do not even complain you love it

anonymous asked:

happy birthday!!! you are an amazing writer :) could you do a little super hero au (young justice if u ever watched it? or teen titan-y) for klance? :D thank you and love you!! <3

i’ve never seen young justice and it’s been a while since i saw teen titans, so i’m just gonna try and aim for that and hopefully it’s ok~

“That was the fourth villain attack of the day,” Hunk groans, slumping on the couch. Pidge doesn’t even stop to complain, just trudges tiredly to her room, still smoking faintly from their last battle. Lance watches her go, feeling exhausted himself, trying to decide if he could make it to his room or if he wanted to collapse here.

“Good job, guys,” Shiro says wearily, raising his hand. Lance makes a noise and Shiro laughs a little, heading out to his own room. Hunk is already snoring on the couch, but Lance has decided he wants to sleep in his own room. He looks around, finally spying Keith. 

“Hey,” he says, reaching over and touching Keith’s shoulder where he’s leaned against the wall. Keith jerks a little, and then sighs. Lance almost laughs. He’d fallen asleep leaning against the wall. “You should head to bed.” 

Keith isn’t smoking like Pidge because he’s immune to fire, but he’s covered in scrapes and dirt from dodging attacks. Lance lifts a hand against a scratch on his cheek and runs his thumb over it – it seals itself under his fingertips in a cool motion. Keith’s eyelashes flutter. 

“You too,” Keith says, yawning. “You took that one explosives guy down by yourself.”

“I am,” Lance admits. “Just – waiting for you.” 

Keith blinks at him, once, twice, and then his eyes narrow. “Oh,” he says softly. Lance is too tired to blush, but he feels his heart skip a little bit anyways. They’ve done this a couple of times, usually too exhausted to think about it, but this is the first time Lance has made a point of asking Keith. 

The walk to Lance’s room is slow; several times they stop because one of them has stumbled and the other has to hold onto them so they won’t fall over. When the door whooshes open, Lance almost cries with relief. 

He strips out of his outfit, down to his boxers, and falls into bed. Keith does the same, clearly on autopilot, and Lance rolls out of the way just in time for Keith to fall into bed with him, exhaling softly. Keith tucks up against his side, his hair tickling Lance’s throat. He thinks it’s the most comfortable he’s ever felt.

“Are we gonna pretend this never happened tomorrow?” he whispers, reaching up to run his hand carefully over Keith’s hair.

Keith doesn’t reply, so he glances down at his face, unsurprised that Keith has already fallen asleep. 

“I hope not,” he sighs, closing his own eyes. He’s asleep in less than a minute, holding Keith close and drifting into dreams of fire and ice.

What’s up with all of the hate that is suddenly being thrown at Henrik Holm? He hasn’t done anything to hurt anymore. He seems like such a nice guy who takes his time to talk to his fans and is always talking nicely about everyone. He has shown nothing but love and respect for his character and the people who identifies with him.

Does the Skam fandom just need to always have someone to hate on? Is it that now that the show has ended and they can’t complain about it anymore people all of a sudden turn to hate on him just to have something to do?

Even if you don’t agree with everything he does or says you still need to realise that he is just a young man who is trying his best.
I’m honestly so tired of people turning over every single word he says to see it he accidentally words something in a wrong way. It must be fucking exhausting for him.

Just be happy that a character that you love is played by an actor that loves him just as much and stop pretending that you have never said anything wrong or enjoyed getting attention. Let him fucking live!

the single most messed up i’ve ever been from a moment was when we were doing a book signing in a town called Bristol in England, and we met one really emotional mum - a sad mum. i mean anyone would just get slaughtered by that, there’s no way you can stand up to a sad mum, and she was just like “oh, my daughter or my son have had a really really tough year” but she was really emotional and crying and she was like “i just want to say thank you, everything’s been terrible. but just because they’ve been watching your videos, they’ve been smiling and having a good time”. that was the most real i’ve ever seen something and she was saying “it’s not like you’re Superman or you know..” but simply like - she just wanted to say “thank you. beacuse just by providing this light entertainment, you’ve been so helpful. i really appreciate that you’re just doing whatever the heck it is that you do” and it was that moment where i was like “i can’t complain about anything really” because even if i doubt like “how good is my content? why am i doing it? what’s the meaning of anything?” all of that doesn’t matter when you have that one mum saying “thank you”. despite what you think of what you do, purely because of it existing, you’re doing this really great thing - and that’s just stuck with me for a long time.
—  @danielhowell (at Playlist Live 2017)

LETS

CAN WE JUST HAVE A MOMENT TO TRULY APPRECIATE JUMIN HAN.

This boy is precious. Not just when he’s in a romance, either. No matter how tsun-tsun he is about how he doesn’t really care it’s a stRAIGHT UP LIE.

He doles out paid bodyguards to every member of the RFA at the drop of a hat every time they’re in any kind of danger at all. He’ll send his drivers out for people if they need something and not even snark about it.

When Zen is self destructing and Jumin is hurt and angry with Zen’s behavior and insistence on a rivalry he’s not interested in, he still goes out of his way to protect and help Zen, shields his privacy, bends his rules, and even hunts Zen down to help him out of his funk.

He is protective of the MC even when he’s not in love with her, and asks her to call him at any time if she needs anything.

If you regularly call the characters because you have all the call cards… do you know who answers the most and at the most random times? It’s not your routemate. It’s not Zen who adores you regardless.

It’s Jumin.

Call him at 3 in the morning. He’ll answer while he’s doing paperwork. Call him in the middle of the day and he’ll complain to you about the work he’s stuck doing. Call him when he’s gone away to his quiet place to get away from everyone else and all the noise, and he’ll still talk to you. HIT ON HIM LIKE THE THIRSTIEST GIRL IN THE WORLD and he’ll just politely brush it off and keep chatting with you.

He never says “I’m too busy to talk to you stop calling”, he’ll just do his business while talking to you between it. You don’t have to pry into his heart to befriend him, he’ll cheerily suggest you join him in teasing Zen when he barely knows you. He’ll also offer to let you meet Elizabeth when you’re practically perfect strangers

This dude doesn’t know the MC on most routes. He has no reason to humor her about anything not to do with the RFA. He claims he doesn’t like chit-chat. He still answers her and entertains her.

He doesn’t approve of Yoosung’s behavior at all and is disappointed completely and yet he is earnestly willing to give Yoosung a job at his business as soon as Yoosung is out of college. Zen keeps rebuffing him coldly without explanation and yet he’s absolutely willing to prop Zen back up again and use all of his connections to help Zen reach stardom if Zen would just let him.

AND WHEN YOU’RE ON HIS ROUTE.

there’s almost no time he won’t answer the MC. Even when he won’t answer ANYONE he’ll almost always answer the MC’s calls. He’ll call just to hear her voice and admit to not knowing what to say. She practically only has to ask him to do something and he’ll relent immediately.

And while he’s paranoid in his route, keep in mind the MC is actually the safest of all routes. Because for all of his paranoia he’s literally actually protecting her from dangers all the other RFA fail to.

AND

AND

As dedicated as Zen is, as much as he professes endless love for the MC, as much as he says he cares more about his love than his career, there is no time in which he chooses the MC over his career. There is no timeline where he abandons acting so he can be with her. There’s not even a timeline where he refuses to hide her even though it will stall his acting career. Even in the good ending where he reveals her, he later signs a contract that says he needs to keep the MC on the downlow and not be seen with her in public. Again, even in the ending where the MC is emotionally and verbally abusive to him and he just bows his head and takes it because he needs to be with her, he is still acting. He hasn’t even quit acting with female leads that make her jealous!

Jumin, on the other hand, will literally just quit his ludicrously expensive job without the MC so much as whispering a suggestion of it. He just wants to be with the MC more, and he’s sick of his job interfering. And in the ending where he doesn’t do that, he announces her publicly, marries her publicly, and gets angry with his work when it forces him to be away from her too long.

He runs himself so ragged forcing and slamming through his work in time to get home for Valentines day that he practically collapses from exhaustion once he gets there.

