How to make a motherfucking paper flower

 Ur gonna need:

  • A square paper sheet
  • A pencil

Take ur godamn paper

then u fold it in half

fold it in half again

then u put ur finger in there

and squeez it down so it looks like this

repeat on the other side

then u take ur finger again into the motherfuckin flap

And u squeez 

until it looks like this shit

repeat on all the folds so it looks like this

then u fold in in to the middle

and repeat on all sides

then u open the folds u just made

then u take dis part

and push it up


until it looks like a vagina

then u take da fuckin flap

and u fold it down

repeat on all sides

then u find dis part of ur motherfuckin piece of art

and u turn dat shit 180° around

Then u fold in some shit, and repeat on all sides

then u fold down this shit

and repeat on all sides

then u push out all the petals until it looks like dis

then u take ur fuckin pencil and u roll those fuckin petals around it

then it looks like dis

repeat on all sides

and then ur done,

and it looks like this shit

And extra tip, if u on a date u spray dat shit with perfume so he/she/they never forgets ur sexy scent.


Some rebloggers commented that they couldn’t read the script font I used in my original post (because of dyslexia or other reasons). I love the idea that people might actually be inspired by this resource, so I remade it to be more accessible.

This free font is called Crewniverse and was designed by MaxiGamer to look like Steven Universe title cards. Hopefully it is more legible, but here is the list in text form just in case:

Almandine, Pyrope, Cinnabar, Tourmaline,
Coral, Realgar, Rosinca, Spinel,
Rubicelle, Sunstone, Carnelian, Padparadscha,
Amber, Desert Rose, Rutile, Jacinth,
Tiger’s Eye, Citrine, Diaspore, Andesine

Sphene, Heliodor, Viridine, Cleiophane,
Demantoid, Epidote, Amatrice, Olivine,
Prase, Vermarine, Heliotrope, Diopside,
Triphane, Jade, Emerald, Chrysoprase,
Sapphirine, Dioptase, Chrysocolla, Aventurine

Euclase, Aquamarine, Devilline, Larimar,
Anatase, Topaz, Lavendulan, Celestine,
Moonstone, Haüyne, Disthene, Chalcedony,
Pleonaste, Covelline, Violane, Spodumene,
Bismuth, Zircon, Iridot, Ametrine

Morion, Coquina, Ballas, Pericline,
Mica, Celsian, Alabaster, Agate,
Sodaclase, Adularia, Gypsum, Marble,
Girasol, Galena, Carbonado, Lussatine,
Onyx, Obsidian, Jet, Schorl

As I noted before, I combed several lists of gems and minerals to compile this list of non-ite names, but it’s by no means comprehensive. I narrowed it down to 80 that are gemsona-suitable, i.e., ones with nice names and visual appearances. And note that some of these are synonyms, trade names, or outdated names, so purists should do Googling before doodling.

A Kyanite reference sheet!
With weapon included! And Steven (for scale)!
A long time in the making, but SUPER happy to have this done!

The link is her biography. I’m expecting to tweak her look and bio  after I have a certain someone critique it, but I like what I’ve been able to come up with.