do i have pants on or not

anonymous asked:

I've read everything I could about accidental space pirate Obi-Wan and it's awesome but there is just something I don't understand . Is he married to Satine And seducing Vader?

Hello Nony! How’s your Sunday going? Good I hope! :D Lily and I are going to get donuts soon!

Nony, Auntie Fishy is a firm believer in multiverses. What is a multiverse, you ask? A multiverse is essentially a collection of universes bound together by complicated physics that I don’t understand but saw on a tv show once and thought it sounded really cool. All of the universes are related in someway and they all run parallel to each other, never quite touching but still connected. For example, all of my fics and @writegowrite‘s fics could be considered a shared multiverse. We share planets, songs, buildings and make references to each other’s fics in our own every now and then.

I like to think that Accidental Space Pirate Obi-Wan is its own little multiverse. That way everybody can have what they want and feel like they are a part of this great and wonderful collaborative AU.

If you want Satine to have survived Maul and the Mandalorian Civil War then you can have all the glorious Obitine you could ever want! Celebrate that ducal marriage! Oya!

If you want some deeply tragic, mostly-based-on-canon Vaderwan, you go get you some! And take some kleenex with you. And send it to me! I mean, yes, very sad. Super tragic. Where was I?

If you wanted Padme to live (LIVE DAMN YOU!) and escape to roam the Outer Rim as a Pirate Queen in her own right and you want a kind of fractured (but still working) Anidala or ObiAniDala, GO FOR IT!

Or if you just want the hysterical Nonsense Verse where all of this exists all at the same time, and somehow Hondo Ohnaka is officiating some kind of bizarre four-way wedding, you sign yourself up for that cracky delivery system!

I know I’ve written a few things for Accidental Space Pirate Obi-Wan but it’s not really MY story. I feel that it’s OUR story. Anybody, ANYBODY, is welcome to write, or draw, or craft songs and poems in the happy little multiverse of Illegally Swooshy Hair and Excessive Flirting.

I’m sorry I didn’t give you a definitive answer, Nony, but I don’t really feel like it’s my place to tell other people how to have fun in this sandbox. I know what I like and what I like to share with others but what’s really great about this whole AU is that anybody can join in.

So, basically what I’m saying is, who knows who you’ll find on the Lucky Duchess? You might just find the ship’s namesake and you might just find the terrifying right hand of the Emperor, surprisingly unburnt and not brutally chopped into pieces, reading a story to Bail Organa’s adopted daughter and the adopted son of some moisture farmers from Tatooine! Who knows?
Bodega Roses

Lower East Side at midnight
his place
filled with lingering
wafts of 3 pm spliffs
and empty bottles
of cheap scotch,
I can never remember
the brand.
It made him feel like
James Bond
or Hemingway
when he drank it.
I didn’t want to
make him feel bad.
Bodega roses
of red and yellow
just for me,
in an old vase
on the kitchen table,
a patched crack
runs down the middle
of the glass.
I run my finger along it,
waiting for it
to pierce my skin,
but it never does.
He never takes his time
before his hands are
running up my legs
and under my skirt,
feeling his way inside,
before he lifts me
and sets me
on the table,
along side the flowers.
My eyes make contact
with their vibrant petals
as my pants
are pushed
to the side.
We have sex because
it’s what people
like us do.
My eyes close
and my mind wanders
to the painting of Ophelia
I saw at the
Tate Britain
a lifetime ago,
and the man who
wept
for her absence.
The bodega roses
come back into focus,
instead of his face.
We don’t make
eye contact
when he fucks me
anymore.
They are facing him,
even though I’m facing
them.
Because the truth is,
only one of us blooms for him.

Original Work: Kelsey H. 3.26.17

Leap Of Faith - Eighteen

Spencer had been driving for about forty minutes, not checking the map since he had gotten into the car, or using the satnav that had come in the hire car.

“How are you doing that? You said you’ve never been here before yet you know the way?” Seph asked him.

The way to where though, was something he still hadn’t said. The only thing he thing he had mentioned, was that Seph needed to wear pants, rather than a dress or skirt.

“I have an eidetic memory. I read the directions before we left and checked the map. I don’t need to recheck it.”

“Eidetic memory? Like… Total recall? You remember everything you see? That must be handy for those nights you spent with Hollywood’s top television actress.”

