do i even do that

I drive with silence.

It’s a lonely road, and one I never thought I’d travel. I never would have imagined this to be my path of life. It’s been an uphill struggle, with sharp bends and sudden dips—sometimes I lost sight of the top of that hill.

But it’s the hill I chose to climb, and now… here I am, at its peak, looking back into my past. My perspective has changed. Here I am, at its peak, and I’m not looking up anymore.

(Have I left you behind? I reach out, can you take my hand? But everyone is still climbing their hill—I’ve reached the top of mine.) Here I am.

Where do I go now? There’s no more path, no more road to travel, not like the one I had. Will I ever get that back, that path towards something?

Where do I go now?

I’m wandering. I’m lost.

Can you see me, from the top of this hill? Can you see who I am?

See who I am. I am what I love.

And I love you. I love what you do; I love who you are. Each and every one of you—a unique and individual human, climbing their own hill. So take my hand, and we’ll walk this next path together.

—thoughts and feelings from @markiplier’s “I Feel Lost

i did a bad thing

i started thinking about what i want to do after finding marley is over, and i had all these exciting ideas floating around in my head, so now i’ve got six pages of notes about a story that i’ll probably never even have the time to write, woops

Originally posted by tkd-lyfe

anyone that draws the director white owes griffin $250

just wanted to say that if our thread is heading towards smut but you don’t feel like or don’t want to roleplay smut, it’s okay. Just tell me and we can fade to black and move on to another scene. Pls don’t feel like you must rp smut with me, what matters to me the most is for my partners to be comfortable with our threads.

; on Miranda

|| I feel as if Thomas’ romantic and sexual orientation is far simpler to summarize than James’, and in my mind, Thomas is gay. That is how I have always seen him, how I have always written him in fanfiction, and I think all I ever will. Of course, in terms of how I write him in a roleplay context, this leaves his relationship with Miranda ambiguous without exploration. 

Using @captain-flint ‘s post here as a timeline, I make the assumption that in 1705, Thomas is in his early thirties, and that Miranda is likely a few years younger than him. Assuming they married when Thomas was in his early twenties and Miranda at the end of her teenage years or early twenties, I put their marriage date in 1695 for convenience’s sake. Of course, this would mean that by the time James comes into their lives they would have already been married for ten years. 

The affection between Thomas and Miranda is clear as day in the show, both in the scenes they share and in the way that Miranda’s character talks of him in 1715 Nassau, and for my depiction of Thomas, Miranda is crucial. Whilst, in my mind, he holds no romantic or sexual attraction for her, his love for her is deep and unbreakable and he loves her as much as a person can love another. Whilst James is his moon, Miranda is his stars

He respects her absolutely and holds no resentment towards her for having lovers, for having James first, for perhaps even sharing James (I still cannot make up my mind as to whether I believe James and Miranda continued sharing a bed after James and Thomas began their affair. If James had sexual relationships with the both of them at the same time, I imagine, though, that the three of them often shared a bed). Thomas stands by her when rumours fly around London of her alleged promiscuity and the idea of her with others does not bother him at all. Partly I attribute this to his lack of romantic and sexual interest in her, but mostly instead to the absolute solidness of their bond and their deep and unbreakable love for the other. 

Because they were companions for so many years, and because they were so involved in each others’ lives (in marriages in the nobility, it was not especially unusual for husbands and wives to live apart, usually the husband in the capital or at court and the wives in the country estates rather than the other way around), I believe Miranda really was like Thomas’ other half, a puzzle piece that fitted almost perfectly to him and she understood him. She accepted the part of him that the rest of the world would look to (and eventually did) condemn. To someone in his position, that would mean the entire world. Until James came along, she had to have been the single most important thing in his life. Once James came into the picture, despite the absolute different natures of the loves, I cannot see Thomas being able to choose one over the other. 

In short: Miranda was as much the love of Thomas’ life as James was. They were two different loves, but neither one more or less crucial to Thomas than the other.

So here’s a random realisation. 

I consume a lot of content, like A LOT, (tv, movies, books, music, etc you name it) and more often than not, particularly with the visual form of content, I find myself consuming content passively. What I mean is that I just sit there and watch things without really processing them (most of the time after a really tiring day, it’s the kind of content I prefer, because I don’t really have to think too much about it). But here’s the great thing about this little Norwegian tv show, it doesn’t allow us to do that. Skam feels like what the future of media content should be. Active audience engagement. The fact that you have to seek out the website, wait for updates, integrate that with other social media updates. It makes you less likely to consume the show without thought. Here’s Julie saying, this show isn’t going to play by the rules, we’re not gonna spoon feed you, figure it out yourself. 

And because your participation in it is self-initiated, you’re more likely to start actively assessing what you watch, and start thinking about implications and making predictions. And substantiating/backing up those assertions you make and this is where metas and analyses comes in. what I love so much about this show is the sheer amount of discussion that goes on in the fandom as the seasons progress and everyone’s active (im using this word a lot am i?) involvement in these discussions. Not only does it cultivate a mindset of critical analysis, but also you learn to be more engaged with the characters and their development which in turn teaches us empathy. 

Ok, but like, don’t a lot of shows have fandoms that discuss things and have fans who relate to characters? Well, yes, I’m not saying they don’t. But another thing that sets skam apart from most shows is the audience engagement is much more of a two way street than most tv shows (which incidentally makes the audience interest more sustained in the show). a lot of the times, most tv/movies get produced first and then the audience gets the finished product and the feedback from the audience is delayed by 4 to 5 episodes. If its something the audience isn’t receptive of, shows probably only start pivoting in the next season.  And some show creators don’t really care about the audience feedback beyond the numbers and ratings. and on some shows, all they care about are the review critics. and tv networks and movie producers generally don’t care about fans so long as the content makes money. There have been fandoms where the creators have actively worked against what the general fandom wants, which creates a negative dichotomy where the fandom still engages in the media that doesn’t want to cater to them. 

But so far, skam is, fortunately, different in that fan discussions are welcomed and even addressed (re: all those fourth wall breaking). And the response from the creators is often almost instantaneous, fluid and flexible. It creates a lively environment that fosters creativity for both fan and content creator (albeit challenging for the show runners). And because the content creators listen, viewers are more likely to become much more discerning, critical thinking people who form opinions on their own and want to actively (there’s that word again) throw these ideas out there to the creators and have some sort of autonomy over the content that they’re consuming rather than just sitting staring at the screen being fed ideas passively. Basically, what im saying is, watching skam helps me become smarter lmao.