do some cardio

Dani's guide to getting Thick/Gaining Weight!

First off I just want to say that it is frustrating and kind of difficult, but completely possible of course!

*****This Is Just What I Do!*****

Number 1 rule, consistency is key! I have a hard time with that, but when I’m eating consistently that’s when I see results.

Number 2: The key to gaining weight is to eat more! Sounds simple but I know it can be difficult. You need about 500 extra calories a day to gain 1 pound a week. (*I personally don’t count calories though) Eat all the time, more than you usually do, eat until you’re absolutely full. Until you can’t take another bite! It’s going to be uncomfortable at first but it’s important. The more you eat the more your stomach will stretch, the more you’ll be able to eat! 

Good things to eat: Starchy foods like pastas and potatoes. Bread, cheese, peanut butter sandwiches, chicken, fish, rice, beans, anything calories dense but healthy. Drink lots of milk. Mix things, like beans and rice. All kinds of sandwiches. Bagels w cream cheese. Snacks like granola bars, peanuts… Not Junk food! 

I usually eat a bowl of oatmeal and some eggs with cheese on top for breakfast. A sandwich with some type of snack and a yogurt. And whatever my mom cooks for dinner lol. It’s usually some form of protein, chicken or fish and rice or pasta. And I snack throughout the day. 

Also to get extra calories in I drank nutritional supplements. There’s name brand ones like Boost and Ensure but I just drank the rite aid brand. I would mix a can with milk and it would end up being around 400+ calories. I’d drink them twice a day.

Number 3: Lift heavy! You want to do exercises that are going to shape your body. Squats, deadlifts, lunges, stepups, bridges, donkey kicks, the leg press machine all build up your booty. But there’s tons of moves you could do and tons of variations!

Work your abs to keep them tight. Keep in mind though, you can’t control where the weight you gain goes and everyone carries their weight differently. So, it’s possible you might gain a little on your tummy area and just doing ab work isn’t going to get rid of it. You’ll have to do some cardio, which probably sounds scary to someone trying to gain. But it’s okay, you can do sprints/hill sprints! You’ll burn fat and gain muscle!

This is like a basic plan, which just starting out is all you really need. There are weight gain supplements and protein shakes you could take, but I don’t think that’s necessary to begin with. It all depends on your goals, so research bulking and female body building if you’re going for a more muscular look. I personally just want to look thick, with abs.

*I don’t count calories because I know my eating habits. I normally eat two small meals. So changing that to three large meals plus adding snacks, adds more than enough calories for me to gain, no counting needed.

Feel free to ask me any questions you have! 

When I started it was like yeah OK I wanna get a leaner, more muscles body.  I can do that, do some cardio and use some machines, eat a little better, more protein, maybe a shake or two.  It’ll just be somethin to do in addition to all the other shit I do, reading and writing and drinking with friends and watching movies and TV…

Somewhere along the line that changed, I dunno exactly where or when.  Don’t really even remember how many months I been doin it for anymore, I just go, day after day.  I look at my closet and I do a doubletake cuz I dont remember gettin so much gear.  How did that happen?  Seems like every clothes I got has a Nike or a UA on em.  Dont even remember the last time I wore boxers or even boxer briefs.  Its been compression shorts every day for my whole life.  Was there ever a day I went to work I didnt have my gym bag with me too? 

Sometimes I think about the future and what could happen.  I keep pushin myself at the gym and it’s not enough.  Need more.  Ive been searching the internet for more things about muscles and sometimes I read so much about muscles that I kinda blank out and then come to and I’m in the gym again, and I’m counting one and I’m counting two …

Like just now haha I just looked up and saw football on the TV.  When did I put football on the TV?  I was watching some Netflix thing, wasn’t I?  I remember watching the game last night maybe I fell asleep with the NFL Network on.  I do that sometimes.  I got a pretty strong fantasy league this year.  But that’s not enough.  Need more.  Gotta play football too, I think.  Makes sense, with all this gear I got.  And this like, grittin my teeth shit all the time, like I’m gettin ready all the time for someone to just ram into me cuz I got the football.  And I have this weird feeling that the minute I hit “post” on this I’m gonna look up and I’m gonna be at the gym again, counting one and counting two and counting three and just really muscling through my reps and I’m gonna be sorer than fuckin hell but it’s all fuckin worth it, cuz muscles gear football is all that matters now.

Other shit just kinda fadin away.  I come a long way so far.  When I think about where I come from, it’s kinda fuzzy.  I still get alot of “smart” comments from people and sometimes it’s still a reflex but it’s harder to remember some things now.  Harder to remember the smart times.  The gym is so clear, muscles burning is so sharp, wearing gear feels so natural.  It isnt even gear anymore, its just my cloths.

Is this what I wanted?  Does it matter?  Cuz its happenin and I’m counting one and I’m counting two and I’m counting three and I’m counting four and I’m counting five…

Workout Plan (Ethan)


You leaned forward, gripping your toes, as you stretched out your legs on the cool gymnasium floor. You admired your new all black Nike’s, a Christmas present from Ethan last year that you hadn’t put to much use until now. You pushed down on the floor and propped yourself up to your feet, wiping any chalk and dust off your hands along the way. You looked around the empty room thankful that you had it all to yourself today. You let out a anxious sigh as your eyes scanned over all the machines, weights, exercise balls and other various equipment you didn’t know how to use. You could still remember Ethan’s eyes lighting up when you had told him you wanted to start working out and even more so when you suggested he train you.

