do they have a legitimate name

IKEA shenanigans
  • #1
  • Person A, lying seductively in bed: honey come join me
  • Person B: if you don't put on your shirt I'm legitimately gonna leave you here
  • #2
  • Person A: I'm gonna choose a random tag and whatever unfathomable word is on it, I'm gonna name our kid that
  • Person B: p l e a s e s t o p
  • #3
  • Person B: you gotta stop crying about all the rooms
  • Person A: *sniffles* mOST OF THEM DONT HAVE A WORLD OUTSIDE THEIR WINDOWS AND ALL THEIR BOOKS ARE IN SWEDISH THATS SO TRAGIC
  • #4
  • Person A: *staring at all the desks*
  • Person B: *walks up to them* what're you doing?
  • Person A: I'm wondering which of them you'd look best pinned aga-
  • Person B: *kicks them in the shin*
Baby Driver

this movie is flawless and here are some reasons why:

  • the whole soundtrack
  • the entire beginning sequence
  • when Griff (Jon Bernthal) gets in the car during the first heist and points forward and Baby slams it backwards
  • sign language
  • Joe made me so happy?
  • also when he signed “who’s the girl?”
  • Ansel Elgort’s lips? blocked
  • you can hear his tinnitus (ringing sound) when he’s not listening to music
  • you can’t hear his tinnitus when he’s with Deborah
  • when he takes one ear bud out the music shifts to one side
  • Kevin Spacey. just overall. i love him
  • “what the fuck?”
  • when he goes to get coffee and he’s listening to Harlem Shuffle by Bob & Earl you can see the lyrics graffiti-ed on the walls and poles and stuff behind him as he’s walking
  • when Baby is ordering coffee and he goes “yeah yeah yeah” in time with the song
  • Baby reciting back the entire plan and then looking at Bats and going “questions?”
  • “That’s my Baby.” “Fuck yo’ Baby.”
  • the gunshots are perfectly in time with the music during every fight sequence
  • when Buddy cocks Darling’s gun for her
  • Darling’s outfits
  • she’s also rly pretty the fuck
  • Brighton Rock??? What the fuck???? so good I love Queen
  • “And you’re in a pink and sparkly mood?” “I am now.”
  • Every time Baby smirks I wanna punch him
  • the sunglasses scene
  • the scene where he’s running away from the cops is just as intense as the car chase scenes and the gun fights
  • Simon and Garfunkel’s Baby Driver is so catchy fuck
  • “Wait, I have to start the song over.”
  • When he goes into the diner and it starts playing When Something Is Wrong With My Baby
  • Baby singing along to Neat Neat Neat
  • “Now you know I hate taking candy from Baby…”
  • Jamie Foxx’s character was unpredictable, and a little unnerving. He wasn’t like terrifying but there definitely were moments where I wasn’t sure what he was gonna do and it made me nervous
  • side note my dad was peeing when Bats died and when he came back and I told him Baby killed Bats he went “ah, good.”
  • “You took something from me that I love, now you know I gotta do the same to you.” Oh yea for sure he’s gonna shoot Deb- FUCK
  • that part was honestly so good I spent like 5 minutes with my mouth hanging open like fuck you Buddy you can’t take that away from him :’( 
  • but it also shows that Buddy really understood Baby and remember that he kinda stood up for Baby and they were bonding a lil with music and stuff it just shows how unpredictable he was
  • I have legitimately been listening to the soundtrack for this movie since I saw it a week ago today
  • his name is Miles
  • if Edgar Wright and James Gunn made a movie together I would die immediately upon entering the theater

don’t worry I’ll see this movie 8937459 more times so expect more of this

Day Ninety-Six

-I found a get well card that featured a large bucket of golden retriever puppies under the word, “Heal.” This is potentially the single most pure thing in all of creation.

-A woman leaned over the counter and whispered to me confidentially that the Internet had told her to come into the store today. I have many questions for her, but first and foremost, I would like to know what she would do if the Internet told her to jump off of a bridge.

-I rang up a woman whose actual, legitimate, legal, god-given name was Mulania. The world is truly an enchanted place.

-A woman thanked me. Her toddler gave me a high five. Her infant stuck her tongue out at me. Work has never been so rewarding.

-A man purchased 180 infant clothes hangers. Wherever this child is, they have a wardrobe to rival the stars.

-A young man shouted in agony. His friends asked if he was okay. Dejectedly, he told them, “I was trying to screenshot that one nude.” His companions consoled him with nothing less than complete sincerity and compassion. This is a friendship the likes of which I have never seen before.

There are so many interesting things to focus on in those leaks that have nothing to do with shipping? Like:

  • Hunk has an encyclopedic knowledge of herbs and spices!
  • Hunk was either legitimately unaware that Pidge had been using a fake name, or it’s become an inside joke. My money’s on the latter.
  • Lance’s favorite food is garlic knots?
  • Keith’s heritage remains unknown, which is… suspicious as all get-out, ngl.
  • The “Space Dad” nickname is CANON. And it’s HUNK that calls Shiro that, at least on page? Like… thank you, Voltron creators, thank you.
  • Lance is still giving Keith shit about his hair? LMAO
  • Lance is “the most eager to prove himself” I’m dying.
  • This is the second time Allura’s been described as a teenager and honestly the fact that everyone except Shiro and Coran is under twenty (or the Altean equivalent of such) has me wanting to cuddle all of them like JFC YOU’RE ALL TOO YOUNG FOR A WAR.
  • Keith is an October baby!

anonymous asked:

hi!!!!! can I please request for a minhyun college au? I am addicted to your writing (・´з`・) thank you in advance xxx

for nu’est ive decided it’d be cool to make them all medical students!! so consider it residency-college!au LOL~

