Light Hearted Kastle Headcanons (Not filled with homicidal rage)
*Karen is the one who kills the spiders. You would think it would be Frank, but after one too many run ins with Camel Spiders in Iraq and Afghanistan (look them up, they’re huge and they climb in your sleeping bags), he can’t do spiders. So Karen has literally been woken up from sleep to go kill spiders in the bathroom (“Frank if you wake me up one more time to kill a spider I am going to make you start eating them.”).
*One night Frank keeps teasing Karen, and she teases back pointing out that on average people eat like 5 spiders a year in their sleep. Frank promptly leaves the apartment and returns with mosquito netting. Because Frank Castle may have seen a lot of crap but the possibility of a spider climbing in his ears is where he draws the line.
*Karen is a syrup snob. She grew up on a maple syrup farm in Vermont and she is the Syrup Queen. Frank just tunes her out when they go for breakfasts at diners and she starts on a tangent about how the syrup there is glorified corn syrup and these people should be ashamed of themselves, Frank, they don’t know what they’re missing.
* “Frank, putting toilet paper back on the roll won’t cause cancer.” “Well you always say I put it on the wrong way, so I’ll either put it on the roll or you can do it your way, but I don’t have the patience for both.”
* Karen and Frank met Captain America once, at a Stark Foundation fundraiser that Karen got into because she was the press. Steve Rogers and Sam Wilson knew Frank had been a Marine right away, and introduced him to his friend, Bucky. Bucky actually hung out with Frank and Karen most of the night. Karen had Star Spangled Man With a Plan stuck in her head for three days, and Bucky liked Frank so much that they started low key hanging out on the regular.
* Foggy and Karen introduced Frank to Llamas With Hats.
* Every now and again, when Karen and Frank are fighting, he’ll quote Llamas With Hats. Karen bursts out laughing and they forget to be angry.
* Karen had never seen Star Wars. Frank, Foggy, and even Matt were all personally offended.
* Frank is actually a great singer, and Karen is too. Neither of them knew it until one day Karen started singing a Disney song and Frank joined in and Karen almost lost her mind because that was the last thing she was ever prepared for.
* Frank Castle tried to arm wrestle Bucky Barnes at his and Karen’s kitchen table. One trip to Ikea later, and Karen has banned Bucky and Frank from any activities that may destroy furniture in the future. “If you’re gonna wrestle like children, take it outside.”
* Frank Castle may be a grown man but he still puts Bugles on his finger tips and makes claw motions while binging on Netlfix with Karen. Karen in turn makes Pringles duck faces.
@thedesertviking cause ya know I’m just ridiculous.