ditchwater

Mis-Matched

Right, so I know I haven’t posted anything on my over-sized WIP since April, but here I am starting another fic that I have absolutely no business getting into. At least this one should be shorter than the other (famous last words). Sorry.

Title: Mis-Matched
Rating: M (this is subject to change at the whim of the author’s muses)
Characters: Loki, Sigyn, Frigga, Theoric, and various supporting OCs
Description: This is an attempt to fill the propmt requested by @someillplanetreigns (and now I can’t even tag you!): “you asked for prompts and pairings - I would like to humbly beg for more Logyn? I don’t have a great prompt, but this odd thought is in my head about a way to make the comic plot about Theoric and the marriage into something about marriage by proxy? Maybe something like Loki has the duty of proxy-marrying Sigyn cos Theoric’s in the army, and totally plays everyone by going the whole hog and appearing as Theoric, but then Sigyn, who thought Theoric was dull as ditchwater and Loki is… well, y’know, Loki.”
I’m not sure this is precisely what you wanted, so I apologize in advance for my wayward muses – Loki does what he wants.
Chapter: 1 of 2?
Acknowledgements: thank you @icybluepenguin for serving as one of my favorite institgaors and sounding boards – you rock!

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Mis-Matched, Part 1

Herr Braggison loomed over Sigyn as she slunk down lower into the chair, nose buried deep in her book, brown hands clutching the pages tighter as he moved closer.

“Sigyn — I just received a letter from the All-mother.”

“Mmmhmm.”

“Apparently, the fighting at the front has become entrenched.”

“MmMMMmm.”

“Sigyn!”

“Hmmm?”

“Put the book down and look at me when I speak to you.”

Keep reading

Dungeons, Dragons, & Dives: Fried Roper and Ditchwater

Fried Roper

Ingredients: 

  • 2 Large Boneless chicken breasts, filleted on one end into little strips
  • 2 Eggs
  • 2 cups panko breakcrumbs
  • 1 TBSP Lemon Juice
  • Garlic, Salt, Black Pepper, Red Pepper (to taste)

Directions

Mix the eggs and lemon juice together, beat thoroughly. Mix together the breadcrumbs and spices. Dip Chicken in egg mixture then crumb mixture, covering all little nooks and crannies with breading. Repeat. Bake 340 for 40 minutes! Serve your roper, tentacles splayed!

Sewage Surprise

In pot, combine 1 can green beans, 2 TBSP peanut butter, 1 thinly sliced apple, 1 TSP Soy Sauce, 1 dash ground ginger, 1 dash red pepper. Simmer for 25 minutes on low. IT may not sound good, but it’s delicious!

Ochre Jelly

Mix equal parts Mayo, Grape Jelly, and Coarse Dijon Mustard. Splash in Worcestershire sauce. It’s done. Looks disgusting, taste delicious on the roper!

Ditchwater

Into a pitcher, mix a gallon of orange juice, a flask’s worth of coconut rum, a tablespoon of grenadine, a tablespoon of pink lemonade powder mix, and three drops of blue food color. Stir until you get a nice murky color and enjoy!

Tonight they were in the southeast. The most inaccessible site yet. Butler had been forced to make three trips to the jeep in order to hump the equipment across a stile, a bog, and two fields. His boots and trousers were ruined. And now he would have to sit in the blind with ditchwater soaking into the seat of his pants. Artemis had somehow contrived to remain spotless.
—  Artemis Fowl, p. 71
Folk Magick Reading List

Interested in Folk Magick? 

Not sure where to begin?

Most of the information available on the internet regarding Folk Magick is, at best, rife with errors and misconceptions. At worst, it’s downright dangerous!

The secluded mountains of  Kentucky, Tennessee, Georgia, the Virginias, and the Carolinas provided the isolation to preserve Folk Magick traditions in a way that wasn’t possible in the rest of America. The people of Appalachia held fast to their traditions long after “city folk” discarded them as backwoods superstitions. 

Hoodoo, Conjure, Rootwork, and other forms of folk magick have been the subject of renewed public interest. It seems everyone is borrowing a pinch of this and a dash of that from southern conjure and adding it to their magickal repertoire. Other traditions are appropriating, adapting, and (let’s call it what it is……stealing) cultural traditions and “re-labeling” them as their own. As a result, information is being lost, distorted, and destroyed for future generations.

So, what if you really want to learn Folk Magick?

The best way to learn is directly from an experienced, legitimate conjure worker with several years of experience. Unfortunately, that just isn’t possible for everyone. If you feel you are being called to learn, then start reading! It won’t replace a hands-on apprenticeship with a worker, but it will get you started. 

Dig in and learn everything you can. If you are being called to learn, the teacher you have been looking for might be just around the next corner.

Here are a few suggestions to get you started on your journey. This is by no means an exhaustive list, but it will give you an excellent foundation in Appalachian Folk Magick:

Mountain Magick: Folk Wisdom from the Heart of Appalachia — Edain McCoy

Staubs and Ditchwater: An Intro to HillFolks Hoodoo — Byron Ballard

Ozark Magic and Folklore — Vance Randolph

Folk Medicine in Southern Appalachia — Anthony Cavender

Any and all of the “Foxfire” book series.