  • specialty: minhyun is doing his residency in dermatology  
  • is known as the “pretty boy” of the unit and other residents are always joking that patients favor him because,,,,,,,,well one he has gorgeous skin,,,,,,,but everything else about him is literally just as gorgeous
  • is really sweet and tries his best to be polite,,,,,,even if taking another 10 hour shift is literally going to Kill Him,,,,,minhyun just smiles and is like : ) it’s fine : ) im fine
  • his superiors like him the most and their favoritism shows because guess who doesn’t get yelled out for taking a five minute snack break? it’s minhyun
  • but even though he comes off so mannered and mature,,,,,he has a lil nerdy side,,,,,like his phone background is always his cute niece and him but one day someone noticed that his lock screen was literally a screenshot from the transformers movie,,,,,,,like,,,,,,,,,
  • everyone keeps asking if he’s dating and minhyun is just like,,,,i,,,,,d,,dating?!?!?!?! and they’re like oh my god you have the face and you’re telling us you haven’t used it yet
  • and minhyun is like ?!?! i use it everyday to eat, to read - and everyone is like oh jesus no that’s nOT WHat we MEANT
  • but if anyone as much as dares to try to do ‘corrupt’ minhyun (as dongho affectionately refers to it) minhyun just turns pink and bites his lips and is like i!! don’t know anything about that,,,,,
  • boy is already in residency and sometimes if a patient get too close he has to excuse himself,,,,,,,soft boy
  • speaking of dongho and the rest of nu’est they all do residency in the same hospital so every now and then they’ll meet up to eat lunch outside
  • and everyone swoons because they’re the ~visual residents~ a group of goodlooking guys in white doctors coats,,,,,,what a dREAM
  • and then dongho gets crumbs all over his scrubs and minhyun is like come here i need to clean it - don’t you dare run from me- come bacK
  • is really good at his job though, so much so that people are like he doesn’t even need to do residency he knows sO MUCh
  • graduated at the top of his class in med school, still studies as diligently as before, literally takes notes on e v e r y t h i n g the doctors say
  • jr jokes that when minhyun opens his own dermatology clinic he should give all of them face lifts but minhyun is like,,,,,,,,im not doing that im doing immunodermatology wanna hear what i learned about leprosy-
  • jr: i gtg rn i was just trying to make a joke i am so sorry
  • anyway you also work in the hospital,,,,,but not as a resident or anything you’re actually in the tech department
  • and you know about minhyun because how can you not,,,,,but also,,,,,,,,he’s called the tech department like a minimum of twenty times a week because for some reason he’s super smart
  • but takes like ten years to type in a patients chart notes and he’s always getting a bit confused with the hospitals interface
  • and you,,,,,,,dont mind being the one called to help him i mean like have you /SEEN/ him  
  • just standing beside him is like basking in the sunlights glow and u dont mind. not one bit. tbh u r not gonna like lie when u see a call from the dermatology dept u basically fight people for the phone
  • buuuuut you also know that it’s a one sided kinda thing,,,because minhyun could have anyone,,,,,,,literally 
  • u can tell from the fact that his lab coats pockets are always full of candy, letters, and more that both patients and staff give him and yeah it makes ur heart sink a bit but like,,,,
  • whatever the short moment where you get to stand beside him at the desk and tell him (for the 15th time) how to reset the scheduling system works like,,,,,it’s enough
  • which is why when you get called down again, minhyun voice sounding apologetic over the phone u cheerily tell him it’s no problem - you’ll be right down to see what happened 
  • but since the elevator is taking too long u decide to go down the stairs where,,,,you hear voices echoing as you get closer to the floor ur supposed to meet minhyun on
  • and???? they sound familiar,,,,,one is obviously dongho’s,,,,,and the other???? minhyun?
  • and u stop your steps,,,listening to their echoing words 
  • “are you going to ask them? minhyun it’s been two weeks since you decided to say something and you’re still putting it off.”
  • “,,,,,what if they don’t like me-”
  • “NO OFFENSE BUT THATS NOT POSSIBLE”
  • you blink,,,,wondering if you’re hearing another voice,,,,,and it is,,,,this one belongs to another resident. ren
  • “minhyun, seriously you’re handsome. i dont say that a lot. but ur handsome. very handsome. look at me minhyun does it look like i would lie.”
  • and finally,,,,the calmest voice of the bunch belong to jr: “you should go for it. i think they like you too.”
  • and you’re not sure what else they say because the door opens and a couple of nurses rush by you, their footsteps making noise
  • and in your head you’re wondering,,,,,,who is it that minhyun likes,,,,,,,
  • but not wanting to get lost in your thoughts you rush down coming out into the dermatology dept and seeing minhyun leaning against the wall near the elevators. 
  • you pat his shoulder,,making him jump a bit and the both of you breaking into blushing apologizes but then he mumbles that he’s pretty sure something is going on with the vital monitor
  • and you go inside the room to check it out
  • and as you’re doing your work,,,,you don’t notice minhyun bite his lip,,,,shy eyes trying to avoid your figure in the center of the room
  • quietly fidgeting with his name tag pinned to his collar
  • and when you turn, smile on your face “done! it just got unhooked-”
  • “are you free,,,,,on sunday?”
  • minhyun’s sudden question catches you off guard and you’re like w-what?? and he’s like,,,,,,,, “i-,,,,i have a shift,,,,but i can- it ends at 8 so i could take u to dinner,,,,,maybe,,,,,-”
  • minhyun,,,,with all his pretty features and polite personality cannot seem to stutter out a date invitation 
  • but,,,,you also cant believe ur ears???? the person minhyun liked?????was you???
  • and you’re like “d-don’t you not have many free days? you should rest-”
  • “it’s ok! i want to,,,,,spend it with you.”
  • there’s something of a shy smile on his face,,,,but his eyes are nervous and you’re always feeling your palms sweat
  • because god u really want to say yes,,,,the happiness in your stomach is turning to butterflies,,,,,but you also know that minhyun should rest
  • so you go “ok,,,,,but how about we do something simple,,,,like watch a movie at my place?”
  • and minhyun almost turns cherry red at the mention of coming over and he refuses,,,,,saying it’d be un-gentlemen-y of him but ur just like pleassse it’s fine
  • safe to say you guys do have that date at your place but you purposly pick a boring movie so minhyun falls asleep fifteen minutes in and you let the tired med student sleep soundly on your shoulder as you do your own thing
  • and ofc when he wakes up minhyun is a mess of “im sorrys” and “im not a creep i promise” but u just laugh and tell him it’s ok,,,,,it was a perfect first date because u were able to see him rest
  • which honestly just makes minhyun’s heart flutter even more about you,,,,,on the way home he texts ren and is like “i think they’re an angel,,,,,,,”
  • dating med student!minhyun is slow at first because he’s surprisingly shy about pda or skinship,,,,,to the point where when he first holds ur hand he has to let go 5 minutes later and be like “its not that i dont want to,,,its just,,,,,my hand got sweat and i didnt want u to think thats gross-” and u had to grab his hand back and be like idc if its sweaty i want to hold it forever, minhyun once he gets more comfortable has a habit for always dusting off your uniform or tucking strands of your hair back because he thinks u look cute when ur all neat and whatnot, tbh dongho and jr tell minhyun it might be a lil weird but u like it,,,its minhyun’s personality so u accept it, since he works super long hours u dont really get to see each other often but minhyun really likes it when u text him what ur doing after work esp if u include pictures, at first he’d just be like oh! cool :D or looks yummy! but as you two get closer he’ll kinda be a little sappy saying things like even your silhouette is pretty or i wish i could be beside you right now, a constant struggle is showing people photos of you and minhyun together looking cute in the hospital lobby doing peace signs and ur like that’s my boyfriend! and people are like no no no thats a celebrity honey and ur like,,,no,,,,,no he’s my bf,,,,,,,basically people r just really shocked because minhyun’s visuals are no joke, whenever someone confesses to minhyun whether it’s a patient or a staff he gets all embarrassed but also secretly reaLLY likes saying he has a significant other that he is head over heels for, ren makes fun of him so much for it he imitates his voice and calls out ur name and is like head !!! oveR HEELs~~~!! and minhyun is like pLEASE and ren is just kiss kiss love love u two are sooooo corny, on an anniversary minhyun had work but he sent you a video of him playing on the piano and singing your favorite love song and it legitimately made you tear up, does this thing where when he gets really really tired he’ll never admit it but one kiss from you makes it feel like he can take on the WORLD, an exchange resident named aaron comes to visit and minhyun introduces you to him and is like he’s my bff and aaron is just like “so what base have you and minhyun reac-oK FINE I WONT ASK”, those rare times where residents get more than a day off minhyun always insists on doing the absolute most for you and sometimes you have to literally argue with him to let you do something because he works so hard you want to support him and make it easy, you cooked for him once and you can’t tell if him telling you he LOVED it was fake or real,,,,,,,you guys got matching sweaters from the nu’est boys as a gift and they’re bright pink and corny and minhyun refuses to wear them until you giggled and put it on and minhyun melts for anything you do so he was like ok FINE, surprised you once by pulling you into a storage closet at the hospital and letting a hand slip up your shirt and you were like minhyun?? ?against his neck and he,,,,,couldn’t keep it up you felt his cheeks go hot and he was a stuttering mess like ten minutes in but he was also like i just,,,i really wanted you i dont know what came over me ,,,,,WHAT A FREAKING CUTIE AMIRIGHT THO,,,,promises that once he is done with residency he’s going to get a good job and take you on vacation for never leaving his side through the hardest years of his life and you just kiss his nose and tell him not to worry about it,,,,,but seriously the only thing on minhyun’s mind sometimes (which he finds fascinating) is how much he really rEALLY wants to make you happy,,,,,,,,,,he wants a future,,,,with you 


