dldmotherhood

Being a mum is…

Waking up at all hours of the night and early morning to cuddle your child to sleep.

Seeing your child in pain and wanting to take it all away and feel it for them instead.

Worrying 24 hours a day because you want your child to feel safe, protected and pain free. 

Putting everyone before yourself because you’re finally not the most central person in your life anymore.

Skipping meals because of lack of time.

Learning to live with mess and learning to live with it happily. 

Learning to make sacrifices.

Filling your days with playfulness, cuddles and new learning experiences. 

Being pooped on and not even blinking twice.

Never getting frustrated because your changing the fifth nappy in a row. The little one just won’t stop pooping. 

When one little smile can turn everything back around again.

When one little laugh can make your day complete.

Wiping away little tears.

Little yawns melting your heart.

When every day is filling your hearts with joy, happiness and memory after memory.

Being a mum is…

the most important, 

exciting,

happiest,

best damn thing I have ever done and will ever do.

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Coping with the dreaded sick bug 

There are always things in life that you are not prepared for. That’s a little obvious, no? That’s just life. We grow, we change, we develop and we learn. If someone two or three years ago told me I’d have a little seven month old baby by the time I was 24 I think I would have laughed in their face. But I’m here now, 24, with a beautiful little baby and I’m as happy as can possibly be. I’ve adjusted and I’ve loved every single moment of being a mother. There are things that nobody warns you about - I guess because people may think nothing of it. During my pregnancy I just assumed I would have a baby that slept right through the night from the get go. Boy, was I wrong. How silly of me to even think that! But if you’ve never had a baby before then you really can be a little naive. 

It may sound rather strange, but nobody warned me that babies get sick! Nobody warned me or prepared me for a lot of the challenges that I’ve had to face up to through motherhood, but a sick baby has really struck me by surprise. I woke up last night to Daisy gagging in her bed next to me and panicked, my instinct was to just pick her up and pat her back. She then projectile vomited (Which is rather unlike her) everywhere - and I mean, everywhere. She then had rather unsettled, diarrhea-like, nappies and carried on being sick. I sat up with her all night and when morning came round she seemed her usual happy self. But she still carried on being sick. As a parent seeing your child sick in any form is the most unsettling and heart breaking reality to face. And I have to admit quite openly that it has got me a little down! I wish so much that I could help her. 

Nobody warned me how protective and how madly, deeply in love I would feel with my daughter. Her cries are my worst and her laughter is my favourite.  For a first time mother, seeing her projectile vomit (pretty much from both ends - sorry Daisy!) is completely and utterly heart breaking. It’s mentally challenging as you are to stay calm so that they stay calm too - yet in your head all you want to do is cry and make it all better. 

How I stay calm:

- It sounds silly perhaps - but breathe. When your heart starts racing so does your mind, your thoughts start racing and you may become a little irrational and over panic. Take a moment to consider your breathing. 

- Reassure your little one. 

- Work out if there is any medicine that may help their symptoms. 

- Lots of cuddles, hugs and kisses.

- Have a favourite soft toy near-by.

- Keep the TV on as it will distract attention and keep minds busy.

- And for yourself - grab a nice cup of tea or coffee and snuggle up under a blanket. Try not to over-react. Things are never as bad as they seem and if problems persist just be sure to get an appointment with your local GP. 

A mother’s instinct alongside a mother’s love could take over the world.  

Expectations vs Reality

LABOUR

Expectation: I kind of expected it wasn’t going to be that bad. I know most woman dread labour but I was looking forward to it! I was looking forward to feeling the pain and controlling it in my own little bubble of pain relief. I really thought labour wouldn’t be too bad!  In my head I believed  I’d be early - I thought my waters would break one night, I’d control the pain as much as I could whilst at home and then I’d head over to hospital where I’d have a water birth. My periods were always SO incredibly painful that I really just couldn’t ever imagine a pain worse than that. I’m very relaxed in water and so I was dead set on having a water birth. Or at least having lots of baths in order to calm myself down a little. I knew needles were going to be involved in some form or another and so I just got that fact into my head so I wouldn’t be too scared when it came to it.

Reality: The reality was far from what I expected! Firstly I was so doubtful that Daisy would actually arrive on her due date (which she did!) and I really thought I could handle it all - but I didn’t handle it as well as I thought. When I got taken into hospital and stayed there a few days over night before they classed me in established labour, I thought oh this is fine! I was doing my makeup every morning, getting all nice and fresh, going for little walks around the hospital and just treating it like a little holiday! (even though I despise hospitals - they scare me!) So after I told a midwife I thought I was contracting in such a calm way she didn’t actually believe me, I started to get a little hesitant - i just felt weird - as though I knew it was coming. As soon as I couldn’t handle the pain that was it - I asked for every drug going. I had morphine, fell asleep, woke up when it wore off and insisted I was in labour. They checked me and I was 5cm dilated! Half way there already - what?!! So I insisted straight away that I had an epidural. I surprised myself in reality in a positive way too.. I had all sorts of needles, I stayed calm apart from panicking a little when they told me it was time to push.. I kept saying - are you sure? I’m not sure I can do this. When they took me into labour to help with forceps I panicked so much but was so drowsy I almost fell asleep! In reality labour was far different from what I expected.

