do i really need to buy the ps4 just for this

OTP Things:

1. “I’m not dancing in the rain. Why? Because I’m not getting wet and you can’t even dance.”

2. “Canned spaghetti rings is not gourmet. I don’t care what you did in college.”

3. “No cats, no dogs, no ferrets. Just a fish. No that doesn’t mean a frog, turtle, or fucking lizard.”

4. “I don’t wanna go to your moms-s-s.”

5. “We can share the shower, you know that right? It’s actually encouraged at this point.”

6. “Hey, buy me a cookie or no sex for like two years.”

7. “I was gone for two days and every dish in this freakin’ house is dirty.”

8. “All of our white clothes are pink because you just HAD to wash your new tee shirt.”

9. “Have fun explaining to the priest why you have a boner during our wedding class.”

10. “This is my desk. This is my office. This is my space. You’re only allowed in here when you’re sick, so I can keep an eye on you.”

11. “I thought you were drinking water for once…that ended with me choking on vodka.”

12.“Dude, you’re more of a man than me. Wtf.”

13.“Wait, your dad isn’t going to walk you down the aisle with a shotgun?”

14.“Babe, we need to talk. When you cuddle with me, your knee always squashes my junk.”

15.“Your nail polish got all over my Xbox paddle!”

16.“If you want to get to the coffee pot, kiss me and end this war.”

17.“I lock the door every night so no one can steal you from me.”

18.“That’s my ex. Makeout with me and make him jealous.”

19.“Scrape your goddamn plate off BEFORE you put it in the sink!”

20.“YOU USED THE LAST OF THE TOILET PAPER AND DIDN’T GET ANY MORE?! I AM STRANDED!”

21.“Thanks to you, the whole house smells like Taco Bell.”
“It’ll smell like something different soon, just give it a couple hours.”

22.“You’re my best friend.”
“My dog’s my best friend.”

23.“Did you just poop with the door open?”

24.“I didn’t have any underwear, so I stole yours.”

25.“No, you ARE talented. You’re the only one I know who can lay in bed and watch the same TV show for 47 hours straight.”

26.“Don’t go to work. You’re mine, not theirs.”
“But you don’t pay me to be here?”
“Are you a prostitute?”

27.“My car’s broken, I have to walk to the store.”
“My nephew’s bigwheel is in the garage. Take that, I have.”

28.“It’s just a little cut, don’t worry.”
“No, let me be your doctor.”
*gets peroxide and box of Hello-Kitty Bandaids*

29.“Hey, babe, does my makeup look okay?”
“I like you better without it. But you’re gorgeous, as always.”

30.“Pink and blue only go together if it’s cotton candy. Go change.”

31.“You have a huge job interview. Get dressed, or I’m throwing your PS4 in the pool!”

32.“You drool when you sleep, and I don’t know. I might just go tell everyone if you don’t give it back NOW!”

33.“Baby, I’m sorry. It’s checkers, please talk to me.”

34.“You didn’t text me back, so I checked your Facebook to see if you were dead.”

35.“You made me breakfast? You know our anniversary is in two days right?”
“Fuck. I was pretty fucking close this year”

36.“Rock, paper, scissors to see who gets up and turns off the light.”

37.“Look, cousin Larry will flirt with you. We’re pretty sure he’s got diseases. So if you do cheat on me, you’re fucked.”

38.“I really don’t like it when you get mad and you start mumbling in another language.”

39.“Footy pajamas! Now we can match!”

40.“Oh, so you think you’re a better driver? Prove it?” *lets go of wheel*

41.“You bought tampons when you went shopping? That’s some Prince Charming shit, right there.”

42.“Why aren’t you wearing lipgloss? I like tasting strawberry when I kiss you.”

43.“Can you explain why there are sheets strung up around the apartment?”
“I built a fort.”

44.“You scare me when you watch those cop shows. You could kill me and no one would ever notice.”

45.“Did you just fart?”
“If you want to live, don’t lift the blanket.”

46.“Toast. T-O-A-S-T. Is it that hard to put bread in the toaster?!”

————————————————

Follow @prompt-bank for more prompts DAILY!

Norman Jayden always draws the shortest straw in Heavy Rain

Aka Heavy Rain is a dick to Norman Jayden

I know that I’m about five years too late to the party and that the Heavy Rain fandom seems pretty much dead by now, but I just need to get off my chest how badly Norman Jayden is treated in this game, more so than the other three playable characters imo and why.

Spoilers, obv.

Keep reading

List of AU’s you need
  • You just spilt coffee all over my pants and now trying to wipe it off in front of all these people
  • My kid hit you in the back your head with their toy and blamed it on me
  • oh hey stranger wHY ARE YOU IN MY CAR
  • I watched you sneak in through my window but I live on the 7th floor how did you get up here???
  • You bumped into me and made me drop my art project that was due today and I don’t know whether to hit you or hit on you cause holly molly you are attractive 
  • I watched you change into a superhero, really dude? in a telephone box? real creative
  • I’m only running on 5 redbulls and a coffee and woah dude didn’t mean to sleep on your lap the whole bus ride
  • This is my phone?? what do you mean this is yours, see it has a picture of my cat- oh this is not my phone
  • You keep coming in to Best Buy to buy a new PS4, this is the 4th time this week what are you doing???
  • I don’t know how to tell you the reason you have all these viruses on your laptop is because of all the gay porn you look at
  • You were singing my favorite I’m sorry I had to sing that last part
  • There’s a cute anon that keeps sending pickup lines and you just accidentally revealed yourself and oh gosh I’m on your selfie tag right now and you just got even cuter
  • You just told off the class bully and woah I’m totally hot for you right now
  • You got a little too into flag football and tackled me and now you have to carry me to the nurses office ‘cause you broke my leg you asshole
  • I just told off the principal and even though you’re trying your damn hardest not to I can hear you laughing in the waiting room
5 years takes time - parenting evak drabble

halla!! its 2.57 am and i just finished writing up this special drabble for @betchnaesheim :’) i hope she likes it and i hope u all do, too <3


When Isak and Even had first decided to adopt, they didn’t read through the ‘fine print’ of what taking care of a child may hold. The first five years for them were the hardest - but considering they adopted a girl, they thought they had a clear mind set of what they were up against. But, boy, were they wrong, because over the course of the first five years of taking care of their daughter would really open their eyes to many things.

-

The first year;

Isak had just gotten Sol to sleep in her crib after having fed her a bottle of warm milk. It was a working cycle over the past few weeks since they had adopted her, but tonight Isak felt relieved since Even was home a bit earlier from his shift. He collapses onto their bed, Even chuckling as he heaves out a sigh, brushing some hair out of his eyes.

“I finally got her to sleep. Took some effort, but I did it,” Isak grumbles, crawling up closer to Even who smiles at him, instantly wrapping his husband in his arms.

“You did good,” Even tells him, placing a kiss on top of his head.

“You’ve told me that for the past five weeks since we got her,” Isak huffs, burying his face into the crook of Even’s neck.

“I’m not wrong,” Even laughs. “It’ll get easier.”

“I just need a full night of sleep for once,” Isak says as he pushes himself under the duvet, his eyes drooping closed and he can feel Even’s fingers run through his hair. Isak allows his breathing to slow, his muscles relax as he tries to fall asleep but he moans as he can hear the loud crying coming from Sol’s room. He moves to get up but he feels Even stop him and he looks up at him, raising an eyebrow.

“Just go back to sleep, I can handle it. Good night, Isak,” Even says, placing a quick kiss on Isak’s forehead before getting up from their bed and heading out of the room and into Sol’s nursery and as soon as Isak closes his eyes again, he’s fast asleep knowing Sol is being taken care of.

