dm collection

Context: Playing a Homebrew campaign and my Elf Ranger, along with a Half-Elf Paladin, Gnome Druid, and Human Monk are fighting against our first BBEG, but we’re getting our asses beat and running out of ideas on how to outsmart his moves.

Monk OOC: “Can I like? Throw my old quarter-staff at him?”

DM: *Sighs* “No, you can’t throw it at him..”

Me & Two Other Players In OOC: *Collectively groan*

DM: “Okay, okay, fine. You can throw it at him but you have to roll a crit to successfully hit.”

Monk: *Rolls a natural 20*

DM: *Has this ‘are you real bro’ look on his face* “Ok fine now you get to roll two d-6 for damage times 2..”

Monk: *Rolls two 6’s on two d-6*

DM: “God damn it- How do I..” *Sighs* “The Monk, with a mighty heave of his arm, sends his old quarter-staff violently flying through the air. The entire party, watches in awe as some-fucking-how, the staff manages to maneuver forty feet and smashes against the side of the prophet’s head. A loud thunk fills the air before the prophet falls over, groaning for a moment before he slowly gets back to a stand. Enraged, he snatches the quarter-staff that was thrown at him off the floor and firmly clutches it in his hand.”

Monk OOC: “Oh god, he’s not gonna throw it back at me, is he?”

Kuro (Dark Shiro) Week!

We are so very happy to bring to you Kuro Week 2017! A week dedicated to our lovely dark Shiro~ This event will take place June 18th-25th with a bonus day ;B

For those of you who don’t know how Voltron weeks work: There is a prompt/theme for each day an you guys create content related to these themes and post them in the tag #kuroweek2k17 where we will reblog them onto this blog for all to see and enjoy!

Prompts/Themes:

  • Day 1 (June 18th) - Madness
  • Day 2 (June 19th) - Identity/Memory
  • Day 3 (June 20th) - Reflection/Mirror
  • Day 4 (June 21th) - Betrayal/Deception
  • Day 5 (June 22th) - NIghtmares
  • Day 6 (June 23th) - Mind control
  • Day 7 (June 24th) - Scars/Injury

Bonus Day! (June 25th) - Free Day!

Read the rules

Questions? Send us an ask or DM us! :D

NEW: Ao3 Collection here!

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make me choose;; @lunalocegood​ asked scorbus or scorose

Scorpius smiled shyly, still not used to Albus’ constant praise. “Stop,” he said humbly. “I couldn’t have done it without you, honestly, I probably couldn’t do much without you.”

“Me?” it was Albus’ turn to turn away shyly. “Scorp, you’re the brilliant one. You’re always the one saving both our asses. How is it that you couldn’t do much without me?”

“You make me brave, Albus,” Scorpius admitted quietly, tucking a strand of hair behind Albus’ ear. And with that they were kissing again, and maybe the whole kissing in a train compartment thing wasn’t so new for them after all. (read on ao3)

Starting a campaign in medias res: hardcore version
  • DM: *collects sheets* OK, George, what are you playing?
  • George: *beaming* A fighter!
  • DM: Cool, you're with the City Guard. Joan, what are you playing?
  • Joan: *beaming* A thief!
  • DM: Cool, you're in chains. You've just been sentenced to death for stealing. Georgie here is dragging you to the gallows.
  • Joan: ...
  • DM: Steve, what are you playing?
  • Steve: *reluctant* A cleric?
  • DM: Cool, you're there to perform the last rites. Begin!
flickr

Not what the eye sees! - press advert photo for Marler, London, c1977 by mikeyashworth

<br /><i>Via Flickr:</i>
<br />How very contemporary - three escapees from Laura Ashley and a shaggy dog holding up a very shiney London Transport Daimler DMS-type bus on a rainly day reputedly in south London - well the bus is a 93 to Wimbledon station. It forms an advert for the London company of Marler's who were involved in print technology and I'm fairly certain the road crossers are 'sencilled' on to the road shot - the leading ankle is somwhat disassociated from the pavement and that dog's fron paw looks like a shaggy story! Anyhow - wonderful fashion and a lovely new bus! The inset shows a slightly drier day and a bemused &quot;lollypop man&quot; - the UK's school crossing patrol scheme.
#Deceiver

Monk: Okay, the five evil gods are the Slaver of Souls, the Lion, the Fellwind, the Demon King, and what was the fifth one again?

DM(me): The Deceiver. Father of lies, distrust, and betrayal.

Fighter: Didn’t (random NPC #5) betray us?!

Monk: Was he the Deceiver?!

Barbarian: No, because I killed him and he wasn’t a god.

Monk: how would you know?! He could have DECEIVED you!

DM: guys, it’s not-

Fighter: Well what about the lord dude, he didn’t tell us why he sent us in that cave.

Monk: Nah brah, it’s gotta be that ghost chick because she’s caused all of this janky bizz.

Barbarian: So you’re saying this is all connected?!

Monk: THE DECEIVER’S BEEN HERE THE WHOLE TIME!!!

Ranger: Heh, weird.

DM: Actually, each of you have crossed the Deceiver at least once.

Party: *collective stare*

DM: Well, not you. *points to barbarian*

Barbarian: Oh great!

Monk: IT’S ALL CONNECTED!!!

Fighter: Scary.

Barbarian: WE MUST FIND THIS DECEIVER AND KILL HIM.

DM: … or her.

Monk: NUUUUUUUU

Fighter: Illuminati!

Monk: BRAAHHHHH!

DM: what?

Monk: It’s a conspiracy!

Fighter: hash-tag Deceiver!

