do i even put a close up on this one

one reason i put the fact that i’m adhd in my bio is that i want to be clear that my putting two ideas close to each other in no way means those things are related and if you assume that my writing tags about dinner on a picture of flowers means anything more than that i got hungry in the middle of a reblog you’re going to end up reading too much into a whole helluva lot

The Thunder- Joe Sugg

     A shiver runs down my spine as I listen to another roar of thunder. Beautiful, I think to myself. I’ve always been told different things about thunder. My grandmother told me a long time ago that it’s the sound of the devil whipping his wife, and in church they told me it was God beating the devil. Either way, it always had to do with the devil. Maybe that explains why most people flinch or scream when they hear thunder, or maybe because it’s just loud. 

     I hear the door of my apartment slam close. The sound is even louder than the thunder. To my knowledge, I only know of one person who has a key to my flat. I get up and slowly walk towards my living room, and of course, I see Joe lying across my couch. 

      “Hi,” I greeted as I sat by him on the couch. He looked up, but then he slowly put his head back down. Joe hated storms. I’ve always loved them. Even when we were kids, he would come running over to my house so I could comfort him. He doesn’t do it as much anymore, but he stops by about every few storms, and in England, there are many of them. 

     I giggle softly as I run my fingers through his hair. “When will you ever get over your fear of storms? What if you we’re by yourself? You’d have to get through it somehow.”

     He didn’t answer. Instead, he moved and positioned himself so that he was propped up on the couch. He opened his arms, beckoning me over. I smiled to myself as I crawled over to sit in his lap. It’s made me sort of feel like a child on Santa’s knee. He wrapped his arms around me and tucked his chin into the crook of my neck. He hummed softly, being the second thing to send a chill down my spine. 

     We kept listening to the storm, and when it would thunder, he would jump slightly. I would listen, and just enjoy the moment. About forty to forty-five minutes later, the storm had stopped. I had assumed that Joe had fallen asleep. I slowly tried to pull his arms off, only for them to tighten around me. I turned my head to look at him. I smiled brightly at his messy hair and tired look. The storm must have really kept him up for him to look this bad. 

     I leaned in and kissed him softly. As I pulled back I could hear him quietly say, “I’m so glad I can do that.”

     “Me, too,” I said back surprising him. I guess he didn’t think I could hear him. “And hey, look at that,” I said sarcastically, “the storm stopped, and we’re fine.”

     “I’m only fine when I’m with you.”

     I laughed at his cheesiness, and suddenly there was another roar of thunder. Joe jumped and then groaned as he realized this storm is far from over.

     This is going to be a very cuddly, non-sleeping night, but that doesn’t mean I’m not going to enjoy it.

I have always said that while Erin might seem more closed off at first glance, Jay is actually the one struggling to let down his guard more. Yes she has a lot of trust issues but she has opened up to him multiple times, even back at her high school reunion. She still puts the walls up sometimes but she has been working towards letting him in more and more and it has shown a lot this season. So it’s so interesting and exciting to me that now they get to the point where she likely is frustrated with him for not sharing. He is confident and can be flirty and fun but behind that there are a lot of demons he has struggled to keep bottled up. He may seem like the one to offer more at times but in terms of sharing, he has been hiding behind this facade.
Can you tell how excited I am to see this story?

I just closed up. I was so used to being open with you that I didn’t even realize I was shutting you out, that for once it wasn’t just you doing it to me. But I was also used to being hurt by you every time I did let you in; maybe not immediately, or even after a few days, but eventually you just put up your walls again and I got tired of being the only one willing to bare my soul and take a risk on something that I believed in. But I think the sad thing is that even though I realize all of this, even though I know exactly how this is going to end, I’m going to keep trying because I still believe in it; and for that I can only blame myself.
—  6:32 p.m.

“Oh man, it’s even got a cool name!”

I admit, I’m kinda proud of this one. I had to put everything I’ve learned in the past few months into practice here. Doing lighting and shading with several up-close light sources is tricky.