find others here: ong seongwoo | kang daniel | lee daehwi

Just to remind you who Gendry is, and why someone needs to legitimize him as Baratheon.

Gendry: But just explain it to me. He offered to have any three people you wanted dead. All you had to do was give him the names. Anyone. You could have picked King Joffrey. 

Arya Stark: Shut up! 

Gendry: You could have picked Tywin Lannister. 

Arya Stark: Jaqen got us out of Harrenhal. So why are you complaining? 

Gendry: Because you could have ended the war!

~~~

Thoros of Myr: Where’d you train? 

Gendry: King’s Landing. Tobho Mott’s shop. 

Thoros of Myr: That criminal! He charges twice as much as every other armorer in the city. 

Gendry: That’s because he’s twice as good.

~~~

Gendry: How’d you know he was a knight? 

Hot Pie: Well… ‘cause he’s got armor on. 

Gendry: You don’t have to be a knight to buy armor. Any idiot can buy armor.

~~~

Gendry: I’m done serving. 

~~~

Gendry: Oh, you like picking on the little ones, do you? You know, I’ve been hammering an anvil these past ten years. When I hit that steel it sings. You gonna sing when I hit you?

Just a reminder, because I think we legitimately forget sometimes:

Nazis weren’t just the soldiers with guns at the entrances to death camps. They weren’t just the guys who ushered people into the gas chambers. They weren’t just the politicians signing the orders to invade other countries, or the generals ordering their troops to execute civilians.

Nazis were also the people who joined the party because it was the social thing to do. They were the people who looked the other way when their Jewish neighbors were hauled off. They were the actors who put their careers above the lives of others in order to take roles in propaganda films. They were the civilians who asked “But what do we do about the Jewish problem???” and expected a legitimate answer. They were the people who registered, and put their names on a list so they could have a little bit of social fortune while it was still popular to do so.

Those people were Nazis too.

So when I say you’re acting like a Nazi, I’m not saying you’re the one throwing the switch on the gas chambers or pulling the trigger on a gun. I’m saying you are legitimizing and supporting a political ideology which harms other people, and history will prove you wrong.

Hey fam, couple more interesting things to note from the infodump that brought us the news about Euron and Dragonbinder the other day, though neither really qualify as “news.” I don’t have the WOIAF app so I didn’t know this (many of y’all probably did!) but apparently it confirms that, yes, Robb legitimized Jon and named him his heir in his will. I addressed the theory that he changed his mind to Arya a li’l while back, and I know Preston Jacobs has the idea that it was actually Catelyn *rolls eyes so hard they spin off into the atmosphere* but yeah, this is canon. I’m still not quite sold on Jon as the next King in the North because Stannis is still right there, Ramsay doesn’t have Rickon in his power like in the show, and not only do the clans know Bran is alive, but they won’t be alone after he speaks to Stannis and Theon from the weirwood at the crofters’ village. But we shall see!

The other bit (and again, this is probably old news for those of y’all more studious than I am) is this quote from GRRM’s Notablog from 2007…

Ah, if only the Tyrion in the books could fly, what mischief he will… ah… could… ah, never mind.

…which leaves me more convinced than ever that Tyrion is indeed the third dragonrider for endgame alongside Dany and Jon.

don’t breathe

Originally posted by yoongichii

in which you seem to always hold your breath around him.

genre: fluff 

word count: 2227

― vampire!yoongi x reader

a/n: word vomits with bora at 1am


     FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE, YOU WISHED YOU WERE ON DRUGS. It would make trying to make sense of what was happening before your eyes way easier. You stood in horror, watching the infamous-for-so-many-wrong-reasons Min Yoongi feed off of a classmate of yours. You couldn’t quite remember her name, something like Sooyeon. What was more revolting was the fact that her face showed pure euphoria, as if he weren’t sucking the life out of her. 