-

Keep reading

Sic Parvis Magna

** Spoilers for Uncharted 4: A Thief’s End

About 10 years ago, before I was into Supernatural and going to cons, and when I hadn’t touched a camera since high school, I was isolated at home. I was going to uni to finish my degree, but what should have taken three years took me seven. I had lost touch with all my friends. I was, and still am, chronically, medically depressed. 

I had a PS3 and an XBox360, and I was a pretty hardcore gamer. Uncharted, Assassin’s Creed, and Bioshock were all my jam. They still are my jam. But Uncharted was always my favourite. I got a Platinum (got every trophy) on Uncharted 1, 2, and 3. When Uncharted 2 came out with a multiplayer, I levelled up to over 40, and almost did the same in Uncharted 3. For me though, Uncharted was about the characters. I fell in love with Nate, I wanted to be Elena, and I wanted a best friend like Sully. 

Then SPN came along, and with it conventions. I picked up a camera again. Suddenly the world opened up and I was traveling to other countries by myself, making friends all over the world, capturing it all with my camera. When the PS4 console came out, I didn’t have the money to buy it. I was working, but everything was going to travel and photography equipment and cons. I was sad, because Uncharted 4 was going to be one of the first games to come out and I knew it was the last in the series. I was slightly freaking out that it was called “A Thief’s End”, thinking that they might kill off Nate, or Elena, or Sully. I watched while other people got the game, and my friend Schmelke got it and told me it was really good. I didn’t tell him why I was asking him so much. I was happy with where I was, I didn’t regret that I didn’t have the money to spend right then. I still don’t; photography is my world now. 

Fast forward to this year. This is the longest I will be going without going to a convention. I could feel myself backsliding slightly, so I thought, “Okay. You deserve it. Save up and buy a PS4.” So I did. I bought Uncharted 4, and in between work and editing photos I started playing it. 

I just finished the story last night. I sat there when the black credits scene came over, suddenly the room getting dark and I cried. I knew I would be sad; I even joked that I would cry. But I didn’t realise I actually would. I cried so much. 

(These screenshots were all taken in-game while I was playing - PS4 has a share feature, that lets you take screencaps. It was kind of like doing photography during the game, so win-win for me!) 

I don’t really know why I’m writing this, I think it’s to try to make sense of it myself. I’m not one of those people who thinks you need to apologise for loving something, or feeling passionate about something. I think it was because it felt like these characters that had come into my life when I was so vulnerable were getting their happy ending, and for me that felt like hope. It felt cathartic, like saying goodbye not only to these characters but to a part of myself that was still there deep inside me. It’s hard to say goodbye though. Really hard. To say I got a look at what it will feel like for many people when SPN ends isn’t a stretch. 

I keep coming back to that feeling of hope though. The girl in me that was so lost was still there, but she was winning more than she was losing. In the game and in life. 

P.S. “en garde, dickhead” has to be one of my favourite lines of anything ever. 

Q&A with Jay Park
  • Request: Can we have a Q/A with Jay as the bf. You are a singer as well, so basically you met at a concert :) and now you were friends before becoming a couple.. And it was SsamD who pushed both of you to confess that you like each other haha full of teasing pls
  • I hope you like it : )
  • ---
  • After watching Simon’s Q&A with his girlfriend, Jay wants to do one with you. Both of you are always busy due to hectic schedules - Jay with his label and you with your singing career. Luckily for both of you, Jay has found some time between his work and you were in Seoul for a press tour for your new album. So Jay asked you to come into the studio to do the Q&A with him along with Simon who will be asking the questions and doing the filming.
  • Jay: Simon, you can’t ask any other questions except the ones on the cards ok?
  • Simon: I know, I know. I've done this before so I should I know better than you, Park Jae-Beom. Ok, I'm ready. Action!
  • Jay: Aiight. Hello everyone, My name is Jay Park and I'm here today with my lovely girlfriend aka [Y/N].
  • You: Hi!
  • Jay: Just a hi, babe? No I'm here with my sexy boyfriend? I'm just messing with you babe so we're going to a Q&A today just like the one with Simon.
  • Simon: They like to copy me. Anyway the first question is where did you two go on your first date?
  • You: First date? I think we were both in your hometown, Seattle. Jay asked me to go this local Mexican place. The food there was amazing!
  • Jay: Yeah, we went to Luna Azul. Shout out to them. Go check them if you're in the area. We didn't do much after hey?
  • You: No, we didn't. It was raining that night so we went back to your house.
  • Jay: Damn right, we went back to my house. I pressed her buttons that night hehe
  • You: What buttons? I think you meant your PS4 controller babe because we played games that night as well.
  • Jay: As well...
  • Simon: Ayyyy TMI. Save those stories to the end.
  • Jay: Whatever man. Read out the next question.
  • Simon: What are your thoughts the first time meeting each other?
  • You: We met at Justin Bieber's concert. We were both in same VIP room.
  • Simon: What did you think of him?
  • You: I thought he was a very cold person at first because he wasn't really talking to anyone besides his crew. But also, very imitating.
  • Jay: Imitating? Who, me?
  • You: You're right. Jay is like a very enthusiastic.. puppy. He may look like a cold person but once you start talking to him, he's very funny and sarcastic.
  • Simon: What about you, Jay? What did you think of [Y/N]?
  • Jay: I noticed her well before we all got settled in the room. I thought, wow this girl has a very pretty smile and also that ass!
  • You smack Jay on his chest.
  • Jay: I'm sorry baby. Seriously, her smile lit up the room. I was very hesitant to talk to her because I thought she already had a boyfriend. I mean, someone that good looking wouldn't be single.
  • Simon: And ahem who told you to go and talk to her first? Before the Biebs would ask her to go to his after party.
  • Jay: It was you, Simon. He purposely pushed me into her. But in seriousness, I'm thankful for that. Otherwise I wouldn't be as happy as I am today.
  • Simon: Aww too cute, Park Jae-Beom. You better mention me during your wedding. So what is the most romantic thing that he/she has done?
  • You: The time when Jay flew out to Taipei to surprise me on my birthday. I didn't know but when I left Seoul to go to Taipei, Jay was on the next flight out. But he didn't show up until my concert the next night. He surprised me on stage. I kind of hate him for that because I cried and it ruined my makeup.
  • Jay: Do you know how hard it was knowing we were in the same hotel and having to avoid you?
  • You: What was hard, Jay?
  • Jay: I can't say it because Simon is here.
  • Simon: I'm sure I know what I mean Jay. You don't need to speak in codes.
  • Jay: Anyway, I think the most romantic thing [Y/N] has ever done to me, well actually she usually does it when I have a shit day. [Y/N] always prepares a bath for me. You know, with those cool bath bombs and candles.
  • Simon: You in a bath tub? That's an odd picture. Ok, what are each other’s worst or annoying habits?
  • You: Jay's tongue!
  • Jay: My tongue?
  • You: You're always sticking your tongue out. It's so annoying when I want to take a proper picture. Like your tongue should stay inside of your mouth baby.
  • Jay: That's not what you wanted or said last night.
  • You smack Jay across the chest again.
  • Jay: Haha. And you have the bad habit of taking my jackets and caps. To make things worse, she would pack them into her bags when she leaves. It's fucking winter right now and all I've been doing is wearing layers.
  • You: Good. Wearing layers would make it look like your arms are big and muscly.
  • Jay: Hey!
  • Simon: Alright love birds. Next question what is your ideal date night?
  • You: I prefer staying in you know, just a home cooked dinner and Netflix is fine. Plus I get to show Jay how to cook.
  • Jay: Yeah. Given our crazy schedules, it is always nice to wind down and relax.
  • Simon: That's nice. We're nearly at the end of this, are there any weird fantasies/kinks that you have or into?
  • Jay: I've seen shit going around saying that I have a daddy kink..?
  • You: Ha!
  • Simon: Does he, [Y/N]?
  • You look at Jay.
  • Jay: Fo real tho, I don't.
  • You: He actually doesn't but when he's annoying, I use that against him which makes it worse sometimes and he would pun-
  • Jay: Aye baby don't give away too much.
  • You: Oops, sorry...
  • Jay: Also, I'm just going to straight out tell them this. I like seeing [Y/N] strip.
  • Your face was blushing and you could feel your cheeks burning up.
  • Simon: Okay, last question do you two have any funny, embarrassing sex stories?
  • You: There are many, right Jay? I remember the one with your song. I'll tell it. We usually listen to music when we um do it and there was this time when one of Jay's songs was playing. What was it again?
  • Jay: It was Do What We Do.
  • You: That's right. So apparently, the track was like the first recording Jay made and at the end, you could hear Simon and Gray talking. They were having an argument of what's better - dumplings or ramen. It was so weird hearing them because I thought they were in the same room as us. So awkward and I couldn't stop laughing afterwards.
  • Jay: Yeah and that was the last time we ever have songs playing in the background.
  • Simon: Aha, sorry guys. Okay that's all the questions, now say goodbye to your fans.
  • You: Thanks for watching this and I hope to do another one soon. Mwah!
  • Jay: Thank you and please go support my baby. Her new album has just dropped, go listen and buy it now! Peace! AOMG! Argh!
Let Me Love You