“Getting to see my girlfriend in some sexy spandex shorts? How could I say no?”

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Prom Advice💕

I know it’s a little late for some of you, but for my girls whose prom hasn’t happened yet, this is for you!

-Start toning up! Do some light cardio on a regular basis, and try pushups and pullups if you don’t have weights or can’t get to a gym!

-Use a face mask the week before, and take good care of your skin!! Cleanse, tone, moisturize! Use a good serum & moisturizer for glowy skin!

-If you’re doing your own hair and makeup, plan out your look beforehand! Make sure you have all the tools and products you need so you don’t need to run out and get anything at the last minute!

-Know your angles for photos! Use a mirror and see what you like, and pose accordingly. Don’t force a smile if it doesn’t feel natural, it’ll just end up looking awkward!

-If you don’t have a date, don’t feel bad about it. It’s totally fine to just go and hang out with your girls!! Prom pics with your friends look absolutely adorable, and I promise the memories will be just as fun and happy. Don’t let whether or not a guy is with you affect the amazing time you should have!!

Ever since moving late last year I have been trying to get into a routine that makes me feel better both mentally and physically. Committing to a daily change is something I’ve wanted to do for a long time but always seemed to have a reason not to.

One day I decided to keep myself accountable and to not make any more excuses. I may not do a full body workout every single day, but instead started by focusing on doing some sort physical activity every day. To start off Monday, today I’m doing some light yoga and cardio.

I don’t know what tomorrow brings, but it just feels right trying to reach my goals one step at a time.

My outfit: Enchanted Shrug in Plum & Wishing Star Capri in Plum from Blogilates #Popflex line #DarkBloom

Happy Endings

Happy Endings (Part ½)

Bucky x Reader

MCU where Bucky and reader become unlikely friends. She falls for him, he gets there…kinda

WC: 1000

Warnings: Swearing (always with me), fighting (hand to hand - no one gets hurt), Bucky being aggressive (and a smart ass)

Part 2 will have the SMUT

AN: This is one of the first things I’ve ever written about Bucky. I’ve edited and changed so much and it’s finally complete. (Legit, i think it’s taken me like nine fucking months to actually get it done.) I really hope you enjoy it.

He heard the tinkling of your laughter as he waited for his coffee and sighed at the sound, grabbing his drink and searching for the source, he found you at the back corner of the dimly lit coffee shop, sitting with Nat, who smiled at him when he approached.

“Bucky!” Nat exclaimed, “Hey!”

He nodded, “Ladies,” he said by way of greeting.

You smiled up at him, “Hi,” you said, almost softly. “We could’ve picked you up a coffee if you wanted.”

“I needed a break from Stark,” he replied. Then after a beat, he turned abruptly and left.

You sighed, “The personality on that one,” you remarked.

Nat smiled, “You have got to admit that he’s gotten so much better.”

“True. I always just feel like i’m …annoying to him.”

Nat laughed, “Yeah, well, we all annoy him. Don’t worry about it.”

You nodded understanding what she was saying but at the same time, not necessarily agreeing. It was different with you. Bucky often acted like you bothered, sometimes going as far as clamming up and walking away from whatever he was doing when you were around. You tried to forget about his behaviour at the coffee shop but it hung over your head like a black cloud.

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Naive: Part 2

A/N: I’m so freaking happy you guys seemed to like the intro, I wrote this and a few other chapters up in one night! Hopefully I can get you guys as hyped as I am for this story

Word Count: 2k+

Warnings: Just cursing in this chapter because I have the mouth of a sailor. The stirrings of sexual tension. The big stuffs coming next time though you guys I promise lol

Summary: As the goddaughter of Tony Stark you were no stranger to the Avengers, but when you meet the newest member- you’re a little more then intrigued. Unfortunately for him, Bucky Barnes has caught your eye.


You’ve been at the tower for close to five-ish days now, and you’re still trying to get reaccoustomed to the enormity of the building.

Had it always been so fucking big?

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The only difference I’ve seen so far. I mean I know it’s only been a few weeks but I guess I was expecting a bit more. I’ve been going hard at least 4 times a week at CF and occasionally I’ll go to planet to do some cardio. My brother thought I could get below 200 lbs by today, February 1st, but I keep fluctuating between 210 and 205.

In other news, the guy I went on the date with the other day and I have gone out a few more times. He’s kind of amazing! I’m trying super hard to keep a level head about it all. I have a tendency to let my emotions get the best of me. So yea, that’s life lately

Chronic pain is not linear. Chronic pain is not predictable. Chronic pain is not easy.

Sometimes, you are simultaneously the voice moaning in pain and the voice soothing and reassuring yourself. You will survive this. You always do.

Yesterday, I fully subluxated my knee. I was already in a flare and working with a loose hip joint, but I chose to wake up early and do some PT/cardio before work anyway. During push-ups, I felt my kneecap loosening and moving until it finally swiveled to the side of my leg. It’s been painful and unstable for over 24 hours now.

It’s been over a year since I’ve had a full subluxation and over a year since I’ve used my wheelchair. Of course I thought I was making progress, but did I seriously think that I was… healed? That this would never happen again?

Ehlers Danlos is a degenerative disease - there was always going to be a peak, a plateau to my progress, before my ability and strength levels started to decrease again. It just hurts that it’s all happening so soon after I thought I was getting better, but I have to be realistic about it.

I didn’t cope with the return of pain from a sudden subluxation very well yesterday. I closed myself off to others, literally and figuratively, feeling sorry for myself and ignoring texts and tasks. I didn’t sleep well. I still feel pretty bad this morning, and it’s still difficult to put my full weight on my left leg… but I’ll survive this.