Spencer guffawed and signalled to turn off the main road they were on, starting to wind upwards.

“Not quite everything. It works mainly with text rather than actual images. I can do it with some conversations too but it depends on how much I’ve been paying attention. But it’s useful. Especially in my job.”

“I’ll bet.”

Around five minutes later Seph spotted an attraction sign. “Bridge To Nowhere.” Spencer signalled again and pulled onto the track.

“Is that where we’re going?”

“Yup.”

“The Bridge To Nowhere. Sounds kinda poetic, don’t you think?”

He didn’t answer and a few yards later pulled into a parking lot.

Looking around she spotted signs: ‘Bungee America.’

“You’re shitting me. You booked a bungee jump for me?”

He grinned at her, “For us actually.”

“You’re doing one too? Are we doing a tandem one?”

“No. This specific company won’t allow tandem jumpers for first timers. You’re jumping first and then me.”

“Fuck!”

He laughed again, parking the car and getting out.

Seph slid out a few moments later, legs feeling slightly unsteady. She looked around, but couldn’t see a jump platform anywhere, only a large building and other cars.

Spencer placed his hand on the small of her back and nudged her forward towards the building.

“Are we really doing this?”

“Hey, it’s your list.”

He was right, it was. Something she’d wanted to try for years, either this or skydiving. Just to experience the moment of free fall before being caught and lowered to safety.

They entered the building and Spencer walked over to the checkout desk where a girl in khaki shorts and a shirt bearing the company logo was sat.

“Hi. We’ve got two jumps book for 10am, under the name Reid.”

The girl checked her computer and grabbed a few forms, placing them on the counter in front of her.

“Are you both first timers jumpers?”

They both nodded.

“Excellent. I just need you to sign these forms for me and then one of our jump masters will take you through and start getting you sorted. There’s two jumps happening now and then it’s your turns. We’re not very busy today, so you won’t have much of audience I’m afraid.”

“That’s good. I don’t think I can handle a bunch of strangers hearing me scream.”

“Some people like the audience. Seeing people watching them gives them a sense of pride. They’re less likely to back out if they think there’s people watching.”

Seph scanned through the release form quickly, just the standard ‘I promise not to drag the company through the nine circles of lawyer hell if anything goes wrong.’ She squiggled her signature at the bottom, sliding it back across the counter. The girl called into the office behind her.

“Jack, your ten o clock jumps are here.”

A tall, sturdy looking blonde man strolled out of the office. He was taller than Spencer by at least two inches and had biceps that looked like they might rip open the sleeves of his shirt.

“Hey guys, welcome to Bungee America, The Bridge To Nowhere. I’m Jack and I’ll be your jump master today. I’ll talk you though everything and take you out to the platform.” He looked at them both expectantly.

“Seph.”

“Spencer.”

“Okay! Seph and Spencer, do you wanna follow me through and we’ll get you both weighed up. You should be able to see the jumps going ahead now from the kit room.”

He led the pair down a small passage way and into a room with floor to ceiling windows on one wall. The other walls were lined with harnesses, ropes and weights.

Jack gently nudged Seph over to a set of scales, the display turned so that only he could see the read out.

“Okay, Seph you’re jumping first right. Hop on up here so we can check what harness you need and see what length we need to set the ropes at.”

She climbed onto the scales, finally seeing the view outside.

The attraction was set on what looked like a gorge, a large bridge connecting between the two sides. In the middle of the bridge there was a large platform where she could make out a small blonde girl with a guy stood next to her. Thirty seconds later and the girl jumped, almost diving off the platform head first with her arms outstretched. Seph watched as the long thick cord followed her down. Down, down, down, before eventually catching her and pulling taut.

Persephone couldn’t tell whether there was water below or not but when the girl rebounded, she looked dry. She rebounded a few times until Seph could no longer see her and the rope hung straight, swaying.

“Fucking hell,” she muttered, her eyes wide.

“You’ll enjoy it Seph, trust me. Once you get up there and jump the adrenaline rush you feel is so powerful. It’s completely safe, we’ve been doing this here for fifteen years and we’ve not had any accidents.”

“First time for everything.”

“Actually the most common reported injury associated with bungee jumping is related to eyesight. It comes from the abrupt rise in upper body intravascular pressure during the bungee cord recoil,” Spencer said, watching the rope being pulled back up the bridge.

