distracting belts

Hold Me Tight | Jimin x Reader

Ch.2 | Symptoms 

Rated Mature - implied smut with set up for future chapters

Originally posted by dazzlingkai

There is a time and a place for everything. Except to Park Jimin who makes you create time and place out of thin air until there’s really no argument to stand on. He’d heard about you from a friend, someone like himself who thought it ought to do him some good to- anyway, this is where it begins.

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Please You (M)

Originally posted by babiescars

**credit to original owner of gif  ヽ(^◇^*)/

pairing: jimin x reader
word count: 3.1k
request: Hi! If it’s not too much to ask, is it possible for you to do 2 different bdsm scenarios of jimin and jungkook. Where it gets really dirty lol. Thank you!!!
a/n: i literally cannot write after sex stuff to save my life I’m sorry, pls love me still. Jungkook’s part is tomorrow~~

⚠️  smut warning ⚠️

“Jimin?” you called softly, only to be met with a bitter silence through the halls of the dorm. Namjoon had called you and told you that Jimin wasn’t feeling to good so wasn’t going out with the other boys to get food, so you were the one that was going to have to look after him whilst they were out.

Not that you wouldn’t enjoy looking after Jimin, because his company was always appreciated. The only problem was that you were ninety nine point nine per cent sure he wasn’t actually sick - judging from the fact two hours ago he had FaceTimed you and he was laughing and joking like his usual, not-sick self.

So, either Namjoon was lying to you or Jimin was lying to everyone. The latter seemed more likely because Jimin had told the boys on more than one occasion that he was sick so that he could sneak you into the dorm, but you’d seen each other earlier. There was no point lying about the fact that sometimes Jimin was clingy (the good clingy - he’d always want to see you but he’d still understand that you had a life outside of him), but you really couldn’t think of why he’d need you back tonight.

Actually, you could. Who were you kidding, this was Park Jimin.

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Dad!Destiel Fic Recs

So I’ve been wanting to do a fic rec list for a while now, I’m just not really sure how to go about it. I thought instead of just listing all of my Bookmarks in one post, I’d go by category, so here you go..

I’ll start with Dad!Destiel for reasons (maybe someone can add to the list..?xD)

Scion of Stars by Aerlalaith
Words: 69 208
canon!verse, past Cas/Daphne
(Dean and Cas raise Cas’ kid)


One minute Dean’s cleaning shifter guts out of his hair, the next, Castiel’s telling him that he somehow has a kid. Not only that, but Crowley got there first and is holding him ransom. Now Dean has to stage a rescue mission (or make a deal), all the while trying to keep Castiel from freaking out about his sudden fatherhood, and Heaven from learning that their least favorite type of abomination is alive, kicking, and about to lose its baby teeth.

Out Of the Mouths of Babes by @grey2510
Words: 10 090
canon!verse, pre-relationship
(Dean and Cas interview kids for a case)


When a case comes up involving members of a first grade class, Dean and Cas end up spending some quality time with the tykes and learning a few things about themselves.

Adventures in Parenting by ireallyhatecornnuts (CharleyFoxtrot)
Words: 8 007
canon!verse, developing relationship
(Cas and Dean raise a kid but Dean is totally just an advisor not a dad nope)


Adventures in Babysitting Parenting

“Cas is the one who wants to go all Daddy Day Care. I’m just an advisor.”

Castiel refuses to turn one of his newly-human brethren into Child Protective Services, leaving he and Dean to play Dad and…well, Dad.

Excerpts from Carver Edlund’s Magnum Opus by twentysomething
Words: 27 056
AU, past Dean/Cassie
(Dean has a kid from a past relationship)


“C'mon, Cas, it’s like we’re Mulder and Scully, this is totally X-Files,” he says expansively, waving a hand around. It makes his tie flap and momentarily obscure the new and distracting belt buckle that just says “LUCKY” in huge, embarrassing reflective script in the early morning light. Castiel just stares blankly at him.

