do it in the dirt

anonymous asked:

Can I do zens reaction to an mc who's pretty close to jumin? like maybe they knew each others before or maybe they just generally get along with each other? ((Zen and mc are in a relationship BTW)) thank you if you do!!

 ~Oh yeah, I’ve thought about this before! This is going to be long btw im sorry 


[Zen

  • At first, he hadn’t really noticed how close you were with Jumin
  • One day he came home and heard you on the phone with someone 
    • “Zen is home…yes, I better go as well. You too, bye!” 
  • Zen was super curious 
    • “Who was that?”
  • He tried to not be over-protective…
    • “Jumin,” you admitted calmly as you placed the phone on the counter 
  • Jumin…Han?
  • He felt a brief, sharp pain in his heart 
  • But why? 
  • He had no doubt in your faithfulness 
  • After all, what could that trust fund kid…dry as dirt ever do to one-up him when it came to you ???
  • Still…he felt his chest tighten a bit at the thought of you two talking 
  • You could see his slight wince and approached him without hesitation, running your hands gently along his shoulders and defined biceps 
    • “We have known each other for a long time…” you spoke quietly before placing a quick kiss on his lips. “He is a dear friend..nothing more.”
  • ‘Of course it was nothing more,’ Zen thought 
  • He felt the guilt wash over him 
  • You had thought he could ever believe you would be unfaithful to him 
  • Of course not…
  • He had full trust in you, he..
  • LOVED you 
  • It was just…why him? As a friend? 
  • It didn’t seem to fit 
  • If you needed someone to talk to…why didn’t you call him?
  • Sure, his schedule was demanding…but he would make time for you, no matter what 
  • If you ever needed…
  • He filled his lungs with air, releasing his deep breath through a smile 
    • “Jagiya,” he whispered, “I know.”
  • As much as he disliked Jumin’s opinions and personality, it was not worth fighting over with the person he loved 
  • In silence he remained 
  • However, he did not hesitate to make it known to Jumin, how much he loved you 
    • “I’m well aware of your relationship,” Jumin replied. 
    • “You know what I mean you jer-….Jumin. Just…” Zen choked a bit on his words in the moment. “She’s…she is the most important person to me,” he clenched his fist and spoke boldly through the receiver. 
    • “Again, I am well aware,” Jumin replied. “You two…you are an excellent match. I am very happy for you both.”
  • The sudden proclamation made Zen fall back a step or two 
  • Did he really just say that? 
    • “Thank you,” Zen finally spoke. “And I am glad she has a friend like you.”
  • As much as he might have hated to admit it, Jumin and you seemed to get along so well
    • “Would you both be interested in joining me for dinner one evening? A new restaurant opened in the area and it is supposed to be rather popular…” 
  • Zen thought for a moment 
  • It was nice of him to offer…
  • And it had been a while since he lived off of something other than your cooking or the disgusting food they brought on set for catering 
    • “ I guess we wouldn’t mind that…” Zen finally admitted 
    • “Great. I will have my assistant contact you with a time and date.”
  • Zen left the conversation feeling a bit shaky still 
  • He would have to make sure he saved up enough money to pay for your meals and drinks 
  • It wouldn’t be too much trouble for him, besides, you deserved to be treated to a nice meal you didn’t have to cook every once in a while 
  • When the day finally arrived, Zen could barely keep his hands off of you in your formal dress 
    • “Could we be even a bit late?” his lips traced the curve of your ear and he nipped lightly 