“Not helping Spencer Reid.”

“You don’t have to do this, Persephone. But it was on your list. Here’s your adventure.”

“List? A bucket list type thing,” Jack asked, recording her weight down on two different pieces of paper and selecting a harness off the wall. “You can climb off the scales by the way. I’ve got your measurements.”

“Kind of yes. Is there water down below?”

“Yes. But we won’t let you hit the water. Some companies used to, but most have stopped. The impact of your head against the water can be problematic. But essentially, if anything were to happen then you’d fall into the water rather than onto a concrete surface. The measurement we’ve just taken lets us know how much rope we can use based on your weight. When bungee jumping first came around, jump masters had to change the ropes for varying weights. Now we have a machine the holds the excess rope and either feeds it out or holds it back, depending on height and weight. The less permanent jumps still have to change bungees if they have jumpers of very different height and weight classes.”

Seph could see the men on the bridge kneeling down and fiddling with machinery as the girl’s male companion inched along the bridge ready to be harnessed.

“Spencer, hop on the scales man. Let’s get you sorted.”

Jack wrote out his measurements too, selecting a hardness of a different colour.

“Now. It’s up to you if want to wear helmets or not. You don’t need them, it’s the same with, or without. But some people feel extra safe with them. Even though it wouldn’t make the slightest bit of difference if anything were to happen. But it won’t. Like I said, no accidents in fifteen years since we opened.”

Seph looked at Spencer to see if he’d choose one. He was smart, he’d know whether they’d make any difference. He didn’t take one, so neither did she.

“Awesome. Okay, so the dude on the bridge is ready to go and then it’s your turns. Shall we go out, you’ll be able to see the bounce better.”

She looked at Spencer apprehensively. Yes this had been something she’d wanted to do, but she’d been fifteen when you wanted to do it. At 29 and actually here, she was suddenly feeling a whole lot different about it.

Spencer held his hand out to her and she took it, following him and Jack out. Jack led them up a small path to the end of the bridge. Looking down, Seph could see the water below as well as a small boat, manned by two people. There was a viewing platform down below where the girl who’d previously jumped, was now sat along with around eight other people.

“Have they all had a go too?” she asked.

“Nope, only three of them. Lots of people just come out to watch. It’s a big thing. When you’ve stopped bouncing, Sal and James down there will come out and collect you. They’ll do it as quickly as they can so you’re not suspended upside down for too long. There’s a cafe down there too, quite often people need a sugary drink or something to eat afterwards. Jumping can take its toll on your body. Okay watch. The boy’s about to go.”

Seph looked over to where the man was stood on the edge of the platform, gripping the two railings on either side. The jump master was stood a few steps back from him and the crowd below were shouting encouragement. After a minute, he leaned forward and fell, letting out at loud yell as he dropped.

Persephone could see the full extent of the drop here, his head stopping a few metres above the water when he stopped recoiling. Once he’d stopped bouncing, the two people in the boat started out to fetch him.

“I’m gonna go trade with Olly okay, and then me and Andy, he’s the other guy on the bridge, will set your ropes up. We try to be with each jumper from the start so it makes it easier. Take a few minutes and then cross the bridge and we’ll hardness you up. Spencer, you need to stay behind the gate okay. We only have one jumper at a time on the bridge.”

Jack gave them both a grin and then set off, taking his papers and harnesses with him, one of the other men high fiving him, before making his way across the bridge, grinning as he passed you.

“Kinda ironic don’t you think?” Seph commented to Spencer.

“That I’m trying to stop you jumping off a bridge by getting you to actually jump off one? Definitely. You ready?”

“I think so.”

“Okay. I’ll see you at the bottom.”

She turned suddenly, embracing him in a hug and kissing his cheek.

“See you at the bottom Spencer Reid.”

She pulled away and started making her way across to Jack, looking down at the water below and the group of people watching. Some of them waved and she waved back shyly.

“We’re all set up and ready for you Seph. Let get the ankle harness on you.”

He knelt down in front of her, slipping her ankles into the bindings one by and securing them, before attaching the harness to the bungee cord. A few more checks and adjustments later and he stood.