Zen might make fun of him for being so sure that he’s dedicated to the MC more than anyone else…

but boy

that’s because

Jumin is.

He’ll give up Elizabeth for the MC if she asks. He’ll keep Elizabeth if the MC asks him to. When he’s out working, all he thinks about is the MC and everything he sees reminds him of the MC.

He will worry excessively over everyone in RFA, MC included, even when he’s not in love with her. He’ll tut and play father role for Yoosung and for MC (spamming the chat with “I don’t agree with two people living together unmarried” in Zen’s route), he’ll worry over Seven and support him even when he’s savagely smacking him down over Elizabeth.

He gives Yoosung a reward when Yoosung doesn’t expect one!!

He’s SAVAGE

He’ll just keep making jokes and stupid puns until someone (usually MC) laughs about it and have no shame

HE READS THE MC A BED TIME STORY

THIS MAN

PLEASE APPRECIATE THIS MAN

on the new Iron Fist series

So after binge watching a ton of Marvel’s new Iron Fist series, I went onto tumblr, wondering what the fandom was up to now, what with all these new gifs and stuff to make. ‘Maybe I would find some fan art or something’ I thought innocently to myself,

BUT BOY WAS I WRONG

instead, I was greeted with SO MUCH DISCOURSE on how Iron Fist ‘needs a chinese-american actor’ or ‘has terrible dialogue and is slow’.

the best part is when I found out that some of y’all are trying to get this show boycotted like ‘????’

Now as a Chinese-speaking Asian female, living in Asia, with an Asian background and a good know-how of Chinese history, as well as a decent knowledge of comic books, (although I confess I got into the animated series first) I’m here to end the discussion before y’all get your full rage on and start fighting fans of the show like it’s Lord of the Flies up in here

So keep reading if you want to be educated or if you just want to fight me before you know what you’re even talking about

“THE SHOW INSULTS CHINESE CULTURE”

Uhhhh…no? I’ve seen a few episodes and I mean so far there isn’t really anything that screams ‘insult’ or even offensive in the slightest. Besides maybe the fact that they take the beliefs and twist them a little bit but honestly even that ain’t that bad as to what I’ve seen elsewhere.

I’ve read the boycott post and let me say that yea, they dressed him with an eye for Asian elements, but maybe that’s because it’s supposed to be resembling Asian clothing? I mean how is that offensive? Is it the part that it looks Asian? Or that you simply feel that white people that direct these shows should not be using Asian stuff for entertainment? Because I hate to break it to you but it’s still not offensive. Even the dragon tattoo is totally fine because it’s supposed to resemble Asian elements yea but also have y’all read the comics? Because he punched through a dragon and basically took it’s heart. So I mean a dragon tattoo kinda matches the theme.

I mean in the first episode they speak almost flawless Chinese for Pete’s sake! Hell, I was surprised that they even had it in them to have a non-Google translated line. Sure the accent was a little overdoing it cuz not even I have that thick a Chinese accent but I’ll excuse it since he was apparently learning and speaking 15 years. (I speak it maybe a few times a day for like the last 14 years or so only)

So no, the show doesn’t really insult Chinese culture, sure they might be ignorant, but you must understand that after generations of stereotypes and misconceptions that that can’t just go away with one show

“Danny Rand should be played by an Asian guy/be a Chinese-American”

I can’t even begin to tell you my frustration about this.

Y’all do know this show is based on the comics right?

You know, the one with the white guy.

I know Marvel is infamous for not including enough representation in their shows but seriously? This is like the Harry Potter thing all over again with Hermione being black, it’s not that we don’t want representation or anything, but it’s the fact that this hero that us comic fans have come to already love has been replaced. Or at least it feels like it. Like when a movie is made from a book and people go crazy because character XYZ suddenly has different traits or isn’t quite what was described as compared to the book.

Frankly, it sucks.

So even though yes, Marvel should have more Asians in their shows, don’t expect them to completely give the main character a makeover, even if the makeover was supposed to provide representation. And honestly? I don’t want them to change him because I really freaking love Iron Fist, just as he is.

“This show just villainizes Asians”

So you tell me that my race is being made villains because Marvel decided that most of their Asians on their shows are evil ninjas (aka the Hand) and at most there are like 3 sorta good Asians. Oh and I’m sorry, you want more Asian men that are good guys? You want a balance of Asian heroes?

Well I guess that would be kind of hard to fit into the story since, oh, I don’t know, everything happens in the USA?

If you want more Asian characters well then look no further because you do have them. Daisy Johnson from Agents of Shield? What about her extremely brave mom? Or maybe Colleen in Iron Fist? Everyone seems to be blatantly ignoring her badassery and only seeing the part where she’s a sorta love interest.

Facts are, there are Asian characters, you’re really just looking hard enough. I agree wholeheartedly when you say that more Asian men need to be in the Marvel universe that aren’t part of the bad guy team but you gotta say that they are still awesome.

Does anyone even remember the Japanese ninja yakuza guy from Daredevil? Dude got set on fire and STILL came back to kick ass. That’s a plus in my book because even though he’s considered bad, he’s been proven to be cunning, smart, and overall awesome.

“The show has terrible stunts/acting/dialogue/fight scenes”

From here on out it’s mostly just me trying to explain why the directors and writers of the show made decisions in the show to make it what it is, so let’s dive right into it.

  • STUNTS

Actually the stunts weren’t half-bad. If you’ve seen other shows or movies that are heavily reliant on stunts and action, and compare it to this show, they really aren’t that much different. Sure it might seem a little unbelievable sometimes like they’re breaking physics or something, but he already has a glowing fist. I think we’ve crossed the line of believable long ago.

  • ACTING

I have nothing to say about this except that go and take some acting or drama classes before coming and criticizing these awesome men and women who did indeed try their best

  • DIALOGUE

Now I get the dialogue might be a little weird at times and what not, but you must understand that this show was partially written with the Defenders series in mind. So almost everything that was said in the show is meant to lead to something more. Thus, you must take it as a bigger picture. Sorta like how everyone said that Fantastic Beast and Where to Find Them wasn’t as good as they thought it would be, that movie was also meant to lead on to a bigger story so you might want to excuse the weird speech and cryptic lines at times.

  • FIGHT SCENES & ACTION

Okay seriously people, please read the comics. Danny Rand is supposed to be an accidental hero, one that doesn’t want to fight unless he really has zero choice in the matter. So yea, the fight scenes won’t be that interesting, but only because the character in question is more interested in ending the fight than anything.

~

So there you have it, my whole slightly angry info-dump on Iron Fist and Marvel’s representation problem in general. If you want to correct me or scold me even then by all means message me or shoot me an ask. But just keep in mind that Marvel can’t make all your problems go away in one show, and please for the love of all that is good read the comics before coming to rant okay?

anonymous asked:

I'm straight but I think you should really stop talking about being gay so much. It doesn't help the LGBT community at all, and it's really quite excessive.

‘i’m straight but…..’

I, a Gay, would just like to say, with my Gay Voice, that you, a Straight™ (ie not Gay like me), have no right to tell me, a Gay, that me talking about my Gayness is excessive.

Do I, a Gay, complain, with my Gay Voice, when Straights™, being not Gay like me, marry someone they don’t love and cringe every time they see a Gay Couple, like me, a Gay, kiss or hold hands, in a Gay Way

Do I, a Gay, complain, with my Gay Voice, when Straight Cis Men™ refuse to even change a diaper or make their own meals? Do I, a Gay, complain, with my Gay Voice, when Straight Cis Women™ laugh uncomfortably when Gay Folk refer to their partners as wife/husband/spouse, in a Gay Way

Do I, a Gay, complain, with my Gay Voice, when Straights™ use slurs as jokes to prove how Straight™ they are because ‘Haha, Chad, don’t worry, I’m not a homo!’? 

Do I, a Gay, complain, with my Gay Voice, when Straights™ whine about having too many Gays, like me, on television, because it’s ‘not realistic’ that so many people are Gay, like me, a Gay?

I mean. Those are bad examples because I, a Gay, most certainly do complain, with my Gay Voice!