    • “Stop, you’re terrible,” you laughed and pulled yourself away from him and into the car 
  • Jumin stood when you both approached the table 
  • He let Zen pull your chair for you, after making a motion himself to do just that and realizing that it was not proper 
    • “Third glass of wine already?” you laughed at Jumin as he took a sip 
    • “You know me too well,” Jumin smiled 
  • Zen remained quiet at the table, watching you two interact as he grew increasingly self-conscious 
    • “What do you prefer to drink?” Jumin turned to Zen 
    • “I…doubt they would have it here,” Zen said nervously. “I normally drink beer not wine.”
    • “They have a wide variety of alcohols, actually. In fact, they provide many imported beers. If you don’t mind, I think I know something you would enjoy?”
  • Zen nodded hesitantly as Jumin ordered 
    • “Chardonnay for the lady and your finest import for the gentleman,” he handed the menu to the waitress. 
  • The conversation flowed smoothly from there on out 
    • “This is actually really good,” Zen boasted after taking a few sips 
    • “I’m glad you like it,” Jumin nodded and held his glass in the air for a cheers. “To the best of friendships,” he declared before the clink of glasses 
  • All three of you smiled and gulped 
  • Zen had so many questions 
  • How did you meet? How long have you known each other? Did you ever…hook up? 
  • You both were an open book 
    • “Goodness, no!!” you both laughed, “we have never been romantic. We just…understand each other. It’s hard to explain. But the thought of being more than friends has never even been on the table. We are here to vent to each other and talk about…well…personal things. Things friends confide in each other. Nothing more,” you smiled 
    • “Truthfully, I don’t know how you can handle this one,” Jumin laughed and gestured to you 
    • “Hey! I’m not that bad!”
    • “You’re lucky you found someone like him to be there for you,” he smiled and looked to Zen
  • This made Zen fill with happiness and pride 
  • Towards the end of the evening all three of you were laughing and swapping stories 
  • Drinking and clinking glasses to each other at every refill 
  • The check came and Zen reached for it automatically 
    • “Let me take care of this,” Jumin snatched it from the table with lightening speed 
    • “No way! I can take care of it,” Zen reached once more only to have it removed from his grasp once again 
  • Jumin sighed 
    • “I have no doubt you could, however, I am the one that invited you both. It is only proper. If it means that much to you, I will allow you to pay next time,” Jumin compromised 
  • Zen nodded, taking him up on the offer
  • When it was finally time to head home you each said your goodbyes 
  • Jumin gave you a swift hug, and shook Zen’s hand firmly before patting each others backs 
  • On the ride home he loved the way you nuzzled into his chest, your cheeks red and warm with the buzz of alcohol he knew would be flowing through you 
    • “This was a nice night,” you smiled warmly 
  • Zen’s fingers traced your own hand, his free one running through your hair as you lay on him 
    • “It was,” he smiled. 
  • He never thought that an evening involving Jumin Han would be so pleasant, but it really was 
  • And Zen would do anything for you 
  • He actually looked forward to another night when you all could get together 
  • Maybe at another restaurant? But which one? Or his place…well…Your place? He loved your cooking…surely Jumin would, too 
  • Before he lost himself in thought he placed a soft and gentle kiss on your forehead 
  • The streetlights flashed across your face as you made your way down the road, and all Zen could think about in this moment was how lucky he was 
[#84] chan → 100 ways to say i love you