Request: 

  • Can you please do an imagine with Gerard and (y/n) where the reader and Gerard have had a crush on each other for mooonths (and they are like both best friends) and there is this really strong sexual tension between them but their both really shy. And then one day after school Gerard like confesses his feeling and kisses the reader and it like turns all smutty afterwards. THANK YOU I KNOW ITS ALOT BUT…. I HAVE NEED ;-; (thank you a million, I love you)
  • hey so i cant get over basement gerard (at all) and i was wondering if you could do a fluffy basement gerard piece? i dont really care what about just anything with basement gerard would be really appreciated
  • Hey! Can I have a Gerard way smut where he is insecure about himself and y/n helps him? Thanks! BTW I love your writing!
  • One where you have a major crush on Gerard

“I got it for Christmas. It’s really cool! There’s even some games that only come out for this console,” Gerard squeaked excitedly as he led me downstairs to his room. He had been bragging about getting the new PS4 all day and I was finally coming over to see it. He had propped up on his shelf next to his TV, the surface completely cleaned off when it was usually covered in half empty cups and drawings.

 “There it is,” he said proudly, resting his hand on top of the console. 

“I prefer X-Box controls,” I shrugged, hearing him scoff behind me. 

“The PS4 is a way better console Y/N. It has so many features an X-Box doesn’t have.”

“I never said X-Box was better, i’m just saying I like the controls better.”“Do you wanna play?”

“Of course, did you think I came all the way here just to look at it?” I giggled, earning a quiet “shut it” from him.We played his new game for awhile, me sucking since the controls were practically backwards. I could tell Gerard was doing bad on purpose, trying to make me feel better. Whenever I confronted him about missing a shot I knew he usually got easily, he just shrugged it off and said he messed up.

What a dork.

Gerard made the poor mistake of buying chargable controllers instead of regular ones that just took batteries and his controller died thirty minutes in. I played while he waited for his to charge, feeling his eyes burning into the side of my face the entire time. During one of the load screens, I turned to look at him, his face flushing in embarrassment.

“Need something?” I asked, making him babble incoherently.

“N-No, well yes. I mean no. I…we need to talk,” he finally said clearly, his face turning more pale than usual. 

“Is everything okay?”

“I just need to tell you something. For awhile now, I’ve kinda sort of had a crush on you. I understand if you don’t feel the same way but I just figured you have the right to know especially when you spend the night and-”

“Gee, I like you too.” 

If Gerard’s face could get any paler it would, his eyes going wide and his mouth falling open.“Really?!”

“Yes. I’ve had a crush on you since eighth grade you big dork,” I giggled. A wide smile broke out on his face. His fingers fumbled with his sleeves before tucking his hair behind his ears.

“Do you mind if I…you know kiss you?” I shook my head, scooting a few inches closer to him. He closed his eyes, inching forward slowly before brushing our lips together softly. I could feel his lips tremble against mine, electricity sparking in me with each gentle touch. I wanted more, wanted to feel him let go.

I moved forward and straddled his waist, curling my fingers into his long locks. He hesitantly put his arms on my waist, running his hands up my sides. My tongue flicked at his bottom lip, begging for an entrance. He slightly opened his mouth, giving my tongue just enough space to invade his mouth. I heard him moan softly when my tongue tangled with his, rolling my hips against his.

“Y/N,” He whimpered when we pulled apart. “Are you sure you want to do this?”

“If you want to. Do you?”

“I do but…i’m scared of what you’re going to think,” he confessed, avoiding my eyes.

“What do you mean?”

“You’re just so pretty and smart and funny and great and i’m so…average, fat, and unattractive. I have no experience with this and I don’t want you to see me and not like me anymore.”

“Gee, look at me.” I placed my hand under his chin, forcing him to look at me. He let out a shaky breath, his eyes watery and his cheeks wet with salty tears. “Gee, you’re perfect. You’re the most sexy, amazing, beautiful boy I’ve ever met. Let me show you.”

He nodded, smiling a little when I gave his lips a quick peck. My hands moved down to his shirt, looking up at him for permission, he sighed and nodded, closing his eyes tightly once the fabric was off his chest.

I ran my hands up and down his pale chest, trailing kisses down his neck, chest, paying extra attention to the folds and rolls he hated. “You’re so hot Gerard, so perfect,” I murmured into his skin, swirling my tongue under his navel and earning a desperate whine from him. He stopped me when I moved down to his pants.

“Too far?” I asked.

“No I just…I….are you sure you want to do this? I understand if you don’t want to.”

“I want to Gee. I want to show you how much I love you,” I insisted, watching that beautiful smile return to his face. “Have you ever gotten a blowjob before?”

“No,” he said a little embarrassed.

“You’re gonna enjoy this,” I smirked, lowering down his pants and boxers, his erection springing free. “Fuck you’re perfect baby, so big,” I murmured, watching a faint blush form on his cheeks. I took his length into my hand, stroking him softly and earning a quiet string of moans. I leaned forward and ran my tongue along his slit, hearing him draw in a sharp breath.

I wrapped my lips around his tip, lowering myself as far as I could go. His shaky hand wrapped into my hair, curling his fingers in time with my head bobs. I hollowed out my cheeks, looking up at him through half lidded eyes.

He had his head tilted back against his headboard, eyes closed tightly, mouth agape, and beads of sweat rolling down his face. He had morphed from the adorable boy to the most sexiest thing I’ve ever seen.

I felt him twitch in my mouth, signaling he was close. He lightly bucked his hips up to meet my mouth, small moans spewing out. “Shit Y/N. This feel so good…i’m g-getting close,” he groaned out.

I sped up my actions, running my tongue along his shaft with each thrust. He came with a loud grunt, followed by a few curse words as his cum shot down my throat. I swallowed of it, wiping the corners of my mouth when I pulled off of him.

“You’re so sexy like this Gerard, with hair all tousled and moaning my name,” I purred, sitting up next to him and kissing his lips. He kissed back more confidently now, making the first move and pushing his tongue past my lips.

“Thank you. Not just for the uh blowjob but for, y’know sayin’ that stuff,” he mumbled bashfully.

“I meant every word Gerard. You’re the most attractive guy I’ve ever seen and I love you.”