Placing a hand over your mouth, you slowly took one step back from the classroom. The almost inaudible sound of your shoe hitting the tiled floor made Yoongi glance up sharply. You blanched, feeling your stomach lurch. His eyes were glowing a deep scarlet, the blood dripping down his chin was almost the same color. 

Keep reading

Hey so Hawaiian!Hunk is becoming a really popular headcanon and I decided to give you some cool Hawaii facts from a real life Hawaiian™ so that way you don’t have to perpetuate stereotypes. I haven’t seen it too much yet, but I understand that it’s hard to find accurate stuff online if you don’t already know where to look. (Other Hawaiians feel free to add stuff)


  • It’s very rare to find a pure Hawaiian, there’s ~200 left. So when you’re making your Hunk keep that in mind. Here’s the formula for making a Hawaiian. Asian + Polynesian + Caucasian. For example, I am Hawaiian, Chinese, Filipino, Portuguese, and Swiss. And i had the smallest number of ethnicities out of my friend, I knew one dude with 15. That’s kinda a lot, but not uncommon. 
    • Also, it’s totally not weird to ask someone what they are. (something i needed to learn not to do in my college because apparently it’s rude??)
    • I personally would HC Hunk as being a mix of Hawaiian, Samoan, Tongan, Filipino, Portuguese, Chinese, and maybe some British.
    • Fun fact: the reason we are so mixed was because plantation workers were imported from around the pacific and they usually stayed for so long that they would end up marrying a Hawaiian. Tbh this is probably why we didn’t completely die out in the 1800s.
  • No one really speaks full Hawaiian anymore, our language is sadly dying out, but there have been efforts made (like charter schools where they only speak Hawaiian to the students) and everyone here knows at least 30 words in Hawaiian. However, we do speak pidgin very frequently, it’s basically a dialect of the islands evolved from the Hawaiians first learning the languages of the traders who came to Hawaii. Because of pidgin we call a lot things by a different name (and most of the time don’t even know it has a different word).
    • Examples: Mainland for the continent of America, chicken skin for goosebumps, rubber band for hair tie (i’m actually not sure what the real word is…), etc
    • Also this means that you’re constantly having to translate when you’re on the mainland. I never realized how much pidgin I used until my friends just kept giving me blank stares. It’s very frustrating, especially when you realize you have never known the translation and have to just hope the others will understand.
  • Hawaii is a very unique place. The culture, the people, the weather, the aloha spirit, etc. Any time you leave the islands for an extended periods you get very homesick because it’s difficult to find things that are authentically Hawaiian outside of Hawaii.
  • Some stereotypes:
    • Yes all of us do at least one of these things, surfing, hula, playing ukulele, singing, or swimming.
    • We do wear “Hawaiian shirts” and “muumuus”, however they are nothing like what you are probably thinking of. We call them aloha shirts and Mu'umu'us, and they are our formal wear. The designs are a lot more subtle and there really aren’t any crazy bright colors. The designs are usually quilt patterns of native flora and fauna
    • yeah we’re pretty chill with walking barefoot and in a bathing suit. The weather is very temperate and you don’t really need to wear clothes so it’s not really a big deal to see people in various stages of undress. We really don’t care about nudity that much…
  • Hawaiian Quirks:
    • we call everyone older than us Aunty or Uncle and pretty much everyone over 20 responds to that. It’s a sign of respect. It also confuses mainlanders a lot because they think we have super huge families, which we totally do, but still I’m not actually related to everyone on the island.
    • being on the verge of destroying the earth every time someone calls slippers “flip flops”. THEY SLIP ON AND THEY DO NOT MAKE A GODDAMN FLIP OR FLOP NOISE. it’s such a dumb name pls stop. I legitimately thought it was a dumb tv joke for 18 years of my life because tv has never been accurate with anything about Hawaii so there’s no way it was actually accurate with such a dumb name.
    • automatically judging someone based on their reaction to you saying you’re from Hawaii ex: “OH! You’re from Hawaii??!!!1!!!11 That’s so cool!!!11z!! Do you guys live in grass shacks?? is this the first time you’re wearing real clothes???? do you know what the internet is??!!??? How did you get here??” (yes these are real questions my friends and I have been asked) If you ask any of these we will probably avoid you forever
    • Using Hawaiian words to describe moral values because they hold so much more meaning than the English translations 
    • Having a list of local foods you’re gonna have when you get back
    • layering up once it gets into the 60s (15ish) because hello the coldest it ever gets in Hawaii is 60 and that’s only in the dead of winter.
    • Freaking out about seasons. We have no seasons here. It took me 18 years to see Fall and Spring and I can count on my hand how many times I’ve seen snow. So yeah, we lose it every time we see snow. Also we wish people a bright Christmas because we’ve really only experienced maybe one white Christmas
  • Although body image issues are still a thing in Hawaii they aren’t as bad as everywhere else. Hawaiian ads usually features locals without photoshop so we aren’t really bombarded with this “perfect” white body image

Feel free to come talk with me if you want to know more! I tried to keep this simple.

Rough

→ immortal!reader x exo; aeon’s lovers

prologue - chapter 1 - chapter 2 - chapter 3

warnings: implied smut.


“You’ve been through a lot, Y/N.” Detective Do breathed out and you had to refrain from chuckling. 

“I’ve only talked about one year of my 103-year-old life, my first lover out of eight, Detective. Close your gaping mouth, remember to blink and let me continue;

The name of my second lover was Zhang Yixing. Fleeing Siheung after the car accident, I sneaked onto a train without knowing it’s destination. I ended up in Beijing, and from there I was lucky enough to be employed as a maid in a large mansion half an hour from the capital.

After a few years working for my master, Mr. Zhang, he succumbed to a lung disease, leaving the house for his nephew and grandnephew. His grandnephew, Zhang Yixing, fell in love with me at first sight and I ultimately fell in love with his pursuing. Our love was sweet yet rough around the edges, but threatening it, was his father’s plan of marrying him off to someone else.”


