13x03 Coda: Unspoken Something
I’m thinking of starting a tag list for my codas, so if you’re interested, shoot me a message. Destiel, 1k, general mopey-ness
Sam watches his brother go, completely unsure of what to say. His grief is different than Dean’s; he’s terrified of ending up the way he did after Dean got dragged to Hell, terrified of becoming the man who’d allowed himself to grow dependent on Ruby. So instead he represses. Talks about openness and feelings until he’s blue in the face before he lets a single one of his own slip free.
He misses Cas and Mom, too. It’s just—well. He’s better at hiding it.
But there’s something in the way Dean’s voice broke on Cas’s name, something about the way he nearly crashed the car on the way back to the bunker with Jack in tow when Zeppelin came on the radio, a quiet gasp of Cas on his lips. Something about his brother’s relationship with the angel that Sam has never quite been able to name.
Well. There’s a lot about Dean he hasn’t been able to name. A lot about Dean he doesn’t want to name.
So instead of going after him, Sam sets about making peanut butter and jelly, trying to ignore the memory of doing just that for Cas once. He tries not to think of what molecules would taste like.
When he finishes, he carts the meal off to what was once Kevin’s room. Now, Jack sits curled in a small ball against the headboard, chin resting on his knees. Sam sets the plate down on his nightstand without a word.
He can probably hear long distances, anyway, and Sam doesn’t want to know how much truth there is to what Dean had said.