In conclusion…

Shut the fuck up. I’ve been in the closet for almost two decades. If I want to talk about my gender and sexuality, I fucking can. :) Sweetie :)

~I’m Gay~

(please note my use of Straight™)

PSA:

    if you play ANY sort of villainous character - from a pick-pocket to a full-scale serial killer - and i follow you, please know that i’ve come into this FULL WELL what i’m signing up for. i don’t expect you to soften your character for me, i’m not going to complain when they aren’t nice to my characters, and i honestly probably love watching them do what they do. not all characters are going to be the “good guys”, or the type of villain that can be redeemed. not everyone has a tragic backstory that makes them do the things they do - some people enjoy it, others just do it because they can, and for some it’s all they know. yes, there are villains with a soft spot or two - this doesn’t mean they need to change everything. our characters become friends/lovers even though my character is a “good guy”? you keep doin’ you. keep stealing those purses, killing those people, burning those villages to the ground. 

        tl;dr - I DIDN’T FOLLOW YOU BECAUSE I WANTED SOMETHING SOFT AND EASY - you keep bein’ a villain, babe, cause you’re  just as excellent as the heroes.

honk honk its hance time
  • best friends since literal birth. since before birth. their moms were friends before they were born
    • so many embarrassing baby photos of the two of them in matching halloween costumes e.g. as woody and jessie from toy story
    • so many videos of them as little kids playing in hunk’s backyard, pretending to be explorers on a new planet
    • so many pictures of them at important events in each others’ lives (hunk at lance’s mom’s wedding, lance at hunk’s first piano recital, and of course hundreds of pictures of them at school dances, family vacations, award ceremonies)
    • also they “got married” at age 6 in lance’s bedroom and they both have photos from the wedding saved on their phones
  • hunk: [hyperfocusing] lance: [drawing hearts on post-it notes and slowly covering hunk’s back with them]
  • lance is chronically unable to not talk about hunk. doesn’t matter what he’s talking about, he will somehow relate it back to something hunk has said or done
    • pidge plays a game where she’ll bring up the most absurdly specific and obscure topic of conversation that she can think of with lance, and time how long it takes for him to start talking about hunk
      • his longest record is forty-eight seconds
  • lance: [takes hunk’s hands from behind, makes him dance]
  • both like to stim by making noise & like to copy each others’ noises
    • they will be sitting in the same room, working on separate projects, saying “bleep bleep bloop” back and forth to each other
    • they’re also the Spontaneous Harmonizing couple
  • hunk: [picks up lance when he’s in the middle of talking and just. holds]
    • lance continues talking almost as if he doesn’t notice
  • lance when hunk is being needy: ugh god hunk you’re driving me crazy, why am i even dating you hunk: ok let me just remind you that i, hunk, bore earthly witness to your real actual middle school scene phase, i was there, in the trenches, on the front lines, and i still had a crush on you so you don’t get to complain about anything i do literally ever
  • can smell each others’ meltdowns coming a fucking mile away
  • if one is ever hyperfocusing to the point that it’s sort of Bad the other will just. come over and take his hands and say “ok you’re done with this for now” and take him to get some food goo
  • lance loves when hunk lays on top of him it’s like he’s under a big ol rock and he feels safe and grounded
  • hunk when lance does something cool: [yelling] THAT’S MY HUSBAND
2

Small gems like her are as easy to lose as a cell phone, but instead of just getting a new one from the store you have to snatch it out of the air, lock it in your bathroom, and re-indoctrinate its entire system of beliefs

#GrowingUpWithStrictParents

- All jokes turn into a lecture, and get mad when you don’t joke around with them.

- I literally can’t change in my own room cause I’m too scared one of my parents are going to barge in my room without knocking

- Having to use headphones every time you’re on the internet to avoid parents coming in and making you turn the computer off.

- Dealing with their hypocrisy. Like no joke, my mom told me all I have to do is eat, sleep, and study for the rest of my life, so I wouldn’t waste my life.

- When one thing goes awry in the house, all hell breaks loose.

- Saying no to all your friends’ invites because your parents won’t let you.

- Learning to lie automatically because there was no privacy in your life.

- Literally rules about rules

-  "I always love you, but I expect you to behave in this way,“ or, "I know you can do better.’”

- Yelling about how stupid you are, but then expect you to be happy two seconds after.

- Complain that you don’t study enough, even if your grades are perfect

- Complain you don’t eat enough, but call you fat.

- Scarce communication.

- Nagging. Dear lord, the NAGGING

- Not allowed to do the things you want, just what they want.

- When you do get to hang out with your friends, you need to collect all their parents’ phone numbers.

- Getting really confused when you see your friends get to go wherever they want.

- Doing all of your work just so you won’t need to experience the horror of your parents yelling at you.

- All your decisions were made for you

- Making you study certain subjects so you’ll be what they want you to be when you grow up. 

*All these points are from personal experiences* 

but do you know what makes me feel so content? that people who like william never fucking complain when we get other clips. mohnstad and noorhelm shippers are like the most chill people in the skamily. not throwing shade on others (because i love sana, yousef, even, isak, eva, p-chris the most, therefor i - too - qualify as s3, s4 stan) … but i only see hate going one way here. the people who moralise about how wrong bullying, ignorance, discrimination are, do it the most!!!

So we see a lot of Drarry scenes take place in potions class, but how about a Pansmione potions scene. Just imagine:

  • Snape puts students in Slytherin/Gryffindor partnerships to piss everyone off (cuz really, what else would you expect from Snape)
  • Pansy and Hermione get partnered together and complain like crazy
  • “Merlin, don’t put me with Granger. Her hair’s so big I won’t even be able to see the cauldron.”
  • (But secretly Pansy loves the way Hermione’s hair gets frizzy from the heat)
  • “I can’t be with Parkinson! She probably spent so much time doing her makeup that she didn’t even do the reading!”
  • (But secretly Hermione finally understands the appeal of makeup because if it can make Pansy look that good…well…)
  • Turns out Hermione was right and Pansy hasn’t done the reading
  • Not because she was doing her makeup but because Snape wouldn’t take points from Slytherin even if she blew up the classroom. It’s about priorities, honestly
  • “Stop bossing me around, Granger. I don’t take orders from Gryffindors.”
  • “Well, maybe if you knew what you were doing I wouldn’t have to.”
  • “Sod off. I know what I’m doing.”
  • “Whatever, Parkinson.”
  • They fall into a simple rhythm, with Hermione reading off the next step and Pansy completing it
  • Their hands brush when they reach for an ingredient at the same time and both gasp and jerk apart
  • When class ends, Hermione opens her mouth to say something, but Pansy’s already left
  • When Snape pairs his students with their own houses the next class, Pansy and Hermione exhale in relief like the rest of the students, but their eyes stray towards each other
  • In that moment of eye contact, they see their own desire reflected back at them
  • Suddenly Pansy raises her hand and asks to be excused to use the restroom
  • (To which Snape easily agrees)
  • Hermione raises her hand a minute later and asks if she can go see Madam Pomfrey
  • (To which Snape only reluctantly acquiesces) 
  • Pansy is waiting for her when she gets outside
  • “Granger, I’m surprised you’re so willing to miss class. Aren’t you worried you’ll miss something important?”
  • “That’s why I came. I was worried I’d miss something important.”
  • Hermione presses her lips to Pansy’s before the other girl can reply
  • “Granger…that was…brilliant.”
  • “My hair wasn’t in the way?” Hermione teases with a smile
  • Pansy grins back “Actually, it was incredibly sexy. I can’t imagine how I didn’t see it before”
  • This time Pansy’s the one to go in for the kiss
  • Neither girl goes back to class for a long while
monsta x as boyfriends

shownu

  • the boyfriend who loves to buy you stuff bc he’s always thinking of you but gets a size too small and didn’t ask for a gift receipt
  • constantly bickers with you over the tiniest things but in a playful way, he likes that you’re not afraid to tell him what you’re thinking
  • has a bunch of inside jokes with you, will literally say one word and you’ll burst out laughing. the members just think he’s super-upped his variety game
  • sends you lots of blurry selfies and texts with typos

