don’t expect too much kissing and pda and that type of shit
he’s not the type to hug you out in public or hold hands as you walk down the street or kiss you as you wait in line to get your coffee to go, he’s just not into that
he never understood why people have the need to do those things
when there was a time and place for those things, somewhere in private
i think he’s more of the type to express his care with small actions
however, his way of caring is something you would have to get used to
at first, you’d think he wasn’t that into you
you’d be like why isn’t he hugging me??? i want to hug him all the time
i want to suck his face off 24/7, why doesn’t he want that??
what am i doing wrong???
he’s literally perfect and i don’t want to fuck this up !?!?
he wouldn’t hug you as much as you wanted him to
he wouldn’t want to suck your face off 24/7
he wouldn’t be all touchy feely like the guys you usually go for
you’d get all concerned about it and you’d start thinking he really wasn’t into you
but with time you’d learn to appreaciate his signs of affection
like making you coffee in the morning, giving you his hoodies to wear, sending you random texts about his day
“i swear to god i’m going to kill one of them if they don’t grow up”
“these fools won’t stop messing around”
“i fucking hate dance practice with them”
“they made me TWERK”
“how much time would i serve for six murders?”
“and would you wait for me until i got out?”
“sweden is beautiful, we should come here together some day”
and you’d know that he thought of you and wanted to share parts of his day with you and that, in his head, that was equal to expressing his emotions in physical ways
also you’d live for his late night phone calls
he’d call at three am, hoping you were still up
“i just finished producing this song, you have to hear it, i promise you’ll love it” *screeching*
“i’m done filming for the day, just checking up on you”
he’d always show you he cares when he’d call
he’d call just to hear your voice before he goes to bed
you’d talk for a minute or two
but you’d know it means a lot to him, and that it was his way of being intimate
and he’d say things that mean i love you in yoongi language
like “did you get home safe”
“were there any problems at school today”
“don’t catch a cold, wear something warm when you go out”
“don’t forget to take your passport”
“i’ll call you in the morning so you don’t sleep through your alarm”
“don’t drink too much, and if you do, make sure you eat a lot”
i said no touchy feely stuff
but don’t think that includes cuddling !!!
he likes to sleep
and he loves to sleep with you
your head on his chest makes him fall asleep a lot faster, the sound of your breathing lulls him to sleep on cold afternoons as you snuggle up to him covered in blankets
he loves it when he’s cold and your body warms him up
he always runs his fingers through your hair and plays with the hair on the nape of your neck, and that always calms you down when you’re upset
you don’t get as much physical attention every day
but when you’re upset
yoongi would go all out to make you feel better
if someone pissed you off, he’d be very angry and would always offer to talk to them and sort things out for you, or jokingly, he’d offer to beat them up
or he’d playfully say he’ll write a diss track on them and you’d know he didn’t mean it, but it was still cute
and when he’d see the idea is making you feel better, he’d come up with random diss lines against the person who upset you that you’d end up crying from laughter at his rap lines
and if you were sad, yoongi would be EXTRA thoughtful and considerate
because he’s someone who knows what that feels like
that is exactly why he doesn’t get too touchy feely and why he always seems distant
he’s lost in his own world, he has so many thoughts about everything and he likes to keep them to himself
he likes to keep his private things private
and you’re the most private thing in his life
he doesn’t want people to see him kissing you or holding you or doing anything
that’s reserved for your eyes only
he’s a perfectionist
he wants to be perfect to his fans, to his audience, to his band members, but also to you
and when he feels like he’s not perfect in something (never!!) he feels bad and shuts everyone off and ends up thinking about the thing he messed up
and he ends up in this circle of self-hatred and self-loathing and then pity, and then hatred because of the pity and it doesn’t go away easily, and the only way it does is through his music
so when you’d feel down, he’d do everything in his power to make you feel better
because he never wants anyone, let alone you, to feel the way he feels when he feels down
and those moments when he’d open up to you and tell you about what’s bothering him, share his deepest thoughts with you, let you be the first person to listen to his songs, to his most personal thoughts, worries and desires, those moments would let you know just how much you mean to him
and that’s why you would never be unhappy with him
even if he didn’t kiss you and hug you all the time
it wouldn’t matter
he’d do those things when it was most important, when you’d feel down
and you could always count on him to make you feel better, no matter where he is or what he’s doing
and you’d always try to do the same for him
even if you knew most of his problems are in his head
and you couldn’t really control them
you’d try your best
i think he’d be a great boyfriend
caring and thoughtful and really funny
because his sarcasm and the realness he serves all the time are fucking great
and he’s the most relatable person ever
and he’s a musical genius
plus he’s hot
that concludes this late night thirst for boyfriend material yoongi
what are some coping/trauma related songs you would recommend?