“I don’t know what that means,” Cas replies. Dean sighs and rubs the bridge of his nose under the bright yellow sunglasses.

The Choice by @aini-nufire
Words: 7 584
canon!verse, 12x19 coda, s12 fix it, Destiel if you squint
(Cas is parenting the nephilim)


Post 12x19 “The Future” - It takes them a year to find Cas.

Zootopia: Wild Times

by @nickwildeandjudyhoppsaremyotp​ and @zootopiahustle

Nick Wilde woke up at 5:00 am and smiled. Today was the day. He and Judy get the day off and they get to visit the best amusement park in all of Zootopia, Wild Times. Nick got out of bed and got dressed. He then drove by a doughnut place and brought some doughnuts and coffee. Soon he arrived at Judy’s apartment and he knocked on the door. “Hey Carrots,” Nick said. “Are you awake?”

Judy stumbled out of bed, struggling to respond. After getting herself somewhat together and into some clean clothes, she answered the door, stretching. “Mm? Oh hi Nick. Good morning!”

“Morning Judy,” Nick said smiling. “I brought some doughnuts and coffee. Want some?” He asked as he showed Judy the box of doughnuts.

Judy took the box smiling.
“Of course! Thanks Nick. I bet you’re excited for us having the day off.”

“You know it Carrots,” Nick said chuckling. Nick handed Judy a doughnut and her coffee. He then began eating a strawberry doughnut and drinking his coffee. “What do you think of the coffee and doughnut?” He asked.

Judy tried to speak through her mouthful of doughnut, but decided against it and awkwardly gave her partner a thumbs up with a smile.

Nick smiled as he finished his doughnut. “I’m glad you like it,” he said. “What do you want to do first when we get to Wild Times?”

Judy tapped her chin thoughtfully as she finished her doughnut. “Hm… I think we should do some exciting roller coasters! You know? Get our day off to a rousing start.”

“Sounds great,” Nick said “I love the roller coasters there. You ready to go, Carrots?”

“Yup!” Judy grinned, stretching.

“Alright then,” Nick said chuckling. “Let’s go” he exited the apartment and went to his car.

Following him, Judy couldn’t help but imagine herself and her partner at the top of a huge Ferris Wheel, laughing and pointing out what they saw. Shaking herself from her daydream, she reminded herself that if she thought about what the day could be like, she’d never actually enjoy what the day was.

Nick smiled and started to drive. In about 45 minutes they arrived outside of a large theme park. “Is this your first time here Carrots?” Nick asked as he parked the car.

Judy unbuckled her seat belt, somewhat distracted as she looked out of the window at the park. “Huh? Oh um… Yeah actually. I’ve heard of it before, though.”

“I’ve only been here once,” Nick said as he for out of the car. They crossed the parking lot and gave a ticket taker their tickets. The fox and bunny entered the park. “Seeing as how you want to go on a roller coaster first do you want to go on the best one?” Nick asked.

Judy looked around, practically vibrating with excitement. “I want to go on all of them at the same time! But which one is best?”

Nick pointed to a large roller coaster that encircled the park. “That is,” Nick said with a smirk. “It’s called Saber Tooth Mountain. Wanna go on it?”

Judy stared up at the ride in awe. “Go…on that…? Um… O-Of course!”

“You OK Carrots?” Nick asked. “Are you afraid of heights?”

Judy bit her lip to keep from screaming at the thought of getting stuck at the very top of the ride. It just seemed so…far away…
“What? Ha! Noooooo. I’m fine.”

Nick smiled and grabbed Judy’s paw and ran towards the coaster. Soon they were at the front of the line and Nick hopped into the coaster saving a seat for Judy. Come on Carrots!“ Nick said with a smirk. “You’ll love it!”

Judy, forcing herself to smile, hopped in next to Nick. Still trying to seem nonchalant, she fidgeted. “So… Is this one pretty rough?”