wonho

  • willing to wake up with a “bloated” face so he can have late-night ramen parties with you
  • takes a while to open up to you about deeper, more personal/emotional problems but will immediately go to you once you two have reached that level of closeness
  • he laughs so much when he’s with you that the other guys tell him to shut up and he goes “mmm nope” and squishes your face
  • enjoys just spending time with you. sometimes you’ll come over and read a book while he messes around on the keyboard

minhyuk

  • probably the most cliché bf out of mx, he wants to protect you and take you on cute coffee shop dates and hold you when you cry
  • almost always holding your hand, he doesn’t even really think about it but his hand reaches for yours
  • your #1 fan. he screams hysterically over everything you do and it’s nice but surprising sometimes so you’ve learned to tune him out
  • never gets tired of hearing you say that you love him.
  • likes to ask you hypothetical questions about your relationship under different circumstances (“if we were in the hunger games but we weren’t from the same district, would you kill me or would you save me so we could both be victors” “minhyuk go to sleep”)

kihyun

  • likes to listen to you complain about your week, the little stories you tell him spice up his (quite lonely) idol life
  • will do all he can to take care of you so he absolutely loves it when you baby him and do the same
  • sings sweet songs to you when you’re cooking together and will throw you the occasional wink over his shoulder
  • if y'all aren’t cooking, he’ll take you out  to eat good food and photographs the food and your beautiful self :)
  • sends you all his selcas to look over before he posts them on social media

hyungwon

  • the one boyfriend who changes five months into the relationship bc he’s comfortable now and unleashes his inner meme
  • likes to wrap an arm around your shoulders or waist and tuck you into his side
  • teases you in every way possible. want a kiss? cuddles? a bite of his food? you gotta work for it
  • thinks you are the cutest bun in the world and talks to minhyuk about you nonstop. minhyuk’s like “i love them too but why are you telling me how they like their bagels again”

jooheon

  • has you saved as “my honey🍯” on his phone
  • isn’t great about responding to texts but is very routine about late-night phone and video calls
  • so easy to tease and he’ll pretend not to get worked up but start talking very loudly in his grandpa voice w lots of hand gestures
  • somehow manages to bring you up in every single conversation he has with anyone who’s willing to listen
  • gives such nice/thoughtful/expensive gifts that he makes you look bad when you tell your friends

i.m

  • sending each other memes/gifs is a must. if he’s smiling at his phone someone might think you sent him a cutesy text that made his heart flutter but no it’s a meme
  • prob asks you to look over his lyrics sometimes if he’s stuck or thinks something sounds awkward (“babe, what’s a synonym for ‘love’?”)
  • totally calls you babe. sometimes it comes naturally and sometimes he’s squealing on the inside as he says it
  • on that note, he bounces between greasy “fresh out of the fryer, must be drained before consumption” and “wikihow: how to act cool around your crush”
  • most dates are spent snuggling together in bed, talking about the future, and eating snacks/getting crumbs everywhere

A/N: whew i cranked this out super fast and got really excited about it so i posted it!! i’ll be opening requests in 2 weeks if anyone’s wondering~ also thank you to everyone who’s followed me and a HUGE thank you for 1000+ notes on the “sleeping w monsta x” post!? that’s amazing holy crap thank you so much

What Your Sign Has Taught Me
  • Aries: People are forever moving, and just because you're content with being stagnant doesn't mean everyone else is going to be too.
  • Taurus: People are going to do what they want to do at the end of the day. No amount of "warnings" or "Oh but I love yous" are going to stop them.
  • Gemini: Words are more than just words when they are articulated with passion and emotion. Be careful how you use them.
  • Cancer: There is an extremely thin line between a "joke" and blatant mocking and insulting. Sometimes, we cross it without even thinking, and that's simply unhealthy.
  • Leo: You should never apologize for dressing up, or spending money the way you want to, or being happy. If you're not hurting anyone, you should do as you wish.
  • Virgo: Some people just like to complain. It helps to take the edge off. So when they don't have anything to complain about, they might just pull something out of thin air.
  • Libra: As far as your first instincts about people go, you should trust them, at least a bit. Maybe she really is fishy, or maybe he can be a real douche. Just keep it in the back of your mind.
  • Scorpio: Just because someone can hold an intelligent conversation, talk with you all night, and make consistent, beautiful eye contact, doesn't mean they're hopelessly in love with you.
  • Sagittarius: There is still love in "tough love." While it can hurt, it does not create the absence of caring, nor should it.
  • Capricorn: It's okay to look up to others. Sometimes, through admiring another person's qualities, we can learn more about where it is we would like to someday be.
  • Aquarius: Although many people do not change, a change is possible. Sometimes it's just waiting for the right moment to develop.
  • Pisces: Don't confuse an emotional, sensitive person for a good friend or a good lover. Someone can be totally self-pitying and not care one bit how you feel.
Something About a Feeling

This is it. My blood, sweat, and tears. It’s been a long time coming with this one, so I want to thank @trulymadlysydney and @outofworkactress for giving me the words I need to hear so I can finally release this into the world. I feel like a mother on their child’s first day of school. It’s a bittersweet feeling. 

In the words of @permanentcross, this is my favorite sandbox to mess with, and the more I try to explain it, the worse it turns out, but simply stated, Harry is infatuated with a girl who would never want him.

I’ve edited this a thousand times, and it’s still not perfect, but if I don’t let this little bird fly away now, it never will. So, please be kind. I’m trying my hardest. x

The first time he sees you, a mere glance from across the room, he has to remind himself he has a girlfriend. A lovely woman, she was, like most of the female counterparts he took in his life, but like most woman he chose to spend his time with, they all had one thing in common. Temporary. He knew he was growing closer to the end with this one; Hannah, a friend of a friend who was easy on the eyes, laughed at his sore attempts at jokes, and quite simply, knew she herself was as temporary as a toothbrush. They’d keep each other company for the time being and a couple of months down the road, they’d part ways, and the rest would be history. Simple as that.

But the first time he sees you, cuddled a little too close to his best mate, peering down at his phone as a small giggle escaped your parted lips, he stops dead in his tracks and backtracks. You were a catch.

Niall had his arm swung behind you, resting carelessly along the wooden seats, and Harry almost digs at himself as he resorts back to their conversation the night before wondering if he had missed the part in text where Niall stated he’d be bringing a female guest of interest. He doesn’t remember anything of the sort, but it doesn’t go unnoticed when he hands his beer out to you, and you instantly wince when the dark lager meets your lips.

Looks like he was playing third wheel tonight.

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Fall For You || Jeon Jungkook

Originally posted by theking-or-thekid

Word Count: 1.7k

Genre: Fluff


The library was a place you were supposed to be able to go to to study, and usually it was. There was something about sitting by yourself that let you study easier and focus better. Silence filled the library most days and you never had to worry about someone coming and bugging you over something that would be considered a waste of time. That was until you met Jeon Jungkook.

At first he was another one of the bad boys on campus, a title you thought would drop when entering college but somehow persisted for him. He wore it proudly on his chest like the words of others defined who he was without a problem. It was something you had never liked before, but it was different with him. The only reason he had started talking to you in the first place though, was because he had started to crush on your best friend.

The library was a place where you were able to study and learn without anyone bothering you, but it seemed now that Jungkook had started crushing on your best friend, he had recruited you into helping him get her to fall for him. It was like no matter where you ran away to he would always find you and follow you around until you helped him with what he needed.

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Characteristics of Narcissistic Mothers

** I decided to just post this directly on the blog because I believe every person who has an abusive mother should read this.

1. Everything she does is deniable.

There is always a facile excuse or an explanation. Cruelties are couched in loving terms. Aggressive and hostile acts are paraded as thoughtfulness. Selfish manipulations are presented as gifts. Criticism and slander is slyly disguised as concern. She only wants what is best for you. She only wants to help you.

