do i even need a reason why

I passed my exam.

This past year, and last year, has been extremely difficult for me. My family has been pulled apart, we have grieved for those who are still alive but who we cannot touch, who we cannot hold, who we cannot comfort. And we have grieved the loss of my grandfather. We have cried so many tears.


Due to external factors my mental health has suffered, so very very much. I have struggled so greatly in trying to find a reason to keep going. I asked the world why am I here, why do I hurt so greatly, why is my mind against me. I got angry with my husband. I hid away. I stopped living, I merely existed.


Even the day before my exam I was thinking of ways to put it off. It seemed utterly impossible. I didn’t want to be around people, I didn’t want to be faced with an exam which I was so sure I would fail. I didn’t need yet more proof of my failings.


However, I went. I sat the exam. I passed. Throughout these passed two years I fought with myself every day. I got some studying done. I did my best. It never felt good enough but I did what I could. I tried. I got out of bed and I tried to do something for my future, even though my mind was screaming “this is useless, you are useless, stop wasting your time”.


I did my best. I tried. Throughout everything, I tried. I argued with myself and I read the books and wrote the notes. I didn’t pass with amazing marks, but I passed. I’m proud of myself for that. My best was good enough, it always is.


One more year to go.

anonymous asked:

If you don't mind me asking, why is Aya/hina so popular? I mean, I'm not an anti or anything, I'm just genuinely curious how it came to be. I personally can't see anything romantic between them because they haven't really interacted that much on-screen (or page, I guess)

Mod K:

Do people need a reason?

Ayato clearly cares deeply for Hinami – Hinami’s feelings were always unclear, bu sometimes people just ship to ship.

Mod S: Even though we haven’t seen every moment of them together, the times we have seen them have been touching moments.

Storm In The Room certainly was an emotional roller coaster, but not in the way most of us were expecting. You have to know whenever you see one of the rooms of the temple appear, we’re going to be in for emotional whiplash.

Doubly so for Rose Quart’s room.

The one thing we have a tendency to forget is that the room seems to have one purpose: to show whoever possesses the Rose Quartz gem (aka Steven at this point) whatever it thinks they want. 

The room can only work with the information Steven already knows. Steven knows this. He says it several times. But given the circumstances, it’s easy to become overwhelmed and forget that. And the room? Just keeps on doing what it was designed to do. Steven wants to meet his mom?

Steven gets to meet his mom. 

Steven wants to play games with his mom? Steven gets to play games with his mom.

Steven needs reassurance? He’s told he’s wonderful the way he is and that his mother has been with him the whole time.

And it’s beautiful.

But it’s empty. 

Rose’s room holds no answers for him. It can’t tell him anything he doesn’t already know. The sudden reminder that his mother isn’t actually there is jarring. 

And the room, struggling to keep up with the sudden shift in Steven’s thoughts makes Rose dark, threatening and distant. She doesn’t answer any of Steven questions about Bismuth, Pink Diamond, the rebellion or her plans because the room simply doesn’t have the information to do so with.

Maybe they didn’t matter to you as much as hiding from the mess you made. And that’s why I’m here, isn’t it? Did you make me just so you wouldn’t have to deal with all your mistakes?

Steven is smart. Steven is perceptive. He was born into a situation that no one, let alone a child, should have to deal with. He’s strong, he’s capable, but in so many ways he has no one who truly understands what he’s going through. He’s human and gem, and while this gives him the strengths of both, it also makes him totally unique and new. He has an amazing support system, people who would do anything in this universe to help him. But in some ways he will always be alone. 

He’s never met Rose Quartz, the one individual that was the catalyst for the rebellion and its aftermath. Steven is going from the bedtime story/ fairy tale Rose Quartz presented to him from Greg and the gems to the reality behind the legend- something decisively less fairy tale like. That’s something that happens to a lot of us growing up, but in Steven’s situation it’s so much worse.

He never knew the Rose Quartz everyone idolized, but grew up knowing that everyone expected him to be just like her.  But as he learns more about her, he finds that there was so much more to her. She wasn’t necessarily the kind, generous, wise, strategic genius warrior she was painted as. She lied. She didn’t think things through. She made mistakes. She ran from those mistakes.