“Okay, you’ll be able to walk so I’m gonna slowly follow you out on to the platform. Hold onto the railings. I’ll be holding your shoulders whilst Andy makes the final adjustments. When I let go of you, you’re good to jump. Take as much time as you need. When you jump, spread your arms wide like a Swan dive and lean forward. It’s better than just stepping off the edge. You’ll feel around five seconds of free fall before the bungee catches and then a sharp yank on the recoil. Try to keep your neck as still as possible okay. When you’ve stopped, Sal and Jim will get you. And then you can watch your boyfriend have his go.”

Seph didn’t bother to correct him, she just nodded feeling Jack give her a gentle push. She started to walk out onto the platform, gripping the railings as she went, her movements restricted by the harness. Jack’s hands remained on her shoulders, as she stood at the edge. Moments later Seph heard a voice call out “good to go” and Jack’s hands released her.

“Swan dive, remember Seph. It’s your show now, whenever you’re ready.” He stepped back.

Persephone looked down at the water below, remembering the last time she was in this position. She was much, much higher this time. She saw the people below looking up, encouragement coming from them. They didn’t know her, but their voices were friendly, telling her that she could do this.

She glanced left, searching for Spencer at the end of the bridge. He was stood watching intently, a smile on his face. He gave her a thumbs up.

Okay. Seph, you can do this.

It seemed a lot scarier knowing she was going to be caught though than when she knew she wasn’t.

Seph inched forward and leaned over the edge.

And then she let go, throwing her arms out wide.

The surge she felt as she free fell was like nothing she’d every felt before, the air pushing against her body as she rushed towards the water, a tiny voice inside asking ‘what if’. And then the sudden pull and the bounce.

And then she was grinning and laughing, seeing the people on the ground clapping, and trying to catch sight of Spencer as the world rushed past.

She’d done it.

And it had felt awesome.

She recoiled a few times, each time rebounding less and less until she could see a boat approaching her on the water.

“Hi! Congratulations, you did it!” A cheerful brunette greeted Seph as she steadied the boat, her companion gripping Seph’s waist and tugging on the rope so that she was moved into a seated position on the floor of the vessel.

A few moments later and the cord was free and snaking it’s way back to the top.

“How do you feel.”

“Light headed, but amazing!” she managed to breathe out, searching for Spencer as the boat made it’s way back to the shore.

“First time?”

She nodded.

“His first time time too?”

“Yep.”

“Haha, brilliant.”

Seph had been so intent on watching Spencer walking across the the bridge, that she hadn’t felt James removing the harness from her ankles. When she got back to the boat dock, he climbed out and led her over to a bench, dropping the harness into a wire crate.

“You’ve got a great spot here. Sit and watch and we’ll go fetch him for you when he’s done.”

“Thank you.”

Seph looked up, squinting slightly in the low autumn sun and seeing that Spencer was now on the platform, Jack’s hands on his shoulders.

She was too far away to see the look on his face, to see whether he was shaking or not. Almost as soon as Jack stepped back, he released the railings and jumped.

And Seph watched as her new friend, the person who’d become so important to in the space of just over a week, fell.

theimpossiblescheme  asked:

Are there any voice actors who more or less do the same voice over and over again that you're still entertained by? Like, I can always pick Tim Curry out of a cast, and he's a ton of fun every time.

Oh, I have a few of those! Some people I just never get tired of listening to:

Keith David - Be it Admiral Anderson or Dr. Facilier, I could listen to Keith David all day. A voice that goes RIGHT TO YOUR PANTS!


Patrick Warburton - I just love his delivery - the incredibly calm, cool, and collected way he speaks is always a delight.


Kristen Schaal - I know she’s the same in everything, but she still puts an AMAZING amount of effort into the work. Her scream as the Bride of Gingy? LOVE IT.


H. Jon Benjamin - I know Bob and Archer sound almost identical, same as the can of vegetables in Wet Hot American Summer, but the voice itself is so unlike others I’ve heard before that it gets a pass. It’s also REALLY hard to replicate, so kudos to him.

Runners up include: Tim Curry, Brian Blessed, and Tress MacNeille.

anonymous asked:

I'm a trans guy with wide hips, and I was wondering what's the best way to go about finding pants/jeans that wouldn't look so awkward on me. And if there's a good way to make hips look not so wide. Thanks

Hey man, so there are some things that are like binders for your hips- compression shorts. Those might help you, I don’t know how well they work so any followers have any information?

Cargo shorts and board shorts, if it’s warm where you live, do wonders to minimize hips. It’s almost incredible, actually. 