Originally posted by jeonwuu

✿ 84:『 “the key is under the mat.” 』 

✿ pairing: lee chan x reader insert 

✿ genre: angst, fluff, post apocalyptic!au

✿ word count: 3,920

✿ notes: wowie!! i didn’t expect this to get so long but i rlly liked this req!!! im lowkey thinking abt… continuing it?? & making a fic maybe?? what do u think?? :oo

 ✧・゚: *✧・゚:* 

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anonymous asked:

ooh, how about nonbinary leo valdez please if you still do pjo!! also @ that shitty transphobic anon: eat dirt, dunkass

i dont think ive Actually drawn leo since the trans pjo zine … i made their hair a bit bigger here~ because drawing big hair is fun - and what better guinea pig than leo valdez? (thank you so much for the request! <3 and the support)

  • rey: so this is ur depression planet
  • luke: yeah
  • rey: how do you not starve to death
  • luke: i eat dirt
  • rey: cool
  • luke: cool
  • rey: have u ever had sand
  • luke: YES
Every OJST Comic
  • Erika Moen, buried neck deep in the ground: Hey, guys. Today we have a special guest comic from the guy who lives in the sewage pipe behind my house. Hopefully this one doesn't get too FILTHY for you.
  • Some Guy: Gee, it sure is boring around here.
  • Dirt Monger: *poofs out of nowhere*
  • Some Guy: Who are you!!!????
  • Dirt Monger: I'm the dirt monger and I love eating dirt for sexual pleasure.
  • Some Guy: You mean shoveling tons of dirt into your mouth!!!!!?????????????????
  • Dirt Monger: Yes, it's a completely valid normal way of exploring your kinky identity.
  • Some Guy: But, isn't eating dirt SUPER UNHEALTHY.
  • Dirt Monger: Not at all if you follow SAFE DIRT PROTOCOLS. Always make sure to wear dental dam while consuming dirt sexually and to never actually swallow dirt because you don't want that shit in your stomach. Set up code phrases with your partner like "More Dirt" and "Not Enough Dirt" if you don't think you're getting your fair share of dirt shoveled directly into your stupid fucking face.
  • Some Guy: Wow, I'm so turned on right now.
  • Dirt Monger: That's the spirit. Consuming dirt like a human backhoe is a great way to bond with your partner and discover more about yourself as well.
  • Some Guy: I can't wait to eat dirt like the disgusting troglodyte that I am. Actually, can we mud too?
  • Dirt Monger: No, you dumbass! Dirt and mud are completely unrelated things! I'm the dirt monger, not the mud monger! Do you think I'm stupid?
  • Some Guy: Jeez, sorry I asked.
  • Dirt Monger: Hahaha! One more thing, eating dirt has a direct connection to several radical far-right subcultures. Googling dirt eating may take you down a dark path. I just want everyone to know that they do not represent the whole of the dirt eating community. You can practice the sexual consumption of dirt without turning into a nazi. We completely and entirely disavow fascist dirt eaters. THANKS FOR READING.

Me, Doing College Theatre: “Why do we keep doing all these Weird as Shit™ shows? Wouldn’t we get more butts in seats if we did musicals?”

Me, now, doing Butts-in-Seats-Musicals: “Hokay, please direct me towards the Weird Shit. I would like one Weird Shit Play, please.”

i cant wait for dnp to get married and make a golden future for themselves just… lying in bed wrapped in soft blankets and love warmer than anything listening to quiet music and watching the clouds move by their window bc they have to be floating at this point..

How the Signs Fight Physically !!! (SUN, MOON, MARS)
  • Aries: surprisingly, they won't fuck with you until you really mess up and then THEY THROW THE FUCK DOWN. You will be in a hospital and your face will look different when they r done w u
  • Taurus: super chill but you know what they say, u mess w the bull u get the horns. They r very shove-y and r not above head-butting to get the upper hand. Secretly kinda scrappy.
  • Gemini: talks shit but avoid fighting actually like w fists. They don't like actually fighting. It makes them uncomfortable. They would rather call u a shit head and move on w life.
  • Cancer: challenges you, gets mad when they don't win and brings up something else they r good at and will avoid eye contact and talking to u, will probably have a fall out so they really never have to talk to u again.
  • Leo: won't stop until they win. Losing will tarnish their meticulously curated reputation. They will win or die trying. Prone to walking thru other people fighting, completely oblivious. Antagonizes until someone else throws the first punch.
  • Virgo: avoids fights. Likes to mediate and get in the middle of two people fighting(danGER MUCH????) known to snap for no reason and rage throw some fine China and scream, kinda scary but they calm quickly.
  • Libra: does NOT fight. Day dreams about it. Frequently. If they actually tell someone they will fuck them up, those people mind themselves. Gets in middle of fights like Virgo but usually they don't mean to.
  • Scorpio: they probably bring a knife to a fist fight. Don't mess.
  • Sagittarius: fights for fun or no real reason. Rarely fights for self defense, instead preferring to talk the situation out.
  • Capricorn: level headed discussion as a chance to forgive and save yourself before u end up eating dirt. Looks like they can do a lot more than they actually will do.
  • Aquarius: definitely knows karate but it will literally never come to that because they avoid conflict and when someone says they know karate ur just like ????????
  • Pisces: if they r mad enough to physically fight u, it's going DOWN. Yells obscenities as they angry-cry and throw hands. Or they just do one really hard hit and end it before it begins, or put the person in a headlock until they calm down. Like Leo, they will walk thru fights unaware.
Dirt

Originally posted by shawnlaveau

When hoodoo was created, most of the people using it did not have ready access to the best ingredients and often had to hide their practice. Consequently, a lot of what was used had to be things people could obtain. This is why hoodoo uses various roots, sticks, herbs, honey, sugar, and other household supplies readily available. There is no exception for dirt. Different kind of dirt is used for different kind of things but some examples include:

Dirt from the crossroads: used for many things including hexing/cursing, summoning certain spirits, opening roads, etc.

