I've tried to keep following you since you decided to identify as a guy again, but I just can't anymore. I liked and still do like many aspects of your personality, but I've been a fan of so many LGBTQA people who have later decided they were cis and/or straight. I know it isn't, but every time it happens I just feel betrayed because I've lost someone I can look up to that's like me.
I understand what you’re saying and I won’t judge you or be mad at you for leaving, but I would like to say:
1) I never said I was cis
2) While I understand where you’re coming from and I’m glad that you’re being open about your feelings and wanting to discuss them or at least have them be known… I really don’t think this is fair to me at all. Like… you know how badly I wish I could just continue with the way things were before and save people a lot of pain over potentially losing representation that mattered to them? This was the one thing I worried so much about ever since the beginning and it just eats at me when I think about it. Throughout this whole thing I’ve done nothing but try and reinforce and state over and over again the idea that just because I am one way, it doesn’t mean you are any less valid or deserving of respect or representation. I’ve tried so hard to not make this kind of thing a big deal cause it’s like… this is my journey yknow? I don’t speak for anyone else when I say that I felt one way and then one day felt the other. That’s no one else’s cross to bear but mine.
Why should I have to feel guilty about being true to myself, regardless of who “myself” is at any given time. I don’t want to put myself in a box like that. It’s suffocating, and it always was, both when I was a girl and when I’m a guy.
But yet when I see stuff like this all it does is just eat me up and make me feel like garbage cause of this thing I couldn’t control.
And I’m really sorry. I know that I’m kinda being shitty by turning your own pain into a way for me to vent my own shit, but this is honestly the result of weeks now of this kind of fear building and building.
If you’re only willing to follow me because I fit a mold or I fit your own expectations, that’s your decision, and like I said, I won’t judge you, and honestly I don’t blame you. Representation is important. I’m really genuinely sorry I took that away from you. I’m sorry.