“I love you too,” he grinned, capturing my lips with his one last time before laying his head down onto my lap, lazily closing his eyes. “That made me tired,” he chuckled, followed by a yawn.

“Go to sleep baby,” I smiled, stroking his sweaty hair as he fell asleep in my lap.

Jealousy (Jungkook Imagine)

I’ve changed it up a little bit and added a little jealous Jungkook. Hope you enjoy it! ^_^

- Admin SIC


Ever since your best friend, Taehyung, introduced you to the rest of the group most of your weekends were spend in the guys’ dorm, playing video games with Jimin and Taehyung, and learning a few cooking tips from Jin. You were getting along with everyone. Everyone, except Jeon Jungkook, the golden boy and all that. You always thought he was cute before meeting him and you even told Taehyung that you might have a little crush on him. His eyes are so big and full of life and his smile always made you feel giddy. That was until you actually met the cocky maknae. He didn’t even bother to look you in the eyes when Taehyung introduced you and you found that very rude, given the fact that he’s always so shy and cute, and nice when he meets new people but with you, he just seemed uninterested by your persona and most of the time he would start making salty comments just to annoy you.

You just arrived at the front door of their apartment, knocking three consecutive times and waited for the door to open. A couple of minutes passed and still no one answered. They were supposed to be home since Taehyung texted you to come over. You tried again in the hopes that maybe it was too loud in there and they couldn’t have heard the knocking, but surely the door cracked opened to reveal the maknae, looking at you questioningly.

“Aren’t you gonna open the door?” You asked, shifting your weight on the other leg as you waited for him to do just that. With a deep sigh, like it was the hardest thing to do, he opened the door to reveal the empty apartment.

“Where is everyone?” You asked as you stepped inside, looking around the silent room.

“How would i know that?” Jungkook walked ahead and plopped onto the couch, turning the tv on.

“Well, you are the one living with them. Taehyung said he was home, though.” You mumbled the last part, pouting as you sat down next to the maknae.

“Jin hyung said something about a new restaurant. I don’t know and i don’t really care.” He said carelessly as he propped his feet onto the coffee table, switching through the channels.

“You know, we could do something until they come back.” You proposed to unwind the awkward atmosphere around you. 

“Like what?” He turned to face you, waiting for your response.

“I don’t know, play a video game or something?” You proposed, grinning nervously. You knew how competitive he was and how he would never pass up the opportunity to kick someone’s ass and win the game.

“Sure. I could take some of my time to beat you.” He shrugged as he stood up to get the controllers and switched the tv to AV mode where the big letters of the PS4 appeared on the screen, waiting to load the games. “Would you rather lose in a fighting game or racing?” He asked smirking.

Originally posted by donewithjeon

“First of all, you won’t beat me, Jungkookie. I am the best when it comes to video games, you can ask Tae and Jimin-” You said, adding the nickname to tease him but you couldn’t even finish your sentence because he interrupted you.

“That doesn’t mean anything. They just naturally suck at it, so your argument is invalid.” He laughed smugly as you rolled your eyes and continued.

“And secondly, I’ll take racing.” You pointed at the screen and waited for him to press the button to open Need For Speed.You were confident when it came to racing since you loved cars and the idea of speeding past the limits. 

Jungkook pressed start and on the screen appeared a girl that explained to you the underground world and the types of cars available for you to choose. As always, your favorite car was Mitsubishi Lancer X and as soon as the car appeared on the list you chose it without a second thought.

But for Jungkook took a longer time to decide which one he’ll get like he was buying them for his personal garage, not in a virtual game. He took his time comparing the top speed and the handling to make sure he chose the best one but it only annoyed you more since it’s been 15 minutes and he was still contemplating between a Mazda and an Audi TT.

“Would you just-” You caught yourself off before you snapped at him but he was too focused that he didn’t even hear you and instead he finally chose the TT. “Thank God, this game has only 20 cars.” You rolled your eyes as the countdown began.

“Ramble all you want but i’ll win this race for sure.” He smirked, leaning forwards to rest his elbows on his knees, taking his position for the race.

“I can’t wait to tell Tae how i beat your sorry ass.” You laughed evilly as he gave a questioning look. Okay, so maybe you were as competitive as him as your mouth would speak without a filter, so what? He just took a half an hour to choose a damn car.

“I’m sure your little boyfy would comfort you when he gets home to see you crying.” He grumbled, almost inaudible over the sound of burning tires but you heard him right.

Jungkook was thinking you and Taehyung were actually an item when you definitely weren’t. Is that bothering him? Is that why he acts the way he acts around you?

“What did you say?” You cleared your voice almost choking when you heard him.

“Nothing.” He mumbled. You let it go for a while in the favor of winning the game.

You were both concentrating on outracing each other, dodging the traffic that was in the way and trying to virtually feel the car by pressing gently on the buttons to not brake too suddenly or drift into a fence or something and crash in the middle of the race. It was bumper to bumper and you were close to the finish line as you could see the green smoke emanating from the sides of the road and you pressed harder on the throttle button as if it would make the car move faster and you did it, outraced him. So you thought. But Jungkook slowed down deliberately to bump into your car’s rear, making you loose control of the car and crash into another vehicle as he sped to the finish line and eventually winning the race.

“Ha-ha! Told ya i’ll beat you.” He got up to do a victory dance.

“Yah! That’s not fair. You cheated!” You frowned, throwing a pillow at him and he dodged it skillfully as he stuck his tongue out, doing his signature dance. You had to admit it was cute but you couldn’t have those thoughts now. You are supposed to be mad at him for cheating.

“Well, there are no rules, darling. It’s the underground world where everything is permitted.” He teased you as you sulked, pouting while looking down at your controller.

“Aw, don’t cry, [Y/N], i’m sure Taetae is going to make you feel better when he comes back home.” He cooed before he placed his controller on the coffee table and made his way to the kitchen.

“Okay, what the hell do you keep implying?” You stood up from the couch to follow him.

“What do you mean? I just said your boyfriend is going to kiss your pout away.” He said innocently, taking a bottle of water from the fridge as you stared at him shocked.

“What boyfriend are you talking about? Taehyung is not my boyfriend, idiot.” You laughed at his crazy statement. Taehyung is cute and sweet but you didn’t see him that way since your crush was and will always be Jungkook. And seeing him get jealous of his hyung was such an adorable sight.

“But you are always with him.” He took a sip of his water before placing the bottle on the counter to look at you.

“Yeah, because we are friends and you are always ignoring me. Why are you ignoring me, by the way?” You asked, crossing your arms over your chest and waiting for his explanation as he fiddled with the hem of his shirt, a light blush appearing on his cheeks. Cute.

“I wasn’t ignoring you.” He mumbled. “I just didn’t like it when hyung got to be so close to you because you seem fun and i thought that you guys were a thing and i didn’t wanna be the third wheel.” He tried to look into your eyes but he was too shy to do it, so he settled for your lips instead.

“Just so you know, Taehyung is not my bias in your group.” You said shyly as you looked away from him.

“What?” He asked, confused. “Then who is it? Hobi hyung?” He asked a little disappointed.

“No, idiot. You.” You said as his face lightened up with a shy smiled as he came towards you and gave a hug. “I can’t believe you assumed i was Taehyung’s girlfriend.” You slapped his chest playfully as he groaned embarrassed.

“Don’t tell Taehyung about this.” He pleaded into your ear as you laughed at him. “So, does this mean you’ll go out with me?” He pulled back to look at your face as you brought a finger to your chin contemplating your answer.

“Hmm, i don’t know.” You saw his face froze in disbelief as you continued to tease him further.

“[Y/N]!” He whined as you started laughing, nodding your head.