Always wear clothes that fit, test and try different cuts and styles until you find something that works best for you, some might pray up and down that straight legged jeans are the one and only cure, others might disagree. 

Weight loss and T can also help with this stuff, if you’re looking for a permanent fix like that. Anyone else have any tips?

Bodega Roses

Lower East Side at midnight
his place
filled with lingering
wafts of 3 pm spliffs
and empty bottles
of cheap scotch,
I can never remember
the brand.
It made him feel like
James Bond
or Hemingway
when he drank it.
I didn’t want to
make him feel bad.
Bodega roses
of red and yellow
just for me,
in an old vase
on the kitchen table,
a patched crack
runs down the middle
of the glass.
I run my finger along it,
waiting for it
to pierce my skin,
but it never does.
He never takes his time
before his hands are
running up my legs
and under my skirt,
feeling his way inside,
before he lifts me
and sets me
on the table,
along side the flowers.
My eyes make contact
with their vibrant petals
as my pants
are pushed
to the side.
We have sex because
it’s what people
like us do.
My eyes close
and my mind wanders
to the painting of Ophelia
I saw at the
Tate Britain
a lifetime ago,
and the man who
wept
for her absence.
The bodega roses
come back into focus,
instead of his face.
We don’t make
eye contact
when he fucks me
anymore.
They are facing him,
even though I’m facing
them.
Because the truth is,
only one of us blooms for him.

Original Work: Kelsey H. 3.26.17

anonymous asked:

i love ur art and ocs! but can u please not tag things as 'trap' anymore? its a fetishistic / offensive term to trans people meaning whats in their pants isn't what you thought it would be - thus you're in a 'trap'. Sorry if this bothers you a lot of people don't know about it and I thought I'd let you know !! Have a good day uvu

I perfectly understand and am aware of what you’re saying in terms of trans people. I would never tag any of my trans characters as trap, but I was actually unsure about something.

I notice that trap is a tricky word because some people find it offensive. However, others use it freely and even use it to identify themselves. (And these people are not always trans.) I notice that some people actually prefer to be called a trap, because they in particular like to dress up with the intention of tricking people. (And Bambi; the only character who i really give this tag falls into this catagory.) 

I can understand why the word trap wouldn’t be used for trans people… that’s just wrong. But is it still an issue if it’s a character’s or someone’s main intention, and the individual isn’t trans? This has probably been in debate before. I’ll save myself the trouble and stop using it but I did want to hear thoughts.

anonymous asked:

I just had a mental image of Stanley in the living room reading a magazine or something then he randomly hears music start playing and Lefou comes in from the kitchen and starts dancing really badly but Stan loves it and they get up and start dancing really embarrassingly but it's okay bc it's just them and they're comfortable together and they do twirls and stuff with each other and generally have fun and forget every bad thing in the world because this right here is what matters (there's more)

(Part 2) And then they’re sweaty and panting and laughing but the next song comes on and it’s a slow song by Stanley’s favourite artist (ask Lefou and he will say it came on shuffle but he actually queued it and is too embarrassed to admit it) and Lefou acts all flustered and Stan hold out his hand and they slow dance and it’s the cutest thing ever


Bye I’m fucking dead. I literally have nothing else to add because this is so perfect and I am dead.

Tagged by @ask-themaraudersmap and a few others

Nicknames: EG (and my family calls me Em or Emmy)

Zodiac: Taurus

Height: 6’

Last thing i googled: Ginny Weasley for research

Song stuck in my head: Anybody Have a Map from Dear Evan Hansen

Last movie i watched: Moana

What am i wearing right now: black loose long sleeve shirt and Ravenclaw pajama pants

What do i post: Harry Potter and RP things (+some personal or funny/important things)

Why did i choose my url: please see my FAQ *finger guns*

Religious or spiritual: Religious

Fave color: …I’m not sure right now actually

Avg hours of sleep: MY DAMN BODY KEEPS WAKING ME UP AFTER 4.5 RIGHT NOW. But it’s normally eight

Lucky number: 3

Favorite character: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

How many blankets i sleep with: two

Dream job: actor/costume designer

3.25.2017

March Study Challenge - favorite study youtube channel

Sorry for not posting the last few days! I’ve had a lot of work to do so I just needed to take a break from posting so I could work uninterrupted and knock some stuff out! 👊