I always do.

Everyday Demons pt. 2

(A/N): Someone tell me why I torture my characters… whatever.

Pairings: BuckyXReader

Summary: The team is suspicious of (Y/N)’s powers and one night makes them snap.

Part 1: [x]

Warnings: Angsty? 

Tags: @sxph-t @iamwarrenspeace @bigfootsiddhartamama

To say after that night was rough was an understatement. (Y/N) had become very closed off and would hardly talk to anyone. They would lock themselves in their room, afraid of what came out that night and were scared to hurt anyone, especially their team. (Y/N) always knew the powers they held but they weren’t proud of it, not even a little bit. It was scary, dark and terrifying, hell it even scared (Y/N). (Y/N) had a rough past and joining the Avengers was the highlight of their life, even if the team thought they were a bit on the weird side but after that dreadful night, (Y/N) was beginning to doubt everything.

Bucky didn’t know what to do. He knew (Y/N) needed time but it wasn’t going to get any better until they came out of their room. He needed to train (Y/N). So, he made some sandwiches and a few extra items before walking to their room. He balances the food in one had as he lightly knocks on (Y/N)’s door and waits patiently but no one answers so, he knocks again. “(Y/N), it’s me. It’s okay.” Bucky states and he receives no answer back but hears a quiet shuffle on the other side before the door opens slightly. (Y/N) comes into view but looks absolutely miserable, their eyes are red, hair is a mess, and they look emotionally drained. Bucky frowns but holds up the food. “I brought food… may I come in?” (Y/N) hesitates but gives a small nod before opening the door so he could slip in.

The room which would look light and cozy is rather dark and creepy and Bucky figures it’s from their powers which are also based upon emotion. (Y/N) sits on their bed and Bucky quickly follows, handing them a sandwich. (Y/N) accepts it, giving a thankful nod before giving a sigh. “They’re scared of me.” (Y/N) whispers sadly and Bucky looks at them with compassionate eyes.

“I’m not scared of you.” Bucky states and (Y/N) averts their eyes to their lap, avoiding his stare.

“Well, you should be. I can’t control it, I hid it for so long…” (Y/N) murmurs out almost inaudibly and Bucky sets down his food before facing them completely.

“I know, let me train you. I’ll help you control it, I believe you can do it and I know you don’t mean harm. I can help you, you just have to let me.” Bucky pleads and (Y/N) stares at him shocked, unable to come up with anything. “(Y/N), please. You don’t have to be scared anymore.” (Y/N) gives a nervous gulp before taking in a shaky breath and nodding their head.


It was late afternoon when Bucky told (Y/N) to meet him in the training room. He told the team he was training (Y/N) and to leave them alone for a few hours which they all quickly nodded, muttering a few ‘Be careful’s. He wasn’t scared but he was scared he wouldn’t be able to help (Y/N) as much as his heart wanted to. It wasn’t long before (Y/N) came in, although a bit nervous but ready to train.

Training wasn’t at all bad, they both stretched and sparred with one another while also doing some cardio on the side. They did some weight training and boxing before Bucky decided it was time for (Y/N)’s most dreaded part. “So… what exactly can you do with your powers?” (Y/N) shifts uncomfortably, looking everywhere except Bucky.

“I can manipulate darkness and shadows which enables me to teleport within them. I can also control whatever lies in the darkness which explains… you know, that night. As you can tell by my ‘creepy vibes’ the darkness and demon control has its downsides.” (Y/N) mutters out and Bucky nods his head, figuring out where he wants to begin.

“Okay, let’s start with the basics. Why don’t you try block my hits with your powers?” (Y/N) nods, getting in a defensive position and Bucky sends a punch their way but with a wave of the hand, a cloud of darkness covers their body and they disappear. Bucky nearly falls over from the missed swing before standing confused on where (Y/N) went, when suddenly his leg is swept out from beneath him and falls on the ground with a loud thump. He looks up to see (Y/N) cringing slightly, offering him a hand up and he takes it, looking more confused than before. “What-How did you do that?” (Y/N) doesn’t say anything but points to the floor and Bucky looks down to see his shadow, it takes a moment but it suddenly clicks. He gives a big smile. “That was good! Let’s go again but don’t stop.” (Y/N) smiles at the compliment before nodding, getting ready to fight again.

They do this for some time and Bucky becomes amazed by (Y/N)’s powers the more he sees. It seems so effortless and fluid, how could (Y/N) say they couldn’t control their powers when they seemed to be doing perfectly fine? It wasn’t until Bucky knocks them off balance, ready to hit them when (Y/N) puts their hands up defensively, causing a burst of darkness to form a portal across the room. (Y/N)’s eyes begin to glow its creepy, reddish gold as the same demon creatures begin to run towards the portal and (Y/N) look at Bucky, absolutely panicked. “Bucky!”

Bucky runs up to (Y/N), grabbing their hands but unlike the last time, the portal doesn’t close. (Y/N)’s panic increases, seeing the creatures getting closer and their eyes glow brighter while the portal expands and Bucky suddenly remembers their powers are slightly based on emotions. He gently places his hands on (Y/N)’s face and looks them in the eyes. “Don’t focus on your powers, okay? Deep breaths, (Y/N), I need you to calm down. Focus on my touch and my voice, nothing else.” (Y/N) closes their eyes doing as he says, trying to focus on only Bucky and in an instant the portal closes, leaving the two of them in silence.