hi friend! I’ve gotten a couple of asks about music, so I’m gonna answer them all here. everyone copes differently and everyone has different tastes, but here’s a few recs I have based on what has helped me. (I’m favoring folk/indie here though my tastes are usually more varied, because these are related to trauma/coping more explicitly)
“download immediately I’m begging you” tier:
The Sunset Tree - The Mountain Goats (if you already know this album, then it sounds like a given. it’s a staple for me. in fact I’m linking the single track, This Year, which got me through several years of my life. this album is explicitly about surviving abuse)
linked here isA Better Son/Daughter, of off
The Execution of All Things by Rilo Kiley (this one’s so good that i’m actually recommending a single track, which I never do because I prefer always to recommend albums. you might cry like a lot. I definitely did the first dozen times I heard this. also the rest of the album’s great too! more about relationships tho.)
if you only read this far, please listen to those two tracks! ^^^ <3
“saved my life” tier:
Transcendental Youth also by The Mountain Goats, would be my very next rec, if you want to feel like your life and your suffering are real and valid. (give the track Spent Gladiator II a listen!)
Lanterns - Son Lux (not about trauma, still helped me hang on by a thread when it was Bad. shameless plug, it’s patently my all-time favorite album)
Feel Good Ghosts - Cloud Cult (this is a Happier album that is literally about Surviving when you think you can’t anymore, it’s a little psychedelic and weird tho)
look friends, there is nothing wrong with a little Black Parade or Simple Plan for when it Hurts (Gerard Way and that cohort did it right all right?) This was middle school for me but this genre saved my life when I was that age
“gets me through it” tier:
Neon bible - Arcade Fire (track “my body is a cage” is always stuck in my head and encapsulates That feeling perfectly)
Good News for People Who Like Bad News - Modest Mouse (feeling bitter? this is for you!)
anything by Sufjan Stevens (the album Carrie & Lowell might be the most relatable, but I also love Age of Adz, All Delighted People, and Illinois. this melancholy folk singer-songwriter is my favorite artist ever maybe)
ANYWAY! that’s everything I can think of for now. thanks for reading this far, and if anyone wants like, a playlist instead of albums, let me know! that would be more varied in genre/style. or, send a genre and I can find stuff within that.
further - it is 100% my opinion and thoughts, so please understand if it doesn’t fit your thinking of them. requested by anonymous.
yoon jisung: he is the brightest sunshine in your life. always there to cheer you up, showing out all of his cuteness.
of course, sometimes it might annoy you since he cannot see whether if it’s the right timing. despite him being older than you, he wouldn’t really take much control, and he will just follow your lead. he is very emotional, and he will be touched and thankful by anything you do for him, or cry a lot after a watching a movie. he is always there for you, and trying to understand you being mature. he’ll always upload random pictures of you, with lots of hashtags. always there to embarrass you in public - lots of skin-ships, laughing too hard, and goofy faces.
joo jinwoo: he is the one who is going to be shy with everything at the first time. he would doubt himself whenever you offer him or request him to do something, but he would ace it as soon as he gets used to the system. neither of you will try to take control, just letting everything flow as you two is. when you are in a pretty long relationship with him, you would see him being less shy, but still when he jokes around he would show he is shy by softening his last words. he wouldn’t know what to do when he sees you crying, so he’ll just hug you awkwardly, patting your back, then buying loads of ice creams for you. he’ll sing you something sweet to help you fall asleep when you have trouble sleeping or just had nightmares.
choi taewoong: hating to be lonely, taewoong would be following you everywhere like a little child. hugging you every moment, and he would whine a little if you get out of his arms, or go out to hang out with your friends. he is obsessed with talking or relating everything about/to you. he knows what you hate and like, and he is likely to take the control, making all the date routines but he will give you enough space so that you would feel comfortable around him, since you’ve fought over this sometimes. even though he he knows the best way to comfort you, and takes care of you always, he cannot take care of himself as well as he does for you, so you two are like parents to each other. always a romanticist to you, saying the most cheesiest but the sweetest pick-up lines to you and you only.
