it to be sensual and sometimes it is but mostly he’s in mother-mode. Would also make you soup. And probably hum as he tries to make you sleep.

Byron - a scenic drive in the mountains overlooking the city and it’ll be beautiful and quiet and dark and just peaceful and he’d just hug you as you lean against him and listen to you vent and give a few remarks of his own and his voice would be so calm and soothing. He’ll nuzzle against you definitely and his fingers would be intertwined with yours and nonstop brushing of his lips against your fingertips (hey it rhymed). He brings along something he probably cooked on his own (you taught him and he’s been practicing) and of course his telescope and you’d just stargaze the night away. Of course there’ll be something extra too.

Robert - lets you vent non-stop without interruption and makes a mental note to “talk” with whomever made your day shitty the following day and make sure it never happens again. While venting, he’d preen your hair, running his hands over and through it. He’d also probably agree to murder if you suggested it. No one should be allowed to make your day shitty to begin with. Would also think of a solution to your problems and would also help you get back at whomever made your day shitty if it helped. Probably would rain kisses on you until you fell asleep. 

Nico - cuddles you non-stop and cracks his best jokes and brings out all your fave comedy movies or just your fave movies or shows and marathon them and popcorn and just chill and you even don onesies and he sends you the craziest snapchats ever even if you’re just two feet apart. It’ll be a night of smothering. And internet videos. And more cuddling and of course forehead touches and he’ll hug you non-stop and he’ll be super touchy-feely too. You’ll fall asleep because you’re too tired from laughing all night.

Albert - “not entirely sure why you let yourself be bothered by that shitty thing that’s bothering you. it’s all in the state of mind.” is what he’d probably say but he knows you already know that and he can’t stand to see you so mopey and glum so he whips out Benjamin because benjamin is a surebet ticket to happiness. He’d probably literally ask you what you want to do and he’d 10000% go with it. Whatever it is and he’d make sure that you get everything as specifically as you wanted it, no excuses from him. He’s not insensitive, just that he quite literally wants to do whatever it is you want to do to make you feel better. He will even let you wear those couple shirts if you wanted. Would also kiss you a whole lot more since he knows you enjoy being kissed and he’ll blush all the while and be super cute

Sid - whatever insult you throw at whatever shitty thing you hate, he’s gonna agree with you and double it. Would take you out drinking in a pub to let you vent even more and ohboy are both of you ruthless tonight. Would take you skinnydipping to cool off that hothead of yours too and stuff might *cough* happen. He’s gonna be extra gentle though, like not just in the cough stuff, but overall. Holds your hand, carries you if there’s a puddle or something, tucks your hair behind your ear, let’s you have that last shot of vodka even. Piggy-back rides are guaranteed.

anonymous asked:

100% agree with every single thing you said regarding Harry’s show and I feel the negativity he is getting is so unwarranted. Thank you for saying so.

Yeah I don’t want to sound like I’m excusing Harry because that’s really not the point but I don’t think we should expect him to do something just because it’s the “right thing to do”. His main job while on tour is to get onstage and sing for us. Anything else he does is a bonus. 

They should make friendship marriages. The state/church would legally recognize that you are BFFs and then you get cool stuff like skateboards and tax-deductible jump high fives.

What You'll Probably Hear Inside the Signs' Mind
  • Aries: "Everyone thinks I'm pissed off rn but in reality I just stayed up until 5 AM for the past three days watching youtube videos. please help I can't feel my face."
  • Taurus: "Wow I just love being everyone's friend and living such a peacefu- wait... did you just... Did you just fucking DISAGREE with me?!? Who do u fucking think u are. Prepare for war. Bitch."
  • Gemini: "What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and-"
  • Cancer: "bITCH I WILL CUT YOU- noo I'm just kidding I love you so much you sweet lil child of mine let's hug now an-actually no hbu just stAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME- lol jk wait no where are you going pls come back friend."
  • Leo: "So two days ago, five people texted me and eight snapchatted me and twenty liked that one selfie I posted, but yesterday only three people texted me and four snapchatted me and fourteen liked the photo I posted... What did I do to deserve this why does everyone hate me all of the sudden I did nothing"
  • Virgo: "I wonder if my neopets are still doing okay..."
  • Libra: "what the fuck is that hoe over there even wearing... I just- how- why wOULD YOU EVEN WEAR THOSE TWO COLORS TOGETHER. BITCH DO U EVEN OWN A MIRROR"
  • Scorpio: "Hey, I kinda like this person, they have quite a bit in common with me and seem pretty coo-NO PE DANGER THEY JUST LOOKED AT ME WEIRD. ABORT MISSION. I FUCKING KNEW NOT TO TRUST THIS ASSHOLE."
  • Sagittarius: nothing except for the John Cena theme on repeat idefk
  • Capricorn: "All these astrology blogs have been joking that I'm Satan but that's sO UNTRUE. I WILL DESTROY YOU AND EVERYTHING YOU LOVE FOR HAVING THE NERVE TO SAY THAT. SEE YOU IN HELL."
  • Aquarius: "@aliens beam me the fuck up out of here. I am ready."
  • Pisces: "Okay... So if you round up, the last time I cried or thought about crying was approximately two minutes ago, which means it's totally understandable if I ju-AWHHH THERE'S A LIL KITTY OVER THERE OMG BE MY FRIEND, KITTY. U ARE SO CUUTEE I LOVE U SO MUCH"