(Y/N) stands shocked before quickly pulling away from Bucky’s touch. He goes to reach for them again but they take more steps away, tears in their eyes. “Why did I think I could control this?” (Y/N) whimpers with a shaky voice and Bucky’s heart cracks at their broken voice.

“(Y/N)…” Bucky tries but (Y/N) takes mores steps away from him, several tears falling before they run out of the room leaving Bucky standing alone.

(Y/N) laid in their bed and cried for hours. There was no place on the Avengers for them. How the hell were they supposed to be good and save the world with powers of demons and darkness? As the night covers the tower, (Y/N) packs a backpack full of their belongings, looking at their room sadly one last time before vanishing into the darkness, leaving a small written note for the only person who tried to help.

I’m Sorry.


Summary: Stiles thinks he’s funny. Derek sometimes agrees. 

Notes: Based off this photo set. It gave me a kind of fun, silly idea, and I went with it. (On AO3)

Stiles shoots Derek a sly look and picks up his phone. He tips his head back against the couch cushion as it dials, letting his fingers trail lightly down Derek’s arm. “Hey,” he says brightly when Scott picks up. “Derek and I just had sex, and you didn’t call or text to interrupt. Are you okay? We’re both concerned.”

“Stiles, that was one time,” Scott huffs. “And I promise, it wasn’t on purpose.”

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Rowaelin Gym AU Part 1

hi guys! this is my first fanfiction here constructive criticism is appreciated

Next Chapter



With that lovely greeting out of the way Aelin settled in to her rack. And yes it was her rack. For years she has been going to this gym with her friends, Lysandra and Nehemia. Then all of a sudden this fucking… brute just shows up. It was like in class when no one assigned any seats but that seat right there is yours. Well no one had ever worked out at the rack on either side of the girls’ until this asshole started coming to the gym. Aelin would’ve been perfectly fine with it if it was once or twice and then he took the damn hint. But no.

About a month later she confronted him about it and they got into a huge shouting match in the middle of the gym. He must’ve not been used to people challenging him because he seemed kind of surprised that a “little girl” got up in his face. His words not hers. Honestly, Aelin wasn’t even very little. In fact she was about three inches above average thank you very much. Not to mention she was a black belt in multiple forms of martial arts and worked out seven days of the week. Just because he was a fucking sasquatch didn’t make her small. Either way, since then they hadn’t exactly gotten along.

Nehemia rolled her eyes, resigned at this point to their shenanigans as she liked to call it. “Aren’t you ever going to learn his name? Or get over this ridiculous… feud?”

“Feud? Jesus, Nehemia what is this, the Hatfield’s and the McCoy’s?” Lysandra snorted.

Nehemia shot her friend a look. “You know what I mean. Every day we come to the gym to work out and then those two have to disturb the peace.”

“Wouldn’t have to disturb the peace if he just moved.” Aelin commented loudly enough for the brute at the rack next to theirs to overhear.

If he did then he didn’t let on. Whatever.

Nehemia pulled out the bench and they started doing their reps. Back in high school they had been on the volleyball team together so they mostly used those lifts. And even though Aelin would deny it, she sometimes looked up new ones on Pinterest just for some variety. She was too stubborn to hire a personal trainer for something she could do herself. Especially after what happened with her last trainer. Aelin scowled just at the thought of her ex-boyfriend, Chaol. Oh, they had made their peace. That didn’t mean she couldn’t occasionally be bitter that she was dumb enough to get involved with someone she probably shouldn’t have. Even if she didn’t regret it necessarily. It just hadn’t been a particularly bright move.

“I want to go so hard today that you’ll have to carry me to the car.” Aelin grumbled.

“Hard day at work?” Nehemia asked, sliding on a forty five pound plate for their squats.

Lysandra dipped under the bar and settled it across her shoulders. Stepping out she glanced at Aelin to keep talking so she had some background noise during her set.

With a sigh, Aelin obliged her. “They just won’t listen. I don’t get it. Every idea I’ve ever proposed has been used and we always get good results. Why is it that there always has to be a fight over it? I’m the most qualified person they have but they always doubt me.”

Nehemia gave her a sad smile from across the rack. If any of them knew what she was talking about (which they all did) it was her. All of the men at her firm tried to steam roll her and put her in her place. Even though she never took any of it, the fight got tiring. And as one of the top assistant editors at the publishing house she worked at, Aelin knew just how exhausting it could be.

Stepping in Lysandra racked the bar and leaned back against it. “Honestly fuck them. I’ve seen your work, Aelin. You’re brilliant. And dedicated. If they can’t see that they don’t deserve you.”

“They definitely don’t,” Aelin chuckled stepping into her friend’s place under the bar. “That doesn’t mean I’m giving up. I just enjoy complaining. Loudly and often.”

Her friends smirked at the little tidbit they already knew.

“Oh,” Lysandra blurted like she had almost forgotten to ask. “Are you guys coming over to my place on Friday for that house warming party?”

“Of course, Lys, we wouldn’t miss it.” Nehemia said giving her friend a bright grin.

Aelin was in the middle of a set so she just her gave a look that said no shit. Lysandra and her boyfriend were moving into an apartment together. Aedion and her had been dating for over a year. In Aelin’s opinion it was way over due for her cousin to ask Lys. She was just happy they were together and took full credit for being the one to set them up. Now she was setting her sights on Nehemia. Even though she probably should be more concerned with herself, Aelin couldn’t really help it. She was a meddler at heart. Besides work had been so crazy recently. Not to mention she was truly happy being single. Ever since her and Chaol broke up Aelin has been enjoying her life so much more.