That being said, I’m probably going to slow down with all the drawings as I have college exams coming up. I still might do a doodle or two though.

EDIT: Bah, who am I kiddin’. Drawing has gotten too addicting for me, plus I’m not going to study 24-7, that’d be insane and also not healthy.

Some News I Guess

Sorry for being gone so much lately. I’m not giving up this blog. So no worries there. I’ve just been, well, taking care of me. Pretty much just doing some self-care because I’m generally horrible at, or at least putting myself first and feeling like I deserve to be taken care of. Like learning to eat better choices of food, exercising at the gym, sleeping at reasonable times, finishing projects, relaxing when I need to, and even putting in the time to think positively about myself. So that’s why I’ve been MIA for awhile.


I’m gonna answer some more recent asks, but everything else I’m just gonna erase and start over. Not saying I haven’t read all your messages and how incredibly kind and supportive you’ve all been. I’m so grateful to the love you have sent my way. But with how long it’s been, I believe a finish start is needed. I’m gonna make it a goal to post one drawing and answer one ask a day.

FAQ (sorta):

Keep reading

My mum and dad keep accidentally knocking my plants off this shelf when they close the window and the plants come crashing down onto the desk below. I know they’re not doing it on purpose but it’s heartbreaking picking up the plants completely broken. Even the ones that look like they survive slowly die and it’s hard to watch considering the fact I put so much time and effort and care into the few plants I can grow at a given time. All I can do is sow another few replacements and hope it doesn’t happen again.

if you live with understanding people and if you think you aren’t neurotypical, aka you might have mental illnesses and other “not normal” brain things, please tell them and please get tested and diagnosed. I always had a large haunch that I wasn't “normal” but I didn’t get tested until I was twenty years old, after having about five close suicide attempts (overdose) starting from fifth grade and after all the damage has scarred. 

And when I told my birth father he nearly locked me up in a mental institute, in a shameful and threatening manner. My mother was the only one who listened, understood, and put in effort to help. But even today she’s learning the reasons why I used to do things and the mental reasons behind them, and it still shocks her. But she is my only family member who knows.

TL;DR: So if you’re able to, please take time to find out for yourself your mental illness or if you’re not mentally “normal.” Even if you can’t tell anyone, you owe it to yourself to find out. It’s for your health. It’s for your wellbeing.

I could kiss you. I could fuck you. I could care about you. But love? I’m not able to do that. Not with you or anyone else. I could write about the color of your eyes and make stories about how I would touch your body but love? Its just a word to me. That is why I say you deserve better than me. Because you could love me with everything you’ve got and I still wouldn’t be able to whisper those three words to you. You could have the key, the combination to unlock the walls I put up and I would change the locks before you even get off the first number or get the key out of your pocket. I don’t get close to people. I won’t let myself do that. It’s not you or anyone else. Its really not. Its me. It’s one of my things. And I really don’t know how to stop. If you’re looking for love, I’m not the one. Why do you think I don’t have relationships anymore? This is a reason.
—  Oko Ninjah (looking for love? don’t look towards me)
slow dancing with Peter Parker would include

Originally posted by comicbookstuffdaily

  • you and peter are just goofing around in his flat
  • randomly dancing to different songs
  • teasing him about hoe terrible of a dancer he is
  • “you dance like a drunk monkey!”
  • him deciding to prove you wrong
  • turning on some slow song
  • him dancing his way to you
  • laughing at how ridiculous he looks
  • holding out his hand 
  • “what are you doing, you silly goof?”
  • “you’ll see, doll”
  • him putting his hands on your hips
  • keeping you close to him
  • you both swaying in time with music
  • him admiring your beauty
  • “i love you, little one”
  • reaching up and brushing a loose strand of hair behind your ear
  • leaning down slightly so your foreheads are pressed together
  • him quietly singing along to the song
  • smiling because he’s just so amazing, and he’s all yours
  • pressing a soft kiss to your forehead
  • smiling against your skin
  • moving his arm and wrapping it around your lower back
  • dipping you down and making you chuckle
  • kissing you gently
  • “so, has a drunk monkey even done this for you?”