kim jaehan: he is the reckless-best-friend-like boyfriend to you. he is always self-confident about anything, but of course he sometimes shows his all goofy and i-don’t-know side. he is always competitive with everything, and end up messing around with you not caring about who won or lost. he is very childish, but he doesn’t admit it. he tries to act all manly and stuff in front of you, but sometimes he does an epic fail with it. despite this fact, he will always make you flutter with a quite random action where he doesn’t seem to think it’s ‘manly’. he will be taking the control, leading you and sometimes have conflict because he sometimes have a hard time to know what you want or is expecting from him. he will always be the one to apologize first, and bring you back in your happy mood.
kang daniel: he is another brightest sunshine ever in your whole life. like jisung, he wouldn’t be taking much control unless needed and he is always a good listener and adviser at the same time. he is always himself around you, but he talks less, and listens more to your words. listening to you whining and complaining is the cutest thing in his eyes, he would always hold your hands and look into your eyes, then kissing you on the forehead. he isn’t the type of bragging around a lot in public maybe he does a lot of pranks, but he will always tell you and show you how much he loves you in private, and he wouldn’t be doing a lot of skin-ships in public too. he is a very mature type person, and thinks of you two’s relationship seriously. when you are sad, he would silently hug you, but in his heart he is so sad and miserable by seeing you like this. once in a while he would say something cheesy or a bad pick-up line, making you laugh.
After a month of ramen noodle memes, it’s finally May…which is also BPD awareness month! And I’m here as your local diagnosed Borderline to break some of the stigma associated with this personality disorder, offering up 15 fun facts, stigma myths, and helping you better understand any Borderlines in your life ☺
1. BPD most commonly develops from severe trauma and is often a product of other diagnoses such as depression, anxiety, PTSD, eating disorders, and bipolar disorder. So there is a lot of stuff going on in our heads, all of the time.
2. BPD and Bipolar disorder are NOT the same thing. Bipolar is characterized by extreme highs and lows that last for a few days or more, sometimes without a discernable trigger. BPD mood swings occur much more rapidly, are more noticeably triggered, and typically only last between a few minutes and a few hours.
3. Borderlines all experience their symptoms in different ways, and not all Borderlines experience the same symptoms. A common misconception is that all Borderlines are manipulative- this is false. Manipulation is a symptom of BPD, but not of all Borderlines.
4. Borderlines experience emotions at TEN TIMES the intensity that normal people do. So if it seems like we’re overreacting or are falling too fast…believe me, we know, but we can’t help it. Please be patient with us and communicate in a straight forward manner. We wish we knew how to turn it off, because it actually becomes physically painful.
5. Because we experience emotions at such a high intensity, Borderlines are some of the most caring, loyal, and generous friends/partners. You will never feel unloved if you are close to a Borderline.
6. Also, we cry a lot. Like…a LOT. We cry over everything whether we’re happy or sad or scared or excited. We cry a lot. There’s nothing you can do. Just let it happen.
7. Borderlines often close themselves off about things that are bothering them, and don’t ask for the things they need because they don’t want to be a burden. If you notice a Borderline bottling up, it’s important to assure them that you are there, without pushing them. Extra affection never hurts either (we love affection).
8. If a Borderline Splits*** on you, it is important to express how their words and actions made you feel, but also important to word it in a constructive way rather than aggressive (see: item #6). Most Borderlines are extremely self-aware and will get over whatever made them Split quickly and realize what they’ve done and apologize. In most cases, this isn’t an act of manipulation, but a frantic effort to make up for an episode they couldn’t control. Again, we require a lot of patience. Know that we are trying.
9. Borderlines dissociate frequently. In most cases we appreciate a lot of attention and affection when that happens to bring us back down to earth.
11. Borderlines love attention in general but are too anxious to ask for it. Attention is to Borderlines as the sun is to sunflowers. We perk right up and turn into happy beans. WE WANT IT ALL.
12. If a Borderline asks for space, give us space. But be reassuring that you’re not going to leave.
13. Borderlines are terrified of abandonment, and will often leave before they can get left. If they use the phrase “it’s not you, it’s me.” I promise you, it is not you. It is them. We’re waiting to find the right person who doesn’t let us self-sabotage everything. But we also hate feeling trapped so honestly idfk, good luck trying to figure out where your Borderline is at.