“Not really,” Nick said. Soon the safety bar raised down. Nick held on to them tightly,not knowing he grabbed Judy’s paw as well. The roller coaster zoomed off and Nick laughed loudly.

Judy gasped and held her eyes shut at first, but once she felt Nick’s paw on hers and realized that she wasn’t dead yet, she opened one eye. The rush of adrenaline was enough to make her open both eyes and start enjoying the ride. She screamed with joy and also a little bit of fear.

The coaster went way up into the sky and then quickly went down. Nick hollered with joy. The view of the park was amazing and Nick loved it. He looked ahead and saw a few loops. “HANG ON CARROTS!” Nick laughed.

Judy grinned and screamed with joy as the coaster raced on its track, her paw clutching the safety bar as hard as she could. The adrenaline rush was unlike anything she’d ever experienced before.

Eventually the ride ended and Nick stepped off, realizing he holding onto Judy’s paw the whole time. “What did you think Judy?” Nick asked laughing.

Judy grinned and bounced on her toes. “That was awesome!!! It was…and then we…and the loops… And it just… That was awesome!!!” Realizing her paw was fitting snugly in Nick’s, her cheeks burned red. “O-Oh um… I…”

Nick blushed and let go of Judy’s paw. “Sorry Carrots. What ride do you want to go on next?” Nick asked trying to sound relaxed.

Judy’s paw felt cold without Nick’s, but she forced her feelings down and smiled. “Um… The bumper cars look fun.”

Nick tried to stop to stop blushing. “Follow me,” Nick said as he grabbed Judy’s paw again and ran with her to the bumper cars Nick jumped into a green bumper car. “You ready Carrots?” Nick asked laughing.

Her heart jumped when Nick grabbed her paw, but she laughed anyway and hopped into an orange bumper car. “The question is, are you?” Judy grinned.

Nick laughed and the bumper cars began moving. Nick drove his car and bumped into other cars. He then saw Judy and bumped his car into Judy’s car.

Judy grinned and swerved her car back to bump into Nick, smirking. “Ha!” She sped off after some other cars, laughing the whole way.

Nick laughed as Judy bumped into him and he began bumping into other cars. Eventually the ride ended and it was revealed that the animal with the most points was… Judy.

Judy finished her laughing fit and looked up at the score. “Huh? I…I won? Really? Awesome!” She grinned, bouncing.

Nick smiled at Judy. He always over seeing her happy. An employee came over and gave Judy a large stuffed toy of a bear. “Great job out there Carrots,” Nick said. “I’d say the winner should choose the next ride. Where do you want to go next?”

Judy nuzzled her prize, smiling brightly. “Hm… What other rides are great?”

Nick looked around the area. “Well I’m this area there’s the Ferris Wheel, this log flume ride called Waterfall Canyon, and…” Nick blushed heavily and stopped talking when he noticed the tunnel of love.

Judy felt her heart jump as she noticed what he was looking at. “O-Oh uh… We could… Go on that. We could make fun of the lovey-dovey couples! I mean… If you want to. Besides, the lines are really long for everything else…”

Nick laughed trying to act natural and nodded. “Sure thing Carrots,” Nick said. “Anything you want.” Nick walked over to the line for the Tunnel of Love and waited.

Judy blushed softly, cuddling her stuffed animal as they waited in line. She struggled to remain calm, but her heart was pounding so hard she felt the whole world could hear it.

Soon the duo were at the front of the line and a heart shape boat floated up to them. Nick stepped into the boat and extended his paw to Judy. “You ready Carrots?” Nick asked, blushing.

Judy nodded, taking his paw gently and stepping in. “As ready as I’ll ever be…”

The boat slowly drifted into the tunnel. The tunnel was dimly lit by pink lights in the shape of hearts. Nick whistled in amazement. “Whoa it’s actually pretty in here.” Nick said smiling.