Once she racked the bar and Nehemia stepped in to do her set Aelin asked, “Do you think Dorian is going to bring his girlfriend? What’s her name…?”

“Manon?” Lysandra arched a brow.

Aelin snapped her fingers. “Yeah. Her. Why do I keep forgetting her name?”

“Maybe because they’ve been dating for like two weeks.”

“I think I’m going to like her,” Aelin commented thoughtfully, “she has spunk. Not to mention she’s the total opposite of that other girl. Sorcha wasn’t it?”

Lys shook her head. “Poor boy was heartbroken when she got that job in Europe.”

“Well, I agree with Aelin. I think Manon will be a good change of pace. Dorian’s always had a type, he needs to get out of his comfort zone.” Neither of the other girls had noticed Nehmia had racked her weight until she started talking.

Aelin snorted. Her and Manon were plenty alike and nothing close to Dorian’s usual “type”. But she kept her mouth shut about it sense she and him had mostly been a fling. They went on like that, efficiently switching out weights and chatting about anything that came to mind. After they lifted the girls stepped over to a little area on the side to work their abs and do some cardio. True to her goal Aelin staggered out of the gym smiling.


[Summer break 16.8]

I received one of my orders today. I’d bought this used book for two cents on Amazon, the only thing I actually paid for was the shipping. I shared about it on Instagram story, my first post since Sunday. I had then decided to calm down with oversharing on social medias so I deleted the Snapchat app from my phone, and stopped posting whatevers on Instagram.
Anyways, inspiration is still here – accompanied by some OJ since I’m doing some cardio at 6 p.m. (after this morning abs session!)

Listening to: BBC Radio One’s Old Skool Volume 1 Summer Mix (currently playing on the radio)

Confession #1,983

People don’t seem to understand just how scary asthma can be. They assume we can’t look after ourselves and we do it to ourselves. That we’re just lazy and need to go to the gym and do some cardio. They don’t know that every time we have an attack, every time something goes wrong we suffocate. It’s like drowning on dry land and with every attack, more lung tissue gets damaged, more measures need to be taken to keep us alive. Every time we wonder if this is it. If this is the attack that will finally kill us. And then for the doctors to assume we’re idiots. Because they don’t seem to understand that we have other things, other conditions that make asthma worse. That even though we take our meds, things aren’t working. And then the specialists tell you that nothing is wrong, that they don’t know why things are the way they are. I’m scared. I’m scared that one day this disease will kill me. That I’ll suffocate and I will die. And I’m scared

Rebel Teen Seiji AU

A SYRM AU where Iwaizumi doesn’t find Oikawa until 15-16 years later, when they’re in their mid-thirties and Seiji is in high school:

·Iwaizumi gets transferred to a hospital in Tokyo and is moving into his apartment when the door opens next door and his neighbor pops out to see what the commotion is about.

·It’s Oikawa. He may have not seen Oikawa in over ten years, but he’d never forget his childhood best friend, his courtside partner, the one he let get away.

·Distantly Iwaizumi remembers that Oikawa had gone to university in Tokyo so it made sense that he was still living here.

·Oikawa is wearing an apron and holding a ladle in his hand, looking incredibly domestic. It makes Iwaizumi’s heart clench, of course Oikawa has settled down. In fact, it was probably weird that Iwaizumi hadn’t yet.

·Oikawa’s eyes widen as he takes in Iwaizumi’s face, eyes trailing down his whole frame before flitting back to stare into Iwaizumi’s own eyes.

·“Iwa-chan!?” I-Is that you?” Oikawa drops the ladle in his hand and curses as it clatters to the ground.

·Iwaizumi bends down to pick it up and offers it to him. “…It really is you Oikawa. It’s been a while.” Iwaizumi finds himself a little breathless.

·“It has…” Oikawa takes the ladle carefully from Iwaizumi, holds it close almost like a child would hold a security blanket. “I hope you’ve been well, Iwa-chan.”

·Iwaizumi’s gaze lingers on Oikawa’s hands and notices he isn’t wearing a wedding ring. His scent doesn’t smell like his mate either, but Iwaizumi quashes the small amount of hope bubbling in his chest. Oikawa is cooking, so he might have taken his ring off, and maybe he uses scent blockers.

·Oikawa seems particularly flustered, cheeks red and fidgeting restlessly, but Iwaizumi figures that Oikawa had assumed they would never see each other again. Oikawa was never at the team reunions either, completely gone from the day he ran from home all those years ago.

·Iwaizumi had the distinct feeling that Oikawa had been avoiding him, but that ache had eased away with all the years that had passed. Though now, with Oikawa right in front of him, close enough to touch, the sting in his heart returned.

·Iwaizumi has an arm outstretched towards Oikawa before he realizes it, but a voice stops him from reaching Oikawa.

·“What are you doing to my Mom?” A teen comes stomping towards them from the top of the stairs and he’s wearing a hoodie and sweats, with a duffle bag strapped across his chest.

·When he gets within a foot of Iwaizumi, the boy knocks his head back to glare at him, and his hood falls. Iwaizumi freezes in shock.

·This boy is the spitting image of Oikawa, but his mess of curls are black, his face has a light scatter of freckles, and his eyes are hazel. He’s about as tall as Iwaizumi, and extremely pissed with a ferocity that Iwaizumi had never seen in Oikawa himself. But the anger the teen was expressing felt really familiar for some reason.