My favorite study youtuber is definitely Ana Mascara. Her tips have really helped me, and I find that she offers a lot of unique advice, and isn’t one of those channels that repeats the same five study tips over and over. I also recently found TheStrive Studies, and I like watching her study vlogs when I don’t feel motivated to study, because watching someone work while you procrastinate is a serious kick in the pants to get to work xD

anonymous asked:

do you have any tips for looking less feminine from the waist down? is it a type of pants you buy? your body type looks so curvy in your female cosplays and so masculine in your male ones! i did my first male cosplay recently and while the makeup and binding looked alright, my butt and my thighs still looked so womanly in every pic ;o;

Control top tights or compression pants!

2016 memes

2016 memes

January:
•bad new year jokes
•if a dog wore pants would he wear them like this or this
•all these suggestion blogs
•orange soda please
i’ll have the strawberry soda
me too, the strawberry soda
•You fucked up a perfectly good x is what you did. Look at them. They got anxiety.
•kylo ren is shredded
•Jared Leto: *does something*
Director: oh my God…it’s like…is he Jared…or Joker right now?????
•tag yourself
•super mario 64 half a press
•this is x. be like x

February:
•the finebros suing something
•secret government agent: *punches me in the face* SAY IT
me: never
secret government agent: x
me: *spits blood in their face* fUCK YOU
•bernie or hillary things that have a ridicilous issue and even funnier answers
•jean something, jomething
•damn daniel
•ted cruz is the zodiac killer

March:
•the dad from kuzco being like 👌
•kazoo kid
•everyone who watched zootopia is a furry
•history of japan
•x or y? *insert similiar pictures here, like donald trump and raw chicken*
•get you a man that can do both
•going to papaw’s house for burgers
•no oscar meme is dead meme
•we dem boyz
•i’m you but stronger

April:
•marge simpson
•different variations of the hs panel where jade picks up the note
•tumblr’s lizard voting
•everyone’s a dirty homestuck
•lot of those powerpuff selves
•baby stevens
•ruining someone’s dream journal
•there’s no way out of it you’ll just have to decapitate me
•autocorrect in verbal conversation
person1: i love you
person1: *hate
person2: this is a verbal conversation
•WHAT WE REALLY AREEE
•don’t talk to me or my son ever again
•dark x show me y

May:
•dan backslide (and dover boys)
•dat boi
•stone age spongebob

June:
•are you x or y person? (tag yourself meme in text format)
•get a man who can do both is getting more popular again
•it’s june where the fuck are halloween memes???

July:
•america memes
•IT’S HALLOWEEN
•the vacuum cleaner playing a harmonica
•associating characters/songs/etc. with spongebob screenshots
•this👏emoji👏after👏every👏word
•(any videogame) go, go outside and x
•a picture of something with text, and more pictures after that, in every one of the pictures the picture starts getting waaay worse, but the text gets really detailed
•HANDSY👏CLAPSY👏IS👏A👏NEW👏TROLLSONA👏
•judge: how do you plead?
x: *looks at y*
y: *mouths ‘not guilty’*
x: hot milky
y: jc just lock them up
•hitting the blue button

August:
•arthur screenshot where his hand is a fist
•9-1-1 for kids
•Exeggutor
•harambe
•RANDY YOUR STICKS
•sausage party
•how (character) are you feeling today? *numbers from 1 to ten with silly pictures of the character*
•alola form

September:
•the thing with voltron fandom where there’s train tracks and “death in season 2” and two characters and u have to choose which one to kill
•someone: a basic word
me, an intellectual: that word said with synonyms to make it sound weird
•gonna prank dad when he gets home ((he never gets home))
•[song] but it keeps getting faster

October:
•userboxes
•the presidental debate, i can’t believe that there still are people who want to vote trump after that, yikes
•dedede
•you vs the guy she told you not to worry about
•photofunia retrowave
•picture of someone with those math things
•my longest yeah boy ever
•taking a picture of something that requiers two hands in a bathroom
•posting ur favourite vines

November:
•christmas stuff
•dick: out
•sir, you’ve been in coma
•kermit with a hood on his head
•blurred image that says perfection, after that an image where glasses are being cleaned, and then something u like
•WE ARE NUMBER ONE