The Zhang Mansion in the outskirts of Beijing, China, Late 1947

The sun was blinding when you leisurely stepped out of the mansion. The warm air was almost uncomfortable as you tugged on the thick layer of your skirt and apron. The collar of your dress was low on your collarbones due to your constant fiddling with it, and the arms of the dress were pulled up to level with your breasts due to the heat. Your eyes scanned the vast and well kept front yard, quickly finding the very man you were looking for - Yixing, waiting on you just as planned. 

However, he was not alone. By his side, was a young Chinese woman with long, straight onyx hair and a wonderful, long, cream colored dress. They were both standing opposite to your master, Yixing’s father, and after a few seconds, realization dawned upon you and a stinging feeling of worry and jealousy summoned inside your chest. The sweat on your back was suddenly caused by other reasons than the striking heat, and your chest tightened with nervousness. 

Was that the woman his father wanted him to marry? He didn’t seem too uncomfortable with her clinginess. Did he enjoy it? Had he noticed you? 

Then, so suddenly-

why was he kissing her?

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asheneclipse  asked:

“Just answer this one question and i won’t ever bother you again.” with “If I’m an idiot, what’s that make you?” for adrinette please?

“Just answer this one question and I won’t ever bother you again,” Adrien said.

“Promise?” Marinette grumbled.

“Ouch. I know you’re just sleepy but that hurts a little bit.” He nuzzled her cheek and Marinette grunted, rolling over to give him her back. Adrien hummed happily and cuddled up to her, wrapping his arms around her waist. “So here’s my question: since our shipping name on the Ladyblog is Ladynoir, do you think if we have kids, they’ll call them catbugs?”

“Adrien, it’s three o’clock in the morning,” she groaned. 

“That’s not a legitimate answer.”

“I can’t believe I married you.”

“You love me. You think I’m cute.”

“Right now I think you’re an idiot.”

“If I’m an idiot, what’s that make you, wife-of-mine?” he tutted.

“Someone who wants to go back to sleep.”

“Marrrrrriiiiii.”

Marinette rolled back over. “What?”

“Want to go watch a movie?”

“What?! No. You snuck an espresso after dinner, didn’t you?” she accused.

“In my defense, the server asked if I wanted one and it would have been rude to say no.”

“There is no scenario where I get to go back to sleep any time soon, is there?”

He kissed the tip of her nose. “I suppose you could ask me to go in the other room all by myself. I would be lonely and sad though.”

She sighed and gave him a sleepy smile. “Fine, you ridiculous kitty, I’ll come watch a movie with you, but you have to call your dad in the morning and explain why I’m too tired to come into work.”

“Deal,” he grinned. “He’ll be thoroughly unsurprised.” 


Prompt List

Buy Me a Coffee? <3

anonymous asked:

Do you have know any serpent!juggy or serpent!betty stories?

Do I know of any? Oh, Grayface. I do. 🐍
This is legitimately one of my most favourite tropes and following that finale there were quite a few fics featuring Serpent!Juggie and/or Serpent!Betty. Sit yourself down and prepare for intense amounts of Serpent fic. Here are just a FEW fics - there are more… but I have to leave my office and can’t add any more. These are all either in my bookmarks or I subscribe to them so you know I’ve read every one of them. Happy reading!


Fruit Punch Lips & Leather Jacket Dreams by @believe-that-you-can-my-friend (2/3)

say my name by endlessdaydreaming (2/?)

Where The Wild Roses Grow by @believe-that-you-can-my-friend(1/1)

I Can See You (Battling Your Demons) by @writing-as-tracey (3/?)

The Ring Leaders by Marigold77 (3/5)

Into The Black by @camelotskingz (6/?)

the winged beast by @onceuponamirror (15/18)

Splintering by Enula, Mogitz (3/?)

Friends With Benefits by @juggieheadcoopers​ (4/4)

Deals with The Serpent by Gadhead Jones (23/23)

(If Loving You Is Wrong) I Don’t Wanna Be Right by Sil_bD9(5/?)

heaven in hiding by @thatfangirlingfreak (1/1)

Adam & Eve by @holdenjugfieldiii (8/?)

Carry On by citrusmuppet (10/?)

Wrong Place, Right Time by @gellbellshead (1/1)

Write me Lovely by @bughead4days(8/?)

Erika has been on a Serpent!Juggie role lately. She also has ‘Snake Skin’ and ‘Make it Alone’ and ‘Turf Wars'and ‘A Dangerous Game’ - she’s really prolific and knows how much I like Serpent Juggie and Betty - so I like to think she’s writing a whole bunch just for me. ;)

The Serpent and His Prom Queen by SereneCalamity (5/?)

The Serpent’s Captive by xxxShyxPrincessxxx (1/?) 

BRAND NEW and I love it!

Lionheart by @jerepars (¾)

Ash and Smoke by @saltyhowell (2/?)

Anxious by dreamersshouldknowbetter (1/1)

Talk Dirty To Me Part I (Owen Grady x Reader) NSFW

As requested by anon: pretty please write an Owen imagine where the reader is a new trainer and is staying at the bungalow with Owen. (possibly with lots of dirty talk) rest is up to you.

Warning: Dominant Owen smut lies ahead

Part two is here.

You’d fallen asleep to the sound of gentle ocean waves, and you awoke to clanking metal. It startled you, as you hadn’t realized you’d fallen asleep to begin with, but then again, everything startled you these days.

A few weeks ago, you’d been helicoptered onto the Jurassic World island for a job you knew nothing about, save for the fact that they were offering to pay you triple what you were making at the time. You soon found out that your work training dogs at the police academy in your home town had grabbed their attention, and that they wanted you to do “exactly what you’ve been doing, only a little different”, as Claire had put it so eloquently. The whole thing was very vague and borderline sketchy, and it took almost twenty minutes for you to finally figure out what the hell they wanted from you.

Raptors. They wanted you to train raptors.

You almost left right then. You knew damn well what happened two decades ago at the original Jurassic Park, and you sure as hell weren’t going anywhere near those things. Besides, what the fuck did you know about dinosaurs? This wasn’t a job for a dog trainer, this was a job for a…a scientist…or something. But then, right as you were about to say no, he walked in the room.