·“Seiji! You’re home.” Iwaizumi heard Oikawa say.

·“Yeah,” Seiji says. He circles around Iwaizumi like a predator stalking his prey before standing next to Oikawa. “Who’s this scrub?”

·Iwaizumi can tell this kid is a beta, but he seems more threatening than an alpha. He’s got a lot denser muscle than Oikawa had at that age (outside of volleyball, Seiji boxes), coupled with the ever-present grumpy expression and abrasive tone, the boy is intimidating.

·“Seiji, come inside and go to your room,” Oikawa sighs.

·“Not until this alpha harassing you at our door answers me.” Seiji puffs his chest out a little.

·“Seiji,” Oikawa says sternly.

·“But Ma—”

·“To your room now. I won’t repeat myself. You’re home late again. This man is fine, he’s—an old friend. So head inside already, your dinner is in the fridge.”

·Seiji pouts and for the first time since Iwaizumi has seen him, Seiji actually looks like Oikawa.

·“Ugh fine,” Seiji eventually relents, turning on his heel and going inside.

·Awkward silence ensues a bit after Seiji is gone.

·“Sorry,” Oikawa laughs tiredly. “He’s in his rebellious phase, I think.”

·Oikawa shuffles his feet a bit before banging and crashing from inside alert him, and he gives Iwaizumi a hasty goodbye before yelling “Seiji!” and shutting the door.

·After that reunion, Iwaizumi and Oikawa run into each other pretty often on the way to and from work, or doing everyday tasks like grocery shopping and taking out the trash.

·Slowly they fall into comfortable casual conversations again.

·Iwaizumi avoids broaching the subject of Seiji’s father though, it’s not his business, especially when Oikawa had been missing for more than decade. (Iwaizumi does find it odd the with all their run-ins, he’s yet to see a spouse)

·One day, Oikawa seems particularly worn-out and worried, so Iwaizumi has no choice to ask what’s wrong.

·Oikawa sighs with a bleak smile. “My son is a good kid… but he’s been acting out a lot lately. Maybe it’s my fault; being raised be a single parent isn’t easy, and I’m an omega no less.”

·Iwaizumi tries not to be shocked by this new bit of knowledge. A lot of things concerning Seiji’s behavior and Oikawa’s actions suddenly made sense.

·“Oikawa, it’s pretty clear your son loves and adores you.” More like Seiji was such a mama’s boy he was furiously protective of his mother.

·“I know, but—”

·“I’m pretty sure it’s just adolescence getting to him. You remember how we were at that age, always at each other’s throats, impatient, and constantly pent up with energy we weren’t sure how to expend…”

·Oikawa laughs at that and the tension diffuses.

·A couple of days later Iwaizumi runs into Seiji at the gym (Iwaizumi was doing some cardio, but on his way to the locker room he walks past a separate room with a boxing ring and finds Seiji taking quick jabs at a punching bag in the corner.

·Iwaizumi approaches him and Seiji glares at him when he sees him.

·“Stay away from my mom,” Seiji growls at him.

·“I’m your neighbor, that’s going to be a little hard,” Iwaizumi calmly replies.

·“Listen man,” Seiji says, ripping the headphones out of his ears. Iwaizumi can faintly hear music from a band he likes playing from them. “The last thing my mom needs is an old flame or whatever you are to mess with him, ok?”

·Seiji shoulders past him and picks up his duffle bag. “My mom has no interest in dating. Hasn’t since I was born, and probably even before that when whoever my piece of shit father was left him. Plenty of guys like you have showed up to bother my mom before, so leave him alone.”

·With that, Seiji walks toward the door, but Iwaizumi calls after him.

·“Maybe you should go home early enough to eat dinner with your mother sometimes.”

·Seiji slams the door on his way out.

·A few weeks later Iwaizumi gets a patient and it’s Seiji, accompanied by a panicked teammate.

·Seiji is sulking with a sprained ankle. He definitely looks like his mother now.

·Iwaizumi examines and treats Seiji professionally, while Seiji attempts to burn a hole in Iwaizumi’s head through his intense glare.

·A nurse goes in to teach Seiji how to wrap his ankle, massage it, ice it, rest it, etc. Iwaizumi goes out to see the teammate Seiji came with sitting outside with his head in his hands, muttering “it’s all my fault.”

·Iwaizumi asks him what’s wrong, mostly to diffuse his panic and prevent him from going into an attack.

·The teammate explains how he had been accompanying Seiji for late-night extra practices on his spikes and serve receives [truly like Iwaizumi, I know] but he tossed the ball to Seiji bad, yet Seiji still tried to slam it down, landing funny on his foot and then falling over because the landing rolled his ankle.

·Iwaizumi wants to laugh almost, but he’s livid that Seiji has the same self-destructive tendencies as his mother.

·Iwaizumi sends the boy home telling him not to worry, and then goes to turn in Seiji’s paperwork, as well as make a call.

·He finds Seiji later trying to hobble out of his room discretely, but Iwaizumi stops him.

·“You can’t leave yet.”

·He glares. “You’re not the boss of me. I’m leaving.”

·“You need a crutch, and you have a prescription pickup for a pain killer.”

·“I don’t have the money on hand for that, so no can do.”

·“I know. Which is why I called your mother.”

·“You did what!?” Seiji seethes.

·Just as Seiji hisses those words, Oikawa comes in with “Seiji!”