Why do people keep using “I wouldn’t have turned against Harry if his name came up in the Tri-Wizard tournament” against Ron, like it’s right there in the book?? Because he was always (not exact quote, but close) “shunted off to one side and put up with it, I guess this is just one too many” it’s not even left for readers to interpret?? It’s just straight up laid out there for you what more do you want a 50-foot-banner with sirens because I’ll do it

gildedusurper  asked:

{ tap dances in for the series meme: so I know Dark Souls took a lot of inspo from Beserker but I'm so bad abt keeping up w/ watching/reading things even tho I wanna look into it so bad so pLS FILL THE LAZY VOID IN ME HEART. Tell me abt the Guts man backstory or maybe just why he do that one-eye closed dealio I'm dying 2 know! }

Whoo boy. It would be easier to explain his backstory up to that point, so I’ll do that, but I’m warning you, this is some heavy over the top shit. It’s pretty dark, so I’ll put it under a read-more. Trigger warnings abound and this shit is lengthy.

Keep reading

Silence (mgg)

Warning: noneeeee *you are giving mgg the silent treatment* Your POV: “What the fuck Y/N! What’s your deal! I literally haven’t even been home for an hour. How could I already make the house messy. You fucking haven’t been cleaning. Maybe you should clean for once.” He roared his voice over the whole house. He was deprived of sleep, I got that but he didn’t have to shout and say those things. “Matthew I didn’t even say anything, I just wanted you to put your bag up..” I said my voice going in one ear and out the other. “Just leave me alone Y/N. All you do is nag me, do this do that. I don’t have to take this. I could get any girl I wanted and they wouldn’t nag me like you!” My heart dropped to my stomach. My nose started to tingle and my throat closed up a bit. I looked at him in complete shock. After the words processed in his brain his face softened. Worry and guilt washed over his face. “Oh, oh my gosh babe I didn’t mean it I’m so so sorry!” He said trying to grab me. “No.” Is all I said and backed away from him as I tried so hard to hold back the tears. “Please”, his voice cracking. I backed up and went to our bedroom. I locked myself into the bathroom. I slid down the door, my heart almost leaped out of my chest. Hot liquids rolling down my face. “Y/N, I’m so sorry. Please open up. I didn’t mean to.” He said knocking on the door. “Go away. Stay away.” I said lifeless. “Please.” He said quietly, “NO!” I got up from the floor and opened the door. I pushed him back to the bedroom door. “Get the fuck out Matthew! Leave me alone. If you could fucking get anyone you want the go get one Matthew! Go fucking get one!” I said pushing him forcefully, angrily. I locked him out of the bedroom and continued to cry. ‘I’m not going to talk to him, if he wants to treat me like that then I’m not going to speak to him.’ I crawled into bed still crying heavily as I ignored Matthew’s pleads to open the door. I was so emotionally drained, I feel straight to sleep, still ignoring Matthew.
The next day came, I opened my eyes, they were closed a bit because of the dried tears. My head pounding. Body and mind drained. I walked to the bedroom door and opened it. I noticed Matthew on the floor crawled up in a little ball on the floor. I knew I felt bad for leaving him like that but I was still pretty heated from last night. I walked passed his sleeping frame. I went ahead and made my coffee and grabbed a mug from the drawer. I felt hands on my waist suddenly and I jumped when a head fell onto my shoulder. It was killing me a bit but I had to do it. I pushed him off of me and continued to get my coffee. I didn’t even look at him. I knew that if I looked into those beautiful eyes I’d fall into his arms immediately. I didn’t want that. He tried again, and again you pushed him off and went back into the bedroom locking it. *knock, knock* “Baby, can I please come in?” I’m not going to answer, I didn’t. “Please Y/N? I’m really sorry for what I said, I didn’t mean it I’m sorry.” He said through the door. I turned on music to drown him out. I blared music through the Bluetooth speaker so I made sure I couldn’t hear him. Believe me I felt awful of course but I didn’t want to give into him. He finally stopped for a while. I signed in relief and I went into the bathroom to run a bath. The water ran warm after a few minutes. I filled up it up and put the plug in it. I glided my body into the hot water. My muscles relaxed. After the bath I stepped out and put a huge shirt on. I laid down on Matthews side, I missed his body. I decided that I was going to sleep a bit more so I turned off my music. I heard him knocking again and pulled on headphones to drown him out and drifted asleep. ****** I woke up from my nap and shivered. I missed his body to warm mine. I took off my head phones and I heard lound banging noises. I found it odd and I got up and walked out of the bedroom. I followed the noises and it lead me to his office. I opened the door slightly so I could see inside. His eyes bloodshot, his clothes, loose and wrinkled. He started to punch his walls again making the loud noises you heard. I widened my eyes, “No, no stop Matthew!” I said running in on him and hugging his body, holding his arms tightly so he couldn’t hurt himself anymore. “You can’t hurt yourself.” I said in between cries. His expression was emotionless, but his eyes were welled up with tears. I looked down at his hands, they were all bloody and bruised. “Oh baby. Come on.” He followed me to our bathroom and sat on the edge of the bathtub. “You know I really didn’t mean those things, I I was just so tired and stressed and annoyed and I didn’t mean to take it out on you and I know you do everythin- ow!” He suddenly stopped his apology feeling the peroxide washing over his cuts. He sighed and stayed quiet. I finished bandaging him up. I pushed him out into the bedroom and helped him get out of his dirty clothes into comfier, clean ones. He laid down in the bed and I tucked him in. I laid on my side, my back facing him. Staying quiet. He turned over towards me and scooted closer. He brushed his hands under my shirt and kissed my neck. “I promise you I didn’t mean any of those things Y/N, I promise I’ll never hurt you like that again.” He said and kissed and sucked my neck. “Maybe I should show you how sorry I am?”