Everyone around him expects him to grow up to be just like Rose, and he’s not even sure he likes her. Turning into her is both his dream and his worst nightmare. 

We don’t know all the reasoning behind why Rose decided to become/create Steven. I have no doubt that it was definitely a strategic move on her part. She knew that Steven would be capable of doing things she never could, that in whatever was coming from Homeworld, she herself would not be able to do what was needed to save both Earth and whatever gems would come their way.

But I also have no doubt that it was a labor of love, that she absolutely would want Steven to exist without having to deal with her problems, IF that was possible. Steven had watched the tape his mom made for him, so the room? It knew what Steven needed to be reminded of.

I get it. I know you didn’t want me to deal with your problems. But you’re a part of me now. I have to deal with what you left behind. 

Whether Steven’s creation was a strategic move on Rose’s part or not is a moot point. He’s here and he has to handle the problems she left in her wake. He’s growing up and he needs answers. And as he’s coming to find, those answers aren’t necessarily easy to deal with. 

But, when it comes down it, Steven isn’t alone. Maybe his support system isn’t perfect, but it doesn’t have to be. They love him, they love each other, and they’ll get through this together.

Sometimes what’s let behind isn’t so bad after all. 

*pounds fist on table* ok i need to talk about the god-tier klance moments in s3e03 “the hunted” because damn there’s a couple scenes that are so powerful and important and i just….holy shit. buckle up, y’all.

this episode is fucking great for a lot of reasons, but one of my favorite parts of it is how much it shows the development of keith & lance’s relationship: especially 1) how good lance has become at grounding keith & helping him control his reckless impulses, and 2) how keith feels like he can be open and honest with lance about his fears/insecurities––which is a big fucking deal because we’ve almost never seen him do this. 

the first scene that really struck me is this part where keith is leading the team after lotor and it’s just….a big mess. he’s not thinking about keeping the team together. allura’s falling behind and he’s not paying any attention. he’s not considering that this might be a trap. all he can think about is diving in headfirst without considering the consequences.

and then this happens:

uhhhh….oh my god??

look, we know how keith gets. we know how hot-headed and stubborn he can be. i mean listen, we’re talking about this kid who literally tried to fight zarkon by himself.

and yet…..even in the middle of this intense chase, lance gets through to him. he brings keith down from that battle-rage and makes him see reason. and he does it in a way that’s straightforward and brutally honest (“you’re endangering the team and you can’t do this”) which i think is exactly why it works. that’s the kind of direction keith needs, and tbh out of everyone on the team it makes the most sense that it comes from lance.

i’m just

me: hey can i get a fucking uhhhhh lance being keith’s impulse control
dreamworks: *gives me this*
me: *kicking down the door* HOLY FUCK MOM

and look i was already sobbing over this one small part but then we get THIS….THIS SCENE….

oh boy oh wow where do i stART?!

god damn this scene is beautiful––visually, thematically, it’s just …. so powerful and significant.

first of all i need to freak out a little over the way the scene is set up and how wonderful the symbolism is. 

it starts with keith literally in the shadows, and then slowly emerging and drifting up towards lance with their lions facing each other. lance & red are above keith & black which is really interesting.

as we all know, keith is the leader right now. and yet, both literally and figuratively, he’s not positioning himself higher than lance––in fact, he’s doing the very opposite. and his lion doesn’t have her head lowered in shame either; the lions are directly looking each other in the eyes (which i feel like is pretty damn rare??) and that’s very meaningful. everything about the visual setup of the scene just screams openness, honesty, vulnerability. 