Judy smiled, looking around. “Yeah…it is. Well, I guess it would kind of have to be…”

“Yeah,” Nick said. “Hey Carrots, have I ever told you how glad I am that I have you in my life?”

Judy blushed softly and smiled. “Well…once or twice…”

Nick smiled and placed his paw around Judy’s paw. “I mean it Judy,” Nick said, unable to stop blushing. “My life became so much better when I met you. Carrots I-” but Nick cut himself off.

Judy jumped a little at his touch, and found that she couldn’t stop blushing either. “W-What is it, Nick?” Her heart was pounding and she was sure that her ears were bright red, but she just had to know what he wanted to say.

Nick looked at Judy and took a deep breath. “I love you Judy,” he said. “I’ve loved you for a long time now,” 

Judy felt her heart jump and she smiled, squeezing his paw gently. “You do…? I…I…I love you too Nick. I realized that a while ago…I just…didn’t know how to tell you…” 

Nick felt his heart jump as well. He gently pulled Judy close to him and he kissed her, not wanting to let go of her. Judy smiled, feeling as if her heart would burst at any moment. His kisses were like candy, and she’d never experienced this kind of joy before.  “So does this mean we’re a couple now?” He asked in between the kiss. 

 “I guess it does. Heh. I definitely didn’t see this coming when I got up this morning…” She giggled. 

“Neither did I,” Nick said, chuckling. Soon the ride ended and the couple got out of the boat. Nick held Judy’s paw. “So where do you want to go next?“Nick asked as he kissed her cheek. 

Judy giggled and squirmed a bit, not yet used to the idea of having a fox boyfriend. “What about that log ride?” She pointed at it, her giddy smile stuck to her face.

Nick smiled and took Judy’s paw and ran with her to the ride. The line for the ride was short and soon they stepped into a boat shaped like a log. Nick stepped in with Judy. Soon the log began to move. “Hang on Carrots!” Nick laughed 

Judy laughed, holding onto Nick’s paw tightly. “Trust me, I am!” She grinned. 

The of flume climbed a current of way that was ascending into the sky. Soon the current descended back to the ground and the boat went faster, causing a massive splash getting the couple soaking wet. Nick was laughing the whole time.

Judy laughed when the water practically drowned them, shaking the water from her fur afterwards. “That was so cool! Freezing cold, but cool!” She giggled, water dripping from her ears. 

Nick smiled and wrapped his arms around Judy to try to warm her up. “This place also has a water park by the way,” Nick said. “Wanna go there later?” 

Judy nestled into his arms and smiled contentedly.
“That sounds like fun. I was wanting to get in a pool anyway.”

“Great,” Nick said. “You’ll love it the pool is beautiful. But first would you like to go on the Ferris Wheel? The view is gorgeous.” 

Judy nodded. “I love Ferris Wheels! Let’s go.” 

Nick smiled and held onto Judy’s paw and walked over to the Ferris Wheel. There wasn’t a line to it so the couple got to get in it pretty quickly. They stepped into the passenger car and the Ferris Wheel began to slowly move. Soon they could see the whole park. “What do you think Judy?” Nick asked as he kissed her cheek. 

Judy blushed, smiled, and leaned against him. “I think its gorgeous… Just amazing.” She thought about how usually she wasn’t great with heights, but right now everything seemed a-okay. 

Nick smiled “I’m glad you like it Judy,” he said. “But the view isn’t as beautiful as you.” Nick winked at Judy. 

Judy laughed and elbowed him gently. “You’re such a dork sometimes…” 

Nick chuckled. “Yeah but I’m your dork,” he said. Nick then kissed Judy as their car reached the top and stopped to let other passengers on. 

Judy just giggled into the kiss and kissed him back. It was hard not to feel at least a little overwhelmed by the sweet, romantic atmosphere, mixed with her sheer happiness. Forcing herself not to scream her joy to the world, she settled for squeezing her fox’s paw. 