She rarely says right out that she thinks you’re inadequate. Instead, any time that you tell her you’ve done something good, she counters with something your sibling did that was better or she simply ignores you or she hears you out without saying anything, then in a short time does something cruel to you so you understand not to get above yourself. She will carefully separate cause (your joy in your accomplishment) from effect (refusing to let you borrow the car to go to the awards ceremony) by enough time that someone who didn’t live through her abuse would never believe the connection.

Many of her putdowns are simply by comparison. She’ll talk about how wonderful someone else is or what a wonderful job they did on something you’ve also done or how highly she thinks of them. The contrast is left up to you. She has let you know that you’re no good without saying a word. She’ll spoil your pleasure in something by simply congratulating you for it in an angry, envious voice that conveys how unhappy she is, again, completely deniably. It is impossible to confront someone over their tone of voice, their demeanor or the way they look at you, but once your narcissistic mother has you trained, she can promise terrible punishment without a word. As a result, you’re always afraid, always in the wrong, and can never exactly put your finger on why.

Because her abusiveness is part of a lifelong campaign of control and because she is careful to rationalize her abuse, it is extremely difficult to explain to other people what is so bad about her. She’s also careful about when and how she engages in her abuses. She’s very secretive, a characteristic of almost all abusers (“Don’t wash our dirty laundry in public!”) and will punish you for telling anyone else what she’s done. The times and locations of her worst abuses are carefully chosen so that no one who might intervene will hear or see her bad behavior, and she will seem like a completely different person in public. She’ll slam you to other people, but will always embed her devaluing nuggets of snide gossip in protestations of concern, love and understanding (“I feel so sorry for poor Cynthia. She always seems to have such a hard time, but I just don’t know what I can do for her!”) As a consequence the children of narcissists universally report that no one believes them (“I have to tell you that she always talks about YOU in the most caring way!). Unfortunately therapists, given the deniable actions of the narcissist and eager to defend a fellow parent, will often jump to the narcissist’s defense as well, reinforcing your sense of isolation and helplessness ("I’m sure she didn’t mean it like that!”)


2. She violates your boundaries.

You feel like an extension of her. Your property is given away without your consent, sometimes in front of you. Your food is eaten off your plate or given to others off your plate. Your property may be repossessed and no reason given other than that it was never yours. Your time is committed without consulting you, and opinions purported to be yours are expressed for you. (She LOVES going to the fair! He would never want anything like that. She wouldn’t like kumquats.) You are discussed in your presence as though you are not there. She keeps tabs on your bodily functions and humiliates you by divulging the information she gleans, especially when it can be used to demonstrate her devotion and highlight her martyrdom to your needs (“Mike had that problem with frequent urination too, only his was much worse. I was so worried about him!”) You have never known what it is like to have privacy in the bathroom or in your bedroom, and she goes through your things regularly. She asks nosy questions, snoops into your email/letters/diary/conversations. She will want to dig into your feelings, particularly painful ones and is always looking for negative information on you which can be used against you. She does things against your expressed wishes frequently. All of this is done without seeming embarrassment or thought.

Any attempt at autonomy on your part is strongly resisted. Normal rites of passage (learning to shave, wearing makeup, dating) are grudgingly allowed only if you insist, and you’re punished for your insistence (“Since you’re old enough to date, I think you’re old enough to pay for your own clothes!”) If you demand age-appropriate clothing, grooming, control over your own life, or rights, you are difficult and she ridicules your “independence.”


3. She favoritizes.

Narcissistic mothers commonly choose one (sometimes more) child to be the golden child and one (sometimes more) to be the scapegoat. The narcissist identifies with the golden child and provides privileges to him or her as long as the golden child does just as she wants. The golden child has to be cared for assiduously by everyone in the family. The scapegoat has no needs and instead gets to do the caring. The golden child can do nothing wrong. The scapegoat is always at fault. This creates divisions between the children, one of whom has a large investment in the mother being wise and wonderful, and the other(s) who hate her. That division will be fostered by the narcissist with lies and with blatantly unfair and favoritizing behavior. The golden child will defend the mother and indirectly perpetuate the abuse by finding reasons to blame the scapegoat for the mother’s actions. The golden child may also directly take on the narcissistic mother’s tasks by physically abusing the scapegoat so the narcissistic mother doesn’t have to do that herself.


4. She undermines.

Your accomplishments are acknowledged only to the extent that she can take credit for them. Any success or accomplishment for which she cannot take credit is ignored or diminished. Any time you are to be center stage and there is no opportunity for her to be the center of attention, she will try to prevent the occasion altogether, or she doesn’t come, or she leaves early, or she acts like it’s no big deal, or she steals the spotlight or she slips in little wounding comments about how much better someone else did or how what you did wasn’t as much as you could have done or as you think it is. She undermines you by picking fights with you or being especially unpleasant just before you have to make a major effort. She acts put out if she has to do anything to support your opportunities or will outright refuse to do even small things in support of you. She will be nasty to you about things that are peripherally connected with your successes so that you find your joy in what you’ve done is tarnished, without her ever saying anything directly about it. No matter what your success, she has to take you down a peg about it.


5. She demeans, criticizes and denigrates.

She lets you know in all sorts of little ways that she thinks less of you than she does of your siblings or of other people in general. If you complain about mistreatment by someone else, she will take that person’s side even if she doesn’t know them at all. She doesn’t care about those people or the justice of your complaints. She just wants to let you know that you’re never right.

She will deliver generalized barbs that are almost impossible to rebut (always in a loving, caring tone): “You were always difficult” “You can be very difficult to love” “You never seemed to be able to finish anything” “You were very hard to live with” “You’re always causing trouble” “No one could put up with the things you do.” She will deliver slams in a sidelong way - for example she’ll complain about how “no one” loves her, does anything for her, or cares about her, or she’ll complain that “everyone” is so selfish, when you’re the only person in the room. As always, this combines criticism with deniability.

She will slip little comments into conversation that she really enjoyed something she did with someone else - something she did with you too, but didn’t like as much. She’ll let you know that her relationship with some other person you both know is wonderful in a way your relationship with her isn’t - the carefully unspoken message being that you don’t matter much to her.

She minimizes, discounts or ignores your opinions and experiences. Your insights are met with condescension, denials and accusations (“I think you read too much!”) and she will brush off your information even on subjects on which you are an acknowledged expert. Whatever you say is met with smirks and amused sounding or exaggerated exclamations (“Uh hunh!” “You don’t say!” “Really!”). She’ll then make it clear that she didn’t listen to a word you said.


6. She makes you look crazy.

If you try to confront her about something she’s done, she’ll tell you that you have “a very vivid imagination” (this is a phrase commonly used by abusers of all sorts to invalidate your experience of their abuse) that you don’t know what you’re talking about, or that she has no idea what you’re talking about. She will claim not to remember even very memorable events, flatly denying they ever happened, nor will she ever acknowledge any possibility that she might have forgotten. This is an extremely aggressive and exceptionally infuriating tactic called “gaslighting,” common to abusers of all kinds. Your perceptions of reality are continually undermined so that you end up without any confidence in your intuition, your memory or your powers of reasoning. This makes you a much better victim for the abuser.

Narcissists gaslight routinely. The narcissist will either insinuate or will tell you outright that you’re unstable, otherwise you wouldn’t believe such ridiculous things or be so uncooperative. You’re oversensitive. You’re imagining things. You’re hysterical. You’re completely unreasonable. You’re over-reacting, like you always do. She’ll talk to you when you’ve calmed down and aren’t so irrational. She may even characterize you as being neurotic or psychotic.

Once she’s constructed these fantasies of your emotional pathologies, she’ll tell others about them, as always, presenting her smears as expressions of concern and declaring her own helpless victimhood. She didn’t do anything. She has no idea why you’re so irrationally angry with her. You’ve hurt her terribly. She thinks you may need psychotherapy. She loves you very much and would do anything to make you happy, but she just doesn’t know what to do. You keep pushing her away when all she wants to do is help you.

She has simultaneously absolved herself of any responsibility for your obvious antipathy towards her, implied that it’s something fundamentally wrong with you that makes you angry with her, and undermined your credibility with her listeners. She plays the role of the doting mother so perfectly that no one will believe you.