As you were hugging in the kitchen the front door opened, Taehyung’s deep and loud voice reverberating throughout the entire apartment, startling you and Jungkook.

“Ah, i see you finally came to face your feelings my dongsaengs.” He said proudly. “I hope you’ll stop bugging me with how cute and adorable Jungkookie is, [Y/N].” He wiggled his brows as your face started to burn up in embarrassment and you could feel Jungkook giggling before Taehyung continued, “And you, Jungkook, will stop subtly hinting your jealousy. Have fun, kids.” He said as he waddled into his room, leaving the two of you a blushing mess. That was until Jungkook decided to speak again.

“So you think i’m cute and adorable?” He wiggled a brow as he pulled away from the hug and you covered your face.

“Well, you were jealous of Taehyung.” You fired back, stomping your foot.

“Yeah, because you are cute and i like you.” He smiled sweetly, making your cheeks burn. “And now i know you like me too.”

“Shut up.” You whined in a pouty voice as Jungkook pulled you into a hug where you hid your face.

“Make me.” He said suggestively.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. No one is making no one do nothing. Not in the kitchen.” Jin entered the room with a couple of bags full of groceries as Jungkook took your hand and guided you to his room, ignoring his annoying hyungs that started cooing behind you. You had a lot to talk about, including the details for your first date.

"What do you want for Christmas?"

Me: “Money.”

“Nooooo that’s not a thoughtful gift! Choose an actual THING 😊”

Me: “M-O-N-E-Y”

Money for a new tattoo.
Money for new clothes.
Money for some new weave.
Money for a new PS4 game.
Money for some Converses.
Money for some gas and an oil change.
Money for that one pop-up bill every month.
Money for some jewelry.
Money for some Chinese food.
MONEY.
I’M AN ADULT, SAVE YOURSELF THE TROUBLE, GIVE ME THAT FUCKING CASH AND CALL IT A DAMN DAY.

Video Games

This is a Solangelo fic I wrote on AO3 a little while ago and I decided I wanted to share it on here. I’ve posted the link before but I want it to be easy to read for people on Tumblr who don’t really use AO3. Anyway, Enjoy:


It was Tuesday, arguably Will’s favorite day. It wasn’t always that way, in fact, he typically much preferred the leisurely weekends to any of the rambunctious, busy days of the week. But things had changed for the blond. He stood behind the checkout counter, watching bustling people rush passed the store, scarves wrapped tightly around their necks, gloved hands clutching intently on their steaming cups of coffee from the cafe just a few doors over.

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[Update] To video blog & FT seiyuu interview and Gruvia doujinshis translations

Okay! This is going to be a long post since I’m going to include Gray & Juvia’s seiyuu (voice actors) interviews when they’re talking about Gruvia related and the Gruvia doujinshis translation update.

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Let’s Talk About Exclusivity!

So, with the release of the highly anticipated ‘Bloodborne’, there was bound to be some hate towards From Software. Why? Because the game is a PS4 exclusive. The words ‘console exclusive’ are so toxic in today’s gaming climate - what with companies being accused of completely dropping their fanbase and selling out to another company for no reason, and of course, the fact that both X1 and PS4 themselves have had very little exclusives - or at least, no proper reason to feel proud in owning one yet. I mean, yes, PS4 has had inFAMOUS: Second Son, The Last Of Us: Remastered, Grim Fandango: Remastered and a few other great games - but anything else that hasn’t appeared on any other system has either been made available on PC, or wasn’t a great game in the first place. The Order: 1886 and Killzone: Shadow Fall, where visual spectacles and a true testament to what the PS4 can do, were still below-average games in themselves, which was a shame. Sure, the future for PS4 specifically looks extremely promising, but for now, it has been a very slow start. But then - the clouds parted - and MOTHER-FUCKING BLOODBORNE HAPPENED. And people weren’t happy. If you’re somebody who despises the concept of system exclusivity anyway, I’d say stop reading this right now - because you won’t agree from the second I start farting out my own words. It’ll be a waste of your time. For everyone else, then lets continue!


What I found really funny throughout this whole thing though were a handful of people who weren’t PS4 users - mainly PC users. A few X1 users, but mainly PC. There have been petitions to release Bloodborne to every other platform, and if not, outright abuse thrown at From Software for ‘abandoning’ their audience. May I ask why? One second, the console industry is heavily criticised for having no games at all and gamers are then persuaded to ‘just get a good PC’, but then when the bloody brilliant games start getting released for the console users, it’s then an awful business practise that is a disgrace to gaming. I never saw ANYONE complaining over The Order being exclusive, or Killzone, or Knack for that matter. Why? Because the games weren’t that great, and nobody wanted them. That’s when the console industry gets slandered for not having any good games. Then, the second the console gets a great game, everyone goes apeshit and cries foul against terrible business practise. Basically, it’s a lose/lose situation nowadays. And it’s sad.


However, allow me to answer my own question from earlier. The main reason people are pissed off with Bloodborne specifically is because of Dark Souls. From Software have been multi-platform for their last 2 games now, and people now think they’ve done a ‘Rise of the Tomb Raider’ and fucked over their audience for the sake of a quick buck from Sony. Well, I don’t think so at all. This situation is different. Rise of the Tomb Raider is a SEQUEL. And not only is it a sequel, but it’s a sequel to a fantastic game that was released on practically everything - even getting a ‘definitive edition’ remaster for the next-gen consoles. When a sequel - a continuation of a character - a continuation of a game SERIES - is then suddenly thrown into exclusive territory - you know something is wrong - especially when coming off of a huge success like the first Tomb Raider. Some people would have bought the first Tomb Raider on PC for the best possible experience (and who could blame them?), and then hope for the potentially equally great sequel to arrive - only for it to appear exclusively on a less powerful system for no good reason whatsoever. I mean, if the first game was bad, nobody would care - but if the game was great, why would people consider buying it with an X1 for the not-best-possible experience? Other than the possibility we knew the sequel would be exclusive (which we didn’t), there WAS no reason for it. It made no sense whatsoever, and there was obviously a lot of bribe money involved. No thought or consideration to the audience that was invested in the series when it was released on their system of choice a few years back. That is shitty. And pointless. Bayonetta 2 is literally the only exception I can think of to this, because unfortunately, nobody cared about Bayonetta 2 EXCEPT Nintendo. Without Nintendo, that game would never have happened.


But besides all of that, Bloodborne is NOT Dark Souls 3. It’s a NEW thing. Sure the gameplay is practically Souls with loads of nuances, but it’s an entirely new and fresh IP (potentially - I mean, time may change. I hope it doesn’t - the PS4 could do with a new IP!) that both parties obviously wanted to work with - and it’s also been clearly built and designed with the PS4 in mind. If people wanted to experience it, then that’s a huge shame, for sure - but the same can be said for any Naughty Dog game. People tend to also forget that Demon’s Souls - another From Software title - was a PS3 exclusive. There was never a Demon’s Souls 2. And if there was, I’m sure that’d also be exclusive. From Software have obviously had a good relationship with Sony from Demon’s Souls, and probably wanted to help out with the PS4′s library with a new IP and new exclusive to make PS4 owners feel better about their investment. Or maybe they just wanted to work with Sony. They’re adults, they can make whatever decisions they want to. And nobody else truly knows why this has happened other than what they tell us! Say whatever you want about console gaming, but unfortunately there’s a HUGE audience for it, and people want the breakthrough games to play when they spend the money on the console in the first place. They COULD just get a PC, for sure, but not everyone likes the same things/don’t have the money for a high-end PC - whether something is technically better or not. And because of that, every gamer needs something to play. Some of my favourite games of all time, like Amnesia, are PC exclusive - and do I mind? Not at all. I just credit the fact that I can jump back and forth between multiple systems for a diverse gaming experience, and make me feel gratified for spending the money on each system in the first place! And yes, where ‘exclusivity wars’ were much more engrossing and exciting in the 90′s (not to mention a LOT more light-hearted), it’s a shame to see experiments and new IP’s like this get slandered for the sake of being new IP’s nowadays. It’s been rough for the ‘exclusives’ recently with all the shadey stuff happening, so I don’t blame anyone for jumping on the bandwagon against the concept all together, but hopefully, with the advent of Bayonetta 2 and Bloodborne, we’ll actually end up back in a position of fun experimentation between companies pushing their systems to the limits to satisfy loyal customers, and provide healthy development and competition between companies as a whole. I know it hasn’t been like that for a while, but with these kinds of games coming out now, I’m crossing my fingers for the future!