Nick squeezed back. Soon they were back on the ground. And Nick led Judy to the Waterpark. The Waterpark looked like something out of a dream. There were waterfalls, replicas of pirate ships and at the deepest end was what looked like a large, ancient castle. “Ready to go swimming Carrots?” Nick asked, smiling. 

Judy bounced up and down, grinning. “I’ve never been more ready! Just look at all that water!” 

Nick smiled at Judy as he walked off and went to change into his swimming trunks. Soon Nick came back and jumped into the pool. He dove up and looked at Judy. “Come on in Carrots,” Nick said. “The water is perfect.”

Judy went and changed into her swimsuit, then hopped in the pool. The water really was perfect.

“If you think this is cool you should see what’s it like underwater,” Nick said as he put on a pair of goggles. He then gave Judy a pair of goggles and dove beneath the water.

Judy laughed and slipped on the goggles. She dove down into the water, and grinned. The water was completely clear, and she could see Nick smiling from where she was.

Nick waved at her and swam over to the wall of the pool, revealing a beautiful mural of ocean life. Nick looked over at Judy and smiled as if to ask what she thought of it. 

Judy swam closer to it and looked at the mural. She caught his eye and grinned. She nodded and gave him a thumbs up. 

Nick smiled and swam over to Judy. He grabbed her paw and pointed to an underwater tunnel. He looked at the tunnel and then back to Judy as if to ask if she wants to go in it. 

Judy blinked, hesitated, then smiled and nodded, squeezing his paw slightly. 

Nick swam with Judy through the tunnel. Once they were in the tunnel they swam up to a large secret air pocket that made it look like they outside at night. “What do you think Carrots?” Nick asked as he caught his breath and put his goggles in his head. 

Judy looked around, her mouth slightly open in awe. “This is…wow…” 

Nick smiled at Judy and swam up to her. “I’m so glad you like it Carrots,” Nick said as he kissed her. “So I take it you’re enjoying the day?”

Judy smiled and nuzzled right under his chin. “I love this day… Mostly because I’m with you…” 

Nick smiled. “I also love today Carrots ” Nick said. “Because I get to be with you.” Suddenly the simulation began showing shooting stars. Nick kissed Judy’s head as he watched the simulation.

Judy let herself relax against him, her eyes locked on the simulation. “Oh wow… Its so…wow…” 

Nick nodded in agreement. “Hey Judy mind if I ask you a question?“he asked 

Judy looked over at Nick, blushing softly. “What is it, Nick?” 

“When did you realize you had a crush on me?” He asked with a smile and a wink.

Judy laughed uncomfortably, tugging an ear softly. “Well um… A few weeks after we partnered up… I just kinda looked at you and I…I thought you were attractive…” 

Nick blushed. “Why thank you Carrots,” he said as he kissed Judy passionately. 

Judy felt her heart pounding in her chest, and a warm tingly feeling spread from her toes to the top of her head. She pulled away giggling, slightly out of breath. “You’re throwing me off, Nick…” 

“Sorry Carrots,” he laughed. He didn’t realize that he began wagging his tail and accidentally splashed Judy gently.

Judy noticed his wagging and laughed when he splashed her. “You alright there, Slick?” 

Nick noticed that his tail was wagging and blushed. “Sorry about that Carrots,” he chuckled. “I just guess I’m happy to see you happy.” 

Judy grinned and tapped his nose. “That’s alright. I’m happy you’re happy too. So… Now what?” She asked, looking around. 

“Wanna go back to the main part of the pool?” Nick asked as he slid his goggles back on.

Judy nodded, clearing her goggles and making sure they were on comfortably. “Yup!”

Nick smiled and took Judy by the paw and dove underwater. Soon they were back in the main part of the pool. “Hey this place has this awesome water slide,” Nick said. “Wanna go on that?