The Secret of the Psalms — Godfrey Selig

Long Lost Friend — John George Hoffman

The Red Church — C.R. Bilardi

ColdFlash Stardust AU

Thank you, @tabihe and @farflungstars for reminding me of this with their ColdFlashWave unicorn AU circulating.

Mr. Crimson and I watched Stardust over Christmas and I was reminded how much I LOVE that movie, and couldn’t help thinking ColdFlash.

At first I thought Barry would be the star, and then I realized I was being ridiculous - Len is the star!

Henry Allen was adventurous in his youth and crossed the wall only to meet and fall in love with the captured Princess Nora, who he couldn’t save because she was the prisoner of the evil sorcerer Eobard. But nine months after their encounter, Henry was delivered a beautiful baby boy named Barry that he raised happily.

Now an adult, Barry is hopelessly in love with his best friend Iris - who happens to be in love with someone else, Eddie. And the problem is…Eddie is awesome. He’s a great guy, it’s just…Barry is the one who’s supposed to be with Iris! And he knows that if he can just prove his love to her, she’ll realize her mistake and be with him instead.

Only of course Barry never expresses his love, he pines from afar and tries to woo her quietly, which isn’t working at all. Until one night when they sneak out to watch the stars, Barry gathering the strength to finally confess his feelings, when they see a fallen star. Iris thinks it’s the most beautiful thing she’s ever seen, and Barry vows to get it for her. She tells him not to do anything dangerous, her birthday is months away, and the star fell on the other side of the WALL, but Barry decides to go anyway.

Len is Yvaine, the Fallen Star

Barry is Tristan Thorn

HR is Prince Primus, the nicer if more foolish of the king’s twin sons

Harry is Prince Septimus, the more serious of the twins

James Jesse is Ferdiland “Ferdy” the Fence, a frequent client of Shakespeare

Sara is Captain Shakespeare of the Waverider, a famous pirate

The Legends and Rogues are the pirates – Ray, Jax, Martin, Nate, Amaya, Mark, Shawna, Hartley

Vandal Savage is Lamia, the Dark King of the Witches

Damien Darhk is Mormo, Vandal’s brother

Malcolm Merlin is Empusa, Vandal’s other brother

Henry Allen is Dunstan Thorn, Barry’s father

Iris is Victoria Forester, Barry’s best friend and crush

Eddie is Humphrey, Iris’s boyfriend

Rip is the Wall Guard

Nora is Princess Una, Barry’s mother and captive of the witch Ditchwater Sal

Eobard is Ditchwater Sal

Kendra and Carter are hawks Vandal turns human when faking the inn

Mick is the unicorn that rescues Yvaine, but in this story he is a thief who stumbles upon Len chained to a tree and wants the diamond, which Len is more than happy to give him, no stealing required, “just get me out of here,” so Mick lets him go and travels with him to the inn. Mick tries to help when Vandal attacks, but Barry and Len get away by candlelight, so Mick hides and bides his time, only to eventually end up tracking them at the end to help – and bringing the diamond that reacts to Barry when he touches it, proving he’s the last heir.

The difference in this story is that when the king died, it was automatic that the gem would try to find the rightful heir, which, since Nora is older than her twin brothers HR and Harry, shot out the window trying to find her, but got confused by Eobard’s magic hiding Nora, and ended up knocking Len out of the sky instead. HR and Harry, who are not at all trying to kill each other, split up to find it. They gave up finding their sister alive years ago, but now they think she might be out there.

HR and Harry could both be killed like the princes in the story, or manage to survive. Either way, Nora and Henry end up becoming Queen and Prince Consort, while Barry and Len go out and have adventures with Mick, Sara, and the pirates, but eventually take over with Barry as king when the time comes.

They still end up going into the sky at the end of Barry’s life, where he is rejuvenated and reborn as a star to shine forever with Len.

anonymous asked:

i hate asking people to play tag police, but you're really respected in the fandom, could you please point out that people posting in the general danvers tag and saying 'i just don't get this ship' - especially during general danvers week - is really rude? we're just trying to enjoy what is left of our sunken ship over here. thanks :(

I don’t know that it’ll help much but JESUS WEPT this is one of the most annoying fandom behaviours. Wonder out loud all you want, but don’t tag it, you absolute shitbobbins. 

If I had the time and the complete disregard for other people’s happiness, I could tag any number of dull as ditchwater het pairings that are only even a thing because it’s forced by badly-written canon, but I don’t a) post it or b) tag it, on the rare occasions I rant about it because I wasn’t raised by wolves with no social etiquette. 

So guess what, people with the imagination of a dessicated hedgehog dick? WE DON’T CARE IF YOU DON’T SEE IT. Or understand it. Or have such low and boring standards for romance that you feel the need to tear down anything imaginative or exciting. Shut your flapping traps and keep it out of the ship’s tag. Pee in your own sandbox, and stay the flippity flip out of ours.