Originally posted by awesomebydean-blog

Warnings: none, I say. Little bit of fighting

Word Count: 983
A/N: So, here you go! I did it! Told you it was almost ready! Sorry for the weird answer yesterday, I was actually a little bit.. uh … drunk. However, I’m sorry that I’ve kept you waiting and I hope you like it! I mean, I even put a real self-defense technique inside!
Request: Could you do a Pietro Maximoff imagine where the reader and him hate each other, and one day the readers goes to train and the only other person there is Pietro so they train together and they end up with Pietro on top of them while Pietro has their hands pinned above their head and they’re really close and they end up making out?

Keep reading

(Request) ISTP/INFP Tale

ISTP/INFP: *watching The Walking Dead*

INFP: ISTP, if you were in a zombie apocalypse, what would you do?

ISTP: Get some canned food, a bottle of water, sleeping bag, windbreaker, and put it all in an easy to carry bag. Leave some room for ammo and a gun, then get some kind of close-up weapon… If I had one, I’d get a bow and arrow.

INFP: Oh. First-aid kit?

ISTP: Simple things, not a lot because it’d way me down and I could raid houses, warehouses, and stores later on.

INFP: Wow. I wonder how long we’d last.

ISTP: Hmm, depends on the people I would run into. Even though I wouldn’t be freaking out, someone might think I was bitten and shoot me in the head. Or someone would want revenge and do something to get at me. Like these idiots… *scowls at the show*

INFP: Huh, that’s true. Well, I think I’ll be the first-aid person! Will you take me with you, ISTP?

ISTP: …Don’t weigh me down.

INFP: *nods* I won’t!

Movie night

Words: 481

Warnings: none just slightly fluffy and cute

Requests open ! (Only reader x dan or phil and no personal name ones)

    “Oh come on (Y/N)!” Dan chuckled slightly shoving my shoulder.