Judy shook the water from her face and slid off the goggles. “Sounds like fun! Lead the way!” 

Nick stepped out of the pool with Judy and walked her to large waterside that spiraled around the tower it was connected to. Eventually they got to the top of the tower and an employee gave them a large water tube to sit in. “You two ready?” The employee ask. “I am,” Nick said. “How about you Carrot?” 

Judy took a deep breath and nodded. “Yup! Let’s do this!” She forced a grin, when in all actuality her heart was pounding and her hands were trembling. 

The employee pushed the tube and the began to go down the slide. “WOOHOO!” Nick yelled as he raised his paws in the air. 

Judy screamed in fear at first, unsure whether or not she liked the ride. A few seconds later, she found herself listening to Nick’s joyful cries and started laughing and yelling herself. 

Eventually the tube was close to the bottom and as it hit the water, causing a large splash, Nick kissed Judy.

Judy gasped in pleasant surprise, the tips of her ears turning bright red. 

Nick noticed Judy’s gasp and smiled. “What did you think of the ride Carrots?” Nick asked. 

Judy giggled and grinned. “It was really fun! Especially the end.” She smirked, then playfully punched his arm before scooting out of reach.

Nick laughed. “I’m glad you liked it Carrots,” Nick said with a wink. He hopped out of the tube and went back into the pool.

Judy laughed and slid back into the pool, shuddering a little. 

Nick swam over to Judy. “You feeling alright Carrots?” He asked 

Judy nodded, a bit confused. “Of course I am… Maybe a bit cold…” 

Nick swam over and wrapped his tail around Judy. “How does that feel Judy?” Nick asked as he kissed her “Do you feel warmer?” 

Judy giggled softly, curling into him. “Mmhm. Much warmer. How did you know what to do?” 

Nick smiled. “I just guessed,” Nick said as he nuzzled Judy and kissed her again. 

Judy grinned and kissed him back, humming softly. “You know me so well already.” 

“I guess I do,” Nick said chuckling softly. “I’m glad to see you happy.” 

Judy smiled, burying herself deeper in his arms. “Its always nice to see you happy too, Nick…” 

“Hey Carrots,” Nick said. “You ready to eat lunch?”

Judy thought for a moment, then nodded and smiled. “Now that I think about it, I am kinda hungry. 

Nick smiled and dove underwater. He shortly doves up so that Judy was riding on his back. He began swimming out of the pool with Judy on his back. “What would you like to eat Carrots?” He asked, laughing.

Judy giggled and blushed, holding onto him tightly. “Hmm… I’m kinda craving some kind of carnival food…” 

Nick arrive at the edge of the pool and climbed out. He began walking to a food court. “How do pretzels sound?“Nick asked. “And maybe some ice cream.” 

Judy grinned and hummed with happiness. “That sounds great! Especially the ice cream!” 

Nick smiled and ordered their food. Nick paid the cashier and handed Judy a pretzel. Nick took a bit out of his and began eating. “What kind of ice cream do you want Carrots?” Nick asked.

Judy bounced around a bit as she ate, then pointed at the cookies and cream ice cream. “Mm!” 

Nick was almost done with his pretzel and smiled. “I love that kind too Carrots,” he said. Nick ordered two cookies and cream ice creams and gave one to Judy as he paid the cashier. Nick finished his pretzel and began eating his ice cream. He held Judy’s paw. “How does it taste Judy?” Nick asked. 

Judy smiled at him, not knowing she had ice cream on her nose. “It’s really delicious! This is the best cookies and cream I’ve had in a while. I wonder how they do it?” 

Nick smiled at Judy at kissed her nose. "You had ice cream on it,” he said. He did not realize he had some in his nose as well. 

Judy smirked and giggled. "I guess we both do.” She grinned, kissing his nose softly and blushing. “All better…” 

Nick laughed and blushed. “Thanks Carrots,” he said. When Nick finished his ice cream he looked at Judy. “Ready to go back into the pool? or do you want to go on more rides?”