December:
•BODE
• *picture of really basic or bad food with text that’s spelled wrong and the phrase “bon appetit” is spelled even more wrong"
•*dropping something, and it spells send nudes*
•x but every time y happens it gets faster
*bee movie but every time they say bee it gets faster
•several spongebob memes
•i described the meme about bad pictures with detailed text in july, it’s wildly popular now
•dramatic youtubers

apparently i missed a few things so, additions:
•steven’s knife
•joe biden
•aux chord
•dabbing
•a lot of spongebob memes, like the blurry mister crabs
•nebby get in the bag
•clowns
•harambe happened earlier than it says on the list
•several stranger things memes
•we die like men

I worked at a craft store the summer before college.  Here are my best (and the best of the worst) moments:

- A man bought 190 mason jars with lids.  I asked him if this was for a wedding, or if he was making jam.  He was doing neither.  He did not have plans for mason jars.  He just thought they were a really good sale.

- A woman bought her brother and his fiance a giant rainbow bow for their wedding present.  She whispered that they had been married before, but that the fiance had dressed as a woman and they wanted to make it real now that it was legal.  She shouted that rainbows are gay.  Her style is unusual.

- A little girl left finger-painted handprints on the inside of the back pockets of the pants I was wearing.  It was the most terrible case of “mistaken mother” I have ever experienced.

- A little girl came in looking for SWAPS for Girl Scout camp (pins you trade with other scouts at camp).  She asked me if I could help her even though I am too old to be a Girl Scout.  I showed her my lifetime membership card and the SWAPS on my keyring.  She told me I am her best friend, and came back two weeks later with a SWAP she had saved for me from camp.

- A woman came through with wedding supplies for her granddaughter and a very nervous outlook on the price.  I asked her what my name was, pretending to forget about my nametag, and when she got it right, pronounced her my good friend and gave her my friends-and-family discount.  She cried.  I might have too.

- A father bought his little boy a doll set.  The boy told me that the last set had been for his friend, but he had liked it much more than she did, so he was getting his own.  His baby sister was chewing on a monster truck.  I liked this family.

- I became known as the cashier who would give you the discounts under my register if you were nice.  The little old ladies who came in every yarn sale loved me.  My coupons and I were their heroes.

- The substitute teacher who had bullied me came through my line and smugly told me that her total was wrong.  I smiled politely and informed her that I had already given her the educator’s discount, but would happily take it off.  She was much less smug after that, as her daughter laughed her out of the store.

- A large woman with a 5 o'clock shadow came through my line.  I told her I liked her skirt.  She responded with the biggest smile I have ever seen.

- And finally, my favorite one:  a nine-year-old girl came up to my register with a stack of t-shirts and told me she had folded them for me, but could not reach where they belonged.  I told her most people would have left them on the floor.  She informed me that I was the cashier who helped her Girl Scout troop mate, and I quote:  "dang it, you do good things for good people!  I want to be a good people like you!“  and skipped out the door, before remembering her mother was still shopping and skipping right back in.

Sometimes, I love retail.

I know we’re all very fond of oblivious heartbreaker Yuuri, but can we consider a situation where no-one has ever expressed interest in Yuuri before because they all think he’s out of their league?

Like:

“What? Talk to Katsuki Yuuri? So he can reject me and I can die of embarrassment, no thanks?”

“Is that Katsuki Yuuri coming our way? Dude, let’s take the long way please, I AM NOT FIT TO WALK IN THE SAME CORRIDOR.”

“Today Katsuki Yuuri smiled at me, and I ran away screeching because HOLY SHIT.”

“Oh my god Katsuki Yuuri is in our class???? How can we avoid being noticed ohmygod I AM SO NERVOUS?”

“What do you mean he’ll like me? HAVE YOU SEEN HIM? He’s a national figure skating champion and I barely managed to put on pants today.”

One time Sehun and I were shopping for clothes in Hong Kong and I saw a pair of khakis for sale. So I thought ‘hm, they’re on sale so I should buy it right now right’ and so I did. I go to another aisle I see more khaki pants but the sign this time says “Buy three, get one free’ so I go and buy that one as well. So now I have about five khaki pants which I thought was a great idea cause I can wear one on monday, one on tuesday, one on wednesday, one on thursday and one on friday. It’s like I’ll never run out of khakis.
—  Do Kyungsoo interview (full interview click here)