    “Whatever Mr.Howell, I am not as scared as you at least.” I scoffed slightly smirking.

    “Says the one clutching to my arm the whole time!” Dan laughed standing up to walk to the kitchen.

    Me and Dan had been close friends since childhood, growing up next door to each other. I will admit I always thought Dan was an attractive person, even as a child I’d write about him in my diary journal thingy.

    “Hey do you want something to drink?” Dan called from the kitchen as I sat on the ground picking put the next movie.

    I didn’t get to see Dan much so when I did it was typically a week every two or three months and we would dedicate a day to watching movies. Well today was that day and it was just around 7, the sun had just gone down and snow fell outside the window.

    “Hot chocolate please!” I called, picking up Insidious chapter two, putting it in the blue ray player and walking into the kitchen.

    “Hey daniel.” I spoke sweetly, jumping up to sit on the counter, taking a few tries to get up.

    “You know I could have helped you.” He laughed as the kettle cooked on the stove.

    “Oh yeah and how’s that?” I asked joking, laughing.

    “Jump down and I’ll show you.” He raised an eyebrow smirking at me. Almost as if he was challenging me.

    “Fine.” I smirked back knowing this clumsy boy would find a way to mess up.

    “Here.” With that Dan lifted me up by my waist with ease, placing me softly on the counter.

    “Told. You.” He pronounced each word in a cocky manner, his face inches from mine.

    “Yeah yeah whatever.” I laughed, not even thinking about it, reaching my hand out to brush some fallen hair out of his eyes.

    “You have really nice eyes you know that?” Dan smiled sweetly before turning around and pouring hot water into two mugs.

    His comment took me aback.

    “Oh thank you.” I slid off the counter to stand next to him.

    “You know, I’ve missed you marshmallow.” He laughed before tugging me into his chest holding me there.

    Marshmallow had been his nickname for me since I was little he had just always called me that.

    “I’ve missed you too.” I mumbled from his chest, bring my head as close as it’d get, basically clutching onto him and never wanting to let go.

    “Let’s go finish our movie night, yeah?” He whispered into my hair before kissing the top of my head.

    I nodded as he grabbed the two mugs, handing one to me then placing that land on my lower back guiding me to the living room where we proceeded to cuddle and watch horror films until the early hours of the next day.

I really don’t think time does shit. You could get over something in two weeks, or two months, or two years, or never. It all depends on who you are, and how much fight you want to put into something; how determined you are to be okay. Time doesn’t do shit. You do. You’re the one that fights like hell to wake up every morning, and you’re the one who talks to other guys/girls after being heartbroken, you’re the one that moves on with your life even after losing someone close to you. Time doesn’t heal. You heal yourself.

“Fuck this phone! And fuck this bathroom! Vendetta! Find me better lighting!”

“…Yes, Miss Mahogany. But, if I may ask, why take so many pictures?”

“….You try posing with this shitty phone! It’s not even an iphone, it’s an android!”

(This is one of those moments where I stop being a big chicken and post more shitty stuff for people to look at. Ok, I REALLY REALLY wanted to do a Mahogany cosplay, even though the whole outfit isn’t that close and my hair is short as hell and I always look like shit. I DID put on makeup to cover up blemishes, although I’m pretty sure I fucked up on the eyeshadow and still have bags under my eyes. Fuck it, it’s past 2 AM as of this post, I tried. I also tried staying in character, although I couldn’t resist making faces at Purple Asshole and Vendetta. This is also the first cosplay that I have posted online (have others, but not in the mood for them now). I know it’s not all that good, but I wanted to at least try and have the courage to post these here. Also, I couldn’t use bigger mirrors since those are in my mom’s room and she’s asleep, so yeah. Also, those smaller shoes are bitches. Fuck those shoes. Did I do good?

Mahogany belongs to rebornica)