Judy made sure her mouth was clean, then looked at him. “Isn’t there some saying about not swimming right after eating?” 

“Oh you’re right!” Nick exclaimed. “Thanks for reminding me Carrots.” Nick kissed Judy’s head.

Judy laughed and smiled. “You’re welcome, Nick. I had a feeling you didn’t want to get a cramp…” 

Nick smiled at Judy and sat down at the edge of the pool. “It’s a beautiful day huh Carrots?” Nick asked.

Judy splashed the water a bit with her feet, smiling wistfully. “Yeah it is… I think it hasn’t been this nice in a while.” 

“It’s even better now because I can spend the day with you,” Nick said kissing Judy. 

Judy giggled, smiling into the kiss. She didn’t care who saw her or what they thought. She and Nick were meant to be together. 

Function Before Fashion

…it’s always an issue for me. and as i need a distraction this evening, i’m going to drop this here and see if i’m the only one who’s perplexed with Sandor’s unfortunate baldric belt (long sword belt)…sometimes i think it’s just because Brad’s not around when he needs him so he does it himself and he really doesn’t care how it goes…case in point:

here it is, over his gorget, which would be quite handy to unbuckle and remove the sword easily. plus it’s resting firmly on his shoulder. for now.

and with the addition of the Kinsguard armor, it just looks uncomfortable as all-get-out, digging into his neck. that alone would make me refuse to wear fancy-pants armor, but then, i can’t stand seatbelt straps, either.

and here we have it buckled underneath his gorget…which makes me think Brad must have been on duty. it’s more aesthetically pleasing and probably more comfortable too.

again, there’s still easy-access to the buckle, and we know he got it off quickly to take on his brother at the Hand’s Tourney. it just looks better.

and this…wtf, this…well this just screams of a “stop the bloody thing from slicing into my neck-floof, it’s rubbing and giving me a rash” kind of desperation.

anonymous asked:

Hey, I was wondering if you knew the best way to pack with skinny jeans or tight trousers. I wear tight trousers a lot and I can never pack without it looking like a have a boner xD Just wondering if you could help me out. Love your blog! :D

i can defiantly help you out with this my friend okay 

so say you have a sailor and a pair of tight boxer briefs and maybe some skinny jeans and a belt 

step one: put underwear on 

step two: insert packer into underwear (use harness if needed)

holy bulge batman that is resting way too high 

step three: lower and tuck packer ( the dick will rest between your legs)

better see placement is key 

step four: put on pants 

bonerific well isn’t this awkward its okay just breathe there’s more steps 

step five: put on belt 

the belt distracts a bit from the size of the bulge but wait there’s more 

step six: sag those mother fucking trousers like you mean it 

now your dick wont scare children or the elderly 

remember to keep your sag tasteful and not show your crack 

sagging pants has many benefits like hiding hips bonerific bulges and tricking people into thinking your pants aren’t made for girls 

this can be used for any packer not just the sailor soft pack and remember boys we’re showers not growers so if you want a big fucking bulge you rock it like no tomorrow because you know they want to see your peecock cock cock your peecock cock 

confidence is key when it comes to packing and don’t be afraid to adjust through out the day cis guys do it all the time that’s why dress pants have deep pockets 

Ishida judges the Stern Ritter uniforms

As requested by anon. :)

Ishida probably has strong opinions about each of the Stern Ritter’s uniforms. Here’s what he might say about each of them!

1. Giselle

“Too many buttons, of course. Do you need six buttons, just to close one coat? I don’t think so! But I’m willing to let this pass because Giselle is a sadist. Of course she injures the eyes of those who look on her with her needless extra buttons.”

Ishida: It’s kinda cool that her bangs look like antennae, though.

2. Lille

“If I had arms and legs like that, I’d show them off too!”

Ishida: Although the hat is a bit….extreme. 