Sure, with the advent of PC’s giving SO much more power and performance than any console can, people also wonder why the hell Bloodborne isn’t multi-platform anyway. From a business standpoint, people would assume that releasing the same game everywhere would actually be better, but I’m not sure. This game’s praise has almost made it THE reason to own a PS4 - so I’m sure that the money these guys would make would be more from bulk console sales and bundle sales than units of the game alone. I personally have wanted more of a reason to pick up my console controllers, and recently, Nintendo and Sony have got me covered with their IP’s, as well as PC with their games like A Hat in Time’s prototype, Civilisation, Kerbal Space Program and Legend of Grimrock 2. And I’m happy with that. I don’t want to experience everything in one place, because then the effort would be less from the devs part. They need to pressure to stand out. The pressure to be a poster-child. The pressure to get people interested in their systems. Where it has been pretty toxic recently with the sake of just taking bribes for ‘going exclusive’ and all the other stuff, I’m hoping that soon, it’ll be more for the sake of the games than the money they make. And with games like Bloodborne and Bayonetta 2 standing out alongside the technically superior PC and all the awesome games it has to offer, we seem to be heading in the right direction. Not to mention Uncharted 4 and Splatoon!


If it’s your birthday today while reading this fart, then happy frickin’ birthday to you - and please remember to stay beautiful! <3

How To Appear Cool Without Actually Trying

The comic bookstore post. I picked it up, dusted it off, gave it a trim and let it grow to see what came out. It didn’t go the direction I planned, but that doens’t mean I don’t love it they way it is now. If you don’t want the spoilers on the pairings avoid the tags until you read it. 

I also added a few things to the beginning about Seph. Something about glasses, otherwise it’s pretty much the same. 

Really long post. 


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The Binding of Isaac Rebirth 2014 Q&A!
The Binding of Isaac Rebirth 2014 Q&A!

Ok so first off im making this QA so the fans are informed, i get a constant barrage of emails, tumblr questions and tweets about rebirth, and these seem to be the most common questions.

im doing this for YOU so all i ask in return is to be sure to post this QA places so fans can read it, and if you ever see someone ask one of these, just direct them to this post please :)

now on to theQ&A!

—————————————-

Q:Why are you making a remake already!!?? A: Waaay back when we made wrath of the lamb we had planned on another expansion around the size of wrath, but because of flash limitations not only was it not possible, most of our flas got so corrupted that it took days to export simple patches of the game.  i was contacted by Tyrone of Nicalis (Cave Story, VVVVVV, etc) about a super meat boy remake for non xbla consoles, and since i had hit a wall with isaac i suggested a remake and we were off!   Q:Why did you change the art style for rebirth!? (ps i hate it!) A: i have a few reasons for the change.. let me list them! 1. i didnt like the flash style, isaac was a big rush job and i did all the art in less than 2 months. i wasnt ever happy with it and hadnt planned on the game being so successful so i just got the job done so i could finish the game… aka the art was lazy and to me, just an eyesore. 2. i had always wanted isaac to be retro looking. the game was based on zelda and if i was any good at pixel sprites and had more time i would have done the whole game in a retro style. i had originally wanted to do more of an nes look, but after loads of testing and a few public opinion posts we decided on a gba (higher than 16bit) art style. 3. if i had to do all the art myself it would push mewgenics and rebirth back a ton. i didnt want to spread myself thin or half ass the art so i asked tyrone to put his best pixel artists on the job.  4. i like this style a lot more. Q: Ive seen pics and i hate the way the game looks! why are you such a foolish mongo!? A: the pics you have seen are still very early builds of the game, all the basic art is in place but non of the game’s new visual additions are at all in place. when its all said and done rebirth will feature a shit load of very pretty animated pixel effects, from fog, lighting, moving grass and torches to non enemy creatures that wander, crawl, fly and eventually get stepped on. there will also be tons of other little effects like interactive puddles, smoke, subtle quakes, drips,drops and moving foliage. so please hold your opinions till we finally release an official and final screen shot, and if you still hate it, i wont force you to buy the game :) Q:Is rebirth an expansion? and what will make it different than the old game? A: not only is rebirth a fully remodeled and revamped and greatly improved version of isaac + wrath of the lamb, but it will also feature so much content that the game will almost be doubled in terms of new enemies, items, characters, endings, secrets, rooms, chapters, challenges and a shit load of very new and unexpected additions.  Q:Will rebirth support my XYZ controller?! A: yes, rebirth features all the support that any normal non-flash game would feature. Q:Is rebirth still in flash!? A:NO! Q:Will rebirth be full screen and have resolution options that dont suck!? A: yes rebirth features all the support that any normal non-flash game would feature. Q:Are you taking preorders? and if i own isaac do i get a discount!?? A: not yet, but yes. when preorders start up, till its release we will be taking preorders and if you own isaac you will also get a very sizable loyalty discount. i cant say how much it will be just yet, but it should make owning the original very worth it.  Q:Are you doing early access?! A: hell no, rebirth is a game loaded with secrets and fun stuff i dont want anyone to see before anyone else. i also hate showing my wip games. Q:What platforms is rebirth coming out on?!! and why isnt it coming out on XYZ!!!! A: as of now, Steam, Ps4 and Vita.. but the rest arent out of the question. we would love to release on all systems, the ball is in their courts though. we miiiiight also test the game out on ipad and see how it works, if it works ok then we will also release there. Q:Why no Nintendo!!!! I FUCKING HATE YOU! A: we want to release on 3ds, and will if given the option. isaac currently goes against Nintendos publishing rules due to its religious aspects.. but stuff might change, you never know.    Q:Can i switch art styles back to the flash look?  A: of course not, rebirth will only feature one art style.  Q:Will the music for rebirth get the same overhaul that the graphics and gameplay did or are you just phoning it in!? A: we are for sure not phoning it in. rebirth will feature a fully updated score to go with the new lush environments that is sure to please.  Q:I hear there will be multiplayer! tell me more about it! or else! A: there will be local co-op only. how this will work is still being tested so i cant give any details on it just yet.  Q: I heard a rumor that you will be adding some thing to the game that i hate! why are you doing that! why are you breaking the game i love so much you asshole!? A: rumors are rumors till you hear them from me. im currently playing with a lot of ideas on ways to expand and improve isaac, some of them might not be appreciated by all but understand that i wouldnt ever do anything to ruin any aspect of the game and things will be heavily tested before anything becomes official.  Q :When will rebirth release? i want a fucking date! give me a date!!!! A: i have no idea other than sometime this year, its done when its done.  Q: Will you be adding day one DLC!? i feel like the game is already ending and i need moar!!!! tell me you will be making dlc!!!! A: NO! you have no idea how many times this is asked, the game isnt out yet. only assholes plan day one dlc that isnt included in the games release! i dont even plan dlc till a game comes out and i see what worked and what didnt. if rebirth does well and people want more, and i can dredge up more ideas..  then yes one day there will be more.. but dont ask till its out! Q: I heard you arent even working on rebirth! what the hell are you doing on it anyway!? A:i am very much so working on rebirth. im the lead designer of rebirth and have final cut, i approve/test every aspect of anything that goes into the game and nothing is final till i give the ok. i also sketch out enemies/bosses/items/item effects/etc out in flash for the artists to remake.  Q:Are you going to fix all those damn bugs?! you shit ass asshole! A:yes, most are already fixed! some of them i didnt know existed! chances are neither did you! Q:Will rebirth actually run well on my pc!? A: it wont be in flash, so yes it should run quite well. Q:Will you support daily runs or shared seeds so i can stream against other players online!? A: yes, this is a goal of ours.  Q:Will i be able to show off my isaac once i finish a game? A:yes, another goal of ours is an easy way to export an image of your final isaac form to share online! Q:What stage of development are you? A: beyond the half way point. id say 85% of the art is done and almost all the games old content has been remade in the new engine.  Q:How many people are working on rebirth? and is florian still working on it? A: 3 artist and 2-3 programmers i believe. one of them is spider, creator of spider mod. he knows the game inside and out and has been a great asset to development. florian isnt workin on the remake because he doesnt really program much outside of flash, but is on call for the programmers and gets weekly builds to help test. Q:Will rebirth feature new playable characters? A: yes it will feature more than 3 new playable characters! (that also means new unlocks for each final boss + new chapter(s)item unlocks for all characters) Q:Will rebirth feature more items, if so how many? A:there are currently over 150 new items, bumping the item count to far beyond 300! on top of that there will be loads of new tarot cards, trinkets, interactive objects, room types, secret areas, and basic item pickups.  Q:Will rebirth feature more endings and chapters? A: yes, yes it will.  now leave me alone! 