DM: you guys are reading into this way too much.

Monk: *makes triangle with hands* DECEIVER EQUALS ILLUMINATI!

Barbarian: THAT’S SO FRICKIN SWEET!!!

DM: guys it’s not-

Fighter: My D20 has triangles!!!

Monk: ILLUMINATI MADE OUR DIIICE!

DM: guys, you’re gonna wake my neighbors.

Barbarian: Truly, this Deceiver’s treachery goes deep!

DM: would someone just roll initiative already?

Barbarian: *points at DM* HE’S THE DECEIVER!

DM: What?!

Monk: Brahh.

Fighter: Brahh.

Barbarian: *slams fist on the table. Dice, minis, and cheetos go flying* WHO IS THIS DECEIVER?!

DM: That’s it! No more all-nighter sessions! You’ve all clearly consumed too much Mt. Dew!

Ranger: I’m going to roll insight check to see if I know who the Deceiver is. *rolls*

DM: What? No- *dice lands*

*COLLECTIVE GASP*

Ranger: NAT TWENTY!

Barbarian: Brah!

Fighter: Brah.

Monk: BRAHH!!!

DM: Oh Crap.

To all worldbuilders, GMs, and game designers: THANK YOU for all your work

Originally posted by historyvikings

I dreamed a limitless book,
A book unbound,
Its leaves scattered in fantastic abundance.

On every line there was a new horizon drawn,
New heavens supposed;
New states, new souls.

One of those souls,
Dozing through some imagined afternoon,
Dreamed these words,
And needing a hand to set them down,
Made mine.

~ Clive Barker, Abarat

Untrustworthy Dragonborn Sorcerer

So, we just started our first campaign, where I’m the DM, consisting of an introvert half-orc barbarian Gorron, who looks at himself as an ox whisperer, an introvert dwarven cleric of Oghma named Theobald, who’s greatest fear is that anyone will discover his bald head, a wood elf monk named Sintaulë from the Feywilds who’s allergic to pollen and likes to throw knives, and a dragonborn sorcerer, professor Lance Firefists. The entire group is level 1, and they are travelling towards the town of Phandalin, transporting some wares for a dwarf patron of their. None of the group members had met each other before the patron introduced them earlier the same day, and the fumbly dragonborn made a bad first impression. 

The sun sets and the group decides to make camp in the middle of the road. The night goes by without problem, as they each keep watch for a few hours. 

Last is Lance, the professor, and this is the exchange that followed. 


Lance (OOC): Is everybody asleep. 
DM: Yes, except for the oxen. You can hear Gorron snoring heavily.
Lance (OOC): Is there any large rocks around here?
The other players (OOC): *burst out laughing*
Gorron (OOC): I knew we couldn’t trust him. He is going to murder us in our sleep before our first encounter.
DM: Gorron, you’re asleep and doesn’t notice anything. Lance, how big rocks are you looking for?
Lance: Like, not to big. Big enough that I can lift them and collect them. 
DM: Well, the road you’re on is kind of gravelly, and there are a few rocks on the side of the road. 
Lance: I would like to pick them up without awakening my group.
Gorron (OOC): Can I roll perception to see if I can hear him preparing to kill us? 
DM: Gorron, roll a perception at disadvantage, as you are asleep, contested by Lance’s Stealth throw. 
* Lance rolls a 4. Gorron rolls a 2. 
DM: Lance, you manage to collapse a part of the road pulling out the stones. But Gorron is dreaming sweetly about running around the field with a few animals, and doesn’t sense a thing at the moment. 
Lance (OOC): I make a circle of the stones and would like to cast Firebolt. 
Gorron (OOC): You can cast Fireball at level 1? Are you going to burn us or smash our heads in? 
Lance (OOC): I cast FireBOLT at the grass inside the circle. 
DM: What are you doing? 
Lance (OOC): I’m making a campfire. *rolls for attack. 7. I let him hit. 
DM *rolls to see if the nearby wolves notice the fire. Rolled a 1*
DM *rolls to see if the fire spreads. rolls a 20* 
DM: So, you sit enjoy the flames for a little bit before before noticing in your half-sleep that they’ve started to spread, and now cover an entire 5*5 feet. 
Lance (OOC): I quickly use my cantrip Control Flames to extinguish the fire and pretend like nothing, sitting alone in the darkness without any vision whatsoever. (All the others had Darkvision)
Lance (OOC): Did anybody notice? 
DM: Only the oxen. They’re looking at you as if you’re stupid. 

The next day, he successfully managed to bluff the mistrusting group into thinking that he didn’t start the fire that left the burnmarks in the grass straight next to the dwarf and the half-orc. And then he managed to almost start a forest fire when he missed with his next Firebolt aimed for a goblin Gorron was fighting. He is still not to be trusted.

Head of Security (DM): “I need to collect your weapons before letting you enter.”

Rouge (to DM): I’m going to slight of hand so he doesn’t see my weapons, then bluff so he thinks I’m unarmed.

DM: “Your weapons? You. You mean your rocket launcher?”

Rouge:*nat crits his slight of hand*

DM (while shaking his head): “HmmmNo.”

Head of Security (DM): *crit fails perception roll*

Rouge: *passes bluff check*

Head of Security (DM): ….
….
*deeply inhales*
*sighhh*


*siggghhhhhhhhhhh*


“… WELCO-

7

been feelin’ icky the past week or so, but Dark Magician Girl finally came in after a few week’s worth of waiting and I feel a little better!! (///´ ▽ `///)ノ err yeah she’s the last of my impulsive desires. I’m really loving the detail on her.