14. PATIENCE. PATIENCE IS KEY. But also, you can’t be nice all the time. Borderlines like to pick fights, and sometimes we need you to fight us over stupid little stuff. I guarantee you we’ll get over it within 10 minutes, but sometimes you just have to let us get the fighting mood out of our system since we’re actually wimpy crybabies who couldn’t hurt a fly.
15. If we’re talking about things that are going on in our head, we don’t always need a response or want words of encouragement or need you to try to fix everything. Chances are we are already working it out in our heads, and we just need you to listen so it’s not just rumbling around up there. Validation is appreciated. However, just saying “your feelings are valid” can be taken more as insensitive than reassuring if not followed up with an interpretation of your understanding.
I hope these were informative and/or helpful to those who took the time to read through entirely; just by reading you’re helping to #endthestigma
***Splitting: a term in the BPD community to reference the black-and-white thinking used as a defense mechanism with Borderlines. Usually referencing the flip from the idealization of an FP** to devaluation.
**FP: “Favorite Person”, term used to reference the person a Borderline seeks the most attention and validation from.
All you wanted was to recover from the day before, but Veronica had different plans.
Warnings: THIS MAY BE TRIGGERING TO SOMEONE WITH A LOW SELF ESTEEM, you are all lovely people who should feel good about yourselves but for some reason you have dangerously high insecurity this may be too emotional to handle. I don’t want to be the reason your day is ruined. <3 swearing, more of that emo angst.
Hey you guys, part four is here. I want you guys to know I don’t want you to feel misinformed, I tagged the first part as fluff and this story is taking a bit of a different turn. Without spoiling it may or may not become fluffy again, but for now that is not the case. I hope you still enjoy, lots of love <3 - Juggie xx
Thursday morning was the start of a bright, new day in Riverdale. Yesterday your spirits were stricken, but you and Jughead had plans for tonight and nothing was going to stop you from bouncing back and restoring the happiness in your friendship. Besides, nothing could make matters worse after yesterday.
Jughead met you at your locker before school, and gave you his signature lopsided grin when he saw what you were wearing. “Good morning (Y/N), like the shirt.”
You rolled your eyes at him; that was the final nail in the dress coffin. “Why? ‘Cause it’s not a dress?”
“No.” His smile became more sincere and you felt as if time stood still as you looked into his eyes. “It just a feels a lot more like you.”
You two stood gazing into your each other’s eyes for a more few seconds and you swear you saw him peek down to your lips for a moment. “Jughead, I-”
The bell ringing interrupted you as he laughed and looked away, “We better go, we’ll get detention if we’re late again.”
This had kept you on edge all of English. Would you have confessed? Did he feel the same way? You weren’t sure, the entire class he acted like that moment hadn’t happened. You hoped with all your might he would want to continue that special moment during lunch.
And that’s where you found yourself now, the student lounge with your friends during lunch. However, when you sat in here you would usually sit next to Jughead on a couch, but Veronica and Betty had beat you to it. You had no right to be mad though, he technically wasn’t yours. Taking a seat next to Archie you greeted your friends.
“(Y/N)! How did your try out for the Vixens go?”
“Oh, I decided not to join.”
Archie looked puzzled, “I thought you said you had reconsidered yesterday?”
“Yeah, well,” you looked over at Jughead who was looking immersed in conversation with Ronnie. You turned back to Archie trying to hide your curiousity. “Someone changed my mind.”
He kept talking, you would respond every now and then with a 'yeah’ and an 'oh definitely’ but you couldn’t stop yourself for sneaking glances at Jug and Veronica. Betty had left the couch they were all three sitting on so it was just the two of them now. V slowly brought her hand up and put it on Jughead’s arm and you felt all the alarms going off in your head, 'she taught me to use that move on him’. He didn’t seem displeased, just kept going on about whatever it was there were discussing.
But then she leaned towards him and said something in his ear. He looked uncomfortable but laughed anyways, and you felt tears welling up in your eyes. Why? They almost looked like a couple now, so close. Was she doing this because of what you had said yesterday? Because you had voiced your insecurity compared to her?
She suddenly kissed his cheek and popped up to wonder off, and although he looked perplexed it didn’t matter. You felt betrayed. He wasn’t your property but she knew how you felt, how could she do that when she knew how you felt? You felt a tear slide down your cheek as Archie’s voice brought you back down to reality, “(Y/N)? What are you thinking about? Are you alright?”