The surplus of hatred

Sometimes I marvel at the negativity in the world.

It is honestly perplexing to me. I don’t know what I expect when I click on the comments sections of other sites – when I make it policy to avoid doing exactly that sort of thing on our site for precisely this reason – but the sheer volume of hatred, bile and personal ill-will on display is remarkable. I am genuinely taken aback. Are there really people – much less members of communities that I like and participate in – who hate what we do for a living that much?

Apparently so.

I make the mistake, from time to time, of glancing down at the comments on Reddit, or YouTube, or wherever else resurfaces our content - and I see folks wishing death on me and my coworkers for daring to make jokes about dinosaurs and mummies. It’s amazing, baffling, insane, mind-blowing and absolutely not photoshopped.

What’s even more perplexing is that most of the complaints seem to stem from the readers who assume that Cracked is something we’re not: They perceive us as a site that believes we’re an authority on our subjects, and they grow infuriated that we are occasionally off-base. Now, that latter part of the argument I have no qualms with: I’ve always maintained that Cracked has a bit better correction record than your average newspaper (that claim is true, week over week. At least for my area; I’ve run the wholly anecdotal numbers), but we do make mistakes. However, I’ve also maintained that we are a comedy site who deals in information, rather than vice versa. Our source links aren’t there to prove we’re the authorities on any given subject; they’re there to give you, the reader, a starting point to learn. If we say the T-Rex might have had feathers (and oh god, do we ever say that), those little blue sections of text are not to be taken as irrefutable statements of fact – you can actually click on them, and delve into the subject on your own.

We only want to be your starting point. We want to introduce you to compelling new information on an entirely superficial level filled with dong jokes and farts, in order to make learning not feel as painful and dull as public schooling may have led you to believe. We won’t always paint you a complete picture, because a complete picture takes several thousand pages to paint, and these crippling modern attention spans have only given us two thousand words, at best.

The idea is that we’re in this together: I went to public school, like you, and like you, I’m a god damn idiot. My education was exactly as shitty as yours, and I’m sorry - but maybe together we can trick ourselves into learning a bit more. All we want to do is present a starting point for further education; a pathway concealed beneath a fine veneer of dick jokes. I know the people that write these articles. There are no faux-professors with leather-patched tweed jackets extolling at length about subjects for which they have no qualification; there are only ordinary folks in T-shirts and jeans looking at information and trying to show people that there’s fun to be had in learning it.

I guess I worry about this type of thing so much because I know that the human brain is trained to see criticism and automatically dismiss it. I worry that I see such hatred on display and my brain will automatically file it away as “not getting it” or “just jealous” or some other weak excuse, when maybe there’s a legitimate point to be gleaned. And I don’t want to do that. I want to see reality. I realize that all human beings will execute amazing mental gymnastics to avoid seeing the negative in ourselves - so I’ve been sitting and considering the validity of this kind of thing for days. And I just can’t find a way to understand it. Does it have a point? Does this seemingly unwarranted bile come from a legitimate source? I don’t know. I look, I see, and I understand that Cracked doesn’t always paint the complete picture – that we occasionally participate in comedic hyperbole, and that once in a while we misunderstand a source – but we do our best to correct it, and our intent and work ethic are always unquestionably positive. We’ve always set out to say “look at this cool thing! Maybe click the links and learn something - don’t just take our jackass word for it.” And I think that’s what we’ve always done.

I guess that maybe since we’ve hit it big, Cracked is seen as some sort of corporate evil, as compared to - I don’t know, blogs or YouTube channels. And I just want to find these naysayers (nay, they say, naaaayyy), and buy them a drink. I’d love to sit across from them and tell them: “There are ten people that work full time for Cracked. That’s it. That’s all we got. Those ten are the people you’re hating. I could tell you all of their names right now, and you could feasibly remember them. This here is Soren, this is Dan, this is Michael - they all spend 14 hours a day trying to make the world a very arbitrarily better place. Just a little bit, that’s all they want - and you just said you want to spit in their throats until they drown in it. We do this - and the folks that fund us do it – because they believe in what we’re trying to do. They see potential. You love sites like CollegeHumor, or FunnyOrDie, or the AVClub, and so do I; they’re great. But they have twenty times our budget and ten times our staff. Plus, they don’t set out to do the same things as us in the first place. Can’t there be room for everybody? Can’t the AVClub provide sober, in-depth analysis of your pop culture, and CollegeHumor runs some crazy infographics about Jagermeister, and FunnyOrDie debuts a hilarious video where Will Ferrell fights a manta ray to the death, and Cracked tells you that perhaps the way you’ve always pictured ancient Estonian sex rituals is significantly more blowing of the mind than you may have thought – and they’re all a net positive, leading you to be a slightly more well rounded person than you were coming into this morning?”

Why is there this impulse to pick teams in every aspect of our lives? Do we have to do Xbox vs. PS4? Do we have to do Conservative vs. Liberal? Do we have to do pick-up truck versus sedan, and gun-rights versus control, and gay marriage and legal marijuana and fucking everything else? Does every petty aspect of our lives have to be something this crazily divisive? Do we really need enemies that badly? I find enemies fucking tiring, myself. I’d rather have elaborate, multi-tiered systems of friends built on how often somebody buys me hooch. It just makes more sense. It takes so much less mental energy to just assume that everybody does their best, and wants to do right by you, and is grateful every day for the opportunity to maybe entertain you and possibly start you down the rough starter path toward learning a little something. Even if they’re not the best guides. Even if they drop the flashlight once in a while and stumble down the occasional ravine – you don’t have to hate anybody that isn’t actively punching you in the groin right now. You really don’t. I don’t know how else to phrase that: What does it take, in this day and age, to talk to an audience and not earn some sort of blood vendetta?

And then I realize that the soup I put in the microwave and forgot about twenty minutes ago is done, and so I put on A-Team re-runs on Netflix and try to bury my self-awareness in welding montages.