·Seiji’s face immediately into falls from anger to horror. “Ma, I—”

·“What were you thinking!?” Oikawa yells, and Seiji flinches just the slightest.

·“It’s not that big a deal—” Seiji weakly argues.

·“Iwa-chan told me you need a crutch and pain killers! Don’t try to write this off as ‘not a big deal,’ young man.” Oikawa says, with a trademark parent look of disapproval.

·Seiji whips around to glare at Iwaizumi and Iwaizumi tries not to feel smug.

·“I’m really fine Mom,” Seiji says when he turns back to Oikawa.

·“How can you be serious about volleyball if you don’t treat yourself, your own body, seriously?” Oikawa asks.

·Something snaps, Iwaizumi can feel it.

·“I’m as serious about volleyball as you are!” Seiji snarls.

·Again, his anger isn’t like Oikawa’s. Oikawa’s anger is a quiet intensity that chills people to the people to the bone, elicits fear from a person’s very core. Seiji’s anger was more explosive, more aggressive, more forceful, something that overwhelms a person and sweeps everything else away. Iwaizumi has felt that anger before, but he doesn’t remember where.

·Oikawa stares at Seiji impassively, having obvious experience with this anger for a very long time.

·“That’s rich coming from you, Ma! Everyone knows you pushed your body past its limits when you were practicing!”

·“Then why are you repeating my mistakes?”

·“I just want to be as good as you were! I want to make you proud, I, I…” Seiji’s voice breaks with emotion.

·“Seiji…” Oikawa murmurs sadly.

·Iwaizumi claps his hands loudly to draw their attention to him. “Alright, that’s enough out of both of you. You’re both being idiots. Seiji, you need to relax, you’re only a first year in high school. You have time to grow, and you can do so without injuring yourself. Oikawa, don’t be so hard on Seiji. He’s a kid, he’s bound to push himself and make mistakes, I know you’re concerned don’t make him feel worse for it. Think about the position you put your own parents did all those years ago.”

·Oikawa and Seiji wore matching pouts by the end of Iwaizumi’s speech, properly chastised.

·Finally, Oikawa sighs. “Iwa-chan’s right. I’m sorry Seiji. I was too harsh. I’m happy you aren’t hurt more than this. Now please practice patience while you heal up.” Oikawa pulls Seiji into a hug when he’s done speaking.

·Seiji’s lip wobbles and he closes his eyes as he buried his face in Oikawa’s shoulder and returns the hug. When he pulls away, he quickly swipes at his eyes.

·“How long am I on the bench for?” he asks Iwaizumi with a slightly petulant expression.

·“Three weeks,” Iwaizumi told him.

·Seiji’s eyes widened much like his mother’s when Oikawa was surprised, but he quickly schools his expression by taking a deep calming breath, something Iwaizumi remembers teaching Oikawa when they were in high school.


·Oikawa squeezes Seiji’s shoulder as he helps him away, giving a small wave to Iwaizumi as they left.

·Iwaizumi waves back with a fluttering in his heart. He knew what these feelings were, he knew they never really went away with Oikawa, but he also knew how sensitive his son was. He couldn’t intrude on what Oikawa and his son had.

·Seiji goes to the hospital periodically for checkups on his ankle, and on one visit, he holds out a bento box with the hand that wasn’t gripping his crutch.

·“What’s this?” Iwaizumi asks.

·“Gift from my Mom. He told me to give it to you if I saw you. So here.”

·Iwaizumi takes it. “Thank you.”

·“Whatever. I guess it’s ok for you to talk to my Mom. He looks happy after conversations with you.”

·After Seiji gets better and can’t deliver bentos anymore, Oikawa invites Iwaizumi over to have dinner.

·Seiji turns up to dinner more often then, on the excuse that he has to monitor Iwaizumi to make sure he didn’t do anything weird.

·Seiji ends up suffering through watching his Mom and their neighbor flirting like crazy, and he feels his dinner coming back up.

·“Ma… Are you sure you and Iwa-san aren’t, like, an item?”

·Oikawa drops the plate he’s washing and it clatters in the sink but thankfully doesn’t break.

·“S-S-Seiji, what are you even saying honey? Go to bed Sei-chan.”

·Seiji narrows his eyes. His mother never called him ‘Sei-chan’ unless he was trying to distract him.

·Seiji decides he’s going to get to the bottom of this.

·Meanwhile Iwaizumi and Oikawa are getting so close it was almost like they never had that huge clunk of time splintering their relationship.


·Iwaizumi tells himself it was because they were so used to each other that they were able to fall into their rhythm so easily again, not like they were soulmates or anything.

·Iwaizumi and Seiji also begin to bond with each other, Seiji looks less grumpy and more often happy, comes home more often, and stops pushing himself so much. He learns to accept mistakes me makes and grow from them. It makes Seiji more relaxed.

·Still, Seiji starts to go through everything in storage, finds old pictures of his mother and Iwaizumi as children, classmates, teammates. He finds old gameplay videos, watches them play perfectly on court with a tightness in his chest. But there was nothing past high school.

·After days, Seiji is about to give up when he sees something stick out of an old dusty book at the bottom of a box.

·Of course it’s a theory book on aliens. Seiji rolls his eyes as he plucks a letter from between the pages.

·It’s fully addressed to a residence in Hokkaido, dated about five years ago. Iwaizumi’s full name is written on the front.

·Seiji swallows nervously as he opens the sealed envelope and reads the letter.