7. She’s envious.

Any time you get something nice she’s angry and envious and her envy will be apparent when she admires whatever it is. She’ll try to get it from you, spoil it for you, or get the same or better for herself. She’s always working on ways to get what other people have. The envy of narcissistic mothers often includes competing sexually with their daughters or daughters-in-law. They’ll attempt to forbid their daughters to wear makeup, to groom themselves in an age-appropriate way or to date. They will criticize the appearance of their daughters and daughters-in-law. This envy extends to relationships. Narcissistic mothers infamously attempt to damage their children’s marriages and interfere in the upbringing of their grandchildren.


8. She’s a liar in too many ways to count.

Any time she talks about something that has emotional significance for her, it’s a fair bet that she’s lying. Lying is one way that she creates conflict in the relationships and lives of those around her - she’ll lie to them about what other people have said, what they’ve done, or how they feel. She’ll lie about her relationship with them, about your behavior or about your situation in order to inflate herself and to undermine your credibility.

The narcissist is very careful about how she lies. To outsiders she’ll lie thoughtfully and deliberately, always in a way that can be covered up if she’s confronted with her lie. She spins what you said rather than makes something up wholesale. She puts dishonest interpretations on things you actually did. If she’s recently done something particularly egregious she may engage in preventative lying: she lies in advance to discount what you might say before you even say it. Then when you talk about what she did you’ll be cut off with “I already know all about it…your mother told me… (self-justifications and lies).” Because she is so careful about her deniability, it may be very hard to catch her in her lies and the more gullible of her friends may never realize how dishonest she is.

To you, she’ll lie blatantly. She will claim to be unable to remember bad things she has done, even if she did one of them recently and even if it was something very memorable. Of course, if you try to jog her memory by recounting the circumstances “You have a very vivid imagination” or “That was so long ago. Why do you have to dredge up your old grudges?” Your conversations with her are full of casual brush-offs and diversionary lies and she doesn’t respect you enough to bother making it sound good. For example she’ll start with a self-serving lie: “If I don’t take you as a dependent on my taxes I’ll lose three thousand dollars!” You refute her lie with an obvious truth: “No, three thousand dollars is the amount of the dependent exemption. You’ll only lose about eight hundred dollars.” Her response: “Isn’t that what I said?” You are now in a game with only one rule: You can’t win.

On the rare occasions she is forced to acknowledge some bad behavior, she will couch the admission deniably. She “guesses” that “maybe” she “might have” done something wrong. The wrongdoing is always heavily spun and trimmed to make it sound better. The words “I guess,” “maybe,” and “might have” are in and of themselves lies because she knows exactly what she did - no guessing, no might haves, no maybes.


9. She has to be the center of attention all the time.

This need is a defining trait of narcissists and particularly of narcissistic mothers for whom their children exist to be sources of attention and adoration. Narcissistic mothers love to be waited on and often pepper their children with little requests. “While you’re up…” or its equivalent is one of their favorite phrases. You couldn’t just be assigned a chore at the beginning of the week or of the day, instead, you had to do it on demand, preferably at a time that was inconvenient for you, or you had to “help” her do it, fetching and carrying for her while she made up to herself for the menial work she had to do as your mother by glorying in your attentions.

A narcissistic mother may create odd occasions at which she can be the center of attention, such as memorials for someone close to her who died long ago, or major celebrations of small personal milestones. She may love to entertain so she can be the life of her own party. She will try to steal the spotlight or will try to spoil any occasion where someone else is the center of attention, particularly the child she has cast as the scapegoat. She often invites herself along where she isn’t welcome. If she visits you or you visit her, you are required to spend all your time with her. Entertaining herself is unthinkable. She has always pouted, manipulated or raged if you tried to do anything without her, didn’t want to entertain her, refused to wait on her, stymied her plans for a drama or otherwise deprived her of attention.

Older narcissistic mothers often use the natural limitations of aging to manipulate dramas, often by neglecting their health or by doing things they know will make them ill. This gives them the opportunity to cash in on the investment they made when they trained you to wait on them as a child. Then they call you (or better still, get the neighbor or the nursing home administrator to call you) demanding your immediate attendance. You are to rush to her side, pat her hand, weep over her pain and listen sympathetically to her unending complaints about how hard and awful it is. (“Never get old!”) It’s almost never the case that you can actually do anything useful, and the causes of her disability may have been completely avoidable, but you’ve been put in an extremely difficult position. If you don’t provide the audience and attention she’s manipulating to get, you look extremely bad to everyone else and may even have legal culpability. (Narcissistic behaviors commonly accompany Alzheimer’s disease, so this behavior may also occur in perfectly normal mothers as they age.)


10. She manipulates your emotions in order to feed on your pain.

This exceptionally sick and bizarre behavior is so common among narcissistic mothers that their children often call them “emotional vampires.” Some of this emotional feeding comes in the form of pure sadism. She does and says things just to be wounding or she engages in tormenting teasing or she needles you about things you’re sensitive about, all the while a smile plays over her lips. She may have taken you to scary movies or told you horrifying stories, then mocked you for being a baby when you cried; she will slip a wounding comment into conversation and smile delightedly into your hurt face. You can hear the laughter in her voice as she pressures you or says distressing things to you. Later she’ll gloat over how much she upset you, gaily telling other people that you’re so much fun to tease, and recruiting others to share in her amusement. . She enjoys her cruelties and makes no effort to disguise that. She wants you to know that your pain entertains her. She may bring up subjects that are painful for you and probe you about them, all the while watching you carefully. This is emotional vampirism in its purest form. She’s feeding emotionally off your pain.

A peculiar form of this emotional vampirism combines attention-seeking behavior with a demand that the audience suffer. Since narcissistic mothers often play the martyr this may take the form of wrenching, self-pitying dramas which she carefully produces, and in which she is the star performer. She sobs and wails that no one loves her and everyone is so selfish, and she doesn’t want to live, she wants to die! She wants to die! She will not seem to care how much the manipulation of their emotions and the self-pity repels other people. One weird behavior that is very common to narcissists: her dramas may also center around the tragedies of other people, often relating how much she suffered by association and trying to distress her listeners, as she cries over the horrible murder of someone she wouldn’t recognize if they had passed her on the street.


11. She’s selfish and willful.

She always makes sure she has the best of everything. She insists on having her own way all the time and she will ruthlessly, manipulatively pursue it, even if what she wants isn’t worth all the effort she’s putting into it and even if that effort goes far beyond normal behavior. She will make a huge effort to get something you denied her, even if it was entirely your right to do so and even if her demand was selfish and unreasonable. If you tell her she cannot bring her friends to your party she will show up with them anyway, and she will have told them that they were invited so that you either have to give in, or be the bad guy to these poor dupes on your doorstep. If you tell her she can’t come over to your house tonight she’ll call your spouse and try get him or her to agree that she can, and to not say anything to you about it because it’s a “surprise.” She has to show you that you can’t tell her “no.”

One near-universal characteristic of narcissists: because they are so selfish and self-centered, they are very bad gift givers. They’ll give you hand-me-downs or market things for themselves as gifts for you (“I thought I’d give you my old bicycle and buy myself a new one!” “I know how much you love Italian food, so I’m going to take you to my favorite restaurant for your birthday!”) New gifts are often obviously cheap and are usually things that don’t suit you or that you can’t use or are a quid pro quo: if you buy her the gift she wants, she will buy you an item of your choice. She’ll make it clear that it pains her to give you anything. She may buy you a gift and get the identical item for herself, or take you shopping for a gift and get herself something nice at the same time to make herself feel better.


12. She’s self-absorbed.

Her feelings, needs and wants are very important; yours are insignificant to the point that her least whim takes precedence over your most basic needs. Her problems deserve your immediate and full attention; yours are brushed aside. Her wishes always take precedence; if she does something for you, she reminds you constantly of her munificence in doing so and will often try to extract some sort of payment. She will complain constantly, even though your situation may be much worse than hers. If you point that out, she will effortlessly, thoughtlessly brush it aside as of no importance (It’s easy for you… / It’s different for you…).