3. Nianzol

“No shoes and no collar? It’s like he left the house while still half-dressed.”

Ishida: This is why I always carry extra collars and extra shoes, myself!

4. Gremmy

“Gremmy can make his uniform look any way he wishes, and he chose THAT? A hood and a bunch of buttons?”

Ishida: Seriously, why is everyone in this army so into buttons??

5. Candice

“She ripped her coat. Ripped her coat! Why would she do that to her uniform? Doesn’t she have an extra coat?”

Ishida: At least she has a cool hat, though.

6. Mask de Masculine

“……I don’t have words.”

Ishida: But at least the mask distracts from the belt.

7. Meninas

“Not gonna lie, Meninas’s improvements on her uniform are true improvements! The ruffles, the bow, the belt - it all works together as a theme!”

Ishida: And i just - I have a soft spot for ruffles.

8. Gerard

“His pants are black. It’s like he doesn’t even want to be a Quincy.”

Ishida: He thinks his helmet will distract people from the pants. But he is wrong.

9. PePe

“His regular uniform is a bit….sloppy. But at least it isn’t a diaper.”

Ishida: I just don’t feel like sweatshirts or diapers have a place in the army.

10. BG9

“I’d be more excited about the armor if it weren’t for the giant codpiece.”

Ishida: Or whatever that large bulbous thing over his crotch is.

11. Cang Du

“Black gloves AND a black sash? What is he, a shinigami?”

Ishida: Also, I’ve just never seen the point of fingerless gloves.

12. Bazz-B

“I know Bazz-B is impetuous, but why crop your pants to show off your boots? Why don’t you just, I don’t know, tuck the pants INTO the boots?”

Ishida: He must look so silly when he takes his shoes off.

13. Liltotto

“She made patterned leggings herself. I support that.”

Ishida: Still too many damn buttons, though.

As Nodt


Ishida: But I guess he makes that spiky mask work for him. Not what I would have chosen, though.

15. Bambietta

“Fighting in a miniskirt must be hard. I love the hat, though.”

Ishida: Sure don’t approve of black stockings, though.

16. Askin

“Way too distracted by the Aizen-style hair lock to pay any attention to his uniform, tbh.”

Ishida: Which is exactly why hair is so important!

17. Ishida

“Sure, my uniform has a few too many buttons. But the cape is awesome. And I do look damn good in it.”

Ishida: Evil has a few perks.

Fic prompt meme: 

Petyr x Sansa

 #68 ‘Pillow fight’ requested by anon

The laughter and raucous shrieks could be heard from behind the closed doors of Lady Myranda’s chambers. Petyr Baelish stood idly by the door, having paused to listen, and he shared a glance with the guard posted down by the end of the hall. shrieks and giggles and cries for mercy could be heard through the bolted wood. The sounds of delighted young girls, how many of them you couldn’t tell, but it sounded quite the lively affair.

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suffocated; jonghyun-centric; R; 1551 words

summary: jonghyun’s addicted to a certain kind of feeling he can only find in the middle of a dark, sleazy club.
a/n: a birthday gift for my baby kaptain (jabiless) because we’re both obsessed with the idea of jonghyun kissing anonymous dudes. this was written pretty quickly and not edited at all so sorry if it sucks but i hope you’ll like it!!

he could feel it, feel the music thrumming through him, feel it as it made the metal of his belt buckle buzz with the vibrations of the bass as he let his thumb catch on it, leaning casually against the wall of the club, drink in his other hand.

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one-golden-eye  asked:

Silver wasn't in the room anymore, now Beetle was roaming the mill all by himself, looking for his other sires or his carrier. Soon he gets distracted by a conveyor belt and attempts to climb on to it.

Chop Shop walks through the mill, searching for Beetle. Stupid Silver, leaving the baby all alone. Suddenly, he spots his son reaching for a conveyor belt leading to the furnace. “BEETLENO!”