Keep reading

First Half of 2017 Fic Rec

A compilation of some of the fics that I’ve enjoyed this year [with little glimpses into the stories and comments about them, do check them out to see the actual summaries and do support the authors if you enjoy them as well 💕]:

  • trndsttrs of seoul by chimint || yoonmin, namjin || t || wip
    chatfic; jimin is a cinnamon roll and yoongi is whipped™.
    (literally the cutest thing ever, i reread it every day. jungkook calls yoonmin ‘dadgi’ and ‘jimom’ respectively (which is so fcking cute nghhh) and namjoon is the captain of the ship and they all ship ym - all concepts i am 100% up for. something to brighten up your day ^^)
  • The Songbird and the Sea by Misster Maia || yoonmin || bg taekook, namjin || m || wip || tw violence/graphic content
    pirate au with magic; pink-haired jimin with the blessing of the canary finds himself on the infamous pirate ship agust, with its even more infamous captain, min yoongi aka the black fox of the east.
    (the writing is amazing! i froth at the mouth waiting for this to update as it does very frequently! i am trash for both pirates and magic so wow, what greatness. a little slow burn, but with a reasonable pacing. also daegu bros are sort of actually bros here so plus points.)
  • Seven Days (Or The One Where Min Yoongi Asks Out Park Jimin Because Of A Girl) by minyoongayashell || yoonmin || bg taekook, namjin || m || wip || tw sexual content (but like, no actual sex)
    seven days au; jimin is called “cheot-nal ye” or “first day yes”. basically he’s famous at school for agreeing to date the first person who asks him out on the first day of the week - 100% of the time, he breaks off the relationship at the end of the week and the cycle repeats itself. now, yoongi hates this girl in class and she wants to ask jimin out. naturally, he has to beat her to it.
    (the manga was such a sweet thing and the fic gets me so excited. i don’t read a lot of high school aus, but this one is special! it’s not updated very frequently, but it’s definitely worth a read.)
  • Bullet Boy by sugamins || yoonmin || e || tw homophobia/sexual content || wip || tw references to drug use/depression
    in which yoongi’s an underground rapper and jimin collabs with other rappers to break into the scene and flash forward into the future, they are caught up in a ‘scandal the likes of which the industry has never seen before.’
    (the writing is so amazing, wow, it’s only on the first third chapter but the author makes it feel so promising. i kid you not, i actually messaged them and fangirled embarrassingly bc I am that kind of person. also ! underground yoonmin !)
  • Hiraeth by haruguk || taekook, yoonmin, platonic yoonkook || not rated but probably e || 100k || tw sexual content/graphic content/drug abuse/mental instability/psychosis || tw referenced child abuse/cheating/alcohol abuse/self-harm (basically a lot of warnings!)
    diary of an oxygen thief au; perfect fratboy jeongguk gets off of breaking hearts, but he can’t quite do the same to kim taehyung. “hurt people hurt people.” read the warnings carefully!
    (basically this fic broke my heart time and time again and everyone has probably already read this but i still must rec it bc it is that good.)
  • tats'n'thots by Death_Impala || taekook || bg yoonmin || not rated but probably m || 12k || tw sexual content
    tattoo artist au; taehyung to jeongguk: “I feel inspired, and I want to work with you, so how about this: let me tattoo you in any way I want, free of charge – with your input of course.” also, bottom jk. c:
    (i am trash for the using-your-body-as-a-canvas trope and similarly, or even more so, for bottom bby jk. :’) this fic is a blessing. taekook and art obviously belong in the same sentence.)
  • Idiosyncratic by jiminsfw || taekook || e || 19k || tw sexual content/knots/ruts/usual abo things
    a/b/o au; taehyung and jungkook are an alpha/alpha couple, and no one thinks that alpha/alpha couples can last. involves ruts and switching and so much emotion.
    (this was a particularly interesting read bc it took me forever to find a fic with alpha/alpha taekook! alpha/alpha taekook nghhh it’s just the cutest thing, a little sad, but ultimately very fluffy.)
  • Mileage May Vary by rix || taekook || e || wip || tw sexual content/age difference/strip clubs/recreational drug use
    “Jeongguk is a stripper with a penchant for trouble. Taehyung is curious.” taehyung is nine years older than jk, who has a prince albert btw. bottom jk as always. sort of soft sugar daddy tae? but not really.
    (once again i am trash for bottom jk. and all of rix’s fics are so good ;A; the quality just gets better and better. also, tae is once-divorced, heads up. in rix’s words, nothing really happens but still, it’s so enjoyable. <3)
  • spring day by Bangtanbananas || yoonmin, taekook, namjin || e || 70.9k || tw violence/graphic content/sexual content/mpreg/heats/usual abo things
    wolf au; only 5% (i think) of wolves find their fated mates (but most wolves believe they don’t actually exist bc soulmates?), and although jimin dreamt of finding his when he was a pup, he didn’t actually expect to in the mysterious alpha from the mountains.
    (i crave shit like this bc wolves + a/b/o + pack dynamics is just - c: omega jm and alpha yg, yes please. seokjin is the real mvp.)
  • half feral, but just right by themelonlord || yoonmin, platonic jikook || e || wip || tw discrimination/bullying/graphic content (but not really)/probably sexual content || tw referenced child abuse
    a/b/o au; in a world where alphas are considered little more than rabid animals, yoongi’s just trying to scrape by and achieve his dreams. but then he meets omega park jimin and his pseudo little brother, young alpha jeon jeongguk.
    (yoonmin with their son /dongsaeng jjk is evidently my absolute favourite thing. :’) i was dreaming about an au where the alphas are victimised for a change a week before i discovered this fic and i wanted to cry bc it was better than i could ever imagine it to be.)
  • These Lyrics Will Write Themselves by PrettyBoyKiller || yoonmin, taekook, namjin || t || wip || tw sexual content/cyberbullying/eating disorders || tw referenced homophobia
    sugar daddy au gone wrong sort of? jimin starts off as bulletproof ent’s co-director min yoongi’s nonsexual sugar baby, then eventually becomes an important part of both yoongi’s life and the lives of everyone around him.
    (again this is something that everyone’s probably already reading but i cannot leave it out of my list. it’s a very nontraditional way of showing sugar babies in terms of fanfic, with a gentle, natural progression of things, and you’ll surely grow to love all of the artists yg has under his label the way jm does.)
  • Laugh and I Love You by ifisayhiyousayoops || jinkook || bg vmin || e || 21.9k || tw sexual content
    canonverse; seokjin and jungkook are just - so domestic and codependent. literally it. the softest slice-of-life on this side of the internet.
    (jinkook has always been my guilty pleasure and i love them. bratty btm bby jk is basically my religion? i’m this fic is so well written! it’s very gentle and sweet and wow. i love love.)
  • The Letter Thief by d4wndust || yoonmin || bg taekook || t || 21.9k || tw depression/character death || tw referenced suicide attempt (proceed with caution kind of story)
    chatfic; “Park Jimin says his goodbyes through a text, but to a wrong number. | Min Yoongi makes Park Jimin live a little longer and Park Jimin makes Min Yoongi start living.”
    (ngl i was sort of apprehensive before reading it, but anon rec’d it so i read it at 2 am, and i don’t regret it? it made me cry, a lot, and it was pretty sad. and i don’t know how accurate/sensitive its representation of depression was in the text but yeah, i cried like an infant so it deserves a mention. but please please remember to proceed with caution!)