13. She is insanely defensive and is extremely sensitive to any criticism.

If you criticize her or defy her she will explode with fury, threaten, storm, rage, destroy and may become violent, beating, confining, putting her child outdoors in bad weather or otherwise engaging in classic physical abuse.


14. She terrorizes.

For all abusers, fear is a powerful means of control of the victim, and your narcissistic mother used it ruthlessly to train you. Narcissists teach you to beware their wrath even when they aren’t present. The only alternative is constant placation. If you give her everything she wants all the time, you might be spared. If you don’t, the punishments will come. Even adult children of narcissists still feel that carefully inculcated fear. Your narcissistic mother can turn it on with a silence or a look that tells the child in you she’s thinking about how she’s going to get even.

Not all narcissists abuse physically, but most do, often in subtle, deniable ways. It allows them to vent their rage at your failure to be the solution to their internal havoc and simultaneously to teach you to fear them. You may not have been beaten, but you were almost certainly left to endure physical pain when a normal mother would have made an effort to relieve your misery. This deniable form of battery allows her to store up her rage and dole out the punishment at a later time when she’s worked out an airtight rationale for her abuse, so she never risks exposure. You were left hungry because “you eat too much.” (Someone asked her if she was pregnant. She isn’t). You always went to school with stomach flu because “you don’t have a fever. You’re just trying to get out of school.” (She resents having to take care of you. You have a lot of nerve getting sick and adding to her burdens.) She refuses to look at your bloody heels and instead the shoes that wore those blisters on your heels are put back on your feet and you’re sent to the store in them because “You wanted those shoes. Now you can wear them.” (You said the ones she wanted to get you were ugly. She liked them because they were just like what she wore 30 years ago). The dentist was told not to give you Novocain when he drilled your tooth because “he has to learn to take better care of his teeth.” (She has to pay for a filling and she’s furious at having to spend money on you.)

Narcissistic mothers also abuse by loosing others on you or by failing to protect you when a normal mother would have. Sometimes the narcissist’s golden child will be encouraged to abuse the scapegoat. Narcissists also abuse by exposing you to violence. If one of your siblings got beaten, she made sure you saw. She effortlessly put the fear of Mom into you, without raising a hand.


15. She’s infantile and petty.

Narcissistic mothers are often simply childish. If you refuse to let her manipulate you into doing something, she will cry that you don’t love her because if you loved her you would do as she wanted. If you hurt her feelings she will aggressively whine to you that you’ll be sorry when she’s dead that you didn’t treat her better. These babyish complaints and responses may sound laughable, but the narcissist is dead serious about them. When you were a child, if you ask her to stop some bad behavior, she would justify it by pointing out something that you did that she feels is comparable, as though the childish behavior of a child is justification for the childish behavior of an adult. “Getting even” is a large part of her dealings with you. Anytime you fail to give her the deference, attention or service she feels she deserves, or you thwart her wishes, she has to show you.


16. She’s aggressive and shameless.

She doesn’t ask. She demands. She makes outrageous requests and she’ll take anything she wants if she thinks she can get away with it. Her demands of her children are posed in a very aggressive way, as are her criticisms. She won’t take no for an answer, pushing and arm-twisting and manipulating to get you to give in.


17. She “parentifies.”

She shed her responsibilities to you as soon as she was able, leaving you to take care of yourself as best you could. She denied you medical care, adequate clothing, necessary transportation or basic comforts that she would never have considered giving up for herself. She never gave you a birthday party or let you have sleepovers. Your friends were never welcome in her house. She didn’t like to drive you anywhere, so you turned down invitations because you had no way to get there. She wouldn’t buy your school pictures even if she could easily have afforded it. You had a niggardly clothing allowance or she bought you the cheapest clothing she could without embarrassing herself. As soon as you got a job, every request for school supplies, clothing or toiletries was met with “Now that you’re making money, why don’t you pay for that yourself?” You studied up on colleges on your own and choose a cheap one without visiting it. You signed yourself up for the SATs, earned the money to pay for them and talked someone into driving you to the test site. You worked three jobs to pay for that cheap college and when you finally got mononucleosis she chirped at you that she was “so happy you could take care of yourself.”

She also gave you tasks that were rightfully hers and should not have been placed on a child. You may have been a primary caregiver for young siblings or an incapacitated parent. You may have had responsibility for excessive household tasks. Above all, you were always her emotional caregiver which is one reason any defection from that role caused such enormous eruptions of rage. You were never allowed to be needy or have bad feelings or problems. Those experiences were only for her, and you were responsible for making it right for her. From the time you were very young she would randomly lash out at you any time she was stressed or angry with your father or felt that life was unfair to her, because it made her feel better to hurt you. You were often punished out of the blue, for manufactured offenses. As you got older she directly placed responsibility for her welfare and her emotions on you, weeping on your shoulder and unloading on you any time something went awry for her.


18. She’s exploitative.

She will manipulate to get work, money, or objects she envies out of other people for nothing. This includes her children, of course. If she set up a bank account for you, she was trustee on the account with the right to withdraw money. As you put money into it, she took it out. She may have stolen your identity. She took you as a dependent on her income taxes so you couldn’t file independently without exposing her to criminal penalties. If she made an agreement with you, it was violated the minute it no longer served her needs. If you brought it up demanding she adhere to the agreement, she brushed you off and later punished you so you would know not to defy her again.

Sometimes the narcissist will exploit a child to absorb punishment that would have been hers from an abusive partner. The husband comes home in a drunken rage, and the mother immediately complains about the child’s bad behavior so the rage is vented on to the child. Sometimes the narcissistic mother simply uses the child to keep a sick marriage intact because the alternative is being divorced or having to go to work. The child is sexually molested but the mother never notices, or worse, calls the child a liar when she tells the mother about the molestation.


19. She projects.

This sounds a little like psycho-babble, but it is something that narcissists all do. Projection means that she will put her own bad behavior, character and traits on you so she can deny them in herself and punish you. This can be very difficult to see if you have traits that she can project on to. An eating-disordered woman who obsesses over her daughter’s weight is projecting. The daughter may not realize it because she has probably internalized an absurdly thin vision of women’s weight and so accepts her mother’s projection. When the narcissist tells the daughter that she eats too much, needs to exercise more, or has to wear extra-large size clothes, the daughter believes it, even if it isn’t true. However, she will sometimes project even though it makes no sense at all. This happens when she feels shamed and needs to put it on her scapegoat child and the projection therefore comes across as being an attack out of the blue. For example: She makes an outrageous request, and you casually refuse to let her have her way. She’s enraged by your refusal and snarls at you that you’ll talk about it when you’ve calmed down and are no longer hysterical.

You aren’t hysterical at all; she is, but your refusal has made her feel the shame that should have stopped her from making shameless demands in the first place. That’s intolerable. She can transfer that shame to you and rationalize away your response: you only refused her because you’re so unreasonable. Having done that she can reassert her shamelessness and indulge her childish willfulness by turning an unequivocal refusal into a subject for further discussion. You’ll talk about it again “later” - probably when she’s worn you down with histrionics, pouting and the silent treatment so you’re more inclined to do what she wants.


20. She is never wrong about anything.

No matter what she’s done, she won’t ever genuinely apologize for anything. Instead, any time she feels she is being made to apologize she will sulk and pout, issue an insulting apology or negate the apology she has just made with justifications, qualifications or self pity: “I’m sorry you felt that I humiliated you” “I’m sorry if I made you feel bad” “If I did that it was wrong” “I’m sorry, but I there’s nothing I can do about it” “I’m sorry I made you feel clumsy, stupid and disgusting” “I’m sorry but it was just a joke. You’re so over-sensitive” “I’m sorry that my own child feels she has to upset me and make me feel bad.” The last insulting apology is also an example of projection.


