dl:mine

maybe in ten years we will be at least 5 years over and have gone through at least 2 other lovers since. maybe you won’t think of me again until you’re craving a hike in a forest on early Sunday morning and the brunette in your bed would much rather sleep in. maybe I’ll think of you while my lover is at work, when I’m sitting on my bed, surrounded by things that only say “I’m sorry I don’t pay enough attention to you”. maybe when I wake up from a dream of violence, I’ll think of your hand as my new lover clutches mine. maybe you’ll be awake still, laying in your bed, reminding yourself you need to be with someone like me, even if it isn’t me.
—  (R.H)

“I’m not quite sure how I feel right now. I’m not sad nor happy; anger nor bliss occupy me. I want to cry but also hurt others so they feel as I do. I want to feel something but I don’t know what. My body feels numb and my mind is static. My eyes are seeing nothing but meaningless colors and images that should bring me joy. And the music playing in my ear is merely a past lover, whispering sweet nothings to me. I can mell that rain coming but I don’t care to shelter myself.

I want to care about something.

—  Summer Thoughts