Dirt from a bank: Most commonly used in money work. I swear by bank dirt. It adds so much potency to money workings and every time I have used it I have gotten great results. Could also be used in works to get a loan, get approved for a house, relieve debt, etc.

Dirt from a church: This is usually used for works that have to do with cleansing, healing, or otherwise “holy” matters.

Graveyard dirt: A staple in hoodoo, used for many different things including curses, healing, ancestor work, goofer dust, hot foot powder, etc.

Some of these are examples of things that have been used traditionally and throughout hoodoo’s history. However, all types of folk magick utilize whatever you have.

I have in the past used dirt from a car dealership(to obtain a car), dirt from a red ant farm(defensive/hexing), dirt from a destroyed/abandoned building(defensive/hexing), and dirt from a specific apartment complex I wanted to live in. *not all of these are my ideas, but some of them are* 

Folk Magick is and was about using whatever you have around you, and often whatever cost less. Do not ever feel like you can’t do effective, life changing magick with twigs and leaves. You can. Our ancestors did, you can too.

  • Tracer: Yeah, you REALLY need to step up your hostage-taking skills.
  • Widowmaker: Stop lecturing me or I will SHOOT YOU, and feed you to Reaper.
  • Tracer: Does he eat people?
  • Widowmaker & Tracer: *turn*
  • Reaper: *staring at a dead body*
  • Widowmaker: Do you really want to find out?
  • Tracer: No. …Maybe.
  • Submitted by dirt-luvs-turts
Jumps, Explained

So, going by the tags on my recent jump gifsets, the difference between jumps is apparently still a source of great bewilderment for some people. Now I could link you to some excellent posts on the topic, but since I am, as usual, an extra lil piece of dirt with too much work to do and a lifetime’s worth of procrastination, I’ve decided to put together my own layman’s guide to identifying figure skating jumps (stressed on the layman part).

First, here be a flowchart, since everybody loves flowcharts, right?

If the flowchart works as intended and you can now tell the jumps apart, great! If you need a bit more explanation and illustration, read on.

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Every Possible Past

Lars sat with his knees pulled close to his body, leaning against the rough-hewn surface of the kindergarten wall. He trailed his finger through the thin coating of dirt on the rockbed floor. He drew distracted shapes and wrote out words and names in the dirt, all of which he wiped clean and started anew, his brow furrowed.

Pad watched from behind. Unseeable, her eye flickered between Lars and the drawings in the dirt. She picked up the hem of her dress and moved to his side, sitting down with only a few inches of space between them. Lars said nothing. Pad didn’t either, for a while.

“What are you doing?” she asked.

“Me? Nothing,” Lars muttered. He erased a smiling sun and started anew. “Thinking.”

“…About?” Pad asked after a moment of hesitation.

“Stuff,” he answered. He picked his hand up from the dirt, seemingly lost for what to do. “Like, about this. Here.” Lars motioned to the rock walls stretching too high to measure, filtering through just enough light to see the rock dust trailing through the air, large and enveloping. “Where I’m stuck. Forever, maybe. And I’m thinking about if just…if I coulda avoided any of this if I’d just stopped being a coward sooner. That ‘stuff’.”

“Oh,” Pad answered. She stuck her own finger in the dirt, tracing squiggles. “No, you couldn’t have. You don’t have to worry about that.”

Lars blinked. “I didn’t even explain.”

“You’re concerned that your fate may have been avoided if you had helped Steven escape from Topaz sooner.” Pad added her own smiley face among the squiggles in the dirt. “Or perhaps if you had saved your blond friend on the ship when Aquamarine and Topaz descended upon you.”

Lars straightened, back against the stone wall. Then he pushed himself standing. “How do you know this stuff?”

Pad paused, her finger trailing midway through the dust. “Oh. Oh of course. My future vision is broken. It can only see the past.”