“Oh, yeah, yeah sorry I wasn’t focused.” You give a small nod and smile as you stand and approach Jughead.
“(Y/N), what’s wrong?”
Letting out a weak laugh, you give him a sad smile and wipe the few tears away. “I’m alright, today just isn’t the best. I’ll have to take a rain check on the movie tonight, sorry.”
You turn to walk away but he stands and grabs your wrist, not roughly but enough to stop you. “(Y/N), you can talk to me. What’s bothering you? We can talk about it later if you wan-”
“Jug, don’t bother showing up.” You shook your hand free then left. If she wanted him, fine, because yesterday he made it clear he paid more attention to her anyways. You felt the tears coming on again, more ferociously than before. You made your way to a bathroom to give yourself the time and privacy you needed to cry, he’d been making you do that a lot lately.
'It’s alright though, I’ll just have to give up on falling in love with Jughead Jones.’
After school he made his way towards Veronica before anyone else in the gang could get to her. “We need to talk.”
She flashed him her brightest smile, “Hey Juggie.”
He only offered a furrowed brow, “What the hell was that during lunch?”
V only looked taken back for a moment before recovering, “What was what?”
“Don’t play dumb with me, all the damn flirting. I don’t understand though, anyone can see you have feelings for Betty. Were you trying to make her jealous?”
“Keep your voice down!” She quickly scanned the area to make sure you or Betty weren’t around, “I wasn’t trying to make Betty jealous, that’s ridicu-”
Jughead rolled his eyes, “Stop trying to pretend you don’t like her.”
Looking down at her feet she admitted, “Yeah, I do.”
“So if you weren’t trying to make her jealous what were you trying to do?”
“First of all, there is no making Betty jealous. She does not feel the same way about me, and what I did today was for a friend who needed a push.”
“You wouldn’t know unless you asked her, this makes no sense!” He paused, realization hitting his eyes and Veronica feeling the panic well up within her. She became very afraid she had exposed your secret. “Unless..”
“Unless Betty likes me?”
“Betty doesn’t like you, Jug.”
“Then what the fuck were you doing during lunch then? Why do it?”
She exhaled dramatically then slammed her locker shut. “Just drop it Jug!”
She had stormed away but he followed hot on her heels, “I can’t! This obviously involves more to do with me so how about you drop the bullshit and spill it?”
She whipped around suddenly, making him stop, “Fucking drop it!” This time when she went to escape he didn’t follow, instead he merely sighed and ran his hand through his hair after removing his beanie in frustration.
From Juggie: (Y/N) let me come over, tell me what’s wrong.
Unsent: I can’t tell you what’s wrong.
From Juggie: I really need to talk to you.
Unsent: I need to talk to you too but I can’t right now. I hurt so much but I can’t let you know you’re the reason why. I don’t want you to feel my pain too. That wouldn’t be fair.
From Juggie: Why are you ignoring me? Did I do something wrong? (Y/N)?
Unsent: It’s not your fault you’re not in love with me too. It’s not your fault I’m not what you want.
From Juggie: It’s fine, please just know you can vent to me whenever you want. Your secrets are safe with me and we both know I am capable of handling your fears and sadness and your anxiety. We’ve been best friends for as long as I can remember.
Unsent: I want to be more than just your friend Jug. I want to fall so madly and deeply in love with you and I want you to do the same with me, but I’m scared. I don’t have the confidence. I cannot thank you enough for everything you have done for me but I can’t talk to you right now. I can’t.
From Juggie: Please talk to me tomorrow.
From Juggie: “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” - Oscar Wilde. Good night (Y/N).
Unsent: I’ve been myself for all these years and that didn’t work for you, it didn’t make 'us’ work. I’ve been waging this war inside myself for so long about being myself and changing who I am if it would work for you, if it would make you fall in love with me. All I want is you Jughead Jones the III. You’re all I want. And I thought if I had to change who I am to become all you want that’s what I’d do but it’s too hard for me. I can’t do it. I’m sorry. I am just so torn right now, so I can’t talk to you. I’m so fucking sorry.
Unsent: Good night Jughead, I don’t want to fall out of love with you.
Unsent: I love you Forsythe.
That’s all folks! Don’t miss the next installment, ask to join my Unsent tag list! :)