(side note: also wow @ that red and blue background, amiright)

and then we have everything that keith says. and boy….there’s so much to unpack here:

- he admits it was his fault and he led everyone into a trap
- he also admits that everyone warned him (lance warned him) and he wasn’t listening
- and because of that he put everyone else in danger

and man i gotta give huge props to steven yeun here because his voice acting in this scene….jeez it broke my heart. keith says all this so quietly, his voice is literally shaking. shit, he sounds close to tears. this is possibly the closest we’ve ever seen keith to totally breaking down and it’s just…..it hurts so much and it’s so important.

it really hits you in this moment that keith is a kid. he’s 16 years old!! he didn’t want to lead the team & he doesn’t know how to do it. he can’t do it by himself. he doesn’t say any of that explicitly here but it’s 100% clear that that’s exactly what he’s saying.

and he says this to lance of all people. lance, his supposed “rival”! you would think lance would be the last person he’d want to turn to for reassurance or to blatantly admit “wow i fucked up real bad.” and yet….here we are. it’s moments like these that really prove that under the surface, these two don’t hate each other in the least. they like each other. they respect each other. they rely on each other!! (*whispers* space ranger partners….) 

and lance’s response only proves my point even more. he could easily have said “i told you so” or otherwise berated keith for his mistake. but he doesn’t! his answer is:

- yes, you messed up.
- but we’re going to fix it. we. i can’t stress that enough! he doesn’t say “you messed up and now you have to do something about it.” he doesn’t say “you messed up and now i’m going to take over and do something about it.” he’s essentially saying “yeah you made a mistake but that’s in the past….and now we’re going to take care of it together.” 

and that’s?? so great?? because keith more or less admitted that he was feeling this huge burden weigh down on him, and lance––in his own subtle way––lifted that weight off keith’s shoulders. he’s reassuring keith that he’s not alone in this. *wipes tears from my eyes*

and if all that wasn’t enough, keith immediately saying “you’re right” makes it all the more significant. he’s openly admitting once again that he fucked up, but he’s also agreeing with lance’s statement that they can still turn things around and fix his mistake as a team. which is…..wow. 

tl;dr - everything about this pair of scenes just proves how keith & lance work so well together and need each other. it shows how important it is for them to be open and honest with each other, and demonstrates how they both have that capability. 

and i’m gonna scream about it for a hundred years. 

A Note on Reblogging (Your Own Fic/Art/Stuff/Etc.)

Look, here’s the deal with tumblr: it moves fast. A lot of people follow enough blogs that scrolling through one’s entire dash is impossible. I remember the days when I could wake up in the morning and scroll back to the last post I saw before bed. Sweet, summer child.

Here’s the other deal with tumblr: I see so much anxiety about reblogging one’s own stuff, be it art; analysis; fanfiction; hell, personal posts and replies. I have (and continue to feel deeply) that anxiety. Every time, my inner critic and I go through the same song and dance.

Critic: You look like you’re begging for notes/replies/reblogs. People will think you’re needy/full of yourself/have to be the center of attention. You already have a few notes, why do you need more? Other people have it worst than you. Ugh, you’re just clogging the dashes of your followers. If they wanted to read it, they’d have read it already.

Me: *ball of anxiety* You’re right. Wait, no you’re not. Wait, maybe you are. Wait, no—

I’d say it’s 50/50, even now, that I’ll reblog myself. 

And you know what? Fuck that. 

  • Not everyone can get through their dash in a sitting.
  • Timezones are a thing.
  • Work hours are a thing, also affected by timezones.
  • Life away from tumblr is a thing (what??? I know).

There are so many reasons a person might not see your fic/art/stuff the first time. Reblog it the next day. Reblog it a week from now. Hell, set up a schedule or a queue and have it reblog itself three months from now. Go back through old fics and reblog the ones you really liked; I guarantee you have followers who are new enough to have never seen it or who would like to reread it.

Be proud of the work you do.

Oh yeah, I felt that resistance from here.

Say it again. Out loud. Write it on a post-it note and stick it where you’ll see it.

Be proud of the work you do.

You wrote/made it for a reason. And yeah, part of that reason was probably to share it with other fans. Otherwise, why post at all? I know. Man, I get it. I’m cringing even writing that. The fucked-up “don’t show off” mentality runs deep, right?

Fuck that, too.

If you have followers who unfollow you because you’re reposting your stuff (and this is hard to prove, remember; maybe they quit tumblr, maybe their interests diverged from yours, whatever), who cares? Let them go. For everyone who leaves you, many will stay. And many will be happy to see that thing they missed because of work, life, sleeping. Especially if you follow a few points of tumblr/dash etiquette:

  • Use cuts/read mores for anything longer than a few hundred words (I tend to cut at about 400-500 words, though if something’s under about 700 I might leave it).
  • Reblog at reasonable intervals (day/evening, next day reblog, etc. Hourly might be a bit much ;D).
  • Use tags so people can filter appropriately.