RECOVERY

Expectation: I really thought that after giving birth I would be out of the hospital within a day or two at the most. I thought I’d be a little bit sore and perhaps quite tired. I really felt as though my labour would be as natural as possible and that I wouldn’t have forceps or caesarean or anything within that medical category. 

Reality: The reality, to begin with, was exactly how i expected it to be - painful! I was drained completely but I was on such a high that It really didn’t hit me until Daisy was about 2 weeks old. And boy did it hit me hard! My whole body ached. I couldn’t go to the toilet, it hurt to sit down (4th degree tear down below = ouch!!). I have to say that still to this day I wouldn’t say I have fully recovered (and Daisy is now 4 months). It’s a much longer process than I ever expected.

THE SLEEPING 

Expectation: "Maybe I’ll just be in luck and have a baby that sleeps really well and sleeps through the night!|

Reality: Now I look back and think how did I not worry a little about how I’d manage with all the nights? It hit me very, very hard. I love my sleep - just like most 23 year olds, and after everything I went through during labour I was completely shocked that first night at home when Daisy awoke every 2 - 3 hours. I’m not sure why nobody warned me how hard the nights would be? I would ask my mummy friends and they just didn’t seem to find it as hard as I did. I got used to it in the end and now most nights Daisy will sleep through! Oh how naive I was.

TIME TO MYSELF

Expectation: I didn’t even consider making time for myself. I thought that it would still be exactly how it was pre-labour. I thought I’d be a lot busier but still have time to myself to do whatever I wanted. I’ve never been a big party goer so time to myself mostly consists of TV and a cup of tea in my pyjamas. 

Reality: What is this “time to myself?” Some days I have plenty of time to myself. Other days I struggle to every make myself a cup of tea! It all depends on the mood of Daisy. Some days if she’s happy and content I can get all the housework done, do some baking, some blogging a bit of shopping and everything in-between. 

BEING A MUM

Expectation: I had no idea what to expect. I read all the leaflets and all the books but I still could not fathom in my head what it would be like to have this tiny little baby that I had to actually take care off and provide for. I couldn’t image what my life would be like. I did, however think of all the fun things we’d do together. I thought of the cuddles in the evenings watching movies and going to the zoo in the summer. I thought of christmas and birthdays and easter and every holiday in between.I thought of having my best friend with me at all times and how we’d  bond more and more every little day that goes by.

Reality: Poop, sleep, eat & repeat. I have a pooping, crying, screaming little baby machine. I have late nights wanting to cry along with my daughter before she fights herself to sleep. I have days where I’m so exhausted I can hardly keep my eyes open. I have days where I can’t do my makeup or shower. But I have a beautiful and healthy baby. I have a best friend. I have my whole world wrapped into one perfect little girl. I have everything I could ever wished and hoped for and more, all tucked up inside the heart of this tiny little human being. The reality beats my expectations. It beats them out the roof!

Share with me your expectations vs realities! 

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I still look at her every single night before I go to sleep and can’t believe I’m a mother and I’m blessed enough to be given this beautiful little girl. She’s perfect in every sense of the word. I must of done something right in my twenty four years of being alive, because I’ve been graced with this amazing human being, this little girl that I get to see grow up into a little lady. Her smile and her eyes light up every single morning and give me more than every reason to get out of bed and see through the day. I lay in bed at night and I hear her breathing, or hear her let out a little sound, and I can’t help but smile. My daughter. I’m lucky, I’m lucky, I’m so so lucky. 

A new home and a little bit of a hiatus 

This week has been a good week. I received the news that I have been offered a two bed apartment! I’m so happy that we finally get to have our own home together. Our first lovely little home! We’ve been back and forth between places the past few months, but now we have our own home we will be packing up and moving all within a few weeks so it’s a little manic over here - hence the little hiatus. I have also been offered a new job as a trainee media executive, so that’s also going on. My driving test is all booked for January and so things seem to be on the up! I feel like the year is drawing to a lovely close. I hate when people say ‘new year, new me’ because to me, new year is just like any other day (not a big celebrator of it!) but I’m so happy that by the end of the year I will be settled and I can get on with just enjoying life as apposed to trying to 'sort life out’. 

Between jugging all that has been going on we’ve been doing the usual - playgroup, soft play, baking, playing, going for walks, attempting to do some little photoshoots and watching movies. These four photos of Daisy make me laugh.. I wanted to take some pretty photos but all she wanted to do was blow raspberrys and dribble everywhere - cute - kinda, haha. With the colder weather there seems to be less to do - cold walks don’t always turn out to be so much fun. But this chilly weather has got me looking for holidays with plenty of sun, sea, sand and cocktails (and perhaps a little bit of disney.. i.e.. Disneyworld!) - though a nine hour flight with a baby may not be a great idea?

So.. there’s my little current (and perhaps boring) life update for y'all. At least you may know now why it’s quiet over here!