Haha, B.A. - they drugged your milk! That’s how they got you on that plane.

Goodnight. 

EDIT: Because there’s always an edit. 

The Binding of Isaac Rebirth 2014 Q&A!

Ok so first off im making this QA so the fans are informed, i get a constant barrage of emails, tumblr questions and tweets about rebirth, and these seem to be the most common questions.

im doing this for YOU so all i ask in return is to be sure to post this QA places so fans can read it, and if you ever see someone ask one of these, just direct them to this post please :)

now on to theQ&A!

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Q:Why are you making a remake already!!?? A: Waaay back when we made wrath of the lamb we had planned on another expansion around the size of wrath, but because of flash limitations not only was it not possible, most of our flas got so corrupted that it took days to export simple patches of the game.  i was contacted by Tyrone of Nicalis (Cave Story, VVVVVV, etc) about a super meat boy remake for non xbla consoles, and since i had hit a wall with isaac i suggested a remake and we were off!   Q:Why did you change the art style for rebirth!? (ps i hate it!) A: i have a few reasons for the change.. let me list them! 1. i didnt like the flash style, isaac was a big rush job and i did all the art in less than 2 months. i wasnt ever happy with it and hadnt planned on the game being so successful so i just got the job done so i could finish the game… aka the art was lazy and to me, just an eyesore. 2. i had always wanted isaac to be retro looking. the game was based on zelda and if i was any good at pixel sprites and had more time i would have done the whole game in a retro style. i had originally wanted to do more of an nes look, but after loads of testing and a few public opinion posts we decided on a gba (higher than 16bit) art style. 3. if i had to do all the art myself it would push mewgenics and rebirth back a ton. i didnt want to spread myself thin or half ass the art so i asked tyrone to put his best pixel artists on the job.  4. i like this style a lot more. Q: Ive seen pics and i hate the way the game looks! why are you such a foolish mongo!? A: the pics you have seen are still very early builds of the game, all the basic art is in place but non of the game’s new visual additions are at all in place. when its all said and done rebirth will feature a shit load of very pretty animated pixel effects, from fog, lighting, moving grass and torches to non enemy creatures that wander, crawl, fly and eventually get stepped on. there will also be tons of other little effects like interactive puddles, smoke, subtle quakes, drips,drops and moving foliage. so please hold your opinions till we finally release an official and final screen shot, and if you still hate it, i wont force you to buy the game :) Q:Is rebirth an expansion? and what will make it different than the old game? A: not only is rebirth a fully remodeled and revamped and greatly improved version of isaac + wrath of the lamb, but it will also feature so much content that the game will almost be doubled in terms of new enemies, items, characters, endings, secrets, rooms, chapters, challenges and a shit load of very new and unexpected additions.  Q:Will rebirth support my XYZ controller?! A: yes, rebirth features all the support that any normal non-flash game would feature. Q:Is rebirth still in flash!? A:NO! Q:Will rebirth be full screen and have resolution options that dont suck!? A: yes rebirth features all the support that any normal non-flash game would feature. Q:Are you taking preorders? and if i own isaac do i get a discount!?? A: not yet, but yes. when preorders start up, till its release we will be taking preorders and if you own isaac you will also get a very sizable loyalty discount. i cant say how much it will be just yet, but it should make owning the original very worth it.  Q:Are you doing early access?! A: hell no, rebirth is a game loaded with secrets and fun stuff i dont want anyone to see before anyone else. i also hate showing my wip games. Q:What platforms is rebirth coming out on?!! and why isnt it coming out on XYZ!!!! A: as of now, Steam, Ps4 and Vita.. but the rest arent out of the question. we would love to release on all systems, the ball is in their courts though. we miiiiight also test the game out on ipad and see how it works, if it works ok then we will also release there. Q:Why no Nintendo!!!! I FUCKING HATE YOU! A: we want to release on 3ds, and will if given the option. isaac currently goes against Nintendos publishing rules due to its religious aspects.. but stuff might change, you never know.    Q:Can i switch art styles back to the flash look?  A: of course not, rebirth will only feature one art style.  Q:Will the music for rebirth get the same overhaul that the graphics and gameplay did or are you just phoning it in!? A: we are for sure not phoning it in. rebirth will feature a fully updated score to go with the new lush environments that is sure to please.  Q:I hear there will be multiplayer! tell me more about it! or else! A: there will be local co-op only. how this will work is still being tested so i cant give any details on it just yet.  Q: I heard a rumor that you will be adding some thing to the game that i hate! why are you doing that! why are you breaking the game i love so much you asshole!? A: rumors are rumors till you hear them from me. im currently playing with a lot of ideas on ways to expand and improve isaac, some of them might not be appreciated by all but understand that i wouldnt ever do anything to ruin any aspect of the game and things will be heavily tested before anything becomes official.  Q :When will rebirth release? i want a fucking date! give me a date!!!! A: i have no idea other than sometime this year, its done when its done.  Q: Will you be adding day one DLC!? i feel like the game is already ending and i need moar!!!! tell me you will be making dlc!!!! A: NO! you have no idea how many times this is asked, the game isnt out yet. only assholes plan day one dlc that isnt included in the games release! i dont even plan dlc till a game comes out and i see what worked and what didnt. if rebirth does well and people want more, and i can dredge up more ideas..  then yes one day there will be more.. but dont ask till its out! Q: I heard you arent even working on rebirth! what the hell are you doing on it anyway!? A:i am very much so working on rebirth. im the lead designer of rebirth and have final cut, i approve/test every aspect of anything that goes into the game and nothing is final till i give the ok. i also sketch out enemies/bosses/items/item effects/etc out in flash for the artists to remake.  Q:Are you going to fix all those damn bugs?! you shit ass asshole! A:yes, most are already fixed! some of them i didnt know existed! chances are neither did you! Q:Will rebirth actually run well on my pc!? A: it wont be in flash, so yes it should run quite well. Q:Will you support daily runs or shared seeds so i can stream against other players online!? A: yes, this is a goal of ours.  Q:Will i be able to show off my isaac once i finish a game? A:yes, another goal of ours is an easy way to export an image of your final isaac form to share online! Q:What stage of development are you? A: beyond the half way point. id say 85% of the art is done and almost all the games old content has been remade in the new engine.  Q:How many people are working on rebirth? and is florian still working on it? A: 3 artist and 2-3 programmers i believe. one of them is spider, creator of spider mod. he knows the game inside and out and has been a great asset to development. florian isnt workin on the remake because he doesnt really program much outside of flash, but is on call for the programmers and gets weekly builds to help test. Q:Will rebirth feature new playable characters? A: yes it will feature more than 3 new playable characters! (that also means new unlocks for each final boss + new chapter(s)item unlocks for all characters) Q:Will rebirth feature more items, if so how many? A:there are currently over 150 new items, bumping the item count to far beyond 300! on top of that there will be loads of new tarot cards, trinkets, interactive objects, room types, secret areas, and basic item pickups.  Q:Will rebirth feature more endings and chapters? A: yes, yes it will.  now leave me alone! 

lucineblue  asked:

I really don't want to be famous myself, but man I wouldn't mind the financial stability that can come with having fame sometimes. Just get some cash, put it in savings/investments, be able to afford mental health help while still doing other things I enjoy, be able to buy a cat or two, afford a PS4, help support my friends when they need money/help...

There are lots of better ways to get rich than being famous. In fact, many people I consider famous are not financially stable. I was surprised to discover this but, like, people who have recurring roles on TV shows often make good money, but not nearly as much as, like, an investment banker. And they also have very little job security…after the show is over (which often happens after just one year), they’ve got to find another job. And maybe they won’t be able to, so it’s very important that they save while they have money coming in.