“So you can see…what, everything that happened?”

“And everything that might have happened. Like an endless tree.” She stood, and dusted herself off. “Most Sapphires can see all the possible things that might happen. I can only see the things that might have happened.”

Lars swallowed, and he stammered, and slowly he found the words. “The things that might have happened.”

“Yes.”

“So you can tell me what would have happened to me if I’d done this differently.”

“Oh, yes!”

“What would have happened if uh…what if I had helped Sadie when she needed help on the ship?”

Pad remained silent for a few seconds. A hollow wind blew through the caverns. “Ah yes, I see that vision now. You would have plummeted into the water with all the human others. And Steven would have vanished on the ship. You would have returned solemnly to your home. The next morning, you would have entered into a building with a large ring on the top.”

“The Big Donut.”

“Yes. That’s what the sign would have said.”

“What about Sadie?”

Another few seconds of silence. Pad clasped her hands together. “She would be there too. But you would not speak much with her. The disappearance of Steven would have left you both in turmoil.”

Lars wrung his hands together. “Okay… okay okay. That would have happened a couple days ago, yeah? What would be happening right now? If I was home? Where would I be?”

Pad shook her head. “Oh. I can’t see the possible presents.”

Lars licked his lips. Then he nodded. “Okay so…if I asked you tomorrow, would you be able to tell me what would have happened today? If I never left home?”

“Oh, yes. Yes, I would be able to tell you that.”

“Okay. Okay then.” Lars leaned against the wall, sinking slowly down it. He patted the dusty ground beside him. “If you’ve got some time now. Then could you tell me what um—if I had gotten off that ship, and stayed home—what would I have done yesterday?”

Pad picked up the hem of her dress and dropped into the offered spot. She fell silent a few moments before her mouth opened. “You would have returned to your place of work once more—the Big Donut. And you would have spoken to Sadie. She would have been difficult to console, as would you, but you would have triumphed eventually. She would have laughed at a humorous remark you found from the internet. This would have made you proud.”

Ten years pass quickly for Gems, not so much for humans. Lars wasn’t sure how these last ten years had passed for him, slow and fast at the same time. His physical body has not changed much, though his hair has grown much longer.

Lars leaned his back against the rough stone wall, free of dust now, and he waited for Pad to appear by his side.

When she did, Lars sunk to the ground, knees against his chest, and patted the same spot as always—as he did every day—for Pad to sit.

“So…tell me about yesterday. If I had stayed home, what would have happened yesterday?” Lars asked with urgency. It was the same question he had asked every day of the last ten years, but he was anxious now. He knew what might occur.

Pad smiled. She clasped her hands together. “You would have taken Sadie out to a food place along the beach. It would have been the one she told you she loved as a small human. And you would have taken that polished and cut stone out of your pocket, in the soft black box, and you would have presented it to her. You would have lowered yourself onto one knee first, and unfurled the box, and said, ‘Sadie, would you marry me?’”

Lars’s heart pounded in his ears. He swallowed dryly, leaning in. “What would she have said?”

“She would have said ‘Of course Lars. Of course.’”

Lars let out a strained breath, a noise of relief, or perhaps disbelief. He blinked harder, and leaned back against the wall, and traced his hand through the dirt. “Oh my god… Oh my god she would have said yes. She would have said yes.”

“Yes, she would have,” Pad answered.

The noise Lars made was soft, and wet, and it echoed out. Bouncing against the vast and dark heights of the kindergarten walls, absorbed and deflected in the cold hollow shells of Gems long extracted. And then it was lost to the cavern, that isolated and dark sealed off place. Inescapable.

A hollow wind replaced it.

Lars’s hand traced the shape of a heart in the dust, and the small strained noises from his throat dried up until only tears leaked down his cheeks. His hand stopped once it trembled too hard to trace anything more.

3

Alright, HERE we go! Awhile ago I had an idea for a MP100/Voltron crossover, and after mentioning it to @x-i-l-verify​ and loooots of brainstorming later, we have…*gestures vaguely* this. These are more or less screenshot redraws just to kind of get across who is who. :) More info, reasonings and musings under the cut, because well…it got long…

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