·“Dear Iwa-chan,

·I don’t know where to begin. It’s been ten years since I last saw you. And Hajime, I…I have something I should have told you years ago. The thing is…”

·Seiji finishes the letter and his whole body is trembling. He doesn’t know what emotion is exactly wracking his body, but the letter is crushed in his clenched fist.

·He emerges from the storage room and slams the door behind him.

·Oikawa is reading on the couches and jumped at the sound, putting his book down and setting his glasses aside.

·“Seiji? I told you not to slam doors.”

·“How could you!? Why didn’t you tell me that Iwa-san is my father?”

·Oikawa’s face pales and his eyes flit to the letter in Seiji’s hand.

·“Where did you get that letter?”

·“Don’t change the subject! Tell me why!”

·“Seiji, Iwa-chan doesn’t even know you’re his son. Hell, he doesn’t know he’s a father.”

·“What?” The rage drains out of Seiji. He remembers the letter’s words, and realizes that he had been blinded with shock in learning his father’s identity, but the letter was a confession about Seiji.

·“Seiji, please calm down and let me explain,” Oikawa says, approaching Seiji.

·Seiji shakes his head. “I need to clear my head.”

·He leaves the apartment. And doesn’t return for two days.

·Oikawa is obviously distraught and on the verge of calling the police. Iwaizumi finds him like this, and Oikawa tells him everything, even showing Iwaizumi the letter Seiji had found. Oikawa is breaking down; he doesn’t care that he revealed his greatest secret. He’d give away any secret to get his son back.

·Iwaizumi surprisingly holds it together. He hands the letter back to Oikawa and tells him that he’ll find Seiji.

·Iwaizumi doesn’t have to look far. He finds the closest open field and sure enough Seiji is sitting there, staring up at the stars. Iwaizumi’s heart clenches because Seiji looks so much like Oikawa.

·Iwaizumi sits next to him and Seiji jumps. “Iwa-san!”

·Iwaizumi ruffles his hair. “Hey there. Thinking hard?”

·“If you’re here…does that mean Mom told you?”

·Iwaizumi nods, but doesn’t look away from the stars, tracks constellations he and Oikawa mapped as children. Iwaizumi nearly wishes he could return to such simpler times with Oikawa, but if he did, he wouldn’t be sitting next to his son at this moment.

·“Are you angry with him?” Seiji asks tentatively.

·“A little. But it’s more complicated than that. At the time he got pregnant, Oikawa and I were going separate ways for university. A relationship wouldn’t be very feasible, let alone raising a child together. One of us would have to make sacrifices. Oikawa made the choice for both of us. If I was younger, I might have yelled at him to stop shouldering burdens all on his own. A part of me still wants to.” Iwaizumi pauses. “The fact is we can’t change the past, but only move forward from where our pasts have led us. And you must realize Seiji, your mother loves you and did everything to protect you.”

·Seiji wipes his eyes briefly. “You really love Mom, don’t you?”

·“I do.” Iwaizumi stares into the color of his own eyes reflected in Seiji’s.

·“That’s what I don’t understand! If you two love each other, why couldn’t we have been a family sooner?”

·Iwaizumi sighs. “A lot has happened, years of estrangement and miscommunication. It’s my fault for not looking for Tooru harder, not fighting to be by his and your side.”

·Seiji stares at the grass, chewing his lip. Then he stands. “I’ll go to my friend’s place and pick up my stuff, and then I’ll head home. Let my Mom know?”

·Iwaizumi stands. “Sure.” Before Seiji leaves, Iwaizumi pulls him into a hug.

·A normalcy is established between the three of them afterwards, but the relationship seems a little shaky. One day while Iwaizumi is over, Seiji accidentally calls him “Dad” and everyone freezes.

·It leads to the three of them sitting down and discussing all their feelings, and It’s decided that given Oikawa and Iwaizumi were practically dating (“Just be official about it already, god,” Seiji groans) they should function as a family unit.

·The live like that for a few months until Seiji has a breakdown one day when he gets scared that Iwaizumi might leave, but Iwaizumi comforts him with telling him that he had been thinking of proposing.

·“You don’t think it’s too late for formalities?”

·“’Course not Dad! Mom will be so happy he might faint.”

·“Are you sure…?”

·“Don’t worry Pops, I got this!” Seiji says with a wink, looking far too mischievous and like Oikawa for Iwaizumi’s liking.

·Seiji tries to hint at more commitment to Oikawa, but spins it in a way that makes it sound like Iwaizumi wants to leave him.

·Chaos in the Iwaizumi-Oikawa household is averted when Iwaizumi pulls out the ring.

·Iwaizumi nearly gets a concussion when Oikawa tackles him to the floor, and Seiji dogpiles on top of them, nearly killing both of his parents.

anonymous asked:

Hello! I need your help / input on this. In 2014 I became anorexic, I can crash diet for 2 weeks and I reached my UGW. But then I recovered, I ate healthy, real clean, did cardio circuit and lifted weights. Now I am heavier than ever before. It has been 3 years and I AM GETTING IMPATIENT OF THE SCALE AND THIS "HEALTHY" LIFESTYLE and I am getting too HEAVY!!! I don't want to return to my old lifestyle, but I am planning to fast radically again. What do u think?

Skinny doesn’t necessarily mean healthy.

If you’re eating healthy, doing some cardio and lifting weight you are certainly building muscle. Building muscle will increase the weight on the scale but it’s a good thing.

Having a good lifestyle comes from inside out. You can look fit and not have a healthy mind.

You’re doing a great job, keep it up and you will slowly learn to have the right mindset.

More info on how to build a flexible diet: