do i care about my social life

When I was training to be a battered women’s advocate, my supervisor said something that really blew my mind:

“You can always assume one thing about your clients; and that is that they are doing their best. Always assume everyone is doing their best. And if they’re having a day where their best just isn’t that great, or their best doesn’t look like your best, you have to be okay with that.”

Any now whenever anyone in my life, either a friend or a client, frustrates me, disappoints me, or pisses me off, I just tell myself They are doing their best. Their best isn’t that great today, but I have days where my best isn’t that great either. 

college advice from someone who’s been on both sides of it

So I’m finishing up my Ph.D. and preparing to depart for the real world (no, just kidding, I’m going to be in school forever, only in a different capacity) and I thought I’d put together a list of some college tips to share with you all. I graduated with my B.A. in 2012, magna cum laude, with 2 majors, 1 honours thesis, 2 on-campus jobs, and 3 music things. Since then, I’ve gone to grad school and also taught six semesters of first-year seminars. Now I’m going on the job market for teaching positions. All of this means that I’ve seen both sides of the college experience, as a student and as an instructor. There are a lot of great & useful college advice posts going around studyblr this time of here, and I wanted to add my own. I hope it’s useful. So here we go, with a “read more” because it’s long (sorry if you’re on mobile):

academics

  • find your classrooms ahead of time (profs’ offices too)
  • figure out how long it will take you to walk between places
  • figure out where your best seat will be & claim it
  • say hi to the people next to you, learn their names
  • take notes in class
  • take advantage of extra credit
  • try your best not to fall asleep in class (and if you do fall asleep, apologise to the prof afterwards)
  • bring your glasses if you need them, don’t be stubborn about it
  • check out the library, wander in the stacks, talk to the librarians
  • figure out how & where to print
  • buy used books/textbooks, or rent them, but be careful with ebooks (some profs don’t allow them)
  • plan breaks into your class schedule, or block everything together, whichever works best for you
  • work out the pros & cons of 8am classes and/or night classes
  • plan ahead – have a planner, put things in it, do them
    • fake deadlines are a thing (write down earlier deadlines, trick yourself into meeting them, bask in satisfaction)
  • grades won’t be what they were in high school
    • keep in mind GPA values: a 3.5 will see you graduating with honours
  • be nice to the departmental administrative staff, thank them for helping you (even with small things)
  • office hours versus emailing profs: both will get your questions answered (probably) but if you can go and talk in person, do it
  • profs & TAs are people too, they have lives, they have bad days
  • if something comes up, talk to your prof, be honest but don’t overshare, just show them you’re trying
  • on that note, try

Keep reading

How the signs are Misunderstood

Aries~ A lot of people think Aries is a very traditionally “masculine” sign, in the sense that they take control and are very tough. They don’t feelphased by the cruelties of life? Right? Nope, Aries is the baby of the zodiac and approaches life with an almost niave optimism. They are very sensitive, amd while they are very resilent amd strong, people tend to overestimate them. Others tend to put them in situations that deep down overwhelm them.

Taurus~ Some may view this Archetype as very boring, stuck in their ways and emotionally hollow. However, the Taurus archetype tends to express much like a cat.
Their emotions are very internal, steady and subtle. But just because something is subtle… it does not mean it isn’t there.

Gemini~ Two faced. Gossipers. Backstabbers. Boy oh boy, do people love to hate on Gemini. I wonder if it’s just a trend? However Gemini is like a chameleon.
Boundary disillusionment.
Gemini is so easily taken advantage of and confused in this era of technology and social media.
Gemini is actually very free flowing, and stress free when expressed in a healthy way. Gemini can be your best friend, your mother and your wing man all at once.

Cancer~ Overlysensitive, reactive is a better way to put it. The Cancer archetype is very patient, especially with others emotions. They stay calm in chaotic situations. They are your rock and you didn’t even know it, let alone take the time to thank them.

Leo~ Selfish. Leo can be very tolerant, almost to a fault. Leo is very happy go lucky, and wants everyone to have a good time. They are extremely generous, especially with their presence and warmth. They like to make people feel comfortable.

Virgo~ Control freaks. Virgos are very laidback and let loose a lot more than you might think. As long as things have a precise foundation, where they feel safe, why not dance on top of it? Some of the most fun people you will ever meet will have strong Virgo aspects.

Libra~ Hmm maybe Vain? Or shallow? Libra is an air sign. And they think and feel very deeply, they do have an eye for beauty and perfection. They chase after it because why not? Life is short, why not have beautiful things? Libras are very zen and spiritual deep down. They usually only share this with people they are close to, because while they’re friendly to everyone and love to socialize, they also like to keep things to themselves. Libra is actually very private with things they care about.

Scorpio~ Sexual deviants. My god, I could go on and on about this but I’ll spare you. Scorpio is about purity, truth and intimacy.
Intimacy doesn’t always have to be sexual.
For example, A father and his child playing and laughing together; The moment is intimate because their guards are down. There is no facade, or a need to be something your not in order to be loved.
It’s a moment of truth and purity, when humans can truly bond, and love.

Sagittarius~ Wild and free. Not that those are bad things, Sagittarius actually responds very well to organization amd structure. Earth exalts in Sagittarius, while they always seem so carefree, they are very sensitive and put a lot of high expectations on themselves. They feel down when they feel they aren’t fulfilling their highest potential.

Capricorn~ Cold. Standoffish. Capricorn can be so warm and loving it would just blow your mind. While they tend to keep to themselves, They love to have fun. Just keep it simple and let them know a week in advance. They will laugh with you and cry with you and miss you when you leave.

Aquarius~ Know it all. Weirdo. While Aquarius is usually very modern and is always flying forward into the future, They do value traditional things. These things may seem random and misplaced to you, but it makes perfect sense to them. Some see them as cryptic and hard ti understand, but their words flow out so eloquently. So in touch. So grounded.

Pisces~ Self-destructive. Airheads. Pisces can be very into self-help and obscure health facts and practices. For example, using a copper tongue scraper because its good for your kidneys. They love nature and resonate with it so easily. If anything they’re are the most in touch with reality. The reality of emotion. The reality of the things we can’t explain.

i know that people being on their phones has become like a symbol of apathy and uncaring but so many people i know use social media to share love. like yesterday i got to watch a wedding livestreamed to everyone who couldn’t make it. i’ve seen my friend slowly learn how to cope with being a teen mom because of a massive outpouring of “mumblr” support + tips. i’ve seen my friends come out as gay, learn to cook, discover the flaws in their feminism, work for social change, make good life choices, go to amazing places, develop passions, form educated opinions, learn to love themselves. i’ve seen people post the bravest recovery posts and shy political posts and everything in between. 

and i don’t honestly care how edgy you think your art is. what you’re telling me when you draw grey people looking at a white screen is that you don’t care what happens to the other people in your life.

but i do. i care about the boy i’m in a long distance relationship with, but i also care about people i’ve never met. i’ve been following some people for three years and genuinely care about their experiences. i’m glad you’re still in touch with the people you love, even if you’re not paying attention directly to me! i get happy when you finally dump him! i’m sad when your cat gets sick! i give a shit.

i don’t think technology is taking empathy away from us. i think it’s changing it.

Guarded
  • ENTP's friend: I'm such a guarded person.
  • ENTP: (talking to INFP and INFJ "freely" gives away some "secrets" about self)
  • ENTP's friend: I don't know how you can just tell people your life story...
  • *later that day*
  • ENTP: (pokes INTP) Hey, remember my guarded friend?
  • INTP: Vaguely.
  • ENTP: Close enough. What do you think of how she doesn't like to reveal things about herself?
  • INTP: Well, if you don't have much to guard, you'll be that much more careful about what you reveal, right? One coin from a small storehouse is more noticeable than your ENTP warehouse of "WTF-where-did-all-this-sh*t-come-from?!".
  • ENTP: lol
  • INTP: You know it's quite amazing because people think you're being honest and social when you tell a story from your past because the level of detail and theatrics that go into the story-telling, but you really only tell 12-13% of what really happened.
  • ENTP: 12-13%?
  • INTP: Yes, and that's usually enough for people to open up to you and spill one of their valuable guarded secrets. *sigh* Humans are so easily manipulated.
How the signs are Misunderstood

Aries~ A lot of people think Aries is a very traditionally “masculine” sign, in the sense that they take control and are very tough. They don’t feelphased by the cruelties of life? Right? Nope, Aries is the baby of the zodiac and approaches life with an almost niave optimism. They are very sensitive, amd while they are very resilent amd strong, people tend to overestimate them. Others tend to put them in situations that deep down overwhelm them.

Taurus~ Some may view this Archetype as very boring, stuck in their ways and emotionally hollow. However, the Taurus archetype tends to express much like a cat.
Their emotions are very internal, steady and subtle. But just because something is subtle… it does not mean it isn’t there.

Keep reading

KLANCE FIC REC LIST #1/?

2

I know I never make original content but here we have it, a fic rec list from yours truely! I’ll say the rating and give the discription, and my opinion as well. Always check tags before reading! BTW these are not in order at all!!

_____________________

Every Colour You See

“Lance always wanted to be an artist. But after a car accident, he’s left with a rare disorder called monochromacy; making him unable to see any colour.
Keith is a rebellious foster kid with a photographic memory and a passion for drawing, making safe places in his art, pieced together through photos in his mind…”

Rating: Teen and Up, 13 Ch; 39K words, Ongoing TW: violence, panic attacks, car accidents, PTSD, check tags on work before reading.

My opinion: From whats there so far, it’s full of support for each other and full of equal panic and angst so read carefully.

_____________________

Not That Bad

“…College AU featuring coffee shops, silly rivalries, motorcycles, arcade games, friendships, and lots of warm, fluffy feelings that are both confusing and delightful all at the same time.”

Rating: Mature, 12 Ch; 68K words, complete TW: anxiety attacks

My Opinion: This whole work is amazing, it’s well written and it had motercycle Keith who doesn’t want that. Keith is shy, unrelated to Voltron, but the author made it work very well!

______________________

On Thin Ice

“…This multi-chapter fic chronicles the lives of a hockey player named Keith who gets forcibly enlisted into figure skating lessons by his brother, Shiro, to “work on his footwork”. There he meets a pompous - yet talented - figure skater named Lance and gets swept away by both the sport and the skater.” 

Rating: Mature, 9 (long) Ch; 150K words, Ongoing TW: anxiety attacks, SLOWBURN

My Opinion: I can not get enough of this fic, it has me waiting for the next update with antcipation at all times of the day, do not read if you care about social life. It’s so well written that lance feels tangible tbh. You get sassy interactions and a deep backstory that’s been yet to be released, although I have some ideas…

ALSO: Please go check out @soottea and @wardenalistair the former being an offical artist and co auther to the later, they are amazing and answer questions and are just generally lovely people! you can look through the tag OTI on my tumblr for some art!

______________________

Never Saw You Coming

“Three months in space on his own would have been fine. Three months in space with Lance McClain is a whole other fucking story.”

Rating: Mature, 1 (long) Ch; 47K words, Complete TW: anxiety attacks, Mental Torture, Slurs 

My Opinion: This fic was super sharp and harsh on Keith’s side of things, and it stays constant as you read through up until the very (very) end where everything falls into place and it all becomes soft. I love klance *swoons*

_______________________

What are you willing to do?

“They fuck in the Red Lion.”

Rating: Mature, 1 Ch;4K words, Complete 

My Opinion: It’s the discription tbh nothing aside from it, read the tags :*

_______________________

Don’t Break Connection, Baby

“Keith works part-time as a phone sex operator and receives a prank call from Lance. This does not go as planned for Lance. Thus begins the adventure of our dear sweet goofball continuing to call Keith to fuck with him (but not like fuck fuck with him…at least not yet)…”

Rating: Mature, 10 Ch; 38K words, Complete no major warnings but read the tags

My Opinion: This is so good, it has more plot than I expected and it’s actually super sweet. Keith does the hair thing and Lance falls for it as much as I do.

________________________

Dirty Laundry

“Lance makes the mistake of telling his Mom he has a boyfriend coming home with him for Christmas. Keith makes the mistake of agreeing to be Lance’s ‘fake boyfriend’.” 

Rating: Mature, 9 Ch; 85K words TW: Homophobic slurs, Anxiety, Violence 

My Opinion: SO GOOD, it moves at the perfect pace and you can watch them fall in love from miles away. It is amazing and theres so many times where it hurts to continue reading but you do anyway~

________________________

call me, beep me

“(00:31) Do you think she gave me the wrong number on purpose?
(00:31) Or was it a genuine mistake?
(00:32) Like maybe she writes funny and I misread it?
(00:32) Some of the numbers do look a little dodgy…
(00:33) Cause, you know, her threes could very easily be poorly formed eights? And maybe she writes her sevens like her ones?
(00:45) What
(00:46) The
(00:46) Fuck???
(00:47) Oh good, you are awake! “

Rating: General Audience, 10 Ch; 85K words 

My opinion: UgH this is so sweet and I am in love, they’re all in college I think and pidge and hunk are the best wingmen. 

__________________________

I bet you look good on the dancefloor

“So like in ‘Step Up’?”


Allura shrugs. “Now that you put it like that - yes. I guess it’s just like in ‘Step Up’.”


The smile that she sends Shiro’s way - followed by a shy wave, eugh - is sickening to say the least, and Lance

still

doesn’t believe in dance camps”

Rating: Teen and Up, 7 Ch; 43K words TW: Shiro is shot, but he lives, 

My opinion: The dance fic everyone needs, and meme lance, pidge, hunk group.

____________________________

This is it for now, but I can assure you I’ll be back!! please message me about literally any of these fics, I love to discuss <3

Matty’s Interview with The Sunday Times Style

I wish I had a teenage daughter. Why? Because here I am with Matt Healy, the frontman of the 1975, who has just offered to take his shirt off in order to give me a tattoo tour. There’s the one dedicated to his nana; his mum, Denise “Loose Women” Welch, is on his foot; his dad, Tim “Auf Wiedersehen, Pet” Healy, is on his arm; and his brother, Louis, on the back of a calf; there’s the one dedicated to William Burroughs, the author of his favourite ever book, Queer; then there’s the one on the inside of his left wrist… of his passport number. “I got bored of being constantly woken up by a woman offering me a landing card while my tour manager, who always carries my passport, is conked out somewhere behind me. I thought it would be useful. It’s really all I need on a plane.

Welcome to the world of the 1975, whose second album, I Like It When You Sleep, for You Are So Beautiful yet So Unaware of It (yes, really), went straight to No 1 in both America and the UK last year, and who won the best band award at the Brits in February. They have just announced that their third album, Music for Cars, will be out next year, and when we meet they are about to go on tour, kicking off in Mexico and ending in July at Latitude Festival in Suffolk, where they will headline alongside Fleet Foxes and Mumford & Sons. If you’re not familiar with their music — think Pete Doherty mixed with One Direction, maybe — it’s probably because, like me, you’re too old. That said, Mick Jagger, whom the band supported when the Stones played Hyde Park in 2013, is a huge fan — so fond of their hit single Chocolate, he has been known to put it on after dinner for guests.

Yeah, I remember that gig,” says the 28-year-old Healy, with a faint Northern accent. “It was before I had my eyes lasered and I wasn’t wearing my glasses. Pointless. There were 50,000 people there and I could only see about four of them, but out of the corner of my eye I could just make out this gyrating figure and it was Jagger dancing to Chocolate. Mick Jagger — can you f****** believe it?

Keep reading

7

At university I learnt how proper preparation and rehearsal can make doing presentations a lot easier, they don’t need to be a big deal! I just wish my teenage self knew this…I can’t tell you how many projects I did last minute because I was nervous and didn’t want to think about presenting. 

  • English:

i have a virtual life, sorry mom 

i’m too fab for ur bullshits 

allergic to stupid people

i’m too busy being fabulous 

bad vibes

zombies eat brains, relax, you are safe

hahaha it’s obvious that i don’t have a social life

idiots here, idiots there, idiots everywhere 

my mom says im cool

but who cares???

do not care about your opinion

to glam to give a damn

welcome to nobody cares

love, idols, sadness and others drugs 

♡ pizza aka life saver ♡

  • Português:

não gostou manda virus

seje menas

não costumo pisar em que já esta no chão

Ƭᖇ〇ᑕᗩ 〇 ᗩᖇǤᑌᗰᕮᘉƬ〇 ₣〇₣ᗩ

se eu soubesse que iria virar (seu fandom) teria saido na primeira punheta do meu pai

cuidado, tem pedófilos no site

não tenho paciência pra quem ta começando agora

alô, controle de animais? tem uma vaca olhando minha bio

vacilao morre cedo tio

usando google maps pra descobrir onde ta essa moral que voce acha que tem

ou vc cala a boca ou fica com ela fechada

vai dormi flor amanha vc tem que acorda cedo pra lambe o chao onde eu vo pisa

deus te ama eu nao

eu mim garanto 

  • Simbolos:

➸☑ ☒ ☓☟ ☠ ☡ ☢ ☣ ☤ ☥ ☦ ☧ ☨ ☩ ☪ ☫ ☬ ☭ ☮ ☯

➹◎♩♫♭♪♯♬♮♫♯☁☀☃☂♣♥♪♫☼♀♂♦✗✘✚✪✣✤✥☠

♦ ♠ ♥ ♣ ♢ ♤ ♡ ♧☽ ☾● ◯ ☚ ☛ ☜ ☝ ☞ ☟ ✌ ♻ ♼ ♽

☼ ☀ ❂ ☁ ☂ ☃ ☄ ☾ ☽ ❄ ☇ ☈ ⊙ ☉ ℃ ℉ ° ❅ ✺ ϟ

웃 ღ ♥ ♡ ❤ ❥ ❦ ∴ △ ∞ ☆ ★ ✖ 。◕‿◕。®™☏℡゚✤

❝❞✥ ✦ ✧ ✩ ✫ ✬ ✭ ✮ ✯ ✰ ✱ ✲ ✳ ❃ ❂ ❁ ❀ ✿ ✾ ✽

✼ ✻ ✺ ✹ ✸ ✷ ₪ ❃ ❂ ❁ ❀ ✿ ✾ ✽ ✼ ✻ ✺ ✹ ✸ ✷

✶ ✵ ✴ ❄ ❅ ❆ ❇ ❈ ❉ ❊ ❋ ❖ ▲▼△▽⊿◤◥ ◣◥●••●

❢ ❣ ✐ ✎ ✏ ✍ ✆ ☎ ✄ † ✞ ✝ ✛ ✙ ރ ⌚ ▧ ▨ ▦ ▩

⇤ ⇥ ⇦ ⇧ ⇨ ⇩ ⇪ ⌦ ⌧ ⌫ ➫ ➬ ➩ ➪ ➭ ➮ ➯ ➱

⇌ ⇍ ⇎ ⇏ ⇐ ⇑ ⇒ ⇓ ⇔ ⇕ ⇖ ⇗ ⇘ ⇙ ⇚ ⇛ ↺ ↻

⇜ ⇝ ⇞ ⇟ ⇠ ⇡ ⇢ ⇣ ↩ ↪ ↫ ↬ ↭ ↮ ↯ ↰↱ ↲ ↳↴

↵ ↶ ↷ ↸ ↹ ↼ ↽ ↾ ↿ ⇀ ⇁ ⇂ ⇃ ⇄ ⇅ ⇆ ⇇ ⇈ ⇉ ⇊

← ↑ → ↓ ↔ ↕ ↖ ↗ ↘ ↙ ↚ ↛ ↜ ↝ ↞ ↟ ↠ ↡ ↢ ↣ ↤

↥ ↦ ↧ ➟ ➡ ➢ ➣ ➤ ➥ ➦ ➧ ➨ ➚ ➘ ➙ ➛ ➜ ➝ ➞ ➸

What Now?

DEANxFem!ReaderXZico

Genre: Angst

Word Count:3416

Description: You and dean have been together for several years. He met you through a friend of his sometime after his career took off. You knew what his career would entail but you did’t know how cold he would become after it. What happens when you guys get in a fight and you both say things you probably shouldn’t? What will you do and where will you go? Read to find out. 

Inspired by: What Now By: Rihanna 

Originally posted by deantheofficial

Keep reading

Too Much Pressure

Hey angels!
This one is a bit shorter, hope you enjoy it anyway. Feedback is always appreciated. xx

Also, please note that my mother tongue isn’t English so there might be some mistakes. Feel free to correct me if I made mistakes!

Requested by @littlemisscaptainfandom: Could you do a fic with Reggie and the reader where he comforts her after she panics big time over exams because she is pretty useless at maths and has never failed anything in her life because people expect so much from her? (Sorry, this is pretty much my life right now) x

Pairing: Reggie Mantle x Reader
Warnings: none I guess
Words: 825

It’s that time of year again where students are stressing themselves out; where some of them cry most of the time due stress; where some of them don’t do anything but sitting in their rooms, isolating themselves from the outside, and studying non-stop. It’s exams time. The horror of every student. Where others still enjoy their lives and meet up with their friends, I’m one of those people, who are just thinking about studying and good grades. School matters more than having a social life. It’s been like this my entire life.

Since I was little I’ve been taught that doing mistakes is unacceptable; that failing is unacceptable. Being any less than perfect would be a disappointment to my parents, so I work hard on not making mistakes, not even small ones. Don’t get me wrong, I love my parents and I’m glad I have them, but sometimes it feels like they care more about our image than me as an individual.

That’s why I’m currently sitting in the library with dozens of textbooks in front of me, my eyes focused on the words and numbers. Math’s always been a weakness of mine. As hard as I try it seems like it’s impossible for me to memorize all these formulas. Slowly but surely I can feel the panic rise in me. There’s a heavy feeling in my chest when I think of how disappointed my parents will be when I fail this exam.

This can’t happen, I think to myself, Come on, Y/N, you can’t let them down. Taking a deep breath, I try to focus on the book, which is laying right in front of me. It doesn’t matter how hard I try, nothing in this book makes sense to me. The panic rises even more. My vision starts to get blurry, my heart beats so fast I’m afraid it’ll jump out of my chest. Even my mouth gets drier and drier each second that’s passing by. It’s getting harder to breathe, my throat’s closing itself. Not now, Y/N, hell will be loose. You have to keep going. The first tear escapes my eye, making its way down my cheek. Frustrated I wipe it away and sniffle. Dammit. Deep in my thoughts I don’t notice how someone sits down beside me.

A hand on my shoulder pulls me out of my own world. “Hey, Y/N, is everything alright?”, a familiar deep voice asks me. I look to my left. Reggie. A small smile forms on my face. Despise what most people might think Reggie has always been nothing but friendly to me. I can’t say how and when but we became friends a while ago. Honestly, he’s the only one who I can rely on. He’s been there for me when no one else was. We share most secrets with one another. Of course, I’m not a fan of his behavior towards some persons, but I’m trying to change that.

“Yeah,” I say quietly. He raises an eyebrow, obviously not believing me. “What is it? You know, you can talk to me.” I sigh and look at my hands, which are playing with the hem of my shirt. “I don’t get this stuff,” I murmur, gesturing to the books. I take a deep breath, before continuing to speak, “How should I meet everyone’s expectations when I can’t even get the simplest things?” I swallow hard as I think of letting everyone down. Tears making their way out of my eyes, leaving wet marks on my cheeks. “No one’s expecting things from you,” he softly says, wrapping his arm around my shoulder. “You don’t know my parents. For them is failing a tragic. For most parents it’s okay if their kids make mistakes. But not for mine. If you make one, you’re a loser, a failure, a disappointment.”

“I can’t disappoint them, they will hate me,” I sniffle, leaning in on Reggie. His grip tightens, giving me a secure feeling. “Don’t worry. I’ll help you, but first of all you need to get your mind off,” he smiles, wiping my tears away and pressing a light kiss on my temple. “Reggie, didn’t you hear what I said I-” The boy cuts me off, “I know, I know. But you can’t sit inside and studying your ass off all day. Once in a while you gotta have fun” I open my mouth to protest but before I could say anything, I get cut off, again. “No buts.” I sigh, but can’t help the smile that forms on my face. “Thank you, Reg. You really are my hero,” I whisper, wrapping my arms around his waist and hugging him tightly. “Anything for my favorite girl.” He presses another kiss on my temple. The smile on my face gets bigger. I’m grateful for having a person like him in my life, who supports me and accepts me for my imperfect self, not wanting to change me.

One day you’ll wake up and you’ll realize that it doesn’t matter.

It doesn’t matter what others think of you.
It doesn’t matter what others are doing.

Their actions won’t matter.
Their words won’t matter.

One day you’ll wakeup and you’ll stop seeking validation outside of yourself.

You won’t care to update people about what you’re doing 24/7.

You’ll be so busy living life, that you’ll forget to post or tweet about it.

I share with you the parts of my journey that I know can bring some hope, light, inspiration or clarity to your own journey.

I don’t post for the sake of being relevant.
I only post when I truly have something to say or share.

Social media shouldn’t be forced.
Let it flow. Let it be raw. Let it be you.

Life is a beautiful thing when you start living it. #staywoke 👀

anonymous asked:

but same sex attraction has always been the definition of homosexuality, unless you go back to like, invert theory where sexologists thought homosexuals were straight people trapped in the wrong bodies. if you read biology, medical, or psychology textbooks they all say sexual orientation is based on biological sex and same sex attraction is homosexuality. so why should i trust your definition over what i was taught by lgbt organizations and science?? same sex attraction isn't a genital fetish.

“In Michael Kimmel’s sociology of gender textbook, The Gendered Society, he offers us the following two pictures and asks us to decide, based on our gut-level reactions, whether the two individuals pictured are male or female.

If you are like most people, you find, perhaps to your own bewilderment, that the first individual seems male despite the female pubic hair pattern and apparent female genitalia and the second individual seems female despite the presence of a penis and scrotum.

Kimmel suggests that this is because, in our daily life, we habitually judge individuals as male or female on the basis of their secondary sex characteristics (e.g., body shape, facial hair, breasts) and social cues (e.g., hair length) and not, so much, their primary sex characteristics (i.e., their genitalia).

In that sense, Kimmel argues, social cues and secondary sex characteristics “matter” more when it comes to social interaction and gender is really about gender (socially constructed ideas about masculinity and femininity), not so much about sex (penises and vaginas).”

https://thesocietypages.org/socimages/2014/09/12/how-do-we-decipher-sex-in-daily-life/

And lots more sources in http://howprolifeofyou.tumblr.com/tagged/sex

But, like, why would I care about arguing with someone who clearly came into my inbox with their mind already made up lol

#transphobia

anonymous asked:

I don't know if you did this number, but if not, then please number 20. :-)

I’m not even sure what this is tbh it just popped into my head

—–

“Something’s clearly wrong,” Beca said, casting an anxious glance at Chloe, who was still sitting in the corner of the sofa. Her knees were drawn into her chest and she was scrolling on her phone. There was a crease in her forehead she only got when she was frowning. “Maybe if you told me what it was I could help.”

“There’s nothing wrong,” Chloe said, not looking away from her phone.

Beca sighed and ran a hand through her hair. She wasn’t good at this. She wasn’t used to it. Chloe was always the happy one.

“Don’t you have somewhere to be?” Chloe asked. She didn’t say it particularly harshly, but Beca still recoiled slightly.

“No,” Beca said. “We got everything in the studio done today so I thought I’d come home early. I thought you’d be happy to see me.”

It was Chloe’s turn to sigh.

“I am happy to see you.”

“Yeah, you really look it.”

Chloe had to bite her tongue so she didn’t snap back. “It’s just… since you posted that picture of us on your Instagram, some of your fans have been… well, they just aren’t happy that you aren’t single.” Chloe said.

“What?”

Chloe handed Beca her phone so she could read the string of hateful anonymous messages that Chloe had received on her tumblr.

“Oh my god,” Beca said softly. “Chlo’, I’m so sorry. I had no idea this would happen. I thought they’d be happy for me.”

“It’s okay,” Chloe said.

“No it isn’t,” Beca replied. “It is absolutely not okay.” She handed Chloe her phone back. “Baby, I’m so sorry they did this. I’ll post a video or something and tell them to stop.”

“No, don’t do that, it’ll make it worse,” Chloe said. “I’ll just turn off anonymous messages and stay away from social media for a few days.”

“You shouldn’t have to do that,” Beca said.

“I knew something like this would happen,” Chloe said. “Your fans are always so… intense. I knew they’d react strongly to you getting a girlfriend.”

“But we’ve been dating for years!”

“But they’ve only just found out,” Chloe said. “They just want you to be happy. They think I’m some new girl who just showed up. They think I don’t know you and I’m just interested in you because you’re famous.”

“But you make me happy! I’m gonna post something,” Beca said, pulling out her own phone.

“No, you don’t have to.”

“Yes I do,” Beca said.

She scrolled through her photos and found an old selfie of her and Chloe and wrote a long paragraph before posting it to Instagram.

Chloe’s phone buzzed like it always did when Beca posted something.

She clicked on the photo, and read the description.

‘This is my girlfriend @aca-Beale. We’ve been dating for around five years. This photo was taken on the day we graduated college together. She’s been my best friend since the day I met her. She makes me feel so loved and so happy and I love her more than I thought humanly possible. She has been there through all my highs and lows. When I got rejected for the third time by a record label, she stayed up all night with me while I cried. And a year later when I got my first number 1, she stayed up all night with me and partied. She is everything to me.
I know you weirdos care about me, but sending my girlfriend hateful messages online isn’t cool. She is the most important thing to me in the world, and today I came home to find her practically in tears because people who call themselves my fans hurt her. I want to be able to share cool moments of my life with you guys, but if this carries on then all of my social media will go away. I know most of you would never do something like this, but I’m hoping you can spread the word that it’s not okay. I love you guys, but I love her more.’

Chloe wiped her eyes and Beca pulled her into her arms.

“I love you too,” she said.

“I love you more.”

“It isn’t a contest,” Chloe said, finally smiling.

“Luckily for you. I’d definitely be winning.”

honestly my feelings towards HeR right now are like an ex that just broke up with me and left with no warning and when it happened i was really upset like what was wrong with me or with our relationship because i thought we had something real there and they just left me all of a sudden and i was super heartbroken and just waiting for the day they’d change their mind and come back and we could pretend like none of this ever happened and things would be back to normal

but like now the more that i think about them the more i realize they weren’t ever actually that good to me in the first place. like yeah a couple times a year we had some good times but when i’d describe them to my friends and family they’d always kind of raise one eyebrow and when they’d see their social media presence it was just kind of embarassing. and like in the time that they’ve just disappeared with no updates i’ve become a totally better person. like i’ve gone off to school and made new friends and had all these experiences and i know where i’m going in life and what i wanna do and i’m so passionate about things that they never cared about but that i have time to focus on now that they’re out of my life

and like maybe someday they will come back like i desperately wanted them to when they first left and maybe i’ll meet up with them to see how they’re doing and maybe get some closure on what happened but even if they don’t… i’d be OK

In regards to common accusation that feminists don’t care about social issues facing men:

I’ve spoken to men in my life concerning men’s social issue for years. A large number of them don’t want to discuss it.

Full stop, they do not want to talk about the issues feminists are accused of ignoring or minimizing.

I’ll never forget when my peer group was newly in college and a male friend told us a story about this woman he was not at all interested in drugged him at a frat party and had sex with him anyway. I looked at him in horror and asked “Uh, did you report her? To anyone?” He shrugged his shoulders, another guy said “Why would he, he still got laid.” My clumsy 19 year old self tried to find a way to say “Because you were raped?!” but the topic was shut off with more uncomfortable jokes.

I’ve brought up how men aren’t allowed to express their emotions in a healthy manner and gotten masturbation jokes in return. I’ve brought up how men are less likely to seek professional help for serious issues and gotten eye rolls or useless comments about manly perseverance. I have discussed the lack of services available for male victims of domestic abuse and asked why they couldn’t just call a gay helpline. 

Dudes, I know a lot of feminists who take men’s issues seriously as they are in fact a part of gender equality. It’s you dudes yourselves who aren’t taking it seriously. You’ve got a culture that has intentionally shielded itself from female critique and brushes off any legitimate criticism of how society has failed to raise healthy men. Instead what you have is a reactionary movement that doubles down on the issues you claim we ignore and reinforces them as good and natural.

If you want to address these things, you are going to have to do it yourselves. I’ll be a willing and happy ally, no doubt, but men need to discuss these things with men in an earnest and honest fashion and create your own dedicated support networks, because men don’t want to listen to us about it. And I can’t think of anything more useless than paying lip service to a demographic that never really wanted it in the first place. The next time you want to ask “Why aren’t feminists talking about this?!” ask yourself instead “Why aren’t I talking about this with other men?”

Transphobes will be blocked, no exceptions, no matter how generally nice I think you are, no matter whether I think you’re malicious or just ignorant.

I tolerate Derick’s right to have his views.  Tolerance doesn’t mean never disagreeing, arguing or finding views horrific. 

To use my own life as an example, I 100% don’t care if you think being gay is a ticket to Hell.  I genuinely don’t.  We can still be friends.  I DO care if you make it my problem.  Bugging me about it makes it my problem.  Ranting about it on social media especially with hundreds of thousands of followers whose opinions you influence, makes it my problem.  Spreading misinformation makes it my problem.  You have the right to your judgments (at least in my book; God’s says something different if I recall); you do not have the right for them to go unjudged in turn.  

I’m not getting further involved in this.  But I know where I stand.  And the thousands of trans youths who struggle with this shit every day of their lives are more important to me than people on the internet thinking I’m close-minded.  When it comes to sex and gender being the same thing?  When it comes to gender identity being a biological binary only?  When it comes to the idiotic notion that hormone replacement therapy for trans kids is somehow easy to get on a whim and doesn’t take years of psychiatric and medical evaluations that the kid is ultimately expected to be the driving force behind?  Yeah, my mind is closed.  Because there are opinions and there are facts.  You are entitled to your own opinions.  You are not entitled to your own facts.