Be proud of the work you do.

(Write it down. Yes, you. <3)

i know im gonna lose followers because i always do when i bring up race but idc anyway the reason why i brought that up is because all too often ill see “defend kids! leave kids alone! let them be kids!” and often than not its referring to white kids

black kids and kids of color dont get this treatment. theyre shit gets made fun of, they get sent death threats and bullied off the site and no one–not even those same people who keep talking about how much we need to protect kids–will say anything

this is not me saying that we should start making fun of white kids or sending them death threats cause thats fucked up. im saying dont pick and choose which kids you wanna defend.

So Netflix really out there cancelling out of the best shows? Sense8 was amazing, it had good LGBT representation, characters with different races and cultures, beautiful cinematography, interesting plots and an amazing writing.

They also had the nerve to cancel The Get Down earlier this month, a show were the cast was 99% Black/Latinx and now they are coming for the only diverse show left.

Netflix actually keep 13 reasons why that didn’t even needed a second season because it was legit only ONE BOOK, Hannah is dead and the 13 reasons are known plus the producers of the show ignored the warnings and got people wih mental illness suicidal but of course money and mainstream media speaks louder.

Sense8 and The Get Down deserved better. The LGBT community deserves better and so did the minorities represented in those shows. To everyone that didn’t got to see sense8 I recommend you to do so and fall in love with the beauty that was the show and the intriguing plot lines.

I understand that both series had a big budget but if the reason to cancel sense8 was the expensive locations then for anyone who watched the season 2 finale knows that for season 3 location wasn’t going to be an issue. PLUS Netflix did a terrible job promoting both shows so idk how they could’ve expected a bigger audience.

from a comrade

“Planning to hit the streets to raise some hell? I commend you. You’re doing the hard work we need right now. Just remember to buy yourself some face coverage.

A bandana is always fashionable, but a balaclava provides more coverage and a more secure fit should you need to run. Plus it’s a lot warmer, which is important for these winter protests. A keffiyeh is a classic look, and wrapped correctly provides good coverage as well. Avoid shit like the Guy Fawkes mask; poor visibility, and you look like a dweeb.

"But friend,” you might protest. “Why do I need a mask if I’m not planning on doing anything illegal?” Excellent question! There are several reasons:

1. You don’t know when an illegal tactic will play out around you. You don’t want to be caught on camera next to someone smashing bank windows.
2. If only the black bloc masks up, the police immediately know who to prioritize. Even if you don’t personally involve yourself in such tactics, it’s important to stand in solidarity with your more militant brethren. They are the stick to your carrot, and we need both to be functional.
3. As these protests go on and become more disruptive, the Nazis will take an interest in direct action of their own. They’re already putting out literal bounties on resisters. The peacefulness of your protest will not protect you from the hate machine if you happen to get doxxed in a protest photo.

Fight back. Fight hard, or soft, as it pleases you. Fight together. But please, please be safe. <3"

listen I love those ‘imagine Padmé giving birth during the Clone Wars aus’ but instead of the Jedi Council just being okay with it for no real logical reason other than 'we need general Skywalker because he’s the chosen one’ please imagine Padmé and Anakin still trying to keep their relationship a secret even when it starts getting ridiculous.

Obi-Wan: Anakin why do Senator Amidala’s children look like you?
Anakin: The Force is my father so maybe it bullshitted them some genes too.

Mace: Anakin why did you move into Senator Amidala’s home?
Anakin: What? She needed help raising the twins. I’m just being helpful.

Rex: Umm General Skywalker? Why is there a baby strapped to your chest?
Anakin: Luke is sick and Senator Amidala didn’t want Leia to catch it. I’m babysitting.

Ahsoka: Master, we’re on a mission. Why are we stopping to buy toys for the Senator’s children?
Anakin: Listen Ahsoka, Luke and Leia will love this.

Everyone who knows Anakin and Padmé: Look Anakin, we know you’re the father.
Anakin: *snuggled up to Padmé and they both have a sleeping baby in their arms* I have no idea what you’re talking about.

How to deal with losing interest in your language class:

As a student in a higher-level French and who is self-studying two other languages, I know for a fact that taking a foreign language can get stressful and overwhelming. To learn a ton of grammar, humongous amounts of vocab, and to know how a mind in another culture works, it can get super hard sometimes. All that stuff that goes into learning a foreign language can make it super easy to get burnt-out. And we’ve all done it. Trust me. But, it’s okay, my dude. We’ve all been there. It sucks, but you’ll get over it. Here are some tips how: 

i. take your time 

Listen, my dudes, it can be so difficult to learn a foreign language and you should already be proud of yourself for doing so!! Even in a fast-paced class, you should take it slow and make sure you don’t beat yourself over not getting it in perfect time. Language takes practice, and sometimes we don’t get it as fast as we want it. it’s okay. 

ii. ask questions/talk to the professor

Are you totally lost? Tell someone. It could be a classmate, a native speaker you’ve befriended, or your instructor. Either way, I highly recommend you talk to someone if you’re stuck on a specific concept or feel unmotivated. You sometimes need a boost from a study buddy in your target language. 

iii. remember why you’re studying

My go-to method for when I’m having a bad day in French or I’m just not getting something is simple. I simply ask myself: “Why am I doing this?” No reason is not good enough for choosing to learn a specific language. Learning languages has its benefits and even if you just like the sound of it is reason enough to learn it! Trust me, I have no incentive for learning my target language. But I love it, and I refuse to give it up when it gets difficult. 

iv. study on your own 

To be honest, this is super super important anyway. You absolutely NEED to practice a language on your own, whether you feel like it or not. Without some practice, you’re going to feel completely lost in class sometimes. You can have fun with this too: take this time to familiarize yourself with the culture more. Personally, it’s always helpful to watch movies in French or listen to music in Spanish. I learn to enjoy my target language more and to have fun with it!

v. take a break

We all get unmotivated sometimes. Yeah, language learning takes a lot of work, but sometimes it helps to take a step back and refresh a little. Focus on other schoolwork or maybe find something new to occupy your time. Being burnt out on learning a language sucks, I know, but sometimes it’s best to ride the wave a little bit. 

I’ve just realised why I love the Final Agni Kai so much (and why it’s the best fight in Avatar). They are both fighting like each other.

Zuko is confident and at peace with himself. His firebending is the best it has ever been and Azula is unhinged. So he stays on the defensive, exploits her weaknesses and exploits her unhinged mentality by antagonising her into fighting on his terms (e.g. “No lighting today?”) and making her do what he wants.

But Azula is fighting like Zuko. She is constantly on the offensive and driven by rage and a desperate need to prove herself. She’s caving under her family issues, feelings of abandonment and the slights that have been made on her honour. Because of this, she is blind to Zuko’s actions and can only focus on giving the battle her all and proving herself to her father. Hence why she falls for Zuko’s trap (e.g. “I’ll show you lightning!”)

I just love this show, and I find even more reasons to love it every day.

【TRANS】 EXO - Touch It (Lyrics by CHEN)

No words can replace you
They are unnecessary
It cannot be expressed
I don’t need anything else if I just have you
Yes if I only have you
Your dizzying silhouette
Even your shadow is beautiful
All of your small actions that
Make me go crazy
When you slightly sweep your hair up
That sexy gesture gesture baby
Your gesture gesture
I lost my way when I was caught
By my attraction to you gesture gesture baby
My gesture gesture
Ay and she goes like nanana
Ay all the girls go nanana
Oh yeah
You in front of me now is absolutely
Feeling good now
Feeling good now
Yeah I’m feeling good now
But in my mind boom how should I say it
What what in my head black out uh
My imagination is awakened
I draw hundreds of figures of you
Your small motions all seem like your voice
When you slightly sweep your hair up
That sexy gesture gesture baby
Your gesture gesture
I lost my way when I was caught
By my attraction to you gesture gesture baby
My gesture gesture
All my ladies say yeah nanana
Ay with one voice feel me nanana
All my ladies say yeah nanana
Yo yo sing it again nanana
Why do we need a reason
It doesn’t need to be great
Just one of your trivial gestures
Torments me
You shake me babe
Oh you got what I want
Ay ay I only need you
That’s all babe
Oh you got what I want
Ay Ay just stay by my side
We don’t want to regret
I can’t help myself
Even if I don’t pretend to stay calm and let it show
I keep falling for you without knowing it
Gradually without you knowing
Your eyes are facing me
Did you think I didn’t know yeah
Tell me if you want me
When you slightly sweep your hair up
That sexy gesture gesture baby
Your gesture gesture
I lost my way when I was caught
By my attraction to you gesture gesture baby
My gesture gesture
Sing it sing it baby nanana
Ay c'mon c'mon do it again nanana
Do it together with me
Your white fingertips
Oh as if you’re teasing me
And sometimes as if you’re indifferent
Your gesture gesture to me
Make me dizzy
Show me a little more
Oh as if I pass by you
Watch it baby
Maybe I’ll get closer to you
Watch it baby
My gesture gesture
Will stop you stop you
trans: andie @ fychen ϟ please take out with full credit!

2

Sormik week day 6! Woohoo! I’m back.
No baby Sormiks this time, but have all the more fluff. This one is for @amarietie/ @tmariea for Storms in Our Blood. Today’s theme is “Lastonbell—Promises/Acceptance”, and although this scene indeed takes place in Elysia and has nothing to do with the Lastonbell promise, I figured the prompt was as good as any to do a marriage proposal.
I… I went over the top with the cheesiness, didn’t I? *hides*
The layers have fancy names to distract from the ridiculous romance going on here. Like “background panels”, background background”, “fucking rain”, “fucking lightning”, “rainy bits” and “rainy muchs”.

Anyway, I’m sorry this is so rushed, but I hope it gets the idea across just fine! I really really hope you like it, Mari! :,)
This is my little thanks for your kind words and deeds for me, and for your Earth Armatus Rose occasionally saving my ass in ToLink, hoho. HAPPY SEVERAL MONTHS LATE BIRTHDAY OR SOMETHING

For everyone else: go read the story, it includes more artistic use of seraphic artes, and more kisses in the rain, if that doesn’t convince you I don’t know what to tell you

“What if I didn’t care too much? ” he said while looking at her, trying to imagine that she’s someone else. That he’s not asking this question to someone he loves truly—for the fact that he doesn’t want to hurt her. He never wants to cause heartbreak, especially to her. But because he can’t take it any longer, he took a deep breath and continued, “You don’t need to answer me. I just…you know…I just really have to let this out. Because it’s hard. I know you’re not even asking me to care about you this much, you didn’t even ask me to hold you up whenever you feel that you’re about to shatter and fall to the ground. But I care, hell I still care. And you know the only reason why I do. Why I always claim to be—that person who is always on your side—and it doesn’t matter whether you’re on your darkest times or brightest hours. I’ll still be there, to cheer you up when you’re down, and to clap my hands for you, to hug you warmly and to congratulate you every time you achieved something you always wanted.”.

He paused reminiscing all the good and bad times that they were together. He remembered the times she tried pushing him away. But he never left her. Because he knew that time was the moment that she needed him the most.

“Yet now, I wonder. What if I didn’t fall in love with you? Will I still care about you? Will I’m going to be one of those people who left you once they were ignored by you? Will I’m still going to be here—standing firmly next to you? ”. he said. He didn’t wait for her answer, instead he continued saying, “I honestly don’t know what exactly I would do. Because the moment I saw you, I never imagined being away from you. I never saw myself leaving you. I never ever saw myself not caring this much about you. And that’s the reason why—it hurts at the same time.”.

He looked at her just to find her staring back at him. With her eyes so beautiful that the stars weren’t enough to describe the way her eyes shone that night. He slowly grabbed her hands, closing it with his.

And when he looked back at her, both of them have tears in their eyes, as he said “Because the truth is, no matter how hard I try to move my feet miles apart from you, I can’t. I just can’t run away from you.

—  ma.c.a // Love Pushed Me To You
reasons why haggar is a lesbian

made by me, a certified lesbian

• she’s the most powerful villain/person in the show
     • like seriously no one has anything on her
     • and lesbians/gay people are always more powerful than straight people

• no one fucking…listens to her
     • which is relatable so i mean…

• the only time she smiles around a man is when she’s torturing him
     • do i even need to explain this

• she’s magical and magic is gay
     • proof: have you ever read a fantasy book because holy shit even if the obviously        gay characters end up being straight (looking at you sarah j. maas) they’re still            pretty fuckign gay

• what straight girl dresses like this:

conclusion: haggar is a lesbian

I wanted to grab my phone and call him.” she stared at the photo she’s been holding for hours. She’s talking to her best friend, telling her about all the things she had been feeling these past few days. It had been a silent week for her. A week of gloomy days and drizzles from the grayish skies. A week of starless night and moonless sleep. A week of feelings she can’t truly describe.“ I don’t know the exact reason why I’m saying this to you. But I really wanted to talk to him. I need to hear his voice. I need to know that he’s doing fine. I need him to tell me that everything is going to be all right. I don’t know but now I feel that maybe, I need to hear it directly from him. Maybe he should tell me that he’s not coming back. That he’s going to avoid me forever even if we happen to cross each other’s path again in the future. Maybe he should tell me that everything is going to change and I can’t do anything about it. That I can’t make the impossible things happen, the way I wanted them to. I know he said it already, but maybe I need to hear it again and again, until it knocked me back to my senses. Until I believed that it was real. Until I believed that it was not just the scariest nightmare I’ve been through. Maybe someone needs to remind me that I need to finally loosen my grip to this photograph of him. That he’s no longer happy to be with me. That I need to finally let him go. For real.
—  ma.c.a // Tell me, You’re no longer mine

capismycopilot  asked:

have you ever had to deal with any biphobia at a pride event?

Yeah. Nothing crazy though? but definitely the implication that i didn’t belong there. Side-Eyes, eyerolls, etc. Id rather not go into detail because it’s not important.

What was important was a moment I had with this older Bi man. I was decked out in Bi colors and had a shit ton of Bi colored beads on and he came up to me like “hey friend! can i have some!” we were about to walk the Parade for Pridelines - a really cool organization for LGBT youth - so everyone had signs that said “I have Pride because…” and they would fill it in. His said “I have Pride because I am Bisexual, I’m married, and I have HIV” so I get up and I was like “yeah man ofcourse!”

“thanks! it’s cool to see people being prideful about being Bi. Those colors are sparse this year” and i was like “Yeah, I’m sure there’s more but some of them feel like they can’t.” “Which is bullshit” “Right” “I want to thank you for being decked out. I clearly didn’t dress up in colors like I wanted to” he gestured to his white shirt and shorts and then continued “but I saw you and I suddenly felt ashamed for being so scared. How stupid is that? I’m 60, went through the AIDS epidemic, and scared over wearing Bi colors.” We chuckled a bit and I said “Hey man, that’s part of the reason why I did it. I was nervous too but I knew I’d regret it if I didn’t because other people need to see that not only we exist but that we belong” “Well Thank you for pushing through that and helping other Bis out here who see that and feel validated. You’re doing good things by being dressed up.” And we hugged it out for what seemed like forever.

That moment made my entire pride to the point where I even forgot I encountered petty biphobia here and there until you asked this ask.

i was looking at the mspa wiki and

this fucking bit. this piece of knowledge gets me every goddamn time i remember it. we dont know how long dave and karkats snapchat streak is but its probably somewhere in the hundreds. for years these boys have been snapchatting each other every single day, without pause. FOR YEARS.

they fucking live with each other

they, presumably, as they both have the same job and spend their free time going on digs with jade and hanging out with mutual friends, spend just about all of their time together

what the fuck are they sending each other. do they snapchat each other while theyre in the same room? while the others in the bathroom? what are they even sending each other? what the fuck kind of content is being shared between these two ridiculous boys?

andrew didnt give me a fuckin davekat kiss but he did give me a canon davekat snapchat streak and im so fucking bothered by it, im so upset, what is going on, why are they like this. they fucking LIVE WITH EACH OTHER. what are they DOING. @ andrew i need answers fucking Please