  • time follows you (and fades) by thebestofme || yoonmin || bg taekook || t || 17k
    hogwarts au; half-veela jimin finds himself in slytherin house and falling for slytherin prince, min yoongi. alternatively, jimin is so pretty and yoongi just wants to love him.
    (slytherin yoonmin! yoongi is such a sweetheart and he has a pet kneazle named holly. :’) jeongguk is also adorable, i’m so weak. the first part is in jm’s pov and the second one’s in yg’s, so you literally get two sides of the story. i am trash for hogwarts aus and i’ve probably read all of them, and this one is such a gem!)
  • Once Upon A Dream by yururin || yoonmin || t || 17k
    “soulmates AU where you can see a glimpse of your past life on the eve of your 18th birthday and Jimin dreams of a forbidden Joseon era love story with an upperclassman Min Yoongi, popular basketball player in uni, 18384/10 out of his reach”
    (what is sin - it doesn’t exist. this entire thing is so soft and cute and pure. a great pick-me-up!)
  • glub glub glub by rabbitme || yoonmin || g || 6.7k
    sort of chat fic that begins with jimin and yoongi missing each other.
    (such purity. i love love. basically ym travelling, together and apart. ot7 interaction is something to look forward to, as well. it’s so fluffy, please read this and be blessed.)
  • The Boy in the Music Box by Misster Maia || yoonmin || bg namjin, taekook || t || 52.5k || tw referenced abuse
    yoongi is a college kid with a dysfunctional circadian rhythm and whose grandmother claims to have been a legitimate magician/fortune teller in her time and forces yoongi to take home a music box. inside the music box is a ballerino - only, yoongi wakes up one late-evening-early-morning and finds the wooden ballerino missing, with a pretty boy named jimin in its place.
    (where do i start with this? i must say - i love love. yg falls hard and fast, it’s not even a spoiler. jm has many secrets. angsty but overall very pure. the fluff can make you cry, tbh. yg’s grandmother calls him yoonyoon, what more do you need. did i mention i love love?)
  • light side of the moon by themelonlord || yoonmin, namjin, taekook, 95line || e || 80.8k || tw brief graphic content (blood)/sexual content
    wolf au; jimin moves into a quiet town and befriends kim taehyung, who subsequently changes his life.
    (it is such a lovely story, very pure, very gentle, with filth. :’) nothing really happens; it’s just a story about a boy who finds himself loving a man who can turn into a wolf. the ot7 is strong in this one. highly recommended if 95line and puppy piles make you smile.)
  • King of My Heart by wanderment || taekook || t || 17.7k
    jeon jeongguk is the youngest son of the king of korea. taehyung is a friend of a friend - and a fan, but don’t let jeongguk know that. yet.
    (a very wholesome and pure fic. they’re all rich college kids in this; minus namjin who are jk’s bodyguards. it feels short when you read it, but definitely very enjoyable. it’ll make you smile.)
  • Movie Night by Misster Maia || yoonmin || e || 8k || tw sexual content
    the boys want to watch a horror movie and jimin needs a distraction. it’s a good thing yoongi’s such a great boyfriend.
    (pure, unadulterated, unapologetic smut. i figured i needed at least one on my list and this one does not disappoint. kinks include exhibitionism, praise kink, hyung kink, overstimulation, and dirty talk. also, jimin has a nipple piercing, bless.)
  • The Victorious V and his Vast, Venturesome Heart by aprofessorstale || taekook, yoonmin || e || wip || tw sexual content/identity crises? canonverse; taehyung is in love with love. jimin doesn’t believe in it.
    (this is probably one of the best non-aus i’ve read in forever. it’s very introspective, incredibly heavy when it comes to discussions of sexuality and identity. it is very well-written and the author had captured their personalities well, while sticking to a timeline mostly following reality. (basically everything happens post-ynwa era) taekook are complicated and as are yoonmin, and while the story isn’t over yet, it is definitely worth the read. nam2seok are the resident straights and they deserve to be loved. on that note! yg is demisexual, rejoice.)
  • I Wrote This For You by chikichikichuu || yoonmin, taekook || bg namjin || t || wip || tw referenced depression/self-harm
    the “cliffhanging heartbreaking motherfucking breakthrough debut novel” you will not read this story frustrates jungkook enough for him to send an aggressive e-mail to his newly proclaimed favourite author, min yoongi. (or, yoonmin through jungkook’s eyes. painful, yet worth it. taekook are relationship goals, basically, and everything is seemingly lovely until it isn’t. it hasn’t been updated since february ::) but it’s the kind of story that you can’t stop thinking about. suffer with me. <3)
  • a silhouette of new by mygz || yoonmin || m || wip || tw sexual content
    sugar daddy gone wrong au chatfic; an unknown number sends jimin a message, thinking he’s a sugar baby.
    (very very cute! i look forward to this a lot. yoongi and jm are both very natural and very adorable, spicy and sweet. uwu seriously something to look forward to if you’re into fluffy and sexy sugar daddy au chatfics.)
  • we put the gay in ‘gay’ by ThePurpleStarfish || yoonmin || bg namjin || m || wip
    chatfic; starts with hobi’s iconic line: “listen up sluts”
    (yoonmin-centred. it’s adorable, endearing, and the right level of ridiculous that will make you smile and cry in frustration. :’) they’re both so oblivious, i want to choke them. also jungkook is confused?)
  • Lurking Shadows by GrandDragon03 || taekook, yoonmin, nam2seok, platonic yoonminkook || m || wip || tw violence
    monster hunter au; jungkook is taken in as an apprentice by the legendary (and also married) hunter pair, min yoongi and park jimin.
    (this is so good? the world-building is a+. please read if you want to see yoonmin with their son jk and good writing. the summary is in first person, but the story itself isn’t written that way, i promise. jk is a reckless prodigy but yoongi’s working on it.)
  • A New World by lonelyonion || taekook, yoonmin, nam2seok || e || wip || tw graphic content/violence/character death
    super powers/not today au; “Jeon Jungkook was born to save the world, that’s a fact. Everything else, that was spontaneous.”
    (this needs more attention! it’s still very short but very well-written and i am sooo excited for where this is headed. there are also not enough nam2seok fics in the world. :’) also! author says not to worry about the character death, but let’s see.)
  • Breathless by makkurokuro93 || yoonmin || bg namjin || e || 37k || tw sexual content
    swim team au; after an unexpected break from the athletic world, yoongi finds himself back in south korea as their national team’s new coach. everything is almost the same as when he left, except, now, there’s park jimin.
    (admittedly i haven’t finished this yet. 🤷 but! it seems very promising and there’s a nuance to the writing that colours everything in this sort of hazy blue filter. it’s just really pretty, wow. i say this bc i haven’t gotten to the smutty bits yet, tbh. what i’ve seen of the characterisations are brilliant! will update this when i finish reading. ;; let’s scream together.)
  • Impractical Magic by springrain21 || yoonmin || t || 16.8k || tw dismembered toes/spirits
    witch au; yoongi is the worst witch jimin has ever met, basically.
    (so so so cute! thank you to the original creator of the tumblr post that inspired this entire thing bc it just makes me so happy. yg is such an endearing character, and jm obviously feels the same way. you will fall in love.)

I’m in desperate need of money, for no one in this house of 12 has a legitimate job. All money made will go towards food and water. 
My current goal it to try to make at least 300$, so 12 slots will be open. If you are interested, IM me or email me at fivedeadlywombats@gmail.com . [as yall can see, I don’t only do fantrolls]

Also, please signal boost this yall, I only have a measly 4 dollars to my name. No one in this home has any money and we have no idea when we’ll even be able to eat again. 

  1. @strawberriroyalty [DONE]
  2. @chromaticmaelstrom
  3. @wueyahfantai [DONE]
  4. @iskrowrioutha [DONE]
  5. OPEN
  6. OPEN
  7. OPEN
  8. OPEN
  9. OPEN
  10. OPEN
  11. OPEN
  12. OPEN
Draco Malfoy Headcanon:

Being Snape’s Daughter and Dating Draco

(Still figuring out this format, also I know this was meant to be an imagine but I had no inspiration, sorry)

~

• Snape would actually be the one to introduce you two, as he liked Draco and wanted you to have a respectable group of friends

• Draco would be hesitant to ask you out at first, because of your father

• And once he did he would want to keep your a relationship a secret, again because of your father

- “Draco, why are you so afraid of him? He likes you!”

- “Pfft! I’m not afraid of anyone! Let alone some old potions Professor… Wait! I think I see him coming! Run!”

• When you do finally get around to telling him, Snape would be conflicted

• On one hand he’d be glad it was Draco

• But on the other hand he wouldn’t like the idea of anyone dating his daughter

• Potions classes would be extremely uncomfortable for Draco.

- “I have a few potions questions for you Mr. Malfoy.”

- “Alright professor.”

- “How long does Felix Felicis take to brew?“

- “Six months.”

- “What is the name of the law that dictates how to brew antidotes?”

- “Golpalott’s Law.”

- “What’s my daughters favourite colour?”

- “Wait, what?”

• And whenever you and Draco would get in a fight…

- “How many times do I have to tell you, Severus, you have to have legitimate reasons to take points away from houses, and ‘Draco Malfoy is a lying idiotic dirtbag’ isn’t one of them.”

• That wouldn’t happen too often though, as Draco was usually a complete sweetheart to you.

• Awkward dinners at your house

- “Professor, could you please pass the chicken?”

- “We’re not in school Malfoy, don’t call me Professor.”

- “Ok I’m sorry, could you please pass the chicken… Severus?”

- *Awkward silence*

- “Actually, never mind, please do call me Professor.”

• But once time passed and he realized Draco was here to stay, he’d become more comfortable with it

• He would start to see Draco, like a son

• And he wouldn’t be able to help the slight smile that would play on his lips whenever he saw you two

• Because he knew you two were a great match

• If he didn’t think so he wouldn’t have introduced you in the first place

like we’re still dead

After the war, the King in the North travels to the Vale and takes a wife. 

dedicated to: @zip00198704​ for the first round of the @jonsaexchange. I tried to include as many of the  things you said you liked in the fic: wistful tenderness, a bit of angst, fierceness, false identity and [very light] smut. 

tags: jon pov, jon snow/alayne stone, trauma induced memory loss, sex wearing only stark furs, foreplay, threatening littlefinger with bodily harm, implied past baelish/sansa dubcon, jon thinks sansa is alayne, sansa thinks she’s alayne

3.5k words, title from  still by the japanese house. 

notes: 1) baeless’ motivations are not made explicit for the political marriage of his “daughter” to the kitn. he basically just doesn’t care that sansa and jon are brother and sister and is a creep who gets off on telling her to do stuff. basically all you need to know is he’s a creep. he plays only a minor plot role in this story i think he has two lines? 2) shoutout to jade_masquarade on a03 for inspiring this. i have talked to you only in the comment sections of our various fics but you seem great <3

Keep reading

bobafloutist  asked:

How about the thing where you have no idea how much time to put into a task? Like my boss will legitimately criticize me for rushing through things and making minor "mistakes" or being sloppy (he's a bit of a perfectionist) and then turn around and ask me why I'm wasting so much time on a minor task. Not only do I have absolutely no idea how carefully to do anything, but if the acceptable level of mistakes is 0 I will take half an hour to sign my name, just to make sure I did it right.

this right here!!! u know i always say my adhd gives me two options to do something 

1) “normal” speed but u gotta expect mistakes, less exhausting
2) slow but it will be checked thoroughly (more than once or twice), everything will be analyzed in order to avoid any mistake, will be a perfectionistic masterpiece but please don’t expect me to do anything else that day (ofc they do)