21. She seems to have no awareness that other people even have feelings.

She’ll occasionally slip and say something jaw-droppingly callous because of this lack of empathy. It isn’t that she doesn’t care at all about other people’s feelings, though she doesn’t. It would simply never occur to her to think about their feelings. An absence of empathy is the defining trait of a narcissist and underlies most of the other traits I have described. Unlike psychopaths, narcissists do understand right, wrong, and consequences, so they are not ordinarily criminal. She beat you, but not to the point where you went to the hospital. She left you standing out in the cold until you were miserable, but not until you had hypothermia. She put you in the basement in the dark with no clothes on, but she only left you there for two hours.


22. She blames.

She’ll blame you for everything that isn’t right in her life or for what other people do or for whatever has happened. Always, she’ll blame you for her abuse. You made her do it. If only you weren’t so difficult. You upset her so much that she can’t think straight. Things were hard for her and your backtalk pushed her over the brink. This blaming is often so subtle that all you know is that you thought you were wronged and now you feel guilty. Your brother beats you and her response is to bemoan how uncivilized children are. Your boyfriend dumped you, but she can understand - after all, she herself has seen how difficult you are to love. She’ll do something egregiously exploitative to you, and when confronted will screech at you that she can’t believe you were so selfish as to upset her over such a trivial thing. She’ll also blame you for your reaction to her selfish, cruel and exploitative behavior. She can’t believe you are so petty, so small, and so childish as to object to her giving your favorite dress to her friend. She thought you would be happy to let her do something nice for someone else.

Narcissists are masters of multitasking as this example shows. Simultaneously your narcissistic mother is
Lying. She knows what she did was wrong and she knows your reaction is reasonable.
Manipulating. She’s making you look like the bad guy for objecting to her cruelties.
Being selfish. She doesn’t mind making you feel horrible as long as she gets her own way.
Blaming. She did something wrong, but it’s all your fault.
Projecting. Her petty, small and childish behavior has become yours.
Putting on a self-pitying drama. She’s a martyr who believed the best of you, and you’ve let her down.
Parentifying. You’re responsible for her feelings, she has no responsibility for yours.


23. She destroys your relationships.

Narcissistic mothers are like tornadoes: wherever they touch down families are torn apart and wounds are inflicted. Unless the father has control over the narcissist and holds the family together, adult siblings in families with narcissistic mothers characteristically have painful relationships. Typically all communication between siblings is superficial and driven by duty, or they may never talk to each other at all. In part, these women foster dissension between their children because they enjoy the control it gives them. If those children don’t communicate except through the mother, she can decide what everyone hears. Narcissists also love the excitement and drama they create by interfering in their children’s lives. Watching people’s lives explode is better than soap operas, especially when you don’t have any empathy for their misery.

The narcissist nurtures anger, contempt and envy - the most corrosive emotions - to drive her children apart. While her children are still living at home, any child who stands up to the narcissist guarantees punishment for the rest. In her zest for revenge, the narcissist purposefully turns the siblings’ anger on the dissenter by including everyone in her retaliation. (“I can see that nobody here loves me! Well I’ll just take these Christmas presents back to the store. None of you would want anything I got you anyway!”) The other children, long trained by the narcissist to give in, are furious with the troublemaking child, instead of with the narcissist who actually deserves their anger.

The narcissist also uses favoritism and gossip to poison her childrens’ relationships. The scapegoat sees the mother as a creature of caprice and cruelty. As is typical of the privileged, the other children don’t see her unfairness and they excuse her abuses. Indeed, they are often recruited by the narcissist to adopt her contemptuous and entitled attitude towards the scapegoat and with her tacit or explicit permission, will inflict further abuse. The scapegoat predictably responds with fury and equal contempt. After her children move on with adult lives, the narcissist makes sure to keep each apprised of the doings of the others, passing on the most discreditable and juicy gossip (as always, disguised as “concern”) about the other children, again, in a way that engenders contempt rather than compassion.

Having been raised by a narcissist, her children are predisposed to be envious, and she takes full advantage of the opportunity that presents. While she may never praise you to your face, she will likely crow about your victories to the very sibling who is not doing well. She’ll tell you about the generosity she displayed towards that child, leaving you wondering why you got left out and irrationally angry at the favored child rather than at the narcissist who told you about it.

The end result is a family in which almost all communication is triangular. The narcissist, the spider in the middle of the family web, sensitively monitors all the children for information she can use to retain her unchallenged control over the family. She then passes that on to the others, creating the resentments that prevent them from communicating directly and freely with each other. The result is that the only communication between the children is through the narcissist, exactly the way she wants it.


24. As a last resort she goes pathetic.

When she’s confronted with unavoidable consequences for her own bad behavior, including your anger, she will melt into a soggy puddle of weepy helplessness. It’s all her fault. She can’t do anything right. She feels so bad. What she doesn’t do: own the responsibility for her bad conduct and make it right. Instead, as always, it’s all about her, and her helpless self-pitying weepiness dumps the responsibility for her consequences AND for her unhappiness about it on you. As so often with narcissists, it is also a manipulative behavior. If you fail to excuse her bad behavior and make her feel better, YOU are the bad person for being cold, heartless and unfeeling when your poor mother feels so awful.

i was lookin at @lovelylangst ’s page and all that langst made me think 

what if there was an exercise where the paladins have to find a fault within themselves??? anyways, i didn’t wanna write a whole fic so here we go with some langst drabble…..


Lance stares at Allura with an open mouth. “For this exercise you must think of and share one fault you have. You will discuss among yourselves.” They had to do what? The other’s must have seen his shock.

“What? Too much ego to even think of one?” Keith asks snidely. Lance frowns.

“Keith. While that was a bit harsh, he is right, Lance. It shouldn’t be too hard to find one. We all have problems.” Someone snorts and it takes Lance a second to realize it was Keith and not him. Shiro’s words stung, even if he didn’t mean them in a rude way.

“That-that’’s not what I was going to say at all.” Lance cuts in.

“Oh? Is the great Lance saying he actually has a fault?” Pidge asks sarcastically. Lance shoots them a glare.

“No.” That came out wrong. Now Allura is looking back at him, frustrated. 

“Lance it is normal to have flaws, just find something.” Lance’s patience is wearing thin. So thin it’s going to snap.

“NO! You guys don’t get it! I have too many to choose from! Which one do you want? My poor skills in hand to hand combat? My stupid and unnecessary jokes? My bad timing and luck? The fact that I’m just useless in general? You’re going to need to be more specific, Allura, or I won’t know what you mean.” Hot tears burn at his eyes, blurring his vision. He barely sees his teammates faces settle into shock and sadness.

 Someone is reaching out for his shoulder. A firm hand grips it, and Lance blinks away his tears to see Keith.

“I-I’m so sorry Lance, I-I didn’t mean it. I swear, I was just trying to joke around-I-I never meant it, really. You are so important Lance, I’m so sorry for making you feel that way.”  Lance gulps.

“Lance. Not all of that is true. You are not useless, you are our sharpshooter, you are irreplaceable. We could never think of you as anything less. You may joke a bit but your jokes help our team to calm down. It wouldn’t be the same without you.” Lance sniffles at Shiro’s words.

Hunk comes around beside him, silently wrapping him up in a tight hug. He feels Pidge join the hug after a few moments.

“I’m so sorry Lance. I’ve failed as your best friend. I don’t think I can even call myself that anymore.” Hunk sobs. 

I-I am so, so, so sorry.” Pidge says, hiding their face in his jacket. Slowly, the other start to join the hug, Allura and Coran last.

“My boy, I didn’t intend to hurt you this way. I am forever sorry.” Coran says, tears dripping down into his mustache.

“Lance, you are so very important to the team, and to us as people. I would never wish anyone else to take your place, as no one could fill it adequately.” Lance sobs, holding his space family closer. They stand there for what seems like forever, but no one is complaining, not even Keith. Noticing that, Lance pokes the red paladin.

“So you do care a bit, even an emo like you has some emotion.” Keith smiles and shakes his head.

“Of course I care, you idiot.” Lance is the happiest he’s been in ages, feeling the surrounding love and comfort of his team. 

It takes a while, and it’s never fully gone, but it gets better. Easier. The team only grows stronger, in spirit and power, and Lance